A/N:

Jasper agreed to try hunting animals, but do you think it will go smoothly?

Title: Origins: Living in my Future

Author: MarieCarro

Beta: Alice's White Rabbit

Pre-reader: BitterHarpy and brierlynn03

Genre: Supernatural/Mystery

Rating: NC-17

Summary: Mary Alice Brandon had always been different. She seemed to know things that had yet to happen, and the people in town avoided her at all costs. But the cries of 'Witch' or whispers of 'Changeling' wasn't her biggest concern. Someone much closer to her than the townsfolk couldn't accept her differences, and it put her in life-threatening danger.

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.


CHAPTER 18

FRIDAY, AUGUST 20th – SATURDAY, AUGUST 21st 1948

High up in an ash tree, I was straddling a thick branch and dangling my legs back and forth as I observed Jasper staring at the bobcat below us on the ground.

"You don't have to try it right away," I said when he pulled his brows together in a skeptical expression. "I'm not expecting you to turn everything about yourself around immediately or even at all, if you don't want it. I've sprung a lot on you in the last hour, so I understand if you want to take a step back."

Jasper tore his eyes away from the bobcat and met my gaze, so I gave him a soft smile.

"If you need to hunt like you usually do, I'm okay with that," I assured him, and he could immediately read in my emotions that I wasn't lying. "I'll just have to respectfully bow out and wait for you back at the hotel."

His expression smoothed out, and he let out a small sigh before he changed his position from a crouch to sitting on the same branch I was on. "For someone who doesn't hunt humans herself, you're stunningly understandin'. Now I feel bad for judgin' your lifestyle."

Bringing up my legs so I was sitting cross-legged instead, I leaned forward with my elbows on my knees. "Ever since I first found out about you, you've hunted humans. I've always known that's how you live. It would be strange of me to be under the impression you'd be willing to change yourself for a girl you just met."

"We might've just met, but you talk to me with such familiarity even I forget it hasn't even been a day."

A surge of anxiety shot through me, and I entwined my fingers in front of me. "If it makes you uncomfortable, please tell me." The absolute last thing I wanted was for him to feel any kind of discomfort around me and my visions. "You're the first vampire I've met in person, and I might get carried away by what I see at times."

Jasper offered me his own smile, and it was so warm and full of his personality I had to physically lock my muscles down so I didn't start to giddily bounce in place. "You're not makin' me uncomfortable"—he paused for a second before his smiled widened playfully—"… yet." He turned back to study the bobcat once more. "But I promise you'll be the first to know if that's ever the case."

"Thank you."

Another few seconds passed as the bobcat slowly stalked around in search of its own prey, and Jasper wasn't making any moves to go after it. I opened my mouth to reassure him again that I was okay with taking things much slower, but he beat me to it.

"Tell me what makes it worth it … huntin' animals."

"You want the short answer or the long one?" I asked humorously with a cheeky smile, already knowing what he would say.

He chuckled. "Let's start with the short one."

"It's fun hunting what you actually have to chase."

"And what's the long one?"

"Layered." I thought back to my first day as a vampire and reminisced about how unpleasant it had been. "The first experience I had of hunting humans was through a vision before I'd fully realized what I was. Seeing all that blood and instinctively knowing I was capable of killing in such a manner was frightening. Since then, I've naturally killed humans and tasted that blood. I know it's incomparable and feels right in the moment, but knowing I can hold an actual conversation with humans without seeing them as food is very rewarding." I reached into my pocket and pulled out a drawing I'd made of all the Cullens so he'd have something to identify them. "Carlisle has been my only guide my whole life, and what he says makes sense." I pointed at him for Jasper as I offered him the piece of paper.

"This is your family?" he asked and looked closely at them all.

I smiled and nodded. "Yes. I know it sounds odd to call them that when they don't even know I exist yet, but that's what they are. I've shared in their happy moments, sad moments, and life-changing moments for years. I know them better than I know myself." I took the drawing back as a wave of embarrassment washed over me.

"Hey," he said softly and tilted his head down so we could maintain eye contact. "You have nothin' to be embarrassed about. These people mean a lot to you, and you'll never hear me judge you for that."

"Only for our way of life, right?"

He shook his head. "I'm the last one with a right to judge anyone else. I've been surrounded by pain and death pretty much all my life. I want somethin' different for myself because the way I'm doin' it is obviously not workin', but it's not just my mind stoppin' me. It feels so unnatural to go after that cat."

