Emma

"Just so that we're clear…" I said quietly, as I opened the doors to the entrance of the Reception Hall, with Killian and Neal in tow behind me. I said slowly to them as we entered the room, "This isn't just some high school dance where you two are going to fight over me." I turned and faced them, maintaining my expression so that I seemed nonchalant and mellow. I frowned at them.

White disco lights spun around the room like soaring stars and over the dimed lights and dancing couples on the dance floor, Truly Madly Deeply by Savage Garden played on the surround sound stereo. I spotted my son and Violet, who were still lost in each other's eyes. I said evenly, "It shouldn't be long now before they do the toast and cut the cake, then we can hit the ground running." I skimmed the room. Snow and David spotted us and waved, and they went on dancing. I could see Granny in the far north corner, holding baby Hope. She wore a silk light lavender dress and a matching head band with a white satin flower on her forehead. My body wanted to bolt forward to go and hold her, which I planned on doing.

Neal sighed and said rationally, "I think we should tell Henry after they do the cake."

I nodded and shrugged my shoulder, thinking about cake. "It is vanilla buttercream filled with raspberry. I wouldn't mind a piece."

Killian stood closer to me and said softly, "And I wouldn't mind some rum myself."

I concentrated on his flask of rum, the one with his name written on it in cursive on it and held out my palm and it produced into existence. I pressed my lips together and gave him a look as I handed it to him. I held his gaze for a moment and insinuated knowingly that this bickering with Neal had to stop, but I didn't want to say it because I didn't want to argue with him.

I arched a brow at him and then glanced back at Neal.

Killian took the flask with a flicker of a grin and watched me as he popped open the lid and took a swig of it. He smacked his lips and said under his breath, "Well what was I supposed to bloody do? He keeps hitting on my wife." Killian lifted his flask in a perfunctory gesture in Neal's direction and stared at him. Neal looked back at him gravely and ticked his eyes to me. "That's bad form, mate." Killian added through his clenched teeth.

Neal furrowed his brow back at my husband, his expression innocent and docile like he didn't know why Killian was rather peeved at him.

I lifted my left hand to whisk away any further arguments. "It doesn't matter. What matters is figuring out where Zelena is and if Gold has her."

Neal said calmly, "I wasn't hitting on you, Emma." He side-glanced at Killian for a second and then focused on me. He whispered, "I just figured Hook wouldn't want to come because he wouldn't want to be around me." The men stared each other down in a very casual manner as if they were discussing the champagne or the three-tiered cake nearby on a table near the east wall, near dozens of violets, eucalyptus, white roses and clear glass plates.

Killian glared coldly at Neal. "I think I'll go where my wife goes. Sorry, but I don't bloody trust you," Kilian replied casually.

I rolled my eyes and exhaled, irritated. I put my palms up, still trying to appear inconspicuous. "Guys, come on. Seriously? Killian look, I said it doesn't matter. We're married," I kept my tone soft. I turned to look at my co-parent. "And Neal?"

Killian scoffed in agreement and lifted his head with one eyebrow lifted as he gazed at Neal with pride.

Neal braced himself and looked at me expectantly.

I could tell Neal was lying. He had been hitting on me, but he was trying to convince not only us, but himself that he wasn't trying to make a pass at me. I could tell by the yearning in his eyes. I wanted to keep that discreet and not add to the drama. I said to Neal in a low voice, "Let's not do this here. We'll talk about this later. I think that it's best if we all go." I looked at my husband.

Just then, Henry got on the stage and held his microphone in his hand and said over the speakers, "All right, can I interrupt the slow dancing, and announce that it's time to do what we've all practiced. Operation dance-off. You all remember the dance. Men over there on that left side, ladies on the right." He lifted his eyes and smiled as he stared at the entrance door.

My gaze flew to where Henry was watching.

Belle entered the doorway, dressed in a long, beautiful light lavender gown with a light smile on her face. "I'm sorry we're late." She glanced up at Mr. Gold, who wore his debonaire suit and tie, and posed with a congratulatory smile in Henry's direction.

"Yes, my apologies also. Belle and I were rather busy, working on research on our next pending beast of doom. But enough of that. Let us focus on you. And Violet. My sincere congratulations. We are here for the dance-off, as we promised."

