AN: This chapter is very nearly wall-to-wall smut. It is M content. Really really really M content. If you're somehow here for the plot, you could skip this chapter if you want.
I should say the sex isn't exactly vanilla, and there is the teensiest tiniest bit of blood involved, so be forewarned.
Maura owed Jane an apology. That much was clear.
While Maura had successfully stifled her attraction to Jane during the middle portion of their friendship, she had spent quite some time at the beginning, as well as a fair bit of time recently, entertaining sexual fantasies about the detective.
Maura had a vivid imagination, but she was also a woman of science. Even her most elaborate daydreams needed to be grounded in evidence, had to possess an element of truth in order to have the desired erotic effect. Her life, both real and imagined, was necessarily ruled by facts and reason.
So, knowing Jane as Maura did, and observing Jane's relations with romantic and sexual suitors over the years, there were just certain scenarios that seemed more likely than others.
The early fantasies all involved an ostensibly straight Jane. The flirtatious energy that had always existed between the two women made it easy to imagine a situation where the right amount of adrenaline and alcohol sufficiently lowered Jane's inhibitions. The two women would be fresh off the best kind of solve, one where the evidence comes together with time to save another person from a grizzly fate, where they not only secure justice for the dead but achieve salvation for the living. That high would turn into a drunken night at the Robber, a shared cab, and Jane, well-lubricated by liquid courage, finally breaching the fuzzy boundary of their friendship to make a move. Whatever she lacked in skill, Jane would make up in enthusiasm. It would be a touch inelegant but very effective. Quick. Hands would fumble beneath clothes. The setting would be a wall (Maura had considered both interior and exterior), sometimes a kitchen counter, occasionally a couch. In Maura's favourite version it happened on the stairs, after an attempt to make it all the way to the bedroom was thwarted by the immediate need to have each other. She'd want Jane so badly that it would take barely anything to send Maura flying apart.
There was a sober variation too, but in this one Jane was hesitant. Her Catholic upbringing, her stubborn desire to resist the stereotypes ascribed to her due to her profession and her tomboy nature, her mild to moderate interest in the very occasional man, all of these were obstacles that Maura would have to overcome. Which she would gladly do, with flourish. This fantasy had a version where Jane wanted very badly to give in, and a version where she needed to be brought along slowly, and both renditions had satisfied different needs at different times.
More recently, with Jane out and increasingly experienced, fantasies of a capable and confident Jane had taken hold. In one, Maura would find Jane at Merch, and Jane would understand right away why Maura was there. They would approach each other as if they were strangers, and Maura would take Jane home. For whatever reason, this one always ended the same way: Jane going down on Maura on the dining room table. The next day at work they would act as though nothing had happened. The subsequent Sunday dinner would be a little more awkward.
None of those scenarios came close, as it turned out. Every fantasy Jane combined fell well short of the powerful, determined, demanding lover that was stationed above her. Maura knew now that she had sold Jane so short, and planned to apologize at length and in detail, if she was ever capable of complex syntax again.
The problem was that Maura had been gathering selective evidence, and if she were being honest, she judged herself for it. She'd committed a logical fallacy, perhaps even several, and that was not befitting her typically rigorous approach. She had only looked for clues about what kind of lover Jane might be from information gathered about Jane's romantic relationships. So no wonder she'd shortchanged her. No wonder the Jane that lived in her mind's eye was just a touch clumsy. Eager, sexy, skillful, absolutely. Hardworking above all. But just a little be irresolute. A tiny bit constrained.
If she had been looking in the right places, Maura would have better been able to predict this. If she'd paid attention to the Jane that was so competitive she'd break her nose playing basketball while down ten points, just because she couldn't stand for it to become twelve. She would have thought about the Jane who walked freely into a hostage situation, willing to take the place of someone who would otherwise bleed out. The Jane who had strong-armed one of the most prestigious academic institutions in New England into awarding a scholarship to keep a scandal out of the papers. The Jane who had run the Massachusetts marathon out of nothing more than affection for her best friend.
The Jane who found the strength to slay a demon and save Maura's life.
That Jane—that brave, reckless, arrogant, passionate, loving, furious, infuriating Jane—was the one Maura should have imagined in bed. Because she was certainly the Jane who was in bed with her right now.
So yes, Maura would apologize.
Later.
For now, she was a little busy.
