AN: *leaps out of a curtain dressed as a ringmaster* Step right up, ladies and gentlemen! Come and see, things your eyes won't believe!

Some say aliens, some say strangers, some say they're not of this world at all!

We will conform to the madness, whether the normal ones scorn or attack us, come one, come all, and welcome to the Freakshow! *tosses the hat away* By which I mean, welcome to the third installment of whatever the fuck I made!

Now, may god have mercy on my soul. And if you ask why I refer to Drakus as Voidlon sometimes, it's his alias when making clothes for Void Trends and he can go by either, and maybe also because I'm sloppy with editing.


"So, Striker, you say you're good? Cuz' we really need a big score right now." Kiko said, as she sat in Hell, talking to an imp, albeit tall for the species, with a lanky frame whose puffed chest suggested hidden muscle. His skin was pointed, his face shaped like that of a snake – his eyes glowed radiantly against the dim atmosphere of the nightclub they're drinking in. A spiked tail twitched behind his slender legs. He was garbed as a cowboy, with a wide-brimmed hat and a neck bandanna, and with him were embassies of the dragon sorcerer, Nadir, a slim, pale, redheaded pegasus with long, claw-like nails, blue eyes and ruby-red lips, a silver earth pony that looked incredibly musclebound, with no mane and a blood-red zig zagged tattoo across his right side, and a unicorn. Or rather, a living shadow that resembled a unicorn.

"The best. Had a royal on the ropes about 6 and a half weeks ago!" Striker said, as a Fanglar poured him a glass of wine, while Kiko chuckled.

"Sure, sure, but not dead, right?" Kiko asked, as Striker chuckled.

"It was… called off. But I have a body count in the hundreds! I ain't afraid to go after anyone. Men, women, nonbinary folks, kids-" Striker's speech is cut off by a dog launched on the outside of the building window. "And cute little-faced puppy looking things. Don't matter!" Striker then catches onto the fact that something is going on outside. He listens to Kiko's judging while still walking to see the problem.

"Okay, tell you what; If you can do something crazy enough… I'll consider it." Kiko said, as Striker saw that people were flocking around an imp dressed as a jester, with sharp points all over – teeth, claws, tail, high heels. With every gesture he made, there was a distinct sound of mechanisms whirring, and the other was a fifteen-foot-tall Prince of Hell. Goat hooves, a feathered tail, three faces set in an electric-blue mane, dressed in a striped jacket that played well off Fizzarolli's colors.

"One moment..." Striker pulls out his lasso to chuck a bomb designed as a small blue pyramid at Fizzarolli and Asmodeus, considering the sheer thought of sending the King of Lust out of hell crazy enough to work. He does so, and the bomb explodes, sending Fizz and Ozzie somewhere no sane man would be caught dead.

"Well god damn! You're pretty good, I guess I'll get the boss on the line to get you into Deadlight." Kiko said, pulling out her phone to ring up No-Soul to let them know they have a new recruit. "And before you ask, I met another recruit a while ago. Now, play nice with her."

"Oh, and what's her name?" Striker asked, as a voice giggled and out of the shadows a unicorn emerged, not a space unicorn, but an honest to God unicorn with a dark purple coat, a long brown and red tail and short mane with the same colors. The mare's blue eyes twinkled with amusement.

"Oh I have a few different names." She sat on the floor, the three other ponies only then realising that the new mare was a quadruped, no hands or feet like a space pony, just hooves, a peek at her flank revealed a mark of a book with a quill laid on top. "In this form...I called myself Quilla, yes call me that. Quilla." She grinned. "Anyway like I said I can help you."

"And what makes you think I need help?" Striker scoffed.

"...The fact your boss is batting the X-Squad 2 to zero." Quilla drawled "Sure you've gained power, but not once have you succeeded in your primary goal." She smiled "But, I can help you. All we need is a Pretty Person, and a lot of drugs."

"Pretty Person?" Striker looked confused at the name. "What do you mean pretty, for all we know, Kiko's boss could probably be just summoning some fai-" With a crack of teleportation, Quilla was in Striker's face blue eyes slitted like a serpent.

"DO NOT INVOKE THEIR NAME IN MY PRESENCE." The imp fell off the chair, Quilla shaking it off. "...Don't invoke their name, the Fair Folk are not to be messed with."


When Fizz woke up, he saw the damn sun hit his eyes as he got up, as Ozzie got up and dusted his jacket off.

"So, to recap, I went to get milk, you came along in case I got kidnapped again, a bomb was thrown at us, and now we're in the human world." Fizzarolli said, slowly realizing that this is gonna suck. "Oh shit, we're in the human world." As Ozzie and Fizz tried to grab the nearest disguise to try and not get caught by anyone that could try to capture them, they stopped, and saw that they were spotted by a strange sight, a girl in a blue and black dress with light blue hair.

"Yep, we're caught." Ozzie said, just praying that they aren't gonna be turned into a display. "So, who are you?"

"What was that earlier? That weird sensation? Were those rocks really speaking to...me? No... impossible, I must be tired, it has been a long day. Anyway, I'm certain this is where I left those lollipops when those rocks hit the ground, I'll pick them up and head ho-" The girl muttered and turned around, only to gawk at the sight. "D-demons?! Like in mythology?!"

"Okay, we're getting somewhere." Fizz said, surprised to see that this girl speaks English, as the two followed her home, as the girl grumbled something about stealing lollipops and now seeing hallucinations.

"I'm home!" The girl said, inviting the demons to come along. "Oh Sabrina, you're a bit late, did something happen?" What could only be the girl's mother said. "No, I just got distracted, that's all." The girl, Sabrina, said. "Well alright. Anyway, dinner's almost ready so sit yourself down." Fizz and Ozzie followed Sabrina towards what can only be assumed as her house.

"...uh huh..." Ozzie said, somehow wondering if the food's good.

"This is my house, you two. Come in, please." Sabrina said, as the trio sat down. "So how was school?" Sabrina's mom, who's apparently the spitting image of her, Mileena said. "It was ok, I guess. Though it would be nice if that spoiled brat Bowla would stop getting her perfect marks by threatening the teachers." Sabrina said. "The Mervaradi Family are certainly a troublesome bunch." Mileena said. "Well, I hope this cheers you up. I was able to get some fish from the docks, so we'll be having a few fish dinners for a while instead of just mangos." Fizz and Ozzie were shook as to the only food here being mangoes.

"Wow. Thanks mum, this beats mangos any day. Though I would like other kinds of food every once in a while." Sabrina said, as Fizz and Ozzie gawked at how weird this is.

"I know dear, but Mango Island has a very limited food source, and outside food is just too expensive." Fizz gawked at the possible implications of the economy being bad. "In fact, personally I would love to move back to London. But because of your good-for-nothing father, we're stuck here. I mean honestly, leaving without a word was bad enough, but taking every last penny we had with him." Ozzie listened intently. "Umm... A-Any word from Daddy? Did he call yet?" Sabrina asked, as Fizz and Ozzie realized one thing, Sabrina's dad is a deadbeat. "No dear. Still no word from him. Though I would not hesitate hanging up on him if he did." Mileena said, as Fizz and Ozzie gawked at this conversation going into tearjerker territory as Fizz hugged Ozzie, only to realize Mileena and Sabrina were staring. "Ya mind?! Tryna have an unemotional bang sesh here!" Fizz said, trying to keep what dignity he had preserved. "Fizz, you do realize no one knows about us." Ozzie realized, as Fizz facepalmed, as if he didn't know that. "Yeah but-" Sabrina started.

"Sabrina, please don't try to convince me. I'm completely through with him. In fact I don't even know why I brought him up in the first place. The only thing I appreciate him for is giving me a wonderful smart daughter like you. But I would still appreciate it if we never spoke about him again ok?" Mileena said.

"Ok... sorry mum." Sabrina said, tearing up. "...No, I'm sorry. I know you loved him so much, I shouldn't have brought him up like that." Mileena said. "Anyway, let's not ruin this dinner with talk like that. It's not often we get fish for dinner."

"Yeah, you're right, forget that quack. There are better things than him." Sabrina chuckled, though internally, she still cried, wanting to find out where he went and why her father left her and Mileena here.


One dinner later...


Once Sabrina, Ozzie and Fizz finished dinner, Sabrina flopped on the bed and stared at the strange rocks she found, resembling a dragon and a human with a mask, as well as Ozzie and Fizz. "You owe me lollipops!" She shouted, only to lay down on the bed. "Look at me, talking to rocks and hallucinations like that. I really must be tired."


Next day...


"Oh. Morning, Sabrina." Mileena said. "Morning mum." Sabrina said, as Fizzarolli wakes up. He punches the clock and stretches his arms out to the kitchen, passing by Mileena and makes himself some coffee. But he burns himself so he takes the coffee back, passing Mileena again, making her twirl in place, and sets it on a desk. he stretched out and grabs one of his hats, and stretches, Fizzarolli then grabs the coffee and drinks it, before throwing it away and stretching his limbs to above Asmodeus.

"Wakey, wakey, Ozzie!" Fizzarolli said, as shakes an air horn and sets it off, startling Asmodeus, who lays back down. "Ugh, again with the horn?" Ozzie said. "Don't blame me, blame how fuckin' fun they are!"

"I'll make you breakfast in a minute. Let me just finish watering the plants." Mileena said. "What? I'm not cooking?" Fizz said. "I mean... unless you want me to take a crack at cooking again."

Ozzie laughed a bit before his face turned blank. "No. Never again."

"Whaaaat? Maybe I could burn the milk this time!" Fizz said.

"Oh that reminds me, there's a letter for you in the hallway." Mileena said, as Sabrina's interest peaked. "Hm? A letter? That's new."

"I know. We never got any mail addressed to you personally. It's not from school either." Mileena said.

"So... who's it from?" Fizz said.

"I honestly don't know. There's no return address or anything. It was delivered at midnight as well. Whoever sent it must've been desperate to make sure it got there." Mileena said, as Fizz nabbed it out of Sabrina's hands and read it. "Dear Sabrina, we would like to congratulate you in finding two of our special invitational rocks. Finding even one of them means you have earned yourself an all expense-paid cruise trip across the world. Explore the whole wide world, seeing the many amazing sights and sceneries, taste the magnificent food from other lands and meet brand new people. All you need to do is bring the proof, the invitational rocks that fell from the sky, and two whole weeks of free food and scenery is all yours. The RV will be arriving tomorrow at the northern docks. we do hope you accept our proposal, as this is a once in a lifetime opportunity to see the world for no price at all."


"So, you're saying we're being sent to this universe, because the King of Lust was attacked in a bombing by a wanted assassin?" Drakus asked. "So, what are you paying us?"

"As much as I need to. Now go and do the job." Anubis said.

"Very well, boss." Jay said, ordering the X-Squad to pack their bags, cause they're going on a road trip, as the squad scrambled to pack their things for the trip.

[WOOOOOOOOOOO!]

[yeah boi]

GlaDOS: [hmmmmm, I wonder what sort of tests will be run?]

"Oh, and by the by, you have some new recruits." Anubis said, as he summoned a frog man with tan skin and four arms wearing a monk-like robe and a shark man in futuristic armor. "General Pong Krell, Ambassador Riff Tamson, this is the X-Squad, your new group."

"So it may seem, Anubis. They have proven to be more resourceful than we anticipated." The frog man, Pong Krell, said. "I find it very interesting, Captain Hydrax, that you are able to recognize the value of a strategic mind, for a pirate. Stand at attention when I address you."

"Silence! You haven't earned the right to speak at this gathering. Do not forget I am here at the request of Anubis, because you, Krell, demanded to be revived." Riff, the shark man, said, as a jester, a ringmaster with a head made of teeth, a ragdoll, a bunny, a being made of ribbons and a mask, a mix-and-match thing, a man made of notes, a magician, a tiger, a spider woman, a yellow-skinned man and a king chess piece somehow manifested into the room. Freaked out by all the zaniness going on around her, the jester tries to reach for an exit door, only for the door to vanish into thin air. She falls back as she avoids getting squished by a potted flower which starts glitching into the ground. While backing up, she bumps into some of the squad, making them fall.

"Kaine, is this one of your adventures? 'Cause if it's a new adventure, we're gonna have to redo this whole theme song." The bunny, Jax, said, his teeth never moving, as the chess piece started spazzing like a GMOD ragdoll.

"I'm not doing that again." The mix-and-match toy, Zooble, said.

"Me neither." The wind up toy, Gizmo, said.

"My my, it appears we entered a new realm!" The teeth-headed...thing, Kaine, said.

"...What's going on? W-W-We were having that feast, and now we're here? Who are you people? Why can't we go back? Where are we?!"

"Let's just try to calm down. Everything's gonna be okay, Pomni. We've been through this. You just need to get your head to-" The magician, Aburi, said.

"What in the everloving (ZAP!) is going on?!" The jester, apparently Pomni, said, clutching her head and eyes going spastic.

"Seems the Amazing Digital Circus already deprived you of swearing." Anubis said. "Don't worry, it'll come back with time."

"You! Do you like adventure? Activity, wonder, danger, horror, pain, suffering, agony, death, disease, death, angel food cake?" Kaine said, as a bubble with sharp teeth, Bubble, a wooden snake, Snazz, and a white tiger, Rueben, ate the angel food cake. "This again?!" Kaine shouted.

"Oh, we're probably in just one of Kaine's little adventures. They're just something fun to do to, you know, prevent us from going insane. Heh." The ragdoll, Ragatha, said.

"Hi." A sinewy and white-skinned woman said, as she stumbled out of a portal filled with smoke, wearing a brown bra and purple jeans, black shoes, and bracelets. Her most noticeable features were her tattoos of stylized clouds, pink eyes, and really long blue hair that almost reaches to the ground and the snake like rock she was holding.

[crap!]

[WE GOT FUCKIN' JINXED!]

[Drakus, whatever you do, don't set her off!]

"So, erm, Jinx, was it?" Drakus said.

"That's me!" The girl, apparently also named Jinx, introduced, taking a bow.

"I'm proud to announce you part of the X-Squad." Drakus said. "May you find a family and some lock of sanity."

"Oh Lance! You ate my entire family! Now how are we supposed to get married?" An oddly female voice came from a nearby robot.

"Can someone...fix him?" Drakus asked.

"I got it!" Roman said, as he whacks the bot on the head with his right hand, returning him to reality.

"You TWIT! You dare lay your squishy hands on me? I'll rip you in half!" The robot said, trying to choke Roman, only to be held at arms length.

Just then, five people dressed in black and purple with purple streaks in their hair appeared. "Hello there!" The apparent patriarch said.

[SHIT!]

[THE AFTONS TOO?!]

[RUN!]

"Yikes, better kill it before it eats us." Roman said.

"I'm not an it. My name is Willam Afton." The man, William, said.

"Wait, is the girl okay or...?" Mystle asked, wondering about the woman behind him.

"Yeah, she's just sleeping." William said. "But can you tell us where we are?"

"Oh, you're in a low income housing environment that goes by the government name of Section 8. Me and my allies here control certain areas of this section in order to run our illegitimate business. We possess unregistered firearms, stolen vehicles, mind-altering inhibitors and only use cash for financial purchases. If anyone here would like to settle unfinished altercations, I will be more than happy to release my address. I would like to warn you; I am a very dangerous person and I regularly disobey the law." Drakus explained. "So. Why are your eyes white, why do you all smell like metal and what are you?"

"First off, I got in an accident but I can still see, secondly, I was just at work as an engineer, so we were around metal, that's probably why, and I'm definitely not a demon." William said.

"Technically, dad is a demon." The other male, Michael Afton, said, making William glare at him.

"And if we're being technical, the whole family are demons as well!" William snapped.

"Shut up before I make you..." The woman, Clara Afton, mumbled, as William shook in his boots.

"O-Ok sorry dear..." William said.

"Whipped." Drakus whispered.

"Have I ever told you how much I hate the concept of drudgery?"

The guy who said that was a slender blond man, quite pale, dressed in a mechanic's jumpsuit of dull blue. "Hard labor, there's a time and a place, and I'm always proud of a job well done," he went on. "But drudgery? Worse than tedium if you ask me."

"I don't think–" Arachna, the spider girl, attempted. The rest of her sentence would've had something to do with how drudgery was an abstract concept in the eye of the beholder.

But the blond man kept going. "I always thought tedium was one of the worst things that existed. I hate hate hate HATE boredom to the point where if I could touch boredom, I would undo every seam of it and take it apart and apart until it's in so many pieces that it doesn't even exist anymore. But drudgery is tedium applied to work, ain't it? That's even worse! Now you don't just gotta be bored; you gotta tire yourself out in the very act of bein' bored! Doesn't seem fair to me."

"Are you talki–" The king chess piece, Kinger, started.

"If I ever meet the bastard who invented drudgery," the blond went on, "he's dead. I'll enjoy taking him apart piece by piece by little piece, hands and fingers and knees and feet and neck until all the blood drains out of him. I'll be sure to take it nice and slow so he gets a taste of his own medicine."

"No one invented dru–" The mask with a body made of string, Gangle, began.

"FUCK DRUDGERY!" The blond was now stomping his feet. "DAY IN, DAY OUT, ALL I GET IS DRUDGERY! WELL, I'M SICK OF IT, YOU HEAR ME? FUCKIN' SICK OF IT!"

"Okay, now either shut up, or I'll make you shut up." Drakus said.

The blond's eyes widened. "Did you…just threaten me?" He broke into sonorous laughter. "YOU HEAR THAT? DRAGON KID JUST THREATENED ME! Oh, brother, do you got any single solitary little idea who the fuck I am? If not, just try it," the blond said through gritted teeth. "No, really, try me! You think you can best Graham Specter? Then go ahead! Hit me with your best shot!"

Drakus then kicked him across the room, sending Graham into a wall, the hapless blonde now had swirls in his eyes, mumbling about anyone having the number of the car that hit him.

"Sir, are you ok? You're bleeding." The youngest male, Chris Afton, asked, concerned for the man's health.

"You got any idea what you just did?" a deep, intimidating voice rumbled in her ear. "That right there was my lieutenant and my personal pet. I'm willin' to let it fly if you apologize, but rule number one here is you fuck with me or Graham, that's it. It's over. You're DONE. And I ain't in a good mood, either, so I'm lookin' for an excuse."

Drakus had a good view of the man: broad-shouldered, well-built, square-jawed. Tousled blond hair dangled above his wide eyes and crazed grin. He was dressed in an immaculate snow-white tuxedo. In his hands was the rifle that he was now pressing to the dragon prince's jawline.

"Eh, I'm sorry. That pretty cute blondie was asking for it." Drakus smirked.

After a beat, the man in the white tuxedo started to laugh long and loud. "A wise guy! Now that's funny. Anyway – "

He turned the rifle on them, sweeping the barrel across the squad. They cringed or chuckled in response.

"If you want to bleed out, let me speed up the process!" The younger female, Elizabeth Afton, chuckled, as if telling the man to bring it on.

This prompted the man to point the rifle directly upward, out of the way. "Good," he said. "You know who to be afraid of around here. If there's one kind of person I always gotta kill, it's the one who's just so fuckin' sure I ain't gonna pull the trigger."

"Before anyone asks, Liz ain't a demon, she just wants to fight someone." William said.

Without thinking, Drakus blurted, "I filmed myself killing people, but it's so fun to break the confident ones, really make them suffer."

"Same, only with out the filming, and a lot more kids." William said, earning stares from everyone. "I ain't no perv if that's what you're thinking!"

The white-tuxedo man's eyes widened. "You make snuff films or somethin'? You got my respect, pal. Killer to killer." He put out his hand. "Name's Ladd Russo. Leader of this here outfit."

Drakus examined Ladd's hand, wondering if taking it would seal a covenant between them or just offer Ladd another route to throw him around.

"Smart guy." Ladd pocketed his hand. "I see you've caught people unawares in a handshake before."

"So who's the redhead?" The living crystal orb, Orby, asked.

"Me?" the redhead replied. "Oh yeah, I suppose you would need to know my name if we're gonna be workin' together. You can just call me 'The Rail Tracer.' Odd name, I know. I sure went through a whole bunch of others back in the day. Claire, Vino, Felix…none of 'em ever seemed to stick long. Always just came back to the title I got as a bit of a ghost story. They thought I was some sort of monster that haunted trains, see, but the truth is, I was just such a good assassin, the only way they could explain all my work was to say I was somethin' supernatural, when that was not in fact the case. You can go ahead and give me the old 'they/them,' too, though if you call me a 'he,' I would not begrudge you in the slightest. After all, I spent a few decades thinkin' that was my only option. Then all of a sudden people are callin' themselves 'they' and I'm thinkin'…that's it, that's what fits. After all I ain't just a mere man."

"Hear hear!" Zooble, Taylor and Ark whooped.

"Pity no one thought of it a lot earlier, where I come from," the Rail Tracer went on. "Anyhow, that's the long and short of it, unless you got questions. I don't really withhold information, so ask anything you want."

"You look quite young for someone who has lived 'decades,'" Ridley observed. "Usually that is a turn of phrase employed by those who are older."

The Tracer chuckled. "Well, you see, this ain't what I looked like when I died. My wife and I, we passed peacefully of old age, which is maybe poetic irony given how we spent our lives. Then, of course, when we turned up here in the afterworld, we looked more like we did in what we considered our ultimate prime, way back in the 1930s. And boy, did the world change between then and now. It's like people forgot entirely what it meant to be part of a gang. You couldn't just sign up on some website and call yourself a 'Dollar' back in the day. No, you had to prove yourself, and you had to be cut out for it."

"So you were a gangster," The yellow toy stuntman, CrossFire, realized. "Old-fashioned."

[OH FUCK!]

[RUN!]

[IT'S MOTHERFUCKING VINO OH SHIT!]

"You got it," the Tracer replied. "Worked as an assassin, primarily loyal to the Gandors. The Gandor brothers were my childhood friends, you see, almost like my brothers. Sure wish I knew where they ended up, but in all these worlds out here, can't say I'm surprised we never crossed paths."

They then saw a tall, lithe, and pale woman in a black cocktail dress, her plum-colored hair in a pixie cut that framed her continuous scowl fighting a Fanglar that somehow got into the room. Both parties had drawn knives.

"Speakin' of which," the Tracer said, "if you'll excuse me, that is my wife bein' harassed, so I feel the need to check if I should step in."

[DAMN!]

[Claire's wife be looking fine!]

"Seriously, chat?" Hibiki said. "Just...wait til they're in."

Without any further word, they set off, hurtling toward the scene of the fight. They positioned themself some distance behind the male aggressor, then put their palm out flat and put a thumbs-up fist into it with the other hand. They then raised both hands into the air. Sign language for the word "Help."

