Hello, Stargate Lovers!

Happy Sunday!

Hope you are doing well!

This is a good chapter... I hope!

Things are starting to heat up, which is good, because this cold front hitting my country has me holed up in my little, quiet writing nook for the past two days.

I'm not sure if I'll be able to post another chapter until Friday, so... hope this helps you get through the tough week ahead!

Chapter 35: Chapter 5x03

Teyla smiled upon watching Alexandra make faces at Torren while she sat down to rest. The baby was only good as she walked.

"This might be just a phase, Teyla. Torren will start to sleep his hours soon."

"I know. But I just wished he would fall asleep with Kanaan and not just me. I thought it would help once he was back from the mainland."

"Have you made a decision, about returning to the team?" Alexandra was happy to give a break to her friend and to her own work.

With a sigh, Teyla looked away for a moment.

"It's a hard one, Alex. I want to spend time with my son, but also... I enjoy going out on missions."

"I understand that. You know... I would be happy to babysit him, if you and Kanaan would like some alone time. Not to mention, if I'm not off world, he can come hang out with me. It's no problem at all." Alexandra smirked. "Right, buddy? We'll have lots of fun and I love telling stories, so, it's a win-win." Torren gurgled, offering a smile which made the scientist to smile.

"Thank you." Teyla snorted and stared closely at her friend. "You know, I can't help but notice that you seem different."

"Really? I don't feel different." The other woman shrugged, still enjoying the company. "After what happened with Ba'al at his trial, I couldn't wait to get back here."

"Good. We were… Well, honestly, John was worried you wouldn't be back, just like Col. Carter didn't."

Turning her eyes to the athosian, Alexandra frowned a little.

"I... almost didn't. However, Woolsey wanted me back here and now I know why. Didn't expect him to trust me more than just brute force."

"Brute force?" Now, it was Teyla's time to frown.

"You see, we didn't start in the best of terms when the I.O.A started to have a more influential part in the SGC. He was one of the few that wanted me locked up in a lab. Eventually, he came around."

"I can not believe he would be so careless with a human life." Teyla gave her a smile, surprised at her words.

"He was. And he wasn't the only one. However, he's been getting better over the years."

"Good, then." Teyla stood. "I should head back to Kanaan. Me and Ronon are going on an information run." Carefully, she took her son from Alexandra's arms.

"Be careful. You have a little one now."

"I will. Perhaps we could have dinner some time, so you can get to know Kanaan better."

"Sure. I would love that. How about after I return from MS-305?" Alexandra saw her friend nod as she left her office, swaddling baby Torren.

"How is he?"

John looked behind him to see Alexandra still in her gear. He hadn't seen her in three days since she had to check on the status of a research site while Ronon had been missing.

"Recovering. Almost five hours into it." The pilot looked back down at his friend who was thrashing in bed in the isolation room below.

"He's strong." Alexandra approached him and looked down at the angry satedan. "I wish I would have been here... No one told me what was happening."

"It's okay. There was nothing you could have done." John said, quietly.

"Well, Woolsey put me up to speed about what happened in the Wraith lab… How are you feeling?"

"I'm fine. He didn't hit that hard." He said, almost nonchalantly, even if his fingers went to touch lightly on said spot.

The scientist looked up. The pilot was focused on Ronon.

"It's starting to bruise." Alexandra couldn't help on saying, even if she was reprimanding herself silently as she turned away to leave. "I'll be back later to check up on him."

It took John a moment to understand the tone she used. It had been soft, softer than usual, even for her. And he was about to say something, witty or not, when his eyes caught her back disappearing around the corner.

Again that feeling he had, since she had returned from Earth, took him by surprised. She was the same person but, at the same time, she seemed different.

With a sigh, knowing they needed to talk soon, John turned back to the friend that needed his help at the present time.

Alexandra sat in the stool next to his bed. The satedan warrior had calmed down over the past hour since she had reported to Woolsey and taking a shower.

From time to time, she would feel for his energy and it had came out crazy. The Wraith enzyme was too strong and too foreign for her to help him heal. So she didn't even tried, afraid she would do any damage to his body or his mind.

Another hour had passed as Rodney came to relieve her from her watch and Alexandra stretched as she exited the room, deciding to go for a quick session at the gym area.

It had been a long day. Three long days. He should be tired and head to bed.

However, after the meeting with Woolsey and his team, getting to know Teyla's decision, and giving Tyre's sword back to Ronon, his energy level went sky high. The idea of finding some company crossed his mind, but things had changed after his trip to the future.

