by The Pighead
Here's a new instance of me posting things late at night. Hell yeah.
Anyway, happy new year! In order to celebrate that, here's Chapter 2. It's, like I said previously, shorter and more "a lot of people talk" but I still hope that you will have fun reading this.
Earth-84B
When the portal opened and Pighead stepped out of it, it was safe to say that she was expecting to see the world in a better state than that. Safe to say, it wasn't the case.
Sometimes, when people analyze the state of a place, they like to compare it to smells. And this one… it definitely smelled like death and destruction. Everything was dark and grey and all she could see around her was rubble. Ficboy joined her quickly.
« The fuck is that ? »
« One possible future, he simply responded. But if our mission succeeds, one that won't become the Prime timeline of this world. We need to look out for the responsible. »
« And since you're the weeb among the two of us, I guess you know who did it, right ? »
« Indeed. We need to go. »
The two, then, went flying. They spent several minutes just doing so until they heard a noise similar to an explosion. There was a safe spot near them : they went there to hide. Another booming noise got heard. Then, someone laughed for some seconds. The French woman turned to her colleague, who suddenly became somber.
« It's him. »
Using her powers to turn invisible, Pighead looked beyond the spot. She was surprised by who she saw : Son Goku himself. Well, « himself » was a stretch because he looked anything but himself. The grey and black outfit he was wearing and his smug, self-satisfied expression (and, well, the fact that he was destroying things) was enough to tell something happened. The author went back to the spot.
« Was I supposed to know that, in one timeline, Goku becomes a baddie ? Like, kicking some Saiyan' ass is something that might be very fun to do but still, he's the last one I was expecting… »
« It's because it's not Goku, but merely someone else wearing his corpse. This one is commonly known as « Goku Black », which came to be when the body of the great hero got possessed by one of the Supreme Kais, named Zamasu. »
At this name, Pighead raised an eyebrow.
« Wait, Zamasu ? I know that name, in the Trope Pantheons, he's that condescending cunt who spends all his time criticizing everyone for every single thing. Needless to say, no one likes him here. »
« He's way more than that. That's why we have to do our best to avoid the possession. »
« Still a master at stating the obvious, lad. »
« We will speak to the Supreme Kai of Universe 7, Shin, to warn him about Zamasu !, said Ficboy, clearly ignoring the above comment. Here, we will have no need to use fake identities, we will just be ourselves. Once this is done, we will speak to Goku before moving to the next step of our mission. »
Pighead just nodded.
« You sure it's gonna work ? »
« It might, her friend simply responded.
« Not that much of an answer, but whatever. Let's do this quickly, I'm already bored sitting my ass here when I could turn this guy into a banana… »
« Is there a moment where you're not bored ? »
« When I'm working on my watches. Or recording something with the Fazbear Gang. Or when me and Deli', we talk to each other about things we like. A lot of things. Which I'm presently not doing, so the faster we do that, the faster we get to the end of the mission, the faster I can go back to do all those things I talked about. »
This time, the Meddler herself created the portal leading to this Earth's present.
When they came out of it, Pighead admitted to herself that just looking at the present was nicer. In front of her, lush forests, large mountains and cozy little villages could be seen, a feast for the eyes ! The duo quickly resumed their flying.
« So, your Shin guy, how do we find him ? Is he, like, in space or on some giant-ass tower or a temple or something like that ? Pretty sure they wouldn't get their asses up to see us and we will have to do trials and shit in order to have an audience, it always happens like that in mangas ! »
« Our aura is very powerful, you know this as well as me. I can bet that feeling the presence of people from another plane of reality will lead them to investigate. »
They kept on flying for several other minutes, admiring the landscape at first… but of course, the boredom came back.
« GOOOOOOOOD, Pighead said loudly, it is just possible for the douchebag to fucking show up and we can do the fucking job ? »
« Don't say that ! Shin is extremely powerful, you can't just call him by such strong words. »
« I am more powerful than this lazy ass and I call people the words I fucking want AND you're not my dad, I'm 1-year older than you. And if I have to drag this bum out of his fucking home and kick his ass until he accepts to do as we say and blows Fake Goku to smithereens, I will fucking do so. And it's not a bunch of aliens with their energy balls who will fucking scare m- »
« Excuse me, would you like to repeat that ? »
The authors interrupted themselves when they heard the voice above them and looked at its source. It led Pighead to think that she didn't need to actually do so.