Belle's sweet smile widened. Behind her, walked in Lily. She avoided eye contact with Neal and glanced across the room at Henry and Violet with a tight smile. Neal took a step towards her, but she turned her back and walked towards the right side of the room, as folks cleared the dance floor. Grumpy climbed the side steps of the stage.

"And I will be the judge of the dance off," Grumpy said as he stood beside Henry.

Henry smirked at me as I took Killian's hand and we encroached the dance floor, and then split into our divided groups of men and women.

Henry moved the mic up to his mouth and said gleefully, "Violet and I are so happy you could all make it. Since Mrs. Mills and I never had our prom, we decided to begin a new tradition. Of a dance in contest to dance to this song, Dance Off." He pointed to the DJ in a blue and red lit corner. Henry continued and looked at Mr. Gold, Belle and Lily, "You are just in time. It's 8:15. Time for the dance off. May the best group win." He hopped off the stage and joined the men's side.

Lily and Belle joined the crowd of the women. I stood in front, center of the women, and gazed at my husband lovingly and lifted my palms as if challenging him. We had practiced this song with everybody last night after the men had worked on their song. Killian stood next to Henry, along with Robin, David, Mr. Gold, as well as the dwarfs, except for Grumpy. Archie even added himself to the lineup of the men.

Mom stood beside me along with Lily and Belle. Violet grinned blissfully as she stood beside me. I hugged her and said lightly with a smile, "Mrs. Mils. I still can't believe it."

She nodded and said in her light voice, "My dream came true."

Regina stood on the other side of Violet and gave her a hug. Regina whispered to Violet, "I am truly happy for you." Regina faced Robin across the room with a challenging smirk. He mirrored it as he lifted his chin.

Grumpy's voice boomed throughout the room as he said, "Everyone. Begin the dance-off. May the odds be forever in your favor." He lifted his hands and glanced between us.

Our contest song, Dance Off by Idris Elba and Ryan Lewis began. After the intro of the song began, the women began started shimmying to the left then the right as the men took four steps towards us with smug, challenging expressions. The men began dancing in uniform too as they watched us with smirks.

My group of ladies took four steps frontwards and broke into a body roll dance as we slowly moved our bodies in unison to the left. We all moved to the left then to the right and did a body roll again and shimmied our bodies again. I moved my hips left and right and then kept my gaze locked on Killian's, who moved expectantly along with the rest of the men in his line. He took two steps along with the men and stepped to the left, then to the right. As it was the men's turn to show off their moves, they broke into quick club moves, all in uniform with their moves. I watched in marvel, as Killian moved perfectly to the rapid, energized lyrics and beat of the song Henry had chosen. I grinned as Henry watched Violet with a challenging smirk on his face as he bounced to the booming bounce that bumped loudly from the speakers. They all faced the right and moved their bodies to the music, suggestively with their shoulders shifting left to right.

The men finished their part of with proud smirks.

I took a few steps forward, along with the line of the ladies. We wiggled and lifted our hands near our waist, to the beat of the song as we wiggled our hips and then moved them in circles as we spun quickly to the beat of the music and then moved rather provocatively with gracefully choreographed moves. I swayed my hips to the left then the right as I held Killian's gaze. He had that devilish smirk on his face as if conveying that he wanted me right now as he watched me intently. I moved and twerked in fluid movements and danced in a half circle to the left with poise and dignified moves and lifted my chin proudly as I watched my husband and finished our part of the ladies' portion of the dance.

After we all finished our dance off, Grumpy grinned and lifted the mic to his mouth as he announced, "I think it's safe to say that the lovely ladies win this round." He lifted his palm towards we women theatrically and exclaimed, "Well done. The ladies always have the upper hand, right?"

After everyone applauded, I looked up at Kilian, who was already staring down at me, his eyes intense as if he wanted to say something. I could nearly hear his thoughts, knowing that it would have to do with both Mr. Gold and the behavior of Neal towards me.

Killian began, "Swan, I…"

Henry came up to me with Violet right behind him, both grinning from ear to ear. Henry wrapped his arms around me and hugged me. He pulled back and said to me with a smirk, "So what were you, Dad, other Mom and Hook talking about before the Dance Off?" He lifted his brows expectantly.

The music slowed down to a romantic, heartfelt song, I Do by Paul Brandt. I parted my lips and blinked my eyes as I side-glanced at Killian, my mind racing as to what to say to his insightful question. I smiled nonchalantly, noticing Violet slip her hand through Henry's, watching me, awaiting a response as well. Killian's hand rested on my waist.

