I know people were hoping for a Clementine chapter and see interaction between her and Texas (why am I doing this, everyone knows who he is) and his reactions to the pictures. Unfortunately that bit will have to wait until next chapter. I try to have my chapters in chronological order, which mean this chapter has to come first. But hey, that means we get the first Kenny chapter. That is a good compensation, right? Right?
Okey, jokes aside, I'm not entirely happy with this chapter since it feels like to me that a lot of it is just padding. It also proved hard for me to get into Kenny's head and as such I don't think I did his character justice, but I'm sick and tired of working on this chapter. I want to move on so here you are, I hope you like it.
Kenny sank onto his seat at the table in the yard with a huff, sloshing the soup in his bowl so that it was dangerously close to spilling. He was tired, hungry, pissed off, but most of all worried. About Sarita, the kids, Matthew and especially Clementine. She was out there somewhere, hopefully still alive. What was he thinking, of course she was alive, the question was, was she alone? He hoped not. Whiles Kenny did not particularly like Luke or had much faith in his abilities to keep her safe, it was better than the alternative.
He took a spoon full of the warm liquid into his mouth and chewed on the few pieces of vegetables and meat in it. He let out a dissatisfied grunt, the soup was bland in taste, it could definitely do with some more seasoning. Not that he thought Carver would ever waste such resources on his slaves.
Slavery, the mere idea that he and the ones he loved were victims of such an evil and outdated practice darkened his mood and filled him with disgust. Carver was without a doubt one of the most repugnant beings Kenny had ever had the misfortune to meet, second only to the St. John's. They needed to get out of here before that monster killed someone else.
Fortunately, their ticket out of here was making its way slowly towards them. He had been thinking about it all day, when they had him toiling on their stupid expansion project. There were to many guards keeping an eye on them for any escape to be possible, but if the herd hit, they would be too preoccupied with the walkers to notice any breakout attempt. There was of course no guarantee that the herd would attack, not unless they found a way to draw their attention.
Now what he needed to do was make the others see that to, not an easy task. It had become clear to him during the time they spent in the truck that the group had fallen into defeatism. Any suggestion he had made about escaping before they were thrown into this fucking rat cage had been instantly shouted down by Rebecca, Alvin and Carlos. Always saying he was going to get them killed and constantly pointing out how his rescue attempt had failed and cost lives. He felt bad for what had happened to Walter and Pete, he really did, but he was sure they would have understood.
"I was trying to save them. At least I fucking did something instead of running off. If Luke had helped, we wouldn't be in this mess."
Other than Sarita, he hadn't found any support amongst the others. Nick and Ellie had spent most of the time glaring and throwing insult at him almost every opportunity they got. Sarah sat next to her father, doing her best to cover her ears and not cry her eyes out. Matthew had been of no help at all, he just sat with his back against the wall and stared at the floor, mourning in silence.
"Guess I can't blame him for that."
He sighed somberly and took another mouthful of soup. God, he missed Walter. Say what you want about the man and his rambling about history, he always managed to lighten the mood and unlike the people here he sure knew how to cock a good meal.
"I'm sorry Walt. Wish I could tell you that, you didn't deserve to go out the way you did."
The loss of Walter and Pete had shaken them all. Kenny had expected sorrow and anger from the group, but not the damn spinelessness. The other adults believed that they should just sit tight and put their faith in Luke coming to the rescue. Kenny couldn't fathom it, even after he had told them how Luke had refused to help him and abandoned them to Carver, Rebecca and Carlos still insisted that he was their best hope. He snorted at the absurdity of it all. If Luke had any sense – which Kenny strongly doubted – he would find Clementine and take her as far away from Carver as he could, preferably north to Wellington.
He felt a hand on his shoulder and Sarita sat down beside him. Her presence was a light piercing the dark cloud hanging over him. He felt his heart leap with joy, and it brought a smile to his face.
"Kenny, I heard what happened. Are you okay?" Sarita's face expressing a mix of relief and concern. Always so considerate, God what a lucky man he was to have her.
"I'm fine hun. It was a close thing there for a second, but I got out of it with only a few bruises," he assured her.
He leaned in and pecked her on the cheek. Her smile radiated like a sunrise, and he suddenly found it difficult to sit still, he felt as if he had enough energy in him to run ten miles. He took her hand into his and gave it a light squeeze.
