AN: This is just for comedy and don't support some of the crap about ideologies, factions and whatever the fuck may appear in this. This is just a story about two other teams of Team Fortress 2 such as YLW and GRN since RED and BLU are the mains but no one ever have the other two involved in any or SFM but there are some exceptions in certain videos on YouTube. Since I don't have Gmod or 15 ai , I decided to write. (Plus I suck at making videos.) Lastly, this contains harmful political discussions. Reader discretion is advised. I condemn all violence and breeding ground for extremists. THE TF2 LORE DOES NOT APPLY HERE.


The Deal With Team TEL & Team PNK - Part 2

Picking up from last time, GRN Spy inserted the tape of TEL Team as the rest of his teammates are prepared for the worse.


The tape plays and shows TEL Scout and TEL Heavy in a locker room with Scout being pissed-off about what he is reading on his smartphone.

Scout: (pissed) "The fuck is this shit!?"

Heavy: (curious) "What? What's the problem, Scout?"

Scout: (still pissed) "People still want Donald Trump to be locked away and prevent him from winning the 2024 election!"

Heavy: (normal) "So? Donald Trump is a bad man."

Scout: (angry) "Fuck you! I totally support Trump yet I wouldn't mind having neo-nazis at office!"

Heavy: (disturbed) "The fuck?! You support those assholes?!"

Scout: (angry) "So what? America has become a nation of idiots and useless people. It is time to get this country on the right track! It is time to disband Team PNK and get them back home where they belong; in the kitchen. Fucking bitches."

Heavy: (angry) "That's fucking sexist! Women have just as much right as us men!"

Scout: (angry) "I say women should have no place in politics, war, and interfering with a man's business! They should never get to vote either! As a matter of fact, I would gladly support a fascist dictator in office!"

Heavy: (angry) "You are a backwards piece of shit, you neo-nazi scumbag!"

Scout: (angry) "I actually support fascism and patriarchy because I am sick and tired of this multi-gender confusion bullshit, the weak democratic system, the lies that we are being fed, the Jews, the Democratic Party, the Muslims, and everything that is making America weaker and weaker!"

Heavy: (angry) "Definitely neo-nazi! Why do you support such a terrible ideology!? Nazis have caused all sorts of problems in their elitism clubs that caused the holocaust, the suffering of those that weren't Nazis, the horrors of World War II, and a million other things that have caused a million other problems. They are not different than the Soviets, the various terrorists in the Middle-East, and are just as bad as the devil himself."

Scout: (pissed) "Oh yeah?! Then what the fuck is your ideology is, you fuckin' pussy?"

Heavy: (super offended) "WATCH YOUR GODDAMN MOUTH!" (normal tone) "I am a supporter of democracy. People should be allowed to say what is on their minds, decide the course of the country, and support free speech."

Scout: (cocky bastard) "What kind of democracy? In case you haven't noticed, there's a shit ton of them."

Heavy: (normal) "Moral democracy. The most peaceful one."

Scout: (angry) "That's fucking dumb! How are you gonna defend your nation or attack countries that harbor terrorists? There's a flaw there, like your stupid brain."

Heavy: (pissed-off) "FUCK YOU, YOU NAZI CUNT!"

Demoman shows up.

Demoman: (perplexed) "Aye! What's going on here?"

Scout: (snobby) "Get the fuck out of here, slave. You black people have no business in politics."

Demoman: (offended) "What the fuck, Scout!?"

Heavy: (angry) "Scout is a neo-nazi bitch that want to turn the United States into a fascist dictatorship, supports Donald Trump, and wants to be a fucking neoconservative asshole!"

Demoman: (disturbed) "The fuck?! That's cringe, man!"

Scout: (snobby) "Yeah, well, I prefer to have things back to the way they were! Women not being equal to men, black people being slaves, white supremacy, and didn't have all this shit we have now. America has gotten weak! It is time to go back and bring in the old glory days!"

Demoman: (upset) "Why the fuck do you want to go fucking backwards?! You are more messed up as the RED Engineer, the BLU Scout, and the RED Soldier if you combine them to make the worst American that has ever existed."

