A thermal detonator was a strong enough explosive to level a whole building. But should one want to poke a hole in the thick armor plate of a twenty-meter-high engine, and survive it, they would have to direct the full extent of that explosion toward a very narrow direction and stick it to the wall. It's what Sabine loved to call a hollow charge.
The soldier in front of her bag, for one, did not like to call it that. Actually, he just didn't like it. Nor was he in a position to like anything else, though, when the directional blast vaporized the upper half of his body entirely, leaving his cut legs to fall to the floor.
Then the explosion made its way to the plated wall behind, and reverberated in the whole room, engulfing everybody in the backfire. Projected once again by the blast, Shin managed to recover on her feet this time, as she was expecting it. A loud thud behind her confirmed that the soldier aiming at her had not been so swift.
The blast from the explosion had been very precise and directed, most of it burning the wall behind on a square meter area. Fortunately, only shallow flames had bounced back into the room, almost instantly put down by the pressure of the blast.
But chaos was everywhere, as well as smoke and dust. Several of the soldiers were crying in pain or shouting orders at each other. Shin could feel that unfortunately, only one soldier had died in the blast, leaving five more to deal with.
Between the curls of smoke, Shin saw Sabine standing up, fighting a soldier with fury. The Mandalorian had batted the man's rifle away to wrestle him, landing fantastic punch after another to the confused man.
All around, other soldiers were still recovering from the sudden blast, and freezing in confusion. Some had their rifles raised but none dared fire in the heavy smoke, afraid to shoot each other by accident.
Then, a shadow rose on Shin's side, a disfigured malevolent smile flashing. She turned to face the so-called commander, knife in hand.
Shin Shivered. Half the man's face was charred and burned. Guess some of that backfire was still pretty hot, grinned Shin in her head.
She unclipped her lightsaber and turned it on. But the weapon just shot a spray of sparks and died with a whirr.
Dank ferrek. I forgot. The battery's down.
"Trouble with your toy weapon, mercenary girl?" Grinned the man, his burned face twisting into a horrifying smile. He started to jungle his knife from one hand to another, teasing his attack.
Shin ignored him and looked back to Sabine and saw the girl had already knocked down her opponent, sweeping his feet and kicking him unconscious. She turned to block the awkward charge of another and proceeded to beat him down.
She's safe. I can concentrate, thought Shin, with appeasement.
A strange dispassionate calm fell upon her. They had been ambushed and sucker-punched. But now, this fight was about four dazzled guns for hire against two highly trained warriors of the Force. And I'm really pissed, she thought, looking around.
She spotted a torn-down pipe, lying on the ground. Casually, she summoned it with the Force to her hand and turned to the disfigured commander, assuming the most aggressive guard in her repertoire. Her eyes were cold as space, her lips pursed in calm defiance.
The commander made a hoarse laugh, teasing some more with his knife.
"So you want to do it the hard way, uh? That's all right… I was dying to prove you were just an overpaid Jedi wannabe."
Shin didn't flinch, breathing calmly, every muscle in her body ready to move.
"You're not dying to prove anything, commander. You are dead. Because I'm no Jedi, and I'm out of patience with your existence," said Shin, with an even tone.
The commander had a slight twitch, not expecting such a threat to be delivered with casual indifference. Grunting, he launched himself forward, thrusting with his knife at Shin's throat.
Shin did not even move. Her feat solidly planted in the ground, she batted away the strike with her improvised club, the Force speeding up her movements, strengthening her muscles to the brink of tearing. She heard the fingers and hand of the guard break under the shock, the phalanx exploding into pieces, and the knife flying away in a swirl of blood.
The commander never had the chance to be surprised by the incredibly violent parry. Shin darted her durasteel pipe to his throat, piercing it with mindless precision. As the commander was skewing himself on the makeshift weapon, Shin just yanked him to the side, and the dead man went crashing onto a wall, falling down with a last gargle.
Shin turned to the rest of the room, where the smoke and dust had started to settle. All around Sabine were the fallen bodies of the remaining soldiers, unconscious or neutralized. I'm not admitting that to her, but the girl can really fight , thought Shin, impressed.
Sabine looked at the wounded, groaning men on the ground, then turned to Shin with a smirk.
"I'm four for two, you're slow blondie." She walked to her, and saw the dead commander, lying down in a pool of his blood. She winced but made no comment, and just gestured at the other fallen men.
"And mines are still alive. What do you say we tie those shabuir up and let them rot here while we take our trip back up?" she said, mischievously.
She paused and lost her smile when she looked at Shin's expression. The blonde's face was a picture of cold, determined rage. Casually, she walked to one of the wounded soldiers on the ground. With mindless, relentless savagery, she lifted her improvised club and proceeded to bash his head to a pulp.
