"Brumous"
"Chapter Fifty-One: The Pink Motorbike"
Sirius sighed, wrapping a towel around his waist as he stepped out of the shower. His muscles tensed as the air hit his skin and a shiver ran up his spine. Leaving a wake of wet footprints on the tiled floor, Sirius made his way into his bedroom. His fingers carded through his damp hair, slicking it back out of his face. Out of the corner of his eye, he caught sight of his reflection in the mirror above his dresser. Turning, he stepped closer.
With his jaw clenched, Sirius pressed his palms into the top of the dresser as he stared at his reflection in the mirror. He looked extraordinarily normal, a glimmer of the man he had been sixteen years ago before everything had gone to hell. Not surprisingly, he looked eerily similar to his Uncle Alphard. He couldn't help but think about how he had looked up at his uncle with hopeful eyes to fix everything that was wrong. His uncle had tried. Merlin, had he fucking tried. But he had failed. And Uncle Alphard wasn't there to attempt to fix anything anymore. In fact, no one was left to fix anything. It was only Sirius. He was the one to receive the hopeful eyes, the one expected to fix everything. Except Sirius didn't know how to fix shit.
He hung his head, unable to look at his reflection for any longer. His hair hung down limply in thick strands. Droplets fell from his dark locks onto the wood. Drip. Drip. Drip. Sirius let out a shuddering breath, watching as the droplets pooled into a small puddle. Once upon a time, the water dripped through the cracks in his cell in Azkaban. He had always been freezing, the air constantly damp.
"Get up," James' voice echoed in his head, words that had banged around in his head for twelve years. "Get up, Sirius. You promised me."
Sirius screwed his eyes shut. He held his breath as he tried to block out James' voice. There were times when Sirius wondered if not all of the ghostly visits from James in Azkaban had all been his guilty conscious. Sometimes, he wondered if it had actually been James. The real James because Sirius had slipped through the cracks. That made him feel worse, knowing James had been right there and Sirius had only deemed himself mad. Letting out a shuddering breath, Sirius looked up at his reflection again. He stilled upon seeing Harry standing behind him frowning.
"What's wrong, Harry?" Sirius asked, trying to keep his voice even as he rose to his full height and turned around. "Is it your–"
Sirius stopped talking. Harry wasn't there. Sirius' heart dropped to the floor. Whipping around to look at the mirror again, nobody was there except for himself looking extraordinarily pale. He couldn't decide if he was just seeing things or if… Sirius swallowed, his hands pressing against his bare skin in a frantic attempt to find Fluffernoodle. But it made sense the snake wasn't coiled around him like he normally was. The damn snake not being on him caused him to panic. That unnerved him more than he was willing to admit. Whipping around, Sirius' eyes flickered frantically around his bedroom but Fluffernoodle was nowhere to be found.
Without thinking, Sirius darted into the loo where his pajama bottoms laid on the floor. Bending down, he searched through the pockets and came up empty. His heart thumped against his ribcage as he eased off the floor. A flicker of green caught the corner of his eye and he snapped his attention to the window. Fluffernoodle pressed his little body against the pane of glass. Sirius made his way across the loo to scoop up his little snake. Fluffernoodle wrapped around his palm but his head jutted out towards the window. Sirius peered out to see a little black and red snake with a white strip down its back hanging from a tree limb. He had never seen a snake that color before. Fluffernoodle seemed to want to go to the snake, his little head pressing against the glass.
"Come on, leave it be, Fluff," Sirius murmured, trying not to clutch the snake too tightly. "Probably poisonous."
After getting dressed for the day and plopping Fluffernoodle into his pocket, Sirius made his way downstairs where he knew the boys were. Andromeda and Ted had probably already arrived to decorate gingerbread houses. Apparently, it was a Tonks family tradition to decorate them every year. Sirius thought it was a bit lame, but Harry and Cepheus seemed excited when Andromeda asked them about it on the mirror the previous night. Remus and Dora were going to join them as well.
When he entered the kitchen, he saw Harry helping Andromeda pour all the sweets into little bowls. Ted and Cepheus arranged the pieces of gingerbread at stations around the table. It was then that Sirius noticed they all had on matching white aprons with gingerbread houses stamped on the front of them with the words Gingerbread Competition 1996 above the house and then their individual names below the house. Sirius' face pulled when he noticed three more aprons draped over a chair. The one on top gleamed his name in bright green.
"Grab your apron and a station, Sirius," Andromeda directed, flicking her wrist so that the bowls floated to the center of the table.
"Do I have to?" Sirius inquired, making his way over to the table.
"Yes, tradition dictates that everyone wears an apron and the winner gets their apron altered to show as such," Ted said cheerfully as he looked up from stocking the stations.
Harry turned around, pushing his glasses up. "It'll be fun," he reasoned, his big green eyes staring at Sirius.
Sucking in a breath, because he couldn't bloody well say no to his godson, he grabbed the apron off the back of the chair and put it on. Wrapping the strap around his waist, he tied it before claiming a station. A lopsided grin crossed Harry's face as he situated himself at the station next to Sirius.
It wasn't long before Remus and Dora came barreling into the kitchen. Or, at least, Dora came barreling into the kitchen. She had her own icing bags filled with pink and purple tinted icing and even more sweets. Honestly, all the sweets made Sirius want to vomit just looking at them. Dora grabbed her apron before charming it pink and taking a spot next to Ted. Remus, meanwhile, looked just as thrilled as Sirius did.
Andromeda took the spot on Sirius' other side. "Do you need some help?" she asked in a quiet tone as she grabbed one of the piping bags and held it expertly in her hands.
"No," Sirius replied, picking up his bag and looking across the table at Ted to see how he was doing it.
"I used to make gingerbread houses with my grandmother every year when I was a kid," Ted explained, not looking at anyone as he ran a line of icing along the edge of what Sirius assumed was a wall. "She died when I was seventeen, the year Andy and I started dating. The very next Christmas, we did the tradition together. Have ever since. Dora decided to make it a competition. We anonymously vote on our favorite one. You're not allowed to vote for yourself."
Sirius watched how Ted held the bag, wanting to impress Harry and Cepheus. He may not be able to cook but he could decorate a damn house with some sweets.
"Seems like there will actually be competition this year!" Dora said in an excited tone. "Four more people than normal have joined in on the fun!"
"My money is on Harry or Cepheus," Andromeda commented as she held two walls of gingerbread together. "Their tarts were divine!"
Sirius bit his bottom lip as he tried to pipe a straight and even line of icing along the edge of a slab of gingerbread. Except, the line was anything but straight and the icing wasn't a consistent width. An air bubble splattered out a huge glob of icing. Sirius frowned, the fingers of his right hand wrapping around his left wrist to attempt to steady his hand. He refused to be bested by a bloody bag of icing.
Andromeda leaned in close. "Are you all right?" she whispered, still pressing her walls together.
"I'm fine," Sirius bit out, instantly more annoyed than he should have been.
"Why are your hands shaking?" Andromeda pressed. "Has that been going on for a while?"
Sirius pressed his molars together. "Can we not?"
"Does Ted know you have tremors?" Andromeda pressed, luckily keeping her voice low enough so the boys couldn't overhear.
"It's nothing," Sirius snapped, believing that to be the case. He probably just had one too many cups of coffee. That or perhaps a remanent from his years of alcohol abuse.
Andromeda shot him a dismayed look, but she didn't press him further. Sirius bit his bottom lip as he pressed two walls together, trying to keep them from sliding as the icing hardened. He glanced over at Harry to see he was already working on his ruddy roof. His gaze shifted around the table, a smirk crossing his face when he saw Remus struggling just as damn much as he was.