Heavy: (upset) "And this guy is completely out of touch with reality."

Scout: (angry) "Oh yeah?! Then what the fuck is your ideology, black slave?!"

Demoman: (super offended) "I AM NOT A SLAVE, YOU NEO-NAZI PIECE OF SHIT!" (calms down a little) "As for my ideology, I support the independence of Scotland and become a communist republic."

Heavy: (surprised) "WHAT THE HELL, DEMOMAN!? That's almost as awful as Scout here! You do know that communism is a failing ideology that is slowly killing the Chinese, right? Same with North Korea!"

Demoman: (calm) "Because; capitalism keep on making the rich rich and the poor people starve." (patriotic) "It is time to be collective and unite in order to ensure a better future!"

Heavy: (upset) "But communism doesn't support democracy! All it does is support a totalitarianism state where everyone has to live in fear and even turn on each other! Not to mention complete hypocrites! They say they support equality, freedom, and a utopia but all it ever does is have people forced to work in horrible work environments, women are still being seen as property, the LGBTQ+ are forced into either death camps or forced labor camps, and many other horrors that go against every human right. Just ask modern China, Joseph Stalin, and the entire Kim line. Fuck dictatorship!"

Scout: (upset) "Not to mention that there are so many goddamn branches of communism that it is hard to tell one from the other."

Heavy: (calm) "And I agree with him on that. See, I'm forced to agree with this neo-nazi, racist scumbag. There are so many kind of communism philosophies to the point where they are all blended together and people keep on mistaking one branch for another."

Scout: (calm) "And I'm forced to agree with the hypocrite pacifist here. Now that's fucked up!"

Heavy: (upset) "I know that being a mercenary is hypocritical to my ideas of a moral democracy, but still! You are a fucking racist, sexist, neo-nazi that needs to be put down like all white supremacists and neo-nazi shitheads that support that bastard Donald Trump!"

Scout: (upset) "Fuck you, I'm an American patriot!"

Demoman: (upset) "That's what all you Americans say, you fucking fascist! Communism is better!"

Heavy & Scout: (upset) "NO IT'S NOT!"

Soldier then shows up.

Soldier: (confused) "What's going on here? Is Scout's mother humiliating him again?"

Scout: (pissed) "Soldier. Tell me you support Donald Trump and making America great again by removing democracy and turning it into a fascist regime that remove rights of women and bring back black slavery."

Soldier: (offended) "Hell no!"

Heavy: (smiles) "At least someone has some sense."

Soldier: (patriotic) "I support a new world order. One where all of our old flags are purged and everyone stands united under one banner as we toss aside our petty differences and remove everything that divides us. Culture, languages, racism, individuality. I want to promote logic and rationality over the shitty spiritualism that is causing us to be further divided. Therefore, I support the Illuminati!"

Awkward silence followed for a few moments before anyone had something to say.

Scout: (perplexed) "Um, the Illuminati doesn't exist, dude."

Heavy: (concern) "Have you been talking to that conspiracy theory nutjob of the PNK Team?"

Demoman: (confused) "But isn't the Illuminati a rich man's club? Last I check, you're a mercenary."

Soldier: (grinning) "That's right! I've been saving enough money to be part of the Illuminati in order to survive. Best to join the winning side in order to stay alive. So, fuck America."

Scout: (offended) "Hey! America is a great country and we will make it great again under a fascist dictatorship under Trump."

Soldier: (mocks) "You really think that? HA! America is a weak and pathetic country like all the rest. Best to fall under a one world order than to fall under the control of a complete idiot. Like Donald Trump."

Heavy: (upset) "Great. We have a communist, a fascist and a fucking plutocrat. Am I the only one that has a decent ideology?"

Scout: (upset) "At least my country would be better than yours, big man. At least mine isn't losing 90% of its military to a smaller one."

Demoman: (normal) "Didn't the USA lose the 'War on Terror' against Afghanistan?"

Scout: (angry) "AMERICA NEVER LOSES A WAR! ESPECIALLY AGAINST THE FUCKING TERRORISTS!"

