"Due to Dr. Arkham on leave due to a kidney transplant, I, Hugo Strange will host the interview with Mr. Edward Nygma, otherwise known as the Riddler." - Dr. Jeremiah Arkham
Riddler: Ah Hugo, What do I owe the pleasure of dragging from my cell in the early hours in the morning? I take it you have conjured up some ridiculous form of punishment.
Hugo Strange: No no, not this time Edward. I took it upon myself to speak with you before the rest of my day was too occupied with the other patients, and also to reevaluate the information Dr. Arkham had taken before he set off to receive his kidney transplant. However, I would desire to discuss with you the riddles which you have had written all across the office in Arkham. Especially Dr. Cassidy's case.
Riddler: Funny, you are one the only few simpletons who would regard my riddles as such. That is why I respect you, Hugo. But I do hope you do not take this as a sign of affection towards you. But regardless, what would I care if some of those dimwits would cry about them?
Hugo Strange: Edward, many of those riddles were all a tad aggressive don't you think? I mean look here.
"Takes out a folder and reads off the riddles"
Hugo Strange: One was written in regards to a slit throat for Dr. Young's mother, another for hanging for Dr. Combs and his wife and son, and...a miscarriage Edward? Tsk tsk tsk, I expected better from you. You of all people know that Dr. Cassidy is still suffering from losing the child, which you helped her lose.
Riddler: If she were as smart as she claims to be...
Hugo Strange: Edward, please.
Riddler: Sigh. Very well, I concede. I do admit that I wasn't very proud of that work, and I do admit that Dr. Cassidy's unfortunate ailment was not a matter to be laughed at. I'll be sure to do my best and better myself in the future, but I cannot make any promises.
Hugo Strange: Thank you, Edward, that is all I ask of you.
Riddler: I can see, now what else was it you wanted to discuss with me?
Hugo Strange: "Strange cleans off his red spectacles and clears his throat" About your parents Edward, from your file, you have claimed that your father had never liked you and that your mother was just as neglectful towards you.
Riddler: Correct, somedays my mother would even help him with their "daily medicine" as he would call it. Most times it regarded a leather belt they named Sir Slaps-o-lot. So I decided to prove them wrong and that I was useful.
Hugo Strange: And did you succeed?
Riddler: Obviously not! When I ran for school president, they accused me of rigging the election, then I decided to solve the school's hardest math problems, and finally, I volunteered to run the carnival games at your local church. All failures.
Hugo Strange: If I recall, you did indeed rig that election by having the votes forged, and as for the math problem, you had a very lucky guess and ran with it, and finally you had the entire game rigged so you would win all of that money for the church, but only to keep it for yourself; resulting in a broken nose, a fractured wrist, and a black eye from your father. Who in return was arrested but was gunned down after escaping.
Riddler: "Chuckles" Very good Hugo. You studied my file well, I suppose Dr. Arkham isn't as much of a fool as we made him out to be.
Hugo Strange: And your mother hung herself after a drunken rant of not having you?
Riddler: Correct again.
Hugo Strange: And you were not bothered by this?
Riddler: Why would I? After all, it all went swimmingly. What person would expect a ten-year-old child to plan the downfall of the Neanderthals one would call parents? Sure it caused a few broken bones, but in the end, it was worth it. Ridding myself of the two greatest fools who failed to realize my genius.
Hugo Strange: What? You had your parents murdered for what they did? Why not go to the police or someone you could trust?
Riddler: There was no one else I could trust. And don't patronize me with the delusion that the police will help. Those poor fools were more concerned with lining their pitiful pockets with the mob's money.
Hugo Strange: I...
Riddler: Riddle me this Hugo, how are you and a blank dictionary the same? You are both at a loss for words.