Any desire to make the best gingerbread house he could waned after about a half hour. He started pressing sweets to the icing in a haphazard manner, just trying to get a spot of color on it so that it appeared like he was still engaged. Still, he was the first one done. He carefully sat his gingerbread house on the counter before he cleaned up his station, listening as everyone chatted excitedly about Remus and Dora's upcoming wedding.
"The Saturday after Easter," Dora announced. "April sixth. So, Sirius, you'll have to take the boys back Monday morning to school since they'll miss the train."
Sirius glanced over at his baby cousin. "Yeah, that's fine. They weren't riding the train anyway."
Harry rolled his eyes but kept his mouth shut.
"The Weasleys are all invited as well," Dora announced, looking at Harry with a grin. "So, your girlfriend will be there."
Harry sucked in a breath, peering at Dora over the tops of his glasses. "Thanks, Tonks."
"If there's someone you want to bring, Cepheus, just let us know ahead of time and we can see if we can clear them to come," Dora added.
Sirius didn't think that was a good idea, but it wasn't his fucking wedding.
"Erm, there's not really anyone," Cepheus replied. "I just know Ginny's friends, really."
"Oh, well, Demelza is going to be invited!" Dora exclaimed.
Sirius froze. That meant Tegan would be there as well. Sirius needed to break up with her sooner rather than later, give them time not to be bloody awkward at some romantic wedding. He knew he'd have to talk to her after the kids went back to school.
"We're going to be inviting all of the Order," Remus said, his gaze flickering over to Sirius. "So, Marlene will be there, Harry."
Sirius tried to keep his face neutral. Of course, how bloody perfect. Two of his ex-girlfriends were going to be at the same wedding. What a time to attempt to be sober.
"Fleur is going to be my chief bridesmaid," Dora announced. "So, Sirius, no sleeping with her. I think Bill would bloody well curse you. You know he knows his stuff."
Sirius shot Dora an annoyed look. Bill or no Bill, Veela wasn't really his type. Besides, he didn't fucking sleep around. He had no idea where that reputation had even come from. But people had assumed that about him at Hogwarts as well. Not that he did anything to dispel the rumors. Especially because he was caught snogging girls quite a few times over the years.
"I didn't know you and Fleur were close," Harry blurted out.
Dora shrugged. "We got to know each other in the past year. She's really funny and kind once you get to know her," she explained as she plopped down a candy cane fence around her gingerbread house. "I thought I'd ask Ginny to bridesmaid as well, that way you had someone your own age opposite of you, Harry."
"You don't have to do that," Harry said, his brow furrowing. "It's your wedding!"
"Ginny's a riot too," Dora reasoned. "I really do like her. I think you two would have fun together doing all the stuff together before the wedding. That's what Remus and I want, really. Everyone to have fun and to celebrate love and family and just have a really fun night where nobody thinks about the war."
Sirius wiped his hands on his apron. "Where are you having it?"
"Don't you worry about that, Sirius," Dora replied with a grin.
"Oh, no, I will worry about it because you want my two boys there and I need to know it'll be safe and secure," Sirius pressed, crossing his arms over his chest. "I'd like to be involved in ensuring the venue is secure. I'm best man after all."'
"Well, I don't want you involved," Dora insisted.
"That's fucking bollocks!" Sirius exclaimed, his face pulling. "Why the fuck would you not want me involved?"
"Oh, you're right, Sirius, you're a ball of romantic sunshine," Dora said in a sarcastic voice. "Let's bring you along for your expert opinion."
Sirius scowled.
"Why don't you worry about Remus' stag night, hmm?" Dora insisted, her pink eyebrows raising.
"No, I don't want a stag night," Remus said, his head shaking. "Merlin, no. I remember James' stag night. I have enough unsavory memories from that night to last me a bloody lifetime."
Sirius rolled his eyes. "You enjoyed yourself."
"We were bloody well arrested by the Muggle police!" Remus exclaimed, his eyes growing wide. "You and James were drunk enough to try to escape the cell. What were the names you gave? Ader Tittsoff and Ben Derhover, wasn't it?"
Sirius glared at Remus, his lips snarling back. "Could you fucking not? Harry and Cepheus are right fucking here!"
"Who was Ader Titsoff?" Dora asked, amusement lacing her words. "I bet it was you, Sirius."
Sirius was not amused. Nothing screamed responsible guardian quite like stories that involved his young arsehole self. He glanced over at Harry to see him staring at his gingerbread house and not looking at any of them.
"Merlin," Andromeda breathed under her breath.
"Why the bloody hell were you arrested anyway?" Dora asked, obviously not catching the hint that Sirius didn't want to fucking talk about any of this shit in front of his kids.
Sirius frowned.
"Public urination and intoxication," Remus supplied. "Nothing terrible."
Harry pushed his glasses up with his hand, his fingers scrubbing his eye.
"All right! All right!" Ted exclaimed, clapping his hands together. "I'm finished so I'll charm the parchment for the secret ballot! Five minutes to finish up your houses, yeah?"
Sirius sucked in a breath, propping his hands on his hips as he glared over at Remus and Dora. He couldn't help but wonder if murder was an acceptable punishment for being fucking pillocks.
Harry carried his gingerbread house over to the counter and sat his next to Sirius' before he washed his hands. Sirius felt the need to say something to Harry, but he didn't know where to even begin. Harry already had a hard time with James' reputation when he was younger. Hearing about how your godfather and father were drunken idiots and arrested by the Muggle police probably wasn't a good image to have in one's head.
"We were nineteen," Sirius said in a gruff voice. "And, well, alcohol."
Harry looked up at him, his eyebrows raising. "I'm not stupid. I know you and my dad drank and did drugs."
Sirius' brow furrowed. "Excuse me?"
Harry's mouth gaped, as though he said something before he thought it through. "Well, err, I mean, I've… you know."
"No, I really don't know," Sirius replied, wondering who the fuck had told Harry stories about him and James as dumb kids. "Who has been telling you stories about James and me?"
Harry winced. "Well, it was only one memory and I think she regretted it after she showed me."
She.
Sirius' eyes fluttered closed. "Marlene?" he asked in a low voice.
"Don't be upset with her," Harry said in a rush. "She said she remembered you and my dad being funny. And, I guess you two were. But she forgot about the other stuff. It was when she first got her memories back and everything was still hazy."
Sirius told himself not to get angry. He had yelled at Marlene enough of the Christmas holiday already. But it was hard not to be irked because he had been careful with the stories that he told and showed Harry, especially since Harry had come to him after he had seen Snape's memory.
"What memory was it?" Sirius asked in a low tone, trying to keep the frustration out of his voice.
Harry's green eyes flickered across Sirius' face. "It was one after one of the McKinnon's Boxing Day parties. You were in the back garden with Marlene and my parents. You were sharing a, well, you know and talking about what drinks you wanted."
That did not narrow it down. Sirius had spent a lot of time drinking and smoking spiffs at the McKinnon house with James, Lily, and Marlene. Not just on Boxing Day either.
"It was the seventies," Sirius said in means of an explanation, his left hand waving uselessly in the air.
Harry's face pinched. "Yeah, that's what Marlene said as well."
