What Love Gave Us
by
Ava LeBeau
Six
"Oh. My. Gosh… Jenny's right, that guy's a real bae," Hannah said and looked at Anastasia who was standing by Hannah's desk, trying to find out where Jack was.
"But I'm sure that's nothing but a facade, Ana, thanks to a rich daddy and a good-looking momma, whom I doubt has taught him how to give affection," Hannah continued her monologue.
"He probably demands his girlfriend send him pics of the outfit she's wearing today… and when she dares to have a cheat day he probably can't get it up for a whole week because he's too put off by that food baby," Hannah rolled her eyes, "Liposuction for the win."
"I… don't know," Ana said absent-mindedly, chewing on her lip, "I barely know him."
"Yeah, right, I bet you do… and that you're just friends, right?"
"Friends…mhh," Anastasia shrugged.
"You know, friends don't look at friends that way, Ana," Hannah chuckled.
"What? No… I… wasn't aware…," Anastasia furrowed her brow.
"Yeah, right," Hannah's eyebrow quirked up and she shot several glances at her colleague, stapling a stack of papers before she put them into a folder.
"Guess what, Ana? Girls don't want friends, they want men. Anyway, gotta love those trust fund boys, you know, they're probably friends with a lot of people… making money since the day that they're born, coked up twenty-four-seven," Hannah said and let out a snort.
"Hannah, don't…," Anastasia said, her eyes growing wide while anxiety was quick to make her stomach feel all knotted up, but it was already too late.
"Anastasia?"
Hannah's mouth fell open when Christian stopped in front of her desk.
"Mhh, yes, Christian" Ana walked around the table to join him on the other side in an attempt to avert his attention while Hannah hugged the file to her chest as if it were a shield to save her from further harm, her chin dipping down as she mumbled a quick, "Excuse me, please" before she made a beeline for Jack's deserted office.
"She was only joking, Christian," Anastasia lifted her hands to placate him, suddenly worried that Hannah's rant could have dire consequences.
Christian let out a husky laugh, furrowing his brow ever so slightly, his gaze searching Anastasia's, "Don't worry, she was probably right."
"About the coke thing?" Ana folded her arms in front of her chest, suddenly curious, all the while recalling Kate's recollections of some of Elliot's parties.
"No," he grinned, "I prefer to keep a clear head, Ana. Anyway, I thought you were probably already looking for this," he held out Ana's mug.
"Oops, where was my head," she smiled up at him and reached for the cup, careful to steer clear of his hand.
"You tell me," he grinned.
"Hm," she shrugged and pressed her lips together, trying to disguise a rather ambiguous grin.
"Oh?" Christian arched a perfectly manicured eyebrow and let out another laugh before he lowered his voice and nodded his head towards Jack's office, "What the hell is a food baby?"
Anastasia laughed and patted her perfectly flat stomach, "Well, more of those prosciutto sandwiches would definitely have potential to give me a proper food baby."
An amused grin crept across his features, his gray gaze fixed on her hand on her stomach for a moment, "I see."
Ana nodded, shifting from one foot to the other, unsure what to say next.
But the buzzing of Christian's phone spared them a moment of awkward silence.
Christian lifted his index and mouthed a quiet "I'm sorry" as he answered the phone, "Andrea? Yes, I'm free now."
Anastasia squirmed under his piercing gaze, his eyes a darker shade of platinum now. She inspected her cuticles for a moment, trying to act bored yet fully aware that she was blushing badly while she was eavesdropping on the quick exchange between what would be a boss and Andrea, whom she presumed to be his assistant.
When Christian said, "Thanks for the update, I'll call you back later, okay?" it felt like Ana was resurfacing from an ocean, drawing in a deep breath as if she were steeling herself against the most confusing mix of feelings and that most delicious desire that only their banter could incite.
Friends don't look at friends that way… Hannah's voice echoed in her head.
Her dark blue gaze met his when he stowed the phone away.
"I'm sorry about that," Christian said and smiled, "where were we?"
"Mugs, food babies and—"
"Coked up trust fund boys?" that cheeky grin made her chuckle but she tried to make sure, just in case, "She's not in trouble, right?"
"What? No, of course not," he shook his head, grinning, "You're rather worried. Why's that?"
"I- I don't know," she looked up at him, "I mean, we all barely know you. And you're kinda hard to… read…," Anastasia pulled her bottom lip between her teeth only to let go when she noticed his gaze darting to her mouth.
