A/N: Hello to all my wonderful readers and welcome back to the continuing saga of Jed and Abbey! This one features a bit of a turning point for Jed, leading him down the path that makes him the man we all know and love. Hope you enjoy!
2:15pm (Eastern Standard Time)
Notre Dame University
Indiana
November 22nd, 1963
Jed Bartlet couldn't stop smiling as he walked across the campus, even though he had never much cared for mathematics and as such didn't particularly enjoy any setting in which he was required to focus on it, and just as he was preparing to enter the classroom, he frowned sign that had been taped to the door. His professor had never once cancelled his lessons, but it appeared there was a first time for everything, and he shrugged as he turned on his heel. At least it hadn't been a class he was especially fond of, and this would give him more time to spend with Abbey. Definitely a silver lining, in his humble opinion.
As he passed by the other classrooms in the building, he realized that every door was sporting the exact same sign, and he frowned at the oddness of this, wondering what was going on. After all, it was a college campus, the entire point was to teach. He turned in the direction of Abbey's dorm, theorizing that she might have some idea of what was happening and even if she didn't, he still wanted the opportunity to see her, reasoning that there was no excuse to not take advantage of his suddenly free afternoon.
He knocked lightly on her door, giving her a smile as soon as she opened it, and it wasn't until he kissed her cheek that he noticed the tears in her eyes, and he frowned, suddenly very concerned.
"Abbey, what's wrong? Are you okay?"
She pulled him into the room, closing the door slowly behind him, and when he saw that Millie was also crying, he fought against the flash of fear that gripped his entire body.
"Jed, did you have any classes today?"
He nodded at Millie's question, unsure of what this had to do with their obvious distress.
"Yeah, but it was cancelled. Every single classroom had a sign on the door. That's what I came by to ask about. Do either of you know why? What's going on?"
Abbey reached for his hand, and he frowned at the shaking of her fingers as he entwined them with his own.
"Jed…the President is dead," she said quietly, "He was assassinated in Texas this afternoon."
Jed stared at her, waiting for the punch line of a cruel and terrible joke, but when he looked into Abbey's eyes, he knew it would never come. He felt the oxygen leave his body, suddenly more dizzy than he could ever remember being, and when he realized his legs were incredibly close to buckling beneath him, he moved blindly towards Abbey's bed. His eyes never left her as he sank onto the mattress, though he had dropped her hand without even realizing it, and when he spoke, he could only manage to form one word.
"What?"
"He was shot in Dallas," Abbey explained, walking over to sit next to him, "It's been all over the radio and the television since it happened. They have actual footage. It was…god, Jed, it was horrific. The way Mrs. Kennedy…I can't even imagine what she must be going through."
"Why?"
"No one knows," she said softly, "I don't know if they even know who did it yet. I couldn't listen to it anymore after I saw the footage. I just…I couldn't."
"How?"
He couldn't seem to speak in anything other than one-word sentences, but Abbey didn't appear to mind, holding his hand tightly in her own.
"It looked like the shot came from behind them. I'm sure you'll see it at some point. It's everywhere."
Jed had absolutely no desire to watch a man being murdered on a television screen, but logically he knew she was right. There was no way he would be able to avoid it, and he was suddenly overcome with the urge to get the whole experience over as soon as possible. He stood, intending to make his way down to the common area of the dorm that housed the television, and when he held out his hand, Abbey frowned.
"Will you come with me?"
He knew she didn't want to see it again, but he honestly wasn't sure if he would be able to handle watching it without her, and when she took his hand, he gave her a grateful smile.
"Thank you," he said softly, "You can close your eyes if you need to."
She nodded, and as they left the room, Millie wiped her hand under her eyes in a failed attempt to make them stop falling.
Just as he had expected, the common area was filled with students, gathered around the television silently, and as he half-listened to the report, Jed wrapped his arm around Abbey's shoulders, pulling her closer. After a few minutes, the footage began to play, slightly out of focus and grainy but undeniably real, and when Jed felt Abbey bury her face in his chest, he knew what was about to happen. He couldn't tear his eyes away from the screen, though it was every bit as gruesome as Abbey had described, and while it couldn't have been more than a few seconds, it seemed to take an eternity.
It played several more times, though he didn't so much as glance at it, and he turned away from the crowd of students, leading Abbey away from the room slowly. He could feel his own body shaking as they walked the short distance to the hallway and when they were far enough away to not be overheard, Abbey stopped, looking up at him seriously.
