Fairy 6.10: Nurture
Lyra

June 24, 2020

Bells Toll 4 U: Are you serious?

Justin, Site Admin: I'm sorry. I don't like it either.

Bells Toll 4 U: What rule did I even break?

Justin, Site Admin: Impersonation.

Bells Toll 4 U: First, I never claimed to be anyone in particular. Second, I have made it abundantly clear that I can prove my identity. Has Mired offered to do the same?

Justin, Site Admin: I've spoken with Mired. She had some interesting evidence that she didn't want to share in public.

Bells Toll 4 U: Like?

Justin, Site Admin: She works at a tech company. She decided to run a recognition algorithm and found a 98.6% likelihood that you're actually a porygon or a rotom.

Bells Toll 4 U: What tech company?

Bells Toll 4 U: Do you know what a recognition algorithm even is?

Bells Toll 4 U: Have you double checked with a public one or are you just taking her word?

Bells Toll 4 U: Wasn't one of her sockpuppets accusing me of being a grown man pretending to be a teenage girl just a week ago? It's clear that she's just throwing anything at the wall to get people mad at me.

Justin, Site Admin: Please stop accusing people of breaking the rules without evidence.

Bells Toll 4 U: WHAT DO YOU THINK EVERYONE ELSE HAS BEEN DOING FOR THE LAST WEEK?

Bells Toll 4 U: WHAT DO YOU THINK MIRED IS DOING?

Bells Toll 4 U: "Trust me, bro, my uncle works at Sylph."

Justin, Site Admin: I would appreciate it if you could not make this harder than it has to be. You've become a major distraction on the site and still have not set up any kind of confirmation of your claims.

Bells Toll 4 U: I have confirmed my identity, have I not? Cuicatl doesn't like dealing with the press any more than she has to and I'm trying my hardest to keep her out of social media drama like this.

Justin, Site Admin: It isn't that bad. I think she would like it here.

Bells Toll 4 U: "Isn't that bad." "I'm banning a user because some lurker and her sockpuppets got an online hate mob to go after someone for being connected to some girl she doesn't like."

Bells Toll 4 U: Be real, how much vitriol do you let stand on your site because you don't want to be controversial by policing the actual racism, xenophobia, sexism, and ableism that runs rampant every time that Cuicatl gets brought up? Is that the kind of environment she would find to be "not that bad."

Justin, Site Admin: Please clam down.

Bells Toll 4 U: I haven't had an infraction in three years and suddenly you'll turn on me because, what, it's easier than going against the majority of your users?

Justin, Site Admin: This is absolutely uncalled for. I would back down if you could just get me on a call with Cuicatl to clear things up.

Bells Toll 4 U: And when Mired tells you that video was porygon edited?

Bells Tolls 4 U: Also do you think alienating her friend is going to make her give you exclusive interviews or whatever the fuck?

Justin, Site Admin: Will it come back as porygon edited?

Bells Toll 4 U: …you don't know a goddamn thing, do you? A coward and an idiot.

***You have received a two-year ban from Justin's Journal. The ban cannot be appealed.***

2010

You always wanted to meet your father. Everyone else had one. You didn't. Mom told you it was for the best. It wasn't possible to believe that. Some days you and Hibiki would play in the basement and act out his adventures exploring the jungle or stuck at the bottom of the ocean or going back in time to see the dinosaurs. You would write letters to him that would never be sent. Asking him who he was and what he was doing. Telling him about you.

It's still a surprise when he actually showed up to your home. You and Emi were watching cartoons in the basement when you got bored and hungry and went upstairs to get a snack. Mom was there with a strange man. When she heard you she jolted and looked through you like she'd seen a ghost. The man was wearing dark clothes, the kind that adults wear on the TV when they're working. His eyes bored into you in a way you didn't like but couldn't put into words.

"Kotone, right?" he asks.

You glance at Mom. You aren't supposed to talk to strangers. She gives you the smallest of nods while still looking at you like you're scary. Like a spider or a monster. It's weird. Everything feels weird.

