Hello everyone

And welcome to our brand new fic! This is the first time that we have written about Regulus Black!

I do hope you all will enjoy this fic as much as my and Madamkitten does! This fic would never had excited without her!

Trigger-warnings from now and please be aware of them, because we wont post them at every single chapter. This is a dark fic, with a lot of pain in it.

For now the trigger-warnings are as followed:

Torture, Death, Graphic descriptions of violence, Mature content!

Please don't read this story, if you aren't prepared for it.

We don't own Harry Potter or the characters. We write in our spare time as often as we can!

Please leave a review behind, even a small short one will make our days! And we would love to hear your thoughts about our newest fic!

That doesn't mean the other fics has been abandoned, don't worry, we will see all our fics through!

Ben Barnes is our face cast for Regulus Arcturus Black

Leave a review! and enjoy!

Love from Kalilje and Madamkitten

Chapter 1.

Year 1979

Regulus Black was standing outside the cave, with Kreacher, his trusted house elf, at his side.

He had managed to find out about the Dark Lords secret, and he knew he would do anything possible to get rid of the Horcrux. He absolutely had to destroy it. He shuddered at the thought. Regulus couldn't imagine the evil that had possessed the Dark Lord to create such a foul thing in the first place. To put a piece of your soul in an object. It was horrendous, and unnatural. Regulus had killed and ripped his soul, but he would never create such a horrible thing. It wasn't right, and it shouldn't exist.

"Master Regulus, we must go back, this place is dark." Kreacher said and pulled as he pulled on Regulus's robes. Regulus knew why Kreacher was reluctant to go back here, he could feel the evil lurking as well.

"We can't Kreacher, we need to do this. I promise you that you will not be harmed, trust me. We must do this." Regulus vowed.

"Kreacher trust master Regulus." the little elf said.

Regulus smiled, it was partly because of Kreacher that they stood outside the cave today.

When the Dark Lord had approached Regulus asking for his elf, Regulus had agreed. He knew that no matter what he had said or done, Voldemort would have gotten to his elf. What Voldemort wanted, Voldemort got. There was no use in questioning or refusing an order. However, Regulus wasn't happy to lend his elf out. When the Dark Lord had come back, without his elf, he had been worried that his elf had been killed. But luckily, Kreacher had been able to use his elf-magic to get away from the cave. However, he was seriously injured. He had just been left to die in the cave. The Dark Lord has expected the elf to die. Regulus had been mad, and this had been his reason for leaving the death eaters.

Regulus had healed the elf, stayed up all night watching over him, and he had vowed to avenge him. When Kreacher had told about the incident in the cave, and what the Dark Lord had hidden, Regulus quickly realised that the Dark Lord had created a Horcrux. So he created a duplicate of the locket, and placed a note inside. Now he just had to switch the locket out. He knew that he was most likely going to die, but if he could help bring down the Dark Lord, by destroying his locket, he would do it, with no second thoughts.

Regulus and Kreacher came to the cave entrance, and Regulus could feel all the dark magic that was seeping out of this place. He had felt that magic around him many times, so he knew that it was Voldemort's magic. It was vile and oppressive, and wrong.

"You need blood master Regulus to come inside." Kreacher mumbled. Regulus looked down at the small elf, he took out his wand, and cut inside his hand. Smearing the blood on the stony mountain cave, he watched as the entrance revealed itself.

Regulus was terrified of what he would find inside. He would happily have been any other place than here, but he had to do it. So he forced himself to go inside, looking around the hollow mountain cave. He could still hear the ocean's wrath beating on the rocks outside, but the water inside the cave was eerily silent. He waved his wand, lighting up the cave. The small point of light came to rest on top of a small island, not too far away from where he stood.

"There master," Kreacher whispered, pointing his long, bony finger at the small island, "the locket is out there".

Regulus looked around, before he walked the few steps down to the water, making sure not to disturb it too much. If what Kreacher had said was real, then he knew the water would be full of the inferi, and he knew that no matter what he did, he would end up dying fighting them.

"Stay there Kreacher, until I tell you to move. I'll see if I can find a way to bring us safely over the lake." Regulus ordered and went down to the water. Kreacher had told him that there would be an invisible chain that would be hooked up to a boat that they could use to safely cross the lake. Only a powerful witch or wizard would be able to pull the boat up out of the water. It didn't take long for Regulus to find the chain, it was right where Kreacher had said it would be. He used his magic to pull at the chain and watched as a small boat appeared from the water. Regulus hoped it wouldn't disturb the water and awaken the inferi, but when none appeared from the water, he ordered Kreacher down to him, and they took the small boat to the island.

