Original Posted On Dec. 14, 2021

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IT'S MY BIRTHDAY! ENJOY THIS SPECIAL CHAPTER! SPOILERS, IT IS GOOFY AS FUCK, BECAUSE I MADE IT SO!

Review Response:

Calderoneric758: No problem, man. Enjoy the chapter.

Umbra Lycan: Yeah, sorry, I wasn't happy with how it was turning out.

Shin Hyo Joon: Well, with what I did, Naruto should be fine.

Son of Lupa and Hestia: Probably not.

WindCitySlayer1: Well, let's see what happens.

Gaby11: I am happy you enjoyed.

PLEASE READ: Well, I did draw an idea from this.

Garyt237: Happy to oblige.

Redmen6blight: You have the right for misgivings, but with how I took this chapter, you might drop it. Thank you for giving this story a try.

The-Silent-Ghoul1: Thank you for your support.

SPark681: It will be a while before that confrontation, but it will be fun to see.

Primarx: Thank you and yes, I do have plenty of inspiration from you and the other readers. I am always grateful.

King0fP0wers: Hm, I like Yamato. I will set up a poll. WHO WANTS YAMATO IN THIS STORY! Also, good ideas for the Yokai based characters, especially Kaido.

Guest: Yeah, my heart wasn't in it, and the fact the stuff with Kurama really dragged on. I shouldn't have done it, but I do like making my own content. Also, with the fact I don't pace myself with writing. Which causes me to make decisions that could kill the story.

WhateverPlus: Thank you for your support.

MayHemMayHem: I'm happy you enjoyed the original. Thank you for the support

Borello: Thank you.

Reader: Thank you.

Beastyd22: I will do my best.

Snake551g: Yep, let's see the journey that leads to that.

Trex0428: Doffy did try to control Luffy, in the end when he went Fourth Gear for the second time. Law's powers could easily prevent it and Doffy wanted to kill Law and watch him struggle.

Guest: No, not really.

Insitreader: Hopefully I can keep up the quality.

Reptoholic: He won't be a member of Rias's Peerage. That I promise.

Blank G0D: Thank you, I hope this chapter is good.

Will1812: Yeah, that would be interesting to have Naruto and Akeno together with their similar history.

xXwolfsterXx644: Hopefully this chapter is entertaining.

Harem:

OKAY, LETS READ THIS SHIT! I DON'T OWN NARUTO, ONE PIECE, HIGHSCHOOL DXD OR ANY OTHER ANIME I MAY REFERENCE!

"Hey" = Speaking

'Hey' = Thinking

'Hey' = Memory

"Hey"= Sacred Gear/ Communication link

Chapter 2: Familial Comrade

Human Town…

"GET THAT PERVERT!"

"KILL HIM, HE HAS A SMALL CHILD AS A HOSTAGE!"

"DAMN YOU PERVY SAGE!" Naruto shouted as he and Jiraiya ran from a mob of angry human females.

"DON'T CALL ME THAT, BRAT!" Jiraiya shouted as he grabbed Naruto and jumped atop of the houses, avoiding the thrown items.

"I FUCKING HATE YOU!" Naruto shouted as Jiraiya carried him under his arm.

Jiraiya booked it from the city and once they entered the forest around it, used his Transparency Jutsu to hide Naruto and himself as the mob ran past them.

Several minutes passed before the women gave up and returned home.

Jiraiya released his jutsu and Naruto, before his Haki coated fist collided with Naruto's head.

"OW! WHAT WAS THAT FOR!" Naruto shouted as he held his aching head, a large welt swelling, releasing his transformation jutsu that hid his ears and tail.

"That's for the language." Jiraiya stated as he had heard Naruto's F-Bomb, then hit Naruto again. "And that is for the disrespect."

"DAMN IT PERVY SAGE STOP!" Naruto shouted as he gained a second welt.

Jiraiya huffed as he took off his bag.