"It's always hard to penetrate a mystery," he smirked before he let out a sigh and said, "Listen, I'm used to people painting my name black," Christian nodded, "but I'm surprised to hear that you find me hard to figure out."
"That's not what I said," she shook her head, her heart hammering in her chest.
"Hmmm," Christian smiled and said, "I've read up on the trainee program at S.I.P.. How happy are you with the execution of the program?"
Anastasia, once again surprised by his sudden change of topic, searched his gaze, deciding to tread carefully, seeing that she was still unsure of his intentions when it came to S.I.P..
"What?" he furrowed his brow, looking at her and her breath hitched when he leaned closer, his voice low-pitched now, "I wish you would just trust me."
Folding her arms in front of her chest and struggling against an urge to stay right where she was, his face only inches from hers, she inched away from him, her voice firm and business-like when she said, "Not sure I can, Christian."
Christian looked taken aback by her declaration and cleared his throat.
"Alright," he said, pinching his chin between his index and thumb for a moment, "What can I do to prove you can trust me?"
"Is that another trick question?"
"What?" Christian laughed, looking at her in disbelief, "No, of course not."
Anastasia remained silent and tucked a strand of her hair behind her ear.
"Well, just let me know," he said almost dismissively and while his expression seemed blank all of a sudden his eyes were flickering with frustration, "And let me add that I'm appalled at their cheek to fob you off with that pittance and having you work long hours."
Then he glanced down at the watch on his wrist and said coolly, "Andrea should be here any moment. Talk later, Ana."
"Bye, Christian," she mumbled, his last comments had left her confused as had his sudden aloofness. Her mind was racing while she watched him stalking off, the sound of the heavy leather soles of his shoes echoing from the walls as he walked down the corridor.
"And these are the letters you asked me to prepare based on the action memo from last Friday, sir," Andrea flipped the pages of the signature folder, standing right beside Christian, who was sitting behind his desk and nodding quietly as he skimmed over the text. Andrea handed him the fountain pen again and he signed the letters.
"Thank you, sir," Andrea said and, straightening, she gently flipped the folder shut, "Is there anything else I can do?"
"No, thank you, Andrea," Christian said, already scanning his emails while his assistant put the folder into a briefcase, adding, "I'm going to be in the office tomorrow. But I won't be in before ten."
"Yes, sir," Andrea smiled and crossed the room to fetch her coat.
Jack appeared in the doorway and Andrea said, "Hello Mister Hyde."
Christian straightened in his executive chair, squaring his shoulders.
"You remembered my name," Jack smirked and sauntered into the room. The assistant smiled and nodded.
"Christian," Hyde said curtly.
"Jack," Christian replied stiffly, the tone of his voice cold and abrasive. He rose from his chair and walked around the desk to meet Hyde in the middle of the room.
"I guess we really need to step up our game when it comes to the dress code at S.I.P.," Jack Hyde said, incling his head a little, his gaze glued to an immaculately dressed Andrea, who was artfully strutting out of the room in sky-high heels.
"Goodbye, sir," Andrea said and waved her hand, "Mister Hyde," another smile, a brief nod and she was gone.
"I guess you should," Christian smirked and folded his arms over his broad chest, his eyebrow slightly arched. Giving Hyde a once-over he added, "But on the other hand, this plain t-shirt and jeans style of you guys adds to the laid-back spirit here," Christian stated listlessly while he fiddled with his platinum cufflink.
True, he preferred his assistant to be all dressed up to the nines day in and day out, but he would also admit freely that Ana's girl next door approach gave the whole thing a new, very different zest, that jeans and Chucks look of her so pure and cute at the same time. When he allowed himself to let his thoughts wander back to her, Ana, the corner of his mouth twitched.
"Is she always dressed like that?" Jack Hyde asked, not looking at Christian, clearly ignoring the other man's jibe yet dragging him out of his thoughts.
"I prefer my staff to be compliant in all respects. That entails being best-dressed at all times," Christian conceded.
"I like that approach, Grey. Why is she even here? Keepin' the reins tight on her, eh?"
Responding in kind when it came to the other's barb, Christian said, "It's cheaper to have her chauffeured across town at this time of the day. Traffic's crazy downtown."
"That's neat," Hyde said and turned to look at Christian, "Anyway, Jerry and I were wondering if you're free?"
"Sure," Christian nodded, walking back to his desk to pick up his tablet before he followed Hyde out of the room and to Jerry's office.
"As far as the status report is concerned, I still need to consult with someone internally, Jerry. But I will keep you informed of the outcome of the consultation."