He pulled the boat up on the island side, before he went to look inside the small bassin in the center of the island. Regulus knew it was dark magic that was around the locket. He could feel it, it was almost suffocating. Regulus was watching the Emerald Potion, also known as the potion of despair, swirl around in the bowl.

"Master, let Kreacher drink the potion, Kreacher survived it once before." Kreacher offered.

There was no way to vanish or transform the Emerald potion inside the bassin. Kreacher had told him that he had been forced to drink it, and Regulus knew that there was no way around it. Someone had to drink it.

"I won't let you drink it, you are going to hand the potion to me, and force me to drink it. No matter what I ask of you, no matter what I order you to do, you are going to look past that. I am ordering you to make me drink it, no matter what I say or do! Do you understand? You must force me to drink all of it! " Regulus ordered as he put his wand back inside his robe.

"Yes Master Regulus," Kreacher agreed. The elf took the small shell inside, and scooped the potion up, going over to his master with the potion.

"You have been a good elf, and a good friend Kreacher." Regulus smiled as he drank the potion.

As soon as the potion touched his lips, he felt his inside burn. It felt almost like the cruciatus curse, but so much worse. Regulus fell to his knees, clutching at his throat, trying to get the fire out, to stop the burning. Kreacher came with another shell full of the potion, and Regulus forced his mind and body to drink it. This time he screamed, seeing all kinds of horrors in his head.

"Drink master, drink!" Kreacher cried, forcing the potion inside Regulus mouth.

"No, I order you to stop! Stop, Kreacher, stop!" Regulus cried, his body was on fire, his mind was burning, everywhere it burned and the pain was all consuming.

"No master, drink, you is almost finished." Kreacher said as he poured the potion inside Regulus' mouth.

"KILL ME, Kreacher, please, kill me!" Regulus cried, he could feel the tears on his cheeks. This hurt like nothing he had ever experienced before. He fell to his knees, feeling his body weakening with each passing second. Regulus couldn't think, the only thing he thought about death. To be able to end this pain. He felt like he was near a dementor, sucking out his will to live, his happy memories, leaving only the horrors behind. He screamed as Kreacher poured and poured more of the Emerald potion into him.

"No more, Kreacher, no more, I can't… I… can't… kill… kill… me… please Kreacher. Please…" Regulus begged, as he felt his power disappear from his body. He felt so weak, so helpless.

"Master Regulus, this is the last, drink it, drink it master." Kreacher said as he quickly helped his master drink the last of the potion, helping him to sit up. Regulus felt like he could sleep forever.

"Kreacher, the locket, take it." Regulus rasped, feeling incredibly thirsty, wishing so badly for water to sooth his burning throat. He held out the fake locket.

Kreacher took the fake locket from Regulus' hands, letting it drop in the stone basin and took the real one.

"Here Master." Kreacher cried as he gave Regulus the locket, Salazar Slytherin's Locket. It felt so heavy in Regulus' hands.

"Go, I order you to go, find a way to destroy the locket, do not tell anyone about this, leave me." Regulus ordered as he handed the locket back to his elf, he could feel his life power, slowly draining.

"No, Master Regulus, no!" Kreacher cried, pulling at his ears.

"Do it!" Regulus ordered. He looked at Kreacher one last time, before the elf disappeared with the locket.

Regulus tried to stand a few minutes after the elf had disappeared, but he couldn't. His legs felt like jelly, so he started to drag himself down to the lake to get some water. He was so thirsty, he just wanted water, something to cool down his throat and body, which still felt like it was on fire. He finally managed to drag himself down to the lake, and put his mouth down to drink. It felt heavenly against his throat, and he almost sighed when he came up for air. When a pale white skeleton hand and head came out of the water, screaming at Regulus, pulling at his arms. Regulus used his wandless magic to push the inferi back, but more and more came. They were climbing the rock, trying to get to him. He pushed and pushed with his magic, but he knew he wouldn't survive. Regulus was suddenly afraid. He had never seen the inferi, but seeing them now would give him nightmares for a long time. They were biting and clawing at him, pulling at him, dragging him under water. It hurt like hell when they broke Regulus' skin, he could feel the blood pouring from his body, down into the water. He tried kicking at them, but more and more came and pulled at him. Soon he was almost underwater. Regulus took a deep breath, knowing that this was it. This was how he would die. He could feel his heart slowing down, while the inferi dragged him down toward the bottom of the lake. He tried pushing with his hands to get to the top, to get to the air. But as he felt himself being pulled underwater, he gave up.

