Summary: This world is Aku, meaning Aku knows about everything, including when you fornicate.

.o

The reach of Aku spread far and wide. Wherever his satellite trees had grown prior to him becoming conscious, he had acute perception of the lands in which he grew. Those trees thrummed with the very essence of his being, relaying information back to him. He consciously spread his roots across all seven continents, having a unique network that let him know what was living in his lands or who moved about it.

That being said, having so much information coming to someone at once would be an information overload for anyone, including a demon like him. That was why most of it was background noise to his conscious thought. He really didn't care what was happening in his lands so long as it didn't directly impact him.

When worthless lifeforms attempting to cut down some of his trees in a forest hundreds of miles away, it was but an itch to him. Scratching that itch entailed making the trues move and stab the assailants dead. With that, the itch was gone.

The same concept applied to beings that were created by him or imbued by his powers. He couldn't feel pain; no, that feat alone was left to the sword, but he could feel that annoying itch whenever he spawned an army of a hundred and said army were decimated by the samurai. Every soldier taken was an itch in his side. Didn't hurt, but was definitely a bother.

So, when he felt something he'd never felt before, that caught his attention. It was like itching, a substitute for pain, just as dull and quiet in the sea of sensory that passed through his mind every minute. But it was… pleasant. The only things that Aku had been able to feel physically were physical contact from other objects, the itching, and the pain from the samurai.

He dropped what he was doing (watching his minions destroy a desert city, injuring hundreds, and steal a healing crystal that apparently could heal all wounds). He tapped into where he was feeling these now rather satisfying sensations. The stronger he focused on the sensation, the more it affected him. He felt a rippling warmth bubble in his torso, making his chest feel warmer than normal and gooey with pleasure.

He looked through the magical television in his wall to locate the source of this stimulation. He balked at what he saw.

Samurai Jack and some girl. Having sex in snow.

Aku remained frozen for longer than he would've cared to admit. The shock of being basically flashbanged by human porn aside, he was also shocked that the samurai had been willing to lower his guard enough to not care that Aku might be watching, but also that he'd risk being intimate with another woman. Especially thinking he should've learned his lesson with Ikra and Jill.

He hadn't fought the samurai in nearly fifty years, and hadn't really been checking up on him since all time portals had been eliminated. He considered maybe he should check in on the man more often.

But right now, he had to figure out why he was getting any signals from this land. This land was untouched by his trees. Where the hell was it coming from?

Opening a portal, he travelled there.

.o

Aku could tell that Jack immediately sensed his presence, despite there being no sound and the samurai's back being turned to him. Aku could see the tension that suddenly snapped into the man's sweaty body and his movements stilled. Curiously, the samurai seemed seriously injured, multiple open cuts scattered about his body.

"Disgusting, samurai," Aku drawled, revolted by the act. "And I thought you couldn't stoop any lower."

Jack gasped and moved to cover himself. The female, on the other hand, stared wide eyed and mouth gaping.

"Aku! My master! I have been waiting for you to grace my presence!" She hailed, standing immediately, buck naked (though she seemed to have some spots of black tar covering parts of her skin), and bowing. He smiled, pleased that at least one human here knew their place. But then he remembered that she had been intimate with the fool and his smile dropped. Aku looked back at Jack, surprised that he had grown a beard. When the samurai did nothing more and the girl spewing a litany of praises heralding the great shogun of darkness, Aku spoke.

"I came here because I sensed something unusual… and I came to investigate it." Aku explained, taking several whiffs of the air to discern where he may have left some of his essence. The girl had moved to stand by Aku's side, having grabbed a weapon that had been disposed off to the side.

That smell of him… it was coming from the girl?

"Hey… You've got part of me in you!" Aku said. It took him a moment to process what that meant. He couldn't feel anything other than itching when she got hurt—and it mattered little when she got hurt because it got lost in the sea of sensory information)—but he could definitely feel when she was intimate with someone else.

"I am honoured to have a part of you within me, Father of all Fathers. I was born with your presence within me! I am truly a daughter of Aku!" she announced proudly, saluting. Jack, to Aku's amusement, looked horrified.

"I'm gonna need you to stop having sex with the samurai," Aku reprimanded. "You can't just have sex with my mortal enemy."

Ashi bowed low. "I apologize, Aku! Mother said that the samurai would use any means to deceive me, and I foolishly got roped into it!"

Aku rolled his hand. "Yeah, yeah, yeah, just kill him already, will you?"

The girl nodded. "With pleasure, oh Master of Masters!"