"Joker, say it" I order.
"No, I am not doing it" the pilot's crossed arms and turned head, stubbornly refusing to cooperate.'
"He'll appreciated it" I said.
"I'm not signing twinkle twinkle little star to a fern!"
My hand gestures to the collection of lights right in front of us "This is the absolute best time for that song and don't call him a fern. It's offensive to minorities" I said.
Flabbergasted, Joker asks "How?"
"I don't know, but it's the only way to get people to do the right thing these days. Please Joker?" I hold the tree in front of my lips and give him the puppy eyes.
EDI offers to sing.
"No, we want Joker to do it" I speak for all trees in my hands.
"I'm not doing it. Besides It's mission time. I can see Miranda in the rear-view mirror" My attention on caring for my adopted gymnosperm son distracted me from the Australian woman coming up. Shepard and Tali trail behind her.
"Hey Tali. We're heading out. How are things with your dad?" I don't know if I should be asking.
"Terribly. It has been hard ever since my mother passed, but now… he crossed a line. Can I join? I need to get away from the ship for a while" Tali said.
Shepard comments "that's very uncharacteristic of you. Are you feeling, ok?"
Tali folds her arms "No. I'm pissed at my father and need space."
"While I know this mission is an excuse for you to get out of the Normandy, I appreciate your assistance. I feel like this is a big ask on my part, especially since we don't see each other very much." Miranda said.
"Stop that, Miranda. Yeah, I was skeptical when I met you, but now we've known each other long enough to call you, my friend. You are the hardest working and most loyal woman I know. She's a different person when Cerberus isn't in the way. I wish we had girls' night more often. She's fun when off duty."
I ask "truly?"
"Yes. We love watching old human films. Wait, weren't those new to you during your first lifetime? Any recommendations?" Tali asked.
"Signs by M. Night Shyamalan is my all-time favorite. I hope this universe has it" That movie got me through hard challenges in my life. It made me believe all the bad stuff I went through was for a good reason.
"I'll see if it's available and invite you to movie night if it is" Tali said.
Miranda gets close to me "Again, I can't thank you enough for helping me and my sister."
I replied "No problem. I just want to see a younger and prettier Miranda in person. Your genetically modified spurious butt better be grateful I'm helping."
Tali gasps. "I can't believe you just said that!"
Miranda looks her way "Why? What is spurious?"
"Take it as a compliment." please!
"The translators are not always accurate, but in quarian language It means fake" my head cocks to the side and looks at the quarian who's father's life I just saved with the most guilt-tripping look of betrayal. Miranda tries desperately to cause physical pain, which is halted by a psychic barrier.
"Tali, why would you do that? One of the ways I screw with people is using words almost no one knows. It's how I'm supposed to get away with saying horrible things and not hurting the other's feelings" Miranda's biotic blasts tickle.
Shepard abates the DNA tampered woman "save your energy for the mission. We might need it."
"I'm just along for the ride. You can do whatever you want" I put Mr. Bonsai away.
Miranda asks "You're not going to interfere?"
"Nope"
Shepard asks "Are you going to nudge us in the right direction?"
"No"
Tali asks "are you going to convince us to make a certain choice?"
"Nada. You guys have free reign."
The puzzled trio exchange looks.
Shepard asked "You're seriously not going to do whatever it is that you do?"
"There is no point. Relax and let's have fun and enjoy the drama" I smile.
"Oh-uh, Ok? I guess we're off. We need to meet a contact at Eternity. An asari named Lanteia. Is that the friend you mentioned? Miranda asks.
"No."
Shepard asks "Is 'no' all you can say today?"
"No"
"We should leave, commander. Tali, please keep an eye on him."
Huhugh, Shivers. I missed it when asari were decent looking. The room is small, white, a large blue circle within a large white one with an "eternity" logo at the southwest portion. A lavender asari is leaning against a wall. The doors behind us close then she speaks.
"Miss Lawson, I'm glad you made it out. We've had a complication" The huckleberry colored asari stands up.
Miranda worryingly says "what happened? Is Oriana all right?"