In the last second, before losing consciousness he tried channeling all of his magic, to push himself into the air and onto solid ground. He didn't know if it would help, but he had to try.

With his last breath, he pushed his wandless magic to it's limit. He felt the inferi letting him go, and the rush he got when he flew out of the water, landing on the hard stony ground, on the other side of the island.

He coughed, trying to get the water out of his lungs. Regulus was trying hard not to lose consciousness, he had to stay alert. He took a deep breath and then again and again. When he felt he was going to be okay, he crawled away from the water, where the inferi had started to crawl towards him again. He could see blood covering his robes, knowing he wouldn't be able to fight them off. When the inferi nearest to him stopped, Regulus looked on. It was hideous and would surely give him nightmares for many years. He didn't know what made the inferi stop, but then all the sudden, he could feel him. The Dark Lord. He was here. Regulus was fucked.

Regulus tried to stand, but fell, he knew he should try to get away, and started crawling towards the entrance, as quickly as he could. He was almost there, when a foot in front of him made him stop. He barely had the courage to look up into the eyes of the Dark Lord.

"Crucio!" Voldemort yelled, and Regulus screamed as the curse hit him. His body crashed to the ground as the violent waves of pain began to take over his body.

"So, you are the one who discovered my little secret, who did you tell?!" Voldemort hissed.

"No…No one…" Regulus stammered as he gasped for air.

"Liar! Crucio!" Voldemort yelled.

Regulus screamed, his body was on fire again, he felt so weak, wishing that the dark lord would just finish him off. Use the killing curse, stop this hell.

The dark lord kept on torturing him, cutting Regulus, hitting him with the cruciatus curse. Regulus thought he would go mad, he felt like his sanity had left him.

"Kill me!" Regulus screamed and cried. Voldemort lifted the curse, looking down at him.

"What did you say?" Voldemort whispered, kicking him in the side, making Regulus groan in pain.

"Please, kill me…" Regulus begged, which made Voldemort laugh out loud.

"You are asking me to kill you? Out of mercy? After what you have done? You have disappointed me, Regulus." Voldemort asked, clearly amused.

"Yes, Kill me… Please…" Regulus begged, hoping to put an end to his misery.

"Hmm, I think not. I have a much better idea. Now since you have put up so much effort to get into the cave, I think I will allow you the honor of staying here a bit longer. I'll give you the pleasure of forever guarding my souls. You will never be able to leave. You will forever guard my souls, live in misery and pain. Whenever my Horcruxes are threatened, you will be there to guard it as best as you can. For now, you will remain here, you may play a little more with the inferi, it is after all, not often they get someone to play with. When a piece of my soul is being threatened, you will feel it and you'll be sent there to guard it. And don't bother thinking about taking your own life, you won't be able to. You are forever bound to guard my horcruxes. And just to be sure that no one would be able to assist you, I'll make sure your form blends in nicely to your surroundings. We wouldn't want anyone to recognize you after all. Don't worry, I'll hold onto your wand for you as well, since you surely won't be needing it any longer." Voldemort laughed, flicking his wand at Regulus and catching Regulus' wand in his hands.

Regulus could feel the dark magic slipping inside his crumbled and pained body. The vile, dark magic wrapped around him, almost suffocating him.

"I'll bid you many years of torture and pain!" Voldemort laughed as he apparated away. The inferi started to pull themselves out of the water towards him again, and Regulus got up at his feet, stumbling and crawling towards the entrance to the cave. He tried to push and pulled desperately, but with no luck. The inferi pulled at him, clawing and biting his flesh, he screamed, trying to get out. The last of the light disappeared , leaving the young wizard in the darkness, screaming.

Year 1991

Hermoine Granger

Hermione was sitting in the library, crying her eyes out. She really thought that this would be different. She was surrounded by people just like her. Magical people. She wasn't the weird one, the freak. She really thought that when she came here she would have at least one friend. Just one! Was that too much to ask for? Ever since Professor McGonagall had come by her house telling her that she was a witch and telling her about Hogwarts, she had been thrilled. She just knew that going to a school, with others like herself, she would be able to make some friends. She had always been on her own. No one ever wanted to play with her, or study with her. Hermione had always felt like an outsider. She was so positive that it would change when she got here. But of course, that was not what happened. Everyone made fun of her. She was a muggleborn with bushy, mousy brown hair and huge teeth. Everyone made fun of her. Even her own housemates. She liked to read and be at the top of the class, but everyone teased her about that too, calling her a "know-it-all".

