A/N: Hiiii! This message is for the person who is enjoying this story, thank you so much. I love that you love this story. I really only write Ichihime stories, but I wanted to try something different and you really have encouraged me to continue on. I am writing this story for you now and I really hope that you like it and that you're enjoying yourself. I will try to keep updating quickly for you. I just really wanted you to know how much I value you and how much I love your reviews. You really inspire me.
"I seem to be torn between 'I wish we'd met earlier' and 'I wish we'd never met'."
― Ahmed Mostafa
Beck
"Salutations Jade…" Salutations? What the fuck is that all about? I sound like an incredible douche. The look of disbelief on her face melts into a look of disgust. Yep, here we go.
"Salutations? Really? Who are you, Christian Slater from the Heathers? What, are you going to kill me and all of my friends and write terrible suicide notes before you blow yourself up? Do me a favor and get it over with quickly, before I have to witness your descent into the complete douche that I always knew you could be. 'SAlUtaIoNs' What a fucking moron." She mutters as she takes her bags into the spare room of Jalisia's apartment. I look down and sigh deeply before looking up at Jalisia. She's holding back a smile.
"Well…?"
"I'm sorry, you kind of deserved it," she laughs and closes the door before walking towards me. She wraps her arms around my waste and gives me a small peck on the cheek. "It was harsh though, I'm sorry." I put my arms around her to give her a small squeeze. I know that things are going to be a bit more weird now with Jade living with her. But that's not what's bothering me.
What's bothering me is, despite her scathing response to me telling her salutations…her eyes are puffy and red. Like she's been crying…
The phantom pang squeezes my heart and the small desire to go check on her, to see who or what has made her upset passes through me. The moment is a fleeting thought. I turn my attention back to Jalisia.
"Yea, I already know that she will never let me live that down. You know, I blame you, I feel like whenever I'm around you, I'm not cool or in control."
"I think I have that effect on a lot of people," she smiles seductively as she captures my lips in a kiss. I can feel myself stirring, but I have to go. I have an early shoot tomorrow morning. I deepen the kiss, but only for a few moments before breaking it.
"I have to go. Ill text you when I make it home."
"Kk," she walks me to the door, and we exchange one last kiss before I leave.
It doesn't take long before Jade's red, puffy eyes sneaks their way to the forefront of my mind. I can't wrap my head around what could have hurt her so much to make her cry. Let alone, for there to still be evidence of the tears visibly on her face. Jalisia told me that Jade had gotten the role of Mimi for the revival of the musical Rent. It's a pretty good role, a big and meaty role too. For someone who's never performed on Broadway, and for her to be so young to get such a role, it's amazing. She should be on top of the world.
So why would she be crying? I wonder if everything is alright.
Visions of her holding on to Andre, looking at him as he was her, everything flashes briefly. Them leaving together in the Uber. The way she looked at me with hatred and malice.
Whatever.
She doesn't need me to worry or feel bad about her. And I won't do it. It's not my burden anymore.
I hear my phone and I see that it's Robbie calling.
"Yo!"
"Yellow, yellow! It's Robbie."
"I know who it is, thanks to this new piece of technology called a cell phone with saved contacts."
"Ooh feisty, what happened? Did you run into Andre and Jade again?"
"Nope…just Jade this time."
"Man, that's crazy. You go 3 years without hearing from her or anything about her and now, boom, your lives are super intertwined now with you dating a girl that she knows."
"She doesn't only know her, she is best friends and now also living with her."
"Why is she living with her? Is it so that she can spy on the two of you and convince her friend not to date you?"
"I don't think she would do something like that."
"Come on man, it's Jade. Ruining someone's life is kind of her M.O. I can come up with a list of like, 20 things in one minute of the different ways that Jade has, in some way or another, ruined someone's life."
"True, but she's living with her now because she got a role on this Broadway show. So I guess it's easier, or cheaper or something, I don't know, I didn't really ask and I kind of don't really want to know anymore about Jade. So can we please change the topic?"
"Sure, I was calling anyway to ask you something."
"No you cannot use my special conditioner, in fact, I noticed that when you shipped the rest of my things, that it wasn't there."
"Oh really…that's wild I definitely shipped it, maybe someone stole it. Aha ha ha."
"Robbie,"
"Come on, I have never had more great hair days in my life. This stuff feels like chinchilla fur. By the way, that's not what I'm calling to ask about. Cat is coming at the end of the week, so she's going to be my roommate. At Least for a little while. But she did run into Tori. She wanted to know if she could give Tori your number?"
I stopped cold.
Tori…that's really…complicated.
"Um…I don't know. I don't think that's a good idea. Things are kind of weird between us."
"I know, I know. Which is why I wanted to ask you. However, I had mentioned to Cat that you were going to be in New York for a while filming a show for Netflix and she said that Tori is going to be around those parts."