So, John considered himself lucky as he found Alexandra at the gym, training with one of his officers. His hazel eyes followed her movements, catching the way her leggings shapped her legs and her top hugged her body, sometimes riding up, showing a bit of skin. And, as he watched her, he now knew what was different about her and why she seemed... softer.

"May I take Bishop's place?" John asked once she fell on the ground after being knocked down.

"Sir." Bishop said once he saw his C.O. leaning on the doorframe. "Of course."

"At ease, Lieutenant. Can you give us the room?"

"Yes, sir. Good training, ma'am." Bishop said, helping Alexandra up, before gathering his things and leave.

"Yeah. Thank you." She said, taking her water bottle as she turned to John. "Ronon okay?" For a second, her eyes caught the way his gym trousers clang low on his hips and the way his black tshirt looked good on him. Immediately, she looked away. Oh, that wasn't good... The attraction she was feeling towards him was like a string that suddenly went taut.

Another reason to stay clear of him now that her decision had been made. Act like nothing had changed, like nothing could surprise her. Be a friend. Nothing more.

"Yeah. Keller said he'll be good in no time." John said, entering the room completely and, as Bishop left, the doors closed.

"Shouldn't you be in bed by now, Sheppard?" Alexandra asked with a curious look on her face, turning to him. "I thought you would be done with physical stuff after a punch from a satedan warrior." Her eyes caught the barely there purple bruise on his jaw.

John smirked as he positioned himself on the training mat.

"I got plenty of physical energy left in me, doc. Or are you afraid to fight me?"

Rolling her eyes, even if it was a bad decision, Alexandra approached him. She narrowed her eyes at his tone of challenge.

"Let's see about that, shall we?"

They sparred for a few minutes. Attack and defend.

"Why did you let Bishop win?" John asked at some point as he leaned away from her fist.

"I didn't." Alexandra frowned, diverting from one of his punches.

"Liar."

"I'm not lying." At that, John made her trip and she fell backwards on the mat with him locking her under his body.

"Then why are you letting me win?" It was a split of a second, but his hazel eyes went over her body, a small teasing smile on his lips, enjoying the way he almost felt her curves against him.

"Don't look at me like that." Her voice came out breathless as her heart beat fast, while her brown eyes stared into his own. She would be lying if she didn't want to press her body completely onto his.

"Why not?" He raised his brow, not taking his eyes off hers.

"Because it's weird, Sheppard." Alexandra narrowed her eyes, her hands closed into fists at her sides, stopping herself from pulling him completely down.

"I'm just trying to figure out why you would be lying…"

Suddenly, John felt himself thrown into the air, his back barely hitting the floor before falling softly.

"Because… I'm stronger." She felt angry now. Why did he had push her? Why did he had to see through her? In a second, she stood going for her bag next to the big windows.

Slowly standing, John looked at her. She had thrown him away as easily as Ronon would.

"How?" He stared at her, gaining no answer from her end. His trip to the future came to mind. "You did a bargain with the Ancients."

"No… Why would I do that?" Alexandra turned to him. "You keep saying that."

"Because of me. My trip to the future." John took a step closer.

"Right. You did say that not everything was in your report. Why?"

"Because it concerned you. And the Ancients."

"So you were looking out for me?"

"Yes. No. Of course. Look, everything was a mess. Atlantis was a desert and Rodney was a hologram."

"Isn't that his life goal? To live forever?" She snorted. "That's one way to do it."

"Yeah. But look…" John took another step closer. She was not getting the point. "Rodney said that in order to save me, you went to the Ancients and bargained to get me back. But…" He stopped, unsure.

"But?" Alexandra was the one to step closer to him. Her hand going for his arm, to make him keep going. "John, tell me. If Ancients are involved..."

"You couldn't handle the power. Apparently it was too much. You ended up ascending after using the chair."

Alexandra dropped her hand, thinking back on those days he had been gone.

"I almost did it." She confessed, her eyes quite not meeting his.

"What? Why?" John was confused, but a light of hope flared inside of him.

"Don't get any ideas, Sheppard. I would have done it for anyone." She said before he could say something more.

"I see… I'm not important. I'm just another…"

In a second her hand was upon his lips, stopping his words.

"Don't say that." Her eyes found his again. "Don't say that, John. You are important. For Atlantis. For your friends. You risk your life over and over to save Teyla, Keller, Ronon, McKay… Everyone."

His hand closed around her wrist, looking at her intensely.

"Am I important to you, Alex?"

