A/N:
Hi there!
I hope those of you who read this story were happy with the latest update, and guess what?
Here's another for you :)
Updating on this story will go slow going forward as well. I wish I could write it faster, but I've lost my motivation and drive a bit, so while I'm doing my best to rediscover that, updates will take time in-between.
But, the story is moving forward, so let's see how Alice continues to puzzle her new existence together.
Title: Origins: Living in my Future
Author: MarieCarro
Beta: Alice's White Rabbit
Pre-reader: BitterHarpy
Genre: Supernatural/Mystery
Rating: NC-17
Summary: Mary Alice Brandon had always been different. She seemed to know things that had yet to happen, and the people in town avoided her at all costs. But the cries of "Witch" or whispers of "Changeling" wasn't her biggest concern. Someone much closer to her than the townsfolk couldn't accept her differences, and it put her in life-threatening danger.
Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.
CHAPTER 10
FRIDAY, OCTOBER 15th – SUNDAY, OCTOBER 17th 1920
I really had to fight the urge to spit out the mouthful of blood as soon as it hit my tongue. It had a strange, tangy, and bitter taste to it, but at least it stayed in my stomach and soothed my throat, and that was better than anything else I'd tried up to that point.
Anything resembling food either came right back up or sat uncomfortably in my body, like a stone, until I forced myself to expel it again, and I'd attempted all different kinds as I continued to wander.
It had been another vision that told me animal blood would suffice to replace killing humans. Carlisle had comforted Edward's frustration by suggesting hunting, and I'd seen them going after a herd of deer. The only thing the vision failed to tell me was how foul it tasted.
It did what it was supposed to do, at least, and I pushed the drained carcass away from me. My hands were bloody and so was the front of my one-piece outfit. I could also feel the sticky remnants on my cheeks, but when I went to wipe it off, I could feel I only made it into more of a mess.
There was no lake nearby now though, and I had no way of seeing my reflection, so I had to just hope no one came across me or they'd believe I was some sort of demon from hell or a deranged murderer.
In some way, I guess I was.
Three nights had passed since I first woke up, and it was safe to say I didn't sleep—another thing to add to my ever-growing list of what proved I wasn't normal or human—but it was time I expanded my new world.
I had to do something about my appearance. I couldn't stay in that one patch of forest forever, but if I wanted to walk into a town, I had to look believable as a sane human being, and a dirty, bloodied one-piece dress didn't exactly scream sanity.
Terror built within me as I thought about leaving the safe haven of the trees. After that first, horrifying vision had seized me, similar ones had grabbed me any time I came too close to a house or a road.
Could I venture into a town and completely avoid humans somehow? Was that possible, or was I only setting myself up for failure? No visions came to me, so I couldn't know. Would I dare to take that risk?
My resolve wavered, but what really scared me was that it took some of my visions with it. My visions of Jasper became blurry, and so did the ones of Carlisle and Edward. Ever since I woke up, I'd relied on those visions as something that was clearly lying in my future, but apparently, that wasn't the case.
If not going into town meant risking my future with these men I already saw as my only friends in this world, how could I possibly even consider staying put?
I shook my head to rid myself of my mind's stupor, squared my shoulders, and stood up. I couldn't allow my fears to dictate my actions. If I did, I could just dig a hole in the ground and spend however long it would take for me to die there.
No, fear would keep me from finding Jasper. From that hug Carlisle gave me, and that feeling of camaraderie with Edward.
The visions instantly became crystal clear again. They were all there once more, in my future, and I breathed a sigh of relief.
An idea occurred to me then. Perhaps I could use my visions to guide me as I went into town. They were already warning me when my decisions would lead to futures I didn't like, but maybe, if I honed them even further, I could see the chain of events and know where a decision went wrong.
It sounded like a stretch, and perhaps it was impossible, but it gave me something to work with, and I was excited to find out what exactly I could do with this gift of mine.
{=LMF=}
"Larger cities are great for the years when you want to be anonymous, but it also means a higher chance for exposure," Carlisle said as he explained to Edward, and indirectly me, the importance of disappearing from time to time.
I couldn't even imagine what I would have done without my visions of Carlisle. There was so much I wouldn't have known or understood, and this new life I was slowly adjusting to would have felt much more terrifying than it currently did.
Taking his advice of larger cities, as well as relying on my visions to keep me out of trouble, I found myself entering Memphis, a city I knew of but couldn't explain how a detail such as geography had survived my amnesia. No matter how I knew of it, it helped me pinpoint my location, which had previously been unknown.
Steadily, I'd moved north, and so I could only assume I had woken up somewhere in Mississippi.
Was that where I was from? Was I born there? Did my family live there? Did I have a family at all?