"It could have been a lot worse; did you hear about Reggie?"
"No, what's happen?"
"Carver threw him of the roof. I saw the body when we were heading in." His tone became hard with anger simmered just under the surface. Sarita gasped; her eyes wide in shock. "He did it in front of Ellie to, the sick fuck."
To be honest, Kenny hadn't liked Reggie that much. Oh, he was friendly, and likeable in his own way, he had told a few jokes that actually made Kenny laugh. But he was also trying his best to suck up to Carver and that was something Kenny could not get onboard with. Kenny sighed, remembering Reggie's blood-stained broken form and the frozen expression on what was left of his face. He may not have liked the guy for trying to make them all drinking the cool aid like him, but that didn't mean he deserved what he got.
"Why?" Sarita voice was low and frightened.
"I don't know." The thought of trying to rationalize Carver actions made the anger boil over and his voice rose with it. "Not sure Carver had a reason; don't think he needs on. The guy's a fucking psycho!"
"Kenny please, not so laud." Sarita threw a glance over her shoulder at the small table by the loading door where three of Carver's people – two of them guards – were giving out food. If they had noticed his outburst, they did not show it.
"It's the fucking truth. The bastard sent Ellie out to bring us nails, even though he knew it was dangerous. She was there when the walkers attacked. She got cut off from us and had to fight a bunch of them on her own. She could have died! We haven't even been here a whole fucking day yet and he's already murdered Reggie, almost got Ellie killed and from what Rebecca is saying it sounds like he's tortured Alvin to within an inch of his life! We need to get out of this fucking death trap before he kills someone else."
Some of the tables other occupants were glancing in his direction.
"Good, maybe they'll finally get their act together if they heard the brutal truth laid out for them."
"Kenny, please, I agree with you, but you have to be more careful with what you say. If they overhear you…" Her eyes darted in the direction of the guards. "I don't want to think about it."
Seeing her afraid was like a dousing rain on the fire of his rage. Kenny took a deep breath and let it out in a long sigh before he spoke softly, "I'm sorry, hun. You know I… I didn't mean to scare you. It's just… this fucking mess."
"I know." She squeezed his hand gently. "It's getting to us all, but we need to keep our heads and our voices low if we are to have any hope of getting out of this."
"Yeah, yeah your right." He smiled and placed another soft kiss on her cheek. "Have I ever told you how lucky I am to have you."
"Every day," she answered with a smile of her own and kissed him.
The moment her lips touched his, it sent a thrill of excitement through him. His heart doubled its beats, warmth filling his cheeks, and his stomach was full of butterflies. He closed his eyes and for a few blissful moments he forgot all about Carver, Howe's, and the walkers. He wished he could take her somewhere private – preferably warm and soft – where it would be just him and her. A part of him wanted this moment of bliss to go on forever, but like all good things it ended to soon and she broke away.
He opened his eyes again and found her warm smile greeting him. His mouth stretched into a wide grin and was about to complement her beauty again, but she spoke first.
"Now let's eat before our food gets cold."
He let out a chuckle. They spent the next several minutes eating in silence, the quiet was only interrupted by the chewing of food, scratching of utensils and hushed whispers passing between the other occupants of the table. Kenny watched them all thoughtfully as he chewed his food.
Nick and Mike were in a hushed conversation at the end of the table, and Vanilla Ice did not seem to like what he was hearing. Kenny suspected that Mike was filling him in on what had happened out at the expansion. Maybe the news would give the redneck turd sufficient backbone to try and get out of this place.
The normally talkative Sarah was unusually quiet, her eyes downcast and she seemed to have hardly touched her food. Kenny was sure it must have something to do with what happened to Reggie. The two had known each other from before their group escaped this hell hole and since Sarah was oversensitive it was understandable that she was taking his death very harder.
Carlos was whispering words of comfort and doing his best to coaxes her to eat but with seemingly minimal success. Deep worry was etched on his face, and he kept glancing between Sarah, Rebecca – who was sitting opposite him – and the door into Howe's.
"Tragic though it was, Reggie's death may be what was needed to light the fire under these people." Or at least, Kenny hoped so, some of them were rather stubborn.
