Horse Ride

Disclaimer: I don't own Downton Abbey.

Robert Crawley swelled with pride as the new ponies were led out right beyond his horse, Dundee, and his parents' horses. It was time for Mary and Edith to learn to ride.

"The black one is yours, Mary and the white one with the little spots on it is yours, Edith," he said softly to his two oldest daughters. Edith's brown eyes grew wide, and her mouth formed an "o" as she stared at her new pony. Mary, on the other hand, nodded primly like the little lady she was already becoming. Each wore a new riding habit, made perfectly to fit their little bodies.

A huge grin spread across Papa's face as he watched Mary and Edith look at their new ponies. "Come my dears," he said, taking each one by the hand, much gentler than he'd ever done with Robert, or even with Rosamund. Papa was growing soft in his old age.

"I hope the girls don't take after their American side on the horses," Mama said with a sigh, dressed in her own habit. "All Crawley's should be natural riders." With that, she marched toward her own horse.

Sighing, Robert wished Mama wouldn't continue making jabs at Cora. It was true that his wife was never completely comfortable on a horse, and even today, she chose to stay inside with baby Sybil rather than ride out with the rest of their family during Mary and Edith's first lesson. But Cora did so many other things wonderfully, that Robert couldn't let that bother him.

He watched closely as the stablemaster secured the side saddle on Mary's pony. Then Papa carefully helped his oldest granddaughter onto the animal, making certain she sat appropriately on the saddle. Mary sat primely on the pony, as if she were born to ride, and Robert swelled with even more pride.

Mama had been worried for nothing.

Robert immediately climbed onto Dundee, ready for the best ride of his life, as the stablemaster instructed Mary how to control her horse. The feel of the saddle and the scent of his horse filled Robert with such familiarity that he couldn't help but grin himself, especially as he pictured his daughters growing to enjoy the same things.

Meanwhile, Papa helped Edith onto her pony. Unfortunately, his second daughter appeared much less confident than his first. She clung tightly to the pony's head, and her entire body was rigid.

Robert guided Dundee to Edith. "Edith, darling, you need to relax a bit."

"Sit up straight, Lady Edith," the stable master said carefully." Edith looked uncertainly at him, as if she couldn't bring herself to sit back on the saddle. Her little body was almost on top of the pony's head.

Gingerly, he put his hand on her back, wishing touching came as naturally to him as it did for Cora. "Easy," Robert said softly. "Breathe deeply."

"You need to act confident, rather than tense, so the horse will listen to you," Papa said, once again in a much gentler way than he'd ever spoken to Robert.

Edith's body slowly began to relax against her father's hand, and Papa nodded, deciding it was safe to climb on his own horse. Finally, Robert withdrew his hand. "You'll be fine, Edith," he said. Edith nodded as the stablemaster instructed her how to use the reins to control the horse, although her brown eyes still darted around in every direction.

But certainly, Edith would soon be as comfortable riding as Mary was. Robert, Papa, Mama, and Mary all trotted their horses along as Edith finally managed to control her pony.

"See," Robert sighed in relief. "Both Mary and Edith will be excellent horsewomen someday. They are already competent riders." He looked pointedly at Mama, daring her to contradict him.

"Well of course," Mama said, as if Robert were still a foolish boy who hadn't graduated from Eton, married, and had three beautiful little girls. "I never thought otherwise. Remember, I said all the Crawley's are natural riders." She rode on, illustrating her own natural talent.

Once again, Robert felt the comfortable familiarity of the saddle and the unique scent of the horse. He and his family belonged here, riding these horses that his family had owned for generations.

And then Edith somehow lost control of her pony.

The horse appeared to shift from one side of the trail to the other, and whinnied over and over again, as if he were an untrained animal instead of picked specifically for Robert's daughter to ride. Before anyone could do anything, she somehow slid off the saddle. "Edith!" said the whole family at the same time, as she fell off the horse.

"Fetch Dr. Clarkson!" Robert said sharply, climbing off Dundee, and cradling her little blonde head.