Knowing I was about to challenge myself by being in very close proximity to humans, I started out by searching for a hiding place where I could go if I felt too overwhelmed, and I eventually decided upon the highest rooftop above a rather busy street. It was surprisingly easy to scale the building, and once safely up there, I peeked down at the humans below.
The deafening sound of the cars had already hit me well before I entered the city, but as my ears adapted, another sound hit me like a wall, and I gouged my fingers into the material under me to prevent me from jumping down and attack every human I saw.
It was a wet, rhythmic pounding that caused every muscle in my body to tense up in preparation for action. It was familiar enough for me to know it was the sound of a heartbeat, but it was enhanced by thousands, and I nearly lost the fight I had with my mind.
"The longest road you'll take is to desensitize yourself toward all the sounds and scents that remind you of their blood. It took me nearly a century of arduous practice, but you have the advantage of knowing it's possible."
I conjured up Carlisle's words in my head and used them as a mantra to calm myself down. I have the advantage of knowing it's possible. I didn't have to hunt and kill humans even though everything within me said I didn't have to fight it.
Still, I didn't ease my hold on the roof until well after dark.
{=LMF=}
I remained on the roof and stared up at the glittering stars above. They were so tranquil, and I tried to model myself after them and find the same energy inside.
Several hours had passed, and I felt in control of myself again. It was time to do what I'd come to Memphis for, and the shroud of the night was the best disguise I could ask for until I was wearing something more appropriate.
I'd already taken notice of a women's clothing store before I perched myself up on the roof, and that was my goal when I carefully made my way down toward the street, staying alert for any humans or cars that could detect me as well as being open to visions warning me of my decisions.
Nothing changed and I moved as fast as I could toward the storefront. My next problem was clearly how to get inside. I knew I was most likely strong enough to break the door open, but I'd hoped to not cause too much damage to the property since I'd already be stealing from them.
Unfortunately, I had little choice, and I broke off the handle without making too much noise, and then slid my way into the darkness.
The scent of fabrics, lingering perfume, and human body odor assaulted my nose, and I had to take a moment to adjust before I started to look around at the hangers and shelves filled with dresses, skirts, blouses, and coats.
I was desperate to remove the filthy one-piece and replace it with the first dress I could get my hands on, but I logically knew I had to pace myself and begin by choosing some undergarments, and then find somewhere I could thoroughly wash myself.
Bathing in a lake once five days ago could only do so much, after all.
My hands were still stained with the blood of the deer I'd killed, so I was careful not to touch the delicate and white silks of the slip dresses and stockings. The numbers on the tags meant nothing to me as I had no idea what size I was, but I'd already figured out I was smaller than average from the small amount of people watching I'd done, so I grabbed the one with the lowest number on it and headed toward the bathrooms in the back.
The sight meeting me in the mirror's reflection was a sad and terrifying one. My hair was simultaneously matted down and sticking up in various directions, and I knew I'd have to get a haircut once the issue of clothes was out of the way. My eyes were still a bright red, and I wondered what event would cause them to change to the gold I'd seen in my vision. There was smudged blood all over my cheeks, down my neck, and had colored the entire front of the one-piece a muddy red.
As uncomfortable as the sight made me though, I pushed it out of my awareness and gratefully pulled the old, reeking fabric from my body to wash. When every little drop of blood had drained down the sink as nothing more than tinted water, I slipped the silk chemise and stockings on.
Apart from the red eyes, my reflection had transformed into something much less horrifying and into something sweet and almost childlike. The chemise, despite the small size, was still a smidge too big on me, and I wondered, not for the first time, how old I was.
Washing every part of my body had given me enough certainty to know I had at least the body parts of a woman and not a child, albeit my breasts were on the smaller side to the point of almost being flat, and the hair I had was sparse.
I started to map out more features on my body, like my pin-straight nose and large upturned eyes. A part of me—not a big one—had held on to the hope that maybe seeing myself clearly would trigger my memory to come back, but it was in vain.
Everything was still as dark and empty as before.
At least I had a name. Alice … like Jasper had called me.
Thinking of him made me smile, and my stomach fluttered with an unfamiliar sensation. It was a fast flicker gone the second I focused on it, but it hadn't felt unpleasant.
I walked back into the store as I tried to identify the feeling and put a name on it, but it proved difficult because I couldn't say if I'd ever experienced anything similar before. My mind stayed occupied as I picked out a navy slip dress reaching my ankles, shoes with a heel to give some height to my petite frame, a coat for the simple reason of blending in, and lastly, a cloche hat.
The haircut had to wait until I could access scissors, so the hat worked well to cover the disaster that was the black, uneven tresses covering my head.
