Dear diary, today is July 4th, yup, Happy Independence Day. That time of year where we come together to celebrate America's freedom from the British. Tonight, we are celebrating this day with Sasha and her Dad. We're having a barbecue in my backyard along with Sasha, her Dad and Grime and to watch the fireworks which I know Gus will be hypnotised by. Speaking of, Gus had a bit of a streaming addiction as he was impressed with all the shows that he could watch but we had to stop him before he gets glued to the screen. Grime also got involved in some underground fighting just to make a few bucks but that was shut down by the police. I also had decided on my career. Herpetology which I am studying super hard on. I hope I'm making the Plantars proud by doing this job so I can feel like I'm close to Amphibia once again.
In the backyard of the Boonchuy residence, Anne, the Boonchuys, Sasha, Grime, Gus and Mr Waybright were in the backyard having a barbecue.
Grime was feasting on a rib covered in a huge layer of barbecue sauce with Sasha. The two had sauce on their lips but they didn't seem to care as they continued to feast on the bitter yet juicy and meaty deliciousness. "Mmmmm!" Grime moaned.
"Oh yeah." Sasha agreed.
"Okay, last rib on the grill, who wants it?" Mr Boonchuy cried out.
Grime and Sasha knew in that moment that they were about to fight for that rib. They narrowed their eyes at each other with competitive intent. Then, they jumped out of their seats to race toward that last rib but then they saw Anne take the last one.
This caused the two some disappointment as they sighed and sat back down. "Eh, I'm feeling full anyway." Sasha said.
"So am I." Grime unbuckled his belt to let his huge gut hang as he exhaled. This caused Sasha to look away in disgust.
"Grime! Put that away! Nobody wants to see that!" Sasha demanded.
"No." Grime said as he began to play with it by drumming on it. "Aaahhh!"
Gus, whom was busy playing with the United Stats flags noticed this and used his magic to help buckle up Grime's pants and to put his gut away.
"Thanks, Gus." Sasha said to the witch.
"You're welcome." Gus said before he continued screaming and running around with the flags in hand.
Anne was eating a burger as she was busy watching the live news broadcast on her phone. "And in conclusion, scientists have said that the Bird Door challenge could return due to the release of Bird Door: Madrid. And looking at the countdown till the fireworks, we have about five more minutes. And in the meantime I will give out information about more sightings of some crazy man dressed like he was from the 1800's claiming to be our 8th and a half president, Quentin Trembley. The fact that he never existed in any of the history books suggests that he is just a crazy loon."
Anne chuckled. "Wouldn't be surprising if it was a cover up."
Gus stopped running and began to catch his breath and stopped next to Mr Waybright. "So, what does your enemy do during this time of year?"
"Our what?" Kevin responded.
"The British. What do they do?" Gus asked.
"Uh….Nothing." Kevin replied. "The British just usually mind their own business on this day and do…British things."
"Like what?" Gus asked. "Plot their next attack?"
"Uh…..No." Kevin replied.
"They might be!" Grime said. "Usually, when us toads had an enemy that screwed us over, we attack them before they plan to attack us."
"And were they planning to attack you?" Kevin asked.
Grime raised a finger. "Not really! So, we were just being a bunch of jerks!"
"Okay everyone!" Mrs Boonchuy yelled. "The fireworks are starting soon!"
Everyone sat down on the grass to get a better look at the fireworks in the sky that were about to start soon. "Oh! Yeah!" Grime unbuckled his belt again to let his gut hang, causing Mr Boonchuy some disgust.
"Could you put that away?" Asked the uncomfortable Mr Boonchuy. "Or at the very least try and lose it?"
Grime shrugged his shoulders. "Nah."
Gus gave Grime a judgemental stare before using his magic to put his toady gut away. "Come on Grime. I want to enjoy a human holiday not be disgusted."
"Oh come on!" Grime exclaimed in annoyance.
"Hey Anne, question, what's a president?" Gus asked.
"Well a president, is like an emperor." Anne replied. "Only not a monarchist more like a politician. Every four years people get to decide which one of the two candidates get to run the country by voting."
"Wow! Wish the Boiling Isles had that!" Gus said. "But…We don't."
"Oh please!" Grime exclaimed. "Toads get to decide their leader by strength not some voting strategy. It's lame and all it leads is to unnecessary backstabbing, arguing and fraud! That's why we had mud fights in the Pits of Bones."
"How many presidents have you had?" Gus asked.
"I lost count." Anne replied. "Maybe….36?"
"Does that include the 8 and a half president?" Gus asked. "Quentin Trembley."
"Gus, there was no 8 and a half president." Sasha said. "I mean, how would that even work? I mean, why is he the half 8th president? What sense does that make?"
"I have no idea." Grime replied. "You humans are stupid and confusing."
"Amen to that." The Boonchuys and Waybrights agreed.
"Listen Gus, I assure you, there is no such thing as an 8 and a half president." Anne said.
"Shut up everyone!" Sasha exclaimed. "The fireworks are starting!"
Sasha was right, the fireworks have indeed started. They flew up high in the air and exploded caused a multitude of colours to scatter the sky.
Gus was in awe with what he was seeing. Sure he had seen fireworks in the Demon Realm before, but every time they went off, he was still mesmerised.