I replied evenly, "Just that we may have a lead. So, when do you go on your honeymoon?"

Henry arched a brow higher, his expression comically annoyed and skeptical. "Mom. Come on you know you can never fool me. And we leave for Disneyland in about half hour." He wrapped his arm around Violet's shoulders and hugged her into him. Violet seemed giddy with excitement. Henry chuckled and glanced back at Regina who was dancing now with Robin. Neal and Lily were in deep, intense discussion as they moved to the music. Henry faced me again and added, "And what lead?"

I glanced up at Hook, then quickly over to locate Mr. Gold, who was speaking with Belle and Zelena, who rolled her eyes at him in response to whatever it was they were discussing. She even put her hand on her hip. Gold took Belle's hand and said something in her ear. Gold quickly shifted his gaze to us, and then with one fluid, graceful movement, he swept Belle to the dance floor. She beamed as they embraced one another and took a vacant spot on the dancefloor and began swaying to the beautiful music. It was a fitting wedding song.

Henry murmured softly, "Mom. No way." He looked at Gold across the dancefloor dubiously and then raised his eyebrows at me and Hook. I swiftly glanced at Zelena, who was chatting with Regina and Robin now in a huddle. Regina appeared curious and surprised, probably because Zelena had turned up at the reception. Zelena indifferently shook her head and flipped back her hair in a prideful movement and shrugged her shoulders and casually shook her head at Regina with a soft smile as if nothing was wrong, but I could tell something was not right.

"You're kidding?" Henry said as he stared at Killian and I, now avoiding looking over at Regina and Zelena and Gold and Belle.

I whispered, "Your Dad found the lead. We're going to investigate. Why don't you and Violet go enjoy this dance? I know you requested this one." I smiled warmly at my son and daughter-in-law. Violet replied, "I chose this one for Henry." They shared a look of deep love.

Henry turned to me as he squeezed Violet's hand. He said under his breath, "Can't I help you after this dance? It could be another operation." I slightly frowned and gave him a look of disappointment. Henry cocked his head to the side and added smoothly, "We want to help." He glanced back at his wife, who nodded earnestly, still clinging onto Henry.

I replied sincerely, with an earnest yet loving gaze, "How about Operation Disneyland for you. Henry, this is your Honeymoon." I smiled adoringly at Violet, and then stared back at my son. I placed a hand on his shoulder and continued, "You both need to go. We got this." I flanked back at Killian, who slid his arm around my waist. I knew that we would eventually need to discuss Neal, but that was the least bit of my worries.

Henry considered this with a silent look at me and muttered, "I know. But I feel bad not helping you guys. Especially if it's grandpa. I want to know."

I raised an eyebrow at Henry, encouraging him to remain on track of his plans for the Honeymoon. "I will let you know, but don't lose focus on your wife. On your honeymoon. Also, Disneyland tickets are not cheap, nor is the stay. So, after this dance, you both need to go and enjoy this. It's essential not to miss out on your Honeymoon. Don't stop living your life because of this."

Henry pressed his lips into a soft smile at me as he traded a decisive, agreeing look with his wife.

Killian reached out to pat Henry's shoulder encouragingly and said to him, "Your Mother and I will take care of this. This is more important for both of you."

Henry nodded and led Violet to the dance floor. They moved in a slow circle, as Violet threw her arms around his shoulders and snuggled into him, her cheek on his shoulder. His arms tightened around her back.

Killian pulled me a little closer against him, and whispered in my ear, "You can't let anything get in the way of love." When I detected the sense of earnest significance in his words, I looked up at him knowingly. His eyes were grave.

I tilted my head to the side, and said, "I know you're not talking about them anymore."

He glanced in the direction of Neal and Lily, who were now at the border of the dance floor, in deep discussion. Killian faced me, rolling his eyes and said to me, "I'm going to say this once more Love." He inched closer to me and pulled my hip with his hand as he pulled me gently to the dance floor. I moved with him and moved my arms so that they draped on his shoulders. We gradually swayed to the music of I Do which was still playing.

I sighed and glanced around the room, checking that everyone was still present. I faced Killian and softly replied, "And what's that?"

He paused for a moment and replied, "You cannot deny that Neal was making a pass at you. Why would he try and get me out of the way, just to go on an investigation which I clearly should be a part of?" He gave me an intense, skeptical, knowing look. He softened his eyes and whispered, "Do you deny that?"