The asari replies "she's fine, but… you listed a man named Niket as your trusted source? He contacted me. Warning that your father has sent Eclipse mercenaries to make a sweep. He suggested that the mercs might take be watching for you personally. He's offered to escort Orian's family to the terminal instead."
Shepard comments "you didn't mention anything about Niket."
"He's a friend. He and I go back a long way…" Miranda connects the dot then stares me down. I'm busy looking at the music selection. They have the soundtrack from the elcor hamlet show but not Imagine dragons?
"Do you want to bring in any of your other alien contacts, Miss Lawson?"
"You and Niket are the only two I trust on this" Ouch my feel feels.
"What other information do you have about the mercenaries?" Shepard asks.
"I've confirmed they are Eclipse and are working for an organization Miss Lawson used about. I could alert the authorities, but so far, they've done nothing illegal" the asari dressed in all black says.
Miranda replies "You made the right decision. We'll handle this ourselves."
Shepard asks "It's your sister Miranda. What do you want to do?"
"Lanteia, we'll follow Niket's suggestion, Shepard and I will take the car and draw their attention" Miranda said.
I ask "Can I drive? I'm great at flying." My skills better transfer into a flying vehicle.
Miranda shuts me down "I don't think so. Have Niket escort the family to the shuttle. Give him full access to the family itinerary, just to be safe."
"Understood Miss Lawson."
Shepard sarcastically suggests "So your plan for us to get shot down by Eclipse while your sister gets to safety?"
"If you let me drive, I can guarantee I'll come back. The flying car not so much" let me drive the flying death machine!
Miranda denies my second chance to crash something into a planet. First Wrex with the asteroid and now this? "No! Eclipse will be under orders to take my sister alive. They won't risk anything that could kill us."
I comment "Well that could be anything with me around."
Tali politely asks for me to stop it. I whisper back "but isn't it kind of fun know you know what I mean? I drove Kaiden crazy with this. Hehehe."
"Is that why his migraines got worse?" Shepard asked. "Never mind we need to go."
Shepard and Miranda come up with a plan while we walk to the skycar. Yeah, good call on not letting me drive, or fly. It's a beautiful vehicle. It should get a chance to live and be happy. Unfortunately, the paint job is ruined by a couple of shots from mercs under us. Shepard no longer giving a damn scrape the underside with a hard landing. The Eclipse Mercs have their weapons drawn while I stretch my back. The back of those cars is cramped.
Miranda confidently walks to the leader "since you're not firing yet, I trust you know who I am."
"Yeah. They said you'd be in the car. You're the bitch that kidnapped our boss' little girl" His yellow light armor looks really stupid in real life.
"Kidnapped? This doesn't involve you. I suggest you take your men and go." Miranda said.
I comment "she's right. I can kill you all."
"I like that one's bravo. Think you got it all lined up huh? Captain Enyala is already moving in on the kid. She knows about Niket. He won't be helping you."
"What do you mean Niket won't be helping?" Shepard asks.
"Nothing you need to worry about. Nobody is going to get killed unless you do something stupid. You walk away now, the girl goes back to her father, and everybody's happy."
"Everybody but my sister… and me" you mean you're not already unhappy?
Shepard is feeling generous "I'm giving you one chance to leave. That's more than most get."
"Captain Enyala ordered us to give you one chance to walk away. But this whole time we've been talking my men have been lining up shots. When I say the word, we unleash hell on your squad-" Shepard headbutts the ring leader. Miranda fires repeatedly at a moving crate above a couple mercs. Oh Renegade interruption. I use my pistols to eliminate the snipers. These mercenaries make the weirdest death noises. The battle is short lived, and I let Miranda take the lead.
"Shepard, I owe you an explanation. ********* must already know this and are you recording his reaction with a phone?" Miranda glares at me.
"This is good entertainment." I record the special stuff here.
"I'm choosing to ignore that. Oriana is my twin, genetically. But my father… grew her when I was a teenager. She was meant to replace me, and I couldn't let my father do to her what he did to me. So, I rescued her. She's almost a woman now."
Out of curiosity I ask "How mature is she? At my age it is more of a mentality thing rather than an age thing." The two of them are ignoring me. Smart move to be honest.
Shepard annoyed, asks "Why didn't you tell me we were saving a kid?"