Slowly, to give him the chance of stopping me, I scooted over until we were sitting side by side, and I gently took his hand in mine. He bent his neck to look at our connection, an unreadable expression etched on his face. "It's like that for everyone in the beginning," I said. "If it was as easy as second nature, I'm sure more vampires would do it. After all, we were all humans once. And our first kill takes a toll on us all."

"Yeah, it wasn't pleasant," he said, his tone indicating he was far away in his memories. "I haven't thought about it for a long time, but it almost ended me. Maria—"

He abruptly stopped himself and pulled away from me. It took me a moment to realize it was because he'd mentioned Maria for the first time, and it made him uncomfortable since I already knew so much about her.

I knew I had to tread carefully as I broached the subject. "I had visions of her as well," I said while gauging his reaction. His spine was as straight as a metal rod where he sat and stared at nothing. "I know what she was to you and how she treated you; what she demanded of you."

No reaction, and my visions didn't assist me either, and I had a feeling it was because Jasper was often driven by his instincts in an attempt to control and push away his emotions so they wouldn't overwhelm him. That allowed him to make split decisions compared to others.

But I didn't want to push him or my luck. My goal was for him to fall for me and love me as I loved him, not have him resent me. "I don't want you to feel as if you have to tell me. I might already know a lot, but your story is only yours to share. In your own time." I looked away from him back toward the cat, who was now leaving for other hunting grounds. "How about we try this another day?"

Jasper closed his eyes and let out a sigh before nodding.

Hoping it wouldn't backfire on me, I reached out and stroked his cheek with my knuckle. So fast there was no chance for me to dodge it, he grabbed my wrist just as our skin touched. Then he looked at me from the corner of his eye, and what I saw in his face cut me deep, even though I knew I wasn't the reason for it.

There was so much anger behind his eyes, so much resentment, but also fear.

He only held on to me for a split second before he released his hold and looked away from me again. I didn't need his ability to know he wanted to be alone even though I had a growing suspicion that solitude was the last thing he actually needed.

Until he could fully trust me, I had to respect his need for space though since that was the only method he knew to use when his inner darkness loomed around the corner.

"Take all the time you need to do what you have to do," I said. "I'll be at the hotel whenever you're ready."

I jumped down from the tree and lightly landed on my feet before I ran back to the city and my suite to wait for my broken soulmate.

{=LMF=}

I opened the door to my suite just as Jasper approached it and let him inside. He smelled of fresh human blood, and his eyes were no longer dark enough for a human to explain away the hue as an illusion or trick of the lighting.

Despite having seen it in visions for years, it was quite jarring to see how crimson they were in person, and I knew he could feel that spike in my emotions. But I didn't want to immediately bring the subject back to diet and force another heavy conversation with him. I wanted to enjoy being around him, and I wanted him to get to know me.

"I placed a new set of clothes out for you in the bathroom if you want to take a shower. They're a little fancier than what you're used to, but it'll help you blend in better around here," I said as casually as I could manage and pointed where the bathroom was situated.

"Blendin' in with humans at a luxury hotel," he mumbled with an incredulous smile. "That's definitely a first."

"As I said before, I don't make a habit out of living like this."

He turned his head to look at me, thousands of questions burning in his eyes and some of them triggered mini-visions that came as fast as they left. "Why did you decide on a suite at a luxury hotel? You must've already known it's not the environment I'm most comfortable in."

I contemplated my answer for a short moment. "My completely honest answer to that question is I wanted to show you what life can be like in the human world when you don't have to hide. When you can live with them side by side and therefore reap the benefits instead of keeping to the shadows and only have the night's sky as your roof."

Jasper nodded as he absorbed my words, and then smirked. "Well, if you don't manage to convince me of its worth, unlimited showers might." He walked into the bathroom but left the door ajar, clearly not bothered by silly human notions such as privacy by the use of a locked door.

The rustling of fabric touching fabric conjured up images of his nude body in my mind—which I'd seen in visions when I was unfortunate enough to witness his intimacy with Maria—and I had to remind myself that it would probably be quite a while before he and I were at a level where we could be physical with each other, and I'd better learn to control myself before I scared him off.

"Do you want me to get rid of the clothes you had?" I called out to get my thoughts away from touching his skin all over with my hands and mouth. I hadn't anticipated I'd feel such forceful lust just because he was near me.

"Yeah, they are a bit worse for wear, aren't they?" he mused before they were tossed out in a big bundle through the opening. I caught them midair and got a lungful of the scent permeating the fabric, which was just pure Jasper, and I had to hold back a moan.

What was wrong with me? Why was I suddenly a heaping, useless mess of lustful thoughts and feelings? Why couldn't I control myself?

