This… has been… a very weird day. Everyone is acting super clingy. ********* what are your plans for today. Hi ya buddy can you do this for me? It is super important, and you'll make it ten times easier. Yadadyadayada. Ever since I made breakfast, something is always calling for my attention. Not even a minute to message Wrex. Thankfully he is doing very well last time I spoke to him. Currently, I'm in the AI core room with Legion. A long gaming session led to having time to kill and he asked me to help modify his emotion emulation code. I never programmed a robot, so communication is difficult. I'm only here to help Legion construct a better emulation of the emotional generators and trenches in an organic body. If only he could see what I could. We've been trying for three hours. I'm getting pooped. We'll try again another day.

"Wait… we need your assistance" Legion grabbed my shoulder. His cold fingers wrap rightly around my clavicle.

I returned with irritated eyes "you will kindly remove your hand." He wisely let's go. I sense fear brewing in him.

"Relax, I'm not going to do anything, but don't ever try to control me again. Got it?"

"We apologize. We have a question." Legion said.

"Huhh. Only one today. What is it?" I'm getting really tired of everyone bugging me today. One thing after another, someone needs me right then and there. Zaheed to fix his guns. Miranda had me teleport to the Illusive man to hand deliver sensitive documents, then he wanted help changing a light bulb. Whoever designed his room did not plan it out very well. Even a lift wouldn't have gotten high enough. Then Legion wanted an emotion training session. He really wants a soul and believes altering his code will expedite its arrivial. No idea if it works but I feel bad for my lightweight aluminum composite pal.

"We… feel… saddened" Legion said. The way his energy flows doesn't support his claim, but he might be misinterpreting his emotions. Young people tend to do that.

I ask "Why what happened? Did someone do something I should make them regret?"

"No. This platform was designed to live amongst organics. To learn. New data suggests we are unable to acquire information with current configurations. We can't feel like an organic can. There are things we never will experience and that saddens us. We wish to know." Legion said.

"Oh Legion. I think I understand where you are coming from. There are things I want to know to but can't. It hurts. It's called envy."

"It is not envy. We do not wish to have what others possess. We only wish to have the data of the experience to plan our choices ahead."

I ask "plan for what?"

"We fear making the wrong choice and being pulled to the nadir as you call it." Legion said. The lowest vibrational plane in the multiverse. A very bad place to get pulled down to.

"Oh. As long as you aren't evil if by some chance you do go there, I'll help pull you back up. It's hard but not impossible. Our people help suicides up if we think they are worthy. I don't want to be rude, but I need some solitude. To use our commander's favorite phrase… I should go. I really need to talk to him. See you soon Legion." I walk out of the AI core room. Chakwas gets up from her chair, about to ask me something when I stop her. "Not today."

Forming consensus. Alert crew members of *********'s absence. Unanimous approval from all geth programs. Shepard Commander requests ********* attention to be elsewhere.

"********* is leaving the AI core. This platform can no longer distract him. Someone please stop him."

Jack's voice comes through the group's comms.

"I got something I'm heading up."

"Hey lightbulb" Jack waves me down.

"Lightbulb?" That is a new nickname.

"Yeah, because you light up or whatever you do. Listen buckethead dater, I need your help."

"Don't refer to Tali like that. Ugh... Everyone does today. What is it?" I ask, no longer hiding my irritated energy. A man has his limits.

"Check this out" Jack astonishes me. She is able to effortlessly levitate in the air. It took me years to learn antigravity and she does it like it's nothing. My jealous mandible falls to the freshly waxed floor which I did because Sarge is sick.

"Pretty cool right? I barely have to use my biotics. Any tips to help me with doing what you do? Light up like you?"

"Oh well I could but there is a lot of stuff you should learn first. The other place is very sensitive to your energy levels and unsafe for an untrained mind. The slightest dark thought can attract negativity and snowball. Besides, it's harder than it looks and takes time. Becoming energy makes you hot and I mean very hot. You need to use your energy more efficiently otherwise you could accidentally roast yourself."

"Oh shi… crap. Kinda wanted to see the Apogee. Well at least help me out with my chest. I got something stuck and can't get it out."