I swiftly glanced Neal's way again before he could catch my gaze. He seemed like he didn't want to leave the reception without me. Lily was still talking with him. He faced her and engaged in the conversation.

Killian arched an eyebrow and cocked his head to the side as he gently rubbed my back. He said, "I'm only noticing his casual glances your way as well. Should I not be concerned?"

I licked my lips and replied carefully, my voice soft, "I guess you should."

We stared at each other with such intensity. It took a while for him to respond. HE held my gaze and then murmured, "What do you reckon I should do about him? Because in all honesty, Emma, I'm about to lose my patience. And I don't mean to scare you. But if he tries anything again, I will not hold back. I'm sorry, but you're my wife and there is no excuse for him chasing after my wife." His words held no accusation towards me. His tone was full of concern. And his eyes held strong love and a hint of worry. His expression was grave and promising.

I grimaced and let out a long breath. I carefully chose my words as I replied evenly, "I understand how you feel. I don't blame you. But honestly, we need to focus on Gold right now, and then we can deal with this. Not to discount your feelings about…him. But for me, there's nothing to worry about."

He stiffly nodded, as if discouraged in a way. He let his hand drift up my back as he held me. He contemplated my words and weighed them, not seeming to move on from the topic of Neal just yet. He searched my eyes carefully and then said, "Were you considering going on that excursion with him later? While I stay at home with Hope?"

I thought about that and shook my head. "Well, personally I rather not go anywhere without you. Not that I don't trust you with Hope. But the thing is, do you trust me?"

He gave me a strange look as if I were being ridiculous. He inched his head back just a little, as if taken aback by my inquiry. "Of course, I trust you, Swan. What kind of question is that?"

"That's all that matters then," I replied evenly, hoping that it would satisfy his concern about Neal. I pondered his silence for a few moments, as we slowly moved to the music. I listened to the words of the song, realizing that it was fitting. When Killian only heaved a sigh, instead of responding to me, I said, "That's all that should really matter, right? How I feel about him?"

He gazed back at me guardedly. He blinked pensively and said in a low voice, "It matters yes. But I want to know how you truly feel. I know you've told me that you don't have feelings for him. I just know that you were happy when he came back. And I know you still loved him even up until we got together. It seems to me that he knows this too."

"I told you none of that matters anymore," I replied with a serious tone, keeping my expression controlled and calm. "Why can't you just let this go, Killian?" I asked with firm sincerity, keeping love in my tone.

His brows moved upward as if almost in disbelief. He replied, "Well how about this? Why don't you tell him that? That you don't love him anymore. And then I will let this go." He tilted his head as he suggested this, awaiting my response. I didn't know what to say to that. I could do what he suggested, but did I want to do this tonight? Pull Neal aside and tell him that I bluntly didn't love him and to basically leave me alone in that way?

"There's too much on our plate for us to deal with him in this regard right now, Killian." My tone was warm but firm.

"Aye, I know that. But its either that, or I make him walk the bloody plank. So to speak." He raised an eyebrow expectantly at me. He dipped his chin to encourage me to respond with my thoughts.

I bit my lower lip, contemplating if he meant he'd fight Neal or not. He seemed very serious. I gave him a loving, ardent gaze, conveying my deep feelings for him. "Okay, but honestly, like I've said, I don't want to do this here," I replied with a soft, even tone, "Unless you want to grab Archie over there and bring him over here and we can schedule a session."

Killian looked confused as he gazed at me, almost like he considered that. His eyes widened, as if slightly shocked. "Do you honestly mean that?" he asked dubiously, his eyes flat and the edges of his mouth drawn downward.

Did I mean that? Did I think it would be best to continue therapy? It wasn't a bad idea, although I didn't want to go back on my word that we were all right and didn't need marital counselling. It would more than likely be a setback if I mentioned more marital therapy, but then again, Killian could not get past the return of Neal, and that I used to love him. I would just speak with Neal about this entire matter.

The song ended, and then another slow, sweet one began. I recognized this number, since Henry and Violet had mainly chosen oldies but goodies, or at least oldies to them. This song playing over the surround sound speakers was Never Say Never, by the Fray. Another perfect one. Especially for Mine and Killian's current situation. It was like all of these songs kept singing our feelings, even though they were meant for my son and Violet, they still screamed the words my heart, and I was certain, Killian's heart, were silently screaming.