Soldier: (normal) "But they did. People became sick and tired of it after 20 long years with no results."

Heavy: (normal) "And ended with a draw with Canada in 1812. They also lost in several wars such as the Powder River Indian War, the Red Cloud's War, the Paiwan War, the Russian Civil War, the Second Samoan War, and the biggest failure of them all: the Vietnam War."

Scout: (super angry) "FUCK YOU! Once we get a proper leader in place and get rid of the horrible idea of democracy, we will invade all those countries and make them accept America supremacy! SO FUCK OFF!"

Engineer screams so loud that he scares the other four as they scream.

Demoman: (upset) "For the love of all that is holy, Engineer! Why did you scream like that?!"

Engineer: (pissed-off) "Because you idiots keep on yelling and I can't get any work done!"

Heavy: (apologetic) "Sorry, Engineer. We were having an argument about ideology and politics."

Engineer: (angry) "Is that all?! Political debates!? Do you guys want to get fired or something like what nearly happened to the RED and BLU Teams?!"

Demoman: (scared) "But we're doing it on our downtime. We can't get fired for having political debates on our downtime."

Engineer growls at his teammates.

Scout: (normal) "Hey, Engineer! Do you support Donald Trump, the return of black slavery, the invasion of countries out of revenge, and getting rid of democracy and install an American fascist dictatorship? You should since you're from Texas that was part of the Confederacy."

Engineer: (offended) "THE FUCK, SCOUT! I don't support that fucking traitor and everything you just said!"

Heavy: (upset) "Not to mention that he doesn't support women's rights."

Scout: (normal) "I'm just saying that women shouldn't have any fucking rights to begin with so we wouldn't have the gays, trans and those fucking liberals that keep on ruining our nation. Allowing women to vote is where we went wrong at first."

Engineer: (offended MORE) "EVERYTHING YOU JUST SAID WAS COMPLETELY UN-AMERICAN! Everyone has rights and democracy is the greatest thing in the world!"

Soldier: (smug) "Yeah, well, good luck with that when I join the Illuminati and destroy your democracy."

Engineer: (confused) "Has Soldier gone insane or something? The Illuminati don't fucking exist."

Soldier: (upset) "Yes they fucking do! Best to join the winning team before they officially take over the world!"

Demoman: (patriotic) "And I'm proud to say that I support the independence of Scotland under a communism leadership."

Engineer: (pissed-off) "Have all of you fucking lost it!? Communism is the worst fucking thing ever that violate human rights just as much as fascism! Do you have any idea how many terrible branches both sides have?"

Heavy: (exhausted) "Believe me, we know. Which is why I support moral democracy. True, I might be hypocritical about my ideology by being a mercenary, but I support it all the way as I believe in not participating in wars unless it is absolutely necessary."

Engineer: (happy) "Glad that someone has some sense."

Soldier: (angry) "Oh yeah?! Then what the fuck do you support?!"

Engineer: (patriotic) "To tell you the truth; I am a proud member of the Constitution Party of the USA."

Scout: (offended) "Are you fucking kidding me?! Those religious clowns!?"

Demoman: (upset) "Those guys are terrible!"

Soldier: (upset) "You religious retard!"

Heavy: (facepalms) "You just lost all of my respect in that one sentence."

Engineer: (patriotic) "Now listen here! God made us stewards of the world and the bible says that we should reap all the natural resources that we want as the Earth is our domain. Global warming is a myth that globalists conspire against our nation controlling the energy supply of the world. Social security should be phased out as it goes against the constitution, homosexuals and transexuals are sexual deviants that go everything against the lord and his divine plan, pornography and hentai should be abolished from our country as it also encourage sexual deviancy, and I believe that the US constitution is established under the rule of god and not a democracy. Democracy should be done by electoral colleges, not popular vote."

Scout: (upset) "Fuck you, you religious faggot! Even though there is some stuff I do support, but democracy is for losers."

Engineer: (middle-finger) "Go fuck yourself, you whore of Trump!"

Scout: (angrily middle-fingers) "How about you, you mother fucker!?"

Demoman: (smiles) "Which is why I support communism because of shit like this."