So many fireworks exploded in the air releasing the colours of red, white and blue. Heck, Gus could even see the fireworks flying in the air before they exploded. He was even mesmerised by a bigger one that looked like had a person riding it like it was a horse.
This made Gus baffled until he saw it explode into a million lights that scattered wildly. Plus, the human silhouette was coming right towards them.
"Hey, is that a skinny human coming towards us?" Grime asked.
"Gangway!" The man cried to the family whom quickly got off the ground and ran to a safe position so the man could make a landing. The man landed face first on the ground with a brutal smack.
Then, he stood up to reveal himself as a very tall man with a thin head, a long and pointed nose, and appeared to keep his light brown hair in a relatively simple haircut; his sideburns flowing into his very distinct almost mutton chop-like facial hair. An extremely small pair of spectacles rest atop his nose.
He is wearing a fairly normal suit with a mustard yellow bowtie, popped collar, and bronze button, but no pants, instead only wearing a pair of pale beige drawers. The only other article of clothing he appeared to be wearing are a pair of pointed, black spats, along with a pair of dark grey socks.
"Darn! I almost had it!" The man stood up and began to analyse his surroundings. "Now, where am I?! Am I in Austria?!" He then noticed Mr Boonchuy. "Ah, you're Thai."
"Yeah, is that a problem?" Mr Boonchuy asked.
"It is a problem!" The looney man replied. "I'm in Thailand and I don't have a tie! Neither do you now that I look at you up close!"
"Um…Who are you?" Mrs Boonchuy asked.
"Ah, food!" Quentin said as he noticed the barbecue stove. He walked towards it and pulled out a knife and fork. He began to eat the food off the stove like it were a plate. "Wow! This food is a little cold! But it will suffice!" He at every food off the stove and then performed a loud belch. "Okay, now that my dinner is done, I must do my squats." The man began to do some squats while making random honking noises.
The entire backyard party watched the man with a confused look on their faces. This strange man just crashed into the backyard, ate all their food off the stove and is now performing squats in the backyard for some reason.
"Excuse me, who are you?" Sasha asked.
"My name is Quentin Trembley, 8 and a half president of the United States of America!" The man replied. "Which is a country I need to get back to. So, does anyone know the president of Thailand?"
"Dude, you're in America." Anne said. "You just crash landed in my backyard while riding a firework."
"Of course I'm in America!" Quentin exclaimed. "If I were in Thailand I'd have seen people wearing a tie or two by now!"
"Why were you riding a firework?" Sasha asked.
"I was trying to get to Austria so I could live in the pouch of a mother kangaroo." Quentin replied.
"Why?!" Sasha exclaimed.
"Is it weird he hasn't mentioned me and Gus yet?" Grime asked.
"Hello Frogman and good day to you, elf." Quentin said while looking around the backyard. "This is a lovely party you guys are having. Whose funeral is it."
"If it were a funeral it would have been depressing." Gus said.
"When I was president, I demanded that funerals be fun because I hate seeing people be depressed." Quentin explained. "I also demanded that everyone bring an elf to a funeral so that's why I asked."
"You, were president?!" Mrs Boonchuy asked.
"Eight and a half Mrs…"
"Boonchuy."
"Eight and a half president of the United States, Mrs Boonjoy."
"It's Boonchuy."
"That's what I said, Boonjoy." Quentin said to the woman who gave him a judgmental glare.
Sasha snickered. "You're not a president."
"I was President!" Quentin argued. "Eight and a half to be specific!"
"Should I call someone?" Mr Boonchuy asked his wife.
"Uh….Just get your phone out just in case." Mrs Boonchuy replied.
"You can't be eight and a half president because A: There never was an 8 and a half president after….Who was the eighth president? Never mind. And B: If you were after whoever the eighth guy was, you'd be dead."
"Well my dear, after I founded Gravity Falls, I encased myself in peanut brittle. Just ask my congresswoman Mabel Pines." Quentin's response made everyone freeze in shock.
"Uh….Did he say Mabel was a congresswoman?" Anne asked.
"He's gotta be joking." Gus said.
"Just ask her and her brother, Dapper!" Quentin said.
"There's no way you no the Pines." Sasha said with a smug smile. "Right?" They looked at each other skeptically and froze when they realised something. What if this crazy buffoon was right?
And so, they made a call to Gravity Falls and straight to Dipper Pines. On the other side of the states, Dipper was in his bedroom reading a book about nanotechnology while Wendy was resting on his chest.
Dipper sighed. "Unbelievable. That's where he ended up."
On the other end, Anne was talking to Dipper on her phone in speaker mode so everyone could hear him. "Oh, so you know him?"
Quentin shoved his face to Anne's phone. "Dapper! Is that you?!"
"Yes, Quentin, it's me." Dipper replied.
"Oh my deviled eggs!" Quentin exclaimed. "You're trapped in this box!" He reached into his pocket and pulled out a hammer which he held by the head as opposed to the handle.
"No!" Sasha and Anne tackled the insane president to the floor to prevent the mad man from destroying the phone.
"So wait, you know this man?" Mr Boonchuy asked.
