Disclaimer: The characters are Masashi Kishimoto's property, I own the OCs.

Characters age:

Akane: 12 (45)

Itachi: 12 (29)

Shisui: 15

Naruto / Sasuke: 6

Kakashi: 20

"Boys, stop it." Naruto would poke the band aid on my cheek, then Sasuke would too on the other side. I was currently in Naru's room, on my stomach on the floor, the boys on each side of me as we were going through their History book.

It was January. Snow now covered Konoha. The boys would be seven this year and their first year at the Academy was almost over already, to Kushina-san's sadness because her baby was growing too quickly. I wasn't going on chuunin missions anymore but Root ones exclusively. Some were kicking my ass more than others, but Danzou seemed happy with the results I had. I had an easier time to keep my guilt in check than before. He had not talked to me about the Uchihas yet, but he had said he was curious about how close I was to them because they were not known for loving strangers.

The Hyuugas, I was finally getting somewhere with them, and I'd work with Kushina-san when I could, were fine with me being less available. I was giving results; it was all they cared about. Hizashi-san was advocating for the Branch House to have more freedom, which could spark some…interesting fights between him and Hiashi-san. Hinata and Neji were usually taken elsewhere when it would happen and be put in the room, I was working in.

Neji was curious about what I was doing and wondered if I really were good because of the time it was requiring. Little prick.

I would show up to help Kou and Yasuo train. Fugaku-sensei was fine with it, saying I could give Sayori, their new teammate barely a year older than them, a few pointers on how the boys worked when they'd bicker. I was seeing them when I could. It was easy with Kou, he'd stop by when I was at the Hyuuga Compound. It was harder with Yasuo, because I wasn't a fan of the Uchiha Compound and he had confirmed that while he wasn't trying to be mean, he'd be more comfortable seeing me outside of the Compound.

Apparently, from what Kou had told me, Yasuo's parents had had a few, more than a few, degrading words regarding both Kou and me. It was easy to see that, from Yasuo's reaction, his parents, especially his dad, expected a lot from him and he didn't want to disappoint them or make them angry. I could see the struggle between sharing his parents' opinion on us and knowing us and being our friend.

Talking about Uchihas. Sasuke was spending more time here now to hang out with Naru. I was fine with it, Naru too, I felt more comfortable where I lived than Sasuke's house. However, as much as I had thought Itachi joining the Anbu would keep him from noticing I was busy a little too much; I was not seeing much of him anymore. We were both busy, but I was seeing Shisui more than him and Shisui was also part of the Anbu.

I had never really thought about it, but a well-placed kunai tore up his sleeve and I saw his tattoo. An awkward silence followed where we just stared at each other.

Anyway, I was not seeing much of Itachi. I'd see him maybe once every two weeks if not a month. I could count the number of times I had seen him on my hands. Okay, maybe three hands. It would be for a few hours, and he would hug me or touch me as much as he could. I'd say he was clingy if it was not for the fact we were not seeing each other much. Although, even if his whole situation had shifted compared to before, a part of me was weirded out by him trying to have physical contact with me. The weird look in his eyes he'd get sometimes when we were together, as if he was not entirely there, was making it worse.

I was sure it was his clan. It had to be. I hoped it was them. Maybe they had told him I wasn't proper or something and to put some distance between us. If it were the case though, why not just tell me? It would keep me from getting the worst scenarios in my head. I wanted to ask him, but at the same time, I knew I had not always been honest with him so it would be hypocritical of me to ask him to be.

A part of me didn't want to hear him say he was choosing his clan over me too. It made shivers run up and down my spine. I knew next to his clan I was…well, I wasn't many things, and I wasn't the picture of the perfect clan leader's wife but…I mean, I was important. If I wasn't, he wouldn't have been like this with me for the past years, he would have gone onto finding someone else and not entertain me and my feelings, right?

He never said he loved me since we parted ways and he died but…it didn't mean anything; he had showed he cared. He said he didn't want to lose me after all. There had to be a reason for his behavior.

Huh, look at me, wanting some distance so he wouldn't notice me basically working behind his back and throwing a mental fit because I was sure he was doing the exact same thing.

I should talk to him. Although, I was big on avoiding important conversations if it meant breaking the little stability there was in our relationship.

Let's see how it was going to go then, if it was going too badly then I'll talk to him.