Something deep and dark was fueling her, filling her with anger and mercilessness. She stroked again and again, every blow splashing blood all over the floor, the walls, and herself. For a moment there, she felt so powerful, so complete. She felt like she was retaking the power those cowards had tried to take away from her. She was inebriated by the exhilarating feeling of being vengeance incarnate.
When she finally stopped, what remained of the man was barely recognizable as human.
Then she met Sabine's eyes, horrified and wide. The girl was gaping at her in shock, and somewhere deep in those precious hazel eyes, Shin thought she could see the faint spark of visceral repulsion.
She stopped, turning fully to the Mandalorian, expressionless.
"You didn't have to do that," said Sabine, with a broken voice. "That's… You… This is…" She retched, barely stopping herself from puking.
Shin felt something break at that very moment. The whole delusion of her, being the nice tame girlfriend of that Mandalorian girl and living a peaceful life was suddenly just that.
"Yes, I did, Sabine," she said, in a calm low voice. She felt like she was watching herself speak from outside her body, her head buzzing. "I had to do that, viscerally."
"Oh, so what?" cried Sabine. "You felt like slaughtering that guy so you just did?"
"What do you think he was about to do to you, Sabine?" asked Shin, in disbelief. "Because the answer is: this, and much worse! You really gonna cry over him?"
"I'm not gonna become him, is my point!" shouted Sabine, in shock. "Anger, hate, violence, revenge… that's easy. Low. Don't you believe in drawing the line?"
"I believe I'm doing just that," sneered Shin. "You're refraining so bad to say it's leading to the Dark Side, aren't you? You still believe in these kinds of absolute principles? It's not black and white Sabine, these guys are murderers and rapists. I'm freeing that world from them and the harm they'll do next."
"Can you just say you regret it? Can you please just say you got carried away?" pleaded Sabine.
"No. I'm very calm, Sabine," said Shin, slowly. "So very lucid. And most of all? Tired. Tired of sharing oxygen with that kind of garbage men. Tired of playing nice because their boss or some overlords here or there wants me to be tame. I'm done, I'm so done doing what everybody wants me to do."
"Then don't!" shouted Sabine, arms spread wide, shaking her head with an empty look. "Leave those wars, those fights, those… bullshit power struggles behind and just run with me! Don't be the savage they told you had to be."
"Don't you get it, Sabine? said Shin, raising her voice, locking on the girl's eyes, and staring at her with cold and calm honesty. "You can't fix me. You can't fix my rage. You can't fix that Galaxy enough for us to be safe from those monsters."
"Then what?" cried Sabine, tears in her eyes. "Uh? What's your plan then? Be some savage? Give in to their horror, and add some more?"
"No, ending it. Ending them all. I will not have nightmares anymore, I will be theirs! Do you understand me?"
With rage, she gestured towards one of the soldiers who was trying to get up and Force-slammed him onto the wall. Not even looking at the man she made a twist of her hand, tapping into the Force with her rage. An eerie crack echoed as the soldier's neck snapped, his head now facing the wrong way. His lifeless corpse fell to the ground clumsily.
"I will not suffer injustice, fear, and abuse," shouted Shin, eyes red with rage. "I will be the justice. I will be their fear. I WILL BE THE ABUSE!"
Ignoring Sabine's gasp, she launched the blood-stained pipe in her hand toward a third unconscious soldier. The metal tube skewed the man's chest, piercing it like a gruesome javelin, tearing apart his heart.
Spinning around, she summoned one of the soldier's blaster rifles to her hand and aimed at the last surviving member of the platoon. Coldly, not missing one shot, she poured a rain of fire on him. When the blaster finally clicked empty, its empty energy cell fuming in heat, there was nothing left but a calcinated mound on the floor.
The acrid smell of burned flesh and drying blood got Sabine to gag again. The girl took a step back, fear and sadness in her eyes as she looked at Shin. The blonde cocked her head, smiling bitterly.
"Oh, I know. That's too much for you. I'm too much. I knew you'd realize it, sooner or later," said Shin calmly.
"This is too much!" said Sabine, her voice breaking. "But it's not you Shin. It doesn't have to be! I can show you!"
"Show me?" asked Shin, with anger. "You don't see me. You don't want to. You fantasize about some idea of a girl that I could be to fit your dreams. You don't want to show me Sabine. You don't want me . You want to fix me. But I don't need any fixing. I'm just what I should be."
"Why?" shouted Sabine, crying. "Why do you believe so freaking much that you are some evil? That you have to be so?"
"I AM WHAT I AM SABINE!" shouted Shin, tossing the blaster rifle with anger at a wall. "You're the one not seeing it, not believing it! Because it frightens you because it disgusts you!"