OOOOOOOOOO

"Fortunately, she doesn't appear to have any lumps on her cranium," Dr. Clarkson said, his hands moving around on her little blonde head. "But I'm afraid she has some serious bruises," he gestured to her left leg, and hip, which were covered in horrifying black and blue marks.

Why had Robert ever taken Edith riding today?

"And her arm?" Mama said, in the same voice she used when she thought the speaker was dim. Robert had to agree with Mama in this case, though. Edith's arm was bigger than it had been when she'd climbed on the pony. Too big for it to be natural.

"It hurts, doctor," Edith said in her tiny voice, and Robert wished even more that he'd never agreed to take her riding. Mary had done well, but Edith was younger and more fragile.

"I'm certain it does," Dr. Clarkson said, shaking his head in his thick Scottish brogue. "I'm afraid her arm is sprained. I'll have to put in a cast and give her some morphine for the pain. Keep it elevated for the next couple of weeks, and ice both her arm and bruises regularly. I'll visit the Abbey in a few days to see how the injury is recovering."

Mama shook her head at the doctor again, as if he were still not good enough. Robert just wished he were a good enough father.

OOOOOOOOOO

Cora fully agreed Robert was a bad father, staring at him uncharacteristically cold, asking him why he had to endanger their middle daughter like that, and even forbidding him from entering her bedchamber.

Cora also spent more time in the nursery since Edith was hurt than she ever did playing with baby Sybil. She cuddled Edith, read her stories, and kept her injuries iced and her arm elevated. Not even Mama's barbed comments, which often crushed Cora's spirits, could deter her from spending all her time in the nursery. Nor Mama's insistence that Cora must assist in planning the garden party.

Robert watched from afar.

He adored how natural Cora was with their daughters, much more natural than Mama had ever been. But he loathed to see Edith and Cora in so much pain, and wondered how he could ever make it up to either of them. All he could see was Edith falling off her pony over and over again. He'd known she hadn't been comfortable on the saddle that day. Why hadn't Robert taken her off the pony right away?

How could he live with himself for causing Edith's injuries?

OOOOOOOOOO

As Edith's injuries slowly disappeared, Cora's mood improved. The swelling on her arm decreased, and Edith no longer complained of stinging bruises. Robert almost thought he saw Cora smile at him yesterday from across the room. But he couldn't smile back. Not when he was responsible for hurting their daughter.

Nothing could stop Cora or Edith from smiling the day Dr. Clarkson arrived to remove Edith's cast. In fact, they both positively beamed. Robert, of course, watched from afar.

"It itches, Doctor," Edith said, lifting up her cast to show him. "It itches real bad."

"I'm certain it does," Dr. Clarkson said with a nod. "And you're more than ready to have it off."

Both Cora and Edith nodded. "Please."

"I'm afraid I will have to cut it off," Dr. Clarkson said, his brogue a bit thicker than before." He pulled a knife out of his black bag.

Both Cora and Edith's eyes widened. Cora held onto Edith tightly, her little blonde locks mixing with Cora's dark ones. Robert just reminded himself that Edith wouldn't be in this situation if it wasn't for him. The image of her falling from her pony flashed though his mind again as Dr. Clarkson maneuvered his knife far too close to his little girl's skin.

Finally, Dr. Clarkson smiled. "All done."

Cora and Edith beamed brighter than ever.

"And it looks as if the bruises have faded away completely," Dr. Clarkson said, inspecting her skin carefully. "I'd say you're a healthy young lady."

"Thank you so much Dr. Clarkson," Cora said in her soft American accent. So overcome with emotion, she even pulled the doctor in for a hug.

Ordinarily, Cora's expressive emotions caused Robert to smile. But now all he could think of was he'd never receive such a hug from her again. Edith may have recovered, but Robert was still to blame for causing them.

OOOOOOOOO

But even though he was to blame, for some reason Cora invited Robert back into her room that night. "But why?" Robert said, staring at the other side of his dressing room. "I still caused our little Edith's injuries. So much pain for weeks…" He swallowed a lump as he watched her fall off the horse again.