"Of course you are! You are my friend. Look what I almost did to get you back…" Suddenly, they were just inches apart, enough to feel his body heat. His hand still on her wrist, his touch scorching on her skin. And it was clouding her mind. "What are you..." Alexandra's voice was out of breath at the closeness. "...we doing?"

No more words.

Only actions.

He had to know, he had to take the chance. Kal's influence was long gone, right?

So he closed the small distance remaining, his hand pulling her against his body and his lips found hers.

She sighed in contentment as his body pressed onto hers and his hand looped her arm around his neck and the other found her hip, the sliver of skin between top and leggings. A low groan came out from his chest.

As their lips moved, barely coming up for air, her free hand slid up his arm, stopping at his shoulder to pull him closer as his hands closed around her and pulled her up, making her wrap her legs around him.

"John..." Her breath came out as he trapped her against the wall and his lips started to follow the path of her jaw towards her neck.

"Don't think..." His voice was low, almost a whisper against her skin.

It was so good, she thought, closing her eyes and letting herself go, feeling all at once, the good and the bad... Not caring of the consequences.

The tips of her fingers slid from his chest, to his neck, sensing his heart beat as she placed a peck here and there, wherever she could reach in their current position, always feeling his body moving against hers, or whenever his lips touched a sensitive spot...

Her head fell against the wall, closed her eyes and let all emotions wash over her.

However, in a moment, everything stopped.

Her vision. His body, motionless in her arms. So very different from their current situation.

And she froze the moment her fingers felt the tips of his hair at the nape of his neck.

And he felt it and looked up, not moving from their spot against the wall.

Brown and hazel met.

There was a question in his eyes and her fingers touched his lips again, stopping him from forming words.

John frowned, confused.

"We can't do this, John." One of his hands cupped her jaw softly. "Please..." And the word came out so tenderly that he couldn't just deny her. Slowly, he put her down, not letting her go completely, though. "We are friends, right?" She continued.

"Alex, we can't just be friends. Not after everything that happened in the last few months. Not after this." John finally spoke. "If it's because of my track record..." He almost felt embarrassed.

"It's not." She immediately said. Her hands grabbed his wrists. "I promise it's not."

"Then, what is it? Just tell me. Because..." His hazel eyes flashed for a moment towards her lips. "If it was up to me, we'd be on our way to my quarters right now." He said it slowly, in his usual relaxed tone, even if there was an undertone of frustration. There was a number of things he wanted to do to her in a more private place.

And she almost caved, because she wanted the same. The way he said those words was making her resolve crumble and damn her heart in the end. But the vision was glued to her eyelids at the moment.

"We work together. I'm not that person, John, that can just tumble in the sheets and go to work like nothing happened. I tried that already and it didn't work. It won't work..." The words came out in a jumble and she took a deep breath. "Let's just be friends. Let's leave it at that. You do your thing. I'll do mine. And no one gets hurt." Slowly, she took her hands from his wrists, already missing his touch, his skin, his scent. "Please..."

His jaw ticked. His head was swirling with everything he wanted to say and do. To ask. Why? Why push him away? Why couldn't they try? He knew she felt something by the way she touched him, by the way she held him and for everything that she was saying. However, he just nodded, fearing he would say something that would make her step away even further from him.

For just one moment, Alexandra stared at him as he looked away, hurt by her. With her heart clenching, she stepped away from him and went for her bag, leaving John rooted to his spot.

As the scientist walked back to her quarters, she kept going over the last few hours and her decision.

John's devotion towards his friends never stopped to impress her. And it was reciprocated. Words and caring touches were not his strength, but the 'taking action method' was more his way of saying he cared for someone. And he was good at it.

Of course, she knew all of that.

Not only because she knew John hadn't left Ronon's side the entire time he had been in isolation, but because she read his and everyone else's reports over the years, as well as knowing his own file from top to bottom. Not to mention what he had done to get Teyla back.

And with all of that knowledge, he had just made it harder for her to continue with her own decision of not getting involved with him.

After everything that happened in the time jump, accepting her own feelings towards him, and that her powers were back and growing, once Woolsey asked her to come back to Atlantis, Alexandra had decided to distance herself from John, because she knew that he would always take action, even at the cost of his own life. And she knew she wouldn't be able to lose him.

So, better to hurt him now, than after. Before things got too complicated. Before the Ancients realized that her powers were back, before they would use him, like they used Cameron. Before the trials were back. Before they would put both their lives on the line. Before she would have to chose between him and what was expected of her.

Ps: Thoughts?