"Let me look. Take a deep breath in and expand your ribcage. Hmmm. Oh I see. Your muscles there are tightened and by the looks of it, for a very long time. Usually a symptom of stagnant energy. Unfortunately, with the area and depth, stretching won't work" I said.

Jack asks "How do I get it out?"

I ask "Are you willing to do an extended fast?"

She shakes her head "Nah uh."

"I didn't think so. Well, I have another idea, but you won't like it" I look away from her increasingly bright white eyes.

"Well don't just stand there spit it out already coppertop" she is so demanding.

"... forgiveness helps release trauma from your nervous system" I said.

"I'm not the forgiving type. Crack skulls with my hands yes but forgiveness? Really? Like an old childhood movie?

"I know how it sounds. My reaction was the same, but it does help. You'll feel better and lighter" I said.

Who would I even forgive?" Jack asked.

"Umm... Cerberus" I'm already regretting it.

"THE FUCK YOU SAY! Cerberus! The assholes who stole me from my parents, drugged me, abused me, force me to kill children for bets. You think I should forgive them?" Jack invades my personal bubble.

"... I know you don't like it or understand it but… yes. Please don't hurt me" I said.

"Why the hell would you suggest that!? Listen bucko these people are not our friends. We used them for the mission like they used me. They don't deserve forgiveness" Jack said.

"You're right they don't" I said.

"Then why should you even think about saying that?" Jack said.

"Because your soul deserves peace." I said.

".. you know what. You can go to hell. I don't need your magic hippy sage advice. I'm out of here" Jack turns and leaves. I call out for her, and she flips me the bird. It was too soon to give that lesson for her. I hope she doesn't waste all her progress. She was making strides. I remind myself I can only show the door, they have to step through it. I can rationalize all I want; the guilt still persists. I need a distraction. Cooking takes my mind off things. Maybe I can prepare fondue. I'm in the mood for it. I turn to the hall and faceplant into a krogan. "Sorry Grunt I didn't see you there."

"Can't you sense me?"

"It's not active all the time and I was distracted with myself. Excuse me, I got to go."

"Wait, I want to spare again. I have energy to burn and it's fun testing myself against the things you can become." Grunt cracks his knuckles.

"Another time." I gesture for Grunt to move.

"Grunt" I said. He steps aside. What is with everyone today? Beep. I pull out my omnitool and get a message from my girlfriend. She wants me to go to the engine core. Oh for the love of… as much as I like visiting my girlfriend at work… is this section of the galaxy a law of attraction super charged area? Why is everyone so fucking needy. I head down and see her. Take a deep breath, no low vibes around loved ones. Think of puppies and kitties getting snuggles. Oh, that is better.

"Hi sweetie. How is work?" I asked.

"Good" Tali said.

"Did you need something?" I asked.

"No. Why?" Tali asked.

"Because you get so caught up in your work a stomping krogan could sneak up on you. The only time you message me while on shift is if you need something" I said.

"Well.. today is different. I just wanted to see you" Tali said.

"Aww. I like it when you're clingy. It shows how much you care. Just don't go psycho stalker possessive" I said.

Ken says "Most of the women I've known were those."

Gabby says "your mom doesn't count."

Ken replies "see what I mean?" Can't even have a conversation without bringing up another woman I know."

"Tali can we ignore them?" I beg.

"I automatically tune it out at this point. How has your day gone so far?" Tali asked.

"Busy busy busy. Everyone wants me. The demand is high but supply short and no one wants to share. Can I hide here for a while?" I ask.

"Of course. You look tense. Take a seat" Tali steps closer and whispers into my ear "my lunch break is in twenty minutes. Meet me in the camper and have your meal ready."

"What you want that quarian dinner again?" I asked.

"No. I want you." Tali said.

"I am recharged and so ready to go" I know I shouldn't abuse those nerves, but I need stress relief and boy do I need it.

I feel dirty tricking my human boyfriend like this, but at least he is happy. I worked him until he passed out. That should by Shepard another hour and a half. I hope the commander is ok. A solo mission is out of character for him. No one has heard anything from him. Some of us are getting worried. It's probably just jitters. It is still hours until the status check from him. I better return to work. Oh, ancestors I hope Ken keeps his mouth shut about this.

That was the best nap ever. I reset into my pre oral configuration and sit up. Where is my purple pillow? Wait… there is a note on the door. "Had to return to work. Let's finish this when I get back. Sleep well. I Love you. 3."