"Set up camp, I'll get the firewood." Jiraiya stated as he walked off, leaving Naruto to his own.

Naruto blew a raspberry at Jiraiya before he opened the toad's bag to get camp set.

Night time, Campsite…

Jiraiya groaned as he sat next to the fire, an ink brush in one hand and a manuscript in the other.

The fire cracked, sending a few sparks into the air as Naruto turned in his sleep, cuddling a toad plush in his sleeping bag.

'It has been over a month.' Jiraiya thought as he tried to focus on his manuscript, but couldn't. 'What was I thinking. Splitting the five of us apart. It could have just been a fluke, because he hasn't exhibited the conqueror's spirit since that day.'

Jiraiya face palmed and rubbed his face.

'Besides, I don't know how to raise a kid.' He thought with worry. 'What should I do? I don't know where Fujima and her kids are…'

At the memory of Fujima, Jiraiya remembered something else.

'I could ask my spy network to keep an eye out for her. Yeah, but the closest sect of my network is…' Jiraiya grumbled as he contemplated his options. 'Oh, hell, I hate going there. Its so confusing with the women.'

Setting their next destination in stone, Jiraiya sat in silence, looking up at the stars.

'Minato, Kushina, please help guide me with your son. I know I am not the best parental figure, but I will do my best with what I have.' Jiraiya thought as he put his brush down and closed his eyes for some sleep.

Next day…

"How much longer, Pervy Sage?" Naruto asked as he walked beside Jiraiya, his ears laying on his head flat and his tail moving due to his movement.

"Some place your mom would not want you to go." Jiraiya replied as they walked down a secluded pathway that led to a small beach.

The sounds of waves crashing against the rocks was heard quite loudly.

"Another hidden village? Like home?" Naruto asked his curiosity prodded.

"Yes, but one that shouldn't be for kids. But we don't have much choice, since I don't want to risk our location." Jiraiya stated.

"Why?"

"Kid, you sure do ask a lot for a brat." Jiraiya complained as he turned to the four-year-old. "I'll dumb it down for you."

"HEY!"

"Someone attacked our home," Jiraiya explained, choosing to ignore Naruto's shout. "And wanted its inhabitants dead. We are two of five survivors, and I am pretty famous, so if anyone who is an enemy sees me and you, they might attack us. Someone wants us dead, so we need to be in hiding for a few more months, and this is the ONLY place that I feel could keep us safe, especially with their connection to your grandfather and mother."

Naruto's ears perked up.

"Gramps and mom?" Naruto asked as he never heard of his maternal grandparents.

Jiraiya didn't respond as he picked Naruto up and put him on his shoulders.

Crouching down slightly, Jiraiya jumped high into the air with his mighty legs.

'If we're going there, might as well make a big entrance.' Jiraiya thought with a stupid smirk as they started to descend.

Naruto felt a rush of adrenaline flood his body, a joyful fear pumping in his blood as he cracked a playful smile while the wind whistled in his ears.

Jiraiya and Naruto passed through a barrier, aiming for the beach.

Once Jiraiya landed, Naruto gasped as his eyes widened.

Before the jump, Naruto could have seen the beach, sand, rocky cliffs and all.

But now, he saw a massive land bridge leading to an off shore island.

The island had five mountains (Two small, two large, and one GIGANTIC) that looked pink hearts.

"What is that?" Naruto asked as he pointed at the island as Jiraiya carried him to the bridge, his wooden geta sandals clacking against the bridge.

"It's Kamabakka Queendom, the Island Full of Transvestites." Jiraiya replied in a reluctant tone. "It's a place where those with a Maiden's Heart Gather."

Not knowing what that meant, Naruto felt anticipation for the new location like the child he was as he could hear music playing with his sensitive ears.

Several minutes passed and they reached the end of the bridge.

"Stop!"

"What is your purpose here!"

Naruto tilted his head cutely as he saw two… men?

No, two women had stopped Jiraiya.