"What do you do on your missions Nee-chan?"

"You're too young," I replied idly, turning the page. "I'm not helping you with homework so you can interrogate me."

"I don't need help," Sasuke reminded us, his arrogance showing. I flicked his nose, which made Naru chuckle.

"I know that look Sasuke, don't you dare walk on my back to get to him," I warned the Uchiha kid, who glared at my cousin. Naru was sticking his tongue at him. "You walk around me, like a civilized person."

"What?" He ran off, followed by Sasuke. Kushina-san was not here, and Minato-san was at work.

An hour later they were sleeping. I went down the stairs, stretching when I sensed someone getting closer to the house. I was…sensing almost all the time since joining Root in case someone was spying on me.

Anyway, Itachi's finger was a centimeter from the bell when I opened the door with a grin.

"Itachi!" I exclaimed in glee. He was taken back, and I cleared my throat. I had been loud. "Sorry, I sounded a little bit desperate." He smiled gently.

"I'm here to pick my brother up." I glanced at the clock on the chest of drawers on my left. It was barely five. "I thought he'd like some training before dinner." I pursed my lips.

"Sure, he's just sleeping right now. They ran after each other a lot," I told him, hiding my disappointment like I could. His gaze was distant for a second, but he smiled at me.

"Do you think I could get some tea then?" I nodded fervently and let him in.

I made him some green tea and poured a cup for myself before sitting down next to him, my smile not leaving my lips.

"You look happy." I blinked.

"Is it weird?" He shook his head and poked my forehead. "I'm just happy to see you." He looked at his tea.

"I know, I am sorry. I am very busy now and I am trying not to neglect Sasuke once more." I nodded.

"Of course, I get it. Don't worry about me." He tilted his head a little, a soft look on his face.

"Come here," he whispered huskily. I blushed. Since his voice had deepened, now being the voice I had fallen in love with and that could get me in some particular states, I was blushing more. I did and he pulled me on his lap in one, swift move.

"Ita…" He put his face just beneath my chin, one hand on my thigh to keep my legs where they were, the other on his cup. I didn't know what to do and stopped moving. We were twelve in a few months, but it was weird and inappropriate for kids to be in this position, wasn't it?

I gazed at the back of his head. He didn't to want to move. I relaxed and closed my arms around him, putting my chin on his head. He sighed against me and buried his face even more in my sweater.

"Are you okay?" I asked him quietly. "I miss you." He nodded against me.

"I am recharging." I blinked.

"Sorry what?" He hugged me.

"Recharging." By hugging me?

"Huh…sure, go ahead…" Damn him for making me blush.

He stayed like this for a few minutes before his hand crawled up my arm. I raised a brow when he lowered my sleeve, showing my shoulder.

"Can I help you with something?" He gazed lazily at my naked shoulder, running a finger on my skin.

"Just doing what I can for now," I heard him mumbling to himself. I opened my mouth and gasped in surprise when his lips were on my skin, his mouth sucking on it. I clenched my hands on his shoulders and buried my face in one of them. He let go once he was satisfied with his job, kissed his work and put my sweater back on.

"A hickey? We're not even twelve yet." He sighed, clearly frustrated by this.

"I'm sick of this." I blinked at him. "Being kids and not being able to do what we used to do." I flushed a deep red.

"We…well it can't be helped…" There were footsteps in the stairs, and I jumped on my feet, drinking my tea in one go.

Itachi's teasing and burning eyes stayed on me a second longer when they left.

Damn him.

He had recognized the look on her face. She would get the same one when he had to leave shortly after arriving before, then said it was nothing when she was thinking the opposite. He was putting distance, but maybe it had been too much at once? He knew how he was when it came to Akane, if he was doing it gradually, he didn't trust himself to do it properly. From the look on her face and her questions, she knew something was up and didn't like it. He didn't like it either.

The Elders loved it though, saying he finally had his priorities straight. It really was no surprise that the two boys who had bullied Akane found themselves in the hospital after mysteriously attacking each other.

Shisui was worried, he knew that, but the older Uchiha didn't say a word. He knew Akane was not a subject he wanted to talk about, that it was too sensitive.

"Did you and Nee-san get in a fight?" Sasuke asked his brother one day as he was helping him train.