"Oh, I am a spoiled rotten man. I love that woman." I lay back down on my bed. Something is gnawing at the back of my skull. What was I forgetting? Oh, right I need to talk to Shepard about my departure from the ship. I haven't told Tali my wish to live with her on the quarian fleet until we are recalled in the events of the third game. I should surprise her tonight. Ugh. Come on it is time to get up. I can do weighted sit ups at the gym, but the ones getting out of bed are always the worst. Hfff. Hphm. Aaaahhh. Ok five more minutes of cozyville.

15 minutes later.

Alright time to actually head up. I go to the first floor. I pass my Mordin and say hi. Haven't seen him much since our lab project was eaten by that monster. Thank the lord it wasn't after me. EDI informs me Jacob wants to see me real briefly. Last one I tell myself.

"Hello Jacob" my exhausted voice said.

"Uh Hey. Why did you say it like that?" he asked.

"I'm really tired. Is something wrong? Do you need something? Do you want me to do anything? I tell people I'm willing to help, but recently it is getting out of control. Why won't people do things themselves? I killed the communists to return autonomy to the people" Did I even use that word correctly?

"Bro, I get it but let's keep our frustrations bottled up when were in a room full of high-grade weapons and explosives." Point taken.

"Sorry my manners correlated with my willpower and being constantly pulled around drains it. EDI said you wanted to see me?"

"Yeah. I kinda.. Sorta… well…."

"Oh higher vibrational frequencies please say it!"

"Woah calm down bud. I wanted your advice. See Miranda and I have a good thing going on. A really good thing and since you helped her. Doors have opened." Jacob breaks eye contact.

"If you mean getting her better pink canoe parts and you forget to write an incredibly detailed and witty in-depth review for all to read… why are we talking about this?"

"I'm thinking about taking the next step with her but I'm afraid." His gamophobic chocolate hiney said.

"Afraid of what?" Should I even be involved in this discussion?

"Well, we never actually discussed this… but I want to start a family one day. The issue is with the reaper war. I don't want to bring a kid into this world only for it to end if we lose the war. Would it be inappropriate to ask if I should wait until we win, or would everything be ok if she were to become pregnant?" Jacob asked.

"OH! Wait are you two even engaged? I thought I would get a card in the mail?"

"I never asked or really had any plans to… but Miranda has been acting like she wants to be a mom and sooner rather than later. Doesn't want to risk giving this chance up. It's nuts." Jacob massages his temples.

"Baby rabies?" I asked.

"Yes. Does it ever go away?" Jacob asked.

"Everything here is to pass and nothing is here to stay" I said.

"I don't know. This just doesn't seem the right time." Jacob said.

"Listen to your gut. You'll get a sign if it is the right time" I said.

"Like what?"

"You'll find a hole and freak out. BTWs always check the packaging beforehand" I said.

"You're disgusting."

"This is really a conversation you and Miranda should be having."

"Yeah. Thanks for listening to me vent."

"Yeah yeah. Just remember I'm not everyone's emotional tampoon. Oh, I am getting cranky. I better head out. See you later Jacob."

"Thanks again."

"Guys I made up a bunch of stuff on the fly and ran out of ideas. ********* is going to find out very soon. Has anyone heard from the commander?"

"Negative" Legion said.

"No" Garrus said.

"I haven't" Tali said.

"Ah damn. EDI can you do something?"

"********* is currently talking with Kelly" Edi said.

Collectively "Oh no!"

"Hey Kelly. Got a sec?" I asked.

"For you? Of course." She flashes her patented friendly smile.

"Does the crew seem off to you today?" I asked.

"My duties have kept me at this terminal all day" Kelly avoids my question. My instincts are telling me something is going on.

"Kelly… the crew have been asking me for my assistance with such trivial and random things. Would you know why they are behaving so strangely?"

"No" she said with an unusually high pitch. I lean in ever so closer.

"Is my attention being drawn away from something?" I ask. Kelly breaks eye contact. Her vision balls concentrating really hard at the element zero toothbrush advertisement on her monitor.

"I-uh-um-I'm not sure what you mean" Kelly said.

"It is almost as if everyone is working hard to distract me from something or should I say someone" I said.