"Yes, Quentin Trembley, eight and a half president and founder of Gravity Falls." Dipper explained. "Me and Mabel found him when me and Mabel managed to expose the Northwest family for being frauds."
"Northwest?" Sasha asked. "So you exposed your girlfriend's own family before you got together?"
"You tried to kill Anne before you two briefly became girlfriends." Dipper retorted.
"Touché." Sasha said.
"Turns out, the US government didn't want any file about him to be let out in public because they were embarrassed about him. He is said to be the silliest president the United States ever had. We were chased by our idiot cops, Blubs and his husband, Durland since they were in league with the government." Dipper continued. "We were saved because he never signed a letter of resignation so…He's technically, legally still the United States president."
"That's because I ate a salamander and jumped out the window!" Quentin exclaimed.
"And after we saved him, he made Mabel a congresswoman and I had a negative 12 dollar bill."
"That sounds worthless." Anne remarked.
"Not really!" Quentin argued.
"Sounds useful." Grime said. "I agree with the lunatic."
"Thank you, Frog Man!" Quentin said.
"I'm a toad." Grime reminded him.
"Tomato, potato!" Quentin argued.
"Listen you guys, Quentin has been causing a lot of problems around the states and it will only be a matter of time before the government starts chasing him." Dipper said. "So I want you to….." They then heard the sound of what sounded like kissing on the other end. "….Just move them away."
"Okay." Gus said. "Where would you like to go?"
"A place in England called Sheffield!" Quentin replied. "That place better have chefs in field."
"No, I wasn't talking to you." Dipper said. "Okay…I want you…Do you really need to go there?"
"I do!" Quentin exclaimed. "I want to find out where the field chefs are!"
"I wasn't talking about Sheffield, I was talking to someone else!" Dipper said. "Now, try and not get handsy with them."
"Are you talking to us or someone else?" Sasha asked.
"Both." Dipper said. "Wendy, I get you just woke up but…I'm a little busy."
"I heard Quentin Trembley, is it Quentin Trembley again?" Wendy asked.
"Yes. He's in LA and Anne and Sasha are dealing with him." Dipper explained.
"Hey guys!" Wendy said.
"Hey Wendy." Everyone responded.
"Greetings Lady Windy." Quentin greeted.
"Yo Quentin." Wendy said.
"Okay you guys, this might be hard work, but you need to keep an eye on Quentin until I get here." Dipper said. "I'd come right now but….I'm tired and…." They heard the sound of two lips smacking. "…I'm with Wendy."
"Oh really, I didn't know." Grime responded sarcastically.
"I'll get him back to Gravity Falls tomorrow." Dipper said. "You just need to take care of him."
"Take care of him?!" Mrs Boonchuy exclaimed in anger. "Are you nuts?! I can't take care of this man!"
"You took care of a family frogs and currently have a witch in your care." Dipper retorted.
Mrs Boonchuy was about to argue but then gave up. "Okay, you make a good point."
"Right make sure he doesn't try and do anything he might do. Just keep him distracted by listening to his mad stories." Dipper said.
"We'll do our best." Sasha said. "Just don't take too long."
"I won't I promise." Dipper hung up on the phone and went to kissing his girlfriend.
"So, Los Angeles tomorrow?" Wendy asked in-between kisses.
"Yup." Dipper replied as he felt his girlfriend's bicep. "Ooooh, did you build more muscle in the bicep?"
"Have I?" Wendy asked. She began to feel her bicep and smiled. "Huh, I guess I do." Dipper lifted the hem of his girlfriend's shirt and stroked his girlfriend's abs gently. "And what about my abs?"
"What about them?" Dipper asked.
"What about my sleep?!" Mabel screamed. "I get you two are together and I'm happy for you but could you please let me get some sleep?! And don't do what I think is going on in that adult brain of yours!"
"She's right, I do need sleep if I am gonna put up with Trembley on my eight hour ride back here." Dipper said.
"That's fair." Wendy said.
Back in LA, Quentin was currently standing in front of the bathroom door, narrowing his eyes at it. "So, you dare block my path to the toilet!" He raised his fists. "Put 'em up you cowardly rapscallion!"
"It's just the door." Mr Boonchuy said.
"And it's in my way!" Quentin crashed through the door causing Mr Boonchuy to scream. "Oh, I am thirsty." He took a glass cup and began to drink from the toilet, causing Mr Boonchuy some disgust.
Anne, Sasha, Gus and Grime watched on with worried and deadpanned expressions. "Uh…." Anne said.
"Man, this is going to be hard." Sasha said.
"Don't worry." Grime said. "We can handle this guy. I mean, the only hard part if getting his leg out of a drawer. It's not like the government will be interested in this buffoon."
"Grime, they will be." Anne said. "He is the president after all."
Meanwhile in some base in the middle of the desert. Me X was reviewing some security footage of fireworks blasting off in LA. He was keen on a certain huge firework that had what looked like a human riding on it.
Agent Powers walked in with a coffee in his hand. "Ah, Mr X." He said.
"Agent Powers, I think we're working together again." Mr X remarked.
"It appears so." Agent Powers remarked. "So, where is our man?"