"Yes," you tell him. "Who are you?"

He smiles. You like smiles, like smiling, but you aren't sure if you like this one. He's doing everything right but it feels wrong. "Your father, my darling."

You and Hibiki have questions for him. Many. What he does. He tells you he works at the radio station. But he doesn't make music or talk on the radio. He won't tell you anything about what he does at all. You move on to where he's been. Just a city over. Not even any time travel. He was boring. And he wouldn't even read you bedtime stories. Or play. Soon he was just there and it was normal. You didn't bother him much. He didn't bother you. Just stared at you like he couldn't believe you were real.

In the fall you don't start school with Emi. Instead, he sends you to a different school downtown. One full of kids like robots. They all dress the same, and you have to dress like them, and they know a hundred little rules that you don't. When to talk. When to repeat what the teacher said. What fork or spoon or chopsticks or whatever to use when you have more than one of each. You asked one of the girls how she knew. They had all gone to the same school before this, learned all the same rules. Even before Grade 1.

The teacher talked to you after class every day about what you'd done wrong. When you were doing one thing and should have done another. Why you shouldn't have giggled when you thought of a joke while she was trying to teach numbers or books. Your name was always written on a board at the side of the room. A mark of shame. That you weren't as good as the people around you. And they knew it.

You weren't good enough for them. And you were too good for others.

Dad is helping you practice your signature when there's a knock at the door.

Mom opens it. You hear Emi talking to her and freeze up. You feel Dad's eyes on you. He's told you what you're supposed to do. And if you don't do it maybe your name will be on the wall at home, too, and you'll be treated like a bad girl everywhere you go.

Emi plods over and stops. You can't bring yourself to look at her.

"Where have you been?" she asks. "You haven't come over."

You take a breath and slowly breathe out.

"We can't be friends anymore," you mumble.

"What?"

"We can't be friends anymore."

It takes her a moment to respond. "Why not?"

"Because you're poor."

"No, I'm not."

You glance at Dad. He shakes his head.

"Yes, you are."

"How come?"

"Dad says so."

You can hear Emi turn towards him. "What?"

"It's nothing personal," he says. "Dear Kotone is simply having trouble adjusting to her new status. It would help her to cut out the things holding her back."

"And you agree with him?"

No. But he's talked to you about your name on the wall. Your teacher has talked to you about your name on the wall. Most of your class has, too. You don't want to be there anymore. You want to fit in.

"Yes."

"Fine, then." Her voice is cold. You still can't bring yourself to look. "See you never."

She stomps off and you slowly relax your shoulders. Dad gently runs a hand through your hair.

"I'm proud of you," he says. "I know it's hard, but I have no doubt that you will learn in time. You're my daughter, after all."

You do get better with time. By the time the next year rolls around you're cringing at the new students who don't know the rules. Not that you help them. They'll learn in time. Until then, they're beneath you and you shouldn't be friends with them.

You don't want to go back on the wall. You don't want to be a disappointment to your family.

Hibiki doesn't understand. That's… okay. He's your brother. You love him. You just don't understand why he won't go along with everyone else.

2014

You don't want to leave.

You have to leave.

Two gods fought in the south. You didn't feel any of it. They don't live where you do. Up here you have gods of sun and moon, fire and water, but not those gods of fire and water. Well, people used to say they were the same gods. But they aren't. Ho-oh and Lugia have never hurt you.

Your father hired a Galarian tutor and you've had daily lessons ever since. He wants you to fit in. You're supposed to fit in. The people in your new home speak Galarian. You should, too. The people in America don't have names like Kotone. You'll have another one.

It's a new chance to make an impression. Father and the people he hires keep lecturing you about what you should want to eat or wear in America. How to be Lyra instead of Kotone. Who you should want to be friends with. How to go on like nothing changed. Like you're not Japanese. How to be the girl who reflects well on her father. How to fit in with other girls who are trying to reflect well on their fathers. How to handle every friendship, every talk, every meal like a game with points to be won. You remember having to do this when you were younger and trying to get your name off the wall. But you still got to be Kotone. You still got to worship the same gods and go to the same festivals and be called the same name. You had to follow the rules and fit in but you didn't have to be someone new.

