Afterglow - Taylor Swift
A/N: I will be updating my other story soon. I have been having a hard time sitting down and writing. I wanted to make sure I put something out. Just to let y'all know I didn't just fall off the face of the earth.
I DO NOT OWN OR MAKE ANY PROFIT OFF OF LAW AND ORDER: SPECIAL VICTIMS UNIT AND ITS CHARACTERS.
~~~oo0O0oo~~~
-I blew things out of proportion, now you're blue
Put you in jail for something you didn't do
I pinned your hands behind your back, oh
Thought I had reason to attack, but no-
"Olivia just tell me what's going on," Elliot exasperatedly said with a loud volume.
"Tell you what's going on?" Olivia repeated his statement with disbelief.
"Yes! For God's sake, I can't read your mind, Liv. Just talk to me!"
"Just talk?"
"Yes! Just talk!"
"What do you want me to say?"
"Anything! Liv, tell me something."
"You want me to tell you that no matter what you say or do, I will always forgive you? But somehow, I still can't trust you enough to tell you how much I love you. How the voice in the back of my mind keeps telling me you are going to leave again because if you did it once, you could do it again," Olivia sunk into her office chair. With a deep sigh, she muttered, "There is nothing to tell you, Elliot. I've got nothing…"
Elliot stood there, frozen still. Without a single thought, he spoke up, "I'm here, Olivia. I'm standing right in front of you. I could never leave you-"
"That's what you said before…"
"That's not fair and you know it!"
"Not fair? What's not fair is that the person I called my friend, my partner, and my family, abandoned me."
"You're one to talk."
"Excuse me?!"
"You left me first, Olivia. You remember that?" Elliot raised his voice and stood up from the couch in her office. He continued, "You gave up on me. You gave up on us. You left for Oregon without a word."
"I didn't have a choice," she defended her actions.
"That's bullshit."
"I went undercover for the FBI. It's not like I could just call you up and say, 'Hey, not making it in to work today. Lewis forced me to go UC with a bunch of eco-terrorists. Sorry!'"
"You're telling me that you would have told me if you had the chance?"
"I couldn't…"
"Or did you just want a clean break?"
Olivia's face went blank and her eyes flooded with anger. As she stood up from her chair, she pointed at the door. With a harsh tone, she stated, "Out."
"Liv-"
"Do I need to have Fin drag your ass out of here or can you handle walking out by yourself, Detective?"
Elliot sharply inhaled as he stepped towards the door. Without responding to her question, he stomped out of her office.
Fin watched the verbal altercation transpire. He knocked on his Captain's door and cracked it open, "Everything okay in here?"
As she sat back in her seat, she sighed heavily, "I'm fine."
"Doesn't seem like it," Fin entered her office and closed the door behind him, "Wanna talk about it?"
"Not at the moment," Olivia focused her eyes on the stack of paperwork, "I have to get this done by the end of the day."
With the answer Olivia gave, Fin respected her wishes and left her alone. As he sat down, he pulled out his phone and started typing.
FIN: What the hell is wrong with you?
ELLIOT: Excuse me?
FIN: Excuse yourself. Your balls must be the size of Texas or your brain the size of a pea.
ELLIOT: What's your problem?
FIN: What the fuck do you think you're doing yelling at Liv? In the middle of the workday no less.
ELLIOT: I should be asking you why the hell you're eavesdropping on our private conversation.
FIN: The whole damn precinct could hear your ass.
Elliot took a deep breath and realized what he had done. His heart rate steadied as he typed.
ELLIOT: Is she okay?
FIN: No.
ELLIOT: You have time for a coffee break?
FIN: Only if you're buying.
ELLIOT: Prime Roast sound good?
FIN: I'll be there.
-Fighting with a true love is boxing with no gloves
Chemistry 'til it blows up, 'til there's no us
Why'd I have to break what I love so much?
It's on your face, and I'm to blame, I need to say-
Elliot sat himself on one side of the two-person booth. He glanced at his watch and sighed. The door jingled as it swung open. Fin stood over Elliot and took his coffee cup from him. Before Elliot could speak, Fin cursed him out, "Fuck is wrong with you, man?"
"I don't know…" Elliot hung his head low and rubbed his temple.
"Well, you better figure it out," Fin sipped his coffee.
"You gotta help me out here."
"And how am I supposed to do that?"
"I don't know…"
"Seems like you don't know much of anything…"
"I love her, Fin…"
"I know you do."
"What am I supposed to do? She says she's doesn't want me to leave, but then she says she not ready."
"Has she talked to you at all about what happened while you were gone?" Fin asked with a serious tone.
He threw his hands in the air, "All I know is that she was in a relationship with Cassidy, adopted Noah, nearly married Tucker, and that Simon overdosed." Elliot dropped his head into his hands. He asked with an unsettling tone, "Is there more?"
Fin chuckled and leaned back into the booth, "Dude that ain't even half of it."
"Why won't she tell me? I want to know," Elliot cried out.
"You gotta talk with her about that," Fin admitted to him.
Elliot looked up into Fin's eyes, "I broke her Fin. I can see it on her face. I broke the person I loved- and I don't know how to fix it."
"Tell her that."
"What?"
"Tell her what you did."
"She knows what I did."
"Tell her anyway," Fin took a sip from the coffee cup and stood up from the booth, "Thanks for the coffee, man. I hope things work out for her sake. She don't deserve this."
Elliot nodded his head. He understood what Fin was saying. Watching as Fin left the coffee shop, he took out his phone and began to type.
ELLIOT: I know you probably don't want to see me, but is there a time tonight that we can talk?
OLIVIA: Tonight isn't the best, Elliot. Noah is at the McCann's for the rest of the week and I have to deep clean his room while he's gone.