"CCTV footage I got shows him flying in LA on one of those huge illegal fireworks from Indonesia." Mr X replied. "And tracing where he has landed…." He froze when he recognised the house. "….Is that…Oooooooh, damn. I hope they aren't involved with this one. Because it's going to be like England dealing with King George III."
And so in a montage, Quentin was living his life in his temporary residence of the Boonchuy residence and was living life in his own unique way.
He was supposed to be sleeping on the couch but instead of sleeping on the couch, he was sleeping like he were a bat. Mr Boonchuy was the first noticed this and checked his pulse to see if he had some blood flowing. But he somehow slapped him in the face.
At one point, Domino as in the tree terrified for her life. Since she was being threatened by Quenten and a pack of dogs whom were barking at her.
Before breakfast, Mrs Boonchuy decided to take a shower. But when she opened the door, she was greeted to the sight of a naked Quenten Trembley in the sink scrubbing his back with a wet toilet brush and eating a bar of soap. She closed the door and decided to use the downstairs one instead.
At one point, Quenten was having an argument with his reflection about where he hid the Declaration of Independence while being watched by Grime and Gus whom were slightly entertained by his antics.
Another point, Anne was studying amphibians and reptiles so she could be better at herpetology. But she was struggling to work because Quenten was busy screaming the American National Anthem while doing a handstand and in reverse.
At one point, Sasha and Grime were practicing some sparring together when all of a sudden Quenten drove past them, riding a lawnmower like it were an ostrich.
At one point, Anne, Sasha, Gus and Grime were sitting on the couch watching Cosmic Frontier together. Specifically, one of the episodes of the nineties where O'Bailey was damaged and saddened while Bexley was doing everything she could to comfort him.
"How can I live like this?" O'Bailey asked. "I lost control of myself and I couldn't save Avery."
Bexley sat next to her cybernetic lover. "Everything is gonna be okay. Please try your best to not cry."
O'Bailey began to cry. "I miss him so much! I don't know what I'd do without him! How do I even live without him?! Do I even breathe without him?!"
Gus and Grime were crying while Anne and Sasha were looking unimpressed. "This is emotional?" Sasha asked.
"They wouldn't have the guts to kill off Avery." Anne argued. "It would anger the whole fanbase!"
"Why?!" Gus cried.
"How can O'Bailey continue without him?!" Grime asked as more tears came out of his eyes.
Then, the Boonchuys walked in looking annoyed. "Anne, how long till Dipper gets here?" Mrs Boonchuy asked. "It's been eight hours already."
"Okay, what time do you think he set off?" Anne asked.
"But if you wanna know, he is stuck in traffic so he should be here in three hours." Sasha explained.
The Boonchuys sighed. "Typical Los Angeles." Mr Boonchuy shook his head.
"What's he doing this time?" Gus asked. "Don't tell me he's sunbathing in the oven."
"He isn't." Mr Boonchuy said.
"Ahhh! I feel like I am gonna fit right in at the country club!" They walked in to check on Trembley whom was in his underwear, sunbathing right in front of the open freezer.
"Okay, he should get hypothermia." Sasha remarked.
"Me and your father can't take babysitting this man!" Mrs Boonchuy exclaimed. "I don't care if he is the president, he is too insane for me to keep."
"Well let's throw him out on the street so Dipper can get him!" Grime suggested.
"No!" Anne argued. "The government could spot him!"
"So?!" Grime argued.
Anne stared at him with a judgemental stare. "What's your argument?"
Grime shrugged his shoulders. "I….Don't know. I just want him out. He's been harassing us."
"He kept playing with my ears since they're so pointy." Gus said.
"He forbid me to learn French because he thinks the actual French will eat my legs!" Grime exclaimed.
"Why are you learning French?" Sasha asked.
"I just wanted to do something fun before he said that the French eat frogs legs!" Grime argued. "I'm a toad! Is it true that the French do that?!"
"It's a delicacy." Mr Boonchuy replied.
"But I don't think a lot of them do eat them." Mrs Boonchuy said.
"OH! I'd love to try frogs legs!" Gus exclaimed with excitement, causing everyone to stare at him with a surprised look.
"Of course you do." Anne said.
"He was eating a steak lunch with a butter knife and no fork!" Sasha exclaimed. "I know it sounds petty but as a carnivore that just annoys me!"
"What do you suggest we do?!" Anne asked.
"Take him anywhere he wants for a few hours until Dipper gets here." Mrs Boonchuy demanded. "I can't clean up another mess after the Plantars!"
Suddenly, she heard the sound of glass breaking and they saw that Quentin had destroyed the window. "There was a fly on the window! Thankfully, I used the first thing I could find." Turned out the first thing he used was the deck chair he was freezebathing on.
Mr and Mrs Boonchuy gave everyone panicked stares since this was more money out of their bank. "Okay, we'll take him anywhere we want."
"Yes! Take me swimming!" Quenten exclaimed. "I know the perfect place!"
Anne, Sasha, Grime and Gus gave smiles. "Great!" Anne exclaimed. "Let Sasha and I get our swimsuits on and we'll be on our way!"
"I hope there is no twist when we get there!" Grime said.
But when they got to the so-called swimming place, it was actually a play area and Quenten was swimming in the ball pit on his own while his three escorts, Anne, Sasha and Grime watched on in disbelief.
