Ten Years Ago

He didn't like her plan.

Of course he couldn't tell her that because it would be hypocritical as shit considering she hadn't said anything about not liking theirs but holy fuck. Out of everything he thought she might have come up with this had not been on the list, not even close and he'd imagined her breaking into the Chinese Embassy. And Jay didn't know if that said more about him or her but he did know that his lists were going to have to get a lot longer. And a lot broader. Because her actual plan was to give the seal to the Triad. And not by breaking in and leaving it behind, or even by dropping it off at the front door but instead by walking right in and giving it to the head of the whole outfit.

When Tess Danvers wanted to do something she did it, rules, regulations and common sense be damned. It was one of the things he loved about her, but that didn't mean it didn't also scare him too.

"You sure about this?" He asked one more time as they neared their destination, well, at least as close as he was going to get.

She didn't need him here, was only bringing him along because he'd practically begged her, partly to provide his unnecessary backup and partly, mostly, because he loved seeing her in action.

He'd just prefer to be a bit nearer to her side.

"I won't be able to get close fast enough if things go wrong and if the camera goes down I won't even have a visual."

"I know." Tess replied quietly, taking a long breath that he was pretty sure had very little to do with the weight of the artifact she'd just put in her purse. Who knew pure jade could be so heavy? "And I know this is dangerous and I know you think it's stupid-"

"I don't."

Fuck him.

The look she gave him then, so guilty, so small.

"Jay-"

"I don't think it's stupid. I just… I think it's more than they deserve." He said softly and this time it was his shoulders that shrank. That wasn't what he believed, the kind of man he wanted to be but his fear of this going wrong was really damn strong and he cared more about her than he did any of their enemies.

And for right or wrong more than some of their friends too.

"Maybe it is. This is just… it's the only thing that feels right to me." She answered with a small shrug and that soothed all his worries.

Well, most of them.

Jay didn't know anyone as good as Tess, as strong, and if she thought this was the right thing to do then he would stand behind her. Even if that meant waiting in the car.

"Then go make some friends."

She grinned and before he knew it was kissing him, too damn quickly for his liking but he could see the lightness in her step as she left the car so he knew she felt supported. And that was all he had to do. That and wait. He slid behind the drivers seat once she was gone and powered up the tablet she'd left behind, his eyes flicking between his surroundings and the screen that showed him hers. He was never going to make jokes about her tech hoarding tendencies ever again because the spy cam she just happened to have in her purse today had come in real handy. He really hoped the knives she'd had tucked away didn't end up being as necessary, or the gun he'd pushed her to take but he was still glad she had them.

Those were some mean looking bouncers.

Guards really, the Triad took security their seriously, in addition to the four at the front entrance of their headquarters he'd also spotted at least two on the roof. But either their observation skills were lacking or they just weren't that bright because not one of them batted an eye at the woman walking up to them.

"This isn't a club sweetheart."

He couldn't see her face but he could picture the smile Tess gave them and he saw it's effects, the way their eyes narrowed as they finally gave her a second look. "I'm not your sweetheart, I'm an operative with the CIA and I'm looking to chat with Ang Feng."

Two of them laughed, the youngest looking ones but the older two hesitated; maybe because they'd dealt with the agency before or maybe this wasn't as strange as he thought. He couldn't understand what he was saying when one of them started speaking into a radio, couldn't even tell if it was Mandarin or Cantonese but he enjoyed their looks of shock when Tess responded in kind. He loved watching her put people in place.

He should get her to give him some tips.

She was already helping him with his Spanish- how many languages could she teach him?

The thought made him smile and even though his body stayed tense as he watched them lead her into the building the tightness that had been in his gut when she'd first told him the plan had vanished. She knew what she was doing and he trusted that. Who else did he know that wouldn't bat an eye when brought face to face with the head of an incredibly dangerous criminal organization?

"And who are you, little spy?" The middle-aged Asian man asked her as she came to a stop in front of his desk.

Ang Feng.

From what she'd told him he was smart, and also ruthless, but despite his bloody reputation Jay swore he saw a hint of admiration in his eyes when she answered him.

