Only love can hurt like this - Paloma Faith

It took me right? Well my exam was postponed until yesterday and I swear I tried to update yesterday but I was so tired it was impossible. But here's today's chapter and I like to say the "last" of this "first" part. We have the "second" part coming soon, be nice in the comments and chapters come sooner. And without further ado...

Good reading

Chapter 11 - Emotional Proximity

"Have you ever wondered what marks our time here? If one life can really make an impact on the world... or if the choices we make matter? I believe they do. And I believe that one man can change many lives. For better... or worse."

- One Tree Hill

If you had a mother or grandmother who always came up with those sayings about life, dig deep in your mind and maybe you remember them saying something about how life isn't easy. Well, everyone who lives a little ends up figuring that out eventually. However, one thing you are sometimes told is that love is not easy and it is true. No kind of love in general, because love hurts, love hurts no matter what kind of relationship you are in.

Be the love of fathers and mothers for their children or vice versa. Be it brotherly love or friend love. They all hurt, not just because the person misused their love, just because you get to a point in love where just imagining something bad happening to your loved one hurts.

But the love that couldn't be lived, like when a mother loses her child, she will always love that baby, that child or whatever the moment a mother loses her child, because she feels it's not fair and the people who say that a mother should never see her child die are right and only when you have your own child do you understand exactly that.

That night in March 2021 was also about love, every part of her, even if it hurt, was still love. A mother's love and an old lover's love, a current love and it felt like tonight would be all about loss, a painful night for three people who had given their hearts to love and who was showing them that only love can hurt like this.

Manhattan - Mar/2021

She waited, she knew he'd told her not to wait, but she was anxious and worried. And when the clock struck one in the morning she got even more worried and she wouldn't wait any longer. Not until I knew what was going on. Jay didn't say anything at all, didn't warn him if he had arrived or not. And if he hadn't, what would he be doing for hours and so late at his ex's house?

She called and only the third time he answered. She really wasn't going to give up until he picked up and if she didn't, Hailey would be able to pick up wherever Erin's address was and go there.

It's not pure jealousy or lack of trust in her boyfriend, she didn't think Jay was having fun with his ex girlfriend or anything like that, she knew Jay wasn't like that. It was just worry, she thought she knew how Erin could hurt Jay, she'd seen what Erin had done to him years ago and what she'd done to him in those days they were reunited.

Jay completely walked away, just like when they first met. When Hailey arrived in NY a few days ago it was late at night and she and Jay ended up meeting up the next morning and quickly heading to the FBI, which meant little personal time and zero rapprochement, the day was also marked by the surprising presence of Lindsay. and from that moment on Jay distanced himself.

The truth is, they never traveled anywhere together, not even on a personal outing, as they were in a relationship for just under three months and didn't even have a business trip, so Hailey didn't know how Jay acted professionally on a trip to work and didn't know how he acted on a personal trip.

When she was on her way to NY she imagined that because they were in a hotel, they would be able to sleep in the same room without any problems, no one can really blame her, she was at the beginning of her relationship with a guy that she had hidden her feelings for years, she was always professional and knew that Voight would be right by their side, just like he was by her side on the trip, but without a doubt he wouldn't be spying on them in the hallway, even because he knew about their relationship, but right on the first night Jay pushed her away.

The Chicago detective won't deny that it bothered her, because it did a lot. She didn't get off to a good start with Jay years ago, he was going through a lot and it was hard for both of them to have a good working relationship and that escalated into a friendship later on, but as those years went by, she liked to imagine that she and Jay created something she never had with anyone and imagined he didn't either, which was the freedom to open up and talk without either of them judging the other and that's why she didn't like that he pushed her away, but still she decided to wait for him to come to her with his feelings.

Everything that had been going on in the last few weeks was enough to push Hailey over the edge, in addition to the worry that Jay was going back to her old ways, the woman felt he was avoiding talking about things with her. She remembered how bad Jay had been when Lindsay had suddenly left, she remembered he was someone closed off, totally thick and intimidating. She remembers the hard times she had with him, how he was the bad guy until she and Voight helped him. She didn't know Jay from before, but she imagined he was in a better place since he'd sought help.

