Chapter 59: The End of Patience

Early morning…

Riku had worked a long shift in the hospital and was just coming back home after barely getting sleep on the flight back.

And the first thing he did with his spare time was return to his main workplace and visit Alice.

She sat glumly in her bed, a small smile crossing her face as she stared at the curtains.

He made his presence known by opening them up for her slowly, and she said "That's fine" once he had them halfway parted.

"How are you feeling this morning, Alice?" He whispered, "Have you gotten something to eat yet?"

She shook her head and patted her stomach, "Today, my stomach is feeling nauseous."

Riku nodded and said "Very well" while accepting this returning condition as the status quo for the day.

While going to his medical cabinet to get her some stomach relaxers, he heard a whisper in his ear, "you waste time. let it go. accept failure."

He moved as though the only presence in this room was himself and his patient. As it should be.

He handed her two pills and then poured her a clean glass of ice cold water, the chill he needed to subtly provide with his powers applied to the pitcher.

She took them with a finite show of reluctance, and then held her hand up with fingers laid out. She could only manage this for a moment, but Riku took it gently and examined the fingernails.

There was discoloration under them, leaning towards a bluish-purple.

"Hmmm, this is new…" He rang up one of his assistants to have them roll in an oxygen machine to connect Alice up to.

Upon receiving the pipes in her nose, she closed her eyes and whispered, "Not for me."

She then gave a discomforting chuckle before remarking, "Maybe this time it'll finally be the end."

"Please do not think that way, Alice." Riku murmured.

She tilted her head and remarked, "You've already had me for two months, and nothing's changed. Nothing ever changes."

"You may find my efforts disparaging, but I will keep trying. I can't stop trying." Riku said, firm in his tone of voice.

Alice's closed eyes and creased smile embraced tenderness and doubt, "You've persisted longer than most, doctor. Everyone before you was forced to give up by now."

Riku suspected why. Many cloudy nights of unrest built up to an obvious truth: She was tied to his nightmares, and the voice that came with it.

"The world is vast, and still unknown in many ways. I do not know why you have this power…this curse, Alice. But my duty as a doctor is to cure what ills you. And truthfully, you do not seem to view this curse as an illness."

He looked into her eyes. He could see a faint wiggling, one-eyed soul staring back at him from within her pupils.

She turned her head and her smile resigned itself to her aching spirit, "...You are a strange one, doctor."

Riku turned the other way and while gathering up items he needed to give her another check he noted, "We all have our quirks, Alice."

"I think it's more than a quirk, doctor. You're strong. And kind. But also…very optimistic."

Riku smiled and humored her observation with one towards himself, "I seek the best outcome I can bring. But…I am willing to accept that there are some things I cannot change."

He sat in a chair beside her and pulled out a heart rate monitor.

She looked him in the eyes and whispered tenderly, "So when I die, you'll accept it?"

"..." Riku shivered for a moment, but looked her dead in the eyes, "You will not die."

"That's not what I asked." She said in a moment of defiance.

"..." Riku paused to let her heart rate check go through, and it wildly fluctuated between a pulse of 80 to a pulse of 200.

"Alice, did you know that zebra meat tastes sweet even when cooked?"

Alice fluttered her eyelashes, "Huh?"

Riku smiled and looked at her again, "Did you know that among birds, only the Hummingbird can fly backwards?"

Alice opened her mouth, but remained in silence.

"Did you know that a rhino's horn is made out of keratin, like our hair and nails?"

Alice smiled and shook her head with a slight giggle, "Everyone should know that one. What's the point of all this?"

Riku noticed that her pulse stabilized for a very brief second at a normal rate.

He then told her softly, "There's still so much in this world you can learn about and grow from…Why are you so determined to go elsewhere?"

Alice shed her laughter and frowned, her heart rate fluctuating right as Riku was about to disconnect the machine.

"You can't explore the world without dealing with people." She whispered bitterly.

"You're not a fan, I take it?" But to his surprise, she shook her head.

"I don't hate people. I hate that we're capable of being mean for no good reason."

Riku closed his eyes and bobbed his head slowly, "You're right. That is unfair."

"The best day of your life can become a tragedy in the blink of an eye. A simple walk could turn into a life-ending event. Even betting on something with 100% certainty…may lead to you being punished years down the road when you least expect it."

"But if you spend every day thinking the worst is yet to come, that's not living."

Alice laughed. So sweet was its sound, but without the serenity to make it truly lovely, "You believe a little hope will change my mind?"

Riku shook his head, "Faith. I want you to have faith."

"I…can't, with all due respect, doctor," Alice then murmured, "And it's as you say. A life cannot be sustained on paranoia and fear. So you agree that I should die then?"

Riku stood up and firmly stood in place, "I would never condone that."

Alice's usual forced smile was replaced with confusion, "...I don't understand how you can speak so confidently as though you have a choice, doctor."