I blinked my eyes, quite caught off guard, and opened my mouth to reply to Killian, as I slowly shook my head. "I-I don't think we should talk about that right now, Killian." I lowered my gaze, trying to avoid the disappointment that was inevitably in his eyes. That stab of pain that I didn't want to see. He remained silent for a few beats. I dragged my eyes back up to his face. He frowned; his gaze drenched in sorrow. He sighed and slowly shook his head as if to demonstrate his deep discontent.

He cast a dubious glance to the side and rolled his eyes around as he replied, "Well, we already are Love, so we might as well finish this conversation." His arms were still around my waist, but I noticed they slacked just a little bit. I kept my hands on his shoulders and sighed as I glanced around the room and noticed Belle and Gold talking with Zelena. Belle motioned her hand towards the exit doors, and she seemed to be speaking earnestly and passionately. Gold studied her carefully and ticked his gaze to Zelena, then back to his wife.

"I wonder what they're discussing so earnestly," I whispered to Killian.

I heard him exhale. "I'd love to finish our discussion first."

I ripped my gaze from Belle and Gold and Zelena and looked into my husband's concerned eyes. I said softly, "Look Honey, I think we should save this for later on tonight. We really need to figure out what's going on with them." I cast a quick look in Belle's direction.

Killian lifted his chin and looked upward at the ceiling while he clenched his jaw, his trademark response to anything he was irritated with. He looked down at me and flashed me a sarcastic smirk and replied evenly, "That's your bloody response to anything serious when I attempt to talk our issues at hand out, Swan. To tell you the honest truth, I'm bloody tired of it. Either we are fine, or we are not." His tone made my heart skip a beat and my stomach drop. I felt like he had punched me in the gut.

I inhaled deeply after I realized I had been holding my breath as we stared into each other's eyes. The song changed to Far Away by Nickelback. It actually made me feel more emotional. My eyes filled with tears as I gazed back at him. We had stopped swaying to the music, but our arms were still loosely around each other.

His eyes were fierce with determination and both anger and panic. His intense stare startled me because I knew that he was no longer going to stand for prolonging this argument off, and he had lost his patience. Something that rarely happened with him when it came to us.

It took me another few seconds before I could gather my words and my thoughts to form a sentence. I dropped my eyes to his chest and slowly moved my hands over his heart. I dared to look into his eyes again. They were so troubled and even full of fear now, but there was an underlying emotion there that scared me. Anger? Perhaps impatience, I hoped.

I let out a gradual breath and tried to calm down. My thoughts were scattered as were my emotions. Why was everything happening all at once? I wanted desperately to fix this issue with Killian, but I also wanted to investigate what was transpiring with Belle and Gold, and also Zelena.

I gently replied, "I'm sorry Killian. But here? Honestly?" I glanced outside to indicate that we should move this conversation there first.

He clenched his jaw and slid his hand down to catch mine and strode with purpose and fortitude towards the exit doors, with me in tow. I caught up to him, realizing that he was beyond serious. He was rather pissed off. It took a lot to get him to that level of emotion with me.

He led me outside, to the outskirts of the garden, past a tree, near a dark place where there was nothing but rose shrubs, off to the side of the building, where we would be out of ear shot.

He faced me, his eyes wrought with frustration, but also deep regret. I also saw a grave sadness in them as he stared down at me, hard.

He was breathing hard as he said in a low, gruff tone, "Clearly, we are not all right, Emma. We go over this same argument so much that I fear that we won't resolve it, unless you confess what you truly feel." His eyes roamed down to my dress then up to my eyes. I heard the doors open, and then Gold, Zelena and Belle walked into view, but they didn't notice us. They walked at a casual pace down the sidewalk, obviously leaving the party.

My first reaction was to follow them, but I knew I shouldn't chance that right now. Killian was not to be put off any longer, and he was right.

Killian side-glanced at the three people disappearing down the sidewalk along the street. His eyes flickered around us, then landed back to me. His eyes softened as he licked his lips and blinked his eyes. I noticed he had tears in his eyes as He held my left hand and looked at my wedding band.

He slowly dragged his eyes to mine and said in a low voice, "I need you to tell me what is going on with your thoughts and your heart."

I took a deep breath and replied softly, "Killian. I know we are not okay right now. But I also know that I love you and only want you."