"Of course not, we're both busy, that's all." Sasuke didn't seem to believe it.

"Then if you're so busy, where do you find the time to hang out with Izumi?" Itachi looked at him with a frown. "We saw you the other day in town."

"Who's 'we'?"

"Naruto and I." He was relieved. "I told him not to tell Nee-san, but he wanted to punch you." The young Uzumaki had become protective of Akane since he knew her mom and brother were dead. He didn't reply to people saying things about Kyuubi, but once talked a shopkeeper's ear off for calling his sister a foreigner.

This whole xenophobia was getting worse.

"The clan is part of the reason I am busy, and it is the main reason you saw me with Izumi." I was true. He was afraid him and Shisui wouldn't be enough like the first time, and Izumi was one of the few people in his clan who did not seem too brainwashed. She could be a good ally. It did not mean anything else.

"Hn." Sasuke did not look convinced. "Well, if you start dating her, I can marry Nee-san when I'm older." Itachi furrowed his brows.

"I didn't know your crush was this strong." Sasuke shrugged. "She needs to agree you know."

"She already said I was her favorite Uchiha." Yeah, he was not a big fan of this. "And she said she'd teach me kenjutsu when I graduate."

"Did she now?" He nodded. "You have a few years to go then, and maybe she'll have a boyfriend."

"At this rhythm, it won't be you." Was Sasuke on a mission to be a pest today?

Opening the Police Forces to other clans was on its way. Well, had been because there had been technical issues. Not enough supplies, contradictory instructions, anything that could discredit his clan had happened a few days earlier and it prompted the other clans to criticize them, which the Uchihas returned. Ultimately, the Hokage, who was there to supervise things, had to intervene and told everyone to go home before talking to his father for more than three hours.

There were rumors of sabotage and such, but who would do that? The most extremist of the clan were under suspicion now, it was not pretty. If Uchihas started to fight among each other…

Izumi's mother worked at the Police Force, asking Izumi to help him would be less suspicious than him suddenly showing up at his father's work. Izumi shared his point of view so she agreed to help him, saying he could count on her. She did bring up the possibility it was possibly someone in the village not wanting his clan to be more integrated that could have done this.

Danzou's name popped up in his mind. He could have used his agents to sabotage a few things, it was right up his alley after all.

However, Danzou had not tried to get to him yet.

This thing was taking a turn. Minato was alive, of course things would be different. However, there was a difference between his clan planning a coup without wanting to be integrated, and his clan warming up to this idea but not being given a fair chance.

"I asked Akane." Itachi frowned at Shisui. "Hey, she's still the Hokage's goddaughter, she's bound to know a few things!"

"And?" he inquired with a sigh.

"Minato-sama told her your father was embarrassed and that it was not the quality the Uchiha clan prides itself to have. The Hokage knows that and told him maybe it was too soon." Itachi leaned his cheek in his hand, the spoon of his dessert in his mouth.

"Hn." Shisui's eyes became more serious.

"I know, I think the same." Sabotage then. Minato thought so too, probably his father too, but who knew if they thought of the same possible culprits.

These two were trying to make things work, if someone was trying to ruin this then…

Minato and his father had more reasons to make things work than the Third and his father. Sure, the village and everything that came with it, like the Third, but their families. Their wives were friends, their sons…they would have too much to lose if the tensions dug a gap too big for them to breach.

Between missions, his brother, and his clan, he had little time for seeing anyone. The few times he would see Akane, it would be in town so he could leave quickly if he needed to.

"Itachi, don't take it the wrong way but you don't look fine," Akane told him as they were leaving a bookshop.

"Hn." She sighed and poked him on the chest.

"If there's something on your mind…"

"I'm fine," he cut her off, stepping back. Akane was stunned at his response, and he sighed, rubbing his temple. "Sorry, I've been on edge lately."

"I can see that."

"Itachi-kun!" Izumi stopped next to them, leaning on her knees as she was panting. "There's a clan meeting." He fully turned to her.

"Since when?"

"It was decided half an hour ago." He nodded and started walking away. He glanced at Akane above his shoulder, who was confused.

"Sorry, I'll see you later."

"…sure?" He pursed his lips and went back to her.

"I really will," he insisted in a whisper. She hugged her purchase against her and nodded.