Engineer: (offended) "Communism goes everything that god stands for! You are literally going to hell for denying his existence!"

Soldier: (middle-fingers) "Fuck religion! It is completely irrational!"

Heavy: (facepalms) "How can this get any worse?"

Pyro shows up.

Pyro: (perplexed) "What's going on here? Are we having a fuckfest or something?"

Demoman: (normal) "No, Pyro. We were talking about politics and ideologies."

Pyro: (excited) "Oh! I want to join in. As for me, I'm a satanist!"

Everyone is shocked to hear what Pyro just said.

Pyro: (confused) "What?"

Heavy: (facepalms...again) "I had to open my fucking mouth."

Scout: (pissed) "ARE YOU FUCKING SERIOUS?!"

Engineer: (offended) "You are an insult to the lord and everything that he stands for!"

Demoman: (angry) "That's way worse than Christianity! Why the fuck would you support the devil when he is the ultimate evil!?"

Soldier: (upset) "Oh, so the anti-religious, communist Scotsman decides to be religious all of a sudden."

Demoman: (angry) "Stay the fuck out of it, you Illuminati bastard!"

Pyro: (normal) "To tell you the truth is because I want all sorts of things. Money, power, magic, immortality, bitches. It is worth losing my soul over getting a good life. Although, I have been trying to contact the other side for a while and still no answer. I have been bringing in the bodies of our enemies as sacrifices. Heart, liver, heads. I've been doing it for a while and still nothing."

Scout: (disturbed) "That is seriously fucked up!"

Pyro: (angry) "Fuck off! I heard about you fascist and communists and plutocratic bastards! Mock my religion again, I'll have you as my next offerings! And didn't American Dad released an episode about accepting others no matter their faith? Dope and Faith I believe it was called. Brett Morris after Stan did some shit to him."

Heavy: (monotone) "Despite his beliefs, he does have a good point."

Scout: (pissed) "Nah-huh! Not until everyone on this fucking planet believes that America is the greatest country there is under the right ruler! Fuck democracy, fuck non-Americans, fuck the black slaves, fuck China, fuck the Illuminati, and fuck all of you!"

Demoman: (threatening) "Call me a slave again, lad! I double dog dear ya!"

Engineer: (patriotic) "America would be better under religious values, not political! So fuck your neo-nazi pride! And fuck your communism shit!"

Soldier: (angry) "Survival of the fittest under the Illuminati! So fuck America, fuck communism, and fuck your religious beliefs!"

Medic shows up.

Medic: (confused) "The fuck is going on? What is with all the angry vibes?"

Pyro: (monotone) "Ideological discussions. Scout is a neo-nazi American, Engineer supports the constitution party of the USA, Soldier is a delusional Illuminati believer, Demoman is a communist, and Heavy is a... Um..."

Heavy: (monotone) "I support a moral democracy. Pyro is a satanist."

Pyro: (normal) "Yeah. That."

Medic: (perplexed) "Do you guys need a psychiatrist? Because you all sound like it. Well, maybe not Heavy. Still."

Demoman: (aggressive) "Then what the fuck do you believe in, Medic?"

Soldier: (salutes) "Support the Illuminati!"

Scout: (angry) "It better not be democracy!"

Medic: (angry) "I do support democracy, you whore-son!"

Scout: (angry) "The fuck you say!? Did you just called my mother a whore!?"

Medic: (angry) "For someone that doesn't support democracy, of course I shall call your mother a whore! As a matter of fact, I support Athenian democracy! Women shouldn't get involved with politics! Especially that time of the month for them!"

Heavy: (offended) "That's just as bad as Scout being a sexist, racist neo-nazi and a Trump supporter!"

Pyro: (angry) "Sexist pig! Everyone has a right to vote! Men and women no matter their race!"

Engineer: (lean away) "Weird coming from a satanist."

Pyro: (offended) "Says the religious politician that should go fuck himself!"

Engineer: (angry) "You listen here! You have your own faith and I got mine, you filthy devil-worshiper!"

The whole argument devolved into a cacophony of arguments and degeneracy. That is until Sniper shows up.

