"So, here we are", the Metatron said as the elevator came to halt at the highest heavenly floor, and stepped into the blinding white light.
I swallowed, looked around.
"Oh, ehm, good", I followed. "So, this is where Gabriel used to have his office then? It's got a nice view up here." Pyramids sprawled out amidst skyscrapers, the Empire State Building, and the London Eye.
"A nice view indeed", said the Metatron. "Now, why don't I give you a couple of hours to settle in. Get caught up with all the prior stuff. And then we can convene for our first supreme archangel meeting. Does that sound good, mh?"
"Uhm, yes", I started. "Ehm, actually. Where would be my, I suppose, chambers located here? You know, in case one wanted to rest a bit."
"Oh, Aziraphale, there will be no need for that. You know that us angels don't need to rest", the Metatron replied.
"Oh, yeah, right, right", I said resignedly, my eyes searching around the wide, wide, empty room with clear cut glass desk in the middle.
"So, if there is nothing you immediately need, I will leave you to it."
But as I turned around and set on to speak, I was already facing empty air. The old being had gone. Bewildered, my gaze wandered into the vastness. Alone. I was here, alone. I took a few disorganized steps toward the desk, and slumped down on the simple white chair.
"Well, let's see what we've got here", I muttered, my hand sweeping over the spotless glass surface of the desk. Not a single speck of dust. Not a single paper or note on the desk. Not a single… book. I sighed unnoticedly.
"Uhm, okay. Room, would you give me latest files Gabriel was working on, please." Three manila folders fell onto the desk with a cushioned sound. I stared at them absently.
"Armageddon, The Sequel…", I traced Gabriel's former handwriting, and what was written below the title. "…and how to prevent it", it read further, followed by a big red 'completed' stamp.
"Yeah, we found out how that one went".
My eyes paused for a second at 'the cleaning roster', irritated, and then moved onto the third and final file. The second coming.
"Here we go…", I swallowed, and flipped open the first page. I looked around, expecting to see faces, recordings, graphs, plans. Nothing happened. My eyes jumped back at the folder and locked on a single paper inside. I pulled it out, and it contained a list.
"Key points", I read. "First, Jesus returns to Earth. Second, judgement and recompensation. Third, consummation of the universe. Fourth, eternal kingdom to come."
I swallowed and stared at the paper for a long, long while. At least, I was in a place of truth, of light, of good. And I was able to make a difference.
"Are you ready?", smiled the Metatron. I looked up, for I had apparently spaced out.
"Yes, ready to get on with it", I replied in a strangely flat voice, which I chased away with a nervous chuckle. "Shall we?"
We turned around and it took only one step to enter a different room, in which Michael, Uriel and Seraquiel were waiting.
"Well, nice to see you again", I announced into the half circle of stone faces.
"Our nice young friend Aziraphale here", explained the Metatron, "will be taking the position of the supreme archangel. Thank you for your service as duty officer, Michael, it is henceforth no longer needed."
"Excuse me? ", said Seraquiel.
"The traitor?", exclaimed Uriel.
" There has to be some sort of mistake", questioned Michael. "I thought I was going to be appointed to step up, being duty officer and all."
"Well, whose idea was this? Gabriel's?"
"We can't really take orders from a treacherous demon friend."
All this was said simultaneously while I stood frozen and smiled warily at everyone.
"God herself hath decided." The voice of the Metatron, unusually loud like thunder. "She knows what is best. She always does. And it is not your place to ask questions."
Something about these words nagged in the very back of my head, but I pushed it away.
"Let's get on with our first meeting. Great plans lie before us", said the Metatron.
"So, uhm, well, I was thinking", I cleared my throat, "would it be within my jurisdiction to install a direct hoistway for some… supplies." I glanced at the Metatron, while everyone else remained silent. "You know, eh, what we had talked about… downstairs."
"Oh yes, the coffee", Metatron seemed to remember. "Well yes, that would be well within your jurisdiction. We shall have an angel of the lower 38th order deliver the requested goods each morning."
"Earthly objects, here? It's strange enough that you poison your heavenly body with these substances, but you can't force me to ingest human produce." That was Uriel.
"Now, Uriel, we will have to go with the times, won't we", replied Metatron. "Plus, it would do you some good to familiarize yourself with the customs down there, in light of what is to come".
"Yes, our holiness," Uriel gave in, but not without a distasteful glance in my direction.
"I was further thinking", I suggested excitingly, "that we ought to have some… house plants around. And maybe a coffee table. And, oh, yes, we should reorganize the offices. I've heard it can get quite lonely with all that empty space. We want a good and friendly atmosphere in here, don't we."
"Yes, all very good ideas. And so it will be, and so it will happen", said the Metatron, Michael rolling eyes behind his back. "And now, onto the big things. The world to come. Heaven on earth. Kingdom of God. Eternal life. We are going to plan… the second coming."
I nodded. Here's right where I was supposed to be. Here's right where I can change things. But why did I have the feeling that something was missing?
I can't believe it. I can't believe it. I can't believe it. Nothing else was in my mind as I watched the elevator door closing, swallowing Aziraphale and the Metatron inside. It can't be.
I don't know how long before I was able to tear myself away from the elevator door that long wasn't an elevator door anymore. On autopilot, I opened the door to my car more forcefully than I probably should have, and drove. I pressed down the gas pedal, no music, no radio, and I drove. I drove and drove and drove, mindlessly, for hours it seems, and can't really recall how I ended up here.
I stood parked in a prime valet parking spot at London Heathrow airport when I came back to my senses. The back of the Bentley full of plants.
"Well then", I exhaled between my teeth. "Just me, then."
With big steps, I arrived at the nearest counter.
"How can I help you, young man?", a friendly stewardess beamed at me.
"Book me a ticket on the earliest flight you have taking off within the next two hours."
"I beg your pardon, mister…?", asked the stewardess.
"Have you not heard me? Which flights have you got?"
"Excuse me, but that's not how it works, unfortunately you have to…", she started.
One elbow on the counter, I brought my face closer to hers. Oh, she would better not test my nerves right now. Not right now.
"Do I look like I'm joking? Book. Me. A. Seat.", I hissed, wishing see could see my wide yellow eyes through my sunglasses. I whipped out my platinum credit card and it landed between us with a loud snap. The stewardess winced and moved back ever so slightly.
"No matter the cost.", I added.
"Okay, let me check what I have for you. Give me just a moment", she stammered, hacking into her keyboard with trembling fingers. "Flight to Tokyo Narita going out in one hour and forty five, and we just had a cancellation. Just one seat though, I'm afraid. Will you need…"
"Just one seat. Business class."
"Uhm, bu-but the seat is in Economy, last row I'm afraid, I…"
Everything went nearly black for a second.
"Here is your business class boarding pass, sir", the lady said rather shaken. "Let me know if you need to check any luggage, or there is anything else I can do for you…"
"Well, yes", I interrupted. "I want my car shipped over. It's in the valet, can't miss it." I tossed her the keys. "And I warn you. Not. A. Scratch," and then I turned back right before she was out of sight, "Not for my car, not for my plants." After all, that's all I have. And all I need.