Three aliens were flying slightly above the two authors : a short, purple-skinned one with a white mohawk, a cat-like, also purple-skinned, one and a blue-skinned, tall one with purple-pink regal attire. Their faces were those of boredom. For one second, Pighead thought he could easily relate to that. Ficboy, on the other hand, was actually quite happy about that. He bowed a little.
« Supreme Kai Shin. Guide Angel Whis. Beerus, God of Destruction. A real pleasure to be able to meet you. Excuse the manners of my friend. »
« Avoid the pleasantries, simply responded Beerus, and decline your identity, as well as the one of this loud hyaena next to you. »
Before the French woman could think about being offended by this comment, the young man obliged.
« Our names are a secret. But you might call me « The Pilot ». My friend here is named « The Meddler ». »
« And you, immediately seconded the aforementionned in direction of Beerus, you're this Sphinx guy I saw fighting Goku in this music video where there was gameplay footage of… Battle of Gods, I think ? Think it was this game. And it was over a song by C2C. I'm telling y'all, Tetr4 is among the most underrated albums of the 2010s, such a shame they never made another album after that… »
The only response of the four other people was to look at Pighead like she just spoke Martian.
« Oh, yeah, she said when she realized that, I forgot none of you had the privilege to look at Game One Music HD when younger. Explains probably why most of us here have the faces of people whose idea of fun is playing crosswords all the time. »
« We are beings from another plane of reality, quickly said Ficboy before the three deities started getting bored and leaving, known as the « Monks ». Our goal is to watch over the Multiverse and protect it from multiple threats. Which is why we are humbly requesting your help ! A god-like being named Heaven Ascension DIO is currently busy fomenting plans to take over the infinite Earths and remake it in his own image. To prevent this, we are trying to create a team of multiversal heroes to stop him. That's why we wish to see Son Goku, as he is one of our choices for this team ! »
At least, Pighead thought, you managed to keep it brief.
For some seconds, no one said anything, as the three deities were simply eyeing the two authors. The woman couldn't help but frown a bit. Their looks were… like X-rays. Like, yes, Ficboy was right about their auras and they're definitely paying attention to that but it was still unnerving to see them looking at her. Were they able to read minds ? She actually never tried to guess what the powers of those three were. But if they were deities like her, would this mean that they could know what she's thinking ? That they would learn her goals and spill it out, therefore ruining her plans ? That they would try to prevent the coming of this new age she saw ?
Would she have to make them shut their mouths ?
« Leave, finally responded Whis. The heroes among our 13 universes are already here and more than willing to protect those Earths. Plus, you are both trespassing. There's rules for those who want to enter this universe and just because you come from « another plane of reality » doesn't exempt you to follow them. »
His tone was polite and amicable but stern. Pighead's expression didn't change while Ficboy's hopeful expression dropped a little bit. Yes, they were gods and there was a lot of people as powerful, if not more, than them. But, at least, he was expecting them to take that more seriously ! Immediately, the young man took a step towards them.
« But you can't say that ! Maybe if I show you- »
His words were suddenly interrupted when he suddenly felt Beerus' hand around his neck, having grabbed him with force and looking at him completely unamused.
« I think Whis just gave you your first warning. But if you're not willing to understand, allow me to make it more clear : if you don't leave our world immediately, of your own volition, I will make you leave existence altogether. That was your last warning. »
The only answer Beerus had from the Pilot was the muffled sounds who might resemble a sentence he was trying to produce. The Meddler started snickering a bit. Like, come on, it was funny seeing someone struggling in this type of situations, especially when people in the receiving end of it start flailing their arms and moving in a silly fashion !
Wait, what am I saying ?
She quickly stopped after this thought and straightened herself. If they were trying to act on their words, she would easily beat them and if they had to go see Goku themselves, well, they would. Only because she had the feeling that Ficboy wouldn't want to just stay on one failure.
Then, her friend made a more agressive gesture and the looks on the faces of the three became looks of shock. He was showing them the future and how the man they both saw earlier came to be, how it led to the world becoming just ruins and dead people.
She took off her mask and looked at it to see if it wasn't too dirty, now that she was thinking about ruins and rubble and all this shit… also, she definitely needed to completely switch to purple when it came to her hair or dye the brown parts another color. Purple and brown don't marry very well.
« WHAT WAS THIS ? »
Oh, yeah, she almost forgot about them, thanks for reminding her, Sphinx-Man. She looked at the four others again.