"I'm going on a journey the moment I can," Hibiki—Ethan—grumbles to you. "Get away from all this."

And you want to go with him. You promise yourself that you will leave this place, someday, and be free. Be Kotone. Be yourself. But right now? One of you needs to follow the rules. You've seen what happens when rules are broken. You have dozens of diaries under your bed to show for it. And if you follow all the rules, maybe they'll stay away from Ethan.

You're learning to find your way to the top at the new school. Your Galarian still isn't perfect, and that will hold you back for a year or so, but it's not so bad that it dooms you. Being smart and pretty does a third of the work. Carrying yourself well, another third. Time and luck, the last. You thought not knowing anything about the school's religion would be a problem. It is not. Most of the students don't care all too much. It's easy enough to avoid those that do.

At home you join Hibiki in pouring over the books he finds about the Amazon and Antarctica Mammoth Cave and the ocean floor and the moon. You tear through many notebooks each making maps and figuring out what pokémon are the best for every environment. And the best overall. Six is such a small number for your requirements. A dark-type, obviously, to deal with psychics. You're hoping to get a starter to train soon. An absol would be good. You'd at least know when things are about to go wrong. Then a water-type for oceans and rivers—they should be able to handle both. Something for caves. Something for mountains and tundras. Maybe split that in two? A grass-type for rainforests. Utility would be good. A porygon or rotom. A ghost for company and haunted places. And then… salazzle? Lucario? Something to help with people. Any explorer knows that people are every bit as dangerous as nature.

Your two worlds stay separate. At home you can be Kotone and at school you have to be Lyra.

Then you meet the girl in the castle.

Everyone insists that it's not a castle. Just a very large building that happens to look like a modern castle. Brick and concrete instead of granite blocks. Windows and balconies instead of portcullises and drawbridges. A fence instead of a moat. Probably not cold, dark, and damp instead. What a rich person builds when they want a castle but don't want to live in one.

You've even heard that it belonged to a king.

It's owned by one of the businessmen who runs Alola while letting the governor handle the parts he doesn't want to micromanage. You shake his hand and follow along with your father while you both get a tour of the inside. Hibiki wasn't invited. He might know how to keep a small smile at all times, how to keep his back straight, how to decide if you should speak or stay silent. Even if he knows it all he won't do it. It's frustrating. You don't like it either. But everything will go easier if you just play along until you can leave.

After a long time taking everything in while saying nothing, Mr. Gage finally seems to remember that you're tagging along. "Oh, miss, Lyra, was it?"

You nod.

"I have a daughter about your age. Perhaps you could meet her while I talk business with your father." You agree. That's what you're supposed to do. And this does seem more interesting. He only mentioned one daughter. Your father told you he had a second just a little younger than you. Will you meet them both?

The girl in the castle is strange. In a good way. She's from the most powerful family on the island, but she's not like the robot girls. Not like you. It's clear that they're trying to make her that way. She constantly starts doing one thing only to stop and correct herself when her tutor gives her a look. At first you wonder how she didn't learn this at school, either through teaching or punishment. Turns out that she doesn't go. She doesn't see anyone other than her family, the help, and a few kids at the temple. You don't think you would mind. People are more trouble than they're worth. But she's desperately lonely. She has wonderful toys. And she won't judge you if Kotone slips out every now and then. Sometimes her eyes even light up when you act like the child you were a very long time ago.

She quickly becomes your best friend. You read her books, she listens to you talk about the wilderness, you make up games or talk about life, everything a normal kid would do. Everything Kotone would have done.

