"You've reached Olivia Pope. Leave me a message."

Tempted to slam the phone down, Fitz tried to keep himself calm. Everything was getting to be too much at work. Abby was starting to doubt her own abilities to keep the office running the way Fitz was used to.

"Livie, come on. It's been three weeks. I know you've been getting my voicemails, at least even to delete them. With all that I've left you, your inbox would be full if you were letting them pile up. Just come home, please. I don't know how else to tell you that I am sorry. And I'm starting to get very annoyed with leaving messages and texts. This place is falling apart. I am falling apart. Liv, please, come back. I don't know how to do this without you anymore. Please call me back. I love you."

Hanging up, Fitz was about to throw the phone but set it down on the desk and threw the stapler instead. Leaving the dining room, he took a spot on the couch and gave it more thought. The drive he took two weeks ago to Vermont was unsuccessful. Everything there was exactly how they left it after Christmas. She wouldn't have left the country without getting on a plane, so that's out of the possibilities. Both Fitz and Jerry checked in with Cyrus every other day to see if she told him where she was, though she never did.

Flipping on the tv for the ten o'clock news, Fitz relaxed on the couch and watched. Every day he'd watch the same news station that Liv did before. Of everything going on, he would think of a way to make it better or how to counteract it. Lately, he started to think about what Jerry and Cyrus, as well as his mother, had told him before. You would make a great President. For every thought he had against it, another one for it would appear. The current news that the country was now in high trillion-dollar debt was making Fitz start to really think about pulling the trigger and running for office.

I'm only thinking about it. Weighing the options. Nothing is set in stone, and no one knows. Especially Dad. No matter what, I cannot tell him. Not unless I am one hundred percent in this. No take backs and no second thoughts. Fuck I wish she was here to discuss this with me.

Looking around for a piece of paper, Fitz found a notebook under a stack of magazines on the coffee table and pulled it out. Opening it to find a new page, Fitz recognized Liv's handwriting inside it.

"Really, Livie?" he laughed looking at it.

Mr. and Mrs. Fitzgerald Thomas Grant III

Reading through half the book, Fitz read her notes of what she thought. The first several pages he read started off as lists. Random grocery lists or things she needed to do. Then became a sort of letter to herself. Unable to resist, though it felt as though he was invading her privacy, he read it.

I need help. It's okay to ask for help. My friends are here to help me. Fitz is here if I need help. Being strong and asking for help are not the opposite. Asking for help does not make me weak. Needing help doesn't make me weak. Nothing about me is weak. I got through so many things and lived through it. I am stronger than anyone ever thought I would be. I do not need anyone's help. But if and when the time comes, I will have it.

Going on further, a few pages more, there was a list again.

Every reason why dating me is a bad idea.

1. I'm controlling.

2. I have a horrible set of parents.

3. I don't know how to love properly.

4. Even if I did, I'd still be wrong and take control.

5. I can't sleep alone.

6. I am demanding, for sure.

7. I can't forget a damn thing.

8. I do not forgive.

9. My ex-boyfriend is a murderer.

10. James.

11. I am damaged.

12. There is no repair.

13. I'm not likeable.

"Livie, you are way too hard on yourself."

Through more pages that he passed, Fitz skimmed through it. Most of the rest of the notebook that was filled in were lists of reasons for something or other. Laughing at a few of the list titles, he did find a few that were sobering.

Reasons why to live in D.C.

1. The views.

2. The events.

3. Cherry blossoms.

4. Anyone who is anyone lives here.

5. Perfect place to run.

Going to the next page, he read more.

Reasons why I love Fitz.

1. He's perfect.

2. He's smart.

3. The hair.

4. The smile

5. He's calming.

6. He doesn't look at me like I'm throw away.

7. He needs me, at least to do his work.

8. Fantastic sex.

9. Mind blowing sex. (should be counted at least twice)

10. He loves me, maybe.

11. Oh my God, the sex! (okay, three times)

12. He's adapted to my situation.

13. He hasn't walked away.

That list was a hard read for him. Getting the pen in hand, Fitz added another list at the bottom half of the page.

Reasons why I love Liv.

1. She's gorgeous.

2. She's thoughtful.

3. She knows everything I need before I do.

4. Pretty sure she's a mind reader.

5. Incredible sex.

6. Earth shattering sex. (definitely needs to be counted twice)

7. She does love me.

8. She's amazing at anything she does.

9. She puts her heart and soul into whatever she does.

10. Phenomenal sex! (Should be counted at least 274 times.)

11. She cares about what happens to anyone.

12. She got me divorced.

13. No matter what she's gone through, she has always come out stronger.

After a while of reading through, Fitz turned and fell asleep on the couch.