The truth is that she imagined Jay to be a closed man forever and that the fact that Erin probably had a lot of problems made him even more closed, always having to stay there trying to be the best for her and hiding his true feelings. She can't say for sure, she wasn't there at the time of the two of them, but she lived a little bit with Erin, a little bit with Jay and she felt that Jay was okay with a relationship that Erin apparently wasn't. That's because since the beginning of the partnership between her and Erin, she noticed that the woman was more determined that the exchange of partners was necessary, she didn't seem to care unlike Jay. In Hailey's mind, Erin was dealing with her own demons and Jay had to deal with her demons, putting his aside.

No, Hailey isn't blaming Lindsay, she doesn't know what her ex partner carried to judge her. At no time did she think Erin did something on purpose, she just thought the woman had to deal with her own things and ended up not noticing around, she knew what it was like, having to deal with her own demons. However, that never ruled out the fact that Jay needed help and she thought a relationship should be about give and take and apparently Jay got nothing. So much so that it wasn't until Erin Lindsay left, with a lot of patience and help, that Jay finally knew how to deal with her problems and even after four years, he was still dealing with it.

Hailey's relationship with Jay has improved a lot since they became partners and friends. He's learned to trust her more and has opened up to her a little more, but now in this new phase where they're in a loving relationship that she felt she could find out more about Jay. She wanted him to let her in, wanted him to be able to count on her as she counted on him. She always wanted to show that the relationship could be good without her making Jay hide her feelings, she didn't want to be the other person who let Jay get hurt so that's why she was crazy after her boyfriend and worried about him. he.

That was why at nearly one in the morning, she couldn't take it anymore and had to call him. When he finally answered, she knew something wasn't right, Jay barely spoke to her and she felt his voice strange, she couldn't say how, because he said little and quickly hung up, but she knew something was very wrong and that was it. moment she knew that as soon as he arrived, she would be there for him. Whatever.

Hailey didn't imagine everything that would happen in the next few hours, she wanted to show Jay that she was there for him and for him, that he could open up to her and about his feelings, no matter what, she wanted him to do.

What did she not imagine? Jay asking for a break. She was in shock.


Looking at his girlfriend almost crying made Jay realize he was making a mistake again. He didn't want to be the guy who played around and hurt people's feelings, but apparently that's exactly who he turned into. The bad guy.

Putting what he'd put Erin through into perspective was being too much for him and he hadn't been able to digest it all in such a short time and before he could he was bombarded by Hailey. He didn't want to talk to anyone else at that moment, it was too much for him to take in but she didn't give him the space he was begging her to give him and he felt suffocated but when he finally looked at her he felt guilty, yeah right here he was again hurting his girlfriend.

Hailey was quick to say I love you to him and considering the night she told him her feelings with "I've been in love with you for years", well that's quite a statement to make. However, her I love you didn't take long to arrive and it didn't come as a surprise to him when those three words came out of her mouth. He wasn't ready to reciprocate, Jay's love was something very confusing to him and he didn't want to throw those words like they meant nothing like he did with Camilla, he didn't want Hailey to be Camilla, he didn't want to use love Hailey and make the same mistakes he made with Camilla.

Jay was very fond of Hailey, she proved to be a true friend to him over the years and that was why he didn't want to hurt her. Yes, Jay liked Hailey, but he didn't feel like he loved her. He knew that eventually with her knowing her and all, he would get there and from the start he knew he shouldn't compare what he felt for Hailey to what he felt for Erin.

During the years of having Hailey as his partner Jay went through phases with her, it wasn't easy for him to have to live with her when all he wanted most was his old partner back, guilt always a part of his everyday life. So, little by little, he learned to see Hailey as his work partner, and he also knew that Erin's departure wasn't her fault. It was hard being friends with Hailey and he felt like he was cheating on Lindsay, but again time showed him that it was okay.

Being Hailey's partner for so long, he realized he could have a professional job without developing feelings for his partner, he and Hailey never flirted, they never had sexual tension, they weren't playful all the time or yearning to end the day at the house. each other with beer and pizza. That's how Jay started to accept Hailey better, that's what Jay's therapist made him understand. Working with Hailey and being friends with her wasn't a betrayal or a replacement, it was just life moving on.