"Thank you, Alice," he softly said and followed up the words with a light chuckle, which immediately reminded me of the fact that he could feel everything I was feeling.

Oh, he definitely knew what I was struggling with. A fleeting thought made me wonder if he perhaps even played a bit with me by enhancing what he'd read was already there. It would explain why, instead of calming down, I only seemed to get worse.

"Are you the one doing that to me?" I accused and narrowed my eyes, even though he couldn't see it from inside the shower.

"Doin' what?" he asked much too innocently.

I closed my eyes for a moment to see what exactly would happen if I did the impulsive thing his manipulations led me to want, which was to join him in the shower, but realized quickly that while he was being playful now, it was much too early for us to take such a huge leap forward with our intimacy.

"Be careful, Major," I said, playing along for a moment and lowering my voice to make it more sultry. He'd only heard me speak in my usual light tones, so I knew changing it would make the message more clear. "Keep that up and you might get exactly what you're asking for."

His laughter echoed through the bathroom, and then finally, the heady lust making my head swim eased up, and I stepped away to dispose of the old clothes he'd worn pretty much since he left Mexico.

Had they been less worn, I could have simply requested them to be washed by the hotel's laundry, and then conveniently forgotten them when I checked out. As it were, they had to be tossed, and when I inspected them closer and found small dots of blood, burning them was the only option left.

I decided I'd do that the next day away from the hotel, so I rolled them up so they'd fit in my handbag.

"Alice, what is this supposed to be?" Jasper asked, and when I turned around, I saw the necktie in his hand. He'd already put on the socks, trousers, belt, and shirt I'd provided him, but the lightweight knitted V-neck sweater hung over his arm.

"It's a tie," I said. "Quite different from the ones you had as a human, but they work much in the same way. Do you want me to tie it for you or show you how it's done on me?"

He considered it—I could tell as much from the two visions I got: one very intimate and the other more educational—but despite his playfulness earlier, he wasn't fully comfortable with pushing boundaries just yet, so he settled for me showing him.

"I'd like to learn so I know how it's done. Wouldn't want to rely on you every time."

Had I still possessed the ability to blush, I know I would have in reaction to his words because they told me he wasn't only open to me being in his life from now on; he already embraced it as his long-term reality.

I took the tie from him with a coy smile. "Maybe not every time, but I certainly wouldn't be against it every now and then."

"You saw somethin' when I considered it, didn't you?" His tone remained curious and intrigued instead of defensive of the fact I knew his train of thought without asking, and my hope that his feelings would develop sooner rather than later grew.

He, at least, wasn't opposed to my intrusive ability, so that was a huge positive point.

Slowly, I tied the small piece of fabric into the fashionable Windsor knot, and Jasper never once tore his eyes off my hands.

"I have small visions throughout the day that I can mostly ignore because they won't really change anything no matter the outcome," I told him. "They play in the back of my mind and don't require my full attention. However"—I lifted my eyes to his, and he looked away from my hands to meet my gaze—"because your future is so intricately woven with mine, every little decision we make triggers significant visions."

"How so?"

"I told you. We're inevitable. My future is with you. The only thing left up in the air is how fast we'll get there."

The knot was finished long ago, but we were locked in each other's eyes without a need to break the contact. He read my emotions as they poured out of me in, what I could only assume it felt like to him, huge waves because they were on the brink of overwhelming me, and as he took that in, he must've made decisions about us because I saw small, fleeting glimpses of our life together, making me feel warm and happy, which he, again, read and caused more visions to come forward.

It was as if we were caught in an emotional, all-consuming whirlwind of actions and reactions. It was so powerful that years could have passed me by, and I wouldn't have noticed.

But I finally managed to pull myself away despite the Herculean effort it took. I untied the fabric around my neck and instead hung it around his. Jasper was still looking at me in awe as if he'd just come to some big realization, and I enjoyed the attention.

"You look really handsome," I said truthfully, and his eyes softened as a pleased smile graced his lips.


A/N:

There was definitely a little bit of both sides of Jasper there. He's definitely cautious about a lot of things, and he doesn't trust easily. He's open to Alice because he can constantly feel her sincerity and her genuine care and concern for him.

Poor Alice longs for him but knows he's not on her level and she's doing her best to respect that, but I know it would've been excruciatingly difficult to be in her position.

I also had to insert a bit of playfulness between them.

Alice's positive aura will help Jasper, but it'll take some time.

So, what are your thoughts?

Until tomorrow,

Stay Awesome!