Present Day

What did he think of her?

What did any of them?

She was sure they were grateful for the help but as much as they might understand, or try to, there was no way they were okay that she'd walked off with the Triad. And there was no way they were going to be okay with them hurting her. Or with her allowing herself to be hurt. I'm safe and I'm on my way to you. What kind of girlfriend sent her boyfriend a text like that? Probably a larger number than most people would expect, but not anyone normal. Not anyone who was a civilian. And what had his response been? I love you. Everything she did and he just kept meeting it with love. It wasn't lost on Tess that even though that was what he'd always done it was also the reverse of what their relationship had always been, but like everything else that was different now. More and more Jay was becoming the emotionally mature one and she was the one lost in the storm of her feelings.

Lydia would've gotten a kick out of it. The sudden, vivid reminder of her aunt sent a pang of heartache coursing through her, so visceral she slumped against the steering wheel. She gripped the smooth leather tightly, almost going so far as to sink her teeth into it to supress the strong urge to scream. It was just so much so quickly, back to back to back. But not too much. It couldn't be too much because… Because it just couldn't be.

She couldn't afford for it to be.

But the spirit of her aunt must've been with her because despite it being just past ten pm on a Saturday, what should be a busy night for a police precinct, the front desk of the 21st was oddly empty. Intentionally it seemed because she hadn't even made her way up the stairs before she got pulled into the firm gaze of one Trudy Platt. She'd forgotten about the prickly Desk Sergeant. And while she knew the woman had been slowly warming up to her she had not realized those protective instincts now extended to her. And that meant she wasn't ready to face it. Exactly the way she would have with Lydia she shot the woman a smile and hurried for the next staircase but didn't even get a foot on it before the older woman stopped her.

"Don't even think about it."

"Look, I get that you want to reprimand me and that's fine but we are on a time crunch-"

"I won't take long." Trudy said dryly, her stern gaze flicking to the space in front of her desk until she made her way over. "Dispatch was six minutes out when you rode in, that right?"

"Yes." Tess answered cautiously, unable to help comparing her dark blue SUV to a white horse.

"So unless you just happened to be in the neighbourhood, you were on your way before that. But you didn't think to loop me in?"

Oh.

"I did, but I decided against it."

Trudy's face hardened, she might be used to taking a backseat in the field but that didn't mean she appreciated it. And with her power in the district, hell in the department she no doubt took her dismissal as a deep insult. "Why?"

"Because I knew I could handle it on my own." She answered evenly, giving the other woman a soft look as she stepped back. "I appreciate your concern, but everything is fine."

The pointed look at her arm made it clear Trudy didn't believe her but she just made her way to the bullpen. She'd debated on covering it but not only was even the slightest pressure painful, though no longer excruciating thanks to some pain meds, she knew hiding it wouldn't be fair to them. Much as she wanted to this couldn't be swept under the rug and if she made them feel like she didn't trust them to handle the truth it would be even more insulting than her accidental slight to Trudy.

That didn't mean she enjoyed seeing everyone's hard, worried and guilty stares when she made her way upstairs but she used her love for them to throw on a smile. "Okay, so I know that was intense-"

"What did they do to you?" Voight demanded with a pointed look at her arm, harshly, more than she or any of them seemed to have expected, though another look showed they all agreed with him.

This was not going to go easily.

"It's fine." She said calmly, holding his still hard stare for a moment before she slowly sent it around the room, unsure whether to be disheartened or touched that they were all just as upset. "I know that was intense but everything is fine. I'll give you all a rundown but right now-"

"Right now I want to know what they did to you." He demanded again and this time she noticed Kim putting a hand on Adam's hip, the younger man shifting angrily as he looked from his boss to her to Jay and back again.

And he wasn't the only one.

His partner was a combination of hurt and guilty, a similar expression to Kevin though his was more firm, determined to give her the help she'd given him. Vanessa on the other hand looked torn between shocked and adamant, sure something needed to be done but not what. And her partner… Tess and Hailey had had a rough beginning but even with everything that had happened she'd never seen her look more ashamed and it made the knot in her stomach so tight for a second she thought she'd be sick.

"It's fine." She forced herself to continue, sneaking a peek at Jay but his face… that somber understanding made her want to cry. "More importantly, I found the dealers you were looking for and no one will get in your way this time. They're holed up in-"

"What did they do to you?" Voight's angered shout echoed through the bullpen, freezing her in place.

She'd messed up.

She'd known he would be angry but she had not expected this level of rage, or for how much of it would be directed at himself. But she didn't want him to be upset with himself, for any of them to be. She got it, allowing someone to make a sacrifice on your behalf was never easy but… that was just what she did.

She just had to get them to see that she was okay with that.

"It's just a burn." Tess finally said quietly, her heart and gut clenching at the understanding that filled Voight's face, right before it switched to sadness.

The same emotion that filled everyone's, along with more shock and dismay and it was so powerful that if she had any chance of keeping herself together she needed to get them out of here.

"Two-fifty west, twenty-second place. Six men, minimum fire power."

It took Jay a minute to pull his eyes away from the bandage on her arm but he did it, his hunter and steel eyes boring into hers. He didn't even blink, just stared at her for another long minute, the conviction in his gaze growing stronger with each second.

And only the smallest bit of that had to do with the case she was asking him to finish.

"Let's go." He said hoarsely as he slowly stood, ignoring his Sergeant but looking to his current and former partner who after just a beat followed, Vanessa quickly doing the same.

Adam gave her and Voight another pair of firm yet hurt looks before he left, aided by Kim's hand on his back, and yet her friend still took the time to brush her fingers against hers as they walked past. She still gave Tess her own pointed look but this time it was full of love, so much that she had to swallow heavily before she could turn back to Voight.

"FYI? It is very rude to yell at someone who just risked life and limb for you. A man your age should know better." She said tartly, trying to bring in a bit of levity but finding little enjoyment in his immediately perturbed look.

For a second when she breezed past him into his office she thought he was going to start yelling again but when she looked back at him after plopping into one of his chairs she caught him with his head tilted up, taking a slow breath before he shook it. His steps were measured when he came in, and he didn't take a seat, just stood opposite her with that stern look.

"You're going to tell me what happened. All of it."