"'Though she be but little, she is fierce'. Shakespeare."

Though she be but little, she is fierce.

Was there a quote that fit her better? There was only one that came to mind, from the novel A Farewell to Arms by Ernest Hemmingway.

You are so brave and quiet I forget you are suffering.

"I intercepted this."

Shit.

Evidently he had such faith in her he'd zoned out and quickly pulled himself out of his head just in time to see her placing the seal on Ang's desk. And to see at least two pairs of hands letting go of their guns.

"It's almost definitely a fake, but regardless it doesn't belong to us."

"Us?" Ang questioned, slowly looking up from the artifact back to her.

"Americans. White people." She replied, the bob of the camera telling him she'd shrugged.

"And yet you work for a government that does so much plundering."

He was one to talk.

"We both work for organizations that are known to cause damage. But the way I see it that means we have as much in common as in differences."

Jay grinned in victory, hers really but he would always celebrate her.

And she had sure as shit won this battle.

After a moment of silence the man nodded and for a second his heart jumped into his throat when she turned away and his hand raised. Fear made him start the car, he'd drive it into the fucking building if he had to but there were no shots, no one grabbed her, no one even insulted her. He just asked a question.

"What is your name?"

"Tess." She answered softly, though he was back to looking at the seal and after another moment she left and his body finally relaxed.

Mostly.

She still had to make her way back to him and the detour she took told him she was losing a tail, which she did easily, just five extra minutes before she was hopping in the passenger seat. He drove off immediately but his eyes refused to stay on the road, drinking in her smile as she tilted her head at him.

"What?" She asked with that half-nervous chuckle, her sapphire eyes running over him as she nibbled on her bottom lip.

"I'm in awe of you, you know that?"

He had just enough time to see her cheeks go bright pink before she rolled her eyes and turned her head away but when he took her hand she gripped it just as tightly. All of this had thrown all of them but they'd handled it.

Together.

Mouse was the first to greet them when they made it back to the brownstone, sharing a steady, reassuring nod with him before he grinned at Tess. "Every time I think you're done surprising me."

"She won't ever stop." Lydia replied, giving him a warm hug while the other two finished their embrace before she brought her niece in for her own, shaky enough that he knew they needed to give them some time.

"And we'd never want her to."

Tess shot him a grateful smile when he gave her a quick kiss and then he and Mouse headed upstairs, his friend understanding not just that they all needed to be together tonight but that he also needed a minute with him.

"You okay?" Greg asked once they were settled in the spare room, looking him over with a critical eye as he took a seat on the bed while Jay leaned against the dresser; there was enough anxious energy left in him that he couldn't be still yet.

It took him a minute to answer, to put all his feelings surrounding the chaos of the day into something that made sense but his friend was patient.

Thank God he'd been here today.

"This was way too close." He finally settled on, for the first time allowing himself to lower his guard enough to take a full breath.

"Yeah." Greg said with a nod, taking his own moment with his thoughts before his gaze travelled to the window. "We're too used to thinking like soldiers."

"But I'm not one anymore." He countered, his frustration finally making its way to the surface. Yes they'd handled today but it had still been fucking close. And he still couldn't help thinking that it was something that shouldn't have even happened in the first place. "I'm a cop now, I know what happens in this city. And even if I wasn't I know what Tess does. I know where she does it and I know why. I know there's a reason she never lets me take her to or pick her up from the airport. I should have known something like this was possible."

"You did. We all did, we just… We didn't take it as seriously as we should have. We will next time." Greg said softly, a promise but instead of making him feel better it opened up a pit in his stomach.

"There can't be a next time."

The look his friend gave him then made that hole bigger and he knew it.

Because he had one too.

And neither of them could fill it, though he appreciated the effort.

"There will. We all know it and as much as we'd like to, we can't stop it from happening. None of us. We just gotta be as prepared as we can be. And we will be."

They would.

Whether that would be enough… he didn't know. None of them could. But that was all they could do so it was going to have to be enough. He made sure to have a lot more certainty in his voice when he told Tess that once she finally came up but it still took them a long time to fall asleep. And when they woke they were holding each other just as tightly.