I felt so sad. I didn't know how I would get through each moment of this time apart. I didn't see him at school. Any of them! That hurt me more than I could have imagined.
The cafeteria seemed lonelier than usual, Mike and Jessica were not here. I pulled my cell out in front of me and browsed my contacts.
"Where are the Cullen's?" Eric asked.
I looked up then looked away. He had not asked me. Everyone was already walking towards the lunch line. No prying ears! I saw his number in my phone. He didn't say if calling him was part of the distance he needed. Was it alright to call him? Then I thought of Alice and dialed her.
"Hi Bella."
"Please tell Jasper I forgive him, and I am not mad at him."
"Thanks Bella! He is ashamed that he tried to hurt you both." She sighed. "He feels terrible for terrifying you."
"He didn't. It's alright!"
"I will tell him," she said cheerily.
"It was Edward I was afraid for."
"I know."
"Edward told me everything Carlisle said."
"He is not going to stay away from you," she said prophetically.
"I feel empty without him Alice."
"It won't be forever Bella. He wouldn't be able to stay away from you forever, even if he tried."
It wasn't lost on me that she wasn't talking about the plan, but that Edward would cave to his intention. In a way I felt apologetic that they had to just disappear like that, after what happened at my birthday party.
"I am sorry all of you had to leave."
"It's alright. This time is good for me and Jasper away from everyone."
"Where are you Alice?"
"In the north, I wanted to spend some time in the high alps. Emmett and Rosalie are in Africa at the moment."
"Alice, I need to know what you see? Edward's change is dangerous. He said he needed to take away anything from him that would provoke his vampire nature, but does that mean he'll survive the change or not?"
She was quiet before she spoke.
"Bella the future hasn't changed…It's confusing what I see."
"What do you see?"
I realized Alice was seeing something of his future. She had said once before it was too confusing to make sense of.
"Bella in all the possibilities you are both together."
If Alice saw Edward and I together then it meant Edward would probably live. I breathed and closed my eyes in relief.
The first day had passed by with school and without his company, and by the end of the day I had laid on my bed and cried. On the second day of his absence, I picked up my cell and dialed his number. No answer! I called again. Hi voice box beeped after an automated leave a message request.
"Hi just checking on how you are feeling. How you are? I love you."
I hung up, hoping that nothing serious made him unable to pick up. It was strange that he hadn't answered. Was his cellphone near him? On the way home from school, I had listened to the soft notes of my lullaby on the speakers of my new stereo. I cherished the melody he had composed.
The third day passed. That morning I had hesitated to push the button for the CD. I couldn't listen to it. I couldn't cry again, he wasn't here. I found myself wondering how he was feeling. When I came home from Newton's shop, I brought the lullaby back into my room. Before falling asleep I carefully slipped it into the player and listened to it.
7th day.
I tossed and turned. What was different about tonight? I had fallen asleep…easily listening to my lullaby. I called his cell. There was no answer.
I sat at the table.
"You look a little pale Bella," Charlie mentioned.
The tears started falling.
"Bella?" He asked.
I could tell the tears made him uncomfortable.
"It's Edward Dad!"
"Edward?" He asked raising his eyebrows.
"He is not answering his phone."
"Where's Edward?"
"He's gone! They're all gone."
"The Cullen's!" Charlie said.
"They left on a trip."
"Yeah," he said suspiciously.
I shook my head. "I don't know how he is?"
"What did that kid do? I need to know what's wrong."
"He's sick!"
"Sick, DR. Cullen?"
"No, Edward is sick. Very sick!"
"What's wrong with him?"
"They don't know."
That part was true! Kind of.
"They went to a hospital. I'm not supposed to tell anyone, they don't know what's wrong with him."
I cried.
"Bella," he said awkwardly. "I'm sure he'll be fine."
He extended his hand towards me hesitantly.
"Carlisle didn't want everyone to know, the town I mean. Since they haven't found a diagnosis."
"My lips are sealed Bella," he said gently. "I have no reason to say anything. I hope he's alright."
"I just can't stop thinking that he is getting worse."
"Dr. Cullen will find a way to help him. He's Lucky his father is a doctor, and they'll have the money for any treatment he'll need Bella."
I nodded.
"Your right Dad!"
We were quiet after that. It was an awkward silence. I randomly felt his concerned eyes on me as he moved around the kitchen.
"You need anything?"
"I'm okay Dad." I said calmly. "I'll just straighten up, get my mind of everything."
"I'll order pizza! Give you a break."
"We could watch a show," I said hoping I didn't sound too miserable.
He seemed relieved in a way, though he kept giving me looks since my outburst. I tried to be cheery for Charlie.
The next day was not as painful as the rest had been. It was uncharacteristically sunny for Forks and I chose outside to eat my lunch instead of the cafeteria. It had felt better to say something even if I hadn't been completely transparent with Charlie.
"My cell wrang."
I was shocked to see it was Emmett's number."
I picked it up immediately. Had Alice forgotten to tell me something?
"Hello."
"Hey Bella."
"Emmett!"
"How are you?"
"Oh! Hi Emmett, how are you?"
"Oh, we're doing good, in Africa me and Rosalie."
"Tell Rosalie I said hi."
"Rosalie says hi, oh well she did, now she's gone."
"Oh," I said with a giggle.
His jovial booming voice was a comfort to hear.
"Is there something wrong with Edward?" I asked.
"Edward's fine. Great, even with his terrible problem. He was sure lucky to find you Bella. We all must stay away from him you know."
"Yeah," I said sadly. "I've been trying to call him?"
"Sorry, Carlisle has him under wraps. I miss him already," he said.