When Hailey called him out to a bar that night, he didn't think Hailey would confess to him. Jay developed a fondness for Hailey, a genuine concern for her. He wanted to protect her and he thought then it was time to move on, he thought life needed to move on without thinking too much about the past, not thinking too much about the "what if", he couldn't live like this, no most.

Those months with Hailey were good, but as he told her, he settled down, he just accepted and let life flow, she would say I love you and he would kiss her or smile at her. They'd go out to dinner, but there wasn't that romantic part where both eyes sparkled. This was weird because they were supposed to be on that famous sweetheart "honeymoon", when the beginning of everything seems perfect, when they couldn't keep their hands off each other or at least make smart jokes, but Jay didn't think about it, I didn't think about the past and I didn't think about the future.

However, two months with Hailey, meeting Erin again, meeting Charlotte, discovering that if life weren't so cruel he would be the proud parent of a 3-year-old boy or girl, all put everything into perspective for Jay. He realized that for fear of his life getting into constant changes, he accommodated, but that wasn't fair to Hailey, she deserved more, she deserved someone who flirted with her, teased her, had easy jokes and it was also at that moment when he thought of all that he saw that he hadn't been this guy in a long time.

So after asking for a while things got weird.


- Jay… - Hailey's voice is almost a whisper and she's trying not to let her tears roll down her face which is proving to be a difficult task.

- Hailey, I just need some time ok? - He says and she is silent looking at him. - Tomorrow we need to catch an early flight back to Chicago, I think we both just need some rest. - He says and his tone was firm, making it very clear that her decision had been made and that she should respect it, so she left.

Jay felt like crap as he closed the door behind her. He saw how he could hurt the people he cared about and it was affecting him but he needed this, he needed this time to think and Hailey apparently wasn't going to let him so he made that decision and as much as he felt like a total asshole now he knew it was the best decision. He knew the last time he'd asked for a break it had all gone wrong, but he felt like this was different and he was going to talk to Hailey once they got to Chicago, he really just needed some time to take it all in.

His biggest feeling was guilt, for everything of course, for Hailey, for Erin, but what hurt Jay the most was knowing that the woman he knew he loved most in his life was carrying their child and he wasn't there for her. He promised her, Voight and himself to be there for her 24/7 and the moment she needed him the most, the moment she needed him to tell her everything was going to be okay he wasn't. there.

It wasn't how Jay imagined he would find out he was going to be a father, he imagined that they would both have smiles on their faces, that he would take her in his arms and roll and then kiss her flat belly that even though it wasn't visible yet, it was home of their baby, of the baby he dreamed of having with her.

But it still hurt even more to know that when she woke up that night suffering an abortion he hadn't been there to take her to the hospital, to keep her safe and hold her in her arms as they mourned the loss of the baby. It wasn't how he wanted to show his love for Erin, it wasn't how he imagined their relationship would end and even four years later it still hurt. Only love can hurt like this.


He wasn't surprised he couldn't sleep the few hours he had left. He was mulling over and reliving in his head pretty much everything he'd done in his life and in his 34 years. He realized that he was a person as a child and teenager and that has changed, not only by becoming an adult, but by losing his mother to cancer, by knowing that his girlfriend's neighbor cruelly abused and murdered Ben, his 8-year-old brother-in-law. years, for distancing himself from his father and brother and for the two tours he has done and for everything he has witnessed there.

Jay thought about those phases of his life, how he was a child who suffered in school, how he had to deal with cruel deaths. Then he thought of the person he had become when he entered intelligence, he thought of how his world had taken on a bright hazel green color, he thought of how someone with a dimpled smile could piss him off all day at work, but it was still those same bright eyes. , this dimple and this someone he'd like to see in his spare time.

That someone brought in a new Jay, a Jay he liked and he thought that was his real self. It wasn't easy to accept it at first, to allow himself to have it, but little by little he opened up. Intelligence became not only his job but also his family. Mouse and Will came back into his life and Jay had those dimples that he wanted to be the last thing he saw before his last breath of life.

He's had previous relationships, but he can guarantee he's never been so in love with someone before, he can tell that opening up to someone was difficult and it was still with her around, but those eyes seemed to understand him, respected his space. This was so much something he felt he was in the right place for because in less than a month into a relationship he knew he wanted to spend his retirement with her.