Maura had always been a very calculated and controlled lover. Not to say she didn't lose herself in the passion of the moment sometimes, but it was difficult to recall a sexual encounter where she hadn't been completely in charge, dictating the action regardless of her position. She'd assumed that streak was going to continue with Jane, because it was certainly how it had started.
She'd finished Jane off and then had nearly orgasmed herself, working herself against Jane's strong thigh until she was right at the edge, only to be refused by Jane at the last moment. Jane had flipped them both, then flipped a switch. With one wrist held firmly in either of Jane's hands, Maura had been momentarily stunned by the sudden shift. When she tried to free her hands, she found that she couldn't. Jane had seen it right away, in the moment where Maura pushed back and found that Jane was stronger than she'd expected: Maura's nearly pathological inability to give up control, and her deepest, most primitive desire to have it taken from her.
The look that had appeared on Jane's face was ferine, and after the smaller woman struggled valiantly for a few minutes, Maura had given up. She wasn't going to win on the basis of physical strength. She then switched tactics, and tried to goad Jane into giving her what she wanted, tryied to break Jane by feeding her ego and when that didn't work, undermining her.
No dice.
Eventually, Maura had to give in. She had to plead with Jane, had to debase herself by thrusting so desperately up at her. Jane had simply smiled, transferred Maura's wrist from one hand to the other so both of Maura's hands were pinned to the bed above her, then dropped her free hand down between them and finally indulged Maura. Almost immediately, Maura had found herself rocking heedlessly against Jane's fingers, coming nearly the moment she was touched.
And only then did Jane really get to work.
One thing that Maura really couldn't blame herself for missing, the only aspect of the sex that she failed to find evidence for in hindsight, was how absolutely filthy Jane turned out to be. Jane relished in all the mess that came with sex. She lapped up Maura's sweat like it was melted ice cream, buried her face in Maura's underarms and inhaled deeply, rubbed her cheeks and nose against the wetness coating Maura's thighs. Jane hadn't even gotten around to putting her mouth where Maura wanted it most, and yet she already felt thoroughly and literally consumed.
Maura's favourite part so far was when Jane had flipped her over onto her stomach, slipped her hand beneath her to press firm and unmoving fingers against her clit, then created all the friction necessary by driving her pelvis against Maura's ass, forcing her upon Jane's hand over and over. Jane's hips had quickly found a delicious rhythm. She'd licked up Maura's spine, bit her shoulders, nuzzled in her hair, and whispered extremely dirty and occasionally biologically impossible things against Maura's ear. It was incredibly effective, and Maura climaxed for a second time as Jane moaned and begged Maura to let her come inside her.
Maura had never felt so thoroughly used during a sex act that was predicated on her pleasure, and she loved it.
It was all so deliriously good that Maura didn't even realize until the tremors faded that Jane had yet to be inside her. No sooner had she thought it than she was being flipped onto her back, and two fingers were massaging her entrance with intent. Maura scooted down the bed in an effort to force the issue and Jane swiftly withdrew her fingers, tsking lightly. Maura could have screamed, but instead she summoned up all the words she had.
"Fuck, Jane. Please."
Something between a gasp and laughter, both delighted and just the littlest bit sinister.
"Ah, the doctor curses in bed." Jane's fingers returned to press against Maura, but still refused to give her what she really wanted. Maura drove the back of her head into the bed beneath her, eyes slamming shut in frustration as her back bowed in desperate need. She once again gathered up her limited vocabulary, found one more word to tie it all together, and tried again.
"Please, Jane. Please fuck me."
The low, smug chuckle would have made Maura's blood boil if it didn't come at the same time as the two fingers she so badly wanted. She arched off the bed, fisting handfuls of the sheets as she luxuriated in the feeling of finally, finally having Jane inside her. Every moment of this evening had been its own particular point of no return, but this one was special among them. She opened her eyes to look at Jane, and was surprised to find herself blinking back tears. The emotion of the moment had snuck up on her, and her throat felt tight as she watched Jane work above her. She was beautiful, her nakedness a delirious mix of leanness and pliancy, her skin golden in the dim light of the bedside lamp. She hadn't wanted to focus on Jane's scars, but in this moment, it became impossible. Maura's eyes travelled over her torso to the entrance wound from Jane's own service weapon, the burn mark on her chest from the road flare, and all the lesser, non life-threatening wounds she'd accumulated during her years on the force. Maura bit her lip and tried not to cry.