"Me too."
"He has the most qualified doctor on the planet to look after him Bella," he boomed.
"Your right Emmett!"
"So, Bella how's the weather in Forks?"
"It's sunny!" I was wondering why Emmett cared about the weather. "It is still the same mossy almost always cloudy place."
I was happy to hear from him. But why was Emmett calling me?
"You're probably wondering why I'm calling," he said in a happy way.
"I guess so,"
"I need to ask a favor Bella."
"A favor! Sure, whatever you want."
I was surprised by any request. What could a vampire possibly want or need from me? Especially Emmett.
"I need you to tell Rosalie how terrible it is to be human."
My mind went blank. I tried to remember the conversation I had with Edward before he left.
"Gosh Emmett I don't know what to say," I said stumped. "It's not terrible though...I don't think."
"You wanted to become a vampire before," he said.
"That was before Edward started to change back into a human. Eternity would be pointless without spending it with him. I would outlive him," I said trying to keep the sadness out of my voice.
"That happens to be my little problem," he said.
It made me sad to hear his voice sound so glum. My phone started beeping.
"Oh, just a minute Emmett, Alice is beeping in.
"Don't tell her what I said, she probably already knows."
"Okay!"
I pressed her number.
"Don't tell Edward what he said," she spoke.
"What is wrong Alice?"
"Edward didn't want to get you involved."
"About Emmett's request?" I asked bewildered.
"Though he'll know eventually," she added sagely.
"Is this about Edward turning human?"
"Yes," she said. "Rosalie is trying to find a way to become human like Edward."
I was shocked! Rosalie didn't want to be a vampire! I didn't know much about Rosalie, or what she wanted. Her polite demeanor had been a fairly recent development, we had never been friends after all. She had always believed me an intruder to her family.
"He is going to be furious when he finds out," Alice said bringing me out of my thoughts. "Carlisle definitely wouldn't have recommended it."
"He asked me to talk to Rosalie," I said.
"He asked me to prevent Rosalie from succeeding, even if she does find a way to become human."
"I better talk to Emmett, he is on the other line."
"I'll call you back when he ends the call," she promised.
I pressed his number again.
"Hey Emmett, I really don't think it's that terrible being a human though don't get me wrong, it's great being a vampire too."
"Look how terrible that's turning out," Emmett declared. "He won't be able to do things vampires can, and he has to be sick before he can change back."
"Edward's happy that he is going to be human."
"But you must admit Bella he won't be as powerful once he changes. Everything has drawbacks, he won't be as strong or fast and he probably might not be able to read our minds when we come back."
"I didn't even think about that," I said realizing how Edward's life would change.
I always knew Edward was almost invincible because of his existence, but being human would make him vulnerable. I always took how he could take care ofhimself for granted. Reading minds was a gift that was a part of him and that would disappear.
"He couldn't ever read your mind, so that won't be a change," he guffawed at his own joke.
"It's not bad to be human, Edward has always hated being a vampire."
"Yeah, the kid was pessimistic like that, but now we know one of us is going to be human again."
"Emmett no one knows how or why Edward is becoming human?"
"She has become obsessed with the idea," he said in a low voice.
It didn't sound like Emmett.
"She keeps studying and called Carlisle a bunch of times and Edward, and she keeps trying to understand what could have reversed the process. I think it was just a freaky scenario for Edward, but she doesn't agree."
"She wants to change back?" I asked.
"Yeah, I know Carlisle and Edward said all vampires were once human and that's why it's possible, but Bella Edward is one of the only vampires that this is ever happened to. One in a million-chance sort of thing."
"I get what you mean."
"And if she becomes human someday she'll die, I mean this means I'll neve see her again, I want her to at least consider the nasty parts of being human."
How could I really begrudge Emmett this. I felt such sadness just being away from Edward. I couldn't imagine or bear being separated from Edward forever.
"I'll think about it!" I spoke. "Maybe remind her of the downside of being human and the upsides of being a vampire."
"Ah, thanks Bella, Bella you're the greatest, even if you don't do it. I'm still grateful for you hearing me out. Thanks!"
"Of course, Emmett, call me whenever you want."
"I probably shouldn't have asked. You're the only human relative I have."
"Thanks Emmett."
"You and Edward are both my little sis and little bro now."
I laughed at that before saying bye. I was glad he called. It made me feel fuzzy that he saw me as family in spite of everything.
My phone wrang again. It was Alice.
"Alice!"
"Poor Emmett he is kind of desperate," she said matter fact.
"I don't know why he thinks Rosalie would listen to me, she has never liked me."
"I already told Emmett that nothing we say will change her mind," she said.
I thought it a strange situation, I wanted to be a vampire if it meant being with Edward, and he wanted to be a human if I was as well. It must have been different for Rosalie, but I really didn't know much about her dreams.
"I hope everything works out for them Alice, they seem so happy together."
"Carlisle and Edward insisted that Rosalie should have to decide this for herself, and Emmett insisted it was between the two of them. In the end Carlisle decided Emmett and Rosalie would have to work it out without involving us."
"I am only going to tell Rosalie that being human means losing your superhero powers. If I talk to her, I will just remind her that I can't crush a tree."
"Edward wanted to leave you out of the drama."
I closed my eyes at hearing his name.
"Bella?"
"Alice, it hurts to be away from him."
"I know," she said sympathetically.
"I have been trying to call him, but there's no answer."
"I am going to call him to," she reassured me. "I am going to let you know if anything changes."
"Thanks Alice."
She promised to keep in touch before hanging up. Edward would change, and I couldn't help but wonder what that would mean for him.