At that time he was smiling, playful and relaxed. He always had jokes with his friends, silly laughs, flirtations and teasing with his partner and girlfriend.

And then there was the him of now, the him who felt like he'd lost everything, who he'd been for these four years. A guy who was focused on work and very dedicated to it, but who didn't think about growing in the position, he didn't want changes in his life, this was proving that things could get worse than they already were, so he resigned himself to the that had. He decided to live without expectations, without desires and dreams, he wanted the easy way for his life. He was no longer playful and the Jay everyone knew. He was still Jay, detective, and his co-workers' family, but that glow from before? Well that one is gone, he lost her and Mouse and Antonio left too, Alvin died, his father died listening to Jay yell at him that he was a broke bastard, he got involved with someone he didn't like just because maybe that would make her pain subsided, he again killed a little girl and he was getting into more accidents at work than when he was in the war.

Jay thought about all this, how good his life was but without perspective, how it had become a monotonous routine.

So, during the night/early morning that made him think about the "what if", about what his life could have been or rather, could be, he decided to let his feelings flow, he can't remember the last time he cried as much as he did now, how everything seemed wrong and out of place and how lost and confused he was feeling. However, he couldn't come to terms with his feelings, not entirely. It was difficult having to deal with all that, especially with the latest information of the night.

Jay got out of bed when he saw that not only was dawn in the state of New York, but it was time for him and Hailey to board back to Chicago. His sleepless night made the detective relive his past and present, but he didn't know what to do with his future, it was all so confusing for him, but still Jay decided it was time to settle things with Hailey, because he didn't want to hurt her even more.


Chicago - Mar/2021

Hailey looked pretty upset when they met and ended up not talking for the entire flight, it wasn't until they boarded the windy city that Jay decided to talk to her before they each went to his apartment.

- Hey... Hailey. - Jay calls her before she gets in the car that asked to take her to her house. She doesn't say anything but stops, her hand on the car door, one foot inside her and her body hidden by the black metal door and stares at him, letting him say what she wants to say. - I had some time to think a little, can we talk tonight? - He questions and evaluates her facial expression, indecipherable and he just finishes. - At 8pm. Could it be? - She just nods in agreement and gets in the car closing the door and Jay watches her car drive away.


Manhattan - Mar/2021

- Good morning... - Tess says as Erin opens the door to her apartment. She looks at her friend and notices that she doesn't look good at all. - Or not, what happened? - Tess asks entering the apartment without waiting for an invitation that was not necessary.

- Are you okay? - Nick comes right behind watching her.

- What are you two doing here? - Erin frowns and ignores the questions asking the most important, because the two are at her house at 7 am.

- I promised my little one that I would come visit her more often...

- My sister needed my car a few days ago and I'm riding with Tess, I wouldn't miss this visit. - He says shrugging, but when they realize that Erin doesn't look good, they drop the joke.

- Hey, Linds, what's up? - Tess approaches, Nick's frown indicates that he also feels that something is wrong. - Where's Charlotte? - She asks worried about her friend and her daughter, maybe the child has gotten worse.

-She is sleeping. - Erin responds trying to stay firm.

- She is sick? - Nick asks. To keep from crying in front of her friends, Erin just shakes her head in denial. - Erin what happened? - This time it is Nick who questions her approaching, the concern increasing in her friends when they look at her, she has a tear-stained face, dark circles under her eyes and fatigue was evident.

- It was nothing... - She avoids looking at them and closes the door walking inside the house.

- Hey, we're here, you don't have to tell us what happened, but if you need anything, you know we're here, right? - Nick questions her and she nods and before she says anything, he pulls her into a hug.

It was at that moment, in Nick's arms, that she started crying again, she didn't know it was possible, because after Charlotte fell asleep she started crying again, her mind couldn't stop replaying her last months in Chicago and then the conversation that had with Jay. It was too much for her and too painful, but her mind couldn't turn off.

This wasn't the first time her friends had seen her cry but the concern was evident because the first time she cried was when she thought she would lose Charlotte and so this was being the second time she was fragile to her friends and now they were completely worried.

- Hey... shhh, it's okay, we're here. - Nick says stroking her back and comforting her and the friends look at each other worried about whatever happened.

