"I miss her." Sherlock suddenly said.

"Hm?" John hummed looking over at Sherlock.

"I miss her." He repeated. "And I know I don't have a right to miss her."

"To miss who Sherlock?" John asked.

"Mary."

"Oh." They were silent for a minute then John spoke. "Sherlock, you have every right to miss her. She was your friend." Sherlock shifted on the couch.

"but I'm the reason she's dead."

"No your not." John said softly. "She died saving you."

"But-" Sherlock started to say. John held up a hand to silence him.

"It was Mary's choice. And you are allowed to miss her." Sherlock looked down. John sighed. "I know it's hard. Some days I forget." John glanced at Sherlock. Sherlock's head was bent low. "And some days I can feel it like a hole inside my heart that can never be healed." Sherlock's shoulders stiffened. "But then I remind myself it was her choice, and I still have you and Rosie. And that's enough. It's not perfect I miss her everyday, but Its enough." Sherlock slowly looked up at John.

"I'm sorry." He whispered a tear slipping down his cheek.

"Don't apologize." John said moving over to Sherlock. He gently thumbed the tear away. "I've got my Daughter and my best friend. It wont always be easy. But we'll get by." John pulled Sherlock into a gentle hug. "It'll be okay." He whispered He then pulled back. Sherlock looked lost. "Hey, let's lie down yeah?" Sherlock nodded, he let John guide him into a laying position. John drew a blanket over him. Sherlock's eyes flickered to the Christmas tree.

"It's beautiful." He whispered. John glanced at it.

"Yeah it is."

"Rosie's first Christmas." Sherlock said.

"Mm." John agreed rubbing Sherlock's arm.

"And her mother won't be here." John didn't say anything. They sat there in silence for a while until John finally spoke.

"Get some rest Sherlock." He then stood up with a soft touch on Sherlock's shoulder he was gone.

The next morning Sherlock watched as Rosie shrieked with joy as she opened her presents and how John laughed. There's eyes caught for a second, no not perfect but alright...everything was going to be alright.