He stared at me, analyzing me carefully as if to detect a false claim in my words by searching my eyes. He shook his head and replied gently, "That may be, Emma but just tell me that you still love Neal."

I drew my head back, flabbergasted by his accusation and the fact that he truly believed that. I didn't respond at first because I was searching my heart to truly answer him honestly. Did I love Neal? I did. But I also loved Neal more like a friend, and a co-parent. If I had to be true to myself, and to my own husband, I had to admit that I still had a little love for Neal and a place in my heart for him. I would always have that for Neal, my first love. But now I loved Killian so fiercely and deeply that I knew he was what I wanted, so I parted my lips to speak.

Killian's eyes were watering, but he clenched his jaw despite it, seeming to be fighting back more tears. Clearly my hesitation at his question had spoken volumes.

He swallowed hard and said before I could speak, "That is clearly a yes. Isn't it, Swan?" His eyes were shining with unshed tears.

I sighed, feeling a huge emotional lump in my throat and rushed to reply. Killian dropped my hand, but I stepped forward, right against him to where I was almost hugging him as I stared hard into his eyes.

"Yes." I sighed as my voice trembled, but as I choked down a cry, I quickly continued, "But I love you more, Killian. More than anyone or anything. I only want you. I only want to be with you, you have to know this." My face was heated, and I was breathing hard.

He looked away as he let out a dry, humorless chuckle. He stepped away from me and shook his head as he tore his gaze away. I noticed that he was watching Neal and Lily walking together, as if in the same direction as Gold, Belle and Zelena had been, but they didn't seem rushed. They actually seemed to be in sync with each other, for once, not arguing. Lily even took Neal's hand. Neal picked up his head as if realizing he was being watched. He glanced back at us, his eyes narrowing as if trying to see us. He quickly dragged his eyes back to Lily then shook his head as she cast us a curious glance.

At an attempt for humor, and to lighten our deep, dreaded, and might I add, awkward conversation, I said softly, "See? He's moved on." I lifted my arm in Neal's direction as he and Lily walked down the road and disappeared behind a tree.

Killian scoffed, which alarmed me. I swallowed my thickening throat as Killian dragged his misery filled eyes, full of both remorse and resolve. That scared me. My body ran cold, like chills were rippling inside of me.

He said in a low, skeptical voice, "No, he hasn't. And I reckon neither have you." He gave me a long, accusing but also sullen stare. He nodded once as I stammered and replied, "What? I can't believe you're accusing me of wanting him!" I knew I had raised my voice at him, and it stunned him, but I couldn't help exploding.

He drew back his head as he analyzed me intricately. His throat tightened and his eyes hardened just a bit, but they were also full of love and loss, and deep grief. He shook his head slowly and replied, "But it is bloody true, isn't it Swan? You love him. And you cannot love another man if you hope to remain in a marriage with someone else." He appeared both full of misery but also anger and fear.

I felt he had slapped me across the face. I opened my mouth to speak. I was about to yell something just as equally hurtful, but then I noticed Henry and Violet emerging from the front of the building, both grinning and holding hands. I remembered what that joyful, lifting feeling felt like, as if we once were on top of the world, never more in love than we had ever been. That was how my son and his new wife appeared. They smiled at one another, so deep in love as they hugged each other closer and made their way eagerly to their getaway car that had a sign that said Just Married with white and violet balloons all around it, decorated with purple streamers. Off to Disneyland. If only Killian and I could feel that much hope and joy.

I frowned, as reality hit me like a freezing bucket of water. Killian had stopped to watch the newlyweds leave too. He focused back on me and sighed heavily.

I remembered it was my turn for a response, so I choked back a sob at the painful look on Killian's face. He looked like he was being tortured and defeated, just like he had been back in Hell, when Hates had him tied up and beaten to a bloody pulp. My heart felt almost physical pain at the sight of Killian's expression, like he was watching me being murdered or something equally gruesome.

I whispered, "Maybe we do need more therapy." My voice was full of regret and agony.

Killian's eyes filled and then a tear leaked down his cheek. He sniffed and looked away, as if hiding it from me. He scrubbed the tear away and dragged in a short breath and dragged his eyes back to me.

I sniffled, realizing I was silently crying too.

"I bloody knew it. I knew you still loved him," he said, his voice hoarse.

"Killian, that doesn't matter!" I said as I reached for him to hold his arms. He didn't move out of my grip, but he didn't return it either. He looked heavenward and shook his head again.