"Are you okay?"
He nodded, hugging her tightly, pressing his lips to her hair as he felt the tears prickling his eyes.
"Yeah," he whispered, "Are you? I know you didn't want to come with me, but I couldn't have—without you there, I—"
"Shh…" she said gently, "I know, baby. It's okay. Let's just get out of here and we can talk about it if you want."
The walk back to her room was silent, the tragedy hanging over the entire building, and when Abbey finally pushed her door open, he noticed her hands were shaking just as badly as his own. Millie was nowhere to be seen and Jed strongly suspected that she had needed to be alone as she tried to process the turn of events, and as he sat down on the edge of Abbey's bed, he could feel her watching him closely.
"I know you admired him," she said softly, "It's just so terrible and so…violent. I can't understand how…"
She trailed off, unable to articulate what she wanted to say, and Jed nodded, blinking to keep his tears in check.
"I might not have agreed with him on everything, but he was a good man. He made mistakes, but he tried to always do the right thing, at least politically. Could it have been a religious motive? I mean, he was pretty open about being Catholic, maybe someone didn't agree with that, or…hell, I don't know," he sighed, shaking his head, "It just doesn't make sense."
Abbey moved to sit next to him, resting her head on his shoulder, and when he wrapped his arm around her, she closed her eyes slowly.
"How could someone do this?" she whispered, "He was so young, he had a family, little children…there was so much good left for him to do, and now…I know the protocol, but what's going to happen to the country? First the war in Vietnam and now this?"
Jed kissed her hand, holding it tightly, and when he blinked, he didn't even try to stop the tears from falling onto his lap.
"I know Johnson will take the Oath, but what kind of leader will he be? The country is going to need someone who can rebuild it after something like this. It's not the same as war, but it's still a national tragedy," Abbey said, pausing for a moment, "Is it stupid of me to be a little scared right now?"
"No, baby," he whispered, pulling her closer, "It's not stupid at all. Something like this could cause riots, it could even lead to war in the worst-case scenario. Right now, there's really only one thing we can do."
"Panic?" Abbey asked, only half-joking, "Because I'm seriously leaning towards that option at the moment."
"No," Jed said quietly, "Pray."
The days following the assassination were somber and subdued, with every news broadcast covering the event and preparing for the funeral, and as he walked back to his room, Jed could feel the grief as surely as if he had lost a family member. He couldn't have explained why the loss had affected him so strongly if he'd tried, but he supposed that, in a way, he had lost someone he had looked up to. He'd always admired Kennedy, had been enamored with the way he spoke, the way he tried to follow his own moral compass even when the decision was impossible, and Jed had often wondered what it must have been like to have a father like that.
Jed also shared Abbey's concern over the state of the country, though he did his best to hide his worry lest he upset her more, and he found himself wondering more and more frequently about how he would proceed in such a situation. He had once jokingly mentioned to her that he might possibly run for office one day, though he had never thought about aiming as high as the White House, and now that the nation was in such a state of unrest, the thought had returned, more tangible than before. Maybe he could make a difference, even if it was on a much smaller scale than the presidency.
He knew Abbey was feeling the loss on a more personal level, empathizing with the First Lady over the death of her husband, and when the photograph of Kennedy's tiny son saluting his father's casket had been released to the public, she had cried for the better part of twenty minutes. Her ties to the church weren't as strong as his (not that he had expected them to be), but he knew she had been praying for the First Family each night, and he loved her all the more for it. Her compassion and courage made him feel prouder each time it was prominently on display, though he would have been lying if he'd said he didn't sometimes feel concern for the toll it took on her. Still, he trusted her to know her own limitations, and he wisely kept his mouth shut, not wanting to incur her wrath.
"Sad state of affairs, huh, Bartlet?" Jeremy asked as he closed the door.
Jed nodded solemnly, sighing as he dropped his books on his desk, for once not the least bit concerned with his coursework.
"Yeah. As if the war in Vietnam wasn't bad enough, now we have a crisis here to deal with. I don't blame Abbey for being scared. Everything is so uncertain right now, there's no telling what will happen."
"How is Abbey? Haven't seen much of her in the last few days. Everything okay between you two?"
Jed nodded, though he didn't smile the way he typically did at the mention of Abbey's name.