Rebecca was clearly distracted, glancing at the loading door every now and then. Hoping to see Alvin no doubt. It was a fool's hope. Kenny knew Carver would never let him go and he was sure Rebecca knew that too. Carver would torture him to death or maybe he had killed him already, either way Kenny doubted they would be able to save him.
He had seen people both before and after the outbreak that let despair take over them and stop eating, hell, he himself had done so for a time after Savannah. Thankfully, Rebecca was not such a person. She kept going, if not for herself then for the baby's sake. That earned her some points in Kenny's book. It was only too bad the rest of her personality traits were so shitty, or he might have been able to get her to listen to what he said without the constant backtalk.
Speaking of shitty attitude. The woman – Mike had told him her name was Jane – was sitting by her camp bed, as far away from everyone else as possible. She seemed to have already finished her meal and was leaning her back against the brick wall, watching them all like a hawk. He had so far not heard her speak a single word to anyone. Her main way of communicating seemed to be through glares. Out of all the people in the yard he trusted her the least, and her "fuck off, I'm a loner" attitude seriously pissed him off.
Hell, even Mike was more trustworthy, and he might be a spy, though Kenny wasn't as sure about that as he had been. He seemed genuinely shook up when he heard about Reggie's death, and he protected Kenny when he lied to Troy about how the walkers broke in at the expansion. It could be an act to try and get in with the group, but Kenny didn't think so. Spy or no, he would his life in Mike's hands over hers any day.
The last occupant of the yard sat on a wooden pallet with his back against the brick wall by the fence on Kenny's right. Matthew was staring vacantly straight ahead, the slowly cooling bowl of soup on the ground next to him, all but untouched. Kenny's brow furrowed in concern. Come to think of it, he couldn't remember seeing him eating much when they were being transported here either. That was not good, they needed all hands-on deck and in top shape if they were to make it out of this alive.
"Hun, have you talked to-" he started to say when the gate opened with a metallic squeal.
Half turning, they saw Ellie slowly enter the yard. The teen walked to the table where they handed out the food, her expression so sour that if he didn't know better, he would have thought she had bitten into a lemon. The kid had been seriously messed up out at the expansion, so Kenny was glad to see that she had been allowed to wash off all the gore and been given new clothes.
"Have you talked to her? Since it happened, I mean." Sarita asked with a note of worry.
"No, Troy sent her away before I could." As he spoke, Ellie headed for the middle of table with a hot bowl of soup cradled in her hands. Their eyes met and her expression turned from sour to angry. She quickly turned away towards the other end of the table where Nick sat. "Not sure she would even want to talk; you remember how she acted on the ride here."
"She's grieving."
"And is expressing it by being rude and pissed at me."
Kenny did not voice this thought as he knew exactly what it was like. Though fortunately unlike when he found out what Ben had done, she had only resorted to harsh words and glares when she interacted with him instead of trying to kill him. Ben had been a fuck up and Kenny still hated him for what his actions had done to his family, he would always hate him, but it was now outweighed slightly by the pity he felt for the teen.
"She will come around," Sarita continued, taking his hand and squeezed it gently. "Give it time."
"Yeah," he sighed. Sarita was probably right, the girl would calm down, eventually, but… "I wish I could, but time's not on our side. Listen hun, we are going to need everyone to work together if we are going to get out of here. Why don't you try talking to her, see if you can't get through to her and Nick. He doesn't like me either."
"I'll try."
"I can't ask for more." He raised the back of her hand to his lips and kissed it. "I'm gonna try talking to Matthew." Taking a deep breath and letting it out in a heavy sigh, he said, "wish me luck."
With a kiss on the mouth they parted, heading in the opposite direction. Matt didn't move an inch as he approached and didn't even acknowledge his presence with so much as a glance when he leaned against the wall next to him. Seeing him now, a tired miserable wreak, Kenny couldn't help but think how unlike he was from the happy outgoing witty guy he had come to know. It was as if his personality had been inverted. He missed the old Matt, he just hoped he could get him back.
"Hey Matt…" Kenny spoke with slight hesitation, unsure as to how he should approach. He had never been good at apologize and he had to confess he wasn't much better at comforting people either. His words were met with silence, Matt made no indication of having noticed him. "Do you mind if I sit?"
