The past month was the first month in a long while that Raven felt had flown by as smoothly yet too quickly for its own good. Like the subtle hints of her environment indicating the end of spring, the days would have gone unnoticed by her had she not taken the time to breathe and be in the present.
After watching the flying ship carrying her latest batch of visitors fade out into the distant sky, she returned to her hut, taking a look at her color-coded weekly planner on the table. On the upcoming Saturday, she had telekinetically scribbled 'Clients from Azarath, 12PM', underneath the same text written for the week prior. After some additional notes for the next week, she grabbed her headphones and a book and played some music on full blast as she proceeded to read.
BEEP! BEEP! BEEP!
A stray strike of energy escaped from her hands to the table as she herself jumped back at the sudden blaring alarm from her communicator. That bit of energy knocked a few of the items off the table and on to the ground.
Raven answered while telekinetically picking those items up.
"Thanks for intruding on my peace and quiet, Cyborg," she answered with snark.
"Good to know your sarcasm's healing," replied Cyborg. "As you know, I'm in Jump City, and will be for sometime doing my part as best man - well, best half man half bot - for the upcoming wedding."
"Yep. Fully aware. You take every opportunity reminding people."
"Hey! It's an honor. Personally, a bigger honor than my own recent milestone. Anyway, this is serious. Unrelated to Rob and Star. It's Gar again."
Just as he mentioned the late shapeshifter, Raven had her tabletop framed photo of Gar suspended in midair. Inadvertently, she glanced at it before prompting Cyborg to elaborate.
"There's this dog - a khaki chihuahua - scampering around the city. The dog's name is Wingman G, or at least that's what it says on his leash. Any connection?"
"None that comes to mind."
"Attached to him was another one of Gar's letters. I believe he was tracking my scent even though the letter's addressed to you."
Raven was mildly surprised. "There hasn't been any letters for the past few months since Arella shared hers with me. Could the dog have been looking all along for you?"
"Except I seldom am in Jump City until recently? I wondered the same. But Raven, when the dog finally found me, a speeding truck zoomed by and, well..."
Raven gasped.
Cyborg continued, "I took him immediately to the Tower infirmary, did as much as I could to help the poor bud, and reported the truck driver to authorities."
"Say no more. I'll be there as soon as I can to help him."
Determined, Raven stood up straight, abandoning the items still on the ground to focus. She had not conjured astral teleportation states away on her own in a long while, but she might as well give it a go.
"Azarath Metrion Zinthos..."
Her avian shroud concealed her and took her away.
"Here you go. The pupper's in really dire shape, Rae. I did everything within my control as I wasn't gonna let that poor pup die under my watch. I believe you could help him too."
At the common room of Titans Tower, Raven took the sealed envelope from Cyborg.
"Good thing you were visiting the city."
Cyborg shrugged. "Thank the Justice League. This is my last bit of free time before I get thrown into the thick of it with the big shots."
Raven smiled. "Enjoy it while it lasts. Congratulations on making the Justice League, by the way. We always knew you would get it."
Cyborg smiled back. "I just needed my confidence back and my doubts to go away."
Taking her leave, Raven opened the envelope whilst walking to the infirmary.
The top center of the letter had Gar's cartoonish drawing of himself with a pair of angel wings.
"Wingman Gar," Raven uttered. "Wingman G."
And with that, she began reading.
"Hey Raven!
Hope you're healing well!
So, here's my favorite saying - and that's saying something cuz I don't do sayings. It's about dogs. They may be in just a small part of the life of their master - their human best friend. But to that lucky dog, that human best friend encapsulates their entire life."
Raven paused, for she had arrived at the infirmary and spotted the dog on the bed, laying there breathing unsteadily, connected to tubes to keep track of his vitals. An adorable dog, she found. But she found it difficult to look at him. With the stitches, bandages, and support, it was evident that Cyborg had done so much on his part to aid his recovery.
"That had to be a horrible accident, huh, little one?" she whispered. She mustered the will to look at him. His eyes were lazed open. His face had been wrapped in bandages. "Cyborg told me about your fractures. I will do my best, okay? Stay with us."