"We're fine, I just don't want to crowd her. She's still pretty upset. She keeps thinking about Kennedy's kids and his wife. She's got a good heart, and sometimes that isn't an easy thing to have. I'm giving her time to work through it and when she's ready or if she asks me to, I'll be there."
"If it were up to Abbey, she'd send those kids an entire toy store if it made them smile."
Jed laughed quietly, knowing he was right.
"Don't give her any ideas."
As she pulled her skirt up her legs, Abbey sighed, her fingers fumbling with the zipper on the back. She'd finally decided that she wasn't going to spend the rest of her life mourning a man she had never met, no matter how important he had been, and if she was being honest, she missed Jed. More importantly, she missed feeling happy and she knew her best chance at reclaiming that happiness was to be with him, and really, did she even need an excuse to see her boyfriend? Her numb fingers were making the task at hand much more difficult, however, and she rolled her eyes as she finally managed to fasten the skirt in place. Damn cold weather.
She knew the country was in turmoil, but there was little she could do to change that fact, and she sure as hell wasn't going to drive herself insane trying to find a way, and as she walked across campus, she shivered in the bitter wind. Her hands were so cold when she knocked on Jed's door that at first, she couldn't feel it, and when it swung open, Jeremy gave her a smile, hugging her tightly.
"Abbey! Long time, no see! How've you been, doc?"
"Fine," she said, "Is Jed here?"
"He went to grab some food. Should be back in a few minutes. Get in here, woman! You're so cold you feel like you've been locked in a freezer."
She smiled gratefully, stepping into the room, and when Jeremy offered her a blanket, she accepted it with a smile, her fingers clutching it around her shoulders as though her life depended on it. He handed her a glass containing a small amount of scotch, nodding at her when she thanked him, and as she took a small sip, she sat down on Jed's bed. She worried about potentially spilling the drink due to the shivering of her body, but as she took another sip, she found that the cold was beginning to lessen. At the very least, she didn't feel as though she were being stabbed by thousands of knives anymore.
"So, what brings you by, future-Mrs.-Bartlet?"
Abbey laughed, already feeling better than she had in a week, and shook her head slowly.
"I haven't really seen Jed much lately, and as badly as he annoys me, I've kind of missed him. How has he been taking everything?"
Jeremy shrugged, looking at her seriously.
"About as well as you. He didn't want to smother you, though, so he said he'd wait until you were ready to see him. He said you'd been pretty upset."
Abbey nodded.
"I couldn't stop thinking about her. Mrs. Kennedy, I mean. Can you imagine how terrifying it must be to have your husband be the President, know that he's been shot, and know that there's nothing you can do about it? She must have felt so helpless and panicked. I know I would be if anything like that happened to Jed."
Jeremy smiled at her, pouring his own drink, and raising the glass in her direction.
"See, Abbey? You're already thinking like his wife. Tell me you haven't already imagined what your wedding would look like."
"Not really," she shook her head, "I've imagined what it would be like to be married to Jed, but not the actual wedding day. I don't want to build it up in my head and risk disappointment."
He stared at her for a moment, silently asking her if she was stupid.
"Do you really think you could ever be disappointed on your wedding day if you're marrying Jed? Seriously, Abbey."
Realizing how ridiculous it sounded, Abbey laughed, conceding that he made a very good point, draining her glass quickly. She jumped slightly at the sound of the door opening, and as Jed entered the room, his eyes were downcast, focused on not spilling the glass of water in his hand.
"You know, this would be so much easier if—Abbey! What are you doing here, and why do you have a blanket?"
"Because it's freezing outside, Jed. I didn't think you'd appreciate it if I let your girl die from the cold, so I gave her a blanket," Jeremy replied, rolling his eyes.
Jed set his glass down on the bedside table, sitting down next to Abbey, and gave her a kiss, wrapping his arm around her shoulders lightly.
"Well, this was the best surprise I could have come back to."
Sensing that they would prefer to be alone, Jeremy excused himself to go to the dining hall, waving at Abbey as he left, and as soon as the door had closed behind him, Abbey moved closer, kissing Jed slowly. He pulled her into his arms, pushing her back onto the bed, and when they finally broke apart several moments later, Abbey ran her fingers through his hair lightly.
"Hi," she said, smiling at him.
"Hi," he replied, kissing her again, "I missed you so much."
"I missed you, too. I'm sorry I haven't been around more."
"You're forgiven," he kissed her throat, smiling when she tipped her head back to give him better access, "Now, take your clothes off."