It's around the time that Ethan leaves to be Hibiki that you realize Kotone is never coming back. It takes work to relax now, even around Genesis. Figuring out what people want and how to give it to them is second nature. Some days you wake up, go to school, and go to bed without ever dropping the act. And you're fine with that. How many times would Kotone have been hurt by now? Would she even still exist? Would a psychic have killed her in all the ways that count? No. She's gone, now, but at least she died on your terms.

With Ethan gone you only have Genesis left. Every other friendship is a game to be won. Only with her can you really relax. And maybe you want more than friendship. She's very pretty. One of the prettiest at school. Her mother was a model before she got deep into the Church of Life.

Genesis kinds of hates that she's attractive. You think she knows, but she refuses to acknowledge it. Shuts up whenever someone asks her about boys. Just gives a brief reply about sin. You're pretty sure you know why. As an experiment, just to see, you play rougher than usual and get your clothes ruined in mud. She tries very, very hard not to look at you when you just have your underwear on. Another experiment with a white t-shirt on a rainy day shows similar results.

She must know, right? She finds you attractive. But she's not good with people. Maybe she thinks you're straight? Or maybe, just maybe, the girl raised in a prudish cult doesn't like gay people. Doesn't want to be a gay person. Wouldn't want to be friends with you if she knew.

So you put it off. Mostly. You take her to a dance. She doesn't say anything. Even when doing something that should make it obvious that, yes, you do see her that way.

Sophomore year ends. You manage to test out of the rest of secondary school with diligent study. It's time to go.

And you don't want to leave with regrets.

June 28, 2020

Genesis does not look impressed. Her arms are crossed and she's been pacing on and off through the story. Cuicatl is harder to read but not as agitated. She's sitting on her bed, legs crossed, with Pixie in her lap receiving slow pets.

When Gen realizes that you're done she just turns to you and glares. "You half got it. I don't know if that makes it better or worse."

"Explain." You need to hear her out. Even if you really, really doubt you're going to like this.

She sighs. "You can't just hide in the Amazon or wherever from your problems. Because you're the problem. Let someone else warp your mind and they didn't even need to be a psychic to do it. Someone asked you to be a bitch and you leapt headfirst.

"Genesis," Cuicatl interjects.

You don't really process it. You knew it would sting to be called out by the girl you love. Hearing her curse made it worse. You know what it takes for her to use those words. Her not being wrong is the third strike.

"You aren't seriously on her side, are you?"

"She's getting better."

"By not using the rape perfume on her friends? What a saint."

"You might not remember what you said to Kekoa when you found out he was trans. I can remind you. People grow."

Gen's glare is absolutely wasted on Cuicatl. It's about the most murderous you've ever seen her. Guilt? Anger? You could probably try to work it to your advantage. But you don't. You don't say anything. Being a manipulative bitch got you into this mess, you can only truly get out by letting nature take its course.

"I cared about his soul. I was wrong, but I was coming from a place of love. I'm not sure she's even capable of acting out of love. Just her own wants and fantasies."

Cuicatl barely even reacts. Just keeps petting her fox. Pixie looks a little upset at the raised voices around her. Ms. Lepo is probably hearing some of this. Should you have had this conversation outside? You'd thought it was too hot, too likely to make them more and more upset as a long talk unfolded, but this might be worse.

"She was going to get you killed," Genesis says.

Cuicatl shrugs like she already knew. "And she's saved my life. It works out."

Perhaps you should have expected that. All of the love she's ever received has come with caveats. She was loved as long as she didn't take up too much space, didn't act out. As long as she did everything she was supposed to do and nothing more. As long as she didn't demand that someone sacrifice their own comfort for hers. You understand her. She grew up pleasing everyone around her, too. Except, her father wanted her to hurt herself and yours wanted you to hurt other people. That's how you ended up nothing alike. How she ended up better. Is it better? You get burned and flinch. You'll do anything to end the pain, even spreading the fire to someone else. That's normal. That's human. Cuicatl gets burned and wonders if the flame should've been hotter. And it's not like she isn't hurting the people she cares about. They don't have to stay awake at night wondering if you're finally going to do something stupidly heroic and meet their end.