"Chane Laforet, was it?" Zap asked after Drakus immediately shot the Fanglar before it could hit Chane. "Did I say it right?"

Chane nodded.

"Impressive," said the Tracer. "Most people don't."

"Welcome to hell," Neo signed. "I'm sure Drakus can explain the state of things."

Outside, two black swans were hanging out, and eating some grass. The male black swan noticed the X-Squad staring at them after having chats, and turned to his mate.

"Oy Olivia, those misfits are looking at us. You think they're gonna attack our cygnets?"

The female looked at them, and then looked back at him.

"I don't think they will, Wilhelm, but I think we should keep an eye on them just in case."

They went back to eating their grass, while making sure their 5 cygnets were close by. Mystle was the only one that noticed that the two black swans were talking, but she didn't say anything. She didn't want her friends to think she was weird if she was wrong, so she just continued to watch the birds.

Unfortunately, trouble was about to hit the black swans.

Three thots, and two dude bros started to walk towards the black swans. Willy and Olivia knew that these types of people bring trouble. So Olivia covered the cygnets under her right wing, while Wilhelm stood up, and walked up to the group.

"AW HELL NAWW!!!! Dis swan given us dat angry look!" One of the thots with blond hair yelled. (AN: Don't worry, it'll hurt less if you read it like a normal person.)

"Listen BRO! U better stop looking at us like that U fat ass bird!" A dude bro yelled, while holding up his black shirt to show off his abs.

Wilhelm didn't respond, and just stared at them in anger, or boredom, he can't decide.

"Dats it BRO! You gonna get an ass whoopin!"

The black shirt dude bro was about to punch the swan, but Wilhelm noticed that he was wearing sweatpants, and bit the black shirt dude bro in the nuts out of sheer crackhead courage, making the man scream and fall to the ground in pain, pissing off the Thots and the other dude bro that was wearing a tank top.

"HELL NAWW!!! U dont mess with ma man!" A thot with brown hair yelled.

They were about to gang up on poor Wilhelm, but stopped when they heard someone yell at them from behind.

"So, you wanna play?! Okay, let's play!" Ladd said, eager for a fight as the squad rushed outside. They were not impressed. The blond thot walked up to Ladd, and grabbed him by his shirt collar.

"U LITTLE BITCH BOY! U DUNT TALK TO US LIKE THAT!"

The thot was about to bitch smack Ladd across the face, but strangely enough, a girl with brunette hair in a giant ponytail was there. She grabbed the thot's hand, and twisted it until the thot let go of Ladd. Of course the other thots and the dude bro were not happy.

[Ladd, what have you done?]

[May God help you]

"U bitch! U dunt fuck with my girl!" The thot with black hair yelled.

Just as they started to run at the girl, a very loud voice stopped them in their tracks.

"HEY! What's going on out- bloody hell! I WARNED YOU THOTS TO NEVER COME BACK AFTER YOU ALMOST KILLED CHUMLEY!"

Everyone looked up to the RV besides the restaurant, and saw a penguin looking out the window, a walrus beside him with a little bit of blue powder on his nose. The thots looked kinda scared, but the tank top dude bro got angry.

"Hey! U gonna come down here so I can beat you and these freaks up to?"

The penguin just got infuriated, before calming down and frowning as he pulled out a Luger.

"Come now Chumley, seems we need to sort some ill-mannered idiots out."

The walrus, apparently Chumley, chuckled.

"Duh, gee, Tennessee...let me get the shovel!" Chumley said.

Tennessee and Chumley jumped out of the window, landed on the ground, and ran towards the tank top dude bro. Tennessee then decked the dude bro so hard, that his head was torn off his body and flung into the air. The dude bro was instantly killed by this as Chumley started beating the corpse with said shovel.

As soon as the dude bros body hit the ground, everyone looked at his lifeless body in shock. The Thots were considering just running away, but instead decided that they could maybe take the two on.

"U FURRIES! WE GONNA KILL YA!"

The two thots were about to start scratching at Tennessee and Chumley, but Wilhelm flew at the brown haired thot, and grabbed her hair with his mouth. The thot flailed around, and eventually fell to the ground, while Wilhelm continued to pull.

Chumley took advantage of the distraction, and grabbed the other thot by the neck. He then chokeslammed her, breaking her neck.

Meanwhile, the brunette girl, a purple-haired girl, a pinkette, a girl with coral pink hair, Kanade, Yuina, Ridley, Graham, Tracer, Chane, William, and Mystle were brutally beating the blond thot to a bloody pulp while she was on the ground, with the rest of the X-Squad joining in. Ladd wasn't really sure if the thot was still alive or not, but soon stopped focusing on her when he noticed the dude bro that William bit in the nuts was standing back up.

The black shirt dude bro pulled out a knife, and was looking to stab Wilhelm, who was too distracted attacking the brown haired thot. Ladd quickly ran to the dude bro, and decided to have a talk with him.

"So, ya think you can take me on, when you can't even beat a swan?" Ladd retorted, gun aimed at the dude bro's head, the dude bro was about to start yelling at him, but stopped to actually think about what he was doing.

"Well, you… Well… Oh man bro, what was I doing? Bro…"

The dude bro then sat down on the ground to reflect on his life choices.

"Wat da fuck U doing? HELP ME!" The brown haired thot yelled, but the dude bro didn't listen.

"You're not getting any help, you waste of life!" Tennessee yelled.

Chumley stomped on the thot's head, crushing it, and Tennessee looked back at the brunette and the X-Squad, who were clearly having fun beating the thots to death.

"Alright, you had your fun. Besides, she's already dead."

The brunette delivered one last punch, and stood back up. She looked around at the other killed thots, and the dude bro's headless corpse in the distance. But her attention was drawn to the dude bro that was sitting down.

"What happened to that one?"

The dude bro looked up at her.

"That guy's right, I need better things to do with my life… "

The brunette looked over at the X-Squad.

"Umm, I'm Monika by the way, the others are Yuri, Natsuki and Sayori. What's your name?"

Mystle smiled.

"This is the X-Squad, only the best band of misfits around."

Monika smiled, while the squad looked at Tennessee and Chumley.

"Tennessee Tuxedo's the name, and this is my chum, Chumley." Tennessee said.

"It's nice to meet ya!" Chumley said, eating the flesh of the dead thots and dude bro for sustenance.

"But this is just the beginning. There are things worse than dude bros and thots that must be dealt with if we are to stop their wrath." Drakus said.

"What do you suggest that we do?" Monika asked.

"Well, you can join the X-Squad. Would you be interested in joining? And don't worry Monika, any friends of yours will join too."

Monika, Natsuki, Sayori, Yuri, Tennessee and Chumley looked at each other, and nodded.

"We're in!" They said in unison.

"I want in too!"

The squad looked around to see where that very Australian voice came from. But after a few moments, Wilhelm walked in front of them.

"It was me, I want to help you take these cunts down!"

Monika and the squad were extremely confused.

"Oh crumbs, I forgot to post an announcement a few weeks ago. You see, the black swans around here all got into the meth that me and Chumley cooked out here, mostly because the police would be suspicious of us asking Phineas J. Whoopee how to run a drug ring. I'm not sure how, but it made them all sentient." Tennessee said.

Monika and the X-Squad thought about it for a moment, and realized that it made sense considering all the weird shit going on. They looked back at the swan, and smiled.

"Ok, then, better learn to shoot guns, my fine feathered bringer of hell." Roman said.

"Alright! Oh, and the name's Wilhelm."


Castle Avalon, the home to the crystal dragon, Malzen, known to his closest allies as the dark sorcerer, Horus, and his legion of beasts, and where Deadlight now resides. Horus yearns for a new world to replace the old world, to overthrow the rich nobles who only saw him as his father's son, unite the war torn reality that got where it was due to the petty squabbles of spoiled rich leaders and the petty and vindictive gods, with his regime as the one to lead it. However, with the ever-growing number of superhumans, both good and evil, it has proven a problem to do so, the villains were already a problem, but the heroes can't use their skills to fix up everything that is wrong with the world. Crime, corruption, general douchebaggery would still exist. Thankfully, with the aid of his new subordinate, a fellow abandoned soul with a machine capable of traversing dimensions, who claims to have found a world that will provide them with the power they need to change the world they sought, an orderly world, they'll gain it. If, of course, the villains were sane.

"Well, the X-Squad is pretty interesting." The newest general of Deadlight, Ophelia Bloodsworth, said, in a chipper and glitchy voice as she talked with Malzen. She was using her armor, that of a ringmaster-themed ensemble, Ophelia was a girl with long black hair and red and blue eyes and a pale gaunt face, with her own right-hand man, Furnace, stood beside her, a tall, gray robot that resembled a hedgehog with bulky forearms, hands, forelegs, and feet, with gray "ears", a few spines that extend from the back of his head, and his torso being akin to a typical furnace hatch. His optics also constantly have a red-orange glow, which somehow matched with the jester outfit he wore, colored coal black and steam gray. Having absorbed some of No-Soul's essence after inadvertently crashing into him while chasing Sonic, Ophelia decided to patch up Furnace and hell lead Deadlight, after all, why merely try and rule her world, when she can help No-Soul take the omniverse.

"Well, you see, Mr. Malzen, despite our recent losses, the ratings for both of those shows were through the roof." Cosmo Royale said.

"And very amusing, considering the amount of madness going on during the shows. Now that's a show I'd watch." Zircon said.

"No doubt one of Boleas' warriors will score the win. They're the strongest!" Beastly, a pig-like monster, said.

"Oh please, Bismuth's goons would run circles around him." Shreeky, a human girl dressed like a punk mixed with witch, said smugly.

"Oh, let's see if those brainy warriors can think when Boleas paints the room with their brain matter." Beastly growled.

"They can't find their butts with both hands on their cheeks, let alone beat one of Bismuth's goons." Shreeky said.

"Cut it out!" Furnace said, in a raspy staticy voice. "Ay yi yi, it's like corralling flickeys..." he sighed as he rubbed his temple as Horus bridged his nose at the madness. "Alright, Ophelia. According to the stars, we need to weaken this 'Kraven' before we can take the power from Skylands, in order to do so, we must gather ten people with these elemental marks. With their powers over the Traptanium Portals and my magic, they can traverse to Skylands. Cosmo, go announce the new theme for the show."

"Yeah, and we also need to grab these Eternal Sources, each based on the eleven elements, to get rid of Ol' Sergei. Once he's out of the way, we can drain the magic from Skylands and use it for our new world." Ophelia said.

"Correct, and the stars have aligned to reveal these marks, and I believe they have shown our first one." Horus said, as his crystalline body shone brightly, the stars in the crystals aligned to show a girl with blue hair, that dressed like a thug. "I'm not entirely sure of her exact location, but I know she resides in Kronos' room, Satsuuki Sakurae, the Portal Master of the Magic Element, she is our first target."

"Wait, is that...?" Birch realized. "It's…" As recognition washed over her, so did black course through her veins. "HER!" Her eyes darkened considerably.

"Huh?! She's a human! These Portal Masters can't be human. They're a bunch of asses that're only good for food." Ophelia said.

"Oh ho ho, Ophi girl, that's kinda rich coming from a vampire who can't even drink blood." Birch remarked. "Plus, she's a yakuza thug!" Birch added.

"Also, we have discussed this, humans are not to be underestimated, especially with the growing number of super humans. As far as I'm aware she is a video game character, but she is still valuable to us." Horus said.

"Video game character doesn't even describe this gal, Luxy boy!" Birch said, as Horus' face flushed at the mention of him being a former part of the House of Lux.

"As our best negotiator, you are tasked with convincing her to join us in our cause, tell her that we will give anything she desires, regardless of morality, and remember, she must willingly join us." Horus said.

"Hmph, lowering ourselves to ask help from humans, very well, orders are orders. I'll ensure she doesn't say no." Ophelia said.

"Failure is not an option, one last thing however, unless they are an accomplice to our targets, do not let anyone undesirable follow you into the portal should Sakurae bode well and we can start looking for the rest." Horus said.


Later...


Kronos wasn't exactly willing to let Ophelia talk with Satsuuki considering how... flustered she gets. But, letting her fool around trying to boot up the game was pretty funny.

"The Portal is reacting. Satsuuki must be inside." Ophelia said, as Kronos booted up Harem Residence as it sucked Ophelia in and he got out until she told him it was okay.

"Hey, Fumiko-sama!" the masked girl that appeared beside her said. "New girl appeared!" The girl said, a growl in her voice, as a dark-skinned girl and the girl that matched the Magic Portal Master's picture ran up to the two. "Ah~! I knew you wouldn't stay away for long..."

"I'm doing just fine, thank you." Ophelia pushed past the masked girl, hoping not to run into any more thugs. Though oddly enough, there didn't seem to be any other characters in the hall. Hopefully they were staying in their designated locations.

"Um, Ophelia, you alive?" Kronos' voice said, his voice coming from a nearby radio.

"Kain-san!" Fumiko chirped, her voice sweet like honey, and Ophelia flopped to the floor. "I didn't realize you were here!"

"So you came, huh?" What was assumed to be Satsuuki through the process of elimination said, her voice oddly high-pitched.

"Erm, missed me?" Kronos' embarrassed tone of voice indicated that he was flustered with having to go to a hentai game. "Like hell, you fool!" Satsuuki snapped, as Ophelia bowed.

"My name is Kharite, erm, Ophelia works too. We have been searching for you, Sakurae. My master wants you on his team to help make the world united under his rule, he said he'll give you anything you desire. See, the boss just wants to unite the world, he's not what you would call "evil"... and to top it off, your little group can be one of the top gangs in Japan. What do you say?" Ophelia explained.

Satsuuki blushed and stammered. "I-buh-guh-nuh-what?! B-but we just met-" She said, only for Ophelia to drag the hapless thug through the portal. "Alright, just let the servants go and get you a new suit and wait for the boss to talk to you." Ophelia said, as Fumiko and Tsubaki asked Satsuuki to write back.


Later...


"Why, just...why?" Satsuuki asked, blushing at her new outfit, which made her look like the lovechild between Christine Daaé and the Phantom of the Opera.

"Thanks, we normally don't let humans around our castle, but I'm glad you seem to have better standards than most." Ophelia said. "Oh, right, sorry, I almost forgot, your Traptanium Portal."

"Uh..." Satsuuki said, confused. "What's a Portal Master, what's Skylands, and why do you need me?"

"According to the stars, you are one eleventh of a true Portal Master, highly revered, powerful beings that can control the Portal of Power at will, and Skylands is a magical world in the center of the omniverse that contains an endless expanse of clouds, with large and small floating isles; each with its own world, inhabited by both normal and fantastic creatures, and we require the assistance of ten more with special marks such as yourself." Malzen said, as he flew through the crystals in his lair.

"That's right, and pops here asked me to gather the rest of them." Ophelia said, smirking.

"Wait, you're his daughter?!" Satsuuki asked, worried about the implications. "I really don't see the resemblance."

"He's more of a father to me than my original parents." Ophelia said. "Now then, as someone who represents the Magic Element. I figured you should indulge yourself in the library."

"Here we have hundreds of books ranging from the history of ancient artefacts or straight up spell books. You should be able to take full advantage of them." Horus said.

"Wow, so I can read all of these? I'll be sure to take in as much knowledge as I need." Satsuuki asked, bowing respectfully.

"Of course. Just wash your hands before you touch any of them, I don't want you tainting them." Horus said, as he sensed his astrolabe glowing as it rotated at speeds unheard of for normal astrolabes. "The stars have located another Portal Master, the one who represents the Dark Element. Ophelia, come with me, you are required once again." Malzen said, gliding through the crystals.

"Good, tell the constructors to reconfigure the portal to their location." Ophelia said.

"Uh, we'll just stay here then?" Kronos said.

"According to the stars, the one who represents the Dark Element is a young woman named Princess Morbucks, she resides in a place called Townsville." Malzen said, revealing a girl that was...oh…oh…Oh shit, she looked hot in black! Beautiful even. Ophelia was blushing deeply and thought that she wouldn't mind a rush of obsidian…Damn you, teen hormones.

"I'll take that as a yes." Megafin said.

"Oooh! How to transform peanuts and butter into peanut butter." Birch said, startling Satsuuki.

"However, for some reason, she is located in the dense jungles of Africa. Locating her may be more difficult, but do not fail me." Malzen said.


Later...


"Huh, that was easier than I thought." Ophelia said, as she trekked through the forest.

"Damn this stupid map! Why can't it tell me where to go next?!?!" A girl in full black explorer clothing said. "Hmph. All this for a diamond in a temple. Still, it can make me millions, and with my daddy's debt..."

"Once I find it, I'll be rich again, and I won't let anyone else stop me. Just remember your lifestyle is on the line." Princess said.

"My, I never would have expected such a beauty such as yours in a place like this." Ophelia said, as she appeared beside her, freaking Princess out as she leapt back.

"Wah! Who the hell are you?!" Princess said.

"Then again, I am speaking with Princess Morbucks, am I right? My name is Kharite. You need money, right? Well what if I told you that my master would be glad to give you as much as you want?" Ophelia said. "Think about it. Riches beyond your wildest dreams, plus even more, all you need to do is serve my master in his greatest mission to-"

"Pass!" Princess said.

"What?" Ophelia said.

"I don't take orders from anyone, and I would certainly not take orders from anyone who would send a creep like you to talk to me!" Ophelia said.

"You can't be serious! My master is a better boss than most other corporate moguls! He's not a dictator! And why would you decline his offer just because of how I look!?" Ophelia said, accidentally dropping her hat, causing Princess to blush deeply at how cute she's acting. "Well, um, I gotta say, you're definitely more than some Handsome Jack I say, though not that much more."

"Oh, I can be more Handsome Jack if you want." Ophelia said, coughing into her mouth before doing a solid female Handsome Jack voice. "Hey, kiddo. Jack here -- president of Hyperion. Lemme explain how things work here: Vault Hunter shows up. Vault hunter looks for the new vault. Vault Hunter gets killed. By me. Seeing the problem here? You're still alive. So, if you could just do me a favour and off yourself, that'd be great. Thanks, pumpkin."

Princess giggled a bit. "Wow! That was spot on!"

"Thanks, I used to quote him all the time!" Ophelia said.


Later...


"Yikes! What disgusting décor! You expect me to work under these conditions!? I know this is a vampire's castle and all, but would it hurt to have some colour in here!? And get someone to clean this place!" Princess ranted, after having gotten in a punk version of her past dress.

"Heh, totally a kid version of Donita." Cyberscorp said.

"Hips and everything?" Birch said.

"I'll have you know this décor is in the Top 10 in Home Décor for Evil Mystics. But I doubt a human like you would understand." Horus remarked, having appeared from the crystals adorning the mirror.

"Yah! Where'd you come from!?" Princess said.

"Furthermore, you will be working in Skylands once the remaining eight Portal Masters are gathered. You're just staying here where it's safe." Malzen said.

"But this place is disgusting, I can't sleep in a place like this! Isn't there a hotel for me to stay in?" Princess stammered.

"None that will take in someone who came from my castle. I'll have the staff make sure your quarters are up to your expectations at least." Horus offered.

"Hmph, well alright, I've been through worse I guess." Princess muttered.


Later...


"The stars have discovered the next Portal Masters, Weevil Underwood of the Life Element and Rex Raptor of the Fire Element." Malzen said.

"What a couple of dorks." Noxmar noted.

"Both kids meant for trouble." Ophelia noted.

"Creepy looking." Calamity noted.

"What's with bug boy's haircut?" Birch said.

"Alright, so, where is he?" Megafin noted.

"Both reside in a place called Domino City, we've only just reconfigured the portal to his location. However, this time you must take a different approach. Unlike Satsuuki and Princess, Weevil and Rex have had no experience in anything supernatural or monstrous. Your appearance will likely trigger a negative response, thus making it more difficult to negotiate. In addition, Weevil appears to have been in a bad mood for several days, so you must proceed with caution." Malzen explained.


Later...


"Frickin' Yugi!" Weevil exclaimed, slamming his head into the desk, as Rex leaned on the wall beside him.

"Dude, just stop. We're just gonna be sent through the wringer again. This is why we've been considered laughing stocks in the Duel Monsters ring." Rex retorted.

"I had it all, the best cards, the best strategies, I even outsmarted him too many times and even got rid of his frickin Exodia cards, but he STILL won and robbed me of MY victory, MY glory, and I got sent home after the first round. He must've cheated big time in order to beat me!" Weevil ranted. "Fine! If he has to cheat to beat me then I'll just cheat harder!"

"Well, maybe we lost mostly due to us bein' up against pros." Rex snarked.

Later at night, Ophelia looked at Weevil and Rex's sleeping bodies..

"Hmph, so arrogant and so prideful, but intelligent. This will take a little planning to get you to join us." Ophelia muttered. "But this will be a snap."


"Huh!? What the!? Am I dreaming!?" Weevil said, as him and Rex woke up in a strange circus-like den.

"You most certainly are." Ophelia said, sitting on top of the tight rope before leaping off in front of them, the tight rope revealing to be a black, red and gold wooden snake that hissed at them, his rubber tongue looking ridiculous on the monstrous snake. "Boss, can I chow down on these brats now?" The snake said, his voice eerily gentle and with a British accent.

"My name is Kharite, this is Toxicobra, and I have been informed that you are both in a bit of a rut. Lost something only you had the right to win." Ophelia said. "What if I were to tell you that you can have what is rightfully yours and more, if you choose to serve my master."

"Forget it! I'm not working for anyone, I can get what I want by myself!" Weevil said. "You do realize we got rocked hard by Yugi and Joey, right?" Rex said.

"Hm, funny. You were certainly unable to do so by yourself before. Serving my master is the only way to win! And I'll hardly take no for an answer." Ophelia said.

"Hmph! Alright then, we'll play a game, you win, we'll join you, we win, you beat it! Got it?" Weevil said, Rex desperately shaking his head no and saying they take the offer.

"Hm, are you perhaps suggesting what I think you're suggesting?" Ophelia asked, smirking.

"You bet I am! Rex and I challenge you to a Duel!" Weevil declared, Rex facepalming at his boyfriend's stupidity, before muttering to himself that this is the love of his life and that he's trying his best.

"I accept your challenge. It'll be fun watching you suffer before you become part of the team." Ophelia said, chuckling. "But just to be a sport, I'll give both of you your decks, exact cards and everything, no strings attached." Ophelia added.

"Hmph! Big mistake, this only means I'll guarantee your defeat!" Weevil said.

