JOURNAL
Notes
Log Entry 003
Department: RDA TAP
Location: Please see attached.
USER005: I can't fall asleep …again. Not because I'm not tired or don't want to. I guess I don't in a way, but that's beside the point.
"Dream-walkers". I've heard that term before somewhere. I don't really know what it means but I think it's about people cursed by dreams. People who are unable to escape from them no matter how hard they might try. People like me.
Staying awake isn't easy but I'd rather do this than sleep. I worry that if I close my eyes, then I'll have to face them again. These... things, things I don't want to talk about. Things I don't want to write about.
Nightmares.
It's dark, and quiet, and I feel so tired. I just need to hold on a little longer and find something to keep myself busy with. If writing is it, then it'll have to do. It's hard to write about nothing. Maybe, uh, I could talk about my day. Or about what we studied. Or maybe, I can talk about my friends. Yes, I could do that... right?
I could write about Nor. He's awake too now. Or Ri'nela and Teylan.
Yeah, I can write about them. About the things that make me smile and I won't have to sleep.
This is what Mercer calls a "win-win" or "zero-sum game" if I understand him correctly. He really likes that term, you know? Although, ...I often find myself at a loss when he's around. It's words like these that Mercer chooses and that make Alma quiet for a reason I don't understand.
Alma says not to think about it too much. I guess I shouldn't, because Alma is always right, and we must listen to her and other adults. She was right about this writing thing too because the clock's about to ring.