"Oh, fucking Merlin to fucking hell," Sirius muttered, rubbing a hand across his face. "Look, I get that our childhoods looked very different than your childhood currently. We probably seem like a bunch of fucking gormless gits to you. And, honestly, we bloody were. But I can also tell you that we grew up and we grew up fast. I swear to you, the day Lily found out she was pregnant, it was like the maturity level between us all cranked all the way up. James and Lily asked Marlene and I very early on if we'd be godparents. So, we all just… matured very quickly. Especially after you were born and the prophecy was, was a thing, it… we grew up."
Harry blinked up at Sirius, his head nodding. "No, I know that. I mean, obviously, you're not a gormless git now so… you know."
Sirius pressed his hands to Harry's shoulders. "But neither was James, okay? I need you to know that. Honestly, he was definitely more mature than I was when you were little. Twenty-one-year-old Sirius would definitely think thirty-seven-year-old Sirius is a fucking bore."
Harry chuckled, his lips curving up. "If it makes you feel any better, sixteen-year-old Harry thinks you're pretty great."
Sirius shot Harry a closed-mouth smile. "Thirty-seven-year-old Sirius cares about sixteen-year-old Harry's opinion more than twenty-one-year-old Sirius' opinion. Hands ruddy down."
Harry shot Sirius a soft grin. "I'm not so judgmental you can't show me memories of you and my dad being normal kids. I know my childhood is far from normal. And I know if Voldemort wasn't trying to kill me and I had grown up happy with you, I probably would be acting more like you did as a teenager."
Sirius nodded, his hands squeezing Harry's shoulders. "I just don't want you to think poorly of us. But… I also recognize that your generation isn't getting the childhood that my generation was able to get. My only hope is that your generation doesn't suffer the same adulthood that my generation did."
Harry squinted up at Sirius behind his glasses. "Do you think the war could be over with soon?"
Sirius held his breath for a few moments. "I hope so. What I want more than anything else in this world is for you leave Hogwarts and the war to be over with. I think we're all trying so desperately to make that happen," he admitted, his throat narrowing. "I just want you to join the Aurors, marry Ginny, have a nice family, and not worry about the same shit I'm worrying about right now."
Harry swallowed visibly. "I think… well, I think if I have that opportunity, I'd want to enact change too, you know? I'd want to be an Auror who fights for everyone to get a fair trial and, and I think the Dementors are awful. They shouldn't be guards to a prison."
Sirius felt all the air escaped his lungs. His heart swelled for his godson. The kid was too good, too pure for this bloody awful world. Sirius pressed his palms on Harry's cheeks.
"I think that's a wonderful idea, Harry," Sirius whispered, his voice on the edge of hoarseness.
"I just, I hate the thought of anyone going through what we did, you know?" Harry said in a soft voice. "You didn't deserve to rot in Azkaban for so long. I didn't deserve to be forgotten at the Dursleys. If you had gotten a trial, I would have only spent a couple of months with the Dursleys because there was literally no evidence. Then, I would have been with you."
Sirius nodded. "And I would have come for you the moment I was released. Showed up in prison robes and all," he said in the lightest tone he could muster, dropping his hands to rub Harry's arms. "I thought… I thought about you a lot in the beginning while in Azkaban. You were my only happy memory. The Dementors fed on that and they tried to take that away from me. Sometimes, I think they succeeded. Then, I would transform and I'd start to remember bits and pieces. You were always the thing I thought of first once my head cleared a bit. I'm sorry that I didn't… fight harder. I think… well, no, I know that a part of me felt like I deserved to be there. That sounds mental now saying that, but Dementors just twist your thoughts and feelings. They amplify every single bad thought in your head. The guilt just… it physically hurt around the Dementors, you know?"
Harry looked pale. "I hate Dementors," he whispered. "I hate that the only memory of my parents that I have that's mine is them on the night they were murdered. I only remember that because of the Dementors."
A knife stabbed Sirius' heart repeatedly. "We need to get your different memories that are just yours then," he whispered, clearing his throat. "You should pick a memory from the ones I gave you on Christmas. We can watch one before you leave for school, if you like."
Harry chewed on his bottom lip. "Do you think I'll like them?" he asked in a soft voice.
Sirius wanted to die at that question. "I think you'll love them as much as I do. When I say they were the most wonderful people I have ever met, I'm not just saying that for your benefit. I truly and deeply believe that. There were no two finer people."
Harry relaxed, a genuine smile crossing his lips. Sirius cupped the side of Harry's neck before he turned towards the table where everyone else lingered. They all seemed to be trying not to look in Sirius and Harry's direction, working around their gingerbread houses to clean the table.
"Come on, kid, let's judge these gingerbread houses," Sirius said, pressing a hand between Harry's shoulder blades and steering him towards the table.
Andromeda shot Sirius a teary-eyes look. "Everything okay?" she mouthed.
Sirius nodded. He offered to help Dora carry her gingerbread house over to the counter so she didn't trip and ruin all of her hard work. Once all the houses were in a straight line, Ted passed out the charmed pieces of parchment. Sirius couldn't help but write down Harry's name before dropping it into the bowl.
Dora tallied the votes. Four for Harry and three for Cepheus. Harry beamed as Andromeda hugged and fussed over him. Ted tapped Harry's apron so that Winner appeared in red ink. Andromeda and Ted made a big fuss over Cepheus as well, adding Runner Up to his apron. Andromeda forced the two boys together, asking them to hold up their houses so she could take a picture. Sirius couldn't help but smile at how happy the boys looked. He knew, without a shadow of a doubt, that all of the adults had decided long before the competition even started that those two boys were going to take home the top two prizes. Sirius couldn't be prouder that the boys voted for each other as well, like true brothers.
Harry stared at his godfather as he unpacked the dinner he had catered at a restaurant in town. Sirius had refused to allow Harry or Cepheus to make dinner, insisting he had it covered. Harry should be happy that Sirius hadn't attempted make anything and burn down their new home.
Cepheus leaned in close, his lips close to Harry's ear. "At least it's not more sandwiches."
A bubble of laughter rose up Harry's throat. He tried to stifle it but was unsuccessful. Sirius' gray eyes shot up to scowl at the two teenagers. Harry schooled his features, attempting to look innocent.
"If anyone asks, I made this from scratch," Sirius instructed, pointing a finger at the boys.
Harry shot Sirius an incredulous look. "Oh yeah, you certainly made it from scratch. You scratched the label right off."
Cepheus chuckled. Sirius only sucked in a breath and looked as though he were counting in his head to keep his temper in check. Harry vaguely wondered if Sirius was learning anger management in therapy as well.
"I was given the task to bring the Christmas crackers to the Burrow," Sirius said in a flat tone. "We were the only ones who didn't bring a food dish! I am trying to ruddy impress Molly."
Harry's brows furrowed. He didn't care what the reason was that the Weasleys were coming over for dinner. Harry was just excited to spend the evening with Ron and Ginny.
"I didn't know bringing a dish to dinner meant that much to you," Harry said, crossing his arms over his chest.
"I'm sure you could have taken something to Christmas," Cepheus reasoned. "Not that anyone would have dared risk eating it, but you could have taken something."
Sirius did not look amused as he summoned a few serving platters and bowls. Harry shook his head as he watched his godfather transfer the food to the nice dishes.
"I am tired of people shooting you two pitied looks because they all think I can't cook," Sirius explained, gathering up his evidence of the catered meal.
"But you can't cook…?" Cepheus said in an unsure voice.
"I don't care that people shoot us pitied looks," Harry reasoned. "I'd rather Andy and Mrs Weasley send food so we don't have to eat ham sandwiches for every meal when we're home."