Kenny wasn't sure at first if Matt even heard him. After several long silent seconds Kenny was about to ask again when Matt shrugged lazily. Taking it as a sign of permission, Kenny sat down on the pallet.
"How are you holding up?"
"You lost your wife; how do you think I feel?" Matthew responded somberly, a slight crack in his voice.
Matt's words hit Kenny like a punch in the gut and a knife slicing into his chest. He took an involuntary sharp breath, shutting his eyes as images rose unbidden out of the darkest deeps of his mind. Katjaa's body on the ground, blood pooling around her head, turning her hair an even darker shade of red and slowly spreading outwards. The gun she had snatched from his hands to do the deed lying on the ground beside her. Duck, his little boy sitting unconscious with his back against a nearby tree, slowly dying of the bite on his stomach. His skin sickly pale and shallow breaths coming out in rasps. With great effort Kenny pushed down the memories back into the darkness where he wouldn't have to see them.
"I-I…" Kenny stammered, pausing to swallow the lump that had formed in his throat. He took a deep breath before opening his eyes again. "I'm sorry Matt…" his voice quivering with emotion. "What happened to Walt… I didn't mean for it to go down that way. You know that right? I was only trying to h-"
"I know." Matthew broke him off, he sounded exhausted, in both body and soul. For the first time since the conversation started, he faced Kenny. His eyes were bloodshot and sunken. "I know what you were trying to do… I have been thinking of little else since it happened. Do you think that makes me feel any better?"
"No… no I guess it wouldn't," Kenny murmured.
He looked down at his hands, unable to meet Matthew's gaze. He didn't know what to do, what the hell could he say to make things right between them? Nothing, and that was the god honest truth. But he could perhaps mend the bridge even if it was just a little, just as Ben had tried to do between them.
"I just… needed to say it. To let you know that I was trying to save him, to save all of you… and we would have…. if I had had some help." The memory of Luke turning tail made Kenny's hands clench into fists and his guilt was burned away by the rekindled rage he felt by the betrayal. He met Matthew eyes once more, his face set with burning certainty. "If Luke had helped this wouldn't have happened! But when the fucker ran away, he left me no choice but to do it alone."
Matthew was still for several long silent seconds before he rubbed his sleeve against his eyes and turned away to face one of the gaps in the fence. After a few seconds his shoulders shook with silent sobs. Kenny felt his fury ebb and he reached out for Matt's shoulder but hesitated. He wondered if he had messed up by letting his anger get the better of him and by trying to comfort Matt, he would only make things worse. With a sigh Kenny retreated and leaned the back of his head against the brick wall.
It took several minutes before Matthew sobs subsided, but Kenny did not try to talk to him again. They just sat there in silence, Matt watching the fence or what lay behind it and Kenny the clouds drifting by. Duck had once wondered what it would be like being a cloud. Kenny had thought it was a stupid question, the kind curious kids ask. But he had answered that it would probably be nice, just floating around and seeing the world. The thought of his son made his chest ache. God, what he wouldn't give to hear his boy ask him one of his stupid questions one more time, to hold him and Katjaa in his arms again.
Kenny was thankfully saved before melancholy could get a solid grip on his thoughts when Matthew broke the quiet.
"Walt wasn't the only reason you came to talk to me." Matt turned to face him ones more. He still looked miserable, but his demeanor was more determined. "You want me in on your escape plan. Yeah, I know about it. Don't look so surprise, you are not exactly quiet in your discontent. I do hope you're not planning for us all to escape Shawshank redemption style. I don't have a poster of Raquel Welch though I'm pretty sure I saw a rock hammer in the equipment shed."
Kenny felt his chest swell with joy when he heard Matt words. A smile split his beard and a chuckle escaped his throat. It didn't matter that the joke wasn't funny, it was the fact that he was trying, that a bit of the old Matt was back.
"So… are you in?" Kenny asked almost hesitantly, praying that he was not misreading this.
Matthew nodded, "yeah… I'll help. Do you have a plan?"
"The beginning of one," Kenny spoke in a rush. He felt elated and suddenly full of energy. "There are too many guards watching us to make a break for it so we're gonna need to find a way to draw the herd here to distract them."