They were not the most beautiful, wearing a little too much make up, but they looked strong as Jiraiya bit his lip uncomfortably as he looked at them with a light sweat on his face.

"We are here to visit Iva." Jiraiya said as he reached into his pocket and held out a scroll. "I'm Jiraiya, the Toad Sage of Whirlpool. Please let Iva know I am here."

One of the women took the scroll, but they noticed Naruto.

"OH MY GOD!"

"HE IS SO CUTE!"

Naruto was swiped from Jiraiya's shoulders and was held into powerfully boney arms of the women, their hard abs pressing against his head as their soft hands rubbed his head and ears.

Naruto's eyes became droopy as he gained a goofy smile as he purred from the affection.

"Ahem." Jiraiya hummed as he took Naruto from them.

"Party pooper!" one of them scoffed as they took the scroll and hurried off.

"What is a cutie like yourself doing with a stupid toad like him, sweetie?" the remaining guard asked Naruto as she continued to adore him.

Jiraiya slapped his hands over Naruto's mouth, keeping him silent.

The guard glared at Jiraiya, but kept it to herself as it wasn't worth a fight.

'Especially in front of a cute child.' She thought as she returned to her post.

A few minutes passed before the other guard returned.

"Iva said you can enter." She said as she sat back down at the table. "Just don't cause any trouble. Bye, sweetie."

Naruto waved goodbye as Jiraiya dragged him through Kamabakka.

'God, I don't like being here!' Jiraiya thought as he kept his head down, knowing his way through the city.

'Wow… everything is so… pink. Shirone would have liked it here. Maybe Kuroka too.' Naruto thought as he looked around.

It was like a normal city, but pink.

The music he was hearing was getting louder as Jiraiya neared the castle that was located at the base of the largest mountain.

'Iva just knows how to throw a party.' Jiraiya thought as he took notice of the crowd. "Naruto, don't let go of my… Naruto… DAMN BRAT!"

With Naruto…

Having gotten free of Jiraiya's grasp, Naruto had entered the large crowd, slipping through the legs of the residence as they got closer to the castle.

Once in front, Naruto took notice of how unique it was.

Instead of a stereotypical moat and drawbridge, the front door looked like a MASSIVE stage.

Above it was a staging area for lights and other things that could be used for stage productions.

"Oh, I can't wait to see this."

"Neither can I, Queen Iva always makes it fun~"

"I wonder what song he will sing this time."

"I hope its another Lady Gaga song!"

"Me too."

"Poker Face is my Favorite."

"I would prefer Bad Romance."

"I like LittleKuriboh's parodies of those songs better."

The small friend circle of crossdressers looked at this person with blank stares before turning the other way.

"Hey, HEY, THAT'S NOT FUNNY!"

Naruto bumped into someone, causing him to look up.

It was a woman. She was wearing glasses on top of her forehead, her jaw and body are also more rounded in shape, and on the top of her forehead, there is a distinct lightning bolt shaped scar that goes over her right eye. Her clothes and hair that is orange on one side and white on the other and in her left hand was a glass of red wine.

"My, my, aren't you a cutie." She said softly with a kind smile as she sipped some wine. "Are you here for the party?"

"Uhm…" Naruto said as he took a few steps back. 'I'm in trouble.'

He turned to run, but his shoulder was gently grabbed.

"If you are lost then you should stick with me, little one." The woman said as she quickly took his hand. "I am Inazuma by the way."

"I'm Naruto." Naruto replied as he tried to break Inazuma's grip.

"That's a nice name, makes you out to be a fishcake." Inazuma chuckled.

"It means maelstrom!" Naruto snarled, his tail whipping around a few times.

"Okay, Naruto." Inazuma said as she looked at the stage, seeing the people above it, were just about ready. "If you want, I can help you get a front seat for the event?"

Naruto's struggles ceased immediately.

"Yes please, Ms. Inazuma." Naruto said in a polite tone.