« What was this trickery ? Gomasu is a man of honor and dignity, there is no way his assistant would be the complete opposite ! »
« This is, alas, nothing more than the truth, simply responded the Pilot. You called us « mortals » and… in a way, we are, yes. But we have knowledge about all events that had, have and will happen. You have to take my word for it. »
Beerus and the two others looked at each other for some seconds. There was looks of apprehension on their faces, mixed with uncertainty. They were strangers, after all. But, still, the fact that they managed to enter their world, that they knew their names despite never having met them and that they were able to also know the future… there was too much questions in their heads, now, for them to simply dismiss the duo.
Finally, Shin spoke.
« In any other times, I would have agreed with Whis & Beerus… but if those warnings are true, it would be foolish of us to ignore it. Plus, your claims of coming from a different plane of reality matches the auras coming from both of you. But I'll let you resume your explanations. »
« Thank you, responded the Pilot, his smile and confidence now back. So, as I was saying- »
« My pal here wanted to create a team, he put a lot of papers with written names inside of a hat, shuffled it and bam ! Goku was among the names he picked. And so, there's this Heaven Ascension DIO guy – whose name is that, by the way ? – who is like « HAHAHAAAAAAA ! I'M-A BECOME-A DA TRUE MASTER-A OF EVERYTHING AND COOKA DA PIZZA, AAAAAAAAAAAAYYE ! » and our mission is to create the team and kick the motherfucker's ass. Also, the shitface your Gomasu guy has as an assistant, yeah. Apparently, he used… something to steal Goku's body in the future and kill everyone because lol, how is it to be one of those loser nihilists ? Dipshit. »
« Is she always that vulgar ?, Whis asked.
« Yes, Ficboy responded.
« You wanted that or the sex joke I had in mind about our auras ? Tread carefully, my guy. Though, if it made you uncomfortable, well, that's why no one calls me an hyaena. »
« But yes, the other author resumed, even if the way I decided who to pick is inaccurate, it's why we decided to create the Multiverse Warriors. Zamasu & DIO are mad and dangerous men but they're not the only ones with nefarious intentions. In fact, you would be wrong to assume that I'm talking about people threatening the 13 universes only. I'm talking about threats way beyond those ones. The Multiverse is vast, in fact, if you asked me how many Earths exist here, I couldn't give you an exact number. Which also means that I couldn't give you the exact number of villains ready to unleash their vile plans. Those mad people must be fought and that's the Warriors' raison d'etre ! I know and have been an admirer of Son Goku and his exploits for years and years and I know he would be a strong fit for this team. »
The trio nodded their heads.
« The concept of other universes, Shin said, is far from being unknown to us, we certainly know about it. However, Earths beyond our ones ? That's certainly a news. Tell me, since how long have you known about it ? And us, for that matter ? »
« Oh, Ficboy said, that's… a more private thing but believe me, we have learned so many things about this plane of reality before creating those avatars – author avatars, we call this – and exploring it by ourselves. It's a knowledge we have since a long time ! »
Nods, again.
« I have to admit, Beerus said, that with all those new informations, such a team would be sorely needed, yes. It still doesn't excuse the trespassing, but I can at least admit that your appearances were deceptive. »
« No offense taken. Is it possible for us to see Goku ? We would like to announce all of this to him in person. »
« No need, Shin said. We will take care of this business, so you can go faster with your current endeavours. Plus, I don't doubt that we will meet again. »
Pighead couldn't help but let out a satisfied sigh. At least, they gave me that, thank God.
« Very well, the Pilot responded. We shall leave, then. Thank you for having given us a bit of your time. »
The Meddler immediately opened a portal once the other author finished.
« Yeah, she said, everything he said, blahblahblah, really cool, we have business, thanks for saving us time. WOAH KENNY ! »
She jumped into it. Two seconds of silence followed.
« Farewell. We shall, indeed, meet again. »
Ficboy did another bow then went into the portal before it closed down, leaving the three deities alone.
« Something is wrong, said Beerus after some seconds.