"She's not a child. She'll be 19 this year…" Eeeewwww.
Shepard said "I can understand choosing to go your own way, but you stole a young child from her father."
Miranda turns away "If you knew my father you would understand. I wasn't the first he made. I was the only one he kept. I was brought up with no friends, pushed to meet impossible demands. I wasn't a daughter to him. I was… I don't know what I was. Oriana has had a normal life. I made the right decision."
Tali asks me "what do you think *********?"
"Not my place to decide" my biases of wanting a normal childhood and life are clouding my judgment. Besides, what's done is done.
Shepard says "let's focus on Niket. It sounds like he is in trouble."
Miranda replies "If they got to Niket somehow this is going to be harder than I planned. According to the specs I reviewed, we'll need to cut through the cargo processing yard to go to Oriana."
Shepard asks for any information to develop a strategy. Miranda warns there will be a lot of movement and hazard materials so watch what we shoot at.
Shepard comments "I hope your friend can be trusted."
Miranda assures the commander "Absolutely. Niket is one of my oldest friends. I guess you could say he was my only real friend. He's the only person I didn't cut ties with when I left my father."
Shepard asks "Is there a chance your father could be using Niket to get to you?"
"I'm sure he tried. But Niket's one of the few people who understands what my father is really like. I trusted him with my life when I ran from my father. He won't betray me now."
Shepard nods. "Let's find Niket and Oriana."
The convery line is between us and the enemies. I stay back and watch Shepard closely. I noticed with each mission; he becomes less cautious in a good way. Shepard's near-death experience has him terrified of repeating said event. Something I can relate to. When I returned to the Normandy, Shepard wouldn't let his shield deplete even halfway. Now he's acting like his old self. If the shield pops and the situation allow for a hit, he will poke out and finish the opponent, or opponents with hitting explosive canisters. Why does it feel so satisfying to use the environment to our advantage?
The earbud from a fallen merc is loud enough for Miranda to hear "Niket has reached the terminal. He'll switch the family over to our transport."
Miranda in disbelief "Niket? But.. that can't be right."
Tali hacks into the elevator.
Miranda suggests "Maybe the captain knows we are listening in and she's feeding us misinformation about Niket making a switch. Or maybe it means something else. Niket wouldn't do that. Damn it. Why won't this thing go faster?" she punches the display.
Tali says "the elevators are only designed to go a certain speed for safety reasons."
Shepard asks "What makes you so sure Niket wouldn't turn on you?"
Miranda replies "He could have turned on me when I ran away. I'm sure my father tried to buy him off. He didn't do it then, why would he do it now? *********?"
"NOPE" I fold my arms.
Shepard feels the need to insult me. "He's relentlessly stubborn like the old man he is. We aren't going to extract anything from him. Did Niket know you took Oriana away from your father?"
"No, he just found out about it recently. It was too personal to involve someone else. I never really thought about it, but maybe… no. He'd have to understand why I did it. He knows what I went through."
Shepard said. "We won't know anything until we find Niket."
"And then I'll have a word with this captain Enyala." Miranda leads the way. It is a brisk walk until we come to the door. On the other side is Niket. A dark haired man dressed in brown similar to age in Miranda. Next to him are two asari in Eclipse armor. Yellow and blue is not a good combo.
"Miri" he said.
I smack myself "MIRI! Why didn't I think of that."
"Don't you dare" Miri said.
"This should be fun" She points her weapon at us. The other asari runs away and is shot before she can make ten paces.
"Niket, you sold me out" Miri says.
Shepard asks "how do you want to handle this, Miranda?"
Miranda tearfully asks "Why Niket? You were my friend. You helped me get away from my father!"
He replies "Yes! Because you wanted to leave. That was your choice. But if I'd known that you'd stolen a baby-"
"I didn't steal her I rescued her!"
"From a life of wealth and happiness? You weren't saving her! You were getting back at your father!"
"Come on Niket. Let's finish this bitch and get out of here" the yellow asari said.
Miri says "take your best shot."
"I was just waiting for you to finish getting dressed. Or does Cerberus really let you whore around in that outfit?" Enyala said. Isn't her outfit somewhat modest? Sure, it's skintight, but there isn't much skin exposed.