Studying myself in one of the store's many mirrors, I thought I looked passable, but my face still was that of a very young girl. The store didn't have any makeup for sale, so I realized, with a sigh, that I would have to continue my stealing spree.
I hated stealing, but I had no choice unless I wanted to keep donning that horrible one-piece I'd worn since I woke up, and that wasn't an option unless I wanted to continue spending all of my time in the wilderness away from all civilization.
As I searched through the cashier's desk for baubles I'd might need, I found a matchbook, and I immediately decided to burn the offending garment and wipe it from my presence forever. I placed the matchbook in my pocket and grabbed the pile of fabric from the floor before leaving the store.
I had to leave it with the lock and handle destroyed, but hopefully, the owner would be able to replace it soon enough.
In my new clothes, I could walk in full visibility down the street, but I didn't trust myself to remain there in case any humans straggled through the night, so I ducked into a back street in between buildings, tossed the fabric in my hands on the ground before lighting the matchbook and throwing it as well, only staying long enough to see the flames eating up the old linen.
{=LMF=}
I knew even before the vision hit me that I wouldn't be able to stop myself. All the woman did was pass me too closely as I was still making my way back to my hiding spot on the roof, and the heat from her perspiration-covered skin drove me to attack. I hadn't even caught her scent yet, but I already knew I had to taste the blood pumping through her veins.
The blood splashed onto my tongue and made me heady with need. Nothing could compare to that heavenly taste, and I drank in large eager gulps until she was drained. I finally fully understood everything I'd seen Edward and Carlisle discuss.
Blood lust was an inexplicable frenzy impossible to stop unless you had practiced like Carlisle had for centuries.
Dread washed through me as I fled the scene and cowered up on the roof. How was I supposed to do this on my own? Edward had Carlisle to help him, but who did I have apart from the mere echoes of these men who didn't even know I existed yet?
Carlisle had done it on his own, but how?
A new part had awoken in me the instant I sank my teeth into the woman's neck. A darker, more instinct-driven part, and it didn't want to be silenced. It roared at me to go back down and find another victim because I was still hungry.
Perhaps the fight was futile. Maybe the vision I'd had of Carlisle and Edward was nothing more than a pipe-dream, planted in my head to show me what I could have if I was strong enough, but I'd just proved I wasn't.
But I couldn't just give up because every time I made a decision that placed me on a path farther away from the future with Carlisle and Edward, something always changed the future I saw with Jasper. It was as if they were entwined in some way. As if I wouldn't ever find Jasper unless I wanted to find the other two as well.
"I won't let you do this on your own." I was looking at Jasper, his eyes a more muted red than I'd seen in previous visions of him. "I'm here for you no matter what." I knew that vow was true even though I was yet to meet this beautiful but broken man before me.
Ever so slowly, he wrapped his arms around me, and while I couldn't feel what it felt like in the vision, the warmth I felt as I saw it was overwhelmingly enjoyable. "I'm scared of myself," he said quietly. "I still don't completely know what I'm capable of. What if I end up hurting you?"
I could hear the terror in his voice, and I wished he truly was before me so I could actually wrap my arms around him. I wanted to be with him now. I didn't want to wait, but I had to, and it was slowly killing me.
"I know you well enough to know you'd never do that," I said to him with a certainty I already felt.
As long as I followed the road the visions laid out for me and I didn't search him out before it was time, I knew Jasper wouldn't ever lay his hand on me. Every fiber of my very being told me this, and I trusted that.
I lived for the visions I had of him because it allowed me to get to know this man that I couldn't stop thinking of.
I found myself thinking of the embrace we had in my vision, and suddenly, a longing grabbed me in its clutches. A longing to hold him, to feel his body against my own. To have his lips descend onto mine.
Was that what the fluttering feeling had been? Was it love? Had I already fallen in love with the mythic man I'd only seen in my mind? Was it even possible to fall in love with someone you hadn't met in real life?
Yes, it is, I thought.
The tiny glimpses of Jasper I'd seen so far was enough for me to know I wouldn't ever be able to give him up. I had to find him some day, and even if it wasn't now, it would happen in the future, and it would be worth the wait.
A/N:
Alright then, we got an interesting look into her mind there.
I know she's not the speedy little imp we know her to be just yet, but remember that everything is very new to her, and she's all alone. For now, she's got no one to be exuberantly happy around, but that, as we know, will change.
I do have a question I wish for you to answer.
How much details do you want of her life here now, before Jasper?
Obviously, I'll have her visions and her reactions to the big things happening around the Cullen family, but it's still 28 years I'll have to fill up ;-)
Anyway, I hope you enjoyed this one.
Until next time,
Stay Awesome!