"...Saving lives isn't the means to a paycheck for me, Alice. It has always meant so…so much more."

"The capacity for humans to be rude to one another is unfair. But losing one's life to a stroke of illness? Even moreso."

"You may not see worth in yourself, Alice. I cannot pretend to understand what drives you to seek 'Wonderland'."

"But…" Riku laid his hand out towards her and whispered sincerely, his chest wincing in pain, "Trust in me, and when this is all over…I will give you 'Wonderland' here on Earth."

"..." Alice shed a single tear down her cheek and immediately rolled to her other side, "...S-Some people simply weren't meant to belong here, doctor. I just want to go home…to my real…home."

Perhaps he had taken this a step too far, and burned away some of her trust.

There was much about the story of Alice yet to be said, but Riku felt like he was slowly piecing together what pained her the most.

And perhaps, through that, he would figure out how to cure her illness.

So for now, he would continue to give her his aid.

The rest was up to her.

He eventually took a break to get a cup of coffee and gather his thoughts. For all intents and purposes, he was stressed out, but endured it without complaints.

His co-workers certainly had a few words to say to him about working on Alice for so long with no signs of progress.

He put a little faith, fed them a little lie, to prevent the spread of rumors that there was cause of concern for her illness spreading.

And it was crucial now more than ever that he was the only one who entered the room with her, as long as she had that "nightmare" inside.

The curse was a persistent one, trying to warp his surroundings to fall into a nightmare, and whisper his worst fears into his eardrums like a sharp set of thorns.

But he drank his coffee and leaned back until the feeling passed.

It did remind him of something he needed to do before he got back to work.

He took out his phone and typed a message to Lunalei: "Hope you're having a good day."

And he felt content leaving it at that for now.

Meanwhile, over at school, Lunalei felt a buzz from her phone but still being at the tail end of her morning class she waited to check it.

Once the bell rang she took out her phone and started to browse the messages, while turning her gaze aside at the students departing, "Good job today everyone, enjoy the rest of your afternoon. Remember, we got a test next week, so study hard."

She quickly glanced at Serra running out the door, "That means you, Serra!"

"Ah never mind…" She grumbled as the marathoner was way out of range by now.

She then shook her head and looked at her phone.

Seeing her dad wish her well today sent a shiver of elation throughout her entire body. She held the phone against her chest and her smile widened.

"Geez, why did he start doing this lately?"

Her expression steadily returned to normal, and then ended on a frown.

She desired to hang out, even if it was just for a cup of coffee or two.

But all her free time was being eaten up, so now even if he offered she'd have to refuse.

And speaking of free time, now she needed to have lunch and read some more of that Lucid Dreaming book.

Before that though, she heard a knock at the door and Violet's voice asking, "Hey teach, can I come in?"

Lunalei glanced at the clock and with a brief shrug walked over and let her in. But the moment she opened the door, her shoulder bone let out a slight crack.

"Euuugh…" She groaned.

"What's up?" Violet worried.

Lunalei grumbled, "Ah, must've pulled a muscle working on a project…"

"You got some bags under your eyes too. Are you getting enough sleep?"

Lunalei held up her phone screen to get a look at her reflection, "Oh god, that's bad."

She grumbled while pinching the bridge between her eyes, "I've…been trying something new at night. Don't fret."

Violet raised her hands and wiggled her fingers, "Well, I could help with the muscle ache anyways!"

Lunalei jumped back onto one leg with shrunken pupils, and after Violet had a funny look she lowered her hands and dryly chuckled, "Oh yeah, probably not kosher to touch your teacher, huh?"

Lunalei shook her head, "I-It's not that…"

But she was interested, nudging her glasses up and perking her smile, "You know how to massage?"

Violet scratched the side of her face and enthusiastically murmured, "Ha ha ha…no."

"...Oh well, it's the thought that counts." Lunalei then started to make her way back to her desk, trying to project an air of business, but still paying respect to her student's presence.

"I imagine you didn't come here to answer my pain."

Violet rolled on up to the desk and leaned forward, innocently holding her arms back and twiddling her fingers out into the air, "I…was kind of hoping you'd be…interested in hanging out sometime? Maybe?"

She raised her brows and stiffened in place with an awkward smile.

And when she put her best foot forward like that, Lunalei felt her stomach twist in a knot as she prepared to put her down, "...Sorry, but I got a lot on my plate lately."

"R-Right, you're a teacher," Violet lifted herself back up and giggled, "Hey! Can't succeed if you don't try, yeah?"

She then snapped her fingers in front of her chest and proclaimed, "See you at class, teach!"

She then bolted out of the room, leaving Lunalei to feel as though she was doing a damn good job masking her disappointment.

Lunalei set her lunch out on the desk and flipped open the book to the marked page to pick up where she left off.

She took a sip of her drink and squinted at a particular fascinating page talking about setting goals before going into a dream.