Sirius sighed as he pitched the evidence in the bin. "I can provide for my kids," he snapped.
Harry suddenly understood, or at least he thought he did. Sirius didn't want anyone to think he was a bad parent. Although, Harry was fairly certain that Andromeda and Mrs Weasley didn't think that. He knew they were just trying to help out.
Commotion sounded in the house. A few seconds later, Ron and Ginny burst into the kitchen. Ginny made a beeline for Harry, practically throwing herself at Harry. He stumbled backward, successfully maintaining his balance.
"Oi, Ginny, get off him!" Ron snapped. "He was just about ready to throw himself at me."
Harry grinned, his right hand pressing against the back of Ginny's head and holding her close to his chest. While he knew he should greet his best mate, he wasn't ready to let go of Ginny just yet. Mr and Mrs Weasley entered the kitchen. Mr Weasley shook Sirius' hand while Mrs Weasley inspected the food on the table.
"I think you need to find yourself a new boyfriend, Ron," Ginny said, snuggling against his chest.
"How'd you do it, Sirius?" Ron asked.
Sirius raised his eyebrows, pulling his attention away from Mr Weasley. "Do what?"
Ron rolled his eyes. "Cope with the fact that Harry's dad replaced you with Harry's mum!"
Sirius let out a bark-like laugh. "Well, it didn't bother me."
Ron's eyes practically bogged out of his head. "I thought you were Harry's dad's best mate! Didn't you want first greeting? Like ever?"
"I don't know if you've noticed, but I'm not really a touchly-feely sort of person," Sirius replied. "I was pretty secure in my friendship with James that I didn't need first greeting."
"Oh, tosh!" Mrs Weasley exclaimed as she made her way over to Sirius, pulling him down to hug her. "You secretly love the affection. How have you been, dear? Eating any more fruitcake?"
Sirius chuckled as the joke flew right over Harry's head.
"Aww, Ronnie, are you insecure?" Ginny asked in a whiny baby voice.
"Ginny, stop," Harry said under his breath, knowing that line of teasing would only upset Ron for real.
Harry pressed a kiss to the top of Ginny's head before he untangled himself from her. He crossed the room towards Ron. Ron seemed to let Ginny's comment roll of his back as he pulled Harry into an embrace, thumping him hard on the back.
"I'm glad you're here, mate," Harry said, thumping Ron on the back as well.
"You should win a bloody award for putting up with my sister," Ron commented as he pulled back. "She's a right brat."
"Oi, I can hear you, you know!" Ginny explained.
Harry turned around just in time to see Ginny pulling out of an embrace with Cepheus.
"What might help, son, is finding a girlfriend yourself," Mr Weasley said, plucking his glasses from his face to clean them with a cloth from his pocket.
"Ron has a girlfriend," Ginny announced in a smug voice.
Ron's ears turned pink. Harry shot Ginny an exasperated look. Sometimes, just sometimes, the bickering between Ron and Ginny made him want to pull his hair out. Neither one could help themselves. It was constant ribbing and jabbing. If Harry was being completely honest, Ginny dealt far more low blows.
"Who?" Mrs Weasley demanded, her hands resting on her hips. "Ron! How could you keep this from us?"
"I'm going to bloody well kill you," Ron hissed at Ginny. "What is the matter with you?"
"I didn't know it was a ruddy secret," Ginny retorted.
Although, given the sick satisfaction plastered across Ginny's face, Harry doubted that was true. Ron pointed at Ginny, his lips turning down.
"Her name is Niamh Orlaugh," Ginny continued.
At the mention of Niamh's name, Cepheus looked down at the floor as he shoved his hands in his pockets.
"Niamh?" Mrs Weasley echoed as she turned towards Ginny. "Don't you have a friend named Niamh?"
"Oh, it's the same friend," Ginny confirmed with a shit-eating grin. "I guess Ron thought me dating his best mate looked fun so he decided to date one of mine."
"Gin," Harry said in a low voice, shooting a pleading look in Ginny's direction.
Ron only grew red. Sirius laughed.
"Merlin, just do what Ginny does, mate," Sirius said, clapping a hand on Ron's back. "It was a lot of fun when once I started to date Marlene back in the day. James and I went on double dates all the time because the girls were best friends. It made it infinitely easier."
Mrs Weasley frowned. "Who exactly is Niamh? I know you've mentioned her, Ginny, dear, but I don't know much about her. You talk about Demelza more than you do Niamh."
Ginny didn't know when to quit. "Oh, she's very sweet. Always holding Ron's hand and snogging him in broom cupboards."
"Ginny," Ron growled.
"Her dad's a Muggle, Dad," Ginny added. "You should invite them over sometime. I'm sure he'd love to answer all your questions."
"Oh, splendid!" Mr Weasley said in his normal jovial tone. "I was pondering compoodles the other day. Harry, have you ever encountered a compoodle?"
Harry blinked, his brow furrowing as he tried to determine what Mr Weasley was talking about. "A compoodle?"
"Yes! It's a little box with a screen that you can play games on and shop and do all sorts of things," Mr Weasley elaborated.
"Uh… do you mean a computer?" Harry asked.
Mr Weasley snapped, pointing his finger at Harry. "Yes, excellent! That! Perkins was telling me about it the other day. Sirius, did you ever encounter them? They weren't in the Muggle Studies curriculum when I was at Hogwarts."
Sirius shook his head. "No, but I think I saw one at a bowling alley a few months ago. It had keys and a screen and everything."
Harry stared at his godfather. Sirius wasn't really a bowling type of bloke.
"A bowling alley?" Mr Weasley exclaimed. "That sounds delightful. What is that?"
"Boys, shush!" Mrs Weasley hissed, her hands resting on her hips. "I want to hear about Ron's girlfriend! When did you two start dating?"
"Err…" Ron trailed off.
"Wasn't it back in September?" Ginny asked, an evil little smirk crossing her face.
"That long?" Mrs Weasley shrieked. "Ronald Bilius Weasley! Why would you keep a girlfriend a secret?"
Ron's chest heaved as he glared at Ginny.
"Yeah, Ronnie, why would you want to keep that a secret?" Ginny asked in a mocking tone.
"Oh, you want to tell secrets, don't you?" Ron spat, visibly angry and not at all teasing.
"Ron…" Harry whispered, his hand reaching out to touch his best mate's arm to stop him.
Ron shrugged his arm off.
"You have nothing on me," Ginny challenged him, standing her ground. "I don't keep secrets from Mum and Dad. Unlike you," she replied, flipping her hair behind her shoulder.
Cepheus' lips parted, his eyes flying to Harry. They stared at one another and Harry felt the air leave his lungs. No.
"Oh, you think I'm stupid, do you?" Ron snapped.
"Well, yeah," Ginny replied with a harsh laugh.
"Ginny's been sleeping in Harry's bed!" Ron shouted in a vicious tone.
Harry froze. Ginny looked taken aback. Cepheus looked up at the ceiling. Mrs Weasley squeaked, her hands covering her mouth.
"Aw, fuck," Sirius mumbled, his fingers pressing to his forehead.
"Ginevra! Harry!" Mrs Weasley exclaimed. "You two aren't ready for that! Ginny, you're only fifteen! You're not even on the potion!"
Harry wanted to melt into the floor and die. But first, first he wanted to kill his best mate.
"Did you teach Harry the Contraception Spell, Sirius?" Mrs Weasley screeched, rounding on Sirius. "
Sirius spluttered. "Of course, I did!"
"Oh, Sirius!" Mrs Weasley sighed dramatically before turning towards Ginny. "You're pregnant, aren't you?"