"Of course, you have responsibilities, you go do them," she finally said with understanding in her voice. He smiled faintly. If they were not in public; and if Izumi's eyes were not burning a hole in his skull, he'd kiss her. "Be careful." He nodded and left.

He did not notice Akane's eyes on them both as they blended in the crowd.

I was doubting. Itachi had blown me off to leave with Izumi a few weeks ago and I stood there, my books against me as I watched them, the Uchiha crest taunting me on their back. I had looked at myself in the shop window. My hair reached my shoulder blades, with bangs framing my face, with small waves in it. I was in the middle of my growth-spurt, so I was a hundred and sixty centimeter-tall already. My body was…like an almost-twelve-year-old, my breasts would never get too big anyway. I had plain clothes on I had to admit, black pants, shoes, and a green coat. I wasn't ugly but…

Well, I did think Izumi was cuter than I was and would be a prettier woman than me. It didn't feel good that Itachi blew me off to leave with her and the crest just…I didn't need to be reminded they had more in common than him and I, or that if things had gone differently, he would have mar…

No, don't think that Akane. Your relationship was strong, it could…go through this. Even with the distance or whatever was happening in his clan he didn't want to tell me about.

I slapped my face. He had his reasons, I had to…trust him. Yeah, just trust him and not let whatever self-confidence issues I had, or doubts that had been following me since he died, get to me. I wasn't telling him everything either, so…he had a right to his privacy. I had to respect it, even if he had gotten me used to having him around and…being close to each other. I just wished he'd tell me something that would put my worries at ease.

"Akane!" I looked up at Kushina-san, holding a dark copper-colored dress. I would be celebrating my twelfth birthday in a week. "What about this one?"

"It's pretty but…" She narrowed her eyes at me. "I have a bandage around my leg, why would I show it?"

"Because it will not make you ugly, far from it." She put the dress in front of me, analyzing it. She nodded, happy with herself. "Go try it on." I wasn't convinced, so she bent down to my ear. "Don't you want Itachi to think you're stunning?" I blushed a little and pinched the fabric of the dress between two fingers. "Ah, I knew it would do the trick."

"Shut up," I muttered, taking the dress to the dressing room.

The dress reached my knees. It had short sleeves just below my shoulders, leaving them naked. The collar was in a 'v' shape, and it was fitted at the waist. I had to admit Kushina-san had a good eye because I was pretty in this.

I left the changing room, opening the curtain loudly. Kushina-san grinned, proud of herself.

"Now I can do your hair, and find shoes and…"

"I'm not a doll."

"You are until I say you're not," she retorted, pointing her finger at me. "At least until you're…let's say fifteen."

"Come on!"

"No, it's 'thank you for making me prettier than I already am'." I rolled my eyes. "Careful or I'm picking a hat."

I managed to find Itachi to invite him. He said he'd do his best to come but that he didn't want to promise me anything. I understood it, he was on a mission on that day after all.

The party happened. It was nice. Sasuke and Naru said I was pretty, Mikoto-san too so I was happy about it. Kakashi said I looked like a girl, I tried to stomp on his foot, but he dodged. A few pictures were taken, but Itachi was a no-show. Sasuke saw it was making me sad, so he tried to say his present was from his brother.

He was such a sweet kid.

In May, as I was enjoying the sun at the spot Itachi had deserted, his voice interrupted my thoughts. I was laying on the ground, my hands as a pillow beneath my head. I tilted my head back, seeing his feet walking fast toward me. Before I knew it, he was laying on me, his whole weight crushing me.

"You're heavy." He just made himself more comfortable. "I can't breathe."

"I might think you're calling me fat," he commented, finally moving aside. He was leaning on his forearms, which were on each side of my head. He started to kiss my cheek, then my face but I turned my head when he tried to go for my lips. "You're mad."

"I'm not…well, I guess I am a little." He pursed his lips. "I mean…We're both busy, I get that but…"

"I'm not here enough." I looked down.