"Heh, cute words for a little twerp. But I'm looking forward to seeing how you'll manage against my might!" Ophelia retorted. "Just, try not to beat us too hard." Rex whispered into Ophelia's ear. "So first—are you sure you wanna do this?"

"Hell yes."

"Cool, we're in agreement." Rex laughed, sitting beside Weevil. "Second—is this a good idea, Weevil?"

"Probably not," Weevil admitted, though he made no effort to move. "But I'm not well known for making the best decisions."

"Mmm, is making stupid decisions a guilty pleasure, then?"

"Guilty of attempted soul theft and regular theft, yes."

Rex barked a laugh at the response, Weevil grinning up at him. He quickly calmed himself before he continued looking at his deck. "It's probably at this point I should tell you that people weren't exactly lining up to play this game with me, or any game at all, let alone with my freakshow behind me, so I have no idea what I'm doing." Ophelia said.

Rex snorted, rolling his eyes. "I'm a former regional champion who has to keep his boyfriend from getting on so many watch lists it isn't even funny and I'm currently wondering if magic is real and alternate dimensions exist or not. Weevil and me don't exactly get this, either."

"Fantastic, none of us know what we're doing."

The duel had raged on, Weevil had clearly shown he was skilful and Rex was cunning, but Ophelia proved to be an equal match. However...

"Bam, Tyrant Dragon and Perfectly Ultimate Great Moth take the win." Rex said, smirking as Weevil laughed happily.

"Well, you seem capable enough to do it yourself, so, ciao." Ophelia said, preparing to teleport away, only for Weevil to stop her.

"Wait, you wanted me and Rex to win to put me in a good mood and do reverse psychology to make us want to join you. And to top it off, you used some sort of combo of Joey and Yugi's decks to make it seem as if we were superior and they just got lucky." Weevil realized. "Behind your hand of cards, the expression told me everything. Now you better tell the truth, why do you want us?"

"Okay, so we don't want you to join us, we NEED you to join us. That is why we are willing to give you anything you need for your assistance." Ophelia said.


Later...


"Not too shabby. Very vampire-like, gothic, creepy and lots of monsters-" Weevil muttered. "Hold on a second. There are real vampires, I saw real zombies on the way here, that bunny was walking and had a gun, and this is a real haunted castle. Why are we not freaking out right now?" Rex asked.

"Simple, when we spoke in your mind, I had Dr. Destiny ease your senses on these kinds of things to prevent you from freaking out." Ophelia said.

"Hm, makes as much sense as everything else around here." Weevil said. "Well nevertheless, with my brilliant mind and exquisite charm, and Rex's strength and cunning, I will no doubt be of great use to you."

"Just don't touch me, bug boy. You too, Dino boy." Princess said.

"No need to worry, I'm a committed lad." Weevil said, hugging Rex.

"Very good. And seeing as you took a whole day to convince Weevil and Rex, the stars had revealed two more with the marks." Horus said, revealing a brown haired boy with buck teeth dressed in a grayish-blue jacket, green shirt, grayish-blue pants and black loafers. "This boy represents the Air Element. His name is Montana Max. We've pinpointed his location at this manor, he seems to be the rich and stuck-up type, so he may be more difficult to convince. But he has had several experiences with non-human like creatures, so you may approach him normally."


Later...


"So, you're Montana Max, correct?" A ragdoll in a cloak, Ragor Mortis, said. "I'm Ragor Mortis. My master would like your services to help us make a better world. Naturally we'll give you anything you desire to help us."

"Heh, no thanks. You see this I'm napping on? Hint, this ain't laundry, so I can use this money to buy anything I desire." Montana Max said, in a surprisingly decent voice, as he stretched and laid deeply on bags of money. (AN: I prefer Yuri Lowenthal to voice this lad.)

"Money can't buy you everything you know, there are things that only my boss can get you." Ragor retorted.

"You stupid or something? Course money can buy everything, even whatever your dumb boss can get me." Montana snapped. "So, beat it before I call security, there's absolutely no way you can convince me to help your boss no matter what. So just give up." He said, only for his jaw to drop as he saw Ragor pull out two knives. "Yeah, screw it. You're joining, WHETHER YOU LIKE IT OR NOT!"


Later...


"Sheesh, this place is disgusting, do you ever clean it, or add some polish or something?" Max muttered.

"It's a dragon's castle. Unlike what pop culture tells you, dragons of all stripes are not into caves or abandoned castles." Ophelia said. "In any case, there's your other comrades, Weevil Underwood of the Life Element and Rex Raptor of the Fire Element, crafty as can be. Satsuuki Sakurae of the Magic Element, she's quite lost and confused, but she is a capable yakuza gangster. And Princess Morbucks, she's a spoiled brat like you too. Anyway, go and say hi to them or whatever, they're your team mates from here on out after all."

"Hm, I'm starting to think you're getting lazy with the negotiations. Nevertheless, here is the other Portal Master the stars revealed. Lucian Codworth of the Earth Element." Malzen said.

"Really?" Birch said.

"Yes, really." Malzen said. "This one is far stranger than the others so far, the stars had studied him for some time and revealed that he has absolutely no known records in any state, there's not a single person in the realms who shares the exact same DNA coding as him. He's a complete blank. But that's not all about him that's strange. He's somehow claimed ownership of one of the most expensive buildings in all of Diamond City. Something is not right with this one."


Later...


"Unreal, this is the biggest casino in Diamond City. It has at least four billion dollars and rising." Birch said, as she stumbled through the purveyors.

"So, it seems, hundreds of people go here every day, spend hundreds of dollars and leave with losses, only to come back hoping to make it big again. A building fueled by pure greed." Megafin said. "I like the Mammon appreciation."

"And there's the Portal Master and apparently the owner, Lucian Codworth." Kronos said, seeing a man dressed in a blue jacket, green shirt and black jeans with red slip ons, his face making him seem tough and willing to run fades with anyone. "That look of his is a good hint this will be difficult."

"Lucian Codworth...This is the biggest casino in Diamond City, and someone like yourself owns the entire place, you're not exactly looking like the type to run it. How did you even get this place?" The bunny with a tommy gun, Dead Foot, said.

"Heh? First one to ask this. If ya gotta know bunny boy, the owner hired me four years ago, and six months later, had an unfortunate accident and I inherited everything the old fart had." Lucian explained, his voice having a Brooklyn accent.

"Heh, and this "accident" sounds like foul play to me. Sounds to me your heart is as black as an eclipse in the night sky. Dare I say this casino suits you." Xone signed, her translator making her voice surprisingly melodious and with a hint of a British accent.

"It's also weird how no one suspects a thing. Care to explain?" Noxmar said.

"Heh! Gladly! I was just someone who did crazy shit back in my own world, but I got some pretty sweet dark powers from some Zauberbiest before he kicked the bucket." Pokey said.

"Wait? Did you say, 'Your own world?' Which means..." Atar said.

"Those eyes of yours ain't just for show. Yup, I came here from another dimension." Lucian revealed. "Gregory McLaughlin was his name. In my own world, he sought to control everything, he saw potential in me and made me his second in command, I had his charisma magic and I had half of Portland under my control just from his power alone. But to stop the Grimm who sought to destroy him, he sacrificed every last bit of his mind for power. Becoming an almighty dumbass. But in the end, they wiped him out completely, and I escaped using a somewhat functioning time machine. But it malfunctioned and sent me to another dimension instead, and disappeared without me, I've been stuck here ever since. No regrets though, this world is the shit. But enough about me, so what about you, you got a reason to be talking to me?" Lucian said.

"Yep, boss wants you to join his crew for a very important mission. Join him and you'll get anything and everything you want." Birch said.

"So ya want me to go follow another evil lord destined to die by a buncha idiots. Well so long as he's not stupid, I'll do it, but under one condition. You gotta prove you really want me in your team, so you gotta bring me three million in-house dollars in three days." Lucian said.

"Are you serious!? You're expecting us to try and win three million in that short amount of time!?" Lützow exclaimed. "Yup! No less, no more! And I'm not shifting for anything!" Lucian said. "Now run along, hey if you're lucky, you might get it in no time. Oh, and hey, when the fun stops. you should stop."

Lützow fumed, before ultimately storming off. "Boss man, can we PLEASE just threaten him with pain?" She growled.


"Not a chance, I told you it has to be a last resort, now just play his game for a bit. If it seems grim then I'll send in Erebus to try and win more money." Horus said.

"Sounds like this one's causing problems." Kiko said.

"Indeed, he wants Ophelia and her pals to win three million dollars in three days. Otherwise he won't join." Malzen said. "But... if he is indeed from another dimension, why was he picked to be the Portal Master of the Earth Element. A mistake perhaps... if the Portal doesn't work on him, then we might have to try and extract his magic and put it in another."

"Wait, you can just extract the magic out of them!? Why don't you do that instead, put all the magic into people who are more loyal than just some random kids?" Kiko asked.

"The process itself is incredibly risky and the Portal may detect the foul play and refuse to work. Besides, those with the power to change the world will require my guidance." Malzen said. "But I would not fret over this, we've already made promises to you and we do not intend to break them. Now, the colosseum will be ready in an hour, I suggest making your way there if you enjoy a good fight."


"Hmm... three million dollars in three days, we'd literally have to bet every last money and get all 7s consistently every time without losing even once. Obviously, those odds are extremely against us. In addition, according to the research, everyone who has come here has had net losses every single time for the past four years and this place gets hundreds if not thoughts of customers every year. No one has ever gotten a net gain." Xone realized.

"But they do win a lot, only to want more and end up losing. If I had to guess, Lucian seems to make them want to play more, and I bet my hat that everything is rigged to make them win a lot but fall when they've gained too much." Noxmar added. "Finally, Coddy said to bring him three million in house dollars, he never said win."

Noxmar looked at a vault, getting some ideas.


Later...


"There you go, you cheat. Three million in house dollars in thirty minutes. Fresh from your own personal vault." Margaret said, pushing the stack of money to him. "You said it yourself we had to bring you the money, you never said a thing about trying to win it. Now then, do we have a deal or not?"

Lucian chuckled at the sheer audacity these folk had, and pulled out a phone. "Charlotte. Cancel all my schedules, I'm going on a little business trip, not sure when I'll be back. And tell Frankie he's in charge till I get back."


Later...


"Heh, so there's eleven of us to do this huh? Shame I can't solo this, but if it's for the sake of a perfect world, then so be it, and hey, you guys get the honor of teaming up with a Wesen." Lucian bragged.

"I like this chap already." Baron Flambe, a hyena cyborg, said.

"Same." Montana said. "Dude's got guts."

"I don't understand what boss sees in him." Satsuuki added.

"You got something against him?" Montana asked.

"It's not that I hate him specifically. I just hate men in general. You're all crude, insensitive and only think with your dick. A bunch of unsightly monkeys." Satsuuki added, growling at the two.

"Soooooooo, you prefer girls instead?" Montana said, making Satsuuki blush deeply. "Even if you dig girls, that doesn't necessarily force you to hate men."

"Wait, wait, wait, hold on...Shut up!" Satsuuki snapped, her hands covering her face as she blushed. "Why did you assume I'm gay?! It is true that I dislike men in general, and that I admire Fumiko-sama...B-but I don't like her that way!"

"Heh, you especially, hot stuff. I bet you're welling up with excitement to be with me." Luciano said as he smiled at Baron Flambe, who blushed immediately, as Dead Foot, a rabbit dressed like the gangster, wrapped his arm around Flambe's head.

"So, you're planning to tap those fish cheeks, huh?" The rabbit said, as Flambe blushed even harder.


"The stars have revealed the Portal Master of the Water Element, Jack Spicer. And stop pouting. The sooner you get your job done. the sooner we can start our conquest." Malzen said. "Our main problem is that we have not uncovered his location, but the stars have revealed that a package is being delivered to him. We've set the portal, so you can intercept that package. Find that package and we can locate Jack's location, what you do otherwise is up to you, just ensure that whatever you have in mind isn't detrimental to recruiting him."


"Well... here it is..." Xone said. "A... puzzle box...? Looks old."

"Wait! I sense something." The living mass of blue ribbon with a theater mask stuck in tragedy yet sounded happy, Dangler, said, grabbing the box and humming a bit. "I see, so if anyone solves this puzzle and opens the box, this evil spirit will be set free, well we can't let that happen now, can we? And I know how to make sure Jack doesn't do just that."


Later...


"Master. A package for you has arrived." a JackBot said.

"Who's it from?" The pale redhead boy said.

"It just says 'friends you've never met'." The JackBot said.

"Odd. Alright, let's see it." Jack said, opening it to see a Traptanium Portal. "Okay, so what the heck is this?"

"A Traptanium Portal, Jack Spicer, and it's a pleasure to meet you." Dangler said, slithering out a portal.

"Yah! Who're you! Don't take another step or my Jack Bots will turn you into swiss cheese!" Jack said, pointing a crowbar at the ribbon mass.

"Calm down, we're the friends you've never met. And we have a proposition for you." Ophelia said.


Later...


"So, you wanna make the world a better place, and you'll give me anything to help you. The thing I want the most is to rule the world, how are you gonna give me that?" Jack asked.

"My master is a wise guy, I'm sure he'll find a compromise for both of you. And because of the increasing influx of super heroes, you will need our help, so what do you say?" The mishmash of vehicles, Vehicus, said, as Jack smirked and shook their hand. "Welp, you got a deal."


Later...


"I gotta say, this portal-magic stuff is pretty cool." Jack said. "Oh, trust me, we also know our way around technology too, magic just uses less resources, so to speak." Dead Foot said.

"Heh, well it might not be so bad here." Jack said, as Princess smirked at Jack. "So, you got your own lab and everything huh?"

"Yup, an army of loyal robots. several world ruling plans and even a juice bar." Jack said. "So how many of us are left?"

"There should be three left." Thorkell said. "In any case, you should greet the rest of us, Ophelia has some important business with the boss man."

"Sure, Ophelia, let him know we need to talk too." Jack said, before looking at everyone. "Alright, name's Jack Spicer, I like big machines, practising my evil monologues and not as a joke, I do actually like long walks on the beach."


"Ah yes, this must be Wuya. Legends say she is the most powerful being in the universe." Horus said.

"Heh, that's what they said about the Ilithids. And Luciano said that Gregory dude was the same." Ophelia snarked.

"Indeed. Truthfully, there's no such thing as the most powerful being in the universe. Power is worthless without knowledge." Malzen mused.

"So, are we gonna lock her away forever?" Ophelia said. "No, it's too dangerous, should anyone release her, we'll have problems." Horus said, gripping the box as royal purple, blood red and toxic green energy surged through his body. "It's for the best that I destroy her." He said, as he slowly but surely crushed the box, as raspy screams of anguish flooded the room, as the box exploded, dark magic flowing into Horus as Ophelia was sent flying. "Hm, Wuya's spirit, erased from existence. And her powers, fully extracted into me. Dare I say this expedition has been beneficial to both my goals and myself." He muttered, as he saw Ophelia imprinted on the wall. "Oh...sorry Ophelia." He said, as Ophelia dusted herself off.

"I-In any case, that power to extract magic from others, I certainly wouldn't mind that ability myself, please?" Ophelia asked.

"Ophelia... extracting magic is a very dangerous power for both you and who you target." Horus said. "Well, can I learn some new spells?" Ophelia asked. "I'm afraid not, your powers over dreams are already a very valuable ability for you. I don't even know how you acquired such feats in the first place."

"But master, I'm tired of using the same dream spells over and over again." Ophelia said. "I know, but until you can prove to be responsible enough with them, I cannot allow you to undergo such dangerous training. Now then, if there is nothing left to say, you are dismissed. The colosseum is almost done if you wish to catch the rest of it." Horus said, before looking through one of the crystals. "And as for you, Weevil, eavesdrop on my personal affairs again and I will be forced to take matters into my hands personally, and if you break the crystal ball, you'll have to help Kratus pay for a new one, or steal one."


Later...


"Thank you for coming, the stars have located two more Portal Masters. Darla Dimple of the Light Element...and Gaz Membrane of the Undead Element." Malzen said.

"Wait! THE Darla Dimple!?" Max asked. "Aw man! I was a huge fan of her back in her prime! I had all her songs, all her posters and so on!"

"Hmm, I see. Seeing as we are short on time and you seem to know this Darla well, perhaps I should send you in to recruit her, with Kronos, Birch, Megafin, Ink Blotch, Circe, Noxmar, Xone, Helpsie, Atar, Thorkell, Lützow, Calamity, Erebus, Zora, Yoomtah, Ophelia, Big Bertha, Finn, Dead Foot, Ragor, Dangler, Darking, Vehicus, Toxicobra, Mind Snap, Knick-Knock, and Killia as aids." Malzen said. "Now that just leaves Gaz Membrane. Perhaps Satsuuki, Spicer, Princess, Weevil, Rex, Lucian, Doll and Baron Flambe will suffice."

"Count us in, boss. We'll convince her to join us." Jack said.

"Agreed, besides, I've been getting sick of this dusty old castle and I need some fresh air." Princess said.

"And once we get Darla, we'll go and get Gaz too." Kronos added.

"Very well and thank you. Darla has been last spotted at the TCL Chinese Cinema, the stars reveal she's been working there for two years now." Malzen said. "And as for Gaz, she's locked away in her home, aside from going to school, she never seems to leave her house, so she'll be easy to find, but possibly difficult to recruit."


Later...


Once upon a time, in the grand auditorium of the TCL Chinese Theatre in Hollywood, this screen played movies. It still did, but there was a difference. Not so long ago, it once played an ever-expanding catalogue of films that starred one actress in the lead, the L.B. Mammoth studio cash cow. Once, people had flocked here to see the fictional antics of the scripted alter egos of one Darla Dimple, a young girl who was simply the picture of innocence.

That is, until it came out that she was not only racist against anthropomorphic animals, but also willing to destroy L.B. Mammoth property in order to sabotage them. (The latter had been considerably more important to the studio than the former.) Since then, nobody wanted to cast her ever again. She was cancelled in a time before it was called "cancelled." The bright side was that she was promised a way to reconnect with the grandeur of the Chinese Theatre, a way to keep paying off the extravagant mansion she enjoyed as the reaping of her film profits. She'd jumped at the opportunity.

Then, only after signing the contract, found out that they meant for her to be the theater janitor. She'd be close to the film industry, all right – picking up trash during the credits. Surely there had to be child labor laws against this, but Hollywood never had been fair to the youngest ones, and Darla had certainly used this to her advantage in the past, allowing everyone to treat her like an adult.

On one fine afternoon, she was cleaning up after a particularly messy audience. There was popcorn in every aisle, and someone had laughed so hard at a joke that they'd knocked a drink completely over into the adjacent empty seat, soaking it through with sugary liquid. At least she was wearing the ugly janitor's uniform, meaning none of her good clothes would be wrecked by the mess – but was it really worth it to look in the mirror and see herself in this abomination against fashion? At least she kept her hair neatly curled in large ringlets, maintaining what sense of glamour she could. "I built a little boat, as cute as it could be, and I put all the animals two by two...in my little boat on the sea." She sang.

The next showing wasn't for hours. Which was good, because she'd need hours to deal with this mess.

A sudden looming shadow overhead would've struck dread into the hearts of most, but this one belonged to Darla and was a source of comfort. "Max!" she snapped up at her personal assistant. "What took you so long?"

Max was perhaps the largest animal in all of Hollywood. Though he was a thoroughbred gorilla, he stood twice the height of any elephant. Though his footsteps shook the ground and it should've been obvious to hear him coming, especially since most doors weren't built for one of his stature, he still had a particular mysterious way of showing up wherever he wanted without making a sound of letting anyone see him enter unless he wanted them to. You see, if he wanted to make a scene, to really let someone know they were about to receive the wrath of Max, he would simply bust down the wall.

By all logic, Max could have broken free from Darla a long time ago. If he wished, he could kill her in one blow. But he didn't want to do that at all, even now that she was losing the fame they'd both ridden high on. He liked her. She was spunky, hard-headed, and a strange breed of friend to him. Yes, he had to cater to her every whim, but she still gave him a sense of purpose, of importance. He looked upon her fondly. (But not in the way a lot of the older men who worked in these pictures looked at her. They were the ones he wanted to kill, because he knew what they were thinking, and it took all his strength to hold back from avenging the violation of his little friend that hadn't even happened. Still he was able to knock a few of the perverts back into line just by breathing down their necks. And now? Well, their career was over, so maybe his criminal record didn't need to be spotless anymore.)

"Your popcorn, Miss Dimple." Max lowered an overflowing tray of popcorn, drinks, and theater candy on one palm. "The line was long."

"Thank youuuu!" Darla said sweetly. "I've been at this for fifteen minutes already, and I'd say I've earned a nice two-hour break. Be a dear and take over for me?" She held out the broom and dustpan.

He exchanged them for the popcorn. At his size and with his level of cleaning experience, he could probably have the auditorium spotless in five minutes anyway.

Darla swapped out the projector with a different reel, a retired film from her own repertoire. "Darladdin," a Middle-Eastern-inspired fairy tale loosely based on Aladdin, in which Darla herself played a young girl native to the desert. Her character discovered a magic lamp containing a genie and proceeded to go to town with wishes.

Maybe it wasn't the most culturally accurate picture in the world, what with its depiction of harem girls, its off-brand sitar soundtrack, and its primarily white cast, but Darla didn't care (neither do the people who watch this, this shit was somehow respectful of the history of Aladdin). She had given it some of her best acting work, and always loved revisiting just how cute she looked in this one.

Sitting back and digging into the tray of snacks, which she devoured heartily, Darla just enjoyed the movie, completely not doing what she was punched in to do on her shift. Yes, this was one of her masterpieces, but what wasn't? She lit up the room. The songs were saccharine and upbeat (though some were a bit metal, hey, she can do metal with the best of them, but she can't exactly pull off the scream), and her voice just sounded so perfect singing them.

Like most Darla Dimple films, this one had an obligatory scene in which Darla, instead of giving a villain just desserts, managed to charm them into redeeming just by batting her cute little eyes. A tussle with a dragon she accidentally freed ended with Darla delivering, in the most innocent voice possible, "You don't have to be jealous of me! I see now that you were only acting out because you were hurting! From now on, I will be your friend, and you'll never be lonely again!"

The reel hit a flaw. It skipped back a few seconds: "From now on, I will be your friend!"

Then again: "From now on, I will be your friend!"

"MAX!" Darla yelled. "FIX THIS!"