"You want to bring the herd here!?" Matthew said incredulously, his eyes wide and misery completely forgotten.
"Yeah, the place will be in chaos. It will give us the opportunity to get out of the yard without anyone noticing."
Matthew frowned and his brow crease in thought. "But if the herd surround this place, it won't matter if we can get out of the yard. We'll be trapped just the same."
"From what I've heard the walkers are coming from the south, so we'll just go out the north side or some other way before they surround this place. Carver won't be able to follow us, hell them dead heads might even wipe this place out." Matthew looked dubious and like he was going to argue, but Kenny continued speaking before he could. "It's not foolproof I know, but it's the best we got at the moment. Tonight, we'll talk it over with the rest, flesh it out. Listen, break is gonna be over soon so when we're back inside keep an eye out for anything we can use to help us escape."
Matthew seemed to ponder it then nodded slowly. "Yeah, alright. I'll keep my eyes open."
"Good," Kenny said, he patted him on the shoulder and stood up to leave.
At the end of the table, he saw that Sarita was in an animated discussion with Ellie, with Nick and Mike watching the exchange with rapt attention. This peaked Kenny's curiosity and his mind started to race with possibilities. Maybe Ellie had seen something that could help them escape, a weakness in the defenses perhaps or the timetable for the guard shifts. She had worked in the armory that morning, maybe she had managed to stash away a weapon.
He started to walk in the direction of the table but didn't get further than a few paces before the teen suddenly slammed her hands into the table and jumped to her feet.
"I DIDN'T ASK FOR THIS!" Ellie's shrill scream cut through the air like a banshee, making everyone jump.
"What the hell?"
"Ellie, I didn't mean it like that," Sarita said, her voice calm and clear, holding up her hands in appeasement. "All I was-"
"I know what you meant!" Ellie spat and stormed off towards the sleeping area, he faces red.
"Ellie!" Both Sarita and Carlos called after her, the latter of which got to his feet.
"LEAVE ME ALONE!"
All eyes in the yard followed her as she hurried off and sat down with her back against the wall next to her bunk. She wrapped her arms around her legs, pulling them close to her chest and buried her face in her knees.
His good mood forgotten in the wake of what he had just witnessed, Kenny hurried towards Sarita; he had to know what the hell this was all about. At about the same time Nick stood up and followed Ellie. By the time Kenny reached Sarita the other adults at the table had gathered around her.
"You okay hun?" He asked as he pushed passed Carlos. "What happened? What the hell is wrong with the kid?"
"I'm fine Kenny," Sarita assured. "As for the latter." She gestured to a small bowl that had spilled some of its content on the table.
"Blueberries?" Kenny's brow creased in confusion.
"One of the guards gave it to her," Mike whispered and nodded in the direction of the goons by the door. "Said it as well as the extra soup was a reward from Carver for her good behavior."
Kenny eyed the bowl of soup next to the blueberries and although it was three quarters empty it held almost twice as much meat and vegetable as his had held when it was at the same level.
"That son-of-a-bitch." It was clear as day what Carver was trying to do, and it made Kenny grit his teeth. "Reward my ass," he growled. "He's trying to bribe the kid. Turn her against us."
"Yes, it would seem so," Carlos whispered.
"He's done it successfully before," Rebecca added, her brow furrowed in concern.
"I suggested that was the case… and, well, you saw what happened." Sarita pulled her hand through her hair nervously. "Maybe I chose my words poorly."
"Nah," Mike murmured, crossing his arms and shaking his head. "Nothing wrong with what you said. The kid's had a hard day is all, lots of changes in a short time. Between being put in here, what happened to Reggie, the walker attack and then being sent up to Carver's office. It's no wonder she on edge."
"She was in Bill's office?" Rebecca asked. She shared a glance with Carlos, both expressing alarm. The news concerned Kenny greatly as well.
"Yeah, said she was called up there right after the walker attack. Don't know what they talked about, but I get the feeling it upset her."
"He is good at that." Rebecca gave Ellie a sympathetic glance. "Bill can be just as vicious with his words as with his fists."
By the bunks, Kenny saw that Ellie had raised her head from her knees. Nick had taken a seat next to her and was trying to talk to her, though she gave no indication of hearing him, steadfastly staring down at the ground at her feet. Although it was impossible to see from this angle as well as distance, it seemed to Kenny that her body was shake slightly the same way Matthews had a few minutes earlier. The sight flooded him with equal amount of anger and pity.