She placed the letter on the bed next to Wingman G, and her hands began to glow crystal blue, hovering over the chihuahua.
She continued with the letter.
"You're everything to me, Raven. Every. Amazing. Thing. And for a while, I'm sure I was everything to you. Maybe even up to now. But I am just one chapter of your life. I need you to close it.
When you're ready, we need you to remove all my stuff."
The heart rate monitor began beeping rapidly, matching her own heartbeat upon reading that latest sentence. She looked up at the dog, his little chest palpitating with urgency and struggle.
She channeled her entire focus on to him.
"I'm not giving up on you," she promised the dog. "You're still good... You're still good."
The hues of blue brightened up slightly from her palms on to the dog. There was a moment when she thought they had lost him, but he caught his breath, willing himself to live.
"You helped Gar and made sure I got the letter," she said. "You didn't give up. Neither will I."
And, steady beeps.
Raven heaved a sigh of relief. The dog had relaxed, breathing steadily again. With his much calmer demeanor, Raven resisted the urge to hold him and cradle him. She wanted to take him home. Perhaps once he has recovered.
Raven returned to the letter, being reminded that Gar had suggested she cleanse her life off him.
"When you're ready, we need you to remove all my stuff. You don't need them to remember me by. I never set out to be a superhero to be remembered. Well, not MAINLY to be remembered. I did it because it's the noble and right thing to do - I say as I plot this elaborate scavenger hunt to remain relevant!
I hope - I pray to Azar! - that you will once again have feelings for someone the way I feel for you, and the way you feel for me. But, for now, forever, and for you, my biggest wish is that, whenever you're down, in a rut, struggling, feeling powerless, helpless, worthless, loveless, or emotionless - that you remind yourself just how amazing you are.
Wish you all the Beast!" Raven noticed his drawing of himself in Werebeast form and herself with her raven shroud.
"Always be my baby (Gotcha! You know I had to slide that reference in one more time!)
Always by your side
Gar"
Raven heaved a sigh, processing the entirety of the letter.
And then she looked up at the dog, then at the location she was in.
She let a small laugh escape, shaking her head wistfully. "Of all the places for me to read this, I'm beginning to wonder that there may actually be someone watching over me."
Her mind drifted to a certain memory. Right there in the infirmary. At the beginning of it all...
Knock knock!
"Who's there?" Beast Boy's exhausted voice echoed from the room.
"Knock knock," Raven replied from outside the door, just as tired.
She could hear Beast Boy chuckle. "That's not how the joke is structured, Raven."
Raven allowed herself in, seeing Beast Boy on the bed, bandaged and bruised.
"Feeling better?" she asked.
Beast Boy's ears and nose quivered. He heard light rustling and sniffed roses, unusually tracing from behind Raven. He peered over and saw she was holding a bouquet of yellow roses behind her.
"Wow, Raven, is that for me? I mean, I know I saved the day but I didn't realize you're one with sweeping romantic gestures."
Despite noticing Gar's lighthearted sarcasm, Raven rolled her eyes and handed him the bouquet with a message that read 'Get well soon, Beast Boy'. It was noticeably in Raven's handwriting. Based on the blots of ink, it had been manually written as opposed to by magical force.
"Don't flatter yourself," she matched his quip. "It's from the entire team. They only nominated me to stay behind because this is Starfire's mission, and that means Robin wants to be involved, and they need Cyborg's technical know-how."
"And I know how much you dread spending one-on-one time with me specifically and that you dread being delegated babysitting duties - again."
"Mhm. Robin seems to need me to be a seasoned babysitter. I wonder why."
Silence befell them. The two continued looking at each other, processing the chat they had just had.
They both erupted in a few seconds of laughter.
"I'm constantly sarcastic even as you're recovering," she admitted. "Sorry about that. I really should work on it."
Beast Boy gave a look of incredulity, with a grin.
"You should know by now that I love you!"
Raven fell silent as Beast Boy chuckled on.
His laugh slowed down to a titter, then ended with a confused stare.
Raven asked, "You just said that you love me."
Beast Boy stammered. "Uh... What? I said that I love that about you."
Raven stammered as well, her cheeks flushing rosy red.