Then it rewound further: "I see now that you were only acting out – "

Wait. That hadn't been the actor who'd played the dragon. Nor was that the costume he was supposed to be wearing. That was someone completely else, dressed as a black crystalline dragon bedecked in gems of all colors, dressed in dark red robes and a black hood, his crimson red eyes somehow glowing underneath it (gotta admit, it does look suitably intimidating), the flesh that wasn't covered by crystals was mangled, and some of the flesh was missing, revealing the skeleton underneath (the right eye looked like it was falling out).

"From now on, I will be your friend!"

"WHO'S MESSING WITH MY MASTERPIECE?" Darla bellowed.

"Whatever! They like it big! They like it loud!" A voice sang on the screen. "Gonna make your momma proud! Make it Big! And... LOUD!! Isn't that what you would always sing to the new kids Darla Dimple?" It added.

The film froze, showing Darla extending her hand to the dragon. Then she realized what else was wrong with the frame: the extras in the background, wearing glitzy clothing in the style of what Hollywood thought a "harem" would dress like. As the rest of the scene held still, the extras looked up and out the screen, directly at Darla.

Darla shrieked. "Max. MAX? MAX MAX MAX – "

With a shimmer, the misfits stepped out of the screen and directly into the theater. Some were humans, others animals, odd toy-like monsters, and two in particular was what looked to be, to Darla's horror, human-animal hybrids, as though a human being had impregnated a squid, or a human got impregnated by a fish, the last three were a slim pegasus with long, claw-like nails, a pony had a blood-red zig zagged tattoo across his right side, and one was a living shadow that resembled a unicorn.

"We're just here to let you know that particular scene is going to be the most ironic of your career," Zora said with a grin.

Darla shrieked, jumped out of the chair (spilling all her snacks), and bolted for the exit.

In a shimmer of pink light, the theater doors slammed shut and locked. Darla whacked into them at top speed. Circe lowered her hand, rolling her eyes. "I knew this would freak her out."

"Oh, but wasn't it fun?" Xone signed, smirking.

"Hey, um, are these outfits…I mean…" Ink Blotch gestured up and down. "I'm pasty white."

"And we're villains," Noxmar reminded her. "We don't have to worry about our publicity here. Yet. Just enjoy the style."

"I think you look gorgeous in it!" Xone added, and Ink Blotch was definitely very pale, but upon hearing that, she gained a distinct shade of flustered pink.

Darla staggered away from the door, raising a hand to try and point at the intruders, though her vision was swimming, before shaking it off. "You…will regret messing with…"

Max's immense foot planted in front of the misfits. "Let her go," the gorilla growled, "or face consequences."

Just then, something kicked Max into a wall, as he dusted himself off and walked out, unharmed. As the perpetrator... a woman with red hair... glared, surprisingly enough, at the Shadow Hunters with an indescribable intensity...

"How dare you put your filthy hands on Satsuuki-chan!" The woman, in a surprisingly high-pitched voice, demanded, picking up Birch, who was blushing deeply. Just then, Satsuuki blocked her path.

"Satsuuki-chan, why are you protecting them?!" The woman asked, shocked to the core.

"What the fuck are you doing?! Malzen-san must've told you not to harm them!" Satsuuki said. "Why in the world did you try to kick him like that?!"

"And put a cork in it, banana breath!" The black and white ball in a maroon cloak, his hands cloaked in silver fire, Mind Snap, told Max. "We've been foretold to go here to help her get out of the janitor doldrums. That means you get to leave the valley of obscurity as well."

Max thought it over. "Carry on," he said, "but I will be watching." His lip curled. "Especially the red head."

"It's not my fault that you can't dodge for shit." The woman said.

"You're unharmed even after that? You're pretty resilient, aren't you?" Another woman, this time with teal hair and a melodious voice, said, standing next to Kronos. "Almost like a cockroach."

"You psycho! You can't go around suddenly kicking people like that!" Darla snapped.

"You're going to cry? It was just a little kick!" The redhead retorted.

"Yeah, one full of deadly intent!" Darla sniped.

"Satsuuki-chan, you and this group surely get along, don't you?" A brunette girl said, her voice at a higher pitch than the redhead, chirped.

"Seriously... the three of you... I just can't..." Satsuuki muttered. "That's right, you haven't met them yet, have you? As you can guess, the three of them are also affiliated to Fumiko-sama, and now by proxy, Malzen-san."

They saw that the redhead's glaring at Max with rage in her eye. "Hey, you three idiots! The gang wants to meet you!" Satsuuki said, dragging the three over to the Shadow Hunters, pointing at the teal haired girl. "Starting from left to right, first you have Hizumi. She's... resourceful...and also crazy and rotten to the core. Best not to trust a word she says."

"Yep, she looks like a trickster all right." Noxmar said.

"Yes~, I'm looking forward to having more interactions with you~." Hizumi said.

"Then in the middle you have Tsuyomi." Satsuuki said, pointing at the brunette. "She's a cheerful one. You never know what's in her head...Be careful around her..."

"I don't think any thoughts are behind those eyes." Kronos said, waving his head in front of her face.

"Please take care of us!" Tsuyomi said.

"And finally Setsuna." Satsuuki said, pointing to the redhead. "She's pretty athletic and a walking disaster."

"Well, she looks the part." Birch said, as Setsuna got a tick mark on her forehead like in an anime.

"Bah!" Setsuna barked.

"But...I've never heard anyone sing my own songs for seven long years. I thought I had been completely forgotten." Darla said.

"Not Montana here, turns out he still has your CDs and a poster back when he was younger." Dr. Destiny chuckled. "But... what happened? You were at the top of your game, and for seven years, you just. poofed, nothing. I thought you died or something." Montana said.

"What... What HAPPENED!?" Darla snapped. "OH, I'LL TELL YOU WHAT HAPPENED! IT WAS THAT FRICKIN ZINNIA RAMIREZ! I WAS THE STAR OF THE SHOW AND EVERYTHING! THEN THAT LIVING PURSE COMES ON IN AND TRIES TO STEAL MY SPOTLIGHT! I TRIED TO PROVE TO HER I WAS THE REAL STAR! BUT SHE SOMEHOW EXPOSED EVERY MISDEED I'VE EVER DONE! NOW THE MUSIC INDUSTRY WON'T EVEN LET ME BEG FOR MONEY AT THEIR DOORSTEP! AND WHAT HAPPENS NEXT!? SHE JUST WALKS AWAY, NOT EVEN CARING ABOUT THE FAME SHE GOT! SHE GOT RID OF ME AND LEFT THE CITY WITH NO HUGE STAR FOR THREE YEARS! OH, I JUST WANNA TEAR OUT HER ORGANS AND STRANGLE HER TO DEATH WITH THEM!"

"Erm, well, think of us as talent agents," Erebus went on, trying to pretend that outburst didn't happen. "We've been watching – "

"TALENT AGENTS?" Darla zoomed up toward Finn, putting on her most innocent face. "I mean…talent agents! You probably heard about my little...erm...mishap in Hollywood lately. I assure you, it was taken entirely out of context for the press! I'm the sweetest, kindest, most beautiful, most adorable–"

"Actually, we're looking at you BECAUSE of that incident," Big Bertha said, her voice surprisingly human, and in a southern accent. "We want the bad Darla."

"–ruthless, competitive, ambitious, MEAN-TO-THE-CORE actress you'll find in this city!" Darla laughed. "So! What's the role?"

"Guess those rumours about her being psychotic were true." Montana muttered.

"Okay, so picture this: a little girl helps a bunch of twisted folks take over the cosmos?" Lützow offered. "This little girl would be treated like a princess, since all of us are in league with royalty. She wouldn't have to hold her tongue anymore, everyone would know her name, she'd live in the lap of luxury, and most importantly, she'd have loyal fans, even on the days she was HORRID."

"I'm already a fan," Atar said. "We watched all your movies for research before we came here. You're good at playing innocent."

"I mean, they were all pretty schlocky in that old-timey way," Birch added, "but that's the charm, actually."

"I'm just hoping you really AREN'T like any of your characters in real life," Finn said, in a New Yorker accent, "or I'd have to feed you to Big Bertha, then figure out a way to keep the news from getting out."

"You make a compelling case," Darla said. "But what part of this is real life and what part's just the movie script?"

"Well, you see, it's not exactly a…film script," Kratus said, his voice surprisingly eloquent. "We're inviting you to do the real thing."

"Let's cut to the chase, we're working under a dragon sorcerer named Horus, Malzen works too, and he wants you to help him help his master make the omniverse a better place, in exchange, he'll give you anything. And that should include your fame and Zinnia's head on a pike. You interested?" Calamity explained.

Darla burst out into laughter. "A sorcerer dragon! That's a good one. You think I'm going to fall for that? LISTEN. To make it in this town at my age, you have to learn pretty quickly to tell truth from fiction, and you're not even trying! I didn't get where I am today by letting myself get pushed around. I had to fight off the advances of married men, see things NO ONE should see at my age, follow the most ridiculous and stringent rules imaginable, sabotage my peers so they couldn't possibly overtake me, and maintain perfection at any moment a camera was turned upon me! You think I'm going to just let some kidnappers come in here, sell me a fairy tale, and expect me to buy into it, only for me to end up one of history's greatest unsolved abductions? HA! THINK AGAIN!"

Quilla raised a hoof. "Before I argue that point. You said you had to follow ridiculous rules and deal with horny old men?"

"Yes," Darla snapped. "Weren't you paying attention?"

"And you had to fight competitors," Big Bertha went on. "Am I getting this right?"

"What's the point of this?" Darla growled.

"Well, we just think that sounds a lot like getting pushed around, if you ask me," Finn said with a shrug. "But what do we know? Some of us weren't in show biz. Go ahead and explain how you submitting to the system was taking things into your own hands."

Darla opened her mouth, ready to let off a monologue. Then, upon realizing Megafin was right, let her face fall.

"You could try and work your way back up through a system that's stacked against you," Finn told her. "Or you could do what I did. Cut through the red tape and just CHOW DOWN ON THE HUMANS WHO ANNOY YOU!"

Darla stared at him blankly. Then blinked. "What?"

"She doesn't have enough context for that metaphor to work," Megafin sighed.

"I'm saying break through!" Finn went on. "Show them all that YOU'RE the one running the show now! And to prove we've been honest about this offer and about very little else we've ever said to prospective subjects, we'll start here. We'll do something, you choose what, that helps you take power here in Hollywood. Right out in public, no underhanded moves, and you have access to all of our magical prowess. By the end of it, I think you'll see we're quite sincere."

"Also I'm really not sure you have a choice here," Ophelia added. "It's this or do janitor duty. Forever. Think about it."

"You say…anything I want?" Darla asked sweetly. "Any old thing?"

"Any old thing," Megafin told her.

Darla was already formulating ideas. "I do get to keep Max on my payroll in this deal, don't I?"

"Trust me," Killia chuckled. "Idiot sidekicks are part of the name of the game."

"Not an idiot," Max grumbled.

"I'm sure Max will fit right in quite nicely." Zone signed.

"Metaphorically, at least," Cassiopeia said, as she sized Max up. "Not sure about fitting into the actual castle itself."

Kronos shrugged. "Pretty sure Malzen can add bigger doors and vaulted ceilings. It's not a lair unless we keep redrafting it to fit our growing need for more luxurious space."

"And if I sign on with this…villainy," Darla asked, "Would I need to work with…" She sneered. "Animals?" A pointed glare went toward Killia.

"Hey, I'm not an animal!" Killia retorted. "I'm an Inkling, Toxicobra and Dead Foot are basically humans who got turned into toy monsters that happen to look like animals, Big Bertha and Finn are sentient, and Megafin's been mutated."

"And I'm not exactly a unicorn anymore. Well, not after my, let's call it tussel, with the Pretty People. Yes, I mean the Fair Folk." Erebus added. "I've learned NOT to spit in the face of Queen Mab after that one."

"The point stands," Darla said.

"Yes," Thorkell said. "You'd have to work with animals. Very soon, in fact, if all goes to plan. But you'll be fine. Noxmar here didn't like furries either until we settled him down. Now he puts up with it."

"And there'll be plenty of human company," Birch assured.

"Wait a minute," Calamity brought up. "You hate animals, but you want the big guy to come along? What's with that?"

Darla flinched. "Max is special," she said defensively. "He's not like other animals. He's my partner in show business."

Everyone looked up to Max, who confirmed: "Other animals are below me. I look down upon them."

"It's too easy," Xone signed, shaking her head. "The joke is too easy."

"But let's get down to your part of the deal," Darla said. "I want you to make my name big in Hollywood again. And given the nature of your offer, it can be in fame or in infamy, but I have to headline every newspaper, and I have to do it by doing what I do best: acting."

"Let me guess." Finn beamed. "You jury rigged the L.B. Mammoth building with bombs set to go off at noon, and planned to reveal yourself as the one who did it in revenge for them kicking you out. The reveal will be in which we'd all play significant roles, wear elaborate costumes, and receive accolades aplenty! Erm, let's just say, I set them off early, but the reveal you planned did happen."

"You were just waiting for her to suggest that," Big Bertha realized. "You walked in here and that's EXACTLY what you wanted. Can't blame you."

"Well, it's your lucky day, because that WAS exactly what I want," Darla said. "But, I guess I'll work with you."

"Done," Montana told her.

"Well then, what are we waiting for?" Darla crowed. "It's time for lights! Camera! ACTION!"

The lights in the theater flashed dramatically, as though lightning had struck. Max had crammed himself into the projector room to toggle them.

"Yeah, he'll work," Killia resolved.


Later...


"Ok, so my JackBots did a surveillance around the area. Their dad's barely home, no mother to be found, and the older brother Dib is constantly trying to prove the existence of aliens. Gaz has a very intimidating nature, so she is often left alone." Jack explained, as him, Princess, Ophelia, Toxicobra, Dead Foot, Ragor, Dangler, Darking, Vehicus, Mind Snap, Knick-Knock, Erebus, Doll, Baron Flambe, Darla, Max, Montana Max, Satsuuki, Setsuna, Hizumi, Tsuyomi, Megafin, Birch, Kronos, Calamity, Ink Blotch, Circe, Zora, Yoomtah, Killia, Erebus, Kratus, Cassiopeia, Quilla, Big Bertha and Finn sat on a rooftop. "To avoid detection, the best possible idea is to hack into the city's television system to produce Ads so great they'll send everyone to a specific location, then we fly onto the rooftop with some cloaking devices, climb through the east side window and-" A beam hit the plan and went through Erebus, who regenerated quickly, and Jack screamed like a little girl as they saw a green-skinned alien with antennas fighting a kid with black hair wearing glasses. "Or, while everyone's distracted by those two fighting, we just go in through the front door and turn off any security." Princess said.

"Uhh, that works too." Jack said.

"Also, you totally screamed like a little girl back there." Doll said, her voice modulator translating her Russian.

"Did not!"


Later...


"Well there she is..." Princess said, as they saw a kid in a black long-sleeve shirt with red trim, gray sleeves, pink stockings and black boots playing on a Game Slave.

"Man, she's giving off a murderous vibe..."

"Relax Princess. I am a PRO at negotiating with the most evilest of evils. Observe." Jack said, as he strutted up to Gaz, and coughed into his hand. "Gaz Membrane, I presume. That wicked glare you have tells me you are no other." Jack started. "I am Jack Spicer, super evil genius extraordinaire and all around professional mad scientist. I've come here representing the crystal dragon lord, Malzen, who has seen you as worthy to aid us in our goal of creating a new world order. But wait you might ask, what is in it for me you may ask? Well look no further than anything and everything you desire. money, fame, power, anything you want is yours, just for the price of your loyalty and...and...You haven't noticed my existence at all have you?" Gaz just kept staring at her Game Slave, leg crossed over the other, and leaned backwards in her bean bag. Jack tried everything, cymbals, taiko drum and even an alphorn, only for Gaz to punch him in the nuts, making Jack stumble over to a nearby hydro fan to soothe his balls. "Punched in the dick just for trying to get a girl's attention... Middle School all over again...so, got any ideas, Princess?"

"Just this, Jack. Now then...Gaz, you're going to listen well and good. You're going to serve Malzen in his mission, and you're not gonna refuse no matter what. Do you get it, you lil goth?" Princess said, using a snake mixed with a scepter to make Gaz stare at them, dazed and confused.

"Y-Yes..." Gaz murmured.

"Good, now go to sleep and don't wake up until I say so." Princess said, snapping her fingers as Gaz flopped into the bean bag, as Birch picked her up, and carried her.

"What the heck is that thing?" Jack asked.

"My latest invention, I call it the Manipulas Serpent. Able to make people bend to us through mind manipulation." Megafin said.

"So, we could've just used that instead of me trying to persuade her. Why didn't you tell me?" Jack said.

"I wanted to see you in action. Besides, you seemed dead set on your idea." Princess remarked.

"Teh, well whatever. Let's get outta here before anyone shows up." Jack sniped.

"Boy, two plans you overdid and could've been done easier. Seems like you were desperate for a woman's touch." Princess snarked.

"I'll admit my infiltration plan was a bit much, but my persuasion would've worked even if we didn't use that snake thing." Jack said.


Later...


When Gaz woke up, she immediately saw a young, fair-skinned girl, possessing short, dyed turquoise-blue hair, teal-green eyes, and freckles on her cheeks. Her eyebrows were colored in a dark brown/black. The girl wore a set of small, silver hoop-piercings placed on top of her ears and a black shirt with black jeggings, with her shirt being covered by a silver bomber jacket that featured light teal trim, a light teal collar, hot-pink trim on the zipper line, as well as pink "G" on the left side, and wore a pair of gray and white high-top sneakers, which has hot-pink velcro straps, as well as hot-pink and dark purple accents. "Ah yes, Gaz, say hello to Codi Gizmody, Portal Master of the Tech Element." Nadir said.

"Oh please, just call me Codi." Codi said, shaking Gaz' hand, making the goth blush because Codi looked pretty and triggered something in her little gay heart. "Also, may or may not have tried to destroy a town to build my own town over it."

"Erm, sure..." Gaz muttered, flustered by the girl's forwardness, as a round drone with small ears floated beside her, as Gaz stared at the others. "And what's the rest of those people?"

"Oh, we know who they are. Don't we?" Codi said, as the drone showed holographic images.

"Darla Dimple, Jack Spicer, Princess Morbucks, Weevil Underwood, Rex Raptor, Satsuuki Sakurae, Lucian Codworth and Montana Max." The drone said.

"Wait, that drone talks?!" Gaz said.

"I am Elly-Dee. Hello. Bonjour. Buenos días. Guten tag. Hujambo. 你好." Elly-Dee said.

"Welp, she knows every language. I'll admit, kinda helpful." Gaz said.

"Thanks! I invented her myself. Now then, why did Malzen bring us here?"

"I'm glad you all agreed to join our cause, like I said, we will give you whatever you desire for your cooperation, as my thanks for helping in creating a new world where those who prove themselves fit for the ranking move up, whereas those who don't, fall to the wayside. But now, we must discuss what you must do to help us." Horus said, as beside No-Soul appeared a man dressed in white armor and a black skin suit with red outlines resembling cubes and a purple cat man wearing a purple hood and black jeans, his paws have four digits furnished with sharp black claws, with red gas leaking from them. "In order for this new alliance to create the new world, we must extract all the magic from Skylands. To do so, you must obtain the ten Eternal Sources, the very essence of that world. However, there are two obstacles. A hunter named Sergei Kravinoff, yes, the very same hunter rogue of Peter Parker, who now seeks to take the Eternal Sources for himself, and the twelve other Portal Masters who seek them too." Nadir explained, creating images from the lights shining off his body and with some shadows, before creating eleven images resembling people. "The apparitions you see, are the other Portal Masters, who also represent your elements and seek the Eternal Sources for different reasons. They are in this case, rival Portal Masters. And as for the Portal Master of the Toxic element to be a rival to Powder Lane, also known as Jinx in her world, I'll show you him." What walked out beside them was definitely human: a boy on the older side of teenage, his soft pale hair gathered into a tiny ponytail and his skin almost worryingly just a few hues lighter than it. He was clothed in a white sweater and taupe pants, with a leather breastplate and knee pads indicating he'd been designed to function in battle. "I present to you the pinnacle of my creations," the man in white armor, Tenebrie, explained. "This boy, Simon Laurent, was officially deceased. However, with a perfect record of his memories, I was able to restore him perfectly, down to the last cell."

Simon seemed preoccupied with his right hand, which looked like a normal hand. And it seemed that was the problem. "Great," he huffed. "All that work for nothing."

"In Simon's realm," Tenebrie explained, "a sort of extradimensional train that tallied sins versus good deeds, physical bodies were marked by tallies of the evils they committed. Simon wore his misdeeds as a badge of honor – a flagrant disregard for the system of the train, which attempted to condition him otherwise. A perfect fit for our operation, I should say. And don't worry, Simon. I've taken your love of the tally into account. Go ahead and see for yourself."

Simon, who apparently still had a lot of pent-up rage from his life before replication, immediately grabbed a couple of bombs and a hammer off a table and hurled them through a portal Malzen made as hard as he could, as the hammer hit a robot and the bombs were flung into the crowd, causing mass panic and many people dying as some robot chased after a guy while yapping about the guy it was chasing being a threat to American civilization. (AN: Yep, in my story, Simon caused the ending of Tales From The Hood 2 and added some more kills to the count)

"Was that necessary?" Lucian asked. "Maybe add some knives, you know, have some variety, really go nuts."

Simon felt a twitch on his palm. A familiar, comforting sensation. He raised the hand to see a bright green "100000" etched on it in living light.

"YES!" His eyes lit up. "I've got my number back! Of course, it's nowhere near where it WAS…"

"In time," Tenebrie told him. "The tally system I worked into your epidermis will only count upward the things you do that could be categorized as…immoral. It will not count back down with any redemption. You may bask in the fruits of your labor. As an added bonus, should the numbers cover your entire skin and hit their maximum, they will then condense into scientific notation and take up considerably less space, leaving a lifetime of room to fill."

"And you WANT me to drive it up?" Simon beamed – then immediately looked at him confused. "Why should I do what you WANT me to do?"

"You will have certain orders," the cat man, CatNap told him. "But many of the decisions that decide your tally will belong solely to you. We're just encouraging you to let your spirit take flight. As for why you should obey what orders you do receive…I believe you initially had no qualms acting in the name of a Conductor, some Amelia Hughes nerd."

"She wasn't it," Simon insisted. "She was just a fake! Just like One One! The REAL Conductor is still on that train somewhere, waiting to rise to power!"