"I can't believe we got dressed in our swimsuits for this." Anne remarked in annoyance.
"We walked 45 minutes, for this." Grime remarked in annoyance.
"Best way to get rid of that gut." Sasha retorted to him.
"What the heck?!" Anne exclaimed.
"Anne, you actually liked Grime's gut?!" Sasha asked in anger.
"No!" Anne yelled. "I mean, this is nightmarish!"
"At least the kids ran out as fast as they could as soon as he did that cannonball." Grime remarked.
"Is it safe to go back in?" A random kid around five years old asked Grime.
"Do you think it looks safe?" Grime retorted while pointing to Quenten.
He was currently screaming in fear at what appeared to be a toy shark in the ball pit with him. "Aahhhh! Keep the shark away from me! It's going to eat me!"
Grime groaned. "Unbelievable!"
"Right, we're going somewhere else!" Sasha declared.
"I, Quenten Trembley request we go to the library!" Quenten declared.
"Great!" Sasha exclaimed. "Library! It's just a bit of light reading! Let's go!"
"Wait, where's Gus?" Grime asked.
Meanwhile, Gus was screaming while hanging from some monkey bars. "Oh Titan! This was a dumb idea! I can't get down without hurting myself." But in actuality, he was like, 8 inches off the floor.
"Just go!" One of the toddlers whined.
Later at the library, Grime and Gus were reading some Cosmic Frontier while Anne and Sasha were reading a manga called La Kill La La Kill. While Quenten had Hacker in the Rye in his hand. But…Instead of reading it, he was eating the pages.
"Oh crap!" Sasha exclaimed. "Quenten!"
"I want to be one with the trees!" Quenten exclaimed. "So I'm eating them so I can feel close!" He ate a few more pages. "You there, hand me that book of yours! By the way, you're reading it wrong!"
"This is how you read, Manga!" Anne argued.
"We better get going before the librarian finds him!" Sasha said.
"Agreed! I am hungry!" Quenten declared.
"Oh boy." Anne said.
"I am not prepared for where he will take us." Sasha said.
But in actuality, he had taken the group to an Australian themed restaurant. This was a surprise to Anne and Sasha while Grime and Gus looked baffled.
"Uh…..Is this bad?" Gus asked.
"No, it's an Australian themed restaurant." Anne said.
A man wearing a reptilian vest walked towards the group. "G'day." He acknowledged the knives on the table they were sitting at. "Those aren't knives." He then pulled a ginormous knife from his pocket. "That's a knife."
Grime laughed. "You call that a knife?" He reached into his pocket and pulled a bigger knife. "This, is a knife."
"Woah mate!" The staff member known as Alligator Dundee backed away. "This wasn't a contest." He then walked away.
"Wow, I'm surprised you took us here." Anne said. "Wait, what's the twist? Are you going to fight that stuffed crocodile?"
"No!" Quenten replied. "That would be a silly thing for me to do."
"Uh huh, because everything you did today wasn't silly at all." Sasha retorted sarcastically.
"I came here to eat at this very boutique because I like their food and it was also the country that had the peanut brittle encasing idea!" Quenten said. "A method taught by my good buddy, King George III of England."
In that moment, Anne and Sasha were giving the crazy president a surprised stare. "Uh….I don't know much about history, but wasn't King George III your enemy?"
"Also, wasn't he dead at that point?" Sasha asked.
"He was as mad as an English goose having crumpets!" Quenten exclaimed.
"That's not a saying." Anne said.
"Everyone in England thought he was dead but in actuality, he encased himself in peanut brittle so he could see the future!" Quenten replied. "But some idiot thawed him out and took him to America where he met me and we became fast friends! There, he taught me how to encase myself in peanut brittle which I did and I haven't seen that royal fool in almost two centuries. I wonder if he's doing well?"
His escorts did not know what to make of the story. "England has monarchs?!" Grime exclaimed.
"Well, they don't exactly do much." Sasha said.
Quenten shushed Sasha. "Do not say anything disrespectful about that useless monarchy! I've been to England and a majority of people, get really sensitive about it even though a lot of them caused a lot of problems!"
"Ookay." Anne said before she looked at the menu. "Wow, a lot of this stuff looks good."
"I think I'll have the Chicken parmigiana." Sasha said.
"And I'll have the barramundi." Anne said. "Whatever that is."
Quenten turned to the waiter. "My good sir, I'll have the Wiener Schnitzel!"
"The what mate?" The waiter asked.
"The Wiener Schnitzel."
"Sorry mate, we don't have that on the menu." The waiter argued.
Quenten stood to his feet. "Oh that is bull squabble! This is an Austrian restaurant is it not?!"
In that moment, Anne, Sasha, Grime and Gus froze. "Ohhhhh!"
"That's bad right?" Gus asked.
"Of course it is!" Sasha exclaimed. "He is gonna cause a scene."
"I demand to speak to the man or woman who runs this establishment!" Quenten demanded.
"You mean the manager?" The man asked while getting his phone out to record Quenten's outburst.
"Yes the manager! I demand to speak to the manager!" Quenten demanded aggressively.
"We're leaving!" Sasha declared.