Sirius shot Harry a look, his face practically pleading for it not to be true.
"I'm not pregnant," Ginny hissed, her chin tilting up in defiance.
Mrs Weasley let out a sob. "Oh, Ginny! How far along are you?" she pressed, turning towards Sirius. "What are we going to do? Sirius! I asked you to give him a talk!"
"I did!" Sirius protested, gesturing wildly towards Harry. "Harry, tell her!"
Harry screwed his eyes shuts shut, hoping this was all a nightmare and he would wake up at any moment.
"Molly, dear," Mr Weasley's voice sounded.
"I need to brew a pregnancy potion," Mrs Weasley insisted. "Sirius, where is your cauldron?"
"Mum!" Ginny exclaimed. "Harry and I haven't had sex yet!"
"Oh, I wasn't born yesterday, Ginevra!" Mrs Weasley snapped. "One doesn't spend her nights in a boy's bed and not have sex!"
Harry opened his eyes when he felt a body press close to his.
"I'm sorry, mate," Ron whispered. "I didn't mean to. It just… it slipped out. Ginny just made me so bloody angry."
Harry was in half a mind to shout at Ron for being so careless with his words. It wasn't just Ginny that he had thrown under the broom, but Harry as well. He didn't do anything to Ron!
"How did you even find out?" Ginny shouted at Ron.
Cepheus looked up at the ceiling, his face paling. Harry didn't want to believe it was true. Surely, Ron and Cepheus weren't talking about them behind his back?
"I'm not a bloody moron, that's how!" Ron retorted, clearly choosing loyalty.
Harry's gaze flickered between Ron and Cepheus. Harry understood why Sirius wanted to strangle Kreacher sometimes now. If Kreacher hadn't blurted out that he took Harry to Ginny's dorm, Cepheus never would have known and then let it slip to Ron. Cepheus shot a frantic look at Harry, looking like he was about ready to cry.
"I'm sorry," Cepheus mouthed, his breaths coming out in harsh little huffs.
Harry felt his annoyance slip away at how upset Cepheus looked. Turning towards his best mate, Ron looked miserably at Harry.
"All right! All right!" Mr Weasley shouted up, his hands raised. "We will discuss this at home with our respective children. Molly, you need to calm down. If Ginny says she and Harry weren't… well, that they were being safe than I believe them! Ron, Ginny, you two need to learn to control your tempers. You are too close to constantly be trying to anger the other so deeply. Quite frankly, I am disappointed in this display here. The two of you should have each other's backs, not try to get the other one in trouble. It would do your relationship well to see how Fred and George as well as Bill and Charlie are each other's biggest confidants."
"You can't tell them to keep things from us, Arthur!" Mrs Weasley protested.
"I think as long as it's not a life and death situation, it would do us well not to know everything that goes on in their lives," Mr Weasley reasoned. "I have to have faith that we have raised our children well enough for them to know that they can come to us when it matters with problems or questions. Yelling at them because Ron and Ginny's bickering has gotten out of hand doesn't instill any confidence that they can come to us with important things."
Sirius looked as though he were taking notes, his head nodding as he stared intently at Mr Weasley. Harry wanted to go to bed and not wake up until it was time to go back to school. He could only imagine the lecture Sirius was going to give him later.
"Now, let's not allow this to sour the evening. Sirius put a lot of work into this dinner," Mr Weasley continued.
Mrs Weasley sighed deeply, shooting Ginny a disappointed and aggravated look. Ginny probably didn't notice, however, as she stared daggers into Ron. Harry dared to glance over at Sirius who only frowned.
Dinner continued to be an awkward affair as Harry sat between Ginny and Ron. He pushed his food around his plate with his fork, his gaze flickering between the adults through his fringe throughout the evening.
"I'm sorry again, mate. I just… I got angry," Ron said lamely. "I put my foot in my mouth, which isn't exactly new."
Harry nodded, his anger from earlier nearly completely gone. "It's fine."
Ron swallowed, a grimace crossing his face. "I'm not insecure, you know? I'm happy you're happy."
Harry couldn't really be upset with Ron. Anytime Harry and Ron had fought, it had always been about an insecurity of Ron's. Harry had never understood how his best mate could ever be insecure because he had such a great life and a wonderful family. If there was one thing he learned over the course of the past year, it was that nobody was perfect. He had to accept that everyone made mistakes. The last thing he wanted was to fight with Ron over his big mouth.
"I know, mate," Harry replied. "Let's just… think before you speak next time, yeah?"
Ron only looked guilty. "Yeah, yeah, I'll try."
Harry offered Ron a tight smile. "I'm going to tell you every single detail of Sirius' talk now because of you."
Ron laughed, the tension breaking between them. "I have no doubt I'll get one too now that they know about Niamh," he said with a shrug. "Although, I don't know."
Harry's brows furrowed. "You don't know what?"
"Niamh's nice and all, but… it's kind of boring, you know?" Ron said in a low voice, his eyes casting a worried look in Ginny's direction. "She doesn't like Quidditch. There's only so many Witch Weekly articles I can hear her talk about."
"Are you going to break up with Niamh?" Harry whispered, his eyes searching Ron's face. "Ron, Niamh's like the nicest person ever."
Ron's face pulled. "Don't remind me!" he hissed. "There's no spark! You and Ginny can't even spend a night apart without whining and I haven't even thought about Niamh once until Ginny brought her up tonight. That makes me a terrible person, doesn't it?"
Harry sucked in a breath. "Maybe not a terrible person, but definitely a terrible boyfriend."
Ron groaned, stabbing his jacket potato with his fork. Harry couldn't help but frown, knowing that if Niamh cried over a breakup with Ron then Ginny would be out for blood. As selfish as it sounded, Harry really didn't want to be in the middle of that spat.
After dinner, the Weasleys didn't linger. Harry couldn't tell if that was because of the sleeping arrangement revelation at Hogwarts or not. Cepheus awkwardly made himself scarce as soon as the front door was closed, darting up the stairs to his room. Sirius only steered Harry into the parlor, gesturing for him to take a seat on the sofa. Sirius took a seat on the coffee table in front of him.
Sirius sighed deeply, his palms rubbing against his thighs. "Look, I'm not going to lecture you."
"Good, because I haven't done anything wrong," Harry retorted.
Sirius stared at him, looking exhausted and older. "I know I broke my fair share of rules as a kid. I have the detention records to prove it. So, while I feel slightly hypocritical, I am going to ask that you follow the school rules and try to avoid detention."
Harry sighed, his gaze shifting to look out the window. "What if I don't want to follow the rules?"
Sirius sucked in a breath. "Then, I suppose there's nothing I can do about it while you're at school. But one day you will get caught and then McGonagall will be watching you like a bloody hawk."
"Right," Harry said in a flat tone.
"You two don't need to be sharing a bed," Sirius pressed. "I have no qualms about you and Ginny dating. You know that. I thought you wanted to take it slow."
Harry rolled his eyes, his gaze snapping to Sirius. "We haven't done anything. Even if we had, why does it matter so much?"
"We just want the two of you to be safe," Sirius insisted. "That's all."
Harry only felt his irritation spike. "I'm not my dad. I'm not going to have a kid when I'm still a teenager."
"No, you are definitely nothing like James," Sirius agreed, learning forward and propping his elbows on his knees.
Harry didn't know if that was meant to be an insult or not. His insides squirmed uncomfortably.
"Can you please just sleep in your own beds from now on?" Sirius asked, his face tugging down.