"So it seems," CatNap replied smoothly. Of course, he knew the truth. Simon had met his idol, found out that she wasn't as clear-cut or as approving of him as he'd thought, and gone immediately into denial. "Still and all, the creed of your band of brothers, the Apex, was to act in the Conductor's name. And as per that Conductor's beliefs, the train belonged to its riders. With the Apex dissolved, you belong to a new brotherhood: Deadlight. We are not so short-sighted as to say that some sort of extradimensional therapy train belongs to its riders. We believe that all worlds belong to us, and that we will create a new omniverse, whether people will honor what we did as true heroism or not. That they are ours to take as our birthright. To destroy as we see fit. More importantly, to claim power and dominion over. Will you not align yourself with an association that seeks to view all of existence the way you viewed the train? Especially since you seemingly have no Apex left to return to."

Simon thought it over. "I'll give you guys a trial run," he determined. "But that's the thing about doing what I want. I have the right to decide you're not for me."

"And as for the Abstract element," Malzen then got near a giant horn and blew into it, the dust swirling to summon forth a bird monster with four arms wearing a skull mask, tattered red and dark navy light clothing with bone parts worn as armor on the chest, knees, and back.

"Demon!" The bird monster said.

"skekMal." Malzen said.

"What is my prey?" skekMal asked.

"A warrior that wields dominion over all shadow." Malzen said.

"What?" skekMal asked.

"He is also a Portal Master." Malzen said, smirking, knowing he got skekMal right where he got him.

"You overestimate me!" skekMal shrieked, shocked that he somehow has to get to Skylands, which is no small feat.

"Perhaps some cloth will suffice." Malzen said, as skekMal sniffed some black cloth.

"I will take his shadow-weilding tongue!" skekMal yelled, already eager.


Later...


Once the X-Squad went to the docks and saw Sabrina, Fizzarolli and Ozzie, they smiled as Riff walked up to Sabrina.

"Greetings, Ms. Solomon. We may be considered your bodyguards." Riff said. "So, pray your mental health survives the journey."

[welcome to hell, mothafucka!]

[please check out the gift shop]

[it has toys]

As the RV left the docks into the open sea, somehow floating and surprisingly spacious, they've decided to pass the time with chatter while getting high of the meth.

"Person you killed or wanna kill who deserves it most," Ladd said. "Go."

"Oh, now I'm actually gonna be good at this game." The Rail Tracer smiled. "See, every one of my kills, they deserved it."

"I know," Ladd groaned. "You never shut up about that part."

"There was a particular enemy of the Gandors with even less redeemable about him than you," the Tracer explained. "When I caught up to him for the hit, he was by chance in the midst of rippin' off the skirt of this poor innocent gal who was screamin' for help. After what I did to the guy, you'd think the lady woulda thanked me, but I guess she was none too happy with the amount of blood I splattered on her while I was reducin' him to a pulp. And if that's too noble for ya, well, the guy was also skimmin' Gandor loot, so it was revenge that had to be taken."

"All right, I'll give ya that one," said Ladd. "See, I had wanted you to be the kill that most deserved it, since you managed to kill one of my men right under my nose."

"And I'm still proud of that," the Tracer said with a smirk.

"Ya should be!" Ladd said quite sincerely. "Look, I mighta been mad, but talent's talent. So I guess the prize woulda had to go to this fella who was tryin' to mug Lua in an alley. …Aw, fuck, that one's just as noble as yours."

"You're not so different," Chane signed, and the translator on her neck interpreted, her voice melodious and lightly smug. "I don't think we ever were. As for me, well, I killed a man who told me to smile."

Neo nodded, her own translator told a lot, in a spry and chipper voice. "Well, for me…I'm a killer by trade, and the one that did deserve it was that Curious Cat motherfucker that hijacked me, fed them to the Jabberwalkers."

"So, this girl and her posse were wearing socks with sandals, and also were bullying a good friend of mine by the name of Akemi Asobigokoro, and I wanted to show off some new styles I had in mind. Apparently, the teachers frown on my version of couture. Besides, the group was still responsive. Sure, they have some hemorrhaging and might not be considered legally sand, but a true model will do anything to try out some of my designs!" Drakus said.

"Well, add Ekko to the list." Jinx, Powder as she agreed to get called, said. "That man can go jump up his own ass and die for all I care, but I wanna make him break, really snap and go as crazy as me."

"That alternate version of me." Nefarious added. "What did he know about winning, anyway?"

"My asshole of a dad," Shimura contributed. "Let's just say when you're a young kid with a new Quirk... Accidents can happen."

"Some moron tried to kill me by cuttin' my brake lines," Graham said. "Made for a real show, what with me havin' to jump out the window and send the car straight into the river. So I paid him back by riggin' his engine to blow after twenty miles of drivin'. No one ever touched my brakes after."

"So kid, what's your name?" Ladd asked. "Sabrina Solomon." Sabrina said. "I noticed you were talking about people you killed earlier or desire to kill."

"Hey, you might wanna hold your noses! Cuz we're about to go through the smoky cloud shield and it will get kinda chokey." Ark said, having taken over the RV's controls.

"What!?!?! We're going to break through the cloud barrier!?" Sabrina exclaimed.

"Well, that's a yep." Fizz said, as he saw the clouds getting closer and closer. "Urgh... that's exceedingly intense." Sabrina said, hocking up phlegm a bit. "W-What!? Im... implausible! Is that... is that the sky!? It's astounding!" Sabrina exclaimed, her eyes shining like a child. "This... this is the sun isn't it? It's... it's so spectacular... so intense. I never imagined I would ever see the genuine blue sky. Several claimed it to be the most beautiful thing in existence."

"Yep, first impressions always land a mark." Drakus said. "Now, hold on to your lunch, cause we're going up!"

"Wait, what?!" Sabrina said, as the RV took off at impressive speeds. "THIS THING CAN FLY!?"


Later...


Once the squad saw a rather blocky tree, they docked, only for something surreal to climb onto the ship.

"You made a serious blunder docking here." A skeleton in doctor garb said, stepping onto the ship wielding a chainsaw that revved, loudly. "Prepare to breathe your last!"

"Erm, what?!" Jinx said.

"I am the great doctor-" The skeleton said, only to pause. "Eh? Can you hear me, this is terrifyingly loud! Seriously, how do I turn this thing off?!" The skeleton said, chucking the chainsaw into the nearest closet. "Anyways, before you stands-"

"Hi!" A creeper in a yellow dress and flower crown said, as the squad leapt back. "I'm Bubbles, and this little sweetheart's Doctor Bonehead!"

"That's Doctor Beinhode to you! It's Norwegian." Doctor Bonehead said.

"Are you okay? Can I get you anything?!" Bubbles said, only for another voice to interrupt. "Bubbles, what's going on?! Why's there an RV on our roof?!" A zombie dressed like a punk stormed out of the house.

"Wait! Before you try and eat our brains, which you might not be, considering you're possibly smart, hear us out! This ship might be connected to any stones that you might've picked up!" Drakus said, as Bonehead suddenly pulled out six rocks shaped like a wind up robot, a bomb, a seahorse dragon, a fish man, a miniature cyclops riding a rock and a dragon with crystal wings. "Well, I did think these weren't iron golem summoners. Bubbles, Stiffany, let's go!" Bonehead said, as he dragged Bubbles and the zombie, Stiffany, into the RV as a pink thing followed them onto it. "Well, guess Meep's coming too." Stiffany said, not wanting to deal with this.


Later...


The city of Townsville. A pleasant place to live. Unless you run into the Gangrene Gang, of course. These five green-skinned, disreputable-looking fellows prowl the streets looking for trouble. One is Lil' Arturo, a dwarf who looks as if he just jumped out of a Picasso painting; another is Big Billy, huge and fat, with a shock of orange hair covering the top half of his face. Yet another is Grubber, a bug-eyed hunchback with an enormous chin, ragged clothes, and a long tongue hanging out and, behind him was Snake, a skinny guy with a long, pointed nose and a cap turned backward. The one ringleader is Ace, tall and slim, with straight, greasy hair and a scraggly mustache. He wears sunglasses and a life-preserver jacket, And they were having fun, their way, at a playground. As Ace throws sand into the kid's face, causing him to cry. A girl on the swing set suddenly finds herself in Ace's hands. He pushes hard enough to wrap the swing's ropes around the top crossbar and tie her to it. A kid was playing with a toy airplane, only for Snake to give him an incredibly painful wedgie. He is hauled into the air, screaming and crying for mercy and getting none as the Gang laughed over this and the rest of the chaos they have caused.

"So, are we sure they're the ones?" A voice said.

"Yep, can feel the energy radiating off the skinny one with glasses." Another, more girly voice said.

"Is that the Powerpuff Girls?" Ace said, only to pull back in shock. "Snake! What are you doing to that poor child?!"

"But—but—you-s-s-said-" Snake stammered, as Ace punched him for trying to speak the truth. The tension was broken by Drakus, chuckling at the shenanigans as the RV stopped and he walked out.

[SHIT]

[THE GANGRENE LADS]

[PROTECT THESE SWEET BOIS]

"Oh, whoever you are," Ace said, kneeling, "please forgive my foolish friend for his foolish act. For he did not know what he was doin'. And I know deep inside my heart that he would never do anything like that ever again."

"Yeah, that ain't what we're here for, you have something, so come with us." Drakus said, dragging Ace into the RV and shaking him, revealing 2 rocks, one a dragon, the other a bat girl, as the other Gang members followed inside.

"It's still perplexing how an RV primed for cooking methamphetamines can take to the air like this, the outside world certainly has technology that is far superior than that on Mango Island." Sabrina said.

"You'd be surprised, but even Mojo Jojo can't get somethin' like this to fly, and he's studied a lot of technology. A thing this shoddy could never even get close to flying." Ace said.

"So this is new to you, huh? This outside world has many incomprehensibilities." Sabrina said.

"This is your captain speaking. We'll be arriving at the town of Saitama... in about ten minutes." Ark said.


Later...


In the city, people are walking around everywhere. But that's not where we're getting at.

In the city, lies a house. In that house, there's a girl sleeping in bed.

The alarm went off. The girl tried to get it, succeeded, and shut it off. She got out of bed, rubbing the sleep off her eyes.

She has long, shiny blue hair that reaches her calves, and she has a mouth that seems to look like a cat's mouth and sleepy green eyes. This is Konata Izumi.

She wore her green pajamas, and trudged to her closet and grabbed her winter school uniform to change.

After she got dressed, she went downstairs, seeing if anyone was awake. But there's no sound, no nothing.

She sighed. "Guess I'm on my own."

She walked out of the house, and trudged for minutes to get to the school building.

When she got there, she was greeted by her friends. She waved back at them.

One of the girls had long, messy light purple hair that ties into twin tails with purplish-brown ribbons. She has tsunami blue-violet eyes. This was Kagami Hiiragi.

The other one had shoulder-length light purple hair accessorized with a yellow headband that has a bow on top. She has droopy tame blue-violet eyes. This was Tsukasa Hiiragi, the sister of Kagami Hiiragi.

The last girl had long, wavy pink hair with purple eyes and glasses. This was Miyuki Takara.

"Morning." They all said.

"Morning, you guys. Waiting for me, I guess?" Konata said.

"You're almost late. I can't believe it." Kagami said.

"Well, look who's mad today." Konata said, chuckling.

"SHUT UP!" Kagami yelled, blushing deeply at her girlfriend's smugness.

"Since you're here, Konata, I was wanting to ask you." Miyuki said.

"What's that?"

"Have you seen the news recently?"

"About that abortion in Kyoto, yeah. Why?"

"I have a strange feeling...I don't think it's anything important, but I might be wrong."

Konata puts her hand on Miyuki's shoulder. "Relax. I'm sure everything will be okay."

Miyuki looked at Konata. "You're right. I think I'm a bit exhausted."

Tsukasa went up to Konata. "I think it was scary."

Konata looked at Tsukasa. "It's okay, everything will be fine. Don't worry."

Tsukasa nodded.


At lunchtime, Konata, Tsukasa, Kagami Miyuki were sitting around the cafeteria table.

"So, how much of that stuff are you putting on?" Konata asked, pointing at the ketchup.

"Who knows." Miyuki said.

"Put way too much of it on and you might have a stomachache." Konata suggested. "At least, that's what I heard. I might be wrong."

"There's some things that can and some things that can't. Something spicy will hit the spot." Miyuki lectured.

"Yeah. Been through that once. Never wanna do that again." Konata said.

"Same." Tsukasa and Kagami said.

Konata nodded and began to eat her chocolate cornet.

They had a nice lunch until someone announced something on the school radio.

"Whoever has two strange-looking rocks, please kindly head into the RV at the front, you have been invited, on a global tour beyond your dreams! A ghastly concoction of delight, horror, fantasy, and terror! Your every wish, our command, every whimsical desire, brought to life! But I'm warning you, there's, as ALWAYS with these, a price."

"What's going on here?" Konata asked.

"What the hell is this, some sorta joke?" Kagami said.

"Then again, it might not be." Konata pointed out, heading to the front door, with Tsukasa, Kagami and Miyuki following her.

"So, is this that RV that requires those invitational rocks?" Konata asked, dropping a unicorn dragon and a puffed up dragon.

"Yes it is, my lady." Snatcher said, helping her onto the ship.

[YEAH!]

[We gettin' lucky up in here]

"Hey, I'll admit, I like the look and feel of your little outfit. It kind of makes you look like an adorable little space dwarf." Kagami said, looking at Sabrina's dress.

"It is quite interesting that you have stated that. My dud used materials from a spacesuit to put together the majority of it." Sabrina said.

"I gotta say, your dad must be a great designer to have come up with something like this, and use that type of stuff." Kagami said.

"He is actually a scientist much like my mum." Sabrina said.


Later...


The X-Squad stopped in a fantasy world, and set a poster up to see who had two invitational rocks. The one that showed up was a girl in a classical witch attire, with a black cloak, red dress, dark boots, pointy hat, and magic staff, but with the added fact of bandages in her left leg instead of the thigh-high black socks on the right leg. Drakus idly noted her disheveled brownish black hair and the mild exhaustion in the crimson eye which wasn't covered by an eyepatch.

So obviously, he'd already mentally classified her as a loli witch.

"I am Megumin of the Crimson Demon Clan!" She swung back her cape dramatically and made a pose. "My calling is that of an Archwizard, one who controls explosion magic, the strongest of all offensive magic!"

"…excuse me?"

"Do you, too, desire my forbidden power, which is so almighty that I've been cast aside by the entire world?"

"...no. It can't be." The squad's eyes widened in shock and rising mortification. "You can't possibly exist in a real fantasy world!" Roman said.

"Indeed, I exist and I am here!" Megumin declared, misinterpreting the words. "Rejoice, for together, we shall-"

*GROWL*

With that, the clearly chuunibyou attitude faded away, leaving behind a clearly embarrassed and hungry girl.

[yep, that'll do it]

[all we need now is a useless goddess and a masochist paladin that can't hit for shit]

"That seems oddly specific, chat." Kagami remarked.

Mystle frowned. "When's the last time you ate?"

"I haven't eaten anything in three days." Megumin replied, instantly prompting Ridley to carry and place her into the RV, letting her eat the ice cream as she forked over two rocks. One resembled a griffin, the other a knight.

Giving a grateful smile, Megumin instantly attacked the food, her hunger very apparent as she didn't seem to choke at all from how fast she was eating.

"By the way, is something wrong with your eye?" Mystle looked at the eyepatch over her left eye. "Anubis can probably fix it up for you if you ask him, since healing is one of his best skills."

"Hmmph… this is a MAGIC ITEM to restrain my overwhelming power." Megumin theatrically revealed. "If you pull it off, a huge disaster will befall the world."

The squad gawked. Despite her chuuni attitude, this was still a fantasy world, which meant that Megumin was most likely right. "So, it's some kind of seal? Is it connected to some great monster or..." Konoha asked.

"Well, that's actually a lie." Megumin casually revealed. "I just wear it for the coolness."

"I see." Konoha casually replied, grabbing the eyepatch and pulling back to snap it against her totally normal left eye.

"I'm sorry! Please don't pull on it! Stop... Stop it! Actually, it'll hurt if you just let go, so please just slowly put it back where it was-"

"No."

*SNAP!*

"GYAAAAAA! My eye!"

"Sorry, I thought you were teasing us after we graciously gave you breakfast without asking anything in response." Konoha sighed, as she brought another carton of ice cream over. "We want to make one thing clear before we allow you into the group."

Megumin nodded, already stuffing her face again the moment the waitress placed her plate before her.

"You must sign away any sense of sanity and dignity, and any notion of this universe being the only one." Sunny Flare bluntly stated, enjoying her stunned look as she nearly spat out the contents of her mouth. "This group is basically swaggering murderers, chaos goblins, maniacs, and has only few what could be considered good folk. If you want to join, you'll have to be subjected to indulging in intrusive thoughts."

"Are you a scumbag?" Megumin bluntly asked.

"At least we're upfront about it." Drakus bluntly replied. "Even if you say no, I won't make you pay for the meal so you don't need to worry. What's your answer?"

"J-Just who the hell do you think I am?" Megumin put her fists against her hips. "I am Megumin the Archwizard! Antics of the carnal nature are of no importance to a mature woman such as I. In fact, it should be a daily routine to a powerful and dangerous woman such as I."


Later...


The X-Squad stopped in the middle of a warzone, where one of the soldiers just crashed into the RV as they drove far away

Scowling, the girl that crashed into the RV looked back at where she'd been resting, finally noticing the X-Squad, and Mystle tilted her head. "Well, who are you?"

Years of military training and the subsequent years of her identity being doubted – she didn't exactly look the part of a hardened war veteran, let alone a military officer – snapped into her mind, and Tanya quickly gave a salute. "Major-General Tanya Degurechaff, commander of the 203rd-"

Roman cut her off, tilting his head, an expression of shock coloring his face. "Wait, this world is using child soldiers?!"

"Yes, it does, but this one is the best of the best, I should know." Anubis said, appearing and grinning at Tanya. "I sent her here."

Tanya stopped her explanation abruptly, in pure shock.

The jackal man revealed himself as Being X, the one that literally sent her here for not believing he was as awesome as he said he would.

[well, cross that off the bucket list]

[Tanya, welcome to your new hell]

[better start praying]

"How…?" Tanya began to ask, eyes narrowed in suspicion, when the jackal cut her off with a negligent wave of her hand.

"I suppose you wouldn't know," he said, clearing his throat, "but I am Anubis, Egyptian Lord of the Dead." He supplied this fact simply while standing and walking to the nearby couch.

He paused, and Tanya had to fight to contain her palpable anger. So this was the one that claimed to be god?

In her first life, Tanya had loudly declared her disbelief in god. She hadn't thought that god would come down to lecture a middle class office worker on their lack of faith, and she had told that being, to his face, that he wasn't what he claimed to be.

She had spent every moment of the next few years regretting that decision. She had to grow up in a knockoff version of Germany and had to fight as a child soldier with magic and many, many bombs.

She wouldn't be repeating that mistake again, no thank you. She might have made some wonderful friends along the way, but she did not like having to play Being X's games.

No, instead, she'd see what Being X...Anubis had to say.

"So, I'm guessing you didn't know I truly sent you to this to try and see how well someone like you would survive, and from the looks of it, you did quite well." Anubis said, as he stared at the dragon rock that Tanya had in her pocket. "And it seems you have one of Eon's Skylanders. Pretty good, if I say so myself."

"So..." Tanya said, smirking. "If this is any kind of test, then I accept it, Being X, no, Anubis! DO YOU HEAR ME? WHATEVER YOU'RE PLANNING, I'LL WRENCH IT IN HALF AS REVENGE! YOU WILL SEE, ANYTHING YOU'RE PLANNING, I'LL SHOW YOU WHO'S THE BOSS HERE!" Tanya exclaimed, cackling maniacally as the RV drove out of the warzone into a portal.


Later...


"Is this it?" Mystle asks.

"No question... this is the entrance to the Virbank Gym." Burgundy said, as the squad entered, they found that there were only stairs and some posters, so they head down and found the gym guide standing at the doorway.

"This is a Pokémon Gym, and it's also a rock club! The Gym Leader and the others are practicing inside, but please feel free to challenge all of them! The Trainers in this Pokémon Gym all use Poison-type Pokémon! Grass and Bug-type attacks don't work well against Poison types, so be careful! Also, if your Pokémon are poisoned, their HP will keep decreasing. Watch out! And you should know that Poison-type Pokémon can't be poisoned, well, unless any of your 'mons have Corrosion as an ability."

And when they opened the door, they found the music loud. "Yeesh! This is louder than a Nevermore..." Roman said.

"What did you say?!?!?" Ruby yelled.

"So you're my next challenger?" A girl around medium height spotted them, the girl was slim with bright blue eyes, pale skin and long layered white hair tied in a high, spiky ponytail with a purple and blue cherry bobble. She wore a loose sky blue dress with magenta-purple stripes over a black vest top and long black boots with teal platforms, as Tanya realized that yep, this girl, this girl was basically Being X, erm, Anubis, but she got the feeling that this girl would be slightly more tolerable, and was very pretty and triggered something in her heart that basically made her realize one thing, she was gay as hell.

"I am." Daruizen stepped forward.

"How's it going, you're looking at the Virbank Gym Leader, Roxie." Roxie said.

"My name is Daruizen, of..." He said, pausing, not for dramatic effect, but because he couldn't exactly say Byogen Land. "Pallet Town." He said, as it was the only thing that came to mind.

[Daruizen, how do I put this?]

[ya ain't Ash, but well, you're prettier than him]

[dude's literally only been around for at least three years and some change, Ash was around for longer and is still ten years old!]

"That's in Kanto! It's also where I got my Koffing and Grimer." Roxie said. "You want to challenge me, then you'll have to battle my two bandmates first."

"Bandmates?" Roman was confused.

"Come on, we're one of the Unova's famous pop bands! Give it up for "Koffing and the Toxics!" The crowd was cheering and she continued, "Virbank Gym is not only a gym, but it is also a live concert stadium, we all jam here with great battles and tunes."

"Well, that's not going to bother us. I know how it feels to be in a band, just a few band members short right now." Monty said.

Then, Drakus, Neo, Taeko, Furina, Roman, Daruizen, Mystle, Monty, Lune, Monty, Kanade, Hibiki, Zap, Julie and Sora put on masks and started to play music, and Roxie smirked. "What do we have here, a new band! Now that's what I'm talking about!"

"What the... Drak formed a band as well?!" Ace said.

"This surely is beyond my expectations..." Megumin said.

The one playing the drums is Roughneck Nicky, and he growled. "Get in my way, and I'll knock you out! Stay out of my way... and I'll knock you out, too!"

