Tony pov

It was hours and one and half Die Hard films later when Ziva dropped back off to sleep again. The voice of John McClane saying the classic line "Yippee Ki-Yay motherfuckers" Was interrupted by her snoring. This time Tony did not take her back into his room. He was scared if he moved she'd wake up. And seeing her look so peaceful was too nice to ruin. He thought back to what she had said to him earlier. He had been so close to getting her to open up but like always lately the second it got too hard she tried to run. Tony just hoped he had said the right things to calm her down. She didn't leave so he must have done something right. Maybe it's like AA and admitting you have a problem is the first step. Tony just had to make her see that she wasn't broken just a little fractured. Nothing some superglue couldn't fix. He was getting way to hung up on the broken analogy but it made sense to him.

He just had to remember what Ducky said, patience was key. Something that had never been Tony's strong suit. This isn't something that can be dealt with in a day. For now, he was just happy to have her in his arms even with the ear-splitting snoring that came with it. The Tony 5 years ago would have been shocked at his behaviour, it's a Saturday night and here he was sat comforting someone knowing it wouldn't lead anywhere instead of out in bars. But this was different, this was Ziva. Everything about him is different when it comes to her. He feels this indescribable need to protect her, to care for her in a way he has never felt for anybody. Not even Wendy and he was engaged to the woman, Tony and Ziva weren't even dating. Its not like the thought of dating Ziva hadn't crossed his mind, but that fleeting thought was quickly squashed by the rational part of his brain. They could never be more than they are now, he knew that. It wasn't even rule 12 that stopped them that was just an excuse they both used. Tony and Ziva just never seemed to be in the same place emotionally. Besides Tony still didn't fully believe that she felt the same way as he did. He suspected of course but she was an enigma.

Tony sighed and wrapped his arms around her tighter. For now, this will do. He was just happy to be of help to her. And if that meant sacrificing his precious weekends so be it. besides, even Tony could admit he was getting too old for that lifestyle.

His spiral of thoughts was suddenly interrupted when he felt Ziva's body stiffen. She stopped breathing, eyelids fluttering. She quietly mumbled something Tony couldn't make out and before he could make a move to calm her down she started shaking. Then the screams started. The sound shattered Tony's heart as he desperately tried to wake her from whatever nightmare she was in.

"Zi please, you're okay its me I promise you're safe please wake up"

She thrashed around as if trying to escape from a straight jacket when her eyes flew open. Tony was positioned in front of her holding her shoulders to try and snap her out of it. but the eyes that met his were hazy. Tony paused realising his mistake. It all happened so fast. One minute she was asleep the next she had him pinned to the floor, a knife at his throat.

Tony gulped and slowly raised his hands. She was sat on top of him, her knee in a rather uncomfortable spot. Moving slowly he gently held her hand that was on the knife

"Ziva listen to me" he began slowly and calmly "Look around and take a deep breath, you are in my apartment, you are safe." The fog over her eyes began to clear as he watched her take stock of the room. She looked around the way you were trained to clear a room, never moving the knife. She still wasn't with him. Okay time for a different tactic.

"Ziva look at me" She reluctantly did confusion beginning to form. "I couldn't live without you"

That did it. Telling her the one thing that they shared and held dear from the desert. A small confession but they both knew what it meant. She dropped the knife and let out a small sob.

"Tony?" the shaky voice asked

"Yes it's me you're okay"

"Oh Tony I am so.."

"Rule six" Tony cut her off.

The shaking hadn't stopped and had taken over her whole body by this point. Tony had never seen her in such a state. He looked at her sat in a ball staring down at the knife that was just at his neck and decided to take a leaf out of Ducky's book.

"I'll make us a cup of tea."

Once brewed he brought it over to her and sat on the floor next to her. He had spent the time making it considering how best to get her to talk about what just happened. To find a way for her to let him in. but it seems this deliberating was for nothing.

"I was back there" she began,

"The park?" Tony questions as she pauses.

"No" she gulps "I wish it was that. It was a memory I have tried hard to bury but lately, it keeps haunting me. I can't control my own brain anymore Tony!"

"Do you want to tell me about it? The memory? Facing it head-on might be a way to stop it from following you?"

"you're starting to sound like Ducky"

"Well the duck man is very wise" She chuckled slightly at this before sighing and staring at her hands.

"Saleem. He was smart Tony. I think he knew that I would not give up any information he cared about and so I became more of a pet for him. no not a pet, a lab mouse." Tony decided now was not the best time to correct her American idioms. "It was a game to see what it would take to break me. I do not think he realised I had broken a long time before this just not in the way he recognized. But this day. It did not break me but fundamentally changed me. I can never be the same person again. He won the game."

"No, he's dead. He lost. That's how it works."

"As long as he lives inside my head he is winning Tony."

"Alright then let's get him out"

"it's not that simple."

"Why not! we've done hard things before right why is this different?" He could tell she was doing her usual tactic of trying to make him angry to avoid talking but it wasn't going to work "Look Zi, whatever he did to you, you know you can tell me. There Is nothing you can say that will change my view of you. Nothing I promise."

"I would not make a promise you cannot keep Tony."

He let her sit for a minute to compose herself and not give her an out by talking. She would either tell him or not this was the point Ducky had mentioned. The point where she lets someone in.

After what felt like an eternity she began. Tony sat in silence as she described that mirrored room, the words Sal.. the bastard said to her. He didn't dare move an inch for fear of scaring her to stop talking. She got to the point where the assault began and couldn't find the words. That was enough Tony thought and moved to wrap her in his arms as she broke down into them. He felt sick, no, not even sick just enraged. He wanted to take Saleem's dead body and kill him all over again but slower. He needed to feel an ounce of her pain.

"I'm so sorry" Tony whispered to her as a tear escaped his eye. He did know what to say in this moment and that had been his fear from the beginning of all of this. That when the time came when she opened up to him he would fail. Anger clouded his brain as he unclenched his fists which had formed without his knowledge. Taking a deep breath and not letting go of her he thought through his words carefully "I wish I could take all this pain from you, that I could go back and stop this from ever happening. Ziva I know there is nothing I can say to make any of this better but please hear me. You, Ziva David, are an incredibly strong force of nature. You are my ninja, and nothing will ever change that. Thank you for telling me all of this I know it can't have been easy." Ziva sobbed in response, but the shaking seemed to lesson which Tony took as a positive.

Ziva took some deep breaths and began to calm. "I think I should go home," she said in a shaky quiet voice

"You sure? I don't mind you staying here Zi."

"I need to be alone for a bit Tony but thank you for tonight."

"Okay if you're sure I'll take you home I don't want you driving. But you can call me or come round whenever you want okay?"

Ziva nods in response all the energy seemed to have been drained from her as Tony grabbed his keys and made his way out the door her hand in his.