Abbey laughed, shaking her head as her hands pushed him away from her gently, rolling her eyes in amusement.
"There's the romance everyone always talks about," she muttered sarcastically, "I'm impressed, babe."
"I'm a regular William Shakespeare, sweetheart. Clothes off."
Jed kissed her again, frowning when he noticed that she didn't seem as enthusiastic as she typically was, and when he pulled back to look at her, he was suddenly worried that he'd crossed some line he hadn't been aware of.
"Jed, I—I'm sorry. I just don't think…not tonight."
His confusion only intensified, and he ran his fingers through her hair, noticing that she had never once looked at him when spoke.
"Abbey, why would you be sorry? It's no big deal. I was kidding more than anything. Believe it or not, I'm not dating you just for sex."
"You're not mad?"
Jed stared at her, certain she had lost her mind, and reached for her hand, running his thumb over her skin lightly.
"Why would I be? I managed the last twenty-one years of my life without sex, I think I can go without it for a little longer. I've never known you to turn it down, though, so…what's wrong?"
"Nothing," she said slowly, "I just want to spend a night with you that didn't lead to sex and where we can just be together for the sake of being together."
"We can do anything you want, baby," he said seriously, "But you might be asking for a lot if I can't at least kiss you."
"Jed, I said I didn't want to have sex, not that I was becoming a nun," Abbey laughed, finally looking at him, "Of course you can still kiss me. In fact, no one's stopping you right now, are they?"
He smiled, kissing her slowly, and when he moved to the other side of the bed, he held out his arms, kissing her again as she fell into them. Abbey moved closer to his warmth, resting her head on his chest, and as she absentmindedly ran her fingers over his arm, she smiled. This was what she had missed most, simply being with Jed for no other reason than to be in his presence. His fingers lightly combed through her hair, relaxing her and giving her the comfort she hadn't even realized she'd needed, and she closed her eyes as she listened to his heartbeat.
"I love you, Jed," she said softly.
Jed smiled, dropping a kiss to her hair, tightening his hold on her body, breathing in the scent of her perfume.
"I love you too, Abbey."
"Do you think Jeremy would mind if I stayed here tonight?"
Jed laughed before shaking his head.
"Better question is why you think I would care. But, no. Jeremy loves you. As long as we don't keep him awake all night having sex, he won't care at all."
"Good," Abbey smiled, raising up to kiss him slowly, "because I have absolutely no intention of sleeping alone tonight and I would much rather be here with you than in bed with Millie. She steals the blankets."
Jed laughed again as Abbey laid back in his arms, and when her fingers curled around his shirt, he couldn't help but imagine what it would look like to see a diamond on the fourth knuckle of her left hand.
When Abbey awoke in the early hours of the morning, she was wildly confused by her location before she remembered that she had stayed in Jed's room that night. She smiled as she felt his arm wrap around her waist, pulling her as close to his body as possible, and when the door suddenly opened, she frowned at the change in light, fear flashing through her until she realized that it was only Jeremy. She raised her head carefully, not wanting to wake Jed, and kept her voice as low as she could when she said his name.
"Jeremy, are you okay?"
"Oh, hey Abbey. Yeah, I'm okay. Didn't mean to wake you."
"You didn't," she said quietly, "I was already awake. Are you sure nothing is wrong? Even you don't usually stay out until four in the morning."
"Just thinking. Besides, I wanted to give you and Jed time to be alone."
"While I appreciate that, it wasn't necessary. We are capable of being alone without having sex, you know. We did that for a long time, if you recall."
Jeremy laughed quietly, nodding as he sat down to take his shoes off.
"Yeah, I remember. Contrary to popular belief, I do pay attention."
Abbey frowned, slowly untangling herself from Jed's sleeping embrace, and she closed the distance between them, sitting down next to Jeremy as he tossed his shoes in the corner.
"I don't mind listening. Surprisingly enough, I do remember the conversation we had about you feeling like a failure compared to Jed. I'm pretty sure I told you that he's far from perfect. I think I did, anyway. I was really drunk."
He laughed, nodding at her.
"Damn right you were. But Abbey, it's not just Jed. Everyone sees me as a failure, but my grades are actually really high. Just because I skip class sometimes, that doesn't mean I'm not doing the work. Do you really think they would let me stay if I wasn't contributing? If no one sees you trying, they can't judge you when you fail. But…when no one expects you to do anything right, they always have this surprised look on their face when you succeed. It hurts, because you realize that no one ever thought you were capable of anything in the first place. I know I brought a lot of this on myself and I have no right to complain, but…"
He sighed, looking at her with a small smile.