The door slams shut. You look up and see that it's only you and Cuicatl (and her pokémon) in the room.

She gives you a sad smile.

"Gen hates me. Cool. Glad that's out of the way." You try not to show your emotions. Try to keep it a joke. Or at least a statement of fact. But your voice still wavers and breaks when you say it.

"You did something dumb and hurtful. You won't do it again. She'll get over it. We've all done dumb and hurtful stuff."

You won't make the same mistake again. But you will probably push both their boundaries past the breaking point. It's who you are. It's what you do. And Cuicatl will always let you do it. It's who she is. It's what she does.

"Do you want to talk?" she asks. "I… I don't really know how to comfort you."

Like you're the real victim.

"Gen's not mad about the imorin." You pause to correct yourself. "Gen's not just mad about the imorin. She's mad because she cares a lot about being good, being true to herself, cares so much that she'll go through hell on earth for it, and I just told her that I'm a piece of shit who killed the girl I used to be. That's not something we can come back from. Once the island challenge is over…"

Cuicatl slumps her shoulders. Like she'll be sad to see you go. Maybe she will be. It's been—holy shit, it's been six months. How did that happen? And she just lost Kekoa. And her brother before that. Almost lost Gen forever.

Look at you. Hurting the people you care about. Again.

"I'll talk to her. Try to make her understand. And if the worst happens." She sighs and looks down into her lap. "We'll keep in touch. Promise."

You shouldn't accept the promise. You'll keep hurting her and she'll let herself be hurt. But you want the companionship. You've come to like her despite everything. So you'll accept it. You'll hurt her. It's who you are. It's what you do. You can try to get better. You will try to get better. But you doubt you can reinvent yourself a second time.

For now you just need to grieve on your own. But you pause at the door. Even if she won't listen, she should hear it.

"Someday you're going to realize what you're worth and you'll be angry as hell at everyone who kept you down."

She laughs. A small, hollow thing.

"Maybe."

June 29, 2020

You set out before dawn. This is it. Vast Poni Canyon. One of the most daunting challenges of the island challenge. A deep canyon with steep paths down and winding caves. Lycanroc stalk their prey day and night while dragons lurk around every corner. Survive until the end and you're faced with a giant kommo-o and the task of doing it all again, uphill. You should be excited. Your nerves should be buzzing with excitement and fear. You should have spent the last two days making very, very sure that everyone in your team is ready for the most dangerous part of Alola's most dangerous island.

Or at least you should have been hyper focused on making sure that Ankā the dhelmise, your newest team member, is integrating well. You could have been making a training plan. Doing anything to gear up for the final challenge before the rest of your life can begin. This is everything you've ever wanted and you should be on top of the world.

Instead, you laid in bed for hours on end as your life fell apart around you.

The next morning isn't better. Breakfast passes in silence with Gen shooting you hateful glares as Cuicatl busies herself with her food. At least she's eating. Once you get going you give your team their orders. Set out into danger.

And then nothing happens for at least an hour. A few wild pokémon stir around you but most give a wide berth to the procession of over a half dozen trained pokémon on high alert. There will probably be more fights in the canyon. Some pokémon in places like this see fighting trainer's pokémon and winning as a way to prove their strength to mates and competitors. Your team can handle it. Even with Jishin the mudsdale more focused on carrying weight than fighting enemies, you still have Mirai the absol and Ankā as heavy hitters. The dhelmise might not be trained, but she still put up one hell of a fight yesterday. You'll trust her against almost anything in this canyon. Rigan-ryū isn't very mobile – she's a pyukumuku on land – but she can fuck up one enemy per fight. That's invaluable if used well. Subarashī can breathe fire and, if worst comes to worst, charm her enemies with imorin. And you're hardly fighting alone. Coco and Leo join the heavy hitters on Cuicatl's side. Gen's team aren't well trained but are at least fully evolved. And there's a togekiss flying somewhere above you that could probably take any pokémon in this canyon without any real danger. But she's staying away for now. Something about giving the nestlings a chance to fly.