Smiling, Inazuma walked through the crowd, which Naruto didn't notice would part a good four feet before and around them.

Once in front row seating, Naruto heard small music hum ring from the speakers as a large number of dancers and two none dancers took stage, the lights dimming a bit so spot lights could light up the 'couple'.

They were 'arguing' about how their car got a flat tire and how they wanted to call a mechanic.

"Jeez Brad," the woman said. "I don't like it here."

As she said this, behind her a massive elevator/cage was lowered behind her and the man.

Music started to play.

"Don't worry, they are probably… folk dancing." The man said in an attempt to calm his partner down.

"I don't like it here, it's scary." The woman said as the cage touched down, revealing a person in a cloak in it.

They were a very large man with an indigo afro, dawning a combo King/Queen crown atop his afro, and long eyelashes. His chin was noticeably-odd shaped, resembling that of an arrowhead while the rest of him was covered by the cloak.

"Don't worry, I am here." The man said before the woman turned and screamed as the caged person turned around.

The Music picked up as the cage/elevator door opened and the man started singing into the headset mic.

(Insert Sweet Transvestite from Rocky Horror Picture Show)

How do you do I see you've met my faithful handyman
He's just a little brought down because
When you knocked

The person moved away from the couple, singing all the way.

He thought you were the candyman
Don't get strung out by the way I look
Don't judge a book by it's cover
I'm not much of a man by the light of day
But by night I'm one hell of a lover

The man threw the cloak off, revealing a necklace of pearls, a reddish-purple woman's undergarment with fish net stockings, a fish net cape, garter belts and reddish-purple boots and gloves. Their chest was exposed with what appeared to be a skull with arrow crossbones on his shaved chest.

I'm just a sweet transvestite
Sweet Transvestite!
From Transexual, Transylvania

Let me show you around, maybe play you a sound
You look like you're both pretty groovy
Or if you want something visual
That's not too abysmal
We could take in an old Steeve Reeves movie

"I'm glad we caught you at home. Could we use your phone? We're both in a bit of a hurry." The acting man said, really getting into his role. "We'll just say where we are. Then go back to the car. We don't want to be any worry."

Well, you got caught with a flat
Well how 'bout that
Well babies don't you panic
By the light of the night
It'll all seem alright
I'll get you a Satanic mechanic
I'm just a sweet transvestite
Sweet Transvestite!
From Transexual, Transylvania

You'll be stay for the night
Or maybe a bite
I'll show you my favorite obsession
I've been making a man
With blonde hair and a tan
And he's good for relieving my t-t-tension
I'm just a sweet transvestite
Sweet Transvestite!
From Transexual, Transylvania
I'm just a sweet transvestite
Sweet Transvestite!
From Transexual
Transylvania

The singer got in the center of the stage, having been moving this whole time, turning to show the side of his body, turning in an effeminate pose.

So come up to the lab
And see what's on the slab
I see you shiver with antici... pation
But maybe the rain
Isn't really to blame
So I'll remove the cause
But not the symptom

The song ended and everyone clapped and cheered.

"YEE-HAW!" the tall man who had been singing. "Well, my little candies, what did you think?"

"You were amazing, Iva!" Many people shouted in happiness, a few fainting at the sight of this man while the dancers started to dance alongside Iva.

"Well, I'd like to thank…" The man said, suddenly stopping and looking like he was in pain. "Oh…oh god…"

"Iva?"

Naruto gasped in concern for the Drag-Queen making Inazuma giggle.

"My anemia… is acting up… NOT, JUST KIDDING!" Iva shouted, arms up with joy. "YEE-HAW!"

"Oh, you really got us that time, Iva." Was mostly the response.

"Yeah, I know. I, Emporio Ivankov, wouldn't even care if you called me crap for that stunt." Iva said in a jolly way, before becoming deadly serious, his eyes ablaze. "DON'T EVER CALL ME CRAP!"