"I know this must all sound really ridiculous to you because you always give everything to what you're doing, but thanks for listening."
Abbey smiled, hugging him lightly.
"Of course. And it doesn't sound stupid. I know it might seem like I have everything together, but believe me, I don't. My best isn't even as good as everyone else's 'good enough'. I have to be perfect just to come close. And when people have high expectations, it just means you have farther to fall when you disappoint them. I spend so much time trying to do everything perfectly just so I don't have to see that fucking disappointment in the eyes of everyone around me. Sometimes, I wish I could be more like you."
Jeremy laughed quietly, shaking his head slowly as he looked at her.
"Maybe we can learn from each other. You show me how to slowly start changing my reputation and I'll teach you how to relax a little bit."
"I'd say you've got a deal."
"Abigail, honey, I'm happy you and Jeremy are such good friends, but do you think you could pick this conversation up when it's daylight? Some of us are trying to sleep here."
Abbey laughed at the sound of Jed's slightly hoarse words, shaking her head as she stood up to walk back to Jed's side of the room.
"How long have you been waiting to say that?"
"Long enough," Jed muttered, folding her into his arms as she climbed back into the bed, "As much as I love to hear your voice, I'd rather not have it be when I've got an early class the next day."
"Sorry, babe. Go back to sleep."
She kissed him lightly, curling her fingers around his shirt, and when his even breathing filled the room, she smiled, thanking God for the man holding her in his arms.
"I've been thinking," Jed said suddenly late one Saturday afternoon, wrapping his arm around Abbey's shoulder.
"That's a dangerous pastime," she quipped, laughing quietly.
"Hush," he reprimanded her gently, "I'm having a real epiphany here, and you're ruining my moment."
"Oh, I'm so sorry, babe. Don't let me spoil your revelation, by all means, continue," Abbey replied dryly, rolling her eyes.
"Thank you. Do you remember last year when I said you would be a world-renowned doctor and I might be a governor of something?"
Abbey nodded, almost positive she knew where he was going, but staying quiet just to be sure.
"What would you think about my seriously running for office? Not any time soon, obviously, but after I finish school, and get a few years of different experiences. I already have ties in New Hampshire, I could start there. Maybe volunteer for a few things, get my feet wet, in a sense."
Abbey thought about it for a long moment, and when she finally answered, she tried to keep her voice neutral.
"Is there any particular reason you've had this major epiphany?"
He nodded.
"I keep thinking about Kennedy. He was a good man in an impossible position, but he still did everything he could to lead with morals. There are so many areas that need to be improved and while I might not be the most qualified, I want to do whatever I can to make a difference for the better. One person can make all the difference if they have the opportunity, and my family history might just give me the chance that someone else wouldn't have. Every revolution started with one person, and maybe that person isn't me, but who knows? Maybe it could be."
Smiling, Abbey reached for his hand, bringing it to her lips gently, her eyes locking on his as she answered.
"I think it definitely could be, Jed. I think one day, you're going to change the world. And I can't wait to see it."
"Which organ filters the blood and removes toxins from the body?"
Abbey rolled her eyes at the question, staring at Jed as though he'd never asked her a more stupid question, and sighed as she tipped over into his lap, her head resting on his lower thighs.
"The liver, Jed. Ask me one that will actually be a challenge."
"Okay, smartass. What's the definition of oxytocin? The full definition, since you're so sure of yourself."
"It's a hormone and a neurotransmitter that is associated with empathy, trust, sexual activity, and relationship-building. It also initiates contractions during childbirth as well as milk release. It's produced in the hypothalamus and released through the pituitary gland," she replied after a slight hesitation.
Jed smiled, leaning over to kiss her, and Abbey reached up to touch his face gently, laughing when he straightened, tossing the book onto her bed.
"You are, without a doubt, the smartest person I know," he said seriously.
"I think you're just trying to get me into bed," she answered with another laugh.
"Technically, you're already in bed. Not my fault that you're fully clothed, though I would be more than happy to help remedy that."
"Jed," she scoffed, rolling her eyes, "You're impossible, do you know that?"
"As a matter of fact, I do know that."