"Of course it does!" shouted Sabine, tears flowing down her eyes. "Of course, I don't want you like that!"
"That's the problem, the one you refuse to face, Sabine. Because this, 'like that', is who I am. I want more of you. But you want less of me. So maybe wanting more of you, just makes me a lesser me."
Shin could see Sabine's face freeze in pain and disbelief, sorrow taking over her eyes. That last sentence had hit hard. Shin could see how much she just had broken with those words, how irrevocably she had mauled their bond.
Silence fell, heavy and sad. Shin was more and more conscious of the nightmarish state of the room. The smell of blood and burnt flesh was horribly impossible to ignore. She felt a drop of regret and horror sparking inside of her but killed the feeling with resolve.
With a beaten-down voice, Sabine broke the silence.
"Well. That version of you sure is a lesser you," she said.
"Just a truer one," said Shin, bitterly.
"So that last look in the engine room, that push, to save me?" she asked. "That's me not seeing you? Was that false?" she screamed, eyes red with tears and sorrow.
"False?" shouted Shin back, "I sacrificed myself for you! And I'd have done it again! I'd sacrifice the whole Galaxy for you! Can't you see that, understand that? Don't you realize the world we live in? The cruelty of everybody, and everything! I merely claim my right to fight, TO RESIST!"
"You claim a right to savagery!" objected Sabine. "To mindless violence! What will that bring you? If not more?"
"Peace," said Shin, calmly.
"Peace with that kind of price tag is just weaponized cruelty. Abuse of power!" said Sabine.
"Fine," said Shin, darkly. "You don't have to love me, Sabine. I'll do it anyway. I'll bring peace to this Galaxy. You can just live in it and enjoy it."
She walked to the elevator, punching it open. As she stepped into it, Sabine followed, avoiding her gaze and leaning on the lift wall, as far from Shin as she could. The apprentice made an effort not to look at her too, though she could perfectly see the girl's tears from the corner of her eyes.
None broke the cold silence and distance the whole way back up.
The doors of the lift opened to Baylan and Elsbeth, waiting patiently before them. Baylan's eyebrows twitched imperceptibly at the sight of Shin, blood-covered, not even having wiped the drops from her face. As for Elsbeth, she gaped in surprise and looked behind the girls with anticipation.
"I… sent a whole team to retrieve you both down there," she said, interrogatively.
That you did," mumbled Shin, stepping out of the lift.
"May I enquire where they are? They had clear orders to escort you back up."
"And then they made their own orders, which we didn't agree on," retorted Shin, coldly. "They are downstairs. Some parts of them on the walls, other parts on the floor… one is half mist and vapor though but you can scrape the others."
Baylan's eyes widened in surprise, as Elsbeth's looked at him in outrage. The witch turned to Shin again, furious.
"You killed my men? Again?" she said with rage in her voice. "I believe I made myself clear about what would happen to the two of you if you acted that way again."
"Well it was self-defense, so blast off," said Shin, with attitude.
Sabine turned her eyes away at the blonde's answer like she refused to associate herself with it.
"I sent those men to help you!" shouted Elsbeth, furious.
"I know you did," said Shin. "But did you specifically select the squad of the previous guy I killed in the hope they would try to rape and kill us, or did you just not care and check who you assigned? Sorry, I guess you left nothing to chance and actually gave them instructions?"
The witch winced, furious but caught off-guard. She looked at Baylan only to find an interrogative look from him, like Shin had raised a fair question. The old Master went back to Shin, suddenly much less severe.
"The men Lady Elsbeth sent tried to enact revenge?" he asked calmly.
"As I said, yes. They tried to fuck around with us," said Shin, darting a dark look at Elsbeth.
"And then what?" asked Baylan.
"Then, they found out," declared Shin. "I reckon basic goons are a budget, Elsbeth. But I would advise paying those twenty extra credits to get the non-homicidal and rapist version of them? Unless that's a requirement for you?"
"Well look who's mad about homicidal habits now," mumbled Sabine still not looking at Shin. The apprentice ignored her.
Elsbeth pursed her lips in disapproval. Shin locked her eyes on the witch's, trying to probe her face for clues. She felt embarrassment, hatred, and frustration in the woman. There was a good fifty percent chance the witch had encouraged or even commanded her men's attempt to kill Sabine. Of course, she would never admit it.
"I was not privy to… those men quarrel with you both," finally said Elsbeth. She was avoiding Baylan's judgmental gaze and Shin felt a primal pleasure in seeing how the woman's authority did not hold up to power she recognized. Now maybe she would realize Shin's power too.