"No," Harry replied simply.
Sirius' jaw clenched, his head shaking. "Why not?"
"Because," Harry said in his best defiant tone.
Sirius sat up straight and lolled his head back "Harry."
Harry huffed, his hands clasping tightly in his lap. "Because I don't have nightmares or weird Voldemort dreams when I'm with Ginny. I know that sounds stupid, because why would they just stop when I'm with her, but I've realized the handful of times I've had Voldemort dreams was when Ginny wasn't around," he said in a rush, the words spilling out of his mouth as Sirius peered curiously at him. "I don't have any nightmares actually when I'm with her. I don't dream about the graveyard or being possessed or people dying. It's so nice not to be plagued with horrible dreams like I was last year. While I like being home and spending the holiday with you, I'm having nightmares again. Not Voldemort dreams, but just normal nightmares. And I hate it."
Sirius only stared at Harry, his lips pulling into a thin line. Harry pursed his lips to the side, recalling all the nightmares he had of Voldemort killing Sirius, Ginny, Ron, Marlene, and all the Weasleys. He thought about the mass grave of bodies filled with Ginny's friends and Order members that danced on the backs of his eyelids long after he had woken up. Harry dreamt of bright green flashes of light, of graveyards, of his father screaming, and his mother pleading. Harry hated it, hated waking up breathless with tears rolling down his cheeks.
"Ginny says the same thing," Harry added hastily. "She used to have terrible nightmares about the diary and Voldemort, but she doesn't when we're together. So, it's not about sex or anything like that. We've never even done anything except for snog, which I told you on Christmas. And I don't know why you'd think I'd lie about that. Despite what the Daily Prophet writes about me, I'd hope my own godfather wouldn't think me a liar."
"I don't think you're a liar, Harry," Sirius said slowly, his gray eyes searching Harry's face.
Harry's chest heaved. "I'm not my dad. I'm not you either."
Sirius nodded, the corners of his lips turning down. "That you are not."
Harry didn't know what else to say. He didn't want to stop sleeping in the same bed as Ginny. He wouldn't stop. For reasons he didn't fully understand, he felt calm and happy around her. Her presence pushed aside all of his negative thoughts and quieted his anxieties.
"I know what it's like to grow up too fast," Sirius said, his tongue running along his bottom lip. "While I was able to maintain somewhat of a normal childhood, I joined the Order when I was eighteen. I was thrust into this war. I was brave and passionate and also very dumb and reckless. My young adulthood was stripped away because of pure arrogance. My innocence long gone. As a much older man who has seen the very worst of humanity, I wish I could change so many things that I did when I was younger. While I am positive James and Lily had zero regrets when it came to you because I can't imagine my life without you in it, they were young. They were just as dumb and foolish as I was. Maybe if we hadn't been so involved in the Order, everything would have worked out better for us all. Maybe getting pregnant at nineteen wouldn't have been a big deal. While this may just be something innocent and comforting for you and Ginny now, it's not going to stay that way for long. I need you to be smarter than I was as a kid. I need you to be more careful."
Harry stiffly nodded, not knowing how to feel. He understood Sirius' concerns. Any slip-ups while he was the Chosen One would be disastrous. The last thing Harry wanted was to put an even bigger target over Ginny's head, to put a target over any child's head. But Harry also thought Sirius' and Mrs Weasley's concerns went overboard.
"I just want you to promise me, when the time comes, you will come to me first no matter how awkward it may be," Sirius continued.
Harry nodded again. "Yeah, I promise," he said, meaning it, so hopefully they could finally put the issue at rest.
Sirius offered Harry a strained smile, his fingers wrapping around Harry's knee.
"Is it normal?" Harry asked in a soft voice, changing the subject. "For someone to calm you so much? Is that why I don't slip into Voldemort's mind when I'm with Ginny? I'm just calm?"
Sirius shrugged. "I don't know, Harry. You said you've had nightmares since you've been home. Have you had any Voldemort dreams or has that potion Andy's been making helping you?"
Harry shook his head. "No, just normal nightmares."
Sirius rubbed his hand against his mouth. "I think the people we love can calm us," he reasoned. "Over the summer, when you were possessed, you seemed to overcome it when someone touched you. Someone who loves you and you love back."
Harry wiped his hands on his trousers, the corner of his mouth twitching upward. Love. Harry didn't often think about that very big four-letter word. He had never loved anyone for the longest time, growing up in such a loveless house. The first person he could say he truly loved had been Sirius. As soon as Sirius said those three words to Harry, Harry had been overwhelmed by emotions he had never had before. Suddenly, he could categorize his feelings towards his godfather into one concrete emotion.
Harry had been toying with the idea that he had fallen for Ginny. That he had, at some point, started to love her. The ease of their relationship, the way she made him laugh, the way he felt like they were the only two people in the entire universe, the way he could relax and be himself, the way she accepted him and all of his flaws, the way they both showed extraordinary patience with one another. Even when Ginny annoyed him, it just took one brilliant smile in his direction to make him forget all about what was irritating him in the first place. He found himself seeking out her company and comfort. Honestly, Harry couldn't get enough of it.
"I think I love her," Harry whispered, his brows furrowing. "Can you know you love someone so soon?"
Sirius chuckled. "Anyone with two bloody eyes can see you love her."
Harry didn't know if that was supposed to be comforting or not. "I don't want to muck it up," he admitted.
"You won't," Sirius assured him.
"How do you know?" Harry questioned, his eyes squinting behind his glasses.
"Because I know you," Sirius replied as though that were obvious. "There's no better person I have ever met in my life. You are kind and humble. You are smart and funny. When you love, you love with your entire heart," he said as he leaned forward and clamped a hand on Harry's shoulder. "There is no perfect time to feel what you feel. Sometimes, if you're lucky enough, you realize it early. If you're unlucky, you realize it too late. I wouldn't worry about that, Harry."
Harry only nodded, feeling oddly more at ease. He had been trying for a while to categorize what he felt towards Ginny since he had never felt it towards a girl before. It seemed impossible to already be experiencing the four-letter word given they had only dated six months. But he did. Harry Potter was in love with Ginny Weasley.
Sirius stood on the decked patio with Harry and Cepheus. He had received an owl from Hagrid asking him to be out in the back garden at a specified time and had already been told the house's secret location from Andromeda so he could find them. While Sirius didn't mind that Hagrid knew the secret, he wished Andromeda would have asked him before she divulged that bit of information. The less people who knew where they were, the better.
Letting out a breath, Sirius turned towards the boys to ensure they weren't cold. They were both in their matching leather jackets. They seemed unbothered by the bitter December air, having obviously cast a Warming Charm. It wouldn't be the first time that the boys had broken the no magic outside of school rule. Honestly, Sirius didn't have it in him to actually care. It wasn't like he or James followed that rule at all when they were younger. In fact, Sirius encouraged the boys to keep their wands on them and had no qualms about them practicing magic at the house. It had always been an antiquated rule for the sole purpose to punish Muggleborn witches and wizards.
Sirius, unlike the boys, hadn't bothered to cast a Warming Charm on his leather jacket. His shoulders hunched up as he looked around the back garden for any indication of Hagrid.
"Oh no," Harry whispered, his gaze focusing on a spot in the sky.
Sirius followed his gaze to see something flying through the sky. Squinting, Sirius could make out streaks of pink and a brown blob. As the object came closer, Sirius could make out Hagrid sitting on a motorbike. His nose wrinkled as he soaked in the black bike with pink stripes and some sort of decal on the rear fender. There was even a side car attached to it.
