Kim Jong Un was shopping at some fucking random store in North Korea, when he found a copy of his favorite video game, Sonic the Hedgehog.

"Boy oh boy, this looks like a swell time" said Kim Jong Un to himself before dropping the video game into his shopping cart.

Kim then went over to the checkout line before scanning it. The cashier then said "one copy of Sonic the Hedgehog, that will cost you 50 cents."

Kim Jong Un glared at the cashier with a murder in his eyes. The cashier then nervously said "ok, 40 cents."

Kim Jong Un continued not saying anything. He just continued giving that glare as the cashier said "20 cents?"

Kim's glare got even more serious as the cashier said "ok its free! Please don't hurt me!"

Kim then happily put the game in his pocket and began to leave the store. Before he left though, he looked at one of the many guards surrounding him, and made head cutting motions with his hands while gesturing to the cashier.

Immediately several guards grabbed the cashier while he yelled "NO, NOOOOOOOOOO!"

Kim Jong Un then went home to enjoy his new video game.

Kim Jong Un came home and pulled out his fucking Sega Genesis. He put the game in, grabbed some Caprisun, and plopped himself on his couch, prepared to have a good time.

The normal title screen for Sonic showed up, but instead of Sonic doing his classic finger wagging pose, the notorious video game mascots from the X-Rated porno Action 52, The Cheetahmen, showed up instead!

"WHAT DA FUCK IS THIS?" yelled Kim Jong Un.

"You gonna get raped son" said one of the Cheetahmen before reaching through the TV and pulling Kim Jong Un in.

"NOOOOO! I AM KIM JONG UN, THIS CAN'T BE HAPPENING TO MEEEEEEEEEEEEEE"

Kim Jong Un now stood in a new world, but this wasn't the world he was used to, rather, this was the planet Mobius from his favorite video game series, Sonic the Hedgehog.

"Woah" said Kim Jong Un to himself.

Kim Jong Un then noticed that he was no longer human, he was now a green hedgehog with blue shoes and white gloves.

"Wicked" said Kim Jong Un.

Suddenly, the Cheetahmen jumped out of the bushes and attacked the leader of North Korea.

Apollo, Hercules, and Aries (yes, the Cheetahmen have actual names. Its in the comic that came with the game) began beating the absolute tar out of Kim Jong Un while the leader of North Korea was helpless to stop them.

Apollo was hitting Kim with a can of Strawberry Dr Pepper, Hercules hit Kim with a rolled up Playboy Magazine, while Aries was hitting with his gargantuan ballsack. It was even more brutal than all of the fight scenes in the Deathstalker movies.

Then Kim remembered a technique that was taught to him by his father back when he was a kid.

"SUPER FIST OF THE SWEAT SHOP: MARCH OF THE ARMY OF CHILD SLAVES!" yelled Kim Jong Un.

As he uttered this, over one thousand mindbroken children came and began beating up the Cheetahmen, allowing Kim Jong Un to get away without the Action 52 mascots noticing.

Suddenly, the iconic red echidna, Knuckles grabbed Kim Jong Un and pulled him into a small shack.

"You're safe now" said Knuckles

Kim Jong Un began squealing in delight at seeing Knuckles in the flesh.

"I love you Knuckles. I've had so many so many children in my country taken to slave camps for chuckling, since unlike Sonic, you don't do any of that filthy chuckling."

Knuckles smiled at that remark before saying "I know we just met, but there's something I find really attractive about you."

Kim Jong Un and Knuckles looked into each other's eyes lovingly, before they embraced one another and began locking lips.

Kim's tongue entered Knuckles mouth like a deadbeat dad who wants to visit his kid at school while being unaware that his kid is actually a 95 year old prostitute, and Knuckles moaned like Nikocado Avocado when chomping a new bucket of KFC.

Knuckles then bent over Kim Jong Un, and instead of sticking his dick in his ass, he pulled out a can of Old Spice Body Spray and shoved it up the leader of North Korea's ass.

Kim Jong Un moaned in delight, pleasing Knuckles. Knuckles then pulled out a can of sprayable Oxi Clean and shoved that up Kim Jong Un's ass too.

Kim Jong Un once again moaned in delight before Knuckles decided to begin doing some anal fisting. Everytime he fisted Kim Jong Un, a cartoon sound effect straight out of Tom and Jerry would play.

As Kim Jong Un felt himself about to cum, Knuckles pulled out the sex toy to end all sex toys and placed it on his right hand.

The Power Glove

Knuckles inserted this holy artifact into Kim Jong Un's ass and Kim felt himself about to go to Heaven as Knuckles thrusted his fist in and out of the dictator's asshole.

Kim Jong Un immediately came and the Power Glove was so holy that Kim's cum was colored like gold.

"Thank you lover" said Kim to Knuckles.

"Anytime, now let's go and take down the Cheetahmen" said Knuckles

The two lovers then highfived before going to go and fight the Action 52 mascots to the death.

The Cheetahmen had now killed all 1000 of the children that Kim Jong Un summoned to fight them and were now currently slaughtering all of the inhabitants of Mobius because they are super meanypants.

Kim yelled "CHEETAHMEN! WE'RE CALLING YOU OUT!"

The Cheetahmen stopped killing the woodland creatures before one of them said "so, it seems like you've come back for round two?"

Kim Jong Un said "yes, I'm here to wipe you from this world, once and for all."

All three Cheetahmen laughed before one said "and what makes this attempt different from the last one?"

Kim Jong Un smirked and triumphantly said "because I have been anally fisted with the Power Glove!"

The Cheetahmen just fell silent after hearing that.

No one said anything for five minutes. The environment was dead silent as the three furry mascots were trying to figure out what the fuck he just said.

Finally, Hercules spoke up and said "wut?"

Knuckles jumped out of the bushes and said "ready partner?"

Kim Jong Un said "you know it."

Knuckles then pulled out his trademark weapon, a bowling ball, while Kim Jong Un pulled out his iconic weapon, a can of SpaghettiOs.

The Cheetahmen then pulled out their trademark weapons too, flip-flop shoes, before rushing our heroes.

Kim Jong Un, Knuckles, and the Cheetahmen began fighting each other, hand to hand, and our iconic heroes were actually managing to do pretty well against these game mascots.

Aries screamed as Kim pulled out a fruit by the foot, wrapped it around his neck, before punching him off a cliff, causing the first Cheetahman to be hanged.

Hercules yelled out in pain as Knuckles bashed him on the head with his bowling ball, before he slumped over, dead from brain damage.

Apollo yelled "YOU AIN'T GOING TO DO NOTHIN TO ME! CHEETAHMEN NEVER DIE YOU HEAR ME? CHEETAHMEN NEVER DIE!"

Kim Jong Un responded to this by pulling the pin on his SpaghettiOs can and throwing it at the Cheetahman.

The can then exploded in a bright blast of noodly goodness, taking Apollo with it.

Kim Jong Un said "wow, that was a hard fight."

Knuckles said "yeah, I didn't think we were going to make it."

Kim Jong Un and Knuckles then looked at each other once again, before they immediately started going down on each other once again.

And you know what? Fuck it, Raven from Teen Titans was there too, and Kim Jong Un and Knuckles doubleteamed her because they were just awesome that way.

As Kim Jong Un had sex with Knuckles and Raven, he saw his father, Kim Jong IL giving him a thumbs up from Heaven.

Kim Jong Un flashed a thumbs up back before continuing to passionately making love.

This fanfic has been brought to you by North Korean sweatshops.