His tone was light, teasing, and Abbey moved to sit upright, reaching for the book he had discarded. She considered it for a moment, testing its weight in her hand, and when she let it slip from her fingers, Jed jumped, moving his feet out of the pathway.
"I'm guessing you have a very good reason for dropping a book on the ground?"
Abbey shrugged, a smile playing on her lips as she moved closer to his body.
"Just trying to re-create the best moment of my life," she replied, "but then you had to go and ruin it."
He laughed, leaning over to kiss her cheek lightly. She stared at him for a long moment, making him wonder what she was thinking about, and when she spoke, there was a slight nervousness in her voice that he didn't expect.
"Jed, would you do something for me?"
"You know I would. Name it."
"Kiss me like it's the last time you'll ever do it," she said softly.
Though he wondered what had caused her to make the request, there was no way in hell that Jed was going to refuse it, and he pulled her closer, running his hand through her hair. The kiss was slow at first, building in intensity as his tongue swept into her mouth, his right hand still tangled in her hair while his left wrapped around her waist. He tipped her backward on the bed, careful to make sure neither of them fell, and when her left hand gripped his shirt, her right wound into his hair, pulling him as close as humanly possible. It wasn't until his lungs were screaming at him for oxygen that he finally stopped, his eyes locking on hers as they opened, searching for answers.
"I love you," she whispered.
"I love you, too. What's going on, baby? Is something wrong? First, you turned down sex and now this?"
Abbey sighed, trying to think of the best way to explain herself, and shook her head as she attempted to sort through the myriad of thoughts spinning around in her mind.
"Jed, I—nothing is wrong, I'm just…I needed to know that what we have is deeper than just sex. I know I'm being ridiculous, because you told me you loved me before we had ever slept together, but…I feel like I'm losing control of everything, and I don't want you to be another thing on that list."
"Does this have anything to do with what you and Jeremy talked about the other night?"
"How much of that conversation did you hear?" she asked, her tone slightly suspicious.
"All of it," he admitted with a smile, "I woke up when you got out of bed. It was cold without you next to me. And I seem to remember you saying that you felt like you had to be perfect just to measure up to everyone else in the world. Sound about right?"
She nodded, shaking slightly in his arms, though he had no idea whether it was a result of the cold or her emotional state, and he kissed her forehead softly.
"The only thing you ever have to be for me to love you is Abbey," he told her gently, "If you ever feel like you need to fall apart, go ahead. I'll always be there to help you pick up the pieces."
Abbey kissed him again, smiling when he tightened his hold on her waist.
"Even though we both know you'd get frustrated and tell me that you're perfectly capable of picking up the pieces yourself," he added jokingly.
"I'd get mad at you if that wasn't so true," Abbey muttered, shaking her head.
When Abbey failed to meet him for a study session one cold day during the first week of December, Jed couldn't help the instantaneous worry that gripped him, and as he left the library after nearly an hour of waiting and half-hearted reading, it took everything in his power to keep from running to her dorm room. As it was, he still reached the room in record time, knocking lightly on the door, and he frowned at the lack of response. He supposed it made sense that Millie hadn't answered the door as she had gone home for a funeral, but it didn't explain Abbey's absence, and he cautiously pushed the door open, peering around the door. He smiled slightly when he noticed her curled up in bed, fast asleep though it was only a little past six in the evening, and as he made his way into the room, he carefully closed the door behind him.
She didn't move as he walked closer, and though he knew she would kill him for disturbing her sleep, he couldn't stop himself from reaching out to touch her cheek, lightly running his fingertips over her skin. He was immediately concerned by the warmth that radiated from her, and when he ran his fingers slowly through her hair, she shifted away from his touch, a soft whimper falling from her lips.
When her eyes slowly flickered open, he gave her a small smile, kneeling next to her bed, and she returned it weakly, though he couldn't help but notice the glassiness in her bright green eyes.
"Hey, baby," he whispered, kissing her cheek.
"What are you doing here?" she asked in confusion, her skin simultaneously flushed and deathly pale.
"You missed our study session, so I came to make sure you were okay. You feel pretty warm, I think you might have a fever."
"Oh, god, Jed…I'm sorry! I just meant to close my eyes for a minute, and I—"
"It's okay, Abbey," he assured her gently, "I'd say being sick is an extremely valid excuse to stay in bed. Do you need anything? Water, a blanket, aspirin?"
