V

Valentina looked around the crowded room and smiled. It was a nice place Jay had picked out. It was crowded without feeling suffocating. The music wasn't blasting out of the speakers too loudly, and as a bonus the bottoms of her shoes didn't stick to the floor. There were all kinds of people too. A group of girls around one table were gossiping and giggling over martinis. Further in, a couple sat closely together and spoke quietly to one another across the table. At the bar every other chair was occupied by men and women of varying ages.

She watched as Jay left the bar with two bottles of beer and walked towards their table. He sat down opposite her and placed the glass bottle in front of her.

"Here you go!"

"Thanks!" she immediately brought the bottle to her mouth to take a sip of the cool liquid and let it run down her throat. Jay copied her movements.

"Does your family know that you're back?"

"What do you think?" Valentina sneered. "Nothing good would come of that and you know it."

Jay starred at her for a minute before he lifted his bottle and took another sip. While he didn't speak, he wasn't silent. His eyes told Valentina everything that she needed to know. He didn't agree with her decision or conclusion. But why, was a mystery. He has always known about her difficult relationship with the members of her family. It was something he could relate to as he didn't exactly have an uncomplicated one with his own family. He had never taken a stand on the issue before though.

"Are you sure about that?" he said.

"Last time I spoke with my parents, my dad called me a fool for joining the army and said that he never wanted to see me again. I'm pretty sure that is not a conversation I want to have again."

"That was years ago. A lot could have happened since then." Valentina shook her head and turned her focus towards the bottle in her hand instead.

The topic of her family was sensitive. For so many reasons. She didn't hate her family. Just the opposite in fact. They meant so much to her, and that was the issue. Their words held so much more power than anyone else's and therefor hurt so much more when they were vicious or said in order to put her down. There was so much hurt between them now that could not be undone simply by time.

"Why are you so adamant about this?" Valentina wondered. Jay shrugged his shoulders and looked around the room with a faraway look in his eyes.

"Will is back in town. It's been good to have him around again and it's got me thinking about everything with dad. It's too late for us but it doesn't have to be for you and your family."

Valentina smiled gently at her friend. Like her, Jay had a complicated relationship with his family. It was one of the things that first bonded them when they joined the same unit. They both knew the loss and devastation of being at odds with one's loved ones.

"It doesn't have to be too late for you either, not if you don't want it."

"I don't know." Jay sighed. "I wouldn't even know where to begin with him."

"I hear you!"

A glass fell to the ground somewhere in the bar and smashed into a hundred pieces. The sound cut through the ambiance and Valentina jumped slightly in her seat. She had gotten better at not getting rattled by normal sounds that came unexpected, but sometimes they still managed to catch her unawares. Her heartbeat sped up slightly inside her chest and she had to take a couple of deep breaths to get it under control again.

"Are you okay?" Jay questioned. Valentina simply nodded in reply. "Are you going to tell me what happened over there, or do I have to guess?"

This was the reason why Valentina had been so apprehensive about approaching Jay. He just knew without having been told a single thing. She couldn't hide from him, and in a way, she liked it that way. But it forced her to relive things she rather forgot about. Things that hurt. Open wounds that would not stop bleeding.

Jay wasn't stupid. He knew this. He had been through this himself. The only difference was that he had done it on his own and it had not been pretty. He didn't want that for Valentina, not if he could help it. She shouldn't make the same mistakes that he did and push everything away without dealing with it and letting it hurt.

It was healthy to feel and admit that what had happened was horrible. You had to endure the pain of the mind just as one had to with physical pain. As it slowly started to heal and the bruises started to fade, so did the pain. But if you ignored the injury and carried on as if nothing was wrong, it could do more damage.

"It was an ambush, and the convoy was attacked. We hit an IUD. I was in the second Humvee suiting up and was thrown back by the blast. I was pierced by shrapnel and took a nasty blow to the head. From what I've been told, I was pinned down for over and hour before help arrived." Valentina looked down at her hands as they fiddled with the label on the bottle and avoided Jay's eyes. "I remember the heat from the fire and having trouble breathing from the weight upon my chest. And the pain. I remember the pain the most."

"How bad?" asked Jay.

"I was in and out of consciousness for about a week. Got to spend almost a month in hospital and rehab to be able to somewhat move around on my own again. I have a big scar across my chest from where the metal from the car pierced me. But I was lucky, I made it out of there. Some of us didn't."

The well-known images from that day came to the forefront of her mind, like always. Smoke and dirt filled the air. Screams. Horrible screams that pierced through the ringing in her ears as she frantically tried to look around her but could only see twisted metal and sand. The heat as it came closer and closer. The images played in front of her eyes for a few minutes before Valentina managed to shake herself out of her stupor. She waited another few minutes before she broke the silence between them.

"So, how have you been? I see you became a cop." Jay gives her a wry smile but takes her change of subject in stride.

"You know how it is coming home with all that baggage… It wasn't pretty there for a while but then one day I woke up and realized that I couldn't keep going like that and went out for an application. Figured it would be somewhat similar to the military. It helped, keeping busy and feeling like you helped even when it sometimes didn't work out. It made it a little bit easier going to bed at night."

"Yeah, I know what you mean." Valentina took a sip of her beer and thought about how she sometimes considered her work to make up for the red in her ledger. "Let's talk about something less depressing. You've mentioned Will and your team… now, is there anybody special in your life?" she teased.

"I don't know what you're talking about." His mouth might try and deny it, but the stupid grin he wore said it all.

"There is!" Valentina exclaimed. "Tell me!"

She was halfway across the table in her excitement and both she and Jay laughed at her enthusiasm. It was such a relief to laugh and be excited like this, about something silly and normal. She already felt so much lighter than when she walked into this bar an hour earlier. Just being in Jay's company did that. With him she was safe. She didn't have to pretend. She didn't have the burden of keeping her walls up because he already knew the ugly. So she laughed a little more.