"I think you are having a paranoid episode" Kelly said.

'Is it paranoia when it's true?"

"Yes" Kelly said.

"Where is Shepard?" I ask.

"Shepard?" Kelly plays dumb.

"He is the only one who hasn't requested my time today. Do you know where he is?" I asked.

"Why don't you find out yourself?" Kelly suggests.

"He usually doesn't answer my messages back" I said.

"Well as you know, the commander is a very busy man. We all can't be retired energy beings life yourself" Kelly's breathing quickens.

"Not so much he can't talk to his favorite universe hopping pal. Is he in his office?" I ask.

"That would be the logical assumption" Kelly tries so hard not to lie.

"Shepard didn't use the interdimensional door to see Liara. I would have sensed a disturbance indicating it was used. Is Shepard even on the ship?" I asked.

"I don't keep track of the commander's location" Kelly said. I lean in so close, the pressure between us builds and builds and builds until she won't be able to handle it much longer.

"He's not on the ship is he" I said.

"NO! I can't do this. No he's not. He's on a mission and he asked everyone to keep you distracted while he is away." Kelly has been broken. she hides her face into the monitor. Another victory for the books.

"HA I KNEW IT! We're close to a batarian colony world aren't we?"

"Yes. I'm sorry guys I held out as long as I could." Kelly said.

She increases the volume on her monitor. I hear the voices of the friends who betrayed me.

Jacob said "Not your fault Kelly. We all knew you would break."

Tali said "for a therapist, you are surprisingly bad at keeping secrets."

Kelly said "I'm sorry. I can't help it. My mother said to never lie and would punish me harshly if I did. At least our therapy sessions are private at least. I pinky promise."

"TALI! You used my love for you to distract me! Shame on you."

"I'm sorry my cherished but Shepard asked me, and he really needed to do this by himself. The alliance admiral asked him personally for a favor and he can't refuse that. Please forgive me."

Joker said "we distracted him long enough. We're picking up Shepard immediately. Everyone buckle up, the mass relay is going to collide with a big ass meteor. It is going to explode. I repeat the mass relay is going to explode."

"What?" Miranda said.

"Are you serious?" Garrus said.

"Wait I want to see this. Heading up." Zaheed said.

"Who fucking cares" Jack said.

"Theoretical explosion of mass relay will eradicate nearby batarian colony world" Mordin said.

Joker said "No time for conjecture everyone get to your stations. Code red code red" Joker said.

I run to the cockpit. Out the windshield I see Shepard at the edge of the platform waving his gun in the air. As fast as we picked him up, the Normandy flew to the mass relay. We have minutes before the collision will take place.

"*********! I had no choice. The reapers are planning to use that relay to invade. I had no choice to destroy it. Listen the blast is going to kill colony world. Please use your abilities to save them."

"On it" I phase through the windshield and form the Lockhead SR-71 Blackbird. ACDC shoot to thrill fills the radio channel.

Shepard yells "This is no time for jokes *********. A plane isn't fast enough to-" a strange light pulses from the back of the plane, rocketing to speeds even the normandy can't reach.

"Guys I need directions where am I heading?" I asked.

"********* what are you planning to do?" Shepard asked.

"I'll form a shield around the planet and protect it from the blast but first I need to find it" I said.

EDI says "Providing directions to your omnitool."

I fly into the atmosphere of the planet. An orange glow creeps the perimeter of the glass. Intense speeds generate enough friction to burn the ship to dust, while I'm left unharmed. It takes a lot of energy but manage to form a green hexagonal pattern covering most of the planet. Oh boy the inhabitants are going to be telling stories about this for generations. Better go into light mode to hide my identity. Whoa, is this harder than I remember.

Mordin's frantic voice yells out loud enough to block the music. "It won't work. The ensuing radiation will pollute the star system, rendering it uninhabitable for thousands of years. ********* you'll have to collect all of it and dispose of it somehow."

"ARE YOU INSANE! Expanding outwards to meld with the planetary consciousness is one thing. A whole star system is another. Who even thinks of doing that?"

Mordin says "You don't need to do the entire system, only a substantial portion."

"MORDIN!"

Tali said "********* please try. Alot of people will die if you don't."