Hermione just wished that she could go home. She missed her parents and her own room, which she didn't have to share with anyone. The other girl's in her room always made fun of her hair, every single morning they would laugh, call it a rat nest or a bird's nest. Hermione cried and sobbed. When she reached for a tissue to dry her eyes, she noticed a black rat sitting there next to the tissues, looking at her with strange eyes. She couldn't help but stare, it had clear, grey eyes. She never really liked rats, but there was something strange about this one. She dried her eyes, looking down at the rat. It cocked its head to the side, looking strangely at her. The eyes felt like they were trying to penetrate her soul. This surely had to be someone's pet, a magical rat.

"Hello little friend, where is your owner? You shouldn't run freely around, there are cats all over the castle. One of them may decide to have you for their dinner." Hermione whispered, letting her head fall down so she was at eye level with the rat. She was lying flat on her stomach beside the window. If people saw her now, she would never hear the end of it. Talking with a rat. What was she thinking? She held out her hand towards it.

The rat came close to her hand, and sniffed at it. She was able to touch it's little black head, and was surprised over how soft it was.

"You are quite cute, do you know that?" she chuckled, as the rat began to sniff at her hand, putting it's small paws in her palm.

She was petting it for a bit until she noticed the time.

"I have to go, dinner is being served shortly, watch out for yourself little one!" she said as she quickly packed her things and ran to the great hall. Leaving the rat behind.

Regulus

Regulus hated this. At this point he wished for death. Everytime he would go for water in the cave, the inferi came. The pain never ended. His body was filled with scars, his will to live was nowhere to be found. Everytime he thought that this would surely be it, that this was the end, he was cheated. Death wouldn't come for him. Even when the Dark Lord fell, he thought now he would finally be free. But he wasn't. He would forever be bound to guard the dark wizard's horcruxes, it was a nightmare. Everytime a student entered the "come and go room" he would magically transport to Hogwarts as a fucking black rat. Every time, his bones would break, his organs would shift. The transformation was brutal and violent. How would he ever be able to guard that blasted horcrux as a rat? He had always loved it at the castle, it had been his home. His refuge. But now, it felt more like a prison, more than once, he had to run for his life from Mrs. Norris. He had also been bitten multiple times. He had lost count. A stupid, fucking rat!

However, Regulus was for now, free to roam the castle. The young students in the come and go room had left. Until the next time someone would enter the room, then he would be forced to go there. But for now he would at least be able to get some rest, have a good meal. With any luck he would be able to heal some of his recent injuries before this blasted curse whisked him away again. He had tried so many times to fight the curse, but no matter how hard he tried, he was forced to go wherever the curse demanded. Forced to watch over the students as they used the magical room for any number of reasons.

Sometimes Regulus wished he had never been born, never been a wizard, neven been a death eater. If he could go back in time, he would make better choices, do things differently. Maybe he would have had a wife, and kids, and everything would have been perfect. But that wasn't in the cards for him. He was forced to be in pain, no matter which horcrux he would guard.

Regulus was sniffing around, trying to find something to eat. Usually he would go down to the kitchens or head up to the great hall and hope someone would drop a few crumbs, but usually students would sneak food into the library and given how messy they all were, he could usually find a snack. He stopped and looked at all the books in the library, oh how he wished he could open one and just read. He would even read about divination, so desperate was he.

Regulus' body twisted and he sniffed as he looked around. He could smell something and hear someone sobbing. He followed the wall, trying to hide. He knew that the cats from the Ravenclaw tower loved to come down here, and the last thing he needed was to be captured and played with by a cat. Last time a cat had captured him, he had a whole in his stomach for weeks, making him even more slow then he usually was. And when someone came near the cave, he was back with the inferi again. That transformation had been particularly difficult for him and he had collapsed close enough to that blasted lake to touch the water, waking the infiri. They had hurt him so badly, getting to safety was far more difficult than normal, and he had laid there for days, unable to move. The pain was unbearable.

