God I am cringing so bad while reworking these chapters. Anyone else understand the pain of seeing your old works?
Also any chapter that I rewrote is going to be marked as "reworked" in the chapter index. If the word reworked isn't there, please don't read it. Save yourself the pain and me the embarrassment. Thank you. I will be fast with it, I swear.
For the first time in very long, breakfast doesn't feel oppressive.
With the chairman gone, Gakushuu doesn't have to watch every move he makes, doesn't have to be on guard while chewing on his damn food and is released from the responsibility of holding a highly uncomfortable conversation. God knows he's not in the mood for mental battles first thing in the mornings, yet his father never seemed to ease up on him and took every chance to test his abilities.
He makes a rundown of his plans for today while sipping on jasmine tea. The scent calms him down and puts him in a great mood. He's got nothing particularly challenging today, a rather rare thing in his life, and doesn't have to stay at school for his club activities either since the trainer was on sick leave.
At some point, Karma enters his mind. Was he having breakfast too? It's seven in the morning, so probably not. The way he knows that troublemaker, he's going to wake up ten minutes before the start of school, skip breakfast (but hopefully at least brush his teeth) and then lazily drag himself to the campus. On a good day. Karma lately got into the habit of skipping his morning lectures and it irritates the strawberry blond to no end.
Gakushuu cleans away his plate and starts packing his bento for lunch. He fills the box to the brim with the intention of giving some to his brother. One can survive on strawberry milk only for so long before malnutrition takes over and he doubts Karma's going to be as proactive as to actually walk down two stories to the cafeteria, wait five to ten minutes in line and buy himself some real food.
Happy with his preparations, the boy heads to school. The closer he gets to the building, the more people swarm him until he's surrounded by his classmates as well as other students. They all try to talk to him, ask him what he thinks about the tests awaiting them and whether he's going to host any studying sessions any time soon. Some try to befriend him by mentioning hobbies and pop culture. He's keeping his friendly, perfect facade and replying with enthusiasm, entertaining their ideas and opinions, but in all honesty, he can't care less.
It was tough work, being a student council president. But it was necessary in order to achieve his goal of total domination at this school.
Karma once asked him why he even needed that. Why he felt the need to be "flawless", in the first place. Gakushuu doesn't expect him to understand it, but it really ticked him off back then and still does now and then. Such a stupid question, really. Why would he not want it? Why would he ever give anyone the chance to undermine him, to doubt or walk over him, when he can work himself all the way to the top and firmly establish his superiority? To be admired, respected and feared - that was the key to a good, accomplished life.
Sometimes he wonders if the two of them really are brothers. While Gakushuu himself embodies excellence and discipline, his younger does anything but. Of course, Karma is bright and competitive in his own way, but he never puts in the work, never aims higher. Only idly lets himself be swept with the motion. Infuriating, really, when Gakushuu knows that Karma has it in him to achieve more.
Sometimes though (and he'd never admit that aloud), Gakushuu might feel a bit jealous. To be so carefree and indifferent to the opinions of others are things that he himself never had to luxury of experiencing. He can't even imagine sleeping in like his brother does or not worrying about receiving good grades and winning competitions. He tells himself that it's given, a fair trade-off for the prestige and power he holds, but then he spirals into the rabbit hole of existential crisis, the cornerstone of which being the question: Is that what he wants, or his father?
Gosh, it was too early for these kinds of thoughts.
The first period is Japanese. He tunes in and out of the monologue his teacher holds, dutifully answers her questions upon being asked, but doesn't really pay attention as much as he should. Not that it matters, really, considering they were just dissecting some poems.
During the break between the first and second periods, he whips out his phone and messages Karma.
To Lazy shit: Where are you? I haven't seen you in your class yet. Get your ass there.
And sent.
The next period starts shortly after and he puts it away, focusing on the lessons. Yet as the third period, fourth and even fifth rolls up, there's still no reply. It's a bit strange, to be honest, but Gakushuu doesn't think much of it. Karma's probably just busy getting himself into trouble or slacking off and sleeping.