While the music is going on, they also had gym trainer battles, and he used Whirlipede, Croagunk, Drapion, Grimer and Koffing, while Neo, Roman, Furina, Mystle and Lune used their new pokemon called Phantasmic (Roman's Woobat), Coney (Neo's Snom), Paragon (Furina's Palafin), Hooligan and Rascal (Mystle's Scovillian), and Donol (Lune's Ducklett), who all promptly jumped the poison pokemon with guns, shoes and bats, beating them into submission. "I'm the one who got knocked out! That was exhilarating!"

[ayo, where did the extra pokemon come from?]

[three of those aren't even available in the region!]

[monkaS]

[monkaS]

The next gym trainer is Billy Jo, the band's guitarist, and she chuckled. "I can always be straight, and honest with myself whenever I'm playing the guitar or having a Pokemon Battle!"

She used Skuntank, Dustox, Arbok, Qwilfish, Crobat, Venipede and Koffing, while Kanade, Hibiki, Zap, Julie, Daruizen and Monty used their new pokemon, Mingo (Monty's Flamigo), Parasite (Daruizen's Seviper), Metro Card (Kanade's Revavroom), NyQuil (Hibiki's Malamar), Fritzo (Zap's Piplup), Silent Bob and Jay (Julie's Oranguru and Passimian) and Julius (Sora's Scyther) to defeat them by dancing on their heads like Spanish dancers and break dancers. "Argh! The happy times always end so quickly!"

[five of those aren't even in this region yet, what the fuck?]

And that's when the Drakon Claws finished the song, and the crowd was hyped. Roxie smiled. "That was some cool moves you have there, it seems we really have ourselves some rivals. Now let's see how two bands face each other through this gym battle!"

"I'm here for my first badge and for something I'll disclose to Roxie personally after the fight, and a fair warning, I won't lose that easily." Drakus said.

"So you're thinking you can beat me." Roxie says, "Well, that doesn't mean you can just win my gym badge this easily."

"The harder the better." Drakus said, knowing he's basically signing a death warrant.

"Then how about this? Your Pokemon must be in the top shape. Bring it on, using any and all of your Pokemon!"

"All?" Kokone asked.

"And I'll use three of mine. That makes three against whatever you got!" Roxie says.

"But isn't that possibly unfair?" Ridley asked.

"Don't worry about me, it's my gym and my rules." Roxie said,. "Now...get ready! I'm gonna knock some sense outta ya!"

Roxie decided to send out Koffing as her first Pokemon, and the crowd is hyped. Drakus smirked. "That Koffing seems fast..."

"How does it move like that?" Neo asked.

"Well then, I'll show you what I have. Karkan! I choose you!"

The band rocks out before the battle begins as Drakus sends out his Archen, and the crowd chants his name. With Roxie's group playing the music, the Drakon Claws are also trying to do the rock music battle against them as well.

"Let's start with Sandstorm!" Drakus has Karkan go with the move to cause steady damage to Koffing. "Now then lass, let's see you make your play!" Karkan said in an Irish accent.

"You really think you can chill out Koffing's moves? Your strategy is clear fuse! Use Clear Smog!" The attack blew away the Sandstorm and dealt considerable damage to Karkan.

Drakus has Karkan use Ancient Power, but Koffing deflects with Gyro Ball and strikes Karkan for super-effective damage. "Aye! Where did that come from?!" Karkan said.

"Kid, where's that confidence? If you're not going to bring it then I'll do it!" Koffing uses Sludge Bomb and Karkan counters with Dragon Breath, Koffing follows up with a Gyro Ball, which Karkan attempts to defend against with Sandstorm, but Koffing breaks through and knocks Karkan out, only for Karkan to reveal a Glock 19 surgically implanted in his mouth to shoot Koffing with 16 blanks, taking Koffing down a couple notches, shocking the crowd with how off-road this round went.

[man literally ratio'd Koffing from the grave]

[damn, double disrespect]

[jail]

"Now, the chat says true entertainment." Drakus said, smirking.

Mystle frowned. "No good, Drakus has his first Pokemon down."

"But Koffing got less health, so it should be better." Roman said.

"Is my Koffing really strong to you?" Roxie taunted, only for Drakus to chuckle menacingly, slightly unnerving the crowd. "I like your style, it's the perfect way to win this."

The next Pokemon is a Golduck called Psychosis, and she smirked. "Think you can handle Koffing's speed?" Drakus said, as Psychosis chuckled. "Tell me who to hit, and that's what I'll do!" Psychosis said, in a voice stereotypical of a pimp.

Drakus had Psychosis start off with a pimp slap, which does considerable damage. Koffing proceeds to use Will-O-Wisp, but a cleverly executed fan from Psychosis sends the wisps back at Koffing for a lot of damage.

"I don't think Koffing is very happy about that." Daruizen said.

Psychosis used a cane to beat Koffing up, but Koffing easily dodges and follows up with Sludge Bomb. The smoke clears and it appears that Woobat has been poisoned. "Ay yo, this ain't how the game works, playa!" Psychosis said.

"Now for a little poison payoff." Roxie smiles.

"Yikes!" Taeko yells.

"Psychosis! Let's wrap this up!" Drakus said, as Koffing uses Clear Smog to ramp up the damage. Drakus wanted to consider a substitute, but Psychosis wanted to continue the battle.

"Good, then use a shotgun!" Drakus said, and it clashed with Koffing's Gyro Ball and was knocked back. Psychosis tried once more, but this clash rendered it unable to battle.

"What a hot air battle." Billy Jo says.

"But that Koffing came on top as usual." Nicky says.

"Looks like our challenger's having a bad day, you know." Roxie says.

William frowned. "Oi, Drakus. I think you need to change a song if we want to keep this up. It's obvious that you're struggling to beat her first Pokemon."

"You're right. A change of song means a change of strategy. Say hello, to Stuart!"

Much to everyone's shock, he sent out a Lotad. "Okay, what in the world is he even planning?" Sunny muttered.

"A Grass Type that puts you at a total disadvantage, desperate, are you?" Roxie asked. "Hey madam, what did you say about Drakus? I'll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Seals, and I've been involved in numerous secret raids on Team Aqua and Team Magma, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in guerilla warfare and I'm the top sniper in the entire corps. Your 'mons are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe them the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words, you better prepare for the storm. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You're gonna get fucking rocked, kid." The Lotad said, in a strangely American voice in an almost calm tone, creeping Roxie out, along with the whole stadium cause this Lotad basically said that he is trained in war and can and will bring judgement onto them.

"Let's start with Hammer of Dawn!" Drakus yelled, and the beam that crashed through the roof hit Koffing dead on, lowering its special attack.

[did...did the Lotad deadass pull a Gears of War weapon out of the game?]

[now this, this is some goddamn tomfoolery]

"That's all you've got? You're never going to beat Koffing." Roxie said, as she commands for a head-on attack with Gyro Ball, but Stuart ensnares it in a rope and swings it back.

"Now that's what I called the swing!" Mystle said. Koffing tried to use Sludge Bomb but missed when Stuart began swinging it around. Drakus has Stuart reel it in and finish with a slam to the ground, knocking it out of battle.

"You are awesome!" Drakus said, petting Stuart on the head.

"You rocked hard, Koffing. Winning with a bad matchup, I'm impressed. I can see you have the spirit to win, but so do we. So now it's time for us to turn our energy up to 11! Whirlipede! Let's go!"

Whirlipede was next, and Drakus decided to have Stuart back out and used his Samurott called the Whirlpool, and it has a type advantage over Whirlipede. He decided to go for a chainsaw as the first move, as Whirlpool grinned sadistically. "Unlike the Boulder of the Four Elements realm, the Whirlpool has no conflicted feelings over this technique and will crush you under the sea's ever-changing grip." Whirlpool said, in a voice resembling Kane of WWE fame.

[did the Samurott reference Avatar?!]

[matter of fact, did he mock the fucking Boulder?!]

[bold words]

[pretty sure the Boulder wouldn't take that shit lying down]

"So you want Samurott to cause damage but also raise the speed at the same time. I don't think so!" Whirlipede counters with Screech, and the sound waves end up being disruptive enough for Whirlpool's chainsaw to turn off. Whirlpool fires a Hydro Pump, but Whirlipede dodges again and poisons the Samurott with Toxic.

"Stay strong and use the Waterlog!" Drakus yelled, and the resulting puddle that the Whirlpool dragged Whirlipede into, and the resulting screams of agony and suffering shocked everyone as Whirlipede was spat out, its eyes swirling, signifying a knock out.

"He did it!" Roman said.

"Now that was a show that nobody will forget." Roxie said, confused and wondering what the hell happened in the puddle.

[did Whirlpool rape the Whirlipede?!]

[pretty sure he didn't]

[no one saw though]

[Special Victims Unit are in for a tough time prosecuting someone who could drown each and every one of them]

"Only one Pokemon left, let's see it." Lune said.

"I won't be so cocky if I were you. Look, your Samurott is not exactly having a party." Billy Jo pointed out and the squad knew that the poison effect meant trouble.

"Here! A present!" Just then, Roxie tossed Whirlpool a Pecha Berry, curing him of his poison. The squad and Whirlpool were confused, and she smiled. "It wouldn't be fun against a poisoned opponent when my third Pokemon's energy level is at 120% This is rock and roll! And you have to pay hard if you want to play hard."

"And we accept the challenge." Drakus said.

The crowd is now cheering louder as Aria gawked. "Do something, we can't let them outcheer us!"

"For my final Pokemon, I'm rocking this house tonight!" Then they started to overpower the squad with music, and she sent out the final Pokemon: A Grimer, as Drakus returned Whirlpool.

"I like how you think. Let's turn this up to 11!" Then, Drakus decided to go with his first ever pokemon, a Quaquaval called Judas. He ordered a kick, but Grimer dodged. "Very well, master, I shall see to it that the enemy's been defeated!" Judas said.

[oh Lord in heaven, he literally pulled a starter from a different region to fight in Unova]

[now this, this is true demon timing]

"So the cute Pokemon you brought all the way from Paldea is your first ever pokemon?"

"I may be adorable, but through Drakus' training, I have become the one who surpassed even gods." Judas said.

"Now that's the kind of gig I can get into big time!" Roxie said.

She orders another Rock Slide, but Judas countered with Aqua Step, canceling it out in a flurry of kicks and Spanish dance moves. Drakus ordered a Water Gun, but Grimer responded with Gunk Shot, launching a trash bag that meets Water Gun head-on. The trash bag bursts to release poison-coated garbage, striking Judas and poisoning him as well.

"It's been poisoned..." Mystle said.

"Let's end this, finish with Venoshock!" Grimer shoots out the green goop, which deals heavy damage to Judas, but shocking the whole crowd, he shrugged it off. "I've felt worse, boy." Judas retorted.

Roxie continued by ordering Mud Slap, but Drakus had Judas dodge the attack. "Now, use Quick Attack!" He yelled.

Judas rushed in for the kick, hitting Grimer in the face. Grimer tried to attack again, but Judas dodged and fired a Water Gun to knock Grimer over. "Second time's the charm."

"Now's our chance! Use Iron Tail!" Drakus yelled, but Roxie had Grimer dodge the attack and Judas landed on the ground hard.

"Okay, use Gunk Shot!" Judas is cornered by the flying exploding trash bags, and Roxie calls for Grimer to grab Judas and pin him to the ceiling before releasing, letting Judas plummet into a range of Body Slams and unable to counter.

The crowd cheered Roxie on as Drakus faltered, unable to think of a way out. Taeko grabbed Drakus by the shoulders and started shaking him. "Come on, you're not going to lose now!"

Then Grimer hits another Gunk Shot, poisoning Judas.

"Well, guess that's how it's going to end." Roxie said, smirking.

"You should know Judas is half Fighting-type which means your Grimer may hit Judas, but it won't have much effect!" Drakus explained, making Roxie stare at him, as if to say 'Wait, what?'.

Judas fires a Water Gun which Grimer takes. Roxie called for Venoshock. Grimer attacked, but Drakus ordered Judas to use Hydro Ball. Grimer's Venoshock was unable to stop Hydro Ball until the attack finally hit Grimer, knocking it out. "Now, rest for all time!" Judas yelled as he bowed.

[god damn!]

[the duck boy rotisserie chicken'd Grimer's ass!]

FlamingHot: [sick]

The squad cheered with the win, and Drakus also rushed towards Judas, who is still poisoned as he took a bow and promptly fainted. Roxie sighs, "What are you doing losing, Roxie?! Well…I guess that means you're strong! This stinks, but I gave it everything I had, and I feel revitalized and refreshed now!"

Then she gives Judas a Max Revive to eat, and that's also when the squad rushed to them. "You did it!" Roman said. "And somehow we didn't burn down half the stadium." The crowd was also cheering, and Roxie smiled. "Here! Proof that you beat me!" She said, as Drakus grabbed the Toxic Badge from her and she continued. "Your Pokémon WANTED this win! Keep on going on like this, and do all sorts of stuff!" She said. "And what did you want to ask?"

"Well, do you have any rocks that look strange, cause if so, you've been invited." Drakus explained, as Roxie took out a rock, one that resembled a dragon.


Later...


The X-Squad crashed onto an island, and stumbled in front of a door, as Roman knocked on it, until someone answered.

That something was…a woman with short, straight-cut blonde hair, grayish skin, doll-like eyes, a short, black evening gown, an orange feather boa wrapped around her neck, a stack of ten plates in her hands,…and various stitches across her body.

"Welcome," the woman greeted them in a somewhat deadpan tone.

"Huh?" the squad wondered, as without warning, the woman suddenly started throwing the plates at the squad, missing every shot.

"1, 2, 3, 4!" she counted as she tossed the plates. "5, 6, 7!"

"Aim a little bit to the left," Roman suggested.

"Why in heaven is she throwing plates at us?" Sabrina asked, confused.

BAM! SMASH! One plate hit Smasher on the back of his head, dealing no damage.

"And why is she aiming at me?" he asked.

"You are not allowed in the mansion," said the woman before she pointed at Sabrina and Zap. "You two may come in."

"Why us?" asked Sabrina and Zap in unison.

"But you must leave!" the woman exclaimed before she tossed two more plates at the squad. "8, 9!"

"Stop, Cindry!" cried a voice. "It's all right if there's some more folks! Let them in!"

"Who's that?" Smasher asked, as a shadowy figure appeared beside the woman.

"Forgive her behavior," said the figure. "This dashing woman has hated plates since she has tried to test the love of this wealthy man who was to be her fiancé, and she shattered ten of his most prized plates, but he rejected her. Whenever she sees them, she can't help but remember that...rather tragic memory. This is my maid, Cindry."

"Okay," Roman said, somewhat unsure.

As the figure came out of the shadows, he revealed himself to the trio. He was a man that had a rotund body shape with sharply thin limbs. He had a beak-like nose, and had pointed ears and teeth that appeared like long fangs, giving him a bit of a monstrous visage. His mouth looked like it was etched in a permanent grin. There was a scar going from one side of his mouth over his eyes, and to the other side. On the left side of his neck, there appeared to be a black tattoo consisting of two slashes that go down into two swirls found side-by-side on his shoulder, and he had slicked-back black hair.

His attire consisted of a fishnet vest, purple leather pants, a large dark tie, purple gloves, and a purple feathery cape. He also had a white surgical mask strapped under his chin. Over his eyes, a pair of rather tiny black sunglasses with gold frames.

"Ah, yes!" said the man. "I forgot to introduce myself! I am THE world famous Dr. Hogback, otherwise known as the Genius Surgeon. FOS-FOS-FOS-FOS-FOS!"

"10!" Cindry counted as she hurled one last plate at Kanade.

"I already told you they can come in, Cindry dear!" exclaimed Hogback.

"Perhaps it would be best if all the plates in the world would-" Cindry began before Hogback interrupted her.

"Yes, yes, I know!" said Hogback. "But I'm the middle of talking, here!"

"So, is this guy you were talking about?" Roman asked Drakus, who was laughing.

"That's him alright!" Drakus said. "Dr. Hogback…in the fucking flesh!"

"He's a bit of a moron, isn't he?" Neo asked.

"You're not wrong!" Drakus exclaimed. "But the man's a genius! He somehow found a way to troll life and death, and made zombies!"

"Very well," said Cindry before she opened the door. "You may come in. Welcome."

"I still don't understand why she was throwing the plates at us, though," Smasher said. "But I guess it's okay, now."

"Yeah, yeah, yeah! Let's go!" Drakus said, giddily.

"It is better than going back outside with all those creepy zombies," said Roman.

With that being said, the squad entered the mansion…leaving Dr. Hogback behind.

"Uh…um…" Hogback hummed, feeling somewhat ignored.


A moment later, the X-Squad and Hogback had entered the dining hall.

"FOS-FOS-FOS-FOS!" Hogback laughed. "So, you've decided to come here to my mansion! You three are quite filthy! Tell me, what brings you here?"

"Well, there's a lot to talk about, but first, Dr. Hogback," Roman explained, "while we were outside, we were ambushed by a hoard of zombies and just ran here!"

"Zombies, you say?" Hogback questioned.

"We also saw all these weird-looking critters!" Usopp added. "We couldn't believe our eyes! What kind of island is this place? You should know something about it after living here for so long, right?"

"Ambushed, eh?" Hogback questioned. "I see. You came here to seek shelter! That's fine! Just fine! To answer your question, good sir, I really don't know very much about those creatures you saw, but that is why I live here on this island!"

"I get it!" exclaimed Drakus. "You're here to add your data of the zombies to your research, right?"

"You're spot on!" Hogback said. "People hear zombies and they run off scared out of their minds! However, if you reiterate the word as "revived", that's a different story! Hasn't that always been the dream of man? Everyone in the world has lost someone who is precious to them! Meddling with the balance of life and death is considered a medical taboo, and that's why I, Dr. Hogback, had secretly gone into hiding from the rest of the world to study this island's inhabitants!"

"So that's what you've been doing!" Sabrina said, eyes sparkling. "If your research is complete, then the world will never have to worry about death again! Dr. Hogback, maybe I can help you."

"I thank you for that, young Dr. Solomon," said Hogback, gratefully.

Drakus handed Hogback a piece of paper.

"Say, can I have your autograph?" he asked.

"Certainly!" Hogback said.

"And then, perhaps I can take a look at your laboratory?" Even asked.

Suddenly, Even was suddenly face-to-face with Hogback, and the scientist was concerned.

"NO ONE is allowed in my laboratory except myself," Hogback said in a bit of a grisly voice.

"Okay then," Even said, as Cindry returned and set down some flan pudding in front of Hogback.

"Dessert is served," said Cindry.

"For God's sake, Cindry my dear!" Hogback exclaimed. "Can't you have the decency to put the dessert on a plate?"

"It would be best if all the world were rid of plates," Cindry said as she turned away.

"In any case," said Hogback. "The tablecloth has been strongly washed, so we can eat without any problems."

"Thank you," The squad said, began to slurp on the flan, as Snatcher ate some dairy-free flan.

"Oh, for God's sake!" Stocking shouted. "You could at least use spoons or something!"

"Ooh, caramel!" said Mystle. "Yummy!"

"Hey, Mr. Hogback," Snatcher asked. "Suppose you happen to see a weird skeleton guy in the forest?"

"A skeleton?" Hogback repeated, questioningly.

"Yeah," Zap answered. "Kind of tall, carries a cane around, has an afro, and abnormally cheerful."

"Well," Hogback began, "a skeleton that can walk and talk is very peculiar."

"Hmm," Roman said. "I guess you don't really know, after all."

"N-no!" Hogback answered, sounding a bit hesitant. "I don't know anything at all!"


Later, Hogback walked behind the trees. He appeared to be talking with the owner of the voice.

"What was all that racket in the bathroom, just now?" asked Hogback. "That was you, again, wasn't it?"

"All I'm looking for is a bride, and that blonde with the hi-tech mask is exactly what I need! I must have her!" A voice said, revealing itself to be a richly dressed man who wore an ankle-length coat that was cut like a parapet along the bottom, a white buttoned down shirt with two stylized crosses on it, basic blue slacks, a white belt with a chain, basic black boots with crisscrossing straps, long blonde hair, and, for some odd reason, the muzzle of a lion stitched on his face.

"You shall not!" Hogback scolded. "For all we know, that woman has a bounty on her head, just like her friends."

A girl leapt down from above, revealing herself. She was a girl with long, light pink hair done up in high pigtails with somewhat flower-shaped pins in them, as well as a red crown with a cross on top. She wore black-and-white striped stockings that covered her entire legs, a red miniskirt and red buckled boots to match. She had a large red umbrella that was designed to look like some sort of devil. Her eyes were rather big and thick with eyeliner, as well as red lipstick. appeared beside Hogback.

"There's also the fact that Gecko found that odd rock," the girl said. "Seems like a demon, and from what I've heard, that thing isn't anything I saw."

"Can you imagine how much it'll be worth, Perona?" asked the invisible speaker. "If the World Government hasn't found anything like this, then it's not your regular, run-of-the-mill pirate, eh?"

"In any case," said Hogback, "we must go after them! Absalom! It looks like you're up! Get those folk to Moria, now!"


As the X-Squad walked with the weird lion man calling himself Absalom, Dr. Hogback, the girl named Perona, Cindry, and the weird teddy bear called Kumacy, they all entered the dance hall, where they were greeted by a gargantuan man with very distinct devil-like features. He stood at least 22'7" in height. His general appearance and the collar of his shirt seemed to represent a type of lizard. His overall figure seemed to be like that of a giant leek. His hair was purple, and it stuck straight up, splitting in two and curving down near the top. He had two horns protruding from the sides of his forehead as well as stitches running down vertically from the top of his face to the base of neck, which was rather long and thick in comparison to his body. He had pointed ears and teeth, and his lower body appeared to be fat and stubby compared to his head. His skin was a pale blue, and his laps had a darker shade to them

He had pale blue arm bands, as well as a pair of gloves with claws at the finger tips. His coat was black like his gloves and his pants were bright orange with pale window shapes imprinted on them. He also had a fishnet shirt, a cravat, necklace, and a blue crucifix-like ornament with claw-like appendages sprouting out from three of the cross' points.

This man must've been the one running this whole thing: the Warlord of the Sea, Gecko Moria.

"You're all just in time," Moria said, picking his teeth with a toothpick. "Now, come and make me the King of the Pirates, immediately!"

"WHAT?"

The group looked over and saw Drakus, fuming.