"Right... Maybe I misheard."
Silence once more.
Beast Boy sighed.
"Would you kill me, though?" he asked. "Let's say I did say that."
Raven raised her eyebrows and sat in front of him.
"... Depends. Why would you?"
Beast Boy sat upright, leaning forwards towards Raven.
"Because..." he started. "You're strong, and responsible, and caring. You helped me understand how to live with my beast. It's wonderful seeing you open up. And, as much as you love my jokes -"
"Debatable."
Beast Boy chuckled. "As much as you secretly love my jokes, I secretly love your comebacks. It's so fun that that's our thing and the others enjoy it, even if it seems to be at my expense. You know all I want is to get a laugh out of people. And, we've been friends long enough now that I know you would never say anything to actually hurt me."
Raven snorted. "How long would a hypothetical dating relationship between us last?"
Beast Boy looked unfazed, as if the answer should have been obvious.
"You don't think it would?"
Raven started withdrawing her gaze. "Not specifically with you. But in general, for me. You know more than anyone else how much I don't want to be alone despite my reserved mannerisms, but between duties and my fostered personality, I'd rather not risk ruining those existing relationships that I care about. You're part of that."
"You know I have my insecurities and flaws too. We all do... But, I can't help but actually wonder, what if..."
Beast Boy leaned more forward and grabbed her hands. Raven blushed furiously, and a stray energy left her heart and on to Beast Boy.
"Youch!"
Raven abruptly got up, accidentally hitting his injured leg.
Beast Boy winced with a high-pitched muffled squeal.
"My bad," Raven stammered. "You know what? I still have energy; let me heal you."
Raven got out of bed, helped Beast Boy lie back down, and eased his pain with her magic.
"Robin told me to rest, but this is fine," she assured.
Beast Boy winced. "That 'Get well soon' message will help me last, thanks. Nice handwriting, by the way."
Raven silently glanced up at the wincing shapeshifter. "Letters are my thing."
Beast Boy sighed. "Did I make it awkward between us?"
"No, no... We're good..."
Again, silence fell as Raven worked on healing the part of Beast Boy's knee and leg that she had inadvertently slapped. That meant two full minutes of silence.
Raven thought about it.
Then, she leaned forward, and kissed him.
At first, Beast Boy's arms reacted with a stiffened jolt, as if afraid to touch anything, as his eyes widened upon feeling Raven's lips on his. He looked at her. She had her eyes closed, composed as if reining in her powers.
She then carefully slid her hands around Beast Boy's face. He closed his eyes and welcomed the kiss.
Raven realized this might be one of their very rare opportunities that the two of them were alone together. She had never admitted it, but she realized her attraction for Beast Boy for awhile now. She had also sensed that Beast Boy might have held a degree of affection towards her as well, always chalking it up to 'generic genetic adolescent male - or animal - tendencies'. Caressing his green hair and locking lips, she surprised herself with her action.
Raven separated herself from him, getting up.
"I... uh... didn't think I'd do that..." she uttered. "Beast Boy?"
Laying in front of her, Beast Boy's body had entirely succumbed to the bed, his eyes replaced with pink hearts, and a halo of little cupids cartoonishly circling above his head. Mumbling in a lovesick tone, the changeling had sort of passed out due to the apparently overwhelming satisfaction.
Raven smiled to herself, somewhat flattered that there was someone that she had such affect on without the use of magic.
Guess we'll have some important matters to discuss once he comes to, she thought to herself as she exited the infirmary.
Raven looked down at the dog. She sensed that he was stabilizing, in part thanks to her.
She ceased her healing powers, and bowed down to give a little kiss on Wingman G's head.
"Get well soon, G," she whispered before exiting the infirmary, taking the letter with her.
At the door, she turned back around, looking around the infirmary, envisioning her and Gar on the bed, replaying that very moment. The moment they got together.
She gave a small smile, the letter radiating in her power.
"Thanks for everything, Gar." And with that, she telekinetically ripped the letter to bits and disintegrated it. "I love you always, but it's time to move on... And I'll be keeping the dog."