You silently agreed that Cuicatl should be between you and Genesis on the trail. She took the lead, you're bringing up the back. So mostly you're just left to brood and look ahead at Cuicatl. She's put on weight but it's gone to good places. And her hair's getting longer. She showed you a picture of what it looked like before she got it cut and, well, you get why she was proud of it.

Are you attracted to her? It would make everything messier than it already is. Give you more attachments to someone you probably won't be able to speak to once her girlfriend draws a line in the sand. Not to mention that she's psychic and might pick up on something that should stay private for everyone's sake.

It doesn't matter. You're not going to act on it. Not going to make this any worse than it already is.

It's a genuine relief when a lycanroc pack try to surround you. At least you know how to deal with that.

Most of the day is pretty boring. You got lost in the action during the lycanroc fight. it was fun, though. They were more interested in pressing your defenses than going for a kill. Mirai still left one with a nasty scratch. One tried to sneak up on Jishin and the mudsdale almost kicked him off the canyon's edge. The pack backed off after a few minutes and you treated your injured. Genesis insisted on using a potion on the lycanroc that Jishin fucked up. You'd argue but you really don't want to get into it with Gen. Cuicatl took her side. You'll have to go back out this way in a few days and you don't want the lycanroc swearing vengeance against you if the pokémon died. Or maybe she was just appeasing her girlfriend.

Hard to say. You don't really want to think about it too much.

The few stops are quiet. Sometimes Gen will tell Cuicatl about the views she's missing. And they are gorgeous. You can clearly see the geological layers in the canyon. A history of the island laid bare. That's enough to distract you.

It's mostly pretty boring, though. Endless switchbacks to get halfway down the canyon. You aren't bothered too often by wild pokémon. A few mienshao bound down the slope to try and steal a pack and run. Unfortunately for them, Mitsuru got bored and decided that her desire to fight something outweighed her desire to let you sink or swim. You're pretty sure all the mienshao survived her wrath. Pretty sure.

The togekiss spent the next few minutes preening herself and talking to Cuicatl in her sing-song voice before taking back off.

"Are you worried?" Cuicatl asks.

The question isn't meant for you. She's huddled up with Coco maybe thirty meters out from camp, just at the edge of the terrace you've set up on.

You can only hear half their conversation but it seems somber. Private. Cuicatl idly runs a hand through Coco's feathers. They aren't all white anymore. Most are buff, now. Almost orange. The fringe is a deep purple, almost black. Probably from her father. She's not much like the movies. Or even the first few specimens they revived. Now they have feathers instead of leathery scales, flesh instead of stone.

"It's alright to be nervous," Cuicatl responds to a question of squeaks and growls. "I would be. I was when I started growing up. But you'll still be you. And I'll still be here. Promise."

Coco responds in a language you don't understand but Cuicatl would, even without her abilities. Then she leans down and embraces the tyrunt. Cuicatl's almost the smaller of the two now. Will be by a lot when the everstone necklace comes off.

When the two separate Cuicatl stands up and looks over towards you. Did Coco tell her you were there? Did she hear you approach? Suddenly you feel even more like an interloper.

"Need something?"

"Wanted to borrow Noci for a bit. Talk to my team."

She nods. "Could we swap for a bit? Metang for absol. I'm going hunting. Might need some extra protection."

Right. Hunting. She has her whole plan with the skarmory.

"Sure. Good luck and good hunting."

When she leaves you can finally talk to Subarashī. You promised her that she'd get social manipulation lessons. She'll act up if she doesn't get them. Even if right now it feels like you know far too much and far too little to be her teacher.

She reforms from her afternoon nap in the ball and stretches out. The salazzle barely afford a glance to either you or the metang above her.

You can feel the imorin send a shiver up your spine. "We had an agreement."

The salazzle huffs. "That was hardly anything."

"Just don't do it around the other humans."

She shoots you a withering glare before laying flat on the rock to bask.

"The first lesson I want: how do you keep your other subordinates in line?"