"Why is Hagrid flying a motorbike?" Cepheus asked.
"Why did you say 'oh no'?" Sirius pressed, his attention turning to Harry.
"Err, you remember how you sent me that gift to give to Hagrid?" Harry started.
"Yeah," Sirius replied, his brows furrowing.
Harry's face pulled back into a grimace. "Well, he really liked your gift and mentioned he had your motorbike and wanted to give it back to you now that you had the new house."
Sirius head jerked up to the sky. No. It couldn't be his old motorbike. His bike didn't have a fucking side car or pink stripes. It looked like his slick black 1959 Triumph, just modified in a horrific way. What the ruddy hell did Hagrid do to his bike? He was going to kill him. Sirius was going to kill Hagrid. There was no way around it.
"Fuck me," Sirius breathed, his jaw dropping. "He didn't fucking do that to my bike!"
"Sirius, be nice," Harry commanded.
"I don't feel like being bloody nice right now," Sirius growled.
Harry elbowed Sirius in the side. "Be nice. And smile!"
"I can't smile," Sirius said through clenched teeth. "He ruined my fucking bike!"
Hagrid landed in the back garden a fair bit away from them and slowly drove towards them.
"Sirius, I am begging you to be nice to Hagrid," Harry said in a hurried tone. "Please, don't be rude about it. He's probably really excited to give you the bike. I'm sure he spent a lot of time fixing it up for you."
Sirius blinked, his eyes focusing on his rear fender. "Is that a fucking Hippogriff decal?"
Hagrid approached them fast, a wide grin spreading across his face.
"Sirius," Harry pressed, his fingers gripping Sirius' arm. "If you care at all about me, you will not be mean to Hagrid. Please."
Sirius only continued to stare. He tried to smile but his face muscles were frozen in pure shock and dismay. The motorbike stopped short of them and Hagrid climbed off. His smile was so big that his face could very well crack. Sirius didn't move.
"Sirius! Harry! Cepheus!" Hagrid greeted. "Happy Christmas ter yeh!"
"Happy Christmas, Hagrid," Harry said in a fond voice, an easy smile sliding across his face.
"Happy Christmas, Hagrid," Cepheus greeted as well. "Nice bike."
Sirius could kill his nephew for that comment. Harry stomped on Sirius' foot and he finally found the will to move.
"Hagrid, good to see you," Sirius said in a monotone voice, which was better than what he wanted to say.
Nobody could ever claim he didn't bloody well love Harry. It took every single fiber of his being not to shout at Hagrid for what he did to his bike. Harry and his stupid fucking manners. For once, Sirius wished the kid wasn't so ruddy kind.
Hagrid must not have noticed Sirius' tone. "Sirius, I wanted ter give yeh your motorbike back. Fixed it up meself! Gave it a nice paint job and added a side car now tha' yeh have the boys with yeh."
"It looks great, Hagrid!" Harry said in a loud voice.
"Yeah, I really like the pink and black," Cepheus added.
Sirius remained silent. He assumed that if he didn't have anything nice to say, then he shouldn't say anything at all. Harry should appreciate that.
"I have ter tell yeh tha' I'm sorry, Sirius. I wish I would have given yeh Harry tha' night or at least had yeh come with me ter see Dumbledore," Hagrid lamented, big fat tears rolling down his cheeks. "I jus wasn' thinking. I couldn' even wrap me head around wha' happened. Had me upset fer weeks. Couldn' stop thinking abou' it."
Sirius' anger slowly dissipated as his heart fell into the floor. Sometimes, it was hard to remember that other people had been wrecked by the deaths of James and Lily. Even more so, it was hard to imagine anyone else having massive regrets about that day. Seeing Hagrid openly sob made Sirius feel like shit for wanting to kill him just a few moments ago.
"It was a bad night," Sirius agreed, trying to keep his voice as even as possible. "Worst night of my life."
Sirius stared at Hagrid, unable to look over in Harry's direction.
Hagrid nodded, more tears spilling down his face. "Ever since I learned the truth, I've felt awful abou' tha' night. I thought yeh hated me until Harry brought me tha' gift from all o' yeh."
"I don't hate you, Hagrid," Sirius assured him in a strained voice. "Everyone was all out of sorts that night."
"Yeh're a good man, Sirius. too good," Hagrid commented, taking a step forward and pulling Sirius into a bone-crushing hug. "James an' Lily would be proud o' the way yeh're taking care o' Harry. Yeh should know tha'. He's come a long way an' he's happy now. Tha' is all thanks ter yeh."
Sirius screwed his eyes shut, trying to think of anything except for James and Lily. He cleared his throat. He pulled out of the embrace, wiping his hand beneath his eyes quickly before he faced Hagrid.
"Do you want to come in for some tea and a tour?" Sirius asked in a gruff voice.
Hagrid beamed, accepting.
Harry leaned in close to Sirius. "Thank you."
Sirius only wrapped an arm around Harry's shoulders, tugging the kid close to his side before they entered the house. Sirius put on a kettle for the tea while Harry and Cepheus pulled out a bunch of sweets that had been made over the holiday break. His gaze caught the pink bike through the window and he supposed it wouldn't take much work to get the bike back to its original glory. Maybe that was the project he needed when the boys went back to school to occupy his time.
Later that night, when Harry was off chatting with Ginny on the mirror and Cepheus was up in his room, Sirius pushed the bike into the shed in the back garden. It looked completely different than how he remembered it, like it was a brand-new bike. Sirius ran his hand along the leather seat. It had been his first big purchase after Hogwarts. He could remember looking at bikes with James who feigned interest the entire time, making quips about how he should just get a bloody broom instead.
He couldn't help but think of all the times he had rode the motorbike with Marlene, with James, with Lily. One time, he had even convinced Euphemia to allow him to give her a spin around Godric's Hollow. Although, she had denied to allow him to fly her up in the air. It seemed like a lifetime ago, the memories becoming fuzzy with gaping holes. He didn't think it was due to his time at Azkaban like it had been in the beginning. Now, it just seemed like too much time had passed.
Sirius glanced out the little window, catching sight of the lights on in Harry's and Cepheus' rooms. If someone had told a twenty-one-year-old Sirius that he'd be raising his teenage godson and nephew, he would have thought them mental. Somehow, someway, it had all become more and more natural for Sirius. He wanted to be a better person for them. He wanted to do right by them. He wanted to give them a chance at the life he had always wanted but had slipped through his fingers.
"I like the pink."
Sirius whipped around and his breath hitched in his throat at the sight of Lily. She looked so young, so vibrant, so familiar. Her green eyes shined as brightly as Harry's did. Sirius only stared at her as he became very aware of Fluffernoodle coiling around his neck. Lily leaned against the doorjamb, her arms crossing over her chest. She arched an auburn eyebrow at him.
"I told James he should speak with you, but he refused," Lily said, a sad smile crossing her face. "He said you told him to stay away."
Sirius sucked in a breath. "What are you doing here?"
"It's love," Lily said as though he should know what she's talking about. "It's always been love."
"What is?" Sirius whispered.
"The secret weapon against Voldemort," Lily replied. "You're starting to realize that. Ginny Weasley doesn't just calm Harry down. His love for her solidifies the walls around his mind. Voldemort can't penetrate them when Harry is overcome with love. It's painful for him, because he can't stand the emotion."
"Dumbledore said he thought the magic Voldemort knew not was love," Sirius said in a strained voice.