I added zealously, "I am telling you once and for all that I do not want him. I will always have a place in my heart for him, yes, he was my love once, but not anymore. You are. I want to be married to you, and this should not interfere with our marriage."

"But it does, Swan." He replied as he took a step back away from my grip. He scoffed and added, "It matters to me. I cannot stand the way he looks at you and knowing all along that you have feelings for him. It's as if I don't fully have you as my wife."

"Why can't you get over this?" I exclaimed. I felt tears flood down my cheeks. I felt like yelling at him, and yet I wanted to stop fighting and repair our marriage. I couldn't understand why he was pushing me away now.

His brows raised at me. He gradually shook his head and pointed at me. "Why can't you?"

"Look I'm trying! I'm trying to repair this marriage, but all you do is accuse me of wanting him and I've told you countless times that I still choose you. I have always chosen you. If I didn't want you anymore, I wouldn't be with you! But I do. I don't love him like I love you. Why can't you accept that?" My voice softened as I spoke.

His eyes were still tearing up but weren't as hard as a moment before. Now he appeared like he was suffering and in pain. He sniveled and said in a low, dead tone, "I know you do."

I sighed in relief, elated that he understood what I was saying. I replied lovingly, "I'm tired of fighting, Killian. I don't know what else to do to prove my love to you and my loyalty to you."

He remained quiet as he looked downward at the grass below us. He wiped under his eyes with one finger and blinked his eyes and then faced me. He replied calmly, "I don't either. But I cannot get past the fact that you do love him. Even if it isn't as much as you say it is, it just…hurts my heart. I cannot get past that, Emma."

It was like the wind was knocked out of me. I sighed sharply and shook my head as I looked away. I felt like I couldn't get through to my own husband. What bothered me the most was that he was serious yet calmed down now when he admitted that last admission.

I let out a little snort and folded my arms and took a step back. I now felt like nothing would get resolved with us right now. "Well, it appears we are at an impasse." I shrugged, feeling deeply wounded, yet angry at the same time.

He bit down on his upper lip and averted his eyes as he gave a stiff nod. He didn't speak at first. I felt like I would break into a sob at any moment, as I held it in. He gave his head a terse shake as he lifted his eyes up at me. He looked to be in agony. He replied, "I agree. Perhaps we should tell Archie in the morning that we must immediately book an emergency session."

I nodded, admitting the defeat. I hugged myself tighter with my arms. I knew that this was not going in a good direction tonight, and there was so much unresolved with Belle and Gold and whatever the hell was happening with Zelena. It didn't seem to matter as much right now. I felt like my head was swimming, and reality wasn't really happening.

Neither of us spoke for a while. We just stood there staring at the grass, or at the dimly lit black top street. I looked at the shrubs of deep crimson roses. I felt like crying my eyes out, and I knew that would come. But I also felt like giving in.

Killian lifted his hand dutifully towards the building. "I shall do that first thing. I will call him. We should…collect Hope, and you should take her home." He quickly looked at me and swiftly looked away as if hiding his eyes from me.

I frowned. "Me?"

He nodded at what I meant. His eyes were shining, but also determined.

I attempted a shot in the dark as I voiced my thoughts, "Killian, you have to trust me. I am telling you the truth that I love you so deeply, so much that it scares me, and I always have, always will. And nothing I feel for him will ever compare. And you will not lose me, I swear to you. You won't lose me to him, and I would never, ever do anything with him or leave you."

He gave me a grief-stricken look, as if my words didn't convince him of anything that they conveyed. He sighed and wagged his head as he stepped backwards. He sniffled and said in a watery, broken voice, "I want nothing more than to have our marriage work, Swan. I will put forth my effort for it. But you just admitted to loving another man. That is a lot to process." He gazed at me like I was stabbing him.

I knew I had to let him unpack all of those feelings and thoughts, since I had finally admitted it. But I didn't love him that much or want him. "Killian…" I said sorrowfully. I reached for him with both hands to hold him. He stood there like he couldn't move. He didn't respond, but he just stared at me like it was a goodbye. I felt another hot tear slip down my face. I tried to convince him again and said, "I told you. I love you so much more. I don't even want him like that. It means nothing. Please believe me." I held on to his shoulders and squeezed my hands as I caught his gaze and searched his eyes. I tilted my head to the side and whispered, "Please. Believe me. I wish it was enough to convince you."

"I wish it were too," he replied under his breath.