Jerry Roach nodded, typing something into the laptop in front of him.
"There's something else I wanted to talk about: The trainee program. I was wondering whether it makes sense to keep it going," Christian's gray gaze darted to Hyde, who was languidly toying with his pen.
"We pride ourselves on the fact that our trainees receive an excellent introduction to the entire publishing industry, Mister Grey. But I'm sure Jack can give you a much deeper insight into the training content. He's developed the whole program after all."
Jerry Roach glanced at Jack, who was frowning deeply.
Christian nodded, "I thought as much," he stopped, only to reinforce his argument, "and I really think it's not viable."
Jack had drawn in a sharp breath but Jerry Roach held up his hand in an attempt to stop him, for now at least.
"I mean, if I got that right the trainees aren't supposed to do their own work and projects but are to support senior staff instead thereby drawing from active resources. That's a rather cost-intensive approach, Jerry."
Christian looked at both men, who sat opposite from him, both stony-faced and brooding. Jerry Roach nodded slowly before he glanced at Jack Hyde again. Christian steepled his fingers, his chin high while he waited for any objection.
Jack drummed his fingertips on the table and took his time before he said, "Well, the trainee program… It was initially created to introduce junior staff to the business in a very deliberate manner. Of course, we also had in mind to attract and select the best, to win them over for us. As you might've noticed, the market situation is tense and we are a small house," he paused for a moment.
"I see," Christian said and leaned closer, trying to push Jack for more information, "And were you successful in your approach?"
Jack glowered at Christian and you could tell that he was struggling keep his voice calm and collected even in the presence of his boss, "Of course we were, just take Ana, I mean, Ms. Steele. I hear you happen to know her?" Jack's icy blue gaze darted to Grey, "She's about to finish the program in spring as you might probably know."
Christian tilted his head a little, staring at Hyde who continued, "Take the anti-starvation project, it's basically hers. I mean, she's without doubt one of the best trainees S.I.P. 's ever had and we would gladly offer her a job."
"Oh? I wasn't aware of that, Jack," Jerry mumbled, glancing at his editor-in-chief.
The fact that Jack lowered his eyebrows and narrowed his eyes didn't go unnoticed and Christian decided to build on what the other had just said, "So, if I'm not mistaken you're kind of admitting that you let a trainee run, what could easily become a multi-million dollar project, on their own? Is that what you're saying here, Jack?"
An ugly tinge of crimson crept across Jack's features and Christian could see a vein popping out in Hyde's neck. Through gritted teeth Jack hissed, "What are you insinuating? That I'm incompetent and reckless? Or would you rather we got rid of all senior management in favor of a bunch of trainees, is that what you're aiming at? Could prove to be more cost-effective after all," he grumbled sardonically.
Christian cleared his throat and looked at Jerry, not deigning a single glance at Jack, saying, "I would never dare to insinuate any such thing, I know just how busy you are, Jack. And despite all that you're always so concerned about the wellbeing of S.I.P. and their employees," Christian tapped the pad of his index finger against his lips for a moment, quick to disguise the grin that ghosted across his mouth.
Jack Hyde nodded quietly, resting his hands on the table.
"And seeing just how busy Jack is I am wondering if Ms. Steele could be available in case of any questions that might arise? That is with regard to the anti-poverty project and in her capacity as the project owner," Christian glanced at Jerry again.
Jerry Roach nodded, "Of course."
"I really think the project has potential," Christian stared at Jack, who faked a smile.
Checkmate.
It was snowing and already dark outside when Anastasia walked into Christian's office, her heart pounding in her chest. She had decided against delaying this conversation any longer, knowing it was best to confront him about the trust issues that had been plaguing their whole situation.
Christian, who'd been typing briskly on his laptop's keyboard, looked up from the screen as she entered, his eyes narrowing slightly as he took in her determined expression. "Ana, what brings you here?" he asked, his voice cool and controlled.
Anastasia sucked in a deep breath and pressed a hand to her throat before she said, "I need to talk to you about something," her voice surprisingly steady despite the nerves fluttering in her stomach.
Christian leaned back in his chair, studying her intently while he rubbed his palms together, "Alright, go ahead," he said, gesturing for her to take a seat.
Perched on the edge of a chair, Ana was fidgeting with the hem of her shirt, "You wanted to know why I find it hard to trust you," she blurted out, her words tumbling out in a rush.
"Mhmm," Christian shifted in his seat, pursing his lips ever so slightly while the rest of his face remained impassive.