"What do you mean your admittedly hot ass gonna be the King of the Pirates?" the dragon prince barked. "I'M THE MAN WHO'S GONNA BE THE KING OF THE PIRATES, YOU LEEK!"

"Such a feisty young boy!" said Hogback.

"So you are 'Dragon Fang' Drakus," said Moria. "You're a strange sort, you know that."

"Yep, you got a rock? If so, this whole place is coming with us." Drakus said, as Gecko realized that devil rock he found, and fished it out of his jacket.


Later...


Just outside of the coffee shop in Seinarushima, a girl with dark purple and dark red hair, with a pair of ahoge shaped like devil horns strolled across the street. She was wearing a blue hoodie with something wriggling around in the hood, purple shoes with buckles, and black stockings that reached all the way up to the dress around her body. The girl had bags in her eyes and she let out a yawn as she wandered through the streets.

"That's the last time I ever have a party like that when I'm going commuting..." She spoke through her yawn as she rubbed her eyes.

"Well, it's your own fault that you had to stay up so late with your friends, Taisho..." The thing in her hoodie now revealed itself to be a black ball of fur with golden eyes that had a black slit in each, almost like a lizard's eyes. It had stubby arms and legs that were covered in fur and a pair of horns poking out of its' head. "By the way, when we get back, we are SERIOUSLY going to be looking into getting something else to carry me in. The hoodie's not working for me."

"Hey, lay off, Lucifer. It's not my fault that it's so hard to find a good price on bags." The girl tried to snap back at the bundle of fluff in her hair, but her body was so drained that she could only slightly shift it. "Anyways, there's a coffee shop right here. We can..." —she yawned again— "...recharge here and get a plan in action..."

Taisho looked towards the coffee shop sign and saw that it read 'Moeru Pot'. All that she could think of was a coffee as she pushed through the door and started speaking. "Good morni..." Then, tiredness took over her and she fainted on the ground; much to the surprise of Drakus and the squad.

"Hey, you okay?" Mystle quickly rushed to Taisho's side and picked her up. "Get up!" Then, she heard the tired snoring of the girl as she opened and closed her mouth accordingly. "Oh... she's asleep."

"Geez... how bad of a night did she have?" Lune asked as she and the others took the slumbering Taisho over to another table as Drakus quickly went to get some freshly-made coffee. It was only when Roman put her in one of the booths that she heard the sound of muffled yelling from behind the hoodie's hood. She could also see that it was shuffling. "And what's behind her hoodie anyway?" He pulled back the hoodie only to find nothing there. "Huh..." He backed off of Taisho and turned to Drakus, unaware that Lucifer had hidden himself beneath the table, within the shadows, only for Absalom to pluck him out, as the former Demon King freaked out and flailed helplessly. "You got that coffee ready yet?"

"Almost! In the meantime, can you run upstairs and get me an apple and get her into the truck? She's gonna need it!" Drakus called, and before anyone could speak, Kanade was already speeding her way up as Ridley hauled Taisho into the RV.


When Taisho finally woke up, there was a whole mess of monsters and weirdos staring at her, along with an apple and a cup of coffee, and Lucifer and her were in an RV, and the dragon/dragonfly hybrid rock and the elf rock were on a table in said truck. "Mmm?" She spoke and tilted her head, making the devil-horn ahoge on her head move in kind. "Oh, is... is this for me? Thanks." She took the coffee and started to drink it. It had grown much colder than when it was first served, but the flavour was still there. As she drank it slowly, savouring the flavour as it ran down her gullet and into her belly. "What do I owe you?" She asked once she put the cup down.

"It's on the house." Drakus commented, tipping his hand forward. "Besides, you look like you need it. You couldn't even finish saying good morning and just blacked out once you came through the door, besides you looked like trash, kid."

[yikes!]

[the girl got cooked hard]

[well, guess we're getting DevilPog soon enough]

"You had a bad night's sleep?" Ruby asked.

"Kinda... yeah, that's exactly it." Taisho sunk into the upholstery as she took a bite out of the apple, then swallowed it. "But can ya blame me? My friends had a slumber party, and between Tetsu's arm-wrestling match, Okami's scary stories, me trying to coach Cynthia into trying to calm down when even I'm scared, and Tomo's usual arguments with herself, it was very hard for me to find sleep at all!" She felt her arms flopping down, feeling much heavier than usual. "Anyways... thanks again for the coffee and the apple. I'll try to get as much strength back as I can."

"What's ya name?" Kremy asked, blinking at the girl.

"Taisho. Taisho Jaakuna." She spoke, giving a nod to the squad. "I'm from Cleveland."

"Cleveland?" Yuina gasped. "That's a long way out... When did you arrive in Seinarushima?"

"Just about half-an-hour ago. See, I'm on this special mission and I've gotta do something important. I can't exactly give you the details, but this is a me thing." Taisho looked among the squad's faces, then took another swig of the coffee. She had already guzzled down two thirds of the drink by now.

"Oh, you poor thing..." Cindry came over and put her hand on Taisho's shoulder, making her look towards her with a faint gasp. "You must've worked yourself to the bone. Take my advice: Sleep. That's it. Just sleep."

"You say that, but if you only knew what we were dealing with..." Lucifer muttered from the shelf he was stored in besides the Twitch Chat Drone.

[welcome to hell, fuzzball]

[eat, drink and be merry!]

[get some strawberry ice cream]

[you'll need it DrakPog]

"Wha?" Lucifer asked, thoroughly confused.

"And what's with the goat?" Roman asked, as Lucifer's eyes widened at the sight of him as the crime lord reached over and grabbed him. "Hey... this is a pretty sweet pet. Where'd you get it?" He gave Lucifer a little squeeze, with the demonic figure squirming as his body was crushed in the palm of this guy's hand.

"H-hey! Be careful with him!" Taisho hastily snatched Lucifer out of Roman's hands, then widened her eyes. "S-sorry, sorry. But Lucifer's very important to me. I've had him since I started my second year in Jerome Horowitz Middle. Without him, I'd be screwed. In more ways than one..."

[GOAT]

[hi lucifer!]

[bless his majesty!]

"Now that we got everyone, you may want to buckle up...tightly..." Neo signed.

Roman giggled.

"It'll be fine once we get there. In fact, I have a special technique that'll make your head spin."

"What technique?" Taisho asked, "And please tell me you don't mean literally..."

"You might want to brace yourselves, and get some barf bags." Monty said, "Roman...learned all his driving from racing games...and he tends to go hyper when he's behind the wheel."

"Get ready to shift into overdrive!" Roman declared.

Gecko and Adam had long forgotten what it was like to scream in fear. Roman reminded the two on that day.


Soda Springs was having its annual Soda Fest. Everything was peaceful, coordinated and lively.

Or not… because as it kicked into high gear, escaped villains were causing a ruckus, again, especially one who gains power from soda like Gulper, but more deadly in how his power works and how he acts, a mabu-sized lamprey-like creature dressed like a biker called Soda Sucker.

"Give me the soda! I want that good shit!" Soda Sucker grabbed another batch and swallowed every last drop of the soda. When he finished, he got stronger than ever. He chuckled as he saw something and tossed the normally heavy barrel into the outskirts like it was a pebble, where an eagle man blasted it with his vacuum gun.

"Wonder where my fellow Skylanders are?" On cue, a flash of light was next to him, and two beings appeared. The Trap Master, Snap Shot, and the Skylander, Food Fight, along with the reformed villain, Sheep Creep.

"Croc and Roll!" Snap Shot said.

"Eat This!" Food Fight followed.

"I'm baaad!" Sheep Creep finished off, in a Hebrew accent, despite not having visited or even heard of Israel.

When the X-Squad woke up, the first thing they saw, was a very surreal sight. A black dragon with silver horns, as Sabrina backed up against the wall of the RV and Taisho was stumbling around, her skin was purple, her teeth were sharper and she grew a demon tail and two horns, and Gecko shrunk to around 6'5 and got noticably skinnier.

"Okay, now what?" Lucifer asked, staring at the dragon, who looked at him bamboozled. "What sorta Chompy are you?" The dragon asked, as Sabrina immediately ran up a tree. "This has to be an awful nightmare. I will unquestionably awaken in a short amount of time." Sabrina muttered. "Um, sorry, Sabrina. We were just so glad to finally meet our new master in person." The dragon said.

"Wait, what do you mean, master?" Ozzie asked.

"Yeah! Don't you recognise us?" The human said, her voice surprisingly melodious.

"You two do bear a strong resemblance to the unusual shaped rocks I found in the park." Sabrina said.

"Yep! The name's Spyro, Spyro the Dragon. And this here is Deja Vu." The dragon said.

[we in Skylands, bois!]

[Yeah! Woooooo!]

[welcome home, Zap]

"We have to thank you, young master, if it wasn't for you, we would still be teensy statues." Deja Vu said.

"Um, why do you insist on referring to me as your superior?" Sabrina said.

"Not only was it you who found us, but that thing around your neck is proof." Spyro said.

"The rock-thing on Sabrina's neck?" Mystle said.

"Yep. That's no ordinary rock, that's a Portal. You've been chosen to become the Portal Master of the Magic Element." Spyro said, as Sabrina mused on this as she slowly climbed down.

[well sabrina, did you pray today]

[if not, your ass is grass]

"Not right now, chat!" Neo signed.

"Um. You'll have to excuse me. I am having a difficult time in understanding what precisely is happening." Sabrina said.

"Ooh, Crikey!" Snap Shot said, as him and Spyro started stretching. "It was no fun being frozen, and I'm cold-blooded."

"Don't worry, we'll explain everything in full detail, lemme just show you where we are exactly." Spyro said.

"So... what exactly are you creatures referred to as?" Sabrina asked.

"We're a lot of different races. I'm a human and Spyro's a dragon." Deja Vu said, as Spyro carried Sabrina over to the edge on his back.

"Huh...what the...heck?" Sabrina asked.

"Look ahead Sabrina. Welcome to our home. Sabrina. This...is Skylands!" Spyro cheered.

"There are... islands afloat in the skies?" Sabrina asked.

"Yep, this is home." Sora said, smiling as Elle giggled as some leaves flew into her hair.

[Elle is home pog?]

[Elle is home pog!]

MistressofAllEvil: [Pog survived for this long? I knew, but still, holy fuck.]

[oh, right, waiting on the explanation for you]

"Sure are, and while we're made up of a ton of races. We also call ourselves...the Skylanders, the protectors of Skylands." Deja Vu added.

"Sabrina!? Is that you?" Taisho muttered, her head still dizzy.

"It's Taisho!" Sabrina said.

"Well, you're ok, Sabrina." Taisho said, as an elf in a ninja getup and a dragon with dragonfly wings appeared beside her.

"Huh? Who are those creatures following you? Are they Skylanders as well?" Sabrina said.

"Why yes, we are. I am Stealth Elf, an elf who specialises in the art of stealth." Stealth Elf said.

"I'd make a joke, but that'd be too easy." Neo signed, smirking.

"And I'm High Five! Need a ranged attacker? I'm your bug!" High Five said, smiling goofily.

"Stealth Elf and High Five? Do they refer to you as your superior as well?" Sabrina said.

"Yep." Taisho said. "They said I was the Portal Master of the Life Element...whatever that means."

"RUN! THERE'S A GRIFFIN!!!!!!" Megumin said, running for her life from a phoenix/dragon hybrid. "G-GET AWAY FROM ME!!"

"Kid, not a griffin, more of a phoenix/dragon crossbreed." The phoenix/dragon said.

"Oh, there you are! I was wondering where you fled to..." A knight of fire in blue armor said.

"Hey! It's Ignitor!" Spyro said.

"Come now, young lady. There is no need for such rash behavior. Although you are really quick on your feet for someone that small." Ignitor muttered.

"S-STAY BACK!!! I'm warning you! I'm a Crimson Demon, and I'm not afraid to blow you up!!" Megumin said, waving her staff defensively.

"Really now? Perhaps you're a more capable master than I thought." Ignitor said.

"Wait? Master? I'm your master?" Megumin said.

"Yes! You're our master! I'm so super glad to meet you!" The phoenix/dragon said, hugging Megumin.

"AGH! Get off! I'm on fire! I don't-Huh? Wait...? You're not hot at all... and... your breath smells like...food?" Megumin said, wondering why she ain't fried yet.

"Of course, Sunburn here never burns his friends. We're here to serve and protect you, Megumin, Portal Master of the Fire Element." Ignitor said.

"Portal Master?" Megumin muttered.

"We will have to explain everything once we figure out what's causing havoc in Soda Springs, I'm afraid." Ignitor said.

"Huh?"

Weiss simply cooed at Sunburn. "Aw! What an adorable little bird!" she said.

"Yeah, but we have way cuter Skylanders." Stealth Elf added.

"I'm cute too, you know," High Five said, as Sunburn got defensive around Megumin, as Jet-Vac shook Spyro's hand. "Well then, seems you're back again, Spyro!"

"You two are acquainted?" Roman asked. Jet-Vac noticed the squad. "Yes, we know each other from his academy days. I've also known about your tales. 'The Day Jergingha Fell' they told of your first mission, but I always pictured Drakus to be much...bigger."

Drakus shrugged as he laughed. "They all say that, but we can talk about war stories later. We need to get to the bottom of this attack."

Jet-Vac facepalmed. "Terribly sorry, we better get goin' and find out what's going on." He paused. "And Spyro, it's good to have you back."

Spyro smiled. "It's good to see you again as well, Jet-Vac."

Buzz cleared his throat, "Now, how's about we go investigate all of this ruckus?"

As the X-Squad stood with Snap Shot, Sheep Creep and Food Fight, Drakus had to ask one thing. "So, what's with the soda theft?"

"No need, mate. I already know what happened. That's Soda Leech off in the distance, yeah?" Snap Shot asked.

"Yes, but he's supposed to be locked up at Cloudcracker Prison with the other Night Hooligans. How did he get out?" Buzz questioned.

"One word, mate, Kraven. He blew up the prison, again, sending me and the other Trap Masters across dimensions. Luckily, some portal master found me and Food Fight here in a box, activated the portal, and we were able to get transported here." Snap Shot explained.

"Guess he's like Kaos, never gives up, does he?" Food Fight asked.

"Afraid not. It's up to us to save Skylands again. Let's get moving." Jet-Vac said.

"Woah! What is it?" Megumin said, as a bat-like monster flew at them, only for Sunburn to hit it with flames. "We've got guests..." Sunburn said, as a band of zombie-like Xenomorphs wearing outfits based on the suit Micheal Jackson wore in Smooth Criminal came dancing towards them like Jon Lajoie in 'Show Me Your Genitals'.

"Apexes! What are they doing here?" Spyro said. "Bah! Worst possible timing! Get the Portal Masters near Soda Leech to trap him! High Five, Pop Fizz and I shall deal with these untimely interlopers!" Ignitor said.

"Heh! I've been itching for a fight!" Deja Vu added.

"Alright, c'mon Taisho, we must go!" Stealth Elf said.

"Don't have to tell me twice! We're outta here!" Megumin said.

"Heh! Hold on tight Sabrina!" Spyro said, taking to the skies with Sabrina on his back as the squad shrugged and followed them.

"Excelsior!" Ignitor shouted.

"Here we go again!" Deja Vu yelled.

"Terminal velocity!" High Five screamed.

"It's lucky I still have my Traptanium Bow and arrows. Without em', we won't stand a chance against Soda Leech or any of the villains that escaped the Prison." Snap Shot said, as they ran towards the lamprey biker.

"Not much farther now!" Sunburn said, as a drow thought it was the perfect chance to jump them.

"Perfect! Hey Toots! Check this out!" The drow muttered, as he rushed at Stealth Elf.

"Greenie, watch out!" Roman said. Just as the drow reached them, the poor guy was sliced clean in half.

"What the!?" Snap Shot asked in shock.

"How did that happen?" Buzz asked.

"Look, up there!" Ridley said, staring up near a building. A shape jumped down and landed near the three. It was a girl with black hair flowing in the wind, wearing a black shirt and short skirt, red gloves and wielding a long katana.

"Wow! That was really cool! When did you get up there?" Taisho asked. "And who are you?"

"Akamei. And you don't have to thank me. I was only doing what I had to do." Akamei said.

"That sword…" Roman said. "Is that one of those Teigu things Snow Girl yapped about?"

Akamei looked at the thief in surprise, until her eyes hardened. "How do you know about the Teigu?"

"I'm friends with Esdeath and her group, and Snow Girl told me all about some sword called Masamune, said that it was possessed by Satan's very own hitman." Roman answered.

"I'm surprised you know about my Teigu, even when you're not from my planet." Akamei admitted.

"My guess is some portal master summoned you here because you fight for what's right when others don't believe you. In fact, you were the last one still kicking in that fiasco after Snow Girl took some guy named Tatsumi with her." Roman explained.

"They were all killed… and I was left." Akamei said.

"I want more soda!" Soda Leech shouted in the distance.

"Uh, I hate to break up the conversation, but we still have to deal with Ol' Soda Pants. We can talk later." Neo signed, as they heard maniacal laughter. "Was that a Danger Beast or...?" Akamei asked

"Nope! It's Bonehead!" Neo signed, rushing towards the skeleton doctor, who was currently using a chainsaw to cut down the enemies, as Bubbles used her speed to blow up countless times, knocking small green shapes with faces away as Stiffany pummeled them alongside a crystal dragon and miniature cyclops riding a rock, as well as a wind-up robot, a bomb, a seahorse dragon and a gillman using a harpoon gun as a Jersey Devil flew around the enemies, eating any it can fit in its mouth. One of the Apexes fired a net gun aimed at Fizzarolli, but Roman pushed him out of the way and grabbed his hand to escape from the rapid gunfire. Absalom spotted a nearby gun, grabbed and shot back. While Fizzarolli makes a run for it, two of the Apexes leapt in front of him to prevent him from escaping, causing him to run back where he came from. As a big blue star with a face approached him, he tossed a juggling stick, and blew an air horn. But he still gets caught, then throws a banana peel, but no one slips on it.

"Seriously?!" Fizz said.

"Just what the heck are those things?" Stiffany muttered.

"More!? Where are they even coming from!?" Gill Grunt said.

"I GOT IT!" Countdown said, tossing his head, which blew up, killing numerous Apexes. "Where am I? What are we doing again?" Countdown said, his head having regenerated.

"Seems we need to stop whoever broke the Night Hooligans out, won't we?" Flashwing said.

"Well, that happened." Rocky, the cyclops, said.

"Who are they?" Sabrina asked.

"They're Tech Skylanders, Wind-Up and Countdown. That's Echo and that's Gill Grunt, they're Water Skylanders. And the other two are Rocky Roll and Flashwing, they're Earth Skylanders! The last one's Jargeist, an Abstract Skylander!" Spyro explained.

"Are you sure we can trust them?" Taisho asked.

"Hey! Bonehead, Bubbles, Stiffany! Over here!" Mystle yelled.

"Huh?"

"Ah, Solomon, Jaakuna, Moria, Megumin! I see you're still alive!" Bonehead said.

"Sir Moria, I hope you keep me well fed, or at least, point me in the direction at the enemy." Jargeist said, his voice having a New Jersey accent.

"HONEY! WE'RE HOME!" High Five yelled.

"I told you to stop saying that.." Ignitor muttered.

"Boy, am I glad you're all ok. Now all we gotta do is find Tanya, Konata, Roxie and Ace!" Bubbles cheered, only for the squad to hear screams of pain. "OHH GOD! MAKE THE KID STOP!!!! WE CAN'T TAKE IT!!" They heard a drow scream as a slice was heard and intestines flew. "SOMEBODY! ANYBODY! SAVE ME! SHE'S STICKING IT THERE!!!!" Another drow screamed as they heard a flamethrower go up where the sun don't shine and burn him from the inside out. "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!! PLLEEASEEE!!!!" Another drow cried as a gunshot was heard. "OH GOD NO!!! WHY US?!?!?!?!" They heard yet another drow yell as they heard a chainsaw rev and cut the drow to bits as agonizing screams sang through the air. "I TOLD YOU WE SHOULDN'T HAVE TRIED TO KILL THE BLONDIE! OH GOD, NOT IN MY MUSIC MAKER!!!" They finally heard a drow scream as a Night Watchman 5 Million Volt Stun Gun was shoved up his ass and turned on, frying a drow's insides. "Hey, Tanya, maybe you can slow down and let us have some fun!" Konata said, as the squad saw a gruesome scene, millions of drows dead, butchered and tortured, as a Goliath Drow came up behind Ace.

"Huh, didn't know these things came in XL." Ace said, as the Goliath stared at him, smirking. "Your friends are strong! But you are very puny. Lights out!" The Goliath said, going for the kill shot.

Absalom raised his hand, but Perona got in his way.

"Don't worry about it, Absalom," said Perona. "He won't hit Green Shades that easily."

Perona threw her hands out, releasing many, many little ghosts and sending them at the Goliath.

"Paralyze HOLLOW!" she shouted.

The Goliath gasped, as one of the ghosts went right through him, causing him to fall to his knees.

"What," The Goliath began, confused, "What's happening? I feel numb. Why am I wondering if I'm not cut out to be dog food?" Then someone granted his request, as his arms were sliced by a bat girl garbed in red and black with a tornado where her legs should be, making the Goliath fall off the island as he plummeted to his death, scared as to what hit him.

Absalom felt shivers run down his spine.

"To have a man like that be shocked as to why he's not moving has got to be the cruelest thing, ever," he said.

"Wha..." Ace muttered.

"It is an honour to meet you at last, Portal Master of the Undead Element, I am Bat Spin, a proud vampire whose duty is to serve and protect you to the very end. My will is at your command at any time you desire." The vampire, Bat Spin, said as she bowed.

"ARGH!!! GET THEM!!!" A drow yelled as lightning fell down upon them, electrocuting them, as a purple dragon flew beside Ace.

"HMPH! Meddling boys like that need to be taught some manners, no one is gonna harm our master on my watch!"

"Huh? You're here to serve me too? Why? The heck does that mean?!" Ace yelled. "Yeah, pretty sure Ace can't exactly be a nice guy." Snake added, as Ace grabbed his mouth to try and keep him quiet.

"I thought the blue haired girl made it clear to you." Bat Spin said.

"You've been sent here to help our world, well let's just say we're here to help you help us. Make sense?" Cynder said.

"Yeah, but why me?" Ace asked. "I only wanna let my pals live a good life, nothing crazy like this..."

"I dunno, we didn't pick you, it just sorta happened. But hey, I'd rather help you than be a tiny rock again." Cynder said.

"CYNDER!!!" Spyro said as he rushed to Cynder.