SHIT! Expanding to such a large size is incredibly risky. If I mess this up, the chance of dispersal is high. It's been a long time since I expanded in order to talk to Gaia, but I am a lot stronger than when I did that. Damn it I have to try.

"********* we passed through the relay. As soon as that thing blows, we'll lose contact" Shepard said.

"You all owe me HUGELY!" Oh holy fuckkkkkkkkk. The explosion of the mass relay releases a light so intense, even in my energy form it hurts to look at. Don't have much time before the explosion reaches the planet. Expansion will take all my focus, the planetary shield dissolves in the sky. My body assumes a mediation position. Focusing on the distance of my atoms, increase the distance. Grow bigger. Bigger than a tree, larger than a building, taller than a mountain, encompass the world. How did Buddha do this with an entire universe with his monkey piss-soaked fingers or so he claimed? I rapidly expand more and more and… and more. Oh, I forgot how disorienting this is. The… they uh um. The radiation gotta collect it all. Gotta catch' em all! AH this hurts. Being this large takes up so much energy. I can't harvest the blast wave, there is just too much. I have to concentrate it all. AAAHHHHHH this hurts. Come on, come together everyone. I squeeze everything I collect into a ball. Shit it is fighting back. Come on I can do this. Ah Damn it. Come on you little sucker. Stay together. Why do I do this to myself? These batarians are supposed to die. There is nothing saying I have to put myself through this.

NO! I AM NOT A QUITTER! I HAVE NEVER EVER GIVEN UP EVEN WHEN I WANTED TO! I AM THE STRONGEST BECAUSE I HAVE TO BE! I DON'T GIVE A DAMN HOW MUCH YOU FIGHT BACK! YIELD TO ME AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

It takes everything I had and more. That driving force inside me that never surrenders to anything proves itself once more. The intense pressure I generate caused the blast to form a miniature black hole. Same amount of mass generates the same amount of gravity. The former relay used to travel the stars now swallows the light from them, and too much energy. Whoa I have never been this drained. Wait… where am I. I'm tired. I want to go home…

The artificial intelligence warned me the ship is in imminent danger. I rush out of my living space to find my daughter. Tali is in the cockpit with the other members of Commander Shepard's team. Tali nervously spins her bracelet. My bondmate did the same to her betrothed necklace when I had to do the dangerous jobs.

I ask "Tali what is going on?"

She answers "You're not going to believe this. Commander Shepard had to destroy a mass relay."

I ask "What? How is that even possible?"

"I crashed a meteor into it" Shepard quickly said.

"ARE YOU INSANE! Radioactive element zero is one of the most dangerous materials in the known universe! Not to mention travel to this area will now takes months!" How could the council approve of this foolish human's choice.

"If I didn't the reapers would have come from dark space" he said.

"Oh… wait… Tali. Where is your current bondmate?" I ask.

"He should be here any moment. He is trying to minimize the damage to the batarian colony" Tali starts to bounce on her toes. A trait she inherited from me that I outgrew.

I ask "Can he do that?"

"He better. Alot of people are going to die if he doesn't" Joker said.

POP!

A small glowing ball appears in front of us. A pale green that fades into and out of existence. Similar to the artificial intelligence sphere. I never seen anything like it before, however something is telling me this thing is in extreme discomfort.

"I… I somehow did it" The voice of ********* pulses with every syllable. The crowd cheers. The aliens slap their hands together and the Krogan roars a victory song. The orb moves closer to Tali until it falls to the ground.

"*********?" she said.

"I-I'm sorry. I used up too much energy. Sweetie I need that energy back" a cold chill runs up my spine. Something is very wrong. My daughter slips her bracelet off. ******** draws something out of the metal piece. It brightens his color, but he is still fading and getting smaller.

"Oh no. This isn't enough. Tali I think this might be it for me. I'm about to disperse" he said.

Confused, Tali asks him "what are you talking about?" I remember the conversation we had. He's going to fade away from existence. As much as I can't stand this annoying human, my daughter loves him very much. When my permanent bondmate died, it destroyed my daughter and nearly ended me. It was only Tali who kept me going. She can't lose him. She won't recover.

"********* if you need energy, we can plug you into a socket" Shepard said.

"It won't be nearly enough. Tali… thank you… I got to do so much… but I finally got to get a glimpse of what I dreamt of and it was because of you" he said. The atmosphere changes. Despite wearing a suit we can somehow tell the difference.