Carver was an abusive asshole, who knew what he had done to her up there. He had already hit her once, the bruise on her cheek was still clearly visible for all to see. He couldn't remember seeing any fresh marks on her when she entered the yard, but who's to say the sick son-of-a-bitch hadn't given her more in places he couldn't see.
"We can't let that sick bastard get to her," Kenny whispered, putting extra emphasis on the word bastard. "We need to make sure she understands what he's trying to do."
Carlos shook his head. "I do not think for a second that Ellie could be bought by this or any bribe from him. She hates Carver, that is clear as day. I think Mike is right, Ellie misinterpreted Sarita's warning as an accusation and lashed out. That is all. She can have a short temper at times."
"A-and s-she wouldn't betray us, she's our f-friend," Sarah stammered with a hint of defiance in her voice from the safety behind her father.
Kenny blinked in surprise; he had forgotten that she was even there. "Look kid, I'm not accusing her of anything. All I'm saying is that we should make sure she understands what Carver is doing. Who knows what that guy's been trying to fill her head with."
"Probably preaching about his beliefs." Rebecca said contemptuously. "How some are born to lead, and the rest follow and all that shit. I can't see Ellie falling for that."
"How can you be so sure?" Kenny turned to Rebecca; his arms crossed. "You said it yourself that Carver can be persuasive. Look around at all the people he has duped so far."
"Because she's like me when I was that age, hot-tempered and stubborn." Rebecca's brow furrowed and her lips pressed tightly together into a thin line.
"You haven't changed much then."
"Besides, he almost cracked her skull, put that scar on her head, killed Pete and punched her. If you were in her position, would you join Bill?"
"Well, when you put it like that." Scratching his head, Kenny had to concede that she had a good point. "Still though, no harm in talking to the kid. Just to make sure she's okey and find out what Carver told her. He might have let something-"
"Alright people, breaks over!" Tavia's sharp voice cut through the air drawing everyone's attention. Carver's second in command stood in the middle of open gate and watched them all with undisguised suspicion, her rifle held at the ready. "Get back to work."
The group glanced at each other.
"We can talk more about this his later," Kenny said in a low voice.
He received nods and whispered agreements from the others. The group almost as one headed for the door and whatever job awaited them. Sarita touched his shoulder as she passed, giving him a reassuring smile. He smiled back but did not follow her and instead looked around the yard.
He was pleased to see that Matthew had gotten to his feet and was moving to join the others with a speed and determination in his steps that had not been there this morning. Their eyes meet and Matt gave him a discreet thumbs up. Kenny nodded back. Nick and Ellie were not far behind Matt, walking at a more leisurely pace. Though the kid seemed to have calm down – which was good – she now had a haunted expression on her face. Kenny could only guess the reason why and few of them were good.
"You!" Tavia spoke sharply. Kenny turned and found her looking right at him. "Get moving, back to work."
"Yeah, yeah," Kenny said, giving her a withering look and headed inside. "Fucking slave driver."
As he past the threshold to the store he heard her give the last occupants of the yard their orders.
"Nick, you're going with him out to the expansion; Bill wants more people on hand after what happened earlier. Ellie you're gonna help clean out all the stuff at the expansion that they don't need and move it inside Howe's. After that, your gonna help Becca in the storeroom. Got it? Good, now go."
"They're sending her out there again!"
Kenny felt a powerful urge to turn on the spot, march back and punch the woman square in the face and keep punching until there was nothing but red ruin left. But he remembered what Sarita had said, they needed to keep their heads low. Kenny was a man of action; so, it was easy to say but no small thing for him to do. It took a great effort for him to reign in the violent impulse. One of the things that helped him do so – other than Sarita's words – was the promise he swore himself. If he got the chance during their escape, he would kill Tavia… Carver too and anyone else who stood in their way.
If Kenny in that moment hadn't been so lost in his angry thoughts, he might have seen the figure standing in the shadows of one of the shelves. Brown eyes watched him as he passed before turning their gaze in the direction of the teenage girl leaving the yard. The corners of the figures mouth twitched upwards into a smile.