"I'm sorry, I don't want to sound clingy or anything but…" I sat up, Itachi now sitting next to me, but facing me. "I know I can come to the Compound and all, but I also don't want to intrude and…" I sighed. "I know I sound spoiled, but the few times we've seen each other recently you always end up leaving in the middle of it for something, and because I don't want to be overbearing, I tend to stick to my place…" I looked at him with pleading eyes. He was staring at the grass between our thighs in thoughts, a contemplative frown on his face. "Just…if it's too much what there is between us, you can say so and…"

"What?" he interrupted him, an offended look on his face. "I don't want to stop." I couldn't deny I was relieved. "It never was my intention, and I don't enjoy leaving when we're together as well." Itachi saw something in me, like doubt or something, because he cupped my face in his warm hands. "But I don't want to break up." There it was, we really were in a relationship.

"Okay." He raised the corner of my mouth with his thumb, and I chuckled briefly. "I love you." He kissed me on the lips.

It was a real kiss though. There was no tongue, but it was more than a peck. When we broke apart, I was blushing, and so was he.

"Happy birthday by the way," he whispered against my lips.

"I'm forty-five," I reminded him with a pout.

"And I'm twenty-nine, who cares?"

"Anyone if they were to see us." He chuckled and kissed my forehead.

We stayed there for a while, talking or just hugging.

"I've seen the picture," he said suddenly while I was listening to his heartbeat, half-asleep on his chest.

"What?"

"With you and Sasuke, at your party," he added. "You were wearing a dress."

"Oh yeah, I was," I confirmed. "What about it?" He was silent. I straightened up, only to see him with the back of his hand against his mouth, a blush dusting his cheeks. "Itachi?"

"Would you wear it again?" I raised a brow. "If…if let's say we…we were going at the tea house?"

"…are you asking me out on a date?" He looked everywhere but me and I chuckled behind my fist. "Hypothetically, I could if we were going there before your birthday."

"Hypothetically?"

"Hypothetically," I repeated. "If you are asking me on a date of course." He sat up with a deadpan.

"You're making me work for it," he stated flatly. I shrugged with a teasing smile.

"You're not a quitter, are you?" He cocked a brow at me, seeing the challenge.

"Would you go on a date with me?" I nodded eagerly and he pulled me in his arms. "You're the worst."

"So are you 'tachi." We both chuckled.

We set a date and the two times we saw each other after that, I could see the spark of warmth in his eyes I loved so much when he'd look at me. Then, the day was there.

It was cloudy. I went to the tea house at three, like we had decided. He was not there yet, so I ordered for him and I and sat down outside, waiting for him. At some point, I drank my tea.

The issue was, he didn't show up. I'd look at my watch, I could feel the pity glances the owners were shooting me. I kept my head high, but after an hour, the idea of Itachi coming left my mind.

It was strange, wasn't it? Sasuke had told me his brother had the habit of letting him down during this period of his life, that he'd make empty promises and said he would make it up to him. I had felt bad for him to know I loved a man who had failed his brother so much, no matter how much he loved him.

I looked up when the first drop of rain touched my nose. The sky was completely gray now, the clouds pouring water on me. People started to run to find shelter, but I didn't move. I just…stayed under the rain. After all, the warm water on my cheeks was not the rain.

I had known for a while. For years, deep down I had known for years. Really, I should have figured it out when I had first seen Izumi and the way she was crushing on Itachi, and how Itachi was with her. After all, if Itachi…he had said he loved me only once, the last time he saw me, so maybe it really was just a straight-up lie. Shisui had asked him to keep an eye on me, it was easy when I was traveling with them, but then I left and he…maybe it was just pity in the end. I had been friends with Shisui and he felt guilty for his death, so letting me have what I wanted from him was his way to be forgiven for it maybe. Then, the 'I love you' was just him saying what I wanted to say without having to look at me ever again. My son had said Itachi had never loved me. Sure, he was angry about not having a dad, but it was not as if the idea had never been in my mind.

Our relationship was so…odd.

When we recognized each other, maybe he was just trying to find something familiar and then entertained me again? However, now he had his village and his clan back, it was just a matter of time until he stopped needing me. Then, why would he stick around?

Hell, if I had told him about the twins, maybe he would have stuck around just because of the guilt.

I took a deep breath. I felt so drained. It wasn't as if I didn't know how he was. He left once. I had gotten burned once before, why would it be any different? How high did I think of myself to think this time, now he had all these responsibilities, I would be the priority?

I knew I'd never be. It was Sasuke first, the Konoha, then the Uchihas. Of course, the Uchiha crisis with Konoha would be more important. For all I knew, something had come up regarding this and he couldn't get out of it or chose to stay instead of coming because it was more important.