"It's okay Elsbeth," said Shin coldly. "You can send more my way if you want. Though if you're the one with a… quarrel, I'll be glad to unpack that with you directly, no need for puny messengers."
Elsbeth shivered in rage at the veiled threat. But Shin held her gaze, steel in her blue eyes, ready to take her on. She almost believed they would settle this the old way when Baylan's voice interrupted.
"Well, I'm sure Lady Elsbeth did not oversee personally the selection of the team. A common oversight, I'm certain."
"Yes, an oversight Baylan," said Elsbeth between her teeth. "I'll make sure it doesn't happen again. Anyway…"
The magistrate turned to two nearby guards and gestured toward Sabine.
"Get that one back to the brig," she said coldly. "Unarmed."
"What? I just saved you ship, and your homicidal apprentice!" Sabine said, in disbelief.
She gaped in outrage, crossing her arms in protest. But Elsbeth ignored her protest and walked away without a word, leaving them to deal with her order.
"And you have my deepest gratitude," said Baylan, answering the protest with his usual and unnerving calm. "But I'm afraid I concur with Lady Elsbeth here, we can't have you roam the ship. Besides, it'll be safer for you."
Sabine scowled at him, bitter.
"Sure, what could ever happen in my cell, right? It's not like some creepy guard or homicidal sith-girl ever stepped in to maul me…" she said sarcastically.
Shin sneered jeeringly.
"Well, maybe you just have one of those faces, you know…" she said mockingly.
"Maybe I should punch yours," retorted Sabine with angst, "It might improve it, or make a welcome distraction from that haircut."
"Careful with hatred, Jedi-girl," said Shin "I hear it's a path to the Dark side and a turn-off. You can't take much more in that second area."
"Oh really?" said Sabine with a sour laugh. "I'm the one who's off-putting?"
"Hey don't shoot the messenger, Buckethead," snorted Shin. "Most of all because you'll miss again and make a mess."
"Oh give me a blaster, see if I miss!" chocked Sabine.
"Well one thing I won't miss, for me, is your bantha-face," spit Shin.
"Oh now my face is the problem?" asked Sabine in bewilderment.
"I mean, not the whole problem, but if we're digging a mountain, we might as well start with the top of it."
"Starting a podcast on who's got problems, murder-girl?" said Sabine. "Because I have someone in mind to fill a couple hundred episodes. We'll just have to cut some content to cram it in."
"Oh honey," said Shin condescendingly. "Try and wire a detonator the right way before you try to count to two hundred? Cinlinder plug into cinlinder holes and all, cover the basics?"
"Uh? Sorry Darth Frizz, I can't hear you behind those giant ankles of yours. Can you go back and repeat that under a pile of rubbles?"
"Well nobody asked you to get me from under it," said Shin bitterly.
"Maybe I regret that too," shot Sabine, venomously.
"Then cry about it in your cell," said Shin, gesturing for the guards to get her out.
Baylan had been following silently the exchange, gaping at the sheer level of banter between the girls. His eyes were wide as Death Stars in puzzlement.
Shin ignored him, taking a deep breath and leaning on the wall, exhausted. Her Master stared at her silently for a moment.
"I could swear I felt your death," he said finally.
Shin knew that was a question. But she wasn't in the mood for answering, not when she had questions of her own.
"Feelings can be treacherous Master, you warned me of that," she said, dodging the subject.
"Miss Wren talked about a fall no one should have survived," insisted Baylan.
Shin shrugged, crossing her arms with pride.
"Well, she wouldn't have," she said smirking. "Her vision is limited by her lack of talent."
Baylan looked at her intensely, and she could feel he was probing her, trying to see beyond her casual facade.
"What happened, really, down there ?" he asked, feigning to be casual as well.
"I found my path," said Shin, firmly.
Baylan rose an eyebrow in surprise, cocking his head.
"Really? And what is that?" he asked.
"Power," said Shin, laconically. "I want true, unaltered power."
Baylan nodded in silent approval. Shin could tell he was expecting the answer, though she was sure he did not really understand her.
"Then you are walking your path," said her Master. "Because true power is where we are headed."
Then, she felt like getting answers of her own.
"Master. That path you follow. What you are set to find… Does it relate to something called… Abeloth?" she asked, holding her breath.
Then, she swore she saw it. For the very first time, she felt it was obvious beyond any doubt, and despite any effort, her Master made to conceal it. His hesitation, his surprise… and the way he was about to lie.
"No," said Baylan. "I have never heard of this name. Why?"
"Figured," said Shin, turning around. "Nothing, just a word the Jedi blabbered about." Two can play this game , she thought.
Not waiting for an answer, she walked away to her quarters, her fatigue and sorrow making her feel like they were miles away.