"Sirius…" Lily trailed off, her eyebrows tugging down. "Harry needs to keep sharing a bed with Ginny. Not just for his mental health, but to protect him against Voldemort."
"Molly will bloody well hang me if she finds out I've given them my blessing," Sirius reasoned.
"He needs the protection, Sirius," Lily reasoned. "You need to trust him that he'll come to you when he's ready for something more. And it's not just him who is benefiting. Ginny needs the comfort as well, especially with the potential danger she is going to find herself in. It won't be long until Voldemort goes after Ginny when he figures out just how special she is."
Sirius screwed his eyes shut. Talks of little Ginny Weasley had been a hot topic for over a year now. The diary. Being the seventh child and the only girl in the Weasley family for seven generations. Her pureblood status. Her connection with Harry. Nobody could decide if Voldemort would want to kill her or coerce her into joining him. Sirius hated to admit it, but he feared if Ginny didn't submit, she would be forced to submit with spells and enchantments. He had seen the lengths Voldemort would go in order to ensnarl those he took an interest in.
"What you're trying to do won't work, Sirius," Lily said, pushing off the doorjamb. "You can't bottle up love in some potion."
Sirius snapped out of his thoughts, his brows furrowing. "What do you mean?"
Lily's facial features tugged down. "There's only one way to rid him of the Horcrux and keep him alive. It's love, real love, that will destroy it."
Sirius' heart dropped to the floor. "I have to try. I have to do something. I can't just stand back and not do everything I possibly can."
Lily stepped in front of Sirius, her chin tilting all the way back so she could look into his eyes. "Don't tell him. Please, Sirius, he can't know about it."
Sirius' chest heaved. "I don't plan on it."
Tears appeared in Lily's eyes. "Thank you, Sirius. For everything."
Sirius let out a long, low sigh. "I haven't done enough. I'm so sorry."
"Sorry for what?" a new voice sounded.
Sirius snapped his attention up to see Harry standing in the doorway, his arms crossing over his chest. Looking down, Lily was gone. Fluffernoodle eased his grip around Sirius' neck. Sirius hadn't even noticed that Fluffernoodle had at some point coiled so tightly around him.
"Sirius, are you all right?" Harry asked, stepping into the shed.
Wiping his palm across his mouth, Sirius nodded. He couldn't find it within him to speak, to utter even a single word. All he could do was to stare at Harry's eyes, Lily's eyes. Harry frowned. Sirius couldn't have him upset, so he closed the space between them and gripped the kid's shoulders.
"Are you all right?" Sirius asked in barely above a whisper.
Harry nodded. "Yeah, I just… I finished talking with Ginny and I realized you weren't in bed yet so I thought I'd see what you were up to. I saw the lights on in here from the kitchen window," he explained, his green eyes searching Sirius' face. "Who were you talking to?"
Sirius swallowed, squeezing Harry's shoulders. "Ghosts."
"Ghosts?" Harry asked, his brow furrowing. "What do you mean?"
Sirius wanted to tell Harry everything, to unload all the emotions and the odd snake powers of slipping through the cracks. Except, Harry was only sixteen. Harry was just a kid. Forcing a smile on his face, Sirius' hands left Harry's shoulders so that he could cup the kids face.
"Nothing," Sirius settled on saying. "Just talking to myself."
Harry didn't look convinced but he didn't press any further.
"Want to grab some tea and stargaze for a bit?" Sirius asked.
"You do know I just barely received an O.W.L. in Astronomy, right?" Harry asked.
Sirius laughed. "Yeah, well, I received a dreadful on my Astronomy O.W.L.," he said with a grin. "I even said that the Sirius star was located in the Hydra constellation."
Harry rolled his eyes. "You've told me that at least five times already. You're oddly proud of it."
"I was shooting for a–"
"Troll, I know," Harry interrupted with a grin. "You wanted to make Walburga and Orion angry."
Sirius ruffled Harry's hair. The kid ducked down away from the touch.
"You're a little shit," Sirius commented in an affectionate tone. "You're supposed to be enthralled with everything I say, even if I've already told you fifty thousand times."
Harry laughed, a lopsided grin flitting across his face. "You know, if you keep calling me that, I'm going to start to believe you're serious."
Sirius smiled. "Come on, little shit, let's go make some tea," he said, wrapping an arm around Harry's neck, pulling him close and pressing a kiss on top of Harry's unruly mop of hair. "Just so you know, I appreciate that you're a little shit. Keeps me on my toes."
Harry chuckled, wrapping an arm around Sirius' back. "Noted."
They walked across the garden in comfortable silence. When they entered the kitchen, Sirius stepped away from his godson to start on the tea. Harry lingered nearby, his fingers pushing up his glasses.
"I, err, I was thinking about those memories you found," Harry said, shifting his weight. "I was wondering if we could watch one before I go back to school. Maybe Andy could take Cepheus for the day and we could, well, I was hoping we could invite Marlene."
Sirius stopped breathing.
"I know things are… awkward or whatever between you two, but my parents made the memories for all of us to watch together," Harry continued. "I don't think we should exclude her, you know? We should invite her because, because they were her family too."
Sirius swallowed as he lit the stove before settling the kettle on top of the burner. Harry was too thoughtful for his own damn good. Just like Lily. A pang of misery pulsed in his chest. He couldn't believe that she had come up with the idea to put those memories together for Harry. It was so damn thoughtful. But it didn't surprise Sirius one bit. She had always tried to take care of everyone. Of course, she would go above and beyond for her son and make sure to include his godparents in the process.
"Yeah, uh, nah, I agree," Sirius said, trying to keep the uneasiness out of his voice. "I'll send Marlene an owl tonight and call Andy to see if she's free to meet with Marlene to give her the secret."
Harry chewed on his bottom lip. "Are you sure it's all right?"
Sirius forced a closed-mouth smile on his lips. "Of course, Marlene and I are adults. If you want us both there, then we'll make it work."
Harry sucked in a breath, his arms crossing over his chest. "There's one for my first day of Hogwarts. I know that was six years ago, but… well, seems fitting to view it before going back after the holiday."
Sirius' heart hammered in his chest. "That sounds great, Harry."
Sirius looked out the window into the back garden. A large stag stood by the back deck, staring at Sirius through the glass. Sirius' jaw clenched, his eyes watering from not blinking. The kettle whistled, knocking Sirius out of his staring competition. Harry was talking, but Sirius couldn't understand the words. His godson's voice was a jumbled mess of syllables in his ringing ears. Sirius took the kettle off the burner and sucked in a breath. His eyes flickered back to the window to see the stag was gone.
Sirius pouted them both a cup of tea. Forcing a smile onto his lips, he turned towards his godson and held out a cup of tea to him. Harry accepted it, his jumbled syllables sounding like words again. Sirius' tight smile turned into a genuine one. Of all the things James and Lily had done for him over the years, the biggest blessing they had bestowed upon him was naming him Harry's godfather. Sirius loved the kid more than he could put into words. Being a godfather gave him a purpose in life, made him want to be a better person. As Sirius sat down across from Harry at the kitchen table, he felt Fluffernoodle coiling around his neck. Sirius allowed his gaze to wander to the kitchen window once more. He swore he caught James' reflection in the glass, a sad smile crossing his lips.
Hope you enjoyed the latest chapter! Next week's chapter may look a little different. I'm trying something new which I think you all will like. Don't forget to drop a review. They motivate me to keep on writing and inspire new ideas!
Special thanks to prewettpotter for all of her hard work. She's been really inspiring a lot of fantastic ideas lately!