"*********?!" Tali utters. She falls to the floor, cradling her mate on her lap.

"Hey… it will be ok. I can't think straight, but if my last moment is to feel loved by you… I'd be ok with that" he's fading faster and faster.

"********* what is happening?" Joker asked.

"He told me this before. He's going to cease existing. No whatever this is… no realm of the ancestors, complete nothingness" I said.

Tali screams "WHAT! NO! My cherished… Please stay with me. I love you… you can't leave!"

"Shhh… I'm ending on a high note… If it is my time…" the color disappears, only a translucent ball distorting the light of Tali's knees.

The commander yells "********* don't you die on me. That is an order. We can get you out of this."

"The entire ship wound't have enough energy. I would need something… huh… right…. I need something big… and very… very… warm…"

"Human pilots get as close to a star as you can" I yelled. The rapid acceleration flies us back.

EDI says "turning off all nonessential power. Tali there is a wide diameter copper wire underneath the floor. The access panel is behind the passenger seat."

Tali carries ********* to the mentioned area. She prys off the panel with such speed and precision only the finest engineer could do. The copper is coated with an insulated material. Tali begs for a knife. Grunt moves her aside, using his genetically designed strength rips the wire out and aims at *********. The lights inside flash on and off. It doesn't seem to help. He is still translucent.

"I need way more" ********* said.

"Hang on! We are only a minute away. ********* you have to stay alive!" Joker yells.

Shepard says "you can't quit on us!"

Grunt says "You need to fight! You're a warrior greater than any battlemaster. Fight to live another day!"

My beloved daughter pleads for his survival "please don't go. I love and need you. I promise I'll give you whatever you want if you survive. I'll live wherever you want. Adopt as many human babies as you want… Please stay with me, my cherished."

"THIRTY SECONDS!" Joker yells. ********* rises. He slowly floats to the windshield. The protective thermal field is unable to handle the tremendous heat of the star. The humans are turning bright pink and water droplets are birthed on their foreheads. ********* flies out of the ship. Joker has no choice but to leave. Tali's cries break my heart. Joker gets to a safe distance away, turning the ship around to get a good view. The bright orange star fills 70% of the view. Nothing is happening.

"*********!" Tali screams.

Three tremendously large coronal loops rocket from the surface, converging at a singular point. The partial rings of solar plasma feed into a white speck that grows and grows until it is blinding for us to look at. In an instance, an explosion from the star blows out a tiny portion of the star. It is a sight to behold. We watch in anticipation.

POP!

"Oh AH OH Jesus christ Oh that was so scary Oh god I thought I was dead. Permanently dead. Oh I can never do that again" ********* said.

"*********!" Tali leaps into the chest of her mate, diving both of them back. *********'s head kisses the floor with a loud skincrawling wack.

"Owwww…. Tali…. Get the doc… I want to abuse some pain relievers" ********* said.

"Eh uh eh uh eh… DON'T YOU EVER SCARE ME LIKE THAT AGAIN!" Tali said through her tears. She pulls his head onto her faceplate, kissing his lips.

*********'s raspy voice replies "I won't. I promise. Help me guys."

Commander Shepard said "Glad to have you back. What about the colony?"

"Can't a guy get a few minutes? I think they are safe. I collected everything and collapsed it into a black hole. I didn't even know I could do that. The radiation won't get to them. I think I earned a vacation. Grunt… just this once… please carry me to my camper."

"A warrior returning from battle deserves his rest" Grunt hoists up the savior's limp body.

"Wait" ********* said. Grunt freezes.

"I need an awesome sendoff. Everyone fist bump me on the way out."

I can't believe he saved them. I tried to warn the batarians but by then, the communication system was down. ********* really risked his entire existence for a bunch of people he never met. It's one thing to die for a cause. Before we learned for certain there was at least a chance for an afterlife, but he risked everything. He's a hero. A saint to the core. Those batarians better be grateful. Imagine telling them a dumb two eyed alien saved their ugly butts. Oh fuck did they see him? They have cameras. Wait… how am I going to explain this to the council? I blew up a fucking mass relay and instead of a fried batarian colony, a blackhole was made. Oh I'm going to need Mordin's help in connecting a believable story.