- I'll call my dad, we're all taking the day off. - Says Tereza, Erin would interrupt, but she was busy sobbing in her partner's arms.

A few minutes later, Erin manages to calm down and walks away.

- I'm sorry Nick. She sniffles and wipes her nose and eyes.

- Don't be sorry, we're here. - He says and smiles gently at her.

- Tess... - She turns to her friend. - You don't have to call Max. - She informs, as much as she wanted to get under her covers and be swallowed from this world forever, but she couldn't.

Tess ignores her and explains to her father that they are on a personal stop and that all three phones will be on. Marshall agrees and just says he'll keep them posted if anything changes, as well as asking if everything was okay. Tess didn't want to share too much so just says she's staying, without saying who or what she was needing this personal time for, it wasn't her story to tell and so father and daughter end the call.

- Let's keep the phones on, but we don't need to go to work now. First I want you to rest or just calm down ok? - Tess approaches her friend who nods and thanks silently.

Erin decided she needed a shower, Tess stayed at the apartment, and Nick ended up going to some diner to get breakfast for the four of them. He made sure to get plenty of food and plenty of things Erin liked.


- And then he gave me Mrs. Purple Pig, he said she's Mrs. Baaa. - Charlotte says.

It was with her hair wet, dressed in black leggings and an oversized sweatshirt, that Lindsay walked into the kitchen to find her little girl telling Tess and Nick about her night out with Jay, part of the reason for the state she was in. There was plenty of food on the counter and the three of them were talking normally, but knowing how her daughter was talking excitedly about Jay caught her off guard and she would even look at her friends to see if they weren't snooping around and using their goddaughter to get information on how she was doing. , but she didn't want them to see the answers in her eyes and so she lowered her head.

- Mommyyy, aunt Tessa and uncle Nick came to visit me. - Charlotte screams excitedly.

- That's amazing, sunshine. Erin forced a smile that even her three-year-old daughter knew was fake.

- Are you still sad mommy? - She asks and gets up in her chair, leaving everyone on alert for fear of falling and then Erin soon pulls her into her arms.

- Mom is just tired. - She hugs and kisses her daughter's temple and her eyes meet those of her friends, now she knows they know that the reason for her sadness is named after Jay Halstead and that he was there the night before.

Charlotte's breakfast was quiet for the girl, the three adults were trying to be as natural with her as possible, that's how you act when kids are around, you should never let adult problems get to them, they're too young to have to worry about adult problems.

The three friends got a break only when Mac arrived at Lindsay's house, and she knew she wouldn't be able to escape the conversation she was about to have with her friends.

- Did Jay stop by last night? - It was Tess who asked. Mackenzie had just taken the girl up to her room to get ready for the day. Lindsay was leaving her daughter's room and was already cornered by friends as soon as she entered the room.

- Yes, Charlie dropped the sheep on his table. - She runs her hands over her arms and looks at the floor.

- I'm sure he could have left it at the headquarters for you to pick up tomorrow. - Tereza says looking at her. Erin says nothing.

- Erin, we don't want you to feel obligated to talk, we just want to know if he did something, did he hurt you? - Nick asks worried, he didn't know Jay and didn't think he would be able to do anything against Erin and knew that Erin knew how to defend herself, but it didn't hurt to ask. Even because Tereza and Nick knew about the man's existence, but nobody knew the story.

-No... - She is quick to respond, but her answer doesn't convince even herself.

- You know that hurting someone doesn't have to be physical. - Nick says.

- Well then you need to see the other guy. - She says in a failed attempt to make a joke. For a while they are silent, but she speaks again. - He wanted answers and I needed to take a weight off my back, but reliving the past wasn't easy for both of us... - She sighs and a tear falls, she quickly wipes it away. - I think I hurt him even more than in the past. - Her voice comes out low and guilt.

Yes, she blamed herself, she spent the night imagining how she had devastated him years ago, walking away without a word and now years later she just shows up to say that she wasn't able to keep and protect his son. It wasn't fair to make him carry it around so long later, he'd gone on with his life and she'd probably screwed it up. When she decided to tell, she did it for two reasons, the first one she needed to take that weight off her back, second because she felt he deserved to know, after all the baby she lost was part of him, it was the fruit of their love and she never, not for a second did I want to hide it from Jay. But now she wondered if she'd made the right decision.