"What the fuck man…might as well call Sikowitz and Sanjin and makes this an entire Hollywood Arts reunion."
"Sikowitz came to my show not too long ago."
"Really? How is he doing?"
"Same old, same old. You know, not wearing shoes, stealing packets of salt."
"That tracks. I also heard that Sanjin is still out on the lamb."
"Yea…I heard that they are still finding bodies."
"Yea…he was…a lot more crazy and dysfunctional than we could have ever thought."
"Not more so than Cat's brother."
"We really shouldn't talk about him."
"We really shouldn't."
A stony silence passes between us as the more sobering and uncomfortable conversation passes. Growing up around a couple of psychopaths was not something that was on anyone's bingo cards…well…maybe except for Cat's…and Jade's.
"So is that a no to Cat giving Tori your number?"
"Yea, that's going to be a no."
"Alright cool. I'm going to try and get a nap before my shift starts. I'll talk to you later man."
"Kay." The line disconnects.
Tori…
Yea, my life is complicated enough. I really don't want to add her to the mix.
.
.
.
"Alright, so when she falls down, I want you to look at him, like he's the missing piece and that you're starting to put shit together, alright? Like you have to have this wild look in your eyes, but also, there is still some fear."
I nod as the director points and explains his vision for the scene that we are filming. I've done it 4 different times, but there is still something off to him. Today has been a long day and I'm tired. I'm literally running off 3 monsters and a kit kat bar for energy. I won't have to dig deep to portray a crazed, tired man because that is exactly what I am right now. Good news is that after today's shoot, I can go see Jalisia. Bad news is, that means that I will be seeing Jade.
I don't want to see Jade.
"You know what, I think that you should walk to him, like you're going to choke him. Like, but subtly, because before you're able to make it over there, you'll hear a commotion and then you'll jet out of there."
"Okay, I can do that." I told him.
"Good? Yea, okay, let's do it. POSITIONS EVERYBODY, WE ARE TAKING IT MAGGIE FALLING OUT!" Make up comes over to me and quickly dab at my face as I move over to my spot. I immerse myself in the role, putting my mindset in that of my character. I take a deep and calming breath as I imagine taking off my mask and putting a different one on. I'm ready.
I hear action and I disappear into the role, becoming the man.
I see Maggie falling out a few moments after taking a sip of her drink. I look at Mark and I can see him looking slightly frightened.
But it's not because of what happened to Maggie…it's because of what didn't happen to me. That son of a bitch is in on this. He knows what the fuck is going on, he knows who's doing this to me. He could be the one that is doing this to me. I'm going to fucking murder him.
"You son of a bitch," the words fall softly from my lips as I make my way towards him. I stop when I heard the loud thumping sound.
Someone's in here!
"CUT! PERFECT! THAT'S WHAT I WAS LOOKING FOR. Great job Beck, we finally got the shot." He gives me a rough pat on the back. "That is superb. I know it was a lot of retakes, but it was worth it."
"Thanks, I'm glad that we were able to get it right."
"Alright, let's just finish up this scene now and we'll be good to go. Alright EVERYONE IN POSITION!"
.
.
.
One more scene turned out to be several retakes. It ended up being around 830 when we stopped filming. It was a really fucking long day. I was exhausted. I pulled out my cell to call Jalisia.
"Hollywood. It's getting kinda late."
"I know, I know. Filming just wrapped up for the day. I would still love to hang out if that is okay with you?"
"Yea, sure. I can order some food, what are you in the mood for?"
"Anything I'm starving. I have not had any real food today."
"Indian it is. What's your eta?"
"Umm…30 minutes?"
"Cool beans. See ya then." The line disconnects, and I can already feel my spirit lifting a bit. Although I am really tired.
It isn't long before I'm at Jalisia's place and I can smell the biryani and curry drifting from her apartment. The door opens and I'm greeted by Jalisia as she gives me a small kiss on my cheek.
"Hey Hollywood, aww poor thing, you do look worn out."
"I guess it takes a lot out of a person being mediocre on a Netflix drama that has been done a dozen times before." sigh. I look up and there she is. Creamy white skin, long dark hair that is surprisingly straight, and piercing blue-green eyes that are very reminiscent of the Cheshire cat and full of malice.
"Hello Jade," I sigh. How could I forget that she would be here.
"Salutations," she responds in a mocking manner.
"Baby girl, be nice," Jalisia admonishes her, but I can tell that she secretly likes it when Jade is mean. I get it, I used to like it too.
Jade raises her hands in defense. "Fine, I'm just out here to take my food and go back to my room in peace anyways. I have a meeting tomorrow and I don't have time to play nice."
"Okay, well then goodnight babe," Jalisia says to her.
"Night,"
"Good night Jade," I call out to her retreating form.