"SPYRO!!!" Cynder said as she rushed to Spyro, both of them bonking their heads together as Sabrina was sent flying into Hana, who caught her. "Hey, you okay?" Hana asked.

"Oh man! Glad you're ok! And still fighting fit!" Spyro said.

"Of course! And you're still hitting hard! Guess being a rock didn't stiffen you!" Cynder joked.

"Um, do dragons always butt heads?" Neo signed.

"Oh, not always." Zap said. "It's like kissing."

"Spyro could've notified me that he was going to do that." Sabrina said.

"Just when I thought this day couldn't get any stranger." Roman said. "But hey, good for you Shadesy, you now have your new teammates too."

"I doubt Tanya needs hers." Mystle said.

"In any case. Tanya, is it? I don't know why a bunch of kids were picked to be the Portal Masters, but I don't care. I wanna see Kraven's demise through, and, as my Portal Master, I expect you to help me out. Do not disappoint me." Blackout, the dark dragon, said.

"Same as you, dragon." Tanya said, nodding.

"Arceus damn! The power! The intensity! The coolio awesomeness! I am Roxie Virbank! Wielder of Helios and the God of Destruction!" Roxie said, her bass now having white and yellow streaks, as she strummed it.

"Quite an interesting Portal Master." Spotlight, the white dragon, said.

"Yeesh, Fizz, you're really bad at fighting, you know that?" Drakus said.

"I'm a performer! I sing, I dance, I promote products that I don't actually use... I DON'T do danger!" Fizz said.

"HEY!" A female voice said. "I'm up here!" They saw a unicorn/dragon crossbreed up on a hill. "Come on, let's go!"

"Just how the hell do you expect us to!? It's not like we can just jump up!" Cindry said.

"Actually you can. The gravity in Skylands is much lower than that of Earth's." Spyro said.

"The gravity is... lower?" Sabrina said, jumping onto a nearby ledge, waving her hands to try and gain stability. "Alright you lot! Commence leaping! And be swift!"

"Heh, alright. C'mon guys, just pretend you're on the moon!" Satsuki said, as everyone jumped up onto ledges, climbing their way up.

As they traversed through the Soda Springs, they barely managed to see the giant slug on the other side of those mountains. They managed to destroy a gate and push the turtles as they were clearly blocking the way as they made a bridge across the cola river. The Skylanders found a radio that broadcasts to Troll Radio, the DJ spout nothing but nonsense so they ignored it. As they pushed more turtles out of the way, they came across a ram with black horns and silver wool, launching a hot dog stand at them.

"Oh snap, it's Ram Jam!" Snap Shot said, taking out his bow and arrow.

"Careful, kids. This may look like an ordinary, harmless ram, but I can personally assure you that Ram Jam's bad news. In fact, during the war, he was locked up for an ill-fated attempt at murdering Sheep Creep here for leading a rebellion that even he admits was doomed to fail, along with torturing various medics and journalists for information on where Sheep Creep was." Jet-Vac explained, as the ram didn't notice them.

"In other words, that ram is responsible for attempting to murder a redeemed sheep as well as murdering lots of innocent people?" Akamei asked.

"Wait, you're saying the ram's a war criminal?" Roman asked.

"Whoa, where did all of this kill talk come from?" Sheep Creep asked.

"Oh, sorry. Back home, I was living in the capital, and many evil people intended to kill others. Many innocent people were slaughtered under the moon, and others believed it was all in good fun. Which is why Night Raid was created, to end the existence of those who wish to kill the innocent." Akamei explained.

"I can vouch for that... mostly because she helped kill my family, myself included." Aria added. "Still don't wanna know who paid you to do that."

"Many things, wooly boy, that we might or might not need therapy for." Roman said.

Ram Jam heard all of that, and, realizing his cover's blown and no use for his innocent charade, whipped out two flamethrowers and bleated, as he grinned maniacally.

Ram Jam! (Life Element)

"Looks like he's looking for a fight." Snap Shot said, pulling an arrow out as Sheep Creep sprung out two cork shooters from his wool and twirled them as he bleated.

Before the squad could advance, Akamei held her arm out, stopping them.

"I'll handle this." She slowly unsheathed her weapon. "Anyone who is a killer, must be eliminated."

"Wait!" Snap Shot said, as she backed off. "Why kill them when you can trap em?"

"But Snap Shot, you do realize it's gonna be tough to do that without Traptanium crystals. The prison was made of the stuff, but now it's all gone." Food Fight said.

"You're forgetting something, mate. We were blown to earth, so the crystals were too. And all element-coordinated." Snap Shot said.

"Wait, so these Traptanium crystals are basically like Jordans!" Drakus said, as Snap Shot and Akamei looked at him like he said something dumb. "What? Oh don't give me that look, handbag boy. You too, Poison Kid. You know it's basically science."

"There's one!" A drow said as he ran for Sabrina, who pulled out some cherry bombs and aimed with a rubber band.

"Gear up... lock on...and shoot!" She said, slinging the cherry bombs into his face, which blew up, severing his head. "You will by no means capture me so long as I still breathe!" Sabrina declared, as spring boxing gloves appeared in her sleeves as she started swinging at Ram Jam.

Spyro took to the air and used his fireball attack on Ram Jam. His horns grew bigger and used his charge attack which sprouted a flaming Spyro head as it collided with the ram cyborg. The fight with Ram Jam was an easy fight to introduce the X-Squad into trapping certain enemies as the ram was encased in a dome.

"Life Trap, now!" Food Fight said.

As if someone was hearing him, a thump of energy occurred as a green vortex emerged, sucking Ram Jam into the vortex, as the evil ram landed inside as he bleated multiple times in shock, which made some of the chat that spoke sheep, including Sheep Creep, gasp in shock.

"Ram Jam! There are children present!" Sheep Creep said, shocked at how colorful Ram Jam got.

[ayo ram jam, don't say that shit on stream, you'll scare away the kids!]

RamAJam: [Hey! You try being locked in Traptanium again, see what happens, bitch!]

[whoa, that ram had a mouth the size of new hampshire]

"Throw me with the heavy weight of the demons that haunt your past." Frost snarked.

RamAJam: [MY past was haunted by crippling loneliness and imposter syndrome which drove me towards mass homicide!]

"Now to get Ram Jam back here. Check this out!" Food Fight said as the portal opened. Ram Jam's trap materialized, which seemed to be a green crystal with a hammer design. It slammed on the ground and the ram appeared.

"Well then, glad to see you turn your life around, Ram Jam." Jet-Vac said as the ram bellowed in happiness.

"Well, one bad guy taken care of." Snap Shot said.

Ram Jam turned to Aria, who glared at the ram, which seemed to freak him out.

"You're lucky you're on our side now, but I know a killer when I see one, and if you plan on crossing us, I will turn you into some lamb chops." She warned in a calm, but scary voice, as Akamei flinched at how calm Aria said it.

The ram's wool turned slightly grey. He nodded and bounced near Food Fight as he quickly typed a response into the chat.

RamAJam: [I'mma not cross y'all again, mostly because you're making me soil my wool.]

The squad, with Ram Jam in tow, used a bounce pad to jump up to a ledge, they jumped across as they pushed another stubborn turtle out of the way to make a runway to jump across a gap. As the duo used another bounce pad, they met up with Buzz as he spotted a translucent Crystal Shard surrounded by Apexes. Jet-Vac realized one thing.

"Wait a minute! That looks like...Traptanium! I haven't seen that magical stuff in a long time!"

"We've seen shards of this stuff all over Skylands. But it looks like not all of it was swept out." Jet-Vac noticed. "It might have something to do with you guys being here. As far as I know, this shard wasn't here before, it must've been floating around until you guys arrived."

Ridley looked at Snap Shot confused. "And that means?" Snap Shot held out his bow. "Time to mine out some Traptanium!"

The Trap Master and X-Squad jumped into the pit as they fought off the Apexes and began lashing away at the crystal shard as the weapons clashing with the shard caused a magical shudder that sent sparks into the shard. After a few hits, the shard split open as the shockwave caused the floor to collapse and the Trap Masters fell into the lower pit. But they found treasure in the crater as they opened a treasure chest and took its contents. They used a Bounce Pad to meet up with Buzz, who was standing next to an elemental gate made of Traptanium as well.

"It's been a long time since I've seen you fight, Spyro. But if you and the others want to stay ahead of the game, you need to check out these Elemental Gates."

Roman noticed something. "These gates look different." Jet-Vac tapped the gate, as it made a ding. "That's because it requires a Skylander of that same element to open these gates." He turned to Zap, and smirked. "This is a Water Gate, that means you have the power to open it. Once inside, you have access to a brand new area that contains a magical hat."

"Why would we want a hat?" Akamei asked.

Zap chuckled. "These are magical hats, they can make us stronger, and in any case, make us look snazzy." He walked into the gate as the X-Squad went inside as well, dealing with moving a turtle into an air current and jumping across to reach the hat. As soon as they left the gate (Aria was wearing a bowler hat that they found in a box), Jet-Vac pointed to a pink bounce pad, as a burst of light appeared and a new warrior appeared with a sword. It was a boy with brown hair, emerald eyes, a cream sweater, brown boots and blue jeans.

"Oooow. Dammit." The boy muttered in pain, rubbing his behind.

"Wait, you're supposed to be dead." Jet-Vac said.

"Huh?" He turned to the Skylanders, X-Squad and Akamei. "Wah! Huge talking anthro animals, literal ghosts from my past and fish!"

"Tatsumi?" Akamei asked with her eyes widened in shock, as Esdeath ran to hug the boy. "Jet-Vac is right…."

The boy turned to the black haired girl, and his eyes widened too, as he tried helplessly to pry out of Esdeath's grip as she smothered him in affection. "A... Akamei?"

"I saw you… after you died. You were frozen with Esdeath and shattered after defending against Shwartzentazer. How are you alive now?" She whispered, loud enough for the others to hear.

"I...I don't know." He answered, looking at his hand. "But I think a better question is, why are we here?"

"You were summoned. Summoning includes being alive, or coming back from the dead from your last known point of existence made whole. A portal master here, with his dying breath, summoned you, the girl, and two others back from the dead." Jet-Vac explained.

"So, who else?" Tatsumi asked.

"I'm guessing one's a redhead and the other's younger with pink hair, and going out on a limb, but Patchwork here might have to talk things out with Pink Girl." Roman said.

"That's Chelsea and Mine, but…" Tatsumi said before realizing who Roman's referring too, as Seryu casually waved. "No. Nonono! Somebody brought you back, and where's Koro!?"

"Let's just say, getting made into a Frankenstein monster by Even, Franz and Doctor Stylish does things no one with two brain cells would want." Seryu said, showing her dog ears and half of Koro's head off like a badge of honor, as they continued onward, meeting up with Jet-Vac at Sugar Free Landing.

"How did you get over here without the bounce pad thing?" Tatsumi asked.

"I had a head start. But we can talk more about that later." Jet-Vac said, pointing to Soda Leech. "That's Soda Sucker, and he was locked up in the Prison as well before its destruction. There is something really peculiar going on around here."

"Soda! I gots to have more soda!" Soda Sucker called out before grabbing a barrel and chugging it down, crushing the barrel with one hand. "See? That is why I like myself some soda! Now, say hi to my Doomlander! Brawler Class!"

Soda Sucker! (Water Element)

Just then, they heard a lilting chuckle. "Well well, you found my new friend. However, we'll make you meet your end."

"Oh no...not that dork again!" Jargeist groaned as a yellow alicorn in space armor leapt from one of the worms and took a bow.

"My name is X-L-7-Z, but everyone just calls me Rhymey. I'm very pleased to beat you fools, I'll certainly love when I get to steal dear Flashwing's jewels."

Rhymey! Brawler Class!

[oh Lord!]

[Drakus, please just make this quick!]

[we can't stand this annoying freak]

"Agreed." Drakus said, cringing at Rhymey.

"Stay away, you creep!" Flashwing said. as another laugh was heard. "Oh ho ho, now we have reinforcements!" Sunburn chuckled, as a man dressed like a Chompy and a giant slug leapt from a flying Chompy Worm and took a bow in front of the squad. "Greetings, little Portal Masters! It is I, the Chompy Mage, and my good friend, the Gulper!" He turned around to face Rhymey. 'And you are not a Chompy or a decent fellow! So I don't like you!" He then talked through his puppet. "Me neither!"

"Well you Chompy fool, I'll just have to make you into gruel!" Rhymey retorted. (AN: Listen, I'm also cringing at what I write for Rhymey too, so you're not alone, and let's just say Rhymey ain't gonna live past this chapter)

"And I don't like anyone who tries to foil Master Eon's chance to fix this place, I admire your tenacity but I'm ending this before you begin!" Chompy Mage said, as Rhymey tried to fire a yellow laser at the mage, who immediately put up a shield of green magic. "Now, let's send this outdated farm animal back to hell!"

Gulper looked around and noticed a few nearby soda barrels. "Gulper's gotta gulp!!!!" The Gulper said, as he drank from them, growing in size. "Go! Gulper and Chompy Mage will handle pony and goons! Take down Soda Sucker!"

"You understand the state of affairs, do you not? God's Speed you lot!" Sabrina said, as the squad ran for it.

"Hey! Get back, you must be! I hate those who run away from me!" Rhymey ranted.

"Well, I hate those who hurt my chums!" Chompy Mage said, decking Rhymey in the face.

"All of this over a beverage? This guy's got issues." Tatsumi said, feeling a sweatdrop.

"But if it's the soda he wants, then it's the soda he's NOT gonna get." Jax said. "So all we need to do is hop over to the rooftops and break some vats before Soda Leech can have 'em."

"Heh." Tatsumi smirked. "This will be a piece of cake. Akamei, ready to show this freak what the Night Raid is all about?"

"Sure thing. Just like old times, Tatsumi." Akamei smiled.

The Skylanders, X-Squad and Night Raid bounced over to the roof tops.

"Remember, we don't have to kill Soda Sucker. Just smash the soda barrels so he can't get any bigger." Snap Shot said to Akamei.

"Very well, but if he leaves us with no choice, then I won't hesitate to kill him."

"The problem is trying to shrink him down to trap him." Food Fight pointed out.

"Get to that later, there's the first vat."

"Okay.' Tatsumi pulled out his sword. "Time to show you guys, what I'm made of!" He stabbed the sword into the ground and light engulfed him. "INCURSIOOOO!"

The next thing anybody knew, A large species of a dragon appeared and roared, before engulfing the boy. When the light cleared, Tatsumi was clad in white armor with a helmet.

"Whoa!" Food Fight said in awe.

"That is the Demon Armor: Incursio. When worn, the user is covered in armor that enhances the wearer's capabilities." Jet-Vac explained.

"More soda!" Soda Sucker grabbed another barrel and was about to drink it.

"I don't think so!" Tatsumi charged in and slashed his fingers, making the leech scream in pain. He dropped the barrel and the soda blasted everywhere.

"GRRRRR! Where's that brat?!" He roared.

"Now!" Tanya said, as the twelve Portals on their necks swirled and made a light that sent the drows, gloinks and Hydra Worms flying as the Portals turned into watches. "Seems they have transformed into a completely different shape." Sabrina said. "Wow! Just like the old books said! The old Portals upgraded! I knew this but I didn't expect it to actually happen! I wonder just how far they'll evolve!" Spyro said.

"We need another Trap Master. Let's hope the Portal Master has more of us."

Whoever was watching them did, as a light smashed down and bounced off of Gulper's head and landed.

"Oh, Absalom," said a feminine voice. Absalom suddenly felt chills go down his spine. Turning around, he saw a huge, pink zombie warthog in a wedding gown.

"Marry me!" the warthog cried.

"GACK! LOLA!" Absalom screamed. "Get out of here, you swine!"

"Not until you marry me!" said Lola.

"For the millionth time, Lola," Absalom protested, as he smashed a sofa barrel. "I said NO! NEVER! I'm human, damn it, therefore I'll only marry a female human! You're a warthog! A ZOMBIE warthog! You're dead and you reek! Now how about giving us a little support?"

"Even better, I have an idea!" Lola said hopping over to another building with two soda vats.

"I see you've caught on." Jet-Vac said as the others landed near him. "These two vats have soda both in them. One was voted the best out of all the others in the festival and the other is a disgusting suction eel flavored brand. Giving him the eel flavor should shrink him down."

"Oh, I get it!" Tatsumi said giving Lola a hand. "Hey, you want the best soda!? Well, get a load of this!" He pointed at the eel barrel.

"SODA!" Soda Sucker called out taking the barrel and chugging it down, before sticking his tongue out in disgust. Once this happened, he saw his body beginning to become skinnier as he flopped down, his body limp.

"Alright! It worked!" Tatsumi cheered.

Soda Sucker, defeated!

"You think this will stop me?! I'll be back in no….time?" he groaned, before a vortex opened up in the sky. "Get back!" he called out, pointing his knife at it.

"Tatsumi, hold on to something!" Akamei called out as they grabbed onto the nearby building as Soda Sucker's knife flew right into the vortex.

"Oh crud!" he called out as he tried to crawl away. "Now hold a secoooooooooooond!" he cried before going into the vortex as it closed.

"Yeah!" Tatsumi said as a screen opened up, showing a sapphire blue jug trap on a portal device.

"What?! I'm not even mad, but could you get soda in here?" Soda Sucker's voice came from within the trap.

Soda Sucker, Trapped!

"So, I gotta be nice now? Kind of strange, but I'll get used to it." Soda Sucker said, tapping the crystal.

"Freaky. So that's Earth where we were summoned here to this world." Akamei said.

"And Chelsea and Mine came back from the dead with me here." Tatsumi said, shivering. "I hoped Seryu didn't have her Imperial Arms."

"So, what do we do with Rhymey here?" Graham said, as he ran straight for them.

"Don't worry, I know what to do." Chompy Mage said, smirking as he summoned a few Chompies that rushed to Rhymey, who desperately backed away as the Chompies rapidly ran up to both sides of him, and started gnawing on his arms and legs. All of the sudden, all of them covered Rhymey's body, and they started to take big bites out of his body, the Chompies were devouring him as he screamed and pleaded (still in rhyme) for help. It was only a matter of time before his screams and thrashing of agony would be forever silenced by the hungry Chompies. Eventually, all that would remain of Rhymey is a skeleton, picked clean of any flesh and organ, as the Chompies ate the bones too, as his soul was dragged out of existence and through a pair of black gates with a desolate graveyard on the other side by the souls of his victims as the gates slammed shut as Rhymey was dragged underground, effectively erasing Rhymey from existence.

"Erm, okay then." Jet Vac said as he walked behind them. "I still do not understand why we were chosen particularly for this task." Sabrina said.

"Yeah, we did find the Skylanders but we could've easily given them to real heroes." Taisho added.

"And some of us can't even fight." Konata specified.

"Sabrina has a point. There are several super heroes in our dimensions, why not pick them?" Ace said.

"Look! Over there!" she exclaimed. "A lovely human female!"

"What? Where?" Absalom asked, looking to where Lola was pointing.

Once he was distracted, the warthog put down a slip of paper. It was a registration slip for marriage. She then took Absalom's finger and painted in black ink. She then prepared to stamp his finger onto the paper, but once Absalom realized what she was about to do, he pulled his hand away.

"AH!" Absalom cried. "What's wrong with you? Trying to get me to sign that without my consent, first?"

"But Absalom," Lola said, "I love you! You and I belong together!" She started to try and make a grab for Absalom's hand. "NOW GIVE ME YOUR FINGER!"

"NO!" Absalom cried, running away. "I DON'T WANT TO MARRY YOU! I NEVER WILL!"

"Bridal Martial Arts!" Lola exclaimed, chasing Absalom. "KISS OF THE VOW!"

"No, you're right. We really didn't want to drag you here against your will, if our allies could've just taken us and settled this trouble ourselves, they would've." Jet Vac said. "And what's Seryu's 'Teigu'?"

"Magical Beast Transformation: Hekatonkheires. Her Teigu's basically alive. Calls it Koro for some reason." Akamei explained, as Seryu fumed. "I'm right here, you know! But trust me, Koro just fits me. It allows him to transform into something awesome, and when it goes to its trump card, that's where hell breaks loose." Seryu said.

"Not to mention all of that crazy weaponry she has." Tatsumi said as they teleported back. They were at the base of an Academy now, with Soda Leech in chains, the crystal locked on his neck, as some rocks in a clear crystal, activated a giant crystal in an odd structure in the middle of the front yard, which fires a beam of brilliant light through its various lenses and the odd crystal in the middle.

"Akamei, Tatsumi, X-Squad, let me be the first to welcome you, to Skylander Academy." Jet-Vac said. "But with the Soda Leech out, that could mean the rest of the Night Hooligans are out of-" He was interrupted by a purple skinned girl wearing a steam punk hat holding a gear staff as she spoke with a Southern accent.

"Cloudcracker Prison. And we all know that Cloudcracker is now gone when Kraven blew it all wide open!"

"And you are?" Lune asked.

"Mags is the name. Inventor of all the cool stuff here at Skylander Academy. As well as 87 million things. That's a number too. 87 million. Pleasure to meet you!" Mags said.

"Inventor girl's right." Soda Sucker said through the crystal. "Last thing I remember is that big explosion. I'm the only one not with the others right now."

"And who are they? You do know right?" Tatsumi asked.

"Oh, yeah. There's me, Sheep Mage, Doctor Mignon, Crystallon, Venomquake, Edvard, Aeron, and the big boss, Black Fang Vicky. We're the Night Hooligans, the biggest, baddest, and most ruthless outlaws there is! And we're gonna run all of Skylands soon!"

Akamei pointed her sword at the leech, making Soda Sucker jolt back. "Night Hooligans? You're responsible for killing and raping many innocent people."

"N-now hold on a second! W-we don't kill people, let alone do that, we got standards, ya know! Kraven just told us to capture anyone who had potential and send them to him, we don't even know what he does with them!" Soda Sucker blurted out, afraid of this girl.

"Akamei, be nice." said a voice as another came up.

"No way! You got here too?" Tatsumi said as he saw none other than Najenda, the leader of Night Raid.

"You know her? She came here not too long ago when we were opening." Mags said.

"You said the unknown Portal Master only summoned a few of us. Why the boss?" Akamei asked.

"I think it figured if some of this Night Raid group was reuniting, then someone who's a leader had to come too." Jet-Vac said.

"Well as weird as this is, she always has a plan for missions, and we've succeeded many times over. I can't be complaining." Tatsumi said.

"It is true, we need your help. And now that we finally have some breathing room, I'll be more than glad to explain everything, but I'll need to go into a few details beforehand."