"What do you wanna do today?" Louise Belcher asked her siblings. They were sitting at a table in their father Bob's restaurant, Bob's Burgers.
"I don't know," her brother Gene said. "What do you want to do?"
"We could go to the movies," their sister Tina said.
"I don't have any money," Louise muttered.
"Bowling?" Gene suggested.
"That costs money too," Lousie reminded him.
"Why don't we go to the playground?" Tina said. "That doesn't cost anything."
"Going to the playground is no fun," Louise informed her. "If it was fun, it would cost money! Anything fun costs money!"
"Money can't buy world peace," Tina said.
"Who needs world peace when you can buy a piece of the world?" Louise shouted. "Come on, you two. We need to come up with a way to make some real money."
"I have seven cents," said Gene.
Lousie turned to him. "That's not real money! Real money would be a hundred dollars, a thousand, a hundred thousand, a million! Lots of zeros. That's real money."
"How are we gonna get that?" Tina asked.
"We could rob a bank," Louise suggested.
Tina shook her head. "If we do that, we'll end up going to jail. Or hell. Or hell jail!"
"Okay, how about this idea?" Gene said. "You know those little packs of ketchup Dad gives out to customers?" He had one of them in his hand now. He was squeezing it.
"Yeah," said Louise.
"You know how squishy they are?"
"Yeah…"
"I always liked squooshing them with my fingers. I could do it for hours."
"Your point?" Louise demanded.
"I was thinking," Gene said. "We should make pillows out of those things. You know, big ones for people to sleep on. We could start a company making ketchup filled pillows. You could even microwave them so they'd be warm when you went to bed."
"Are you crazy?" Louise asked him. "Microwaved pillows?"
"It was just an idea," Gene added sheepishly.
"We could wash cars, I suppose," Tina said. "Or sell lemonade."
"Wash cars?" Louise muttered disgustedly. "Sell lemonade? Are you joking? You think you're going to get rich quick selling lemonade for a quarter a cup? You think you're going to get rich quick washing cars? You might as well wait around for a UFO to land in your backyard."
"We don't have a backyard," Gene reminded her.
Suddenly, Louise got a devious and thevious idea. "That's it!"
"What's it?" Tina asked.
"We'll snap a picture of a UFO! It'll make us a million bucks!"
"Where are we going to find a UFO?" Gene asked.
Louise rolled her eyes. "We're not gonna find one. We'll make a fake UFO and take pictures of it. Then we'll sell the pictures to all those cheesy newspapers they sell at the checkout line in the supermarket. We'll shoot video of the UFO and sell it to sleazy TV shows. They love that stuff. Soon companies will be all over us offering to make UFO posters, UFO lunch boxes, UFO toys, UFO trading cards, UFO backpacks…"
"Don't forget UFO T-shirts," Tina added, warming to the idea.
"I'll ask Dad if we can borrow his camera," Louise said. "We're gonna be millionaires!"