Once Gakushuu finishes school, he heads to their meeting point. But when even there, he doesn't see his brother, it starts to get worrisome. They were supposed to meet for lunch and if anything came up, the redhead would have let him know.
Frowning at his screen, Gakushuu dials the number. It takes five long rings for him to pick up.
"Where are you?" he asks, clearly on edge.
There is a small pause on the other end before his brother answers: "Leave me alone for now."
The tone he says it in is wrong. It's subdued, rather weak even and it gives Gakushuu anxiety. Something must have happened.
"What are you doing? Where are you?" he demands, already standing up and taking his things with him. "What's wrong?"
He's met with silence. He decides that instead of relying on Karma to tell him, he will have to figure it out. Definitely not at school. He hears no cars but Karma must definitely be somewhere outside since Gakushuu can make out the occasional whisps of wind.
"Are you by the mountain?" he tries for a simple yes or no question
"Yeah," his brother hums.
Well since he's not down here, then he must be on the top, Gakushuu curses. He knows the spot since Karma keeps talking about it having a great view. It's coincidentally close to the E-class campus. No wonder then, that Gakushuu never liked it - it reeked of failure.
Ah, what a pain.
"Stay where you are, I'm going to be there in fifteen," he promises, already on his way. "I swear to god I'm going to end you when I find you," he jokes, hoping to get a reaction out of the boy.
He doesn't. Gakushuu stays on the phone though, ignoring the intrusive thoughts that this month's phone bill will be expensive.
True to his words, Gakushuu reaches the top in fifteen minutes and spots the redhead sitting on the edge.
The boy must be deep in thought because Gakushuu doesn't even have to walk silently and still manages to sneak up all the way to Karma without him noticing it. He grabs the Karma by the collar and drags him away from the cliff, ignoring the violent way he protests, kicking, screaming, confused about what the hell was going on.
Gakushuu stops when they're a safe distance away and throws the idiot on the ground. Karma lays there, looking at him from below before he abruptly sits up and yells: "What the hell was that for?!"
Gakushuu's veins pop.
"You-" he hisses, "Do you know how fucking hazardous it is to sit there you little shit?! You could slip and the only thing left of you would be a dirty stain! Do you want to be a dirty stain?!"
Karma opens his mouth to say something super smart probably, but Gakushuu shuts him up.
"No! No one wants to be a dirty stain! Think of the people who'd have to scrape you off of there like burnt eggs off of a pan to clean it!"
Karma sends him a glare and tries to defend himself: "First of all, nobody cleans a mountain! Secondly, I was completely safe!"
"Fuck that safe of yours, I say it's dangerous and you will not go there again!"
It frustrated the strawberry to no end how irresponsible Karma could get. How does he never think of consequences? What normal person sits this close to a fucking cliff?!
"I was seriously worried about you, you know?" Gakushuu breathes out in the end, sitting down. His younger brother for once doesn't talk back and apologizes.
"So? What has happened?" Gakushuu asks. At the same time, he starts to regret his decision to sit down, seeing as there is dirt and dust sticking to his clothes now, but he decides it's a necessary sacrifice. If he wants Karma to talk, he needs to get down on his level after all. Idiot should really consider himself lucky, there wasn't anyone else Gakushuu would willingly dirty himself for.
The redhead grits his teeth, expression drastically dropping. Gakushuu starts to think of all possibilities as to what could have happened, but he doesn't remember anything important as of late, except for...
"Is it about yesterday's brawl you got yourself into?" he guesses and the way Karma winces confirms it.
"You are going to kill me if I tell you," his younger brother whispers, looking at the ground.
"Tell me," he insists. He hopes it's just a suspension, or maybe a lecture from his homeroom teacher. But would Karma be this down from something like that? Dread starts eating him up from the inside and he fears the worst.
The redhead takes his time to finally confess. And when he does, Gakushuu's heart sinks.
"I am going to class E starting next year."