"Yes! I am leaving!" Quenten declared. "And to show my frustration with this lying restaurant I shall do what must be done!" The mad president took a knife and fork and moved them left to right instead of right to left. "That pisses you off, doesn't it?!"
Later, outside the restaurant, Anne, Sasha, Gus and Grime were outside doing various things while trying to think of a plan. Gus was busy projecting an illusion of a cat that Quenten was chasing around in circles like he were a dog.
"Come back here!" Quenten demanded. "I demand it!"
Grime was standing on lookout in case the president did something stupid. But once he looked across the street he saw Death with his pocket watch out. He pointed to the number two revealing to Grime that he now has two months left to live.
Quenten looked across the street. "Is that the Grim Reaper?! Good afternoon, dear sir! How is my successor?!"
Anne and Sasha on the other hand were annoyed by Quenten's idiocy and decided to call for Dipper. "Dipper, where are you?" Anne asked.
"I'm just approaching your home." Dipper replied. "Man, you will not believe what caused the traffic. It was construction workers and a car crash as well as a bunch of goats stuck on the road. It was insanity! How is he?"
"Madness!" Anne exclaimed. "How did you put up with him?!"
"Well, me and Mabel put up with him for about fifty minutes." Dipper explained. "And since you had him for more than that….I'm assuming he's driven you insane?"
"And got us kicked out of a few places." Sasha said. "I was going to that restaurant with my Mom."
"Where are you now?" Dipper asked.
"Okay, well we're outside the Australian restaurant." Anne explained. "Could you drive there?"
"I can't." Dipper replied. "My legs are dead and I need to walk off a bit."
"Are you kidding me?!" Sasha exclaimed.
"I had drive 11 hours!" Dipper argued. "Three of them in traffic! Like, why is Los Angeles filled with so much traffic?!"
"That is a mystery." Anne and Sasha replied simultaneously.
"How far is it away from your house?" Dipper asked.
"Around 29 minutes." Anne replied.
"Okay, bring him back here so I can take him to Gravity Falls." Dipper requested. "You got it?"
"Got it!" Anne and Sasha replied before hanging up.
"Okay gang, Dipper is gonna be at my house in a few minutes so we need to get you back, Mr President." Anne said.
"Very well!" Quenten responded while chasing the cat. "But first, let me catch this little beast!" Gus made the illusion of the cat disappear, causing Quenten to be shocked. "Oh my! Where did it go?!"
"Come on Quenten!" Grime pulled him up from his collar. "We have to get going!"
Sasha gave a relived sigh. "It won't be long till we're finally rid of you."
"Have you not enjoyed my company?" Quenten asked like he was insulted.
"No." Sasha replied bluntly.
Instead of being offended, Quenten just smiled. "Well, I wasn't gonna be friends with everyone! That's what Benjamin Franklin said in their notes. Such a fine woman."
"Don't you mean, man?" Sasha asked.
"No." Quenten replied.
"Okay, let's go!" Anne exclaimed before they were stopped by armoured vehicles. "Wait what?!" They were also stopped by armoured trucks, armoured choppers, armoured jets and even armoured ice cream carts.
"The jig is up, fugitive!" Agent Powers declared.
Grime and Gus screamed. "Ahhh! They're onto us!"
"It's not over, Gus!" Grime assured him before he picked him up and jumped into the sewer.
Anne and Sasha raised their hands in the air while Quenten just raised his feet. From the crowd of agents and vehicles came Mr X, Jenny and Agent Powers.
Mr X pinched his nose in annoyance. "Really, Boonchuy? You're protecting this doofus?"
"Sir that is not nice!" Quenten said. "It's not her fault, she's blonde!"
Sasha narrowed her eyes at Quenten. "What?!"
"Mr X, why can't he go back to Gravity Falls?" Anne asked. "It's obvious it's where he belongs."
"As much as I'd like to send him back, we can't." Mr X replied.
"He's too much of a humiliation to be left out in the wilderness." Agent Powers replied.
"The government is afraid that everyone will eventually figure out who he is and would do some studying and then they'd figure out who he is and then we'd get exposed for another lie." Agent Powers explained. "So, we're going to send him to the one place where he will never be exposed. Area 51."
"With the aliens?!" Sasha exclaimed.
"We can neither confirm nor deny that we have aliens at Area 51." Mr X replied. The FBI agent gave a regretful exhale. "I'm sorry girls, but the man is coming with us."
Suddenly, multiple versions of Anne, Sasha and Quenten appeared with a blue puff of smoke. "What the?" Quenten reacted.
"What is going on?" One of the Anne's reacted.
"Am I that hot?" One of the Sashas asked.
"Yes you are." Another one responded.
"I knew I had multiple identical siblings!" Quenten exclaimed like he was betrayed.
"Go and scatter!" One of the Annes said before all of the Annes, Sashas and Quentens began to scatter around the agents and vehicles.
"Uh…Which is which?!" One of the agents asked.
"Don't worry, my glasses will tell which is which." Mr X tried to use his X-Ray glasses to scan which one was which. But since they were moving so fast, he couldn't exactly tell. "Dang it! I can't find them!" He eventually found Anne, Sasha and Quenten running away to the right. Mr X, Powers and a few agents chased after the girls and president while the rest lifted the sewer lid to see Gus and Grime in the sewer.