"You got it Iva."

"Now, as you all know, today is my BIRTHDAY!" Iva stated, his voice going through the mic he had on his face, getting cheers in return. "And a few minutes ago, two special guests arrived."

'Oohs' and 'Aws' and other sounds of excitement ran through the crowd, all wondering who the 'special guests could be.

"HEY LET ME GO!"

Two okama arrived on stage dragging Jiraiya on stage with a net.

"We have Jiraiya the Toad Sage from Whirlpool." Iva announced as he gestured to the captured Toad Sage, who growled from the embarrassment he was feeling. "And young Naruto D, Uzumaki, please come on stage."

Inazuma took Naruto's hand and lead him to the stage via side stairs, both illuminated by the spot light, blinding Naruto for a few seconds.

The crowd cheered as the two were brought to Iva.

"How's it going boys?" Iva asked with a sway of his hips as party music took over the amps. "Having fun in the Queendom?"

"Yes/HELL NO!" Naruto and Jiraiya replied in unison.

Iva smiled before spinning around.

"WELL, my candies, I have an important meeting." The crowd booed and screamed their rejections. "But fear not, because here in Kamabakka, Queendom where Sex and Gender, Male, Female, Transvestite, and all in between can live in harmony without prejudice. It is a place with freedom of Gender equality, a place where you can be yourself with no judgement of being who you are. It is a place of fun, so have lots of it!"

The crowd roared in happiness as the band took center stage while Iva and Inazuma took Naruto and Jiraiya into the castle.

Jiraiya was released from the net as they approached a table.

"Would you like something to drink or eat?" Inazuma asked Naruto as she helped him sit.

"Ramen?" Naruto asked as he hadn't had any good ramen in over a year.

Inazuma smiled.

"Definitely your mother's son." Iva laughed as he walked up with two mugs of foamy beer, handing one to Jiraiya and keeping one for himself while Inazuma took Jiraiya's order as well.

"You knew mom and dad?" Naruto asked as Inazuma left the room.

"Knew them? Hell, I changed Kushina's diapers." Iva replied before chugging some of his beverage. "Speaking of Kushina, why isn't she and Minato here with Fujima and her kittens?"

Naruto and Jiraiya tensed.

Naruto's eyes became melancholic, ears drooping down as he whimpered.

Jiraiya kept a stoic face, but his expression held an obvious telling of information yet revealed.

"What? What am I missing?" Iva asked as he took another swig.

"Whirlpool village was destroyed a month ago," Jiraiya said in an ominous tone. "Minato and Kushina died. Her swords were stolen."

Iva's eyes widened, gasping, swallowing more beer than he wanted and spat it out in Naruto's face before coughing.

"GROSS!" Naruto shouted as his chair rocketed backwards, the boy now soaked in beer and saliva.

"Minato and Kushina…" Iva gasped out, his eyes holding disbelief. "You're not funny, Jiraiya."

"Who says I am trying to be funny, Iva." Jiraiya stated as he got up and gave Naruto a towel to dry himself off and a change of clothing. "Someone who was strong enough killed the entirety of our home."

"But…"

"Fujima and her daughters were with us, so they too escaped. I have my spy network keeping an eye on them." Jiraiya said as Naruto left the room to change into dry clothing. "I don't know who did it, but to wipe out an entire village…"

"Only those from the faction war could do it." Iva mumbled as he facepalmed, accepting the truth with difficulty. "However…"

He turned to Jiraiya in anger.

"DEATH WINK!" Iva shouted as he winked.

Jiraiya was blasted from his seat and into the wall.

"WHAT THE HELL YOU DAMN CROSS DRESSER!" Jiraiya shouted as he coughed in pain.

"That is for letting Shusui and Enma to be stolen." Iva replied in repressed anger, his gloved hands tightly gripped. "Those were two of Kurama's three swords, and I know that Fujima has Wado Ichimonji."

Jiraiya glared as he spat blood and got up.