- Hey... - Tess approaches. - Whatever it is, I know you didn't do it to hurt him. - The brunette was right, but it doesn't matter, Erin still hurt him, intentionally or not.

Erin walks over to the couch and sits down. Tereza comes next to her and Nick sits at the coffee table in front of her. It's been four years, four years keeping this secret to themselves, this weight, this guilt. No one but her and the doctors present that fateful day knew that she had lost a baby. Yet.

- Jay and I were partners... - And that's how, after keeping it for so long, she tells her friends what relationship she had with ex-partner Jay Halstead, that they loved each other, that they lived together and that they almost were parents.

- Erin... - Tess says holding back her own tears.

- Last night I told him, said I lost our baby. -Erin says, of course it was a shortened version, it didn't have the details, it didn't take hours to say like the night before, but now her friends knew the intensity of what Erin and Jay were.

- It was not your fault. - Nick comforts her.

- Hey, you don't have to blame yourself for that, okay? - Tess starts. - When he left he did what he thought was best and when you left it was for the same reason. - Tereza says.

- But he was still there... - Erin says.

- He wasn't Erin, if he was he would know about the baby... - Nick says and receives a look from Tereza. - You two were going through a lot. - He corrects himself quickly. - There's no blame in this story, I as a man can assure you that as painful as it was I'm sure Jay would have liked to know, you did the right thing yesterday telling him.

- Why didn't you tell us? We could have carried it with you. - Tess says her friend and Erin stares at her.

- It wouldn't be fair… it wasn't fair that other people knew and Jay didn't, from the first day I found out I was pregnant with his child, I wanted him to know first. - Tears flow freely. - It wasn't the way I expected, but he was the first to know...


Chicago - Mar/2021

Jay had a plan, he had to find himself, adjust his feelings and that was why he wanted to talk to Hailey, he needed and she deserved some answer.

-Hi... - He says when he finds Hailey on the other side of her apartment door. It was 8:27pm, he was starting to think Hailey wasn't going to show up, but lucky for him, she did.

-Hi... - She says softly and with a low voice and enters when he opens the door enough for her to pass.

She stands awkwardly standing in the middle of Jay's living room, before the silence gets any more awkward, she decides to speak up.

- What do you want to talk about? -She gets straight to the point, she doesn't want to be involved in this matter, she also wants to solve everything with Jay, she can't wait for them to solve this and Jay trusting her again with her problems.

-I...-Jay clears his throat, she took him by surprise, he knew they would talk about why he called her in her apartment, but he thought it would take a while, but it was now or never. - Hailey... - He approaches. - I realized I haven't been a good boyfriend lately...

- Jay... - Hailey interrupts him.

- No, let me finish... - He says taking his speech back. - I know it took a while to get where we are and I'm really happy about that, really. He gives her a brief smile. - The last week was... very... - He says thoughtfully. - I wasn't expecting everything that happened, there were a lot of feelings involved, I was hurt and I think I ended up hurting you with my attitude too. I want you to know that I didn't purposely push you away, it's just that I have to deal with all of this myself. - He says.

- I can help you Jay, we are partners, but more than that, I love you and I want you to know that I am here for you. - She interrupts him. - I can imagine how much you have to deal with, but you don't have to deal with anything alone. We can talk about whatever you want, I'm not jealous or angry, I know it was a lot to take in, especially with this miscarriage, but I'm here for you. - Hailey says approaching Jay and kissing him, but he holds her arms and pushes her away.

- Thank you Hailey, I need to hear this and know that you support me. - He says and she smiles at him.

- Always Jay, whatever you decide I'm here ok? - He nods.

- There's a lot going on now, a lot that I don't know how to deal with yet and that I need to find out on my own. - He says and Hailey nods. - I need this, I just don't know how to absorb all these feelings I'm feeling and I think that as long as I don't find out, I won't be able to be a good boyfriend for you. - He says and again Hailey feels that she is being pushed away from him like yesterday. - I think we should just be friends for now.

- Jay, you...

- It's the best Hailey, it's what I need right now. - He claims.

- You don't have to deal with this alone.

