A/N: This starts at the very end of the season 1 finale.
I do not own nor will I ever own these wonderful characters. They are of course property of Tess Gerritsen and Janet Tamaro.
Happy reading!
...
Chaos. That was the only word Dr. Maura Isles could use to describe the situation. Chaos. And fear.
The second she burst through the front doors of BPD and into the bright sunlight she knew something was amiss. She heard the sound of the gun go off as she ran down the stairs, calling Jane's name as she went. It's like the world was standing still. Time moving slower than she anticipated. But when she saw Jane on the ground, the blood staining her t-shirt, her world shifted, time accelerated, and she prayed to a god she didn't believe in that Jane would be okay.
She raced towards Jane, still calling the detective's name. She was almost to her until strong arms wrapped around her.
"Maura, don't, stay back. An ambulance is on its way." She knew that voice. The low baritone of Jane's partner, Barry Frost. He was the only thing standing between her and her best friend. She struggled for a minute to escape his grip, to get to Jane. But Frost knew better than to disturb the scene. Damn it. Maura thought. I need to be with her. I need to tell her.
Maura had been having thoughts about Jane lately. Ever since that night Jane had stayed over at her house. The night they laid on her guest bed and Jane made an off hand comment about Maura wanting to tell her she was attracted to her. Are we having a sleepover or is this your way of telling me you're attracted to me? Maura knew Jane was beautiful and smart, but until that moment she hadn't considered she might be attracted to Jane. But when Jane had said those words, Maura had all of sudden gotten nervous, like maybe she did, in fact, have feelings for Jane Rizzoli.
But now Jane was laying on the sidewalk bleeding out and she may never be able to tell Jane how she feels. Maura quietly starts sobbing in Frost's arms as she watches paramedics arrive and begin to tend to Jane. I can't live without her. I need her. I have to tell her. She feels Frost's arms tighten as if he's trying to comfort her. Then he loosens them all together and Maura feels her legs give out. She falls to ground, crying uncontrollably. She can't help but think how unlike herself this is. Maura Isles never cries in public. That's how she knows Jane is different. That's how she knows she's in love with Jane. And in that moment Maura promises herself that when Jane wakes up, she's telling her the truth.
...
Hours later Jane is out of surgery and recovering in a hospital room. Maura is pacing back and forth in front of the bed, glancing at the monitors every few seconds to make sure that Jane is still alive, that her heart is still beating. Her beautiful heart.
Angela and Frank were with Frankie. His surgery had been longer and more complicated than Jane's but he had made it through. Maura promised Angela that she would stay with Jane and call her with any updates. But Maura knew that they'd be back soon for what she was calling "shift change" - when Angela and Frank would move from Frankie's bedside to Jane's. All Maura could do in the meantime was try to will Jane awake so they could have a moment alone before the onslaught of Rizzoli concern and affection.
Maura was making what seemed like her thousandth circle in front of Jane's bed when she heard it. Breathy and low and oh so beautiful. "Maura?" Maura spun on her heels and was at Jane's side in an instant. "Hey," she whispered as she took Jane's hand in her own.
"What happened?" Jane slurred, still groggy from the anesthesia.
Maura glanced down at their joined hands before she answered. "You were shot. Or rather, you shot yourself."
"Shit."
Maura smiled at that. She had her Jane back.
"You scared me," Maura replied.
"Scared myself," Jane said as she peered into Maura's hazel eyes. "I don't even know what came over me, I just knew we had to save Frankie."
"Who is fine, by the way. Your parents are with him. He did very well in surgery."
"That's it? No medical mumbo jumbo explanation of his entire surgery?" Jane was shocked Maura hadn't said more.
"I was honestly more worried about you."
"I'm not the one who almost died on your autopsy table."
"No, but you did almost die." Maura said. She let go of Jane's hand, stood up, and began pacing again.
"I know" Jane looked down at her hands as she said it. "I'm so sorry, Maura. I didn't mean to put you through this. I was just trying to save Frankie."
Maura closed her eyes and placed her hands on the footboard of Jane's bed to help steady herself before she spoke. "Do you how scared I was that I would lose you?" Her voice came out barely above a whisper. "I thought you were going to be the next body on my slab. I thought I would never have the chance to…" Maura paused as she choked on a sob. Tears were flowing freely as she recalled the memory of Jane's blood soaked body on the sidewalk.
"Have the chance to what?" Jane asked.
Maura took a deep breath and closed her eyes in an effort to the stop the tears. "To tell you that I - that I love you." Maura looked up at Jane and saw Jane's face had broken out into a smile.
"I love you, too" Jane replied.
"No, you don't understand," Maura started. "I love you more than a friend. I'm in love with you, Jane."
"I'm in love with you too, Maura."
"What?" Maura had prepared herself for a myriad of responses, but that was not one of them.
"I love you, Maura. I have for a while."
"You have?" Maura said as she walked around to the side of Jane's bed and took a seat in the chair stationed there.
"Yeah, I have. Ever since that night I stayed at your place…"
"When I got into bed with you and you asked me if I was trying to tell you I was attracted to you."
"You looked so nervous and I thought, man this girl is beautiful. I just fell deeper and harder each day I spent with you."
Maura felt a surge of bravery and placed her hands on either side of Jane's hips as she leaned over the bed. She leaned in close to Jane, silently asking for permission. Jane's eyes sparkled and Maura took that as a yes. She leaned in and pressed a soft kiss to Jane's lips. Jane responded and moved her hands up to cup Maura's cheeks. Maura let a soft moan escape from her lips as Jane pulled away. They looked into each other's eyes for a moment until Jane's flitted down to glance at Maura's kiss swollen lips.
"Wow," Maura breathed out.
"Yeah," was all Jane had to say in response.
The moment was then ruined when the sound of Angela and Frank arguing was heard approaching Jane's door. Maura quickly pulled away from Jane, squeezing her hand before placing both of her hands hands by her side.
"Oh Janie, you're awake!" They heard Angela say as she walked over to give her daughter a hug. Jane looked at Maura and smiled. At least something good came out of shooting herself.