"I know, I am angry too, but I can't fix what happened." Jiraiya replied as he trudged over and sat down.

"Did you just come here to tell me that news, Jiraiya." Iva huffed as he sat down as he remembered the three swords when they had been used by Kurama, and how Kushina and Fujima inherited them.

"No, I came here to seek refuge, and to get help in raising Naruto for a few years so I can train him in seclusion." Jiraiya told Iva. "Naruto… is a conqueror."

Gasping, Iva's eyes widened.

"How…"

"When he saw his parent's bodies… he released it." Jiraiya explained, clenching his fist as he remembered the bodies of his students.

"He took after Kurama in that way." Iva said in shock. "A child his age awakening Conqueror's haki, it's unbelievable."

"He hasn't done it since that day, so it must have returned to dormancy." Jiraiya said before the door opened and Naruto reentered the room.

Iva and Jiraiya glanced at each other, silently agreeing to continue the conversation later.

Jiraiya drank some beer, wanting to somewhat enjoy his stay in Kamabakka.

Well, enjoy it as much as he could.

"Dinner is served." Inazuma said as she and a few other servants entered the room with their food.

Naruto's eyes sparkled as he looked at his ramen.

It glowed with love and happiness.

Its scent wafted through the air, causing Naruto's nose to twitch. Taking a few sniffs, Naruto partially melted in his chair, a look of 'I could die happy' on his face.

The noodles were thick as the broth clung to them.

'First bite.' Naruto thought as he put the noodles in his mouth.

Naruto's eyes snapped open as his clothes were blown off of his body.

Iva smiled at the reaction Naruto had.

"It seems you like our Attack Cuisine." Inazuma said as she poured herself another glass of wine before joining Naruto, Jiraiya, and Iva at the table.

"Attack Cui… Coos… Cus…" Naruto tried to say, embarrassment causing his cheeks to light up.

"Cui-Suine." Jiraiya said, biting into a large rice ball.

"Yeah, that." Naruto said as he stared at Inazuma.

"The Attack Cuisine is a specialty of the Queendom." Iva explained as he patted Naruto's head. "Your grandfather and parents ate it and gained lots of strength from this food."

"Pervy Sage mentioned grandpa earlier, but who is he?" Naruto bluntly stated.

Iva glanced at Jiraiya inquisitively.

"They didn't get the time and he never asked them." Jiraiya replied as he continued to eat.

"Well, I guess I'll tell you." Iva stated with a flourish of his fork, pointing at Naruto with a large smile. "About your grandfather, the great Revolutionary, Kurama D Uzumaki. Yee-haw~"

Chapter 2, DONE!

IMPORTANT NOTICE!

I MADE SOME ADDITIONS TO CHAPTER 1, WHICH IS MOSTLY FOR ENMA, WADO ICHIMONJI, AND SHUSUI! PLEASE REREAD CHAPTER 1 IF YOU ARE CONFUSED! SORRY FOR THE CONFUSION!

I had a lot of fun with this chapter.

This is a goofy chapter for my birthday today.

I wanted to have Naruto's life start to brighten up, since he is still very young and it shouldn't be dark and gloomy, thus this massive party and lively characters like Iva and Inazuma. Also, he needs to have some form of a childhood before being trained.

Kurama Uzumaki is dead, he won't be making any appearances in the story in person.

I have a Poll for Yamato's potential inclusion to the story.

And for those who enjoyed Werefox, they might realize that this chapter might be similar to a chapter in Werefox. Yeah, I copy and pasted some parts of chapter 29 of Werefox. It's my story so I could do it.

I don't anymore I really want to say, not the appropriate time. I will try to get another chapter out before the end of the year, so look forward to that.

If you enjoyed what you have read, please leave a review. If you disliked any part of the chapter, please let me know with a review as they do help me become a better writer.

Now, if you excuse me, I have a keg and cake to get to. See you all on the flip side.