Getting up and ready in the morning, driving off to work, he left another message for her but changed his tone and tactic.

"Good morning, Livie. Or evening, wherever you are. Still would be great to know where you are. Just thought I would let you know that I am sending Abby back to her regular job today. I don't think she's built for this desk job thing. She has done pretty well but she's not you. So, I'm going to try and figure this out myself. Lucky for everyone, you left the decoding instructions. I found something of yours last night too. Your book of lists. You didn't hide it very well; if that's what you were trying to do." Pulling into his spot in the parking garage at the office, Fitz swapped the call to his phone and got out. "I also thought I would let you know that I'm not hiring another assistant. I refuse to train another one. Besides, no one can replace you. So, how about doing all of us a favor and getting back here? That way we can all go back to normal. The staff misses you. Nicholas refuses to tell Abby anything. He's very stubborn. And we have a board meeting next week. Which isn't helpful since I have not gotten any reports on any of the other offices. And… Liv… I want to discuss a big move with you. It's a gamechanger. But I refuse to do anything without talking about it with you first. Call me back, sweet baby. I love you."

Heading up to his office, Abby sat at Liv's desk reading through the emails and jotting down notes. Before he saw her, he heard the aggravated sigh come out of her mouth.

"You're done, Abby. Drop it and go," Fitz told her.

"Go where? Another scavenger hunt for Moscow? Fix a crisis in Rome?" Abby asked in a more than annoyed tone.

"Home. Go home to David. Here's your flight ticket. Your ride is waiting downstairs."

"Fitz, you can't be serious. None of this is done," she told him slapping her hand on a foot high stack of files. "I can't just leave this here for you to do."

"I don't think you're understanding me, Abigail. You are fired."

"What?!"

"Well, you're fired from this job. You need to go back to being a traveler. That's what you're good at. Honestly, you sort of suck at this job. Now go before you miss your flight."

Hugging him quickly, Abby grabbed her purse and ran out the door waving back at him. "You are my absolute favorite person ever!"

Passing by her, Jerry headed straight to the office to see him. "She seems happy," he laughed.

"She got fired. She's thrilled."

"Not necessarily what I would have gone for but alright then. Any luck getting ahold of Livia?"

Pouring himself and Jerry a coffee, Fitz shook his head and moved into his office behind the desk. "I would have called you if I had. She's still not answered me. At least she's talking to you and Cyrus. Javier and Huck too. I think if Liv didn't talk to Javi, they would both go crazy. He loves her so much it would break his heart."

"I don't disagree. I know wherever she is, she seems to be enjoying it. She's been working on the wedding with Verna from there. I'm concerned though. Livia's been putting together all these details and coordinating with the hotel from wherever she is. What if she doesn't come back for the actual wedding? If she can handle everything remote, she might decide that she doesn't need to come back."

"Dad, for one, Liv's coming back for the wedding. She's your best woman. Still, I think that's a weird term, but whatever you want. Second, she promised Javi that she would be here. And we both know…"

"Olivia doesn't make a promise unless she will keep it," they said together.

"I know, son. That's my only saving grace right now. She's never made a promise and not kept it. And it would crush him if she didn't show up."

"I know that I'm not Liv and that I'm not as in tune to you as she is, but I can tell that's not what you're worried about. At least not all of it. What else is wrong? You and Verna are good, right? No change on the wedding front? She hasn't decided to back out, correct?"

"No, Fitz. We are still getting married," Jerry rolled his eyes.

"Good, because I already put a deposit down on the tailored tux I had to get."

"Hahaha, you're so funny," he snarked at Fitz. "It's been a month. Every time I've talked to her, she sounds tired. Cyrus is worried about her too. We all are. But he's about to call Eli and Maya. I don't know what good that would do. Cyrus thinks if he calls them, they might know where she is and at least get to her to sleep. Hell, if she would just call one of us and would let us, we'd fly out to Timbuktu to get her just one night of sleep."

Leaning back in the chair, though he didn't want to even think about it, it still could be a possibility that needed to be expressed. "Do you think it's possible she found someone else to stay with her?"

"Very unlikely. Livia doesn't trust people. Think of how long it took her to tell you that she even had sleeping problems. It's not even a half a percent chance that she found someone else."

Somewhat relieved with the answer, Fitz shook his head. "You said she has gone three weeks without sleep before. It was bad and it nearly killed her. I remember you saying that when she first told me about her issue. That first night I found you in her bed. The wedding is in nine weeks and we're assuming that she hasn't slept since that last night with me four weeks ago. What would happen if she went without sleep until the wedding?"