Shepard mentions "Whether or not you agree with Miranda or not, Oriana has been with her family for years now."
Niket replies "Her father can still give her a better life."
I said "Don't confuse momentarily dopamine releases from physical objects being better than love and support."
Shepard realizes "If Niket knows about Oriana so does your father. Relocating her won't work."
Niket said "Miranda's father has no information about Oriana. I knew you had spy programs in your father's systems. Miri so I kept it private. I'm the only one who knows."
Miranda says "Which means that you're the only loose end. This isn't how I wanted it to end Niket. I'm going to miss you" Shepard forces her gun away.
"Miranda wait. You don't want to do this."
"This has to end here Shepard. My father will keep trying to find Oriana."
Tali says "********* do something."
"On it!" I pull out my omni tool and press record.
Shepard suggests "Maybe Niket can help… talk to your father. Just say you got here first."
Niket, clearly full of guilt, says "I'll… I'll tell him that you hid her. That I don't know where she is."
Enlaya says "I get paid either way. Just hurry this sappy crap up."
Miranda threatens her childhood friend "Why shouldn't I use my biotics and rip out your spine. You went behind my back. So I'll take yours."
Shepard says "Miranda you don't want to do this. ********* say something."
I reply. "No point. This doesn't affect anything important. Do what you want. Tali, how do I zoom in?"
Tali's glare is activating my spider sense.
"Fine. Look Nicky, why exactly did you tell Miri's father about Oriana before going to her first?"
"I suppose I wanted to make things right. I took a child away from her father. The guilt was eating me up inside." he said.
"So, because you had an upset tummy you thought you should send Oriana back to that monster!" Miranda's biotics are flaring up. Captain Enyala does as well. Miri's aura is clearly stronger.
"I wasn't thinking. I'm sorry Miri" He gets down on his knees.
I said "Miranda I think he just wanted to do the right thing and didn't have all the information. You could have told him everything but didn't and that is on you. If you want to kill one of the only people you trust, go on ahead. I'm letting you know I will edit this to be black and white and send you a clip looping killing Niket. It's going to be repeating in your mind anyways. Might as well make it look like a vintage movie. Enyala please move back, you are in the shot." she actually did it.
Miri thinks for a moment. Her arm tenses. She gets close and points the gun against his temple. "If you ever pose a threat to Oriana's safety, I'll make you regret it. Leave Niket. We are done here."
Enyala puts her weapon away and slaps Niket's head "come on boyscot, we're out of her."
Niket slowly stands up and apologies once more. Miranda has murder in her eyes. Man if I wasn't immortal she would be scary.
"Is this how things went in the game?" Miri asks.
"I don't know" This mission was too much talking and not enough shooting. The explosives were fun though.
Miri gleefully looks at her younger sister "There she is. She's safe… with her family."
...
...
...
"Come on. We should go" Miri says.
"Don't you even want to say hello?" Shepard asked.
"It's not about what I want. It's about what's right for her. The less she knows about me the better." Miri looks downwards. "She's got a family, a life. I'll just complicate that for her."
Shepard mentions "She doesn't need any details. But would it really be so bad for her to know she has a sister who loves her?"
Miri staggers "no I guess not. ********* what should I do?"
I take a deep breath in and prevent the sadness from bubbling up. "I would give up anything to see my family again even for a moment. Don't throw away this opportunity" Tali surprises me and comfortingly holds my hand.
"Go on. We'll wait here" Shepard said. Miri looks so happy she can finally talk with her sister. Oriana looks so much like her. I met identical twins before, but this is something else entirely. I can't imagine how Oriana feels. She must think she is looking at her future self. Vicariously, I live through Miranda at this moment.
Tali tugs my hand to grab my attention. "Thank you for making sure I still have my family."
Slowly I turn to Shepard. I'm annoyed he did the one thing I asked him not to. He will pay for that. "I thought she should know."
Tali lets go of my hand. Her hand on her hip and angrily poking my chest "But don't you dare ever hurt my father again!"
"Did you know what he did?"
"I don't care you bosh'tet! He is my father, and I won't let you harm him again. Do I make myself clear?"
"I won't harm him unless he does something stupid."