"SAluTAtioNs" she responds. "What a fucking loser." I hear her mutter as she closes the door to her room. I can't help but laugh just a little bit. I'm torn between thinking that she has grown as a person, and that she is still exactly the same person.
Is this relief that I feel?
.
.
.
Fuck!
I look around the complete, unfamiliar darkness. I must have fallen asleep because I don't remember going to sleep. I look down and see Jalisia's arm draped around me. I must have fallen asleep in her bed.
Shit.
I have an early shoot today, what time is it?
I check my watch and see that it's 5:45 am. I mean, it's not late, but I do need to get home and shower and change so that I can make it to the set by 7. Fuck man. I think I can swing it.
I gently detangle myself from Jalisia. She moans softly before turning to the other side and snuggling more deeply into her sleep. She's so adorable.
I quickly put on my shoes and grab my phone before quietly sneaking out of her room. I make my way quietly to the living room and who else would I see but Jade. She has tight, black jeans on with the entire front missing as if they are some shorts, jeans hybrid and a very tight white tank tucked tightly into the jeans and barely concealing her ample cleavage, spiked black boots and a leather jacket with her strangely straight hair, down and flowing about her as she puts items into a bag.
How the fuck does she always manages to look so beautiful?
"Look what the cat vomited up." She greets me without looking at me.
"Funny. I knew that you had to move in with Jalisia, but I didn't know it was because you've fallen on hard times. Do you need to borrow some money so that you can buy the rest of your pants that are clearly on layaway?" I retorted.
I can see the smile fighting not to make an appearance on her face. She stands up and faces me fully, crossing her arms, definitely in front of her.
"Like I would ever take fashion advice from someone who saw a lumberjack and decided that was the pinnacle of high fashion."
"As I recall, you used to love plaid."
"I also used to love drinking milk while eating pizza at 10: 30 in the morning. And just like you, it gave me massive stomach issues. Now if you excuse me, I have to make my way to The Osprey, and riding the subway is absolute hell." She grabs her bag and pushes past me towards the door.
"Hey, isn't that in Brooklyn? That's where I'm headed, maybe we should walk together?" It's still pretty dark out and for some reason, her outside in that outfit makes me feel very nervous for her safety.
"I would rather get mononucleosis that go anywhere with you." She snorts, opening the door.
"Well I hope you took your vitamins, because I am coming with you." I'm not letting her go out there by herself.
She doesn't respond, but she does wait for me to exit so that she's able to lock the door. She walks quickly ahead of me and I have the feeling that she is trying to hurry away from me. It doesn't work, my legs are longer than hers and I am able to keep pace fairly easily. We walk in an uncomfortable silence all the way from Jalisia's apartment, to the subway, which is a few blocks away. To be completely honest, I am a little bit grateful to walk with her. She clearly knows her way around the city and I would need my maps and some assistance to make it to the subway. I keep thinking back to the sight of her red and puffy eyes, and I really want to know what made her so upset. What made her cry. Jade doesn't like to cry, she doesn't like to express emotions that aren't irritation and anger. So while I do know that she does get sad, what on earth would make her so sad that she would cry, and not only cry, but cry enough to have swollen eyes?
Once at the subway station, we stand somewhat near each other and for some reason I feel a need to break the silence.
"So…I heard that you got a pretty big role-"
"No, don't do this, don't try to break the awkward silence with small talk and conversation."
"What? I am only being polite."
"For who? I won't satisfy you because you feel uncomfortable. You discomfort is not my problem or my responsibility. This station is big enough for you to not be near me."
"Of course, you have a problem with everything and everyone. Why do I even fucking bother?"
"Why do you then?" She says tartly, turning her bright greenish blue eyes towards me, actually looking me in my eyes. Their beauty is not lost on me, however I could care less about them. My blood is beginning to boil as my fury ignites.
"I'm making a fucking effort to be kind to you. Something that you fully and truly do not deserve by the way, for the sake of Jalisia. You're important to her, for whatever fucking reason. But believe me, I would love to never see you again, or speak to you again."
"Then don't! I was doing completely fine without you in my life and I promise you I would do fine if I never see you again."
"Then go ahead and disappear again. I didn't come searching for you, and although you may not believe this, because for some reason the entire world have to revolve around you and bend to you fucking impossible will, I don't want to be apart of your life. You are a reminder of everything that went wrong in my life and I don't like being confronted with it when I'm around someone who actually makes me happy."
She opens her mouth to say something but stops. Her eyes become unreadable and her face becomes stoney. She turns from me and crosses her arms in front of her.
I feel worked up and angry. I want to move away, I want to go someplace far from her. But I can't leave her. I don't want anything to happen to her. I don't want her out of my sight.
I just found her, and I will be damned if she disappears on me again.