- I need Hailey, I'm grateful that you support me and want to carry this with me, but I need to absorb everything that is happening, everything I'm feeling and everything I've discovered. I made a lot of mistakes and I need to work it out with myself and this is what I need from you, I want you to give me this. If you can't I'll understand, but still that's all I ask.

That wasn't what Hailey expected to hear from Jay tonight, she hoped they would reconcile, but Jay was pushing her further and further away and she was trying to be strong, she didn't want Jay to see her heartbroken and so she broke up. leaving once more.


She found herself sitting at Molly's taking one shot after another trying not to break down.

- Oops, go carefully there... - A stranger approaches Hailey.

- Get out man... - Hailey says as she observes the type of guy that approached her.

- I think someone needs to use that mouth better... - The man who has obviously had too much to drink says with an arrogant laugh.

- Hey buddy, you heard, get out. - Will approaches from behind and oddly enough the man didn't make a fuss, he just went to someone else.

- I didn't know you were back. - Will sits next to Hailey.

-At least I'm not the only one your brother doesn't tell you things... - Hailey says, but she doesn't look at the doctor who is watching the woman's situation.

- What did my brother do? - Will asks worriedly.

Will was surprised a few days ago when his brother said he was dating Hailey, Will never saw Jay comment on having any feelings for Hailey but still he wouldn't meddle but now could they have broken up?

Hailey takes another dose wondering whether or not to talk to Will, but she's taken enough doses that it interferes with her way of thinking.

- He asked for a break, although now it was more like him breaking up with me. - Hailey says.

- Out of the blue? - Will goes deeper, he's confused, he knows his brother, Jay wouldn't do that.

- We went to New York and guess who we found? - Will doesn't say anything... - Yes, she does. - Will didn't answer, but his reaction was enough for Hailey to know that the redhead knew who it was.

- He... Jay... - Will starts to ask in disbelief.

-No... - She knew where the question was going, but she interrupts him. - He came back, but first he wanted answers from her. - Hailey says. - I don't know what he was looking for but he ended up finding out that Lindsay had a miscarriage, she said the baby was his but she never said she was pregnant and decided four years later was the perfect time to tell Jay . - Hailey says irritated.

Will needs to lift his chin, but he's in shock at the news he's just found out.

- How? Ho.. how...

- I don't know much, Jay pushed me away from everything, the problem is this, when she enters the scene, Jay becomes someone else. - She says and Will is silent, Hailey knows he agrees. - He pushed me away, I said I would be there for him, but he pushed me away and...

-Hailey... - Will interrupts her. - I won't deny that he changes when it comes to her, but him pushing you away and not wanting to talk about things has nothing to do with Erin, Jay has always been like that. - Will reassures her, well... he at least tries.

- No, he was like that, he was like that when she was here, after she left he got better. - Hailey says.

- Improved? In the last four years has he told you anything about his time in Afghanistan? About our family? - Will questions her.

- No, but we were friends, I was hoping that now that we're together he would open up, but she appears and...

- Hailey, do you think it's intimacy? I'm his brother and Jay won't even let me touch our mother's or father's name around him. I only know about his tour because I was there with him a few moments after he got back. He doesn't like to talk about the things that hurt him, that's Jay. I don't fully know about my brother and Erin's relationship, but she's tried too, we all have, but what you have to know is that when Jay wants space, you give him space, you can't force him.

- You just let him sink. - She claims that. - I'm his girlfriend, I won't let him do this, not if I can say something about it. - She stares at Will.

- It's not letting him sink, it's letting him take his time. You can't pressure him, when he feels comfortable he comes to you and what he shares with you is enough for you to know that this is his way of saying he's letting you in and that's where you take a attitude. If you try to force him to open up he will walk away from you. - Will has knowledge of the facts.

With that Hailey realizes that she pushed him away, she always thought Jay was like this because of what he went through with Lindsay, but now hearing from Will she realizes that she forced him.

- I thought he just needed someone to show he would be there for him. - She counts.

- That's not how it works. Jay likes space and he doesn't share everything, but he shares enough when he feels ready.

And that's when Hailey feels like the stupidest person ever.

"Making mistakes is what makes us human, it's how we learn, how we get pleasure, in unforeseen situations, in which you don't even know where you came from."

- Grey's Anatomy


Quick note: Aside from Will, only Voight knew that Hailey and Jay were something. This is important for the future.