ELLIOT: Do you need a helping hand?
OLIVIA: No.
With a deep sigh, Elliot put his phone back in his pocket. As he stood up from the booth, he felt his phone buzz.
OLIVIA: I have nothing in the fridge. You in the mood for Chinese?
ELLIOT: I'm in the mood to apologize. How's 8?
OLIVIA: 8 is good.
He slid his phone back into his pocket and threw out the empty coffee cup. Exiting the coffee shop with a grin on his face, he felt a warm sensation tingle through his body.
-Hey, it's all me, in my head
I'm the one who burned us down
But it's not what I meant
Sorry that I hurt you
I don't wanna do, I don't wanna do this to you (Ooh)
I don't wanna lose, I don't wanna lose this with you (Ooh)
I need to say, hey, it's all me, just don't go
Meet me in the afterglow-
With a knock at the door, Olivia made her way to the main area of her apartment. She looked through the peephole to see Elliot standing there with a big brown paper bag in his hand. Opening the door, she asks, "How did you get in the building."
"Someone held the door open," Elliot answered.
Still not moving from the doorway, Olivia said, "I ordered food. You didn't need to bring any."
"Oh- this?" Elliot motioned toward the bag in his hand, "I walked in at the same time as the guy who was delivering this."
"I didn't pay for it," Olivia looked past Elliot to see if the delivery man was still there.
"I took care of it, Liv," he stood there staring at her, "Can I come in?" She refocused herself and moved out of the way from the doorway. Allowing him in, she closed the door behind him. The silence that filled the room was tense and painful. Elliot placed the bag of food on the counter and turned to face Olivia. She refused to start the conversation. With a deep exhale, Elliot began, "Thank you for letting me in."
"You had my food," Olivia tries to brush past his statement.
"I want to apologize," Elliot said softly.
"For what exactly?"
"For hurting you… I promised you early on that I would never hurt you. That I would never give up on you. I broke that promise and I've never truly apologized for it."
"Thank you, Elliot."
"I want you to know that I am here now, but I understand why you feel like you can't trust me. I'm going to work hard and earn your trust back, Liv. I want to know what happened. I want to hear your stories- good and bad."
-It's so excruciating to see you low
Just wanna lift you up and not let you go
This ultraviolet morning light below
Tells me this love is worth the fight, oh-
"Elliot-"
"I mean it, Olivia. I didn't mean to hurt you, but I did. I don't know how I will ever regain your trust. All I know is that I will do anything- anything, for you. I can't lose you," his breath waivered.
-I lived like an island, punished you with silence
Went off like sirens, just crying
Why'd I have to break what I love so much?
It's on your face, don't walk away, I need to say-
As he spoke, Olivia's mind raced. Her thoughts swirled in her head, 'Did I do this? Why are you so insensitive? He's clearly in pain, Olivia. What is wrong with you?'
Elliot opened his mouth to continue speaking, but Oliva blurted out, "I'm sorry, El…"
Causing him to freeze, he looked at her with confusion, "Why are you sorry?"
"I didn't realize… I didn't realize I pushed you so far away…"
"I left you. You didn't push me away."
"You left, but you came back… and I haven't let you back in," Olivia admitted to him.
-Hey, it's all me, in my head
I'm the one who burned us down
But it's not what I meant
I'm sorry that I hurt you
I don't wanna do, I don't wanna do this to you (Ooh)
I don't wanna lose, I don't wanna lose this with you (Ooh)
I need to say, hey, it's all me, just don't go
Meet me in the afterglow-
Elliot stepped closer to Olivia. He placed his hands on her shoulders and gazed into her chocolate-brown eyes. Standing in silence, he continued to send messages with his glances. He pulled her in close to him and wrapped his arms around her. Holding her tightly he croaked, "I'm so sorry, Liv. I'm so so sorry."
Taken by surprise, she doesn't embrace him fully. She responded softly, "I forgive you, Elliot…"
He buried his face in her shoulder, "How can you forgive me? I can't even forgive myself."
"We'll get through this," Olivia emphasized the 'we' part of her statement.
-Tell me that you're still mine
Tell me that we'll be just fine
Even when I lose my mind
I need to say-
With a sharp inhale, Olivia stepped back from Elliot. Her eyes were noticeably more puffy than before he hugged her. Olivia reaches out for his hand, "Promise me you won't run. Promise me that no matter what happens, what I say or do won't drive you away."
"Only if you promise me something…" Elliot retorted.
-Tell me that it's not my fault
Tell me that I'm all you want
Even when I break your heart
I need to say-
Waiting for him to speak Olivia lets a tear fall down her cheek. Elliot moved his hand and cupped her face. He swiped his finger across her cheek to wipe away her tears, "Promise me you want this. Promise you still want this even after I hurt you."
"I promise…" Olivia looked longingly into his bright blue eyes which were clouded with tears.
-Hey, it's all me, in my head
I'm the one who burned us down
But it's not what I meant
Sorry that I hurt you
I don't wanna do, I don't wanna do this to you (Ooh)
I don't wanna lose, I don't wanna lose this with you (Ooh)
I need to say, hey, it's all me, just don't go
Meet me in the afterglow-
"I don't wanna lose you, Liv," Elliot grinned slightly as a tear fell out of the corner of his eye.
"I'm not going anywhere… Are you?" Olivia stepped closer to him and closed the space between them.
"Never again," Elliot stretched his arms around her and whispered in her ear, "I love you, Olivia."
"I love you too, Elliot…" squeezing him tightly, she reciprocated his embrace.
~~~oo0O0oo~~~
A/N: This was shorter than what I had originally planned, but I think it is cohesive enough to publish. Hope you enjoyed it!