Cora's soft arms touched his shoulders from behind. "Robert, you did not cause Edith's injuries. I said that when I was so afraid for her that I wasn't thinking. I'm sorry. Come back to bed."

"But it was my idea to take her riding that day," Robert said, refusing to believe her new interpretation. "None of this would have ever happened if she'd stayed inside with you and Sybil." They lonely bed beckoned him forward.

"It was a terrible accident, Robert," Cora's hands moved up and down his shoulders, preventing him from moving. "And didn't you say you were the same age as Mary and Edith when you learned to ride? And both Mama and Papa agreed it was a great time to teach Mary and Edith to ride. Besides, Mary did well."

"Mary isn't Edith. Mary is strong and confident, but Edith more of our protection." Robert said, still refusing to accept her forgiveness. "She wasn't at all comfortable on her pony that day." The image of her falling off her horse flashed through his mind again.

Cora turned around to face him. "But Edith is fine, now. Her arm has healed, and her bruises have vanished. In fact, you can see how well she is for yourself." Her warm hands touched his cheeks. "Robert, I've already forgiven you. I think it's time you forgive yourself."

His own hands reached up to touch hers, marveling at her ability to love so freely. "Darling, you're more than I deserve. How do you do forgive so easily?"

"You're worth it; Robert." Cora said, with a cross between a giggle and almost tearful. "I wish you could see in you what I see. You're the most loyal man I've ever met, and you always take responsibility for your mistakes…Even when you don't need to." His heart swelled with love for her.

Almost inevitably, their lips touched, kissing each other over and over again as if they couldn't get enough of each other. Robert knew he would never get enough of Cora.

And wasn't he certain Cora would never embrace him again just earlier today? He was so grateful to be wrong, as she was giving him much more than just a hug. "I really thought…you'd never touch me like this again." Robert mumbled between kisses. She felt so deliciously warm.

"Oh, darling, I'm so sorry I made you think that" she said, burrowing her head into his shoulder. "I lose my head when the children are injured or sick, you know that. But I never should have made you think I didn't love you anymore. Nothing could change that."

"But I adore what a wonderful mother you are, even if it causes you to lose your head," Robert said wiping the tears he felt against his shoulder with his hand. "You show love to everyone so…effortlessly."

"Your mother doesn't seem to think it's a good thing," Cora said with a sigh, and he knew she was remembering Mama's lectures about spending too much time in the nursery.

"And despite what Mama thinks, she's not always right," Robert said firmly. He kissed her head, then her forehead. Although Mama had been correct to worry about their Edith on the pony…The image his daughter's fall flashed through his mind again before he could stop it.

"Robert," Cora said in her gentle way. "I wish you would stop focusing so much on Edith's injury. I meant what I said before. Come into the nursery tomorrow with me and see how well Edith is doing now. If the nursery is good enough for Lady Downton, it's good enough for Lord Downton as well."

Robert had never figured he would ever enter the nursery, especially not for a mere daughter. But he grinned at the image of he and Cora in that room together, watching Edith play without her cast or ugly bruises. "Sounds like a fine idea, darling," he said leaning in for a kiss.

Their mouths exploded again as their tongues danced, and Robert was growing hot. Too hot for clothing. "Let's go in my room," Cora said breathlessly when they withdrew. "I asked you to come to bed, remember?"

"Ah, yes, you did," Robert said, sounding far more excited than he should for an Englishman, but he didn't care about that when he was only in the presence of his wife. The much larger bedchamber welcomed both of them, complete with its blue walls, chaise lounge, and canopy bed. Robert climbed onto the bed he was certain he would never use again.

Then he reached under her nightgown, reveling in the opportunity to touch his wife so intimately. Her thighs. Her stomach. Cora giggled a little at that, and he moved his hand upwards.

When she touched his lips once again, he knew he needed tor remove his own undergarments quickly.