Gus was casting an illusion while Grime was raised his hands high in the air. "Go ahead and arrest me you filthy warthogs!"
"Wrong mammal, Grime." Gus said.
"Oh sorry! Arrest me you filthy sheep!"
Meanwhile, Sasha, Anne and Quenten were running for their lives from Mr X, Agent Powers and the few FBI agents after them.
"I demand that you stop!" Mr X demanded as he activated his skates.
"This is the largest amount of exercise I've had in two months!" Agent Powers shouted.
He tried tackling the crazy president but then, as he got close, Sasha punched him in the face. Sending him skating backwards.
Sasha panicked. "Ahh! I punched a federal agent! Ooooh, this is not gonna look good on my job application!"
They jumped over an open sewer crate, vaulted over a traffic cone and then shoved a random civilian aside.
"Out of the way random pedestrian!" Quenten demanded.
"I'd be angered about this, but I needed an excuse to get out of work." The pedestrian said.
The agents ran over the unconscious man still chasing the trio whom were getting closer to them.
"They're gaining on us!" Quenten exclaimed in fear. "Quick, somebody throw me so we can lose them."
"Not gonna help!" Anne argued.
Sasha then noticed a pair of lead pipes on the ground and then had a bright idea. "Anne, you run off with Quenten! I'm gonna hold them off!" Sasha picks up the lead pipes and began the wiled them like they were swords.
"Sasha!" Anne yelled out.
"Just go!" Sasha commanded to Anne and Quenten.
"Yes Ma'm!" Quenten responded with a salute before he continued to run. Anne wanted to stay behind to look after her best friend but knew the mad president needed protecting. She began to follow Quenten while Sasha stayed back.
Then, Sasha turned to the agents and aimed her lead pipes at them. The agents aimed their weapons at the teenage girl before she quickly disarmed of their weapons. But then, Agent Powers grabbed ahold of the lead pipes before Sasha could knock him out.
"Nice try, Miss Waybright." Agent Powers said before disarming her of her weapons. She tried to punch him in the face, but he then grabbed her by the wrist and slammed her on the ground.
"Federal brutality!" Sasha exclaimed before she saw Mr X skate past on his roller skates.
"I got them, Powers!" Mr X yelled out toward him as he continued to chase the two.
Anne and Quenten were close to a hill that they would soon have to run down all while Quenten was beginning to get close to them.
Quenten looked horrified. "Anne, the man has roller skates! We can't outrun him!" He was then pulling an annoyed scowl. "I told congress our soldiers needed roller skates but they said that idea was too silly! Well look at this, congress! They clearly can catch up to us!"
"Not for long!" Anne noticed Darryl in front of her, walking with his bike at his side.
"Hey Anne, I've written a song." Darryl said. "Want to hear me sing it?"
Quenten screamed. "By jove! What is this hideous creature?!"
"A bike." Anne replied.
"No, I meant the hideous creature with the bike." Quenten's insult made Darryl hang his head down.
"Ow."
"My boy, I never hurt you just yet!" He insisted before picking him up and tossing him into a trash can.
"Quenten!" Anne yelled in disgust. "I don't like Darryl as much as the next person but….You know what, this might be better for him." Anne took the bike and jumped in the seat.
Quenten picked up the guitar that was on the basket in the front before smashing it on the ground. He then jumped into the basket while Anne began to ride the bike down the hill, still with Mr X following them from behind.
They rode down the very steep hill at top speed, causing Anne some regret and the wind to blow in her face. "Oh no! This is a bad idea!"
"Nonsense! It wasn't!" Quenten assured her as they rode down faster down the hill.
"I'm about the crash!" Anne screamed.
"Anne, that ramp!" Quenten yelled out to the girl while pointing to a convenient skateboard ramp that was being operated by two teenagers whom were bullying a ten year old kid.
"This is a skateboard ramp!" The teenager said to the kid with a bike. "You can't ride that two wheeled contraption on it!"
Then Anne rode past and sped up the ramp and into the air, surprising the kid and teenagers. But instead of admitting defeat, the teenagers just looked at the boy with a scowl.
"Just because she did it, doesn't mean you should!"
Anne and Quenten flew in the air over LA. They flew over pedestrians, some LA traffic and a house before crashing in a random ally while doing an Anime style bike slide.
Anne began to pant, trying to get her breath after that death defying experience. Quenten on the other hand, was thrilled.
"Golly! We should get chased more often."
"Not a load of fun!" Anne retorted. "Come on, we're almost home!"
Before they could move out the ally, they were stopped by a bunch of agents and Agent Powers holding their weapons at them. Anne once again raised her hands high while Quenten just raised his feet.
Then from the crowd, the agents shoved Grime, Gus and Sasha passed the agents so Anne and Quenten could see that they were cuffed. Anne gasped at the sight.
"Oh no. What did they do?"
"They put handcuffs on us." Sasha replied.
"I can't go to human jail! Imagine how that will ruin my chance of becoming ambassador of human/witch relations!" Gus exclaimed.
Then from the crowd, a disappointed Mr X walked out. "Boonchuy. Boonchuy. Boonchuy. Did we really need to do this again? After all that has happened between us, I assumed we'd be allies."