« About what, exactly ? »
« Those two. It's very strange that they're mere mortals and yet, when I'm looking at them, there's something… off. I don't really know how I could describe it. »
« Something that makes you think that their existence should be impossible and yet, here they are ?, Whis responded. You're not alone in that, I felt the same. It would back up their claims on coming from a different plane of reality. »
« Yes, Shin seconded. While I have no reason to doubt that they are mortals or look like that, at the very worst, such auras… and such a feeling is definitely something that I would have a hard time explaining. It's not something that I would definitely categorize as menacing, but more like we just got visited by creatures beyond our understanding. Plus, this Meddler is… »
« Extremely loud, obnoxious, annoying & taking nothing seriously ? »
« Well, yes, that too, Beerus. But it's not what I noticed. The Pilot, I don't doubt that his goals are motivated by the genuine goodness of his heart. At least, he hasn't gave us a reason to think the opposite. But this woman makes me feel uneasy. Looking at her, it gave me the feeling of looking inside… »
« Something evil ? »
« Not exactly, Whis. More like looking into an abyss. Something very dark and deep, something that might have no end and something that is definitely inhospitable. »
Shin's colleagues nodded. That was a good way to put it.
« So, what should we do ?, Beerus asked.
« We'll do as we told the Pilot. Clearly, the creation of this team seems to mean something important to him. I'll say that we keep our mouths shut about our suspicions concerning the Meddler and we act only if she goes out of line in our presence. She doesn't seem like someone with the most peaceful temper, so we'll have to tread very carefully if we see her again. »
This was the last thing any of the three ever said before they decided to go back to the Sacred World of the Kai.
If they had been more careful, they would have noticed the person with a grey hoodie, dark baggy pants and red shoes who was looking at them and could only nod her head at the words they said.
« Yeah… « not the most peaceful temper » is a good summary, yep. »
That's all! As always, here's some notes:
- I... am very late on everything related to anime and manga. I like informing myself and learning about it, plus there was a time where I was borrowing volumes of One Piece to my little bro, but for the rest, I am very late on all of that stuff. Which includes the Dragon Ball franchise. What I'm saying is that I used TVTropes to actually learn more about the whole Goku Black thing.
- Speaking of TVTropes, you might notice that Pighead did a reference to how Zamasu was portrayed in the Trope Pantheons (if you don't know, it's people on the site who went "Hey, what if the world was entirely running on tropes, who would be the Gods and Goddesses to it?" and created a whole lore about it, it's super-fun to look at). Canonically, every time he's mentioned in the context of the Trope Pantheons, he always bitches about something, is condescending about someone and no one likes him because he's just an entitled asshole and a hypocrite of the highest caliber, totally unlikeable. Thought it would be fun to mention that. Also, unrelated, but I have hopes to integrate the Pantheon in the IC Multiverse and mention it in a story or an Addendum. Would be super-fun but I just need to find something that clicks.
- Speaking of unlikeable people, I really, really hope you wanted to punch Pighead in the face after this chapter. It was basically me slowly indulging in "How can I spend an entire chapter seeing her at her most apathetic and disinterested?". It was fun! Also, mystery person here at the end again! Don't worry, their identity will be revealed quite fast, I don't want to drag this on for long.
- Speaking of authors, I want to just talk a bit about a detail that I'm trying to work since I started collaborating to IC and that's the way the authors, in-universe, are perceived by the characters. You see this trope called "Humans Are Cthulhu", basically? The Monks are under this trope. Whether it's Michael, Ficboy, L17' or even me, the authors all look, sound and are humans. However, since they come from the plane of reality above the one where the characters we follow live, it leads the characters to fundamentally perceive them as if there's something off with them.
Not to perceive them as monsters or evil creatures, actually, you saw multiple examples throughout the series that it's not that! It's that if you are a character in IC and you look at one of the Monks, you'll be more like "Wait... what the fuck are you supposed to be? Like, there's no way you would be able to exist and yet, you're here. Do you even come from here?". Like, you would feel that there's something more than meets the eye and you can't make up your mind on if it's a good or a bad thing. What you can be sure of is that messing with them might be a very bad idea. It's an idea I'm working in my plots since Day One, I tried to imply it with things like Missy being resurrected and looking at Weyer... and now, I feel stupid for not having included it in the writing guide. Might do that for the AO3 rerelease.
(oh, and last thing, all the things I just talked about are even worse for Pighead, for reasons that I will not state because I want to keep the important reveals for myself)
- The "WOAH KENNY!" Pighead utters at the end is the producer tag of Kenny Beats. Listen to UNLOCKED, the collab project he made with Denzel Curry, or the self-titled album of Vince Staples if you want short, great tastes of the sort of stuff he produces.
And I think that's all! It's a new year, new projects are still cooking, the AO3 rerelease of This Beautiful Mess We Made will be on its way soon... and I hope you'll be here for that.
Peace, y'all.