It had been a couple of weeks since Wingman G's recovery. Raven had returned to her sanctuary. Her hut had undergone a slight renovation.
Most notably, all mementos of Gar/Beast Boy had been disposed of. In place of the box of some of his stuff now lay a sleeping chihuahua.
Also notably, there was a camcorder set up on a tripod in the hut. The camcorder was connected to the laptop on the desk where the framed photo of Gar used to stand. On its screen, read 'Scheduled upload ready for user 'Azarath Metrion Zinthos'. Raven sat in front of the camera in a relaxed composure.
With her powers, she hit the record button, and began speaking to the camera.
"... Hey there." She gave a single wave. "It's me, Raven. You may know me as a Titan, or regretfully, as the one with the livestream incident... Sorry about that. Not my finest hour.
"Anyway, this will be my first vlog under my new account, 'Azarath Metrion Zinthos'. So, before I get to the substantial bits, please... uh... like and uh... subscribe."
She awkwardly gave a thumbs up before continuing.
"And... uh... As a Titan, I know I have a huge following and there are people who look up to me. But, I have to say this; I am far from perfect. I have flaws. I have insecurities. Losses. And the past year has been the hardest, lowest year of my life. And many times, it feels like my situation is different, considering my power set. It would, and it did, take a different kind of treatment, or therapy, to get through my grieving process. As hard as it was facing my demons, it turns out that it's much harder facing your angels."
She heaved a sigh, reflecting on the past year being under the numbing spell.
"But isn't everyone going through it differently? Even within my own circle of friends with different abilities, their process is unique. Some double down on blaming themselves. Some revert to their stoicism. Some doubt their own future. Some grab on even more tightly to the loved ones they have left.
"That's the beauty of individuals, isn't it? With powers or not. Because we all are in fact unique. That, in a way, allows us to go through it together.
"I'm no trained specialist, and sure as hell am still quite raw in my grief to provide an easing of others' psyche, but I am finding a way to contribute to the extent I can.
"That's where this channel comes in. Meditation tactics. Zen sessions. Breathing and calmness techniques. They may or may not help you, but I'll be sharing them in hopes that they do help as many people with troubles out there."
She reached within her cloak, and pulled out a rusty coin, holding it up to the camera.
"The old me would see this penny as a mere penny. And, literally, it's the truth. But I've been holding on to this penny because it means something to me. And I've held on to it because I couldn't let my loss go.
"I'm moving on. It's an everyday choice to move on. However, that doesn't have to mean those losses, those memories, go in vain.
"In its heyday, this penny would truly mean something priceless to me. And now, we can choose to make it mean something new and just as special. This penny will form an amount that will go towards funding to support hospitals, and research and developments into medical technology. Science and magic may not have saved Gar, but I want it to eventually save someone else, both dying or living. If you want to join me in this, the links for more information and where you can donate will be pinned in my channel description."
Raven set the penny down on the desk, then picked up a stack of papers.
"And... speaking of Gar... I have to address this, lastly..."
She waved the stack of papers in front of the camcorder.
"Gar, as it turns out, you really are crafty. I was wrong thinking otherwise. All these messages. Campy sign-offs. Animal messengers. You win."
She returned all but one of those messages to the desk, holding up the last one she'd received that she hadn't ripped apart.
"As hard as it has been admitting this, you are also right that you are just a small part of my life, as that quote on dogs says. However, there is another saying about dogs.
"They say that dogs are not our whole life... but they do make our lives whole."
She smiled, taking a quick glance at her sleeping Wingman G.
"You may feel lucky that I was your entirety, but I couldn't have felt my own entirety without you being a part of it. The Boy, the Beast, and the Best Friend. It's taken me a while to realize that, yes you're no longer here, but it doesn't have to be a permanent hole for me. What you've given me during your time - our time - has equipped me for the rest of my time.
"I am ready to close this chapter and open the next. And for that, I thank you..."
She sighed.
"Until we meet again... But for now, it's goodbye...
"Always be my BB," she said with a wink, getting up. "Signed, Raven."
And she ended the recording.
(A/N: This is the final chapter, but there is still the epilogue. I hope you have enjoyed this story as we live this new year, new chapter!)