Jane's mood began to shift as well, and she watched Maura so carefully, so lovingly. Her dark eyes were liquid and soothing, even though her jaw was set possessively. She swooped in low to kiss Maura, her tongue dipping in and out of Maura's mouth in a complimentary rhythm to her fingers. Jane loved to kiss, Maura was learning. She loved deep, slow, slippery kissing, treating it with the same reverence as she did any other part of their communion. She kissed Maura especially hard as she extended a third finger and filled Maura up to the brim. Jane was pouring herself into Maura and it felt so good. Nearly too good, in fact. The two orgasms that Maura had already experienced made her so sensitive to every thrust, and coupled with the emotions, something was building inside of Maura that she couldn't quite handle. She gasped and hiccuped and wriggled her body against Jane's persistent hand.
"It's too much," Maura breathed, one hand grabbing weakly at Jane's wrist, the other coming up to cover her mouth as a quiet sob escaped from her lungs. She could feel that the tears had begun to stream down her face. "I can't."
"Oh, sweetie," Jane drawled, deep and soft. "Yes you can."
Maura nearly dissolved into the mattress.
Jane had called Maura 'sweetie' before, and if she were being honest it had been a little patronizing at the time, but it had also been tender, and in a way, it was again. Jane's voice was dripping honey and dropping pet names, her sultry timber cooing words of encouragement to Maura while insistently opening her up to take what she wanted. Being spoken to so sweetly while being pushed to her limits was unravelling and disorienting and wonderful. Maura whimpered softly as Jane dropped featherlight kisses that were at once contrast and companion to what her hand was doing, as she firmly and surely worked in a fourth finger. She used her other hand to direct Maura's face towards hers so she could look her right in the eyes, and her voice came out huskier than Maura had ever heard it.
"You promised, remember? Whatever I can give."
Evidently, having her words turned against her was a major turn on for Maura, because she gasped and relaxed every muscle in her body. Jane collapsed her hand as much as possible, and sank deep into Maura, all the way to the top of her palm. The feeling of her body enveloping Jane past the first knuckles was exquisite. Jane's whole being went quiet, just giving Maura the chance to adjust, exhaling desperate little noises as she felt Maura's heartbeat pulse all around her hand. It was only in the stillness of the moment that Maura realized she still had her hand uselessly on Jane's wrist. She released it, skimmed the tips of her fingers up her arm to feel every taut muscle along the way, then threw both hands back over her head and submitted to Jane's will entirely.
It didn't make any sense. It had no right being so good the first time, and if someone were telling her about having a night like this she would have thought that they were lying. But somehow, boundaries that had to be carefully taught to previous lovers were immediately and implicitly known. Desires that had never been easily communicated were apparently mapped out all over her face and her body. Maura didn't believe in fate, but it wouldn't take much more to convince her that Jane had been put on this earth to fuck her. What other explanation could there be? Jane hadn't even been sleeping women all that long, she had no business having this many tricks in her bag. Maura briefly worried that they were going to hit their all-time high score with their very first quarter, but then Jane rotated her hand and curled her fingers up inside her and Maura had a brand new concern: how would she possibly survive if it got any better than this?
With four fingers pressing inside, and one thumb finding its place against her clit, Jane was slowly coaxing Maura into oblivion. Maura watched her in a daze, watched Jane fuck her so carefully and so thoroughly. Her dark curls thrown over and cascading down one shoulder, religious invocations spilling from her lips, panting and gasping and gazing at Maura like she was sacred, like she was some kind of lesser deity. She was certain no one had ever looked at her quite like that, and it stole the breath from Maura's lungs.
She let her head fall back and shut her eyes, watching the colours and shapes that projected on the back of her eyelids as she approached some astral plane far beyond ordinary comprehension. It was starting to feel like she'd reached some kind of blissed out plateau, one where perhaps no final destination would be found, but then Jane then pressed just a little bit harder, curled her fingers just a little more, and Maura was coming apart into all her composite pieces.
Before Maura had any hope of being put back together, Jane's hand was withdrawn and replaced with her mouth. Maura cried out weakly and writhed, but two firm hands pressed on either ilium and forced her back down against the bed. Jane's mouth was so hot. Mouths were always hot, but Jane's somehow even more so. The enormity of the sensation was such that Maura couldn't fully process what she was feeling, so instead she thought about Jane's heritage, about sweltering summers in Sicily, and she swore she felt the Mediterranean sea crashing between her legs.