Sniper: (yelling) "SHUUUUUUUUUT THE FUUUUUUUUUCK UP!" (angry tone) "What the bloody hell with all this fucking shouting about!? I was watching National Geographic until I can hear all the shouting and screaming all the way to my water tower home! Even having the volume turned up all the way and I can still hear all the noise! So what the fuck is going on, you gobe-shites!?"

Medic: (upset) "We were arguing about politics, beliefs and ideologies!"

Heavy: (normal) "I am a moral democracy supporter, Scout is a Donal Trump neo-nazi nutbar that is sexist, Medic is a sexist Athenian democratic, Pyro is a satanist, Soldier is a Illuminati psycho, Demoman supports Scotland independence yet supports communism, and Engineer supports the constitution party."

Scout: (offended) "The correct term is; American patriot!"

Medic: (indifferent) "Women should not take part in politics!"

Sniper: (angry) "Shut up! All of you!" (signs) (calming down) "I really don't give a fuck. To be honest, I'm a non-partisan. I think that guys like you are what's ruining this world. Always have some ideology that is gonna go wrong, no matter how you slice it. Look at history. Every idea that has risen to power tried to take over the world and force it onto others that ended in very horrible wars. World War II is one perfect example of that along with the Cold War."

Demoman: (normal) "Come on. Communism can work under the right guidance."

Soldier: (upset) "No it won't! The world would be better with the Illuminati leading the way!"

Engineer: (upset) "You can't ban religion! It's immoral! And everything will end-up like what happened in Warhammer 40K before the Emperor ended-up on the Golden Throne! Didn't you read the Last Church and learned from that?!"

Sniper: (upset) "And you guys are the reason why all your countries are falling apart!"

Medic: (angry) "WOMEN SHOULD NOT TAKE PART IN POLITICS!"

Heavy: (angry) "You, Sniper and Scout are the most offensive people here! You should all go fuck yourselves like the backwards cavemen you are!"

Pyro: (angry) "It's time to make sacrifices!"

Spy then appears.

Spy: (annoyed) "Honestly, why bother with ideology and beliefs?"

Heavy: (surprised) "SPY!"

Scout: (surprised) "You've been here the whole time?!"

Spy: (annoyed) "Indeed. But to let you all know, I am a nihilist. Life has no meaning and I don't give two shits about all of you. I don't care if you live or not or your stupid ideologies. You are all pathetic little monkeys with nothing better to do than to whine and complain about politics and beliefs."

Everyone pulls out their guns and ready to kill Spy.

Medic: (threatens) "Take it back, you French fuck."

Spy: (squints) "Make me!"

Everyone open fires at the Spy yet unaware he managed to escape with a Dead Ringer. They all stop firing and check the fake corpse.

Demoman: (unsure) "Did we get him?"

Scout: (normal) "No. He probably used a Dead Ringer just to piss us off."

Heavy: (normal) "I say we hunt him down to make sure he doesn't spread his nihilism. Truce?"

Everyone: (shout) "TRUCE!"


The video ended and all members of GRN Team are even more disturbed than before.

Scout: (disturbed) "For fuck's sake! What the fuck was with TEL Team!?"

Spy: (exhausted) "I have no idea why they support such terrible ideologies. Except for TEL Heavy. The only white sheep on that team."

Heavy: (confused) "Is that why they dropped nukes on them?"

Spy: (disturbed) "Oh no! Here's the next tape."

Spy plays the next tape and shows both PNK and TEL fighting Doom demons for their lives with TEL Pyro at the center of it all with many horrible things happening to them that will not be explained. The tape ended with everyone on GRN Team horrified beyond belief.

Demoman: (scared) "Jesus Christ! What the fuck!?"

Soldier: (scared) "Glad that was a good excuse to use a nuke."

Sniper: (normal) "Yeah, but the only three decent people have been erased."

Pyro passes out onto the floor with his eyes bugging out.


AN: Hey everyone. Sorry this took so long. Hope you...well... Yeah. But don't worry, the next chapter will focus more on what they're gonna play thanks to the four Engineers. Sorta. Later!