I felt my heart beat hard in my chest, but it was painful. I sniffled and let out a trembling breath. I said, "I don't understand why it isn't enough for you. I have moved on. With you. What is it going to take, Killian? I-I don't understand why you are focusing only on this issue when it shouldn't even matter. Why won't you just let this go?" I asked in a gentle voice.

He stared at me longingly like he felt a great loss. He looked downward and sucked in a heavy breath. He replied, "It just isn't that easy for me, Swan. I hope you can understand that. It will be difficult for me, that I know." He gestured toward the building entrance with his finger and said gravely, "Why don't you get Hope, take her home and I will be there later on."

"Why? Where are you going?" I asked apprehensively, my mind boiling again with both trepidation and fury that he was suggesting not going home right away.

"I am going to go to Gold's shop. Find the Bloody Imp and figure this all out." He sighed as he looked away for a moment.

I narrowed my eyes and sighed sharply. I retorted, "Do you remember what happened last time you walked away, Killian?" I stared hard at him. He looked at me somberly, fear brimming in them along with tears. I added harshly, "And you know that we're in the middle of a fight. Just like last time. Yet you do this to hurt me, because you know it does. Especially not taking me with you and you suggesting that."

His brow furrowed. He replied, "We're still bloody arguing." He shrugged as if it were obvious. "It's all we do anymore. I can't do it anymore, and I just need a little bit of time to cool off and collect my thoughts."

I huffed a breath in response and shook my head. "Just like last time. When you nearly died. What if something happens to you? While you're alone facing Gold?" I paused as he gazed at me with regret. I added, "Because it's clear to me that you don't want to come home with me right now." I gave him an appalled once over as I took a step back and gave him a long, heated stare.

His brow creased as worry and doubt passed through his eyes. He said carefully, "I will be home tonight, I swear it. Just give me an hour at most. Then I will come home to you."

I felt a hot stab of anger course through me. I understood that he needed space for even that hour, but it also was a slap in the face. I wanted to be with him, even right now, but he had his heart set on his mission to decompress and gather his emotions and sort through them. But it wasn't fine by me. Not when we were on shaky ground together in our marriage.

I clenched my jaw and eyed him hard with the pain that he was causing me. "You clearly don't trust me. That's what this is."

I heard him suck in a deep breath of surprise. His eyes widened with terror. He swallowed hard and said, "Emma, please. I do. It's not about him, I just want a moment. Perhaps if we calm down and take an hour, we can try again. I will come home to you." He said zealously as if begging me.

I was livid at this point now, and mostly hurt by his admission of wanting time apart. I gazed at him sullenly and replied, "Maybe you're right. Maybe we do need time apart." I knew those words would stab him in the heart, and even hurt him. I regretted it immediately, but I kept walking towards the reception hall to pick up Hope. I saw the painful way he stared after me.

I heard him said in a scared tone, "Emma, that isn't what I'm wanting at all. Please."

"Yes, it is," I said as I shot him a withered look. "I tried begging. I'm done trying to convince you to come home with me and try harder." I turned away quickly and marched towards the steps of the sidewalk to go inside the doors.

"Please, Emma. Please do not be angry with me," Killian said after me as he followed me.

"The damage is done, Killian." I whirled around and looked up at him. There were guests walking out of the double doors, probably on their way home or to finish the evening. My eyes watered at the sight of the heartbreak written all over Killian's face. He seemed like he was holding back a cry also. He parted his lips as if to say no.

I added solemnly in a flat voice, "It's obvious to me you need time. And maybe that's best. Hope and I will sleep at my parent's tonight." With that last blow, as his face fell, I tore my eyes away from him and walked into the reception hall where music still boomed overheard and gathered my Hope from Granny's arms, and hurried down the sidewalk with our daughter in my arms, not giving in to the urge to look back at Killian, as he watched me walk towards my parent's, knowing I would regret every step of the way. Perhaps this break would help us.

Playlist –

Dance Off – Macklemore & Ryan Lewis

Unforgiven – Metallica

In This Life – Collin Raye

I Do - Paul Brandt

Meet Me Halfway – Kenny Loggins

Far Away - Nickelback

Help Me Hold On – Travis Tritt

Never Say Never – The Fray

Hesitate – Stone Sour

Where Did you Go? – Jets Overheard

Lost In Paradise – Evanescence

I Will Return – Skylar Grey