Jane flattened and softened her tongue, knowing better than to apply any direct pressure, and licked broadly and repeatedly from the bottom of Maura's sex to the top. Maura's hands found their way into Jane's hair, winding and gripping tightly, ready to use any strength she had left if she needed to yank the woman off of her. Maura could feel her grinning disrespectfully against her before covering as much of Maura as she could with her mouth. Jane pressed her tongue warm and wet against her, sucked ever so gently and by some miracle, cajoled one last trip to the mountaintop from Maura's overtaxed body.
She came sharply, her fourth, hips bucking up so hard that she broke out of Jane's strong hold. Distantly, Maura thought she heard Jane hiss and curse, and her mouth was suddenly replaced with the heel of her palm, and Jane jiggled her hand vigorously against Maura, setting off a denouement that caused her to forget at least three of the languages that she knew. Roiling pleasure cascaded outward from her core and into every part of her body, until her fingers and toes tingled and she could feel every follicle of hair on her head.
Never in her life.
When her eyes could focus again, she looked down at Jane, who wore a feral grin, and Maura could see her bottom row of teeth were streaked pink. Jane smacked her lips at the taste, then rubbed the back of her hand against her mouth and examined it. Her expression only got more wicked as she looked back up at Maura and proceeded with a further inspection, running her index finger along the inside of her lower lip.
Maura was a doctor, but it didn't take one to figure out that Jane's lip had been cut against her own teeth when Maura had jolted up as she came.
"That was quite a thrust," Jane declared, her voice drenched in self-satisfaction. Maura rolled her eyes, then used the literal last ounce of her energy to sit up and throw her arms around Jane's neck, pulling her on top of her and kissing her fiercely. Not for a billion dollars could Maura have come again, but the metallic tang of their kiss still managed to discharge another small tremor between her hips. She ran her tongue along Jane's injured lip and sucked it into her mouth as Jane groaned shamelessly.
It wasn't the first time that Jane's blood had entered her body, and it surely wouldn't be the last.
She emptied whatever she had left into the kiss, because Jane deserved to be rewarded for a job well done, and then collapsed back on the bed. Maura took a deep breath before pressing her fingertips to her chest, just below her jugular notch.
"Maura," she said, and Jane looked perplexed. Maura smiled innocently. "I remember my name. You'll have to try again some other time."
Jane growled and reached for Maura again, who yelped and clamped her legs together, wincing as she did.
"Don't you dare." She locked her eyes on Jane, and Jane understood that this time she meant it.
"Don't write cheques your body can't cash, Maura," Jane threatened with a wink.
"I'll write a cheque for any amount you want, after that," Maura murmured in exhaustion, settling back down against the bed. "You want a million dollars? I'd honestly put my signature on anything."
Jane scoffed, then sat up on her knees and let her eyes rove all over to survey her handiwork. Maura watched warily as Jane took her in. She could imagine what she looked like. Bodies were messy and the best sex was too. Snot, spit, tears, and blood had mixed with their wetness and was smeared all over both their bodies. Maura's makeup was surely streaked across her face, as she could see evidence of its transfer on Jane.
"You've never looked better," Jane murmured.
"Jane, I swear..." Maura flushed, because there was finally blood available to other parts of her body. She found she suddenly couldn't stand the eye contact, and she looked past Jane to focus on the ceiling, feeling exposed in the aftermath.
"I'm serious," Jane insisted gently, dipping down to press a closed-mouth kiss against Maura's lips. After everything they'd done, following it with such a chaste little kiss felt absolutely sacreligious, and Maura was thoroughly embarrassed by the audacity. Jane lingered close, nuzzling Maura's cheek and then her neck, pressing her lips here and there. She drew her head back to catch Maura's eyes. "I love you."
It wasn't until Jane said it that Maura realized she was hearing it for the first time. She'd seen it in Jane's expression, called it out, and Jane had agreed with Maura's assessment. Jane had prompted Maura for crystal clear confirmation that it was mutual, but somehow Maura had overlooked the fact that she herself hadn't heard the words. They washed over her like sunshine and she reached up to place her palm against Jane's cheek, trying to communicate with touch what was slowly slipping away from her in words. The love and exhaustion were both settling into her bones, and Maura's eyelids were growing heavy. She allowed her eyes to shut and her breathing to grow deeper.
"I love you too, Jane," she managed, on the edge of sleep. "If you try to start anything else tonight, they will never find your body."
The last sound Maura heard was Jane's laugh, and the last thing she felt was strong arms wrapping her up tight.