"Mr X, he needs to get home." Anne replied. "Can't you see he's just a lost president far from home?"
"I can and we will send him to a better area." Mr X responded. "Area 51 may seem like an Area where we keep all of our secrets but we have food and showers."
"You think you can take him?!" Sasha exclaimed.
"We're the US federal agents, little girl." Mr X said. "We have higher authority than you'll ever have."
In that moment, Anne remembered something important that needed mentioning. "And you answer to the President?"
"Yes." Mr X replied.
"And, they have higher control over you?"
"So what?" Mr X asked. "Do you know a president in power?"
"You're looking at him!" Anne exclaimed.
"You mean the ex president?!" Mr X laughed. "You expect us to follow him! He's no longer president!"
"Ah, but, did he sign his resignation letter?" Anne asked.
"Just so you know, I ate a salamander and jumped out the window!" Quenten informed the agents.
The agents knew in that moment, what this very well meant, causing them to lower their weapons. "X, it means this madman is still our President." Agent Powers said.
"What?!" Mr X exclaimed in anger and shock. "Powers, you're joking!"
"You know I never joke, X." Agent Powers said. "I am incapable of joking. Also, I never wrote the constitution. So….This moron is still our president."
"Quick, Quenten, command them." Anne said.
"Of course!" Quenten coughed. "Agents of the United States! I command you to let go of these prisoners from their shackles!"
The agents did as they were told and released Sasha, Grime and Gus from their cuffs. They smiled at the President, feeling appreciated for his rescue.
"I will also like to declare Augustus Porter as the Demon Realm ambassador to Human and Demon Realm relations!"
Gus grinned with excitement. "Really?!"
"Yes!" Quenten replied. "Now, I demand you agents to drop your pants down and go home!"
"What?!" Mr X exclaimed.
"Do as the man, says." Agent Powers requested.
Mr X and all the other agents reluctantly dropped their pants down to reveal their underwear and then walked away to do their own things.
Mr X, Agent Powers and Jenny got in the van with X feeling humiliated. "Uh…..I thought chasing down frogs would be the most humiliating moment of my life." Jenny started the engine and began to drive back to headquarters.
Back in the ally, Sasha was surprised. "Woah! Why did you you make them drop your pants?"
"Because I hate pants!" Quenten replied.
"Then what are you wearing?" Gus asked.
"My undergarments." Anne, Sasha, Grime and Gus stared at him in shock. "Why are you disgusted?! What did you think they were?!"
"Just very puffy shorts!" Sasha replied in disgust.
"Right! Let's go before the CIA come after us next!" Anne said.
When they made it to the Boonchuy residence, they saw Dipper waiting by his car. He smiled at the group before gagging.
"Why do a couple of you smell like a sewer?" Dipper asked.
"Because I had to go into a sewer." Gus replied. "Plus, I'm now the ambassador of Human Realm and Demon Realm relations!"
Dipper had no idea what to say about this. "Uh….Good for you."
Quenten smiled at Dipper. "Dapper!"
"Dipper."
"My jove my boy, you have grown!" Quenten exclaimed. "You were as tall as a beaver the last time I saw you! What creature cursed you?!"
"Blame it on puberty." Dipper replied.
"Where is this ghastly creature?!" He raised his fists. "I shall put 'em up a good fight!"
Dipper laughed. "I did not miss you. Come on, Gravity Falls awaits."
Before Quenten could get on the car, he turned to the four. "Anne, Sasha, Grime, Gus, thank you for being excellent escorts."
"Wasn't a pleasure." Sasha said.
"I still think you're insane!" Grime exclaimed.
"Thanks for making me ambassador." Gus said.
"My pleasure, Trembley!" Anne said with a smile.
Dipper got in his car. "Quenten, you coming?"
"I'm coming on your carriage!" Instead of getting in the back seat or passenger, he jumped into the trunk.
Dipper just shrugged his shoulders before setting off. "I'll see you guys when I can!"
"See ya, Dipper." Anne said. "What do you think will happen to Quenten when he gets back to Gravity Falls?"
"I'm gonna say….Become king of the forest." Sasha theorised.
"Likely." Anne replied.
The four walked in the house hoping to have a shower after a long day. "Man, I am desperate for a shower." Gus said.
"I can put up with enough cra…..say what is that strange old man?"
In front of Sasha, Anne, Grime and Gus was a man in his mid 80's dressed in Georgian era royal clothing shaking the TV. "Bloody hell! How do I get these poor gits out of this magic box?!"
The four were left baffled by what they were seeing. As if one crazy guy wasn't enough for them. "Uh….Who is this crazy man?" Anne asked.
The Boonchuys walked up to them looking exhausted. "Anne, meet your second problem of the day. Quenten Trembley's best friend." Mr Boonchuy said.
"King George III of England." Mrs Boonchuy said.
"That's King George III of England to you, Ma'm!" The former monarch exclaimed.
"That is literally what I said!" Mrs Boonchuy argued.
Anne, Grime, Sasha and Gus just stared at the man with deadpanned expressions. "Uh…." But instead of staying, they just ran out of the house, not wanting to deal with another crazy old man.