You want to correct the word 'subordinate.' But it's not really wrong. You try your best. Maybe. You're at least better than most.

"Pyukumuku don't seem to want much. I make sure that he's fed and hydrated and he doesn't care." Well, not entirely. He's a little annoyed at you. He's a little annoyed at everyone and everything, though. You've never heard him not complain about something in his own simplistic way. Kind of a bummer to talk to. "Jishin was separated from his mother. He's hoping that we'll run across him somewhere in Alola. We do check if any trainer staying with us in the Center has a mudsdale."

"And that works?" Subarashi asks. "Oh, don't worry, I will definitely find your mother somewhere in these giant islands. And then you just don't find her, ever. Doesn't even have to be on purpose. What an idiot."

You take a moment and carefully consider how to explain Darwinian evolution to a salamander.

"Children are like their parents in some ways. More like their parents than the average member of the species. Humans learned that. So we started intentionally breeding some pokémon to enhance certain traits. We eventually made pokémon that were almost nothing like the wild originals. Mudsdale are one of those. Jishin knows it and wants to give humans the benefit of the doubt."

Subarashi pushes off the ground until she's standing. "Does that work for all pokémon?"

"Most. Probably not rocks. Probably not ghosts. Uh. Maybe some other exceptions."

You don't really want to get into porygon right now. Not important.

"So we could make different ponds and put big fish into some, making more big fish, and keep doing that until every salandit has lots of big fish to eat?"

Oops. You've just altered the ecosystem of Mauna Wela. You aren't even sure if you should lie to her at this point. If they're smart enough to do farming, well, is it humanity's right to tell them no.

"Theoretically, yes. It would just take a lot of salazzle lifetimes." Her head lowers towards the ground. "And you wouldn't be able to eat as many any big fish of your own in that time. You'd be eating up smaller fish so your distant descendants who won't even remember you have bigger ones."

"How many human lifetimes does it take?"

"I don't know. At least ten? Probably more."

That gets her attention again. "And humans will do that?"

Well. Not for mudsdale. It's not like you were trying to eat them. Something like tauros, yeah. Or you could eat the big tauros but they had to reproduce first. Close enough.

"Yes."

"And is that how you took over the world? Giving things up to help other humans you'll never meet? Acting like you're all enthralled to each other?"

Enthralled. Hah. No, definitely not. At least not in the way that she understands it. "Don't misunderstand me, we can be horribly selfish. We usually are. But sometimes we work together across continents and generations to do stuff."

"That's the problem with humans. It's easy to kill a human. Enthrall them. Anything. But then they keep coming back with more and more humans and you lose. Like fighting a whole hive of insects. Annoying."

"And social tricks are how we get people to do that." You pause and look towards a loud, echoing noise in the canyon. Seems two kommo-o are going at it. You can barely see them but can definitely hear them. This is just about the only place a major dragon species is native to. And you get to (barely) see them here. It's incredible enough to make you feel something but dread and despair. So, naturally, it's time to bring that back. "Humans don't like it when you use them and they catch you, though. I'm fighting with Genesis, the light-haired human, right now. I told her some lies. Didn't tell her I was using perfume you made. She likes to make her own decisions for herself and got mad at me."

She snorts. "You didn't enthrall her enough. If you did, she wouldn't be mad."

"Humans have rules. That breaks them. Break a rule and the swarm of humans will come after you." There's no point explaining ethics to her. Just power. Even if you're lying. Her parents could have done it, pretty much did it, and won't face any consequences for it.

"And what are the rules?" she looks at you with mischief in her eyes. Probably wants to know so she can find a way to make someone break them or go right up to the line.

Fuck it, what's the worst that can happen by indulging her? Keeps your mind off of other things.