I was stupid, and pathetic. If…if he really cared about our relationship, why would he not tell me? Even just saying he couldn't spare time for me at the moment would be better than this.

I was stupid, and pathetic, and I wasn't sure if I was making any kind of sense anymore. I couldn't just pretend I wasn't seeing his clan or his village after all. He was the heir, one of the most promising shinobi of the Leaf, of course he'd be extremely busy. I wasn't sure I'd be able to take this all over again. And he had to have a wife anyway, and kids. His wife would be a prominent figure and I wasn't…it wouldn't be allowed. A foreigner? Hell no. I'd never be…

I'd never be good enough for him in the end. I wasn't before, I wasn't enough to make him to fight or just reconsider his plan, I certainly wouldn't be enough here either. He wouldn't…He would have said something otherwise.

He would marry Izumi. I could see it now. Izumi with her kind eyes and bright smile, she would make him happy and be a good wife, and then they would have children and live happily ever after. They were in the same world, and it was a world I was not a part of. He would marry her and forget all about me.

It wasn't as if I could have a happily ever after. It was not what Yuureis were for. I'd end up insane. It wouldn't be fair to him to handle this when he had his shot at a happy life. I'd just be his crazy ex, the ghost of his past life haunting him and wanting just an ounce of his attention.

I stood up, an hour and a half after coming, and walked away. I was holding my hands in my back, staring at the clouds.

I couldn't even let go of him because I never had him. The realization twisted guts in painful knots, a pang at my heart. I had been his, and would always be, I knew it. I would always be in love with him, he was the father of my children after all. He had never been mine though.

There was not an ounce of his being that had ever been mine. He had always belonged to Konoha, to his family…never to me.

I put my hands on my stomach. I avoided thinking about my kids as much as possible, being with Itachi had helped tremendously. By being with him, I was with them a little. I couldn't help but wonder if he would have loved them like I loved them. I would tell them their daddy would have loved them to death if he had been with us. Now, I was terrified this had been a lie too.

No, no, even if he didn't really reciprocate my feelings, he would have loved his children. He would have made a great dad, I knew it.

Now Izumi would get to see it.

Itachi would be happy. It was my mission, to make sure he'd be happy, even if it was not with me.

I didn't think it would hurt like this when the fact it wouldn't be with me would be thrown back in my face instead of being an afterthought. I was fine in my denial of this but now…

I had hidden things from him, I had wanted distance for my own good. It was just the result after all. I had wanted things and now was sad at the consequences.

Had I been the one driving him away? Maybe I was after all.

I reached my house and ran to the bathroom to take a bath. Once inside, raindrops knocking on the high window of the bathroom, I sank in the water so it was just below my nose.

Yagura and many people in Kiri used to say it was a waste I had been the one to survive, that my brother should have been the one to live. Yagura used to say that if it was not for him wanting to use me as a weapon, no one would ever need me because I was pathetic and weak, no one would ever fight for me or defend me, that even my mom had given up. No one would want to stay around me.

And guess what? Shisui died, then Mom, then Itachi, they all did leave me.

Maybe…maybe there was some truth to it. I knew he, well Obito, had said all of these to break me, to turn me in his puppet for whatever plan of his. Yet, a tiny voice in my head was telling me that maybe, they were not entirely wrong.

I was a digression in Itachi's life, and he was slowly going back onto the right path. There was no future for us, there never had been. It was silly of me to believe it.

I was an idiot. How much did he pity exactly, especially when I'd say I loved him? I should have taken a hint because he never said it back or that I was pretty and such. Those were things you'd say to your girlfriend, right? Yet, he had had his sweet moments, like when I woke up in the hospital, or when he told me he didn't want to lose me.

He could care for me as a friend after all, but I wasn't sure I'd be able to be his friend and see him move on with his life.

No. I wouldn't be strong enough for that.

I had missions to do. Make him happy and make sure he'd live, make sure Shisui would live, kick Obito down until he begged for his life.

I had to focus on that. I wasn't in Root for nothing. Hell, if I showed my mood was down, I'd get scolded or something because being depressed was feeling stuff.

Get your shit together Akane. Itachi died on you once and you survived. You could survive a broken heart.

Thanks for reading. I hope you have liked it, please do let me know in reviews!

Bye!