"Well, first of all, when it comes to your… intentions… it's… just like I said earlier… uhm… you were dating a lot of women and while it's surely none of my business it's been very difficult for me to understand and accept. That's why I didn't call."
For a moment, she pressed her lips together and looked at him, searching his face for any signs of amusement or condescension even before she continued, "Also asking about my job, if I like it, what I think of their managing approach and such are putting me in quite the dilemma and I am wondering why you can't see this. I mean, are you trying to have me badmouth my employer to you only to go back to them and tell them that there are people out there who aren't happy with the way S.I.P. is managed? That they are not happy with their salary? It makes me wonder if you are aware of the fact that all this could get me fired, Christian? Has this ever crossed your mind, hm?"
Christian's expression changed as he listened to her confession. Shifting in his chair again he crossed his legs, ankle over knee, and said, "Ana, I know I haven't always been the most trustworthy person," his voice was tinged with regret. "And you probably won't believe me when I say that I want you to know that I've realized that my past behavior had the potential to hurt a lot of people and I'm trying to be better."
Anastasia gazed at him, an unsettling melange of surprise and uncertainty washing over her. She could see the sincerity in his eyes and hear the determination in his voice. It was clear that there was more to Christian than met the eye. Actually it had been clear to her ever since that summer night in the garage. And more than anything did she want to believe every single word he'd said. But then there was that nagging feeling again that he had always been quite the smooth talker and all these assurances about being a changed man were nothing more than an old cliché, the right words only to be tossed around to settle any doubts. Swallowing dryly, Ana recalled Kate warning her about him, hell, even Hannah had had nothing good to say.
Her gaze darted to his hand when he rested it on the wooden tabletop, the soft clank of his cufflink cutting through the silence that had enveloped them for a moment, both deeply lost in their thoughts, pondering what to say next, trying to find the right words, both eager to not overstep the delicately frail bounds, both knowing that they were nothing more than acquaintances, now burdened by the fact that Christian was to audit S.I.P, Ana's employer. And still they were here in his office, talking about trust.
"I'm fully aware of the fact that all kinds of relationships are built on trust and honesty," Christian continued. "And I understand if it will take time for you to believe me, but I'm willing to do whatever it takes to earn your trust."
Anastasia nodded slowly, quick to fight back that glimmer of hope that was flickering within her, quick to pull up those walls again, her heart however in her mouth when she admitted, "I want that too. And I would be glad if we could work this out."
But then there was that defiance again, taking both her and Christian by surprise, "Anyway, why would you even care if I trusted you in the first place? I mean, it's hard for me to let my guard down when I feel like there are still so many secrets between us."
Christian looked at Anastasia and concern was etched across his handsome features while a sudden panic was surging through him.
"Because I want to?" was all he managed to admit to, his mouth dry and his voice suddenly thick with insecurity he tried to swallow that lump in his throat.
There were so many things that he wanted so badly to tell Anastasia. Be it, that ever since that night in the garage he, for lack of a better word, cared for her, more than he would like to admit to himself. Or that he hadn't been dating in quite some time and that the tabloids had made up most of the stories over the summer, much to his parents' and his own annoyance. And that there was definitely no reason to not trust him.
But there he was, the notorious Christian Grey, acting all suavely while he was cowardly holding back and inwardly cursing himself for it, just as afraid to let his guard down as she was, knowing full well that she wouldn't believe him anyway, afraid that she would suspect him of simply saying what all women wanted to hear to have his way with her. Yes, maybe he was even holding back out of fear of scaring her away for good.
Anastasia looked down at her hands in her lap and said, "Can you… just say something? Anything?"
Christian nodded, understanding the gravity of their conversation. "I promise I'll try to do better," he said, determination burning in his eyes, "...work on being more transparent with you and earning your trust."
Anastasia gazed into his eyes, more than willing to give him a chance. With a small smile that warmed his heart she said, "I believe you."
"And don't worry about Hannah, I have no intention of getting her into a mess. Same goes for you," he bit the inside of his cheek, aware that he had probably said too much already.
"Thank you, Christian," Ana mumbled and got up from the chair.
Adrenaline pulsed through his body as Christian watched Anastasia leave his office. He knew he had to prove himself to her, actually he wanted to prove himself to her and she sure was hard to convince. As she walked away, he made a silent vow to show her that he was indeed a changed man and that she could trust him when it came to S.I.P..
And even more so with her heart.
A/N: As always, thank you for reading my new chapter and all your kind reviews, feedback and ongoing support.