"Well, to start with, you're not supposed to kill other humans…"

The sun has fallen beneath the canyon rim when you get back. There's still light diffused in the sky and it's easy to navigate, but you cut it too close. Walked too long today, stayed up too late afterwards. You'll fall asleep as soon as your head hits the pillow or pay for it tomorrow. Or both. Genesis isn't out when you return to the campsite. Probably asleep. Cuicatl is sitting down in a weird chair Shirona got for her. It only has two points of contact with the ground. Her feet make the third and fourth. It would be really easy to tip over, but it's also easy to rock. She seems to like rocking in it. So does Genesis. You'd prefer something more sturdy.

"Sorry for worrying you. Back now."

"I wasn't worried. Noci said you were fine."

"Right." How far is her range when talking to the metang? You weren't too far, but you were hardly in earshot. "How'd the hunt go?"

"Got a few rattata. Attracted two skarmory. One told me no, the other one will keep talking to me as long as I give her more food. I'll keep doing little hunts throughout the canyon. See if I can change her mind by the end. Similar situation with the machoke. Neither can be caught in a day."

Right. A longer campaign of manipulation. You… have a question.

"What if they don't want to be caught?"

"I can bring them around. Almost always have."

That didn't answer your question. But you suppose it did by omission.

"Do you think it's in their best interest to be caught?"

She turns her head to look towards you. It's unnecessary. Even a little unnerving with her blank stare in the dim light. Not that you'll tell her that. "Was it in the rattata's interest to be killed? No. I did it anyway."

Predators. Prey. You can believe she's on board with that. But not everyone.

"And your vegetarian girlfriend is okay with that philosophy?"

She tenses up and for a moment you can really see the definition in her arms. Girl grew up used to physical work. It shows.

"Gen doesn't want to push it."

Is what she's doing worse than what you did? You don't think you ever really hurt her aside from the imorin. And you didn't do that for long before stopping. Fine, you did push her boundaries a little because you wanted more than she did and didn't know how to ask directly. No, you knew how. You just didn't want to. And no one got hurt until the end. She probably enjoyed herself at the dance. Getting Cuicatl roped in to your half-baked rescue plan would've been bad, sure, but in the end you didn't do it. The kiss was really shitty, too, especially with the benefit of hindsight. You aren't a saint. Gen hates you and you know why. But is lying to humans and playing social games worse than condemning pokémon to death and servitude to pay down a debt?

She gets to her feet and stretches. "I'm going to bed. See you tomorrow."

"Wait."

…you've already burned all your other bridges. Why not burn this one, too? You wouldn't be a good friend if you didn't make her grow when she refuses.

"I don't think you should be working with VStar at all."

She groans and turns around. "You know why I'm doing it."

"I know why you say you are. Money. But, hear me out, a multimillionaire has offered to adopt you. What's the point anymore?"

"She won't," Cuicatl whispers. "She can't. That's not how things work."

Oh, for fuck's sake. You take a deep breath and try to calm your rising temper at—her, yourself, your father, everything—and fail. "I can't wait to see you realize your worth. I meant that. But you need to hurry up. Your own insistence that things can't get better, that you aren't worth anything? That's about to potentially ruin the lives of a machoke and skarmory. You aren't doing this because you have to. You're doing this because you'd rather kill and capture than—what, accept that people care about you? I do. Gen does. Lots of people do. Is it unreasonable to think that Shirona does, too?"

Her back straightens. Her right fist clenches and her left reaches for her sash. Should've remembered before that the girl has a serious temper boiling away beneath the surface.

"Is fighting me going to make my words untrue?"

You will if she wants. Can probably even win. It would just be a waste of everyone's strength when you can't afford to be off your game.

You're saved by the togekiss chirping. The tension immediately leaves Cuicatl's body and suddenly she just looks a little pathetic. Like a child that's been caught and scolded. She goes into her tent and zips it behind her without another word.

Great.

Just great.

In some ways this is easier. She doesn't have to choose between being friends with you and keeping Genesis happy if she hates you.

A lot of people hate you these days. Turns out that you can only have friends when you're carefully curating the version of you that people meet.

Who cares.

You don't need friends in the wilderness.

It's. It's going to be fine. Eventually.