A/N: Hello again and welcome back to a non-spn story written for Dargar, who gave me the prompt. I hope you enjoy this AU and the journey that Sam takes. I do like to hear from you, please leave a review/comment. NC

Disclaimer: I do not own any aspect of SPN, and this is my own creation. Any errors are my own.

Military matters in this story are not intended to represent reality and I may have taken liberties with some aspects. I mean no disrespect to the miliary in any way. I tried to be as accurate as possible in most things.


Chapter 1

Sam stuffed the last of his clothes into his duffle and looked around the bedroom one more time. He sighed sadly wondering if he'd see it again. It had been his refuge and home for eighteen years and now he was leaving it all behind.

After Sam got a letter from Stanford that he had been awarded a full scholarship, he told his father and brother only to have his father accuse him of abandoning his family. John Winchester changed when his wife, Mary, was killed in revenge for him killing the son of a drug dealer. He had been a detective at the time and blamed himself for her death. Sam was ten and Dean was fourteen at the time of Mary's death.

After Mary's death, John became a bounty hunter and trained his sons to follow in his footsteps. His heart hardened as he started down the path of revenge. His eldest, Dean, took right to it and was even better than his father at the job. Sam, the youngest, wasn't that interested in the family business and staying in the shadow of his brother. No matter what Sam did, he couldn't meet his father's high standards and was looked at as a failure by his father. No matter what or how hard he tried, he couldn't be what his father wanted.

The only person who seemed to see the best in Sam was his mother and he mourned her when she was murdered. She urged Sam to follow his own path and dreams and praised him for his successes. After her death, Sam withdrew from the world and hardly spoke to anyone. What made it worse was John never noticed how her death affected his sons; he was too wrapped up in his own guilt and grief to realize that they might need counseling.

After a lot of yelling, strong language, and almost coming to blows, John had told Sam to leave and don't bother coming back. Sam was heartbroken by his harsh words and was doing just that, leaving. Dean wasn't there at the time and Sam had left him a letter saying goodbye. They had been close growing up but began to drift apart when Dean was in his teens.

Sam had called a taxi to take him to the airport to catch his flight to Palo Alto and then he'd make his way to Stanford University. Registration was starting in two days, and he needed to get his dorm assignment, register, and see a guidance counselor about what career path he was interested in. It wasn't long before the taxi pulled up and Sam slipped into the back and asked to be taken to the airport. With one final look at his home, Sam sat back in the seat and fought the tears that threatened to fall. He quickly wiped his eyes and stowed his feelings away determined to see the choice he made through.

Spn

The house was quiet when Dean let himself in and dropped the mail in the bowl in the hallway. Something didn't feel right and he frowned and walked slowly to the kitchen not finding anyone there. He listened intently but didn't hear anything but the settling of the house. That was strange since he knew Sam should have been home by now.

He headed upstairs to see if he was in his bedroom and paused in the doorway, giving the room a quick scan. He stepped into the room to look closer and realized there were things missing, personal things of his brother's. This puzzled and confused him so he headed to his room to change clothes before investigating further.

The envelope was lying on his pillow, and he recognized his brother's handwriting. Dean picked up the envelope looking at it for a moment, seeing his name on the front. He flipped it over so he could run a finger under the flap, hissing and swearing when he got a paper cut. He grabbed a tissue and wrapped the injured finger before pulling out the handwritten letter. After unfolding the letter, Dean began to read it:

'Dean,

I'm sorry I couldn't stay to tell you goodbye in person. Dad and I had another huge fight because I wanted to go to college. I just heard from Standford University and was awarded a full scholarship there. It's what I have dreamed of and now my dreams are coming true.

Dad was an ass and accused me of abandoning our family and told me don't bother coming back if I left. I can't give up this chance to go to college Dean. A full ride, bro…It's more than I could have ever asked for.

I'm not sure how you're going to take this news and I hope you won't be as closed-minded as Dad. I don't want to cut either of you out of my life and I hope Dad will come around some day. I will text you when I get settled and hope to hear back from you. If I don't, well, I'll know how you feel also.

I'm not abandoning the family by any means, I hope you know that. I need to find my own path and decide what I want to do with my life. I can't be your little brother forever and walk in your shadow. I have to spread my wings and learn to fly. I know that sounded corny and you're probably snickering at it or coming up with a snide comeback.

I love you big brother and hope you will stay in touch with me.

Sam'

Dean dropped down onto his bed in shock at what the letter said. He stared off into space as he processed everything. Sammy was gone. How did he not see this coming? Was he too wrapped up in his own life to notice the red flags with Sammy? He knew he could be secretive and learned how to keep things to himself at an early age. He leaned forward and rested his elbows on his knees and began to read the letter again.

"Damnit, Dad!" Dean snapped knowing how their father could fly off the handle in a heartbeat. He was sure he had written Sam off before now because he didn't want to continue in the family business but didn't think he would kick him out. Dean saw the changes in his father after their Mom had died and he tried to be there for him. He worked hard to be who his dad wanted him to be. Sometimes he wondered what his life would be like if he wasn't a carbon copy of his father.

He thought back over the years and felt guilty and blamed himself that Sammy and he had drifted apart. As he got older his likes began to change and he didn't have that much time for his brother. Nor did he want to be seen hanging around with him as much. His eyes filled with tears, but he blinked them away and wiped his hand across his face. At least Sammy said he would contact him after he settled. He would find out what dorm he was in and go visit him.

A door opened downstairs, and Dean looked out the door knowing it had to his dad. His face twitched in anger as he got up, dropping the letter on the bed, and headed down to confront him and demand an explanation from him. Sammy was still family, no matter what he decided to do, and family takes care of their own, not toss them out of the house like dirty laundry.