"A baseball bat to the head would be nice," she muttered sarcastically, "I feel like I have a sledgehammer in my skull right now."
"Sorry, honey, no can do on that one," he laughed before kissing her cheek again, "Why don't you just go back to sleep, and I'll stop by tomorrow?"
Abbey shook her head, reaching out to grab his wrist, her voice breaking his heart as it cracked slightly.
"Stay, Jed. Please? You can sleep in Millie's bed if you want, but…please don't leave."
Jed nodded without hesitation, knowing he could never walk away when she so clearly needed him, and he leaned down to kiss her forehead again, smiling as he straightened.
"I'll stay," he promised, "but you need to sleep."
"You won't leave?"
"I'll be here all night. I promise. Just get some rest, sweetheart."
He sat down on the edge of her bed, holding her hand lightly in his until he noticed that she had fallen asleep again, and frowned when he slowly stood up, careful not to wake her. It wasn't like Abbey to be so adamant that he stay near her, and he found himself wondering more and more about her reasoning. She seemed to be in constant fear of him leaving, and he couldn't seem to understand what had happened to cause such a concern, no matter how many different ways he looked at it. He knew that the most likely reason now was that she was sick and didn't want to be left alone, but it didn't explain her strange behaviour over the last few weeks, making him worry that she had been struggling far more than he had originally suspected.
Abbey had always been concerned with the idea of perfectionism, oftentimes pushing herself beyond her limits to achieve it, and Jed frowned as he realized he might have just figured out the main source of her fear. She had been dealing with feelings of inadequacy ever since the start of the new school year, that much he knew (not that he blamed her), but how much of those feelings had spilled over into her life in non-academic ways? Was it possible that she was worried that if she showed any moment of weakness that he would suddenly decide to end their relationship?
This was Abigail Barrington he was thinking about. Of course she was.
A soft moan from Abbey's bed pulled him from his thoughts, and Jed was by her side in an instant, kneeling on the ground as her eyes slowly opened.
"Jed? You're still here?"
He smiled.
"Told you I would be. What's wrong, honey? How can I help?"
She pointed weakly to the thermometer on her bedside table, closing her eyes tiredly as she spoke.
"You could hand me that. And don't forget to shake it."
He nodded, doing as she asked, and he picked up the bottle of aspirin as well, shaking two pills into his hand and as she held the thermometer under her tongue, he placed his hand to her forehead.
"Still feel pretty warm to me."
She held up her finger, signaling for him to wait, and when she realized that her eyes were too unfocused to read the numbers, she handed it to him slowly.
"Could you—"
"104, but extremely close to 105. Isn't that really high? Shouldn't you go see a doctor?"
"Probably," she admitted, "but I'm too tired, Jed. If it gets to 105 or higher in the next few hours, then you can drag me out. Until then, I'm just staying here and sleeping."
Jed handed her the aspirin and watched with admiration as she swallowed them dry, a skill he had never quite mastered, but when she let her head fall onto his shoulder, he frowned at the heat he could feel through his shirt.
"I'm so cold," she murmured, her entire body shaking.
"I know, baby," he whispered, "but it's because you're sick and your body is trying to fight off the infection."
"How do you know that?" she asked, raising her head slightly to look at him.
"Believe it or not, I do listen when you talk," he informed her with a kiss to her temple, "and right now, you need to listen to me. Lie back down and sleep, give the aspirin time to work. I'll be right here if you need me, but you need to rest. Everything else can wait, okay?"
Abbey nodded tiredly against his shoulder, and when he helped her to a more comfortable position, she gave him a smile, reaching up to touch his cheek.
"Thank you," she said weakly, "I love you."
He smiled, kissing her forehead softly.
"I love you too, now get some sleep."
She closed her eyes as he walked back over to Millie's bed, and just before she fell asleep, he laughed quietly, shaking his head.
"I don't know if I can sleep this far away from you."
"Well, you're gonna," she murmured softly, "I'm like a petri dish over here and the last thing we need is for both of us to be sick. So deal with it, sweetheart. It's you and your hand tonight."
He laughed a bit louder than he had intended to at her words, and when he realized she had fallen asleep, he shook his head in amusement. Damn, he loved that woman.
A/N: Out of curiosity, has anyone actually taken the time to look at Abbey's engagement ring? It's pretty impressive, from what I can make out in the few scenes that I've noticed it in. Anyway, thank you all so much for your support!