"NO! Promise me you will never hit or slap or do anything physical to him at all."
"Errrghh! Fine. I promise my mother's soul I won't physically harm him again. Only my words will harm him. That is the best you are getting from me."
"Thank you *********. That is all I ask."
Miranda comes back. She looks at peace and Miranda looks back at her little sister. She softly smiles and asks me "*********, could you make it so I could have a child?"
RED FLAG. RED FLAGS EVERYWHERE. No crimson flag. Listen to the warning bells. This is like blood coming out of the family stalagmite bad. Please God I know I asked for help before, but I really need it. Wait… ahhh. God. Never mind you gave me an idea.
"Miranda. I am not judging you, however there are certain rules and well… you need to be a virgin to carry Christ. I didn't make the rules." Please end this conversation. Shepard is laughing his ass off.
"NO! I mean could you use your power to fix my ovaries. The genetic modification process left me sterile, Oriana on the other hand can. You said you could only duplicate what already exists in regard to healing. Could you copy her parts and replace mine?" Miranda explains.
That… that could work. I never tried that before. I still feel weird.
"If you can get her permission I will try" I said.
"Thank you *********. You won't regret this" Miri says. But you will. Hehehe.
Miri got Oriana's permission. She was given a tour while I prepared for the procedure. The examination will be done in Mordin's lab. I told him I would answer more questions if he left for fifteen minutes. Not a fair trade since he can go on and on for hours. Miri and Ori enter my space. I am wearing a lab coat, disposable mask, a hairnet, and yellow elbow length latex gloves. I hold my hands in front of my chest, pretending they are sterile. Oriana looks at me curious and Miranda's gaze is cautiously wondering what I am doing.
"Who is this? He's cute" Oriana makes me blush. Can we swap Miranda out for her?
"He's covered head-to-toe in medical clothes" Miranda is puzzled by her younger sister's reaction.
"I like his eyes. They are very bright. He seems young" she said. I like her so much better.
"Hello Oriana, I will be the one helping you and your sister. I appear young because I had a traumatic health experience and take great care of my health. I assure you I am experienced, and I am capable of performing my responsibilities adequately and professionally. Now I want you to sit on the table, lean back, pull down your pants, and let me examine your-"
"No, you won't *********" Miranda steps in between my patient and I.
I remind her "You wanted my help."
"You don't need that" wow she is very defensive when it comes to family.
"Are you qualified? Do you even have a medical degree"? The younger sister asks.
"My workplaces did not require a degree or certifications (helping ladies give birth during the Middle Ages. Got paid handsomely for making it painless). Now please pull down your pants and expose the pink canoe to sunshine" I gesture to her to get to it.
"No!" Miranda snarls.
"What is going on?" Oriana asks.
"He just wants to see your parts. He doesn't need or will for the procedure" Miranda lets the cat out of the bag.
"I didn't say anything that was not true" thank God the mask hides my smile.
"Really?" Miranda raises an eyebrow and places her hand on her hip.
"Heyyy, a lot of people want to know" I said.
"Just get to it. And no funny stuff" Miranda said.
"FINE!" I enjoy toying with her. I walk over to Oriana and grasp her waist with my hands. An adorable squeak. Miranda eyes me. I stop and lean back. She nods to continue. I use my thumbs to feel the areas around the ovaries and collect a template of the energy there. Now for a cover story. I pull out a vibrating device from my pants.
"Is that?" I interrupt Miranda before she has a chance to finish.
"YES" It is Garrus's tooth sharpener with the blades removed. I run it along Oriana's toned stomach. She will think it is a scanning device. I am finished. "Make sure to get a sucker on the way out. Not the orange ones. They belong to me. Before I go Miranda, I'm not the best at understanding how women's hormones work and I never tried this before, please monitor your behavior for personality changes and let Chakwas now ASAP. We can do your part switcheroo afterwards. I'll leave you to bond with your sister" Now time for me to exit. I throw my gloves and harinet on the floor. The door opens and I take my leave, not before seeing Garrus walking by. I speak loud enough for Miranda to hear.
"Hey Garrus, guess what I got to see. Also, here is this back. Wash it thoroughly before use."