Regulus came to a window, and saw a little witch with soft, bushy brown hair sitting there, crying her eyes out. She couldn't be more than a first year he thought. Something about her crying made his heart clench. She was not supposed to cry, she was a witch! She was sitting in a window in the library at Hogwarts, she should be happy.

He didn't know why he did what he did. He wasn't sure why he climbed on to the window seat beside the girl. He couldn't help it, he just sat beside her and watched. Her brown eyes soon caught his. There was just something about her that made Regulus want to comfort her. As she looked down at him, he was almost afraid she would scream, or toss a book at him, it had happened multiple times over the years. The big books always hurt like shit when they hit him in the head, and he would end up with a headache for what felt like ages. He just wished he could be a human again, just for a small amount of time, just to take some potions, to help him heal his body, help him with the pain.

"Hello little friend, where is your owner? You shouldn't run freely around, there are cats all over the castle. One of them may decide to have you for their dinner." the girl whispered and looked at him. Ha, if she only knew that I was a death eater, she would never call me a friend, Regulus thought bitterly. He looked as she laid down on the stomach, looking at him at eye level. Oh how long had it been since the last time someone looked at him, like really looked at him. He couldn't remember, most of the time, he thought he was finally going crazy. She held out her hand towards him, and he slowly moved over to sniff at it. She smelled like honey, Regulus thought, looking at her. When she patted his head, he thought he was going to die. How long had it been since the last time a human had touched him? It was always the inferi touching him, but that could barely be considered touching, they were always clawing and biting him. This little witch touched his head, and made his heart warm up. The pain in his body was gone, it was now a warm and fuzzy feeling.

"You are quite cute, do you know that?" she chuckled, as he began to sniff at her hand, putting his small paws in her palm. He wanted, no needed, to be close, to get more of that warm feeling in his body. He wanted to crawl into a ball, and just go to sleep in her hands! It had been years since he had been touched with kindness and he enjoyed the feeling of her skin on his. She petted him for a bit and he enjoyed every second of it. He saw that she was a Gryffindor, and he put that information away for when the need to be touched came over him next time, then he could go to the Gryffindor tower, maybe seek her out.

"I have to go, the dinner is being served shortly, watch out for yourself little one." she said as she quickly packed her things and ran from the library. Leaving him behind.

He suddenly felt the need to go to the come and go room again, Regulus sighed, he would never get used to it. At least this time his body didn't need to morph into anything, that was by far one of the worst parts of this blasted curse.

Regulus ran from the library towards the room of requirement. After he went inside, he saw how it had transformed into a huge bedroom, complete with a fire in the fireplace. He climbed on top of a dresser, sitting and looking at the couple locked together in a passionate embrace. A Slytherin and a Hufflepuff, well, they were easy to get to. He had a few of his own when he had been at Hogwarts. Regulus was disgusted with himself, watching the students behaving like this. But oh how he wished it was him; his hair being pulled, his body being touched.

They just started pulling at their clothes, when he felt the pull once again. This time he was pulled from Hogwarts, through space and time, and then the pain began all over again. As he felt his bones begin to shatter and lengthen, rearrange and shift to a much larger shape, he knew exactly where he had been pulled. He was deep underground, in the deepest part Gringotts. In one of these vaults, Voldemort had hidden yet another one of those foul horcruxes and had cursed him to become the Ukrainian Ironbelly. The dragon was there to guard the oldest and deepest vaults at Gringotts bank. As soon as he was inside the body of the dragon, he heard the Clankers, he knew that was his cue to move out of the way and try to hide. He vividly remembered the pain from when he had tried clawing at the goblins, trying to break free. They had tortured him, chained him so hard that it broke his skin, and ensured he couldn't move. The noise from the Clankers was the worst. He could always hear them, no matter where he was, even when he was in the cave or at Hogwarts. He could always hear them. He roared, but slowly withdrew himself, as he saw Lucius Malfoy come walking in, with his damn silver cane in his hands.

"Those blasted idiots from the Ministry! Searching my vault and home again, I have to get rid of this!" Lucius mumbled angrily at himself, as he emerged with the Diary of Tom Marvolo Riddle. Lucius didn't know what he had in his hands, for that, Regulus was sure. If he had known that it was a horcrux, then he would never have taken it out of the vault. Angrily Lucius took out his wand, sending curses at Regulus. Regulus groaned in pain, especially when the blasted goblin started to use the Clankers again. Lucius kept letting his anger out on the dragon, all the while Regulus pulled more and more into himself, trying to block out the pain and the sounds.