"So going in with a plan to dream helps…I can do that. Easily. I wonder what type of dream I should dream…?"

She thought back to the sensational delight she felt when Alura cast that first illusion on her.

Getting to feel and act out life as though she was tall like her parents would be interesting to explore over a longer period of time…

But as much as she got her hopes up about enjoying it, she knew that wasn't the right course of action.

Cause the moment she woke up, she'd remember what she really is. And suffering disappointment would probably dissuade her from lucid dreaming.

"What I need to do is latch onto an idea that I enjoy, and make that the subject of my dream. That'll ensure maximum comfort."

"Which would be…working on technology! Or watching anime."

Pretty simple ideas to latch onto, but it's not like the book specifically asked for complexity.

"So what I should do is fiddle around with my tech before sleep. I can hide behind wanting to improve my sleep schedule and 'get to bed' earlier."

She then heard a knock on the door and furrowed her brows, "Now what?"

She put the book down and answered the door to find Zelene waiting for her with her arms at her waist.

Lunalei took one look at her body and was having second thoughts about her first idea for dreaming.

"H-Hey sis. I want to talk." She said tensely.

Lunalei sighed and nudged her glasses up, "Look, I got a full plate before the next class. We can talk later."

She started to shut the door but Zelene wedged her foot in the way and said bluntly, "When, sis?"

Lunalei held firmly onto the door and sounded aggravated, "I don't know. Later!"

"That's not an answer…!" Zelene forced herself into the room and immediately walked over to the desk to pick up the book.

"H-Hey!" Lunalei shut the door to keep anything from bleeding out and then took the book while Zelene was distracted.

She then slammed it on top of the desk and muttered, "What's the big idea? I said I'd talk later. If you can't wait, then go…talk to your friends or whatever."

Lunalei brushed her hand out and Zelene bit her lower lip, letting out a gasp of exasperation, "Friends, what friends?"

Lunalei caught herself and froze in place, stammering awkwardly, "W-Well there's…Leo. And…"

"Tsk…!" Zelene turned her head the other way and her gaze looked blunt and disappointed, "You don't know…"

Lunalei waved her hand out and grumbled, "So what? That's it? Do you need help making friends? Like. C'mon Zelene, is this an emergency or not?"

Zelene turned her head back and kept her voice down despite the intensity of her words, "Would you suddenly care if it was?!"

Lunalei shivered and then held tightly to the edge of the desk while pointing at the door, "Seriously. We'll deal with this at home."

"And how much time do I get before you disappear into your room? No, I'm sorry," She added a dash of sarcasm, "Before you disappear from the house?"

Lunalei paused with a tight gulp, but kept her cool upon looking her sister in the face and trying to treat her accusation like a delusion, "You're being ridic-"

Zelene's eyes became hidden under her bangs as she hung her head and raised her voice, "Xander has repeatedly been trying to get into your room late at night during bad storms because he used to like resting with you."

"One night, I decided to force the lock open and what did I find? Nothing!"

Lunalei's face turned pale, "T-That's…"

Zelene muttered, "Don't say you were in the bathroom."

Lunalei nudged her glasses up, "...How did you even break my lock to-"

"Don't change the subject, sis." Zelene muttered more bitterly this time.

Lunalei shook her head, trying to be patient with all this prodding, "Are you trying to get a confession out of me, cause I'm not guilty of anything."

"Then why. Won't you. Say something?!" Zelene said through gritted teeth, squeezing her fingertips into her skirt, "You're hiding something from us, from me…! And you don't seem to care that I'm concerned about you!"

Lunalei squinted tightly and turned around, "I didn't ask for you to do that. I'm the big sister. Maybe remember that the next time you look down on me from up high, Zelene."

Zelene slammed her hand down to pin hers on top of the desk, causing Lunalei to start shaking and feel an intense panic sensation in her chest.

She immediately turned around and growled, "Let. GO."

"That! That's it!" Zelene's tone was becoming increasingly angry and disappointed, "Ever since you came back into my life the only time we've spent together has consisted of you being jealous of my looks!"

Lunalei raised her voice, "Ha! That's rich, because you've sure as hell done nothing but flaunt it!"

"Ex-cuse me?!" Zelene gasped and recoiled, "Y-You…do you think I had much of a choice?! T-That I…wanted to look like a freak?!"

Lunalei took this time to try and pull Zelene's grip off with her other hand, "I'm serious, Zelene, you know I don't like this!"

"What, should I let go? S-so you can run out of my life like you did four years ago?!" Zelene bit her lower lip and traces of tears scattered out of her eyes.

"I-I had to go to college! So I could get a degree! So I could HELP others!"

"Y-You could've done it here! There was no reason you had to run away to the East Coast!" Zelene proclaimed.

"Damn it…!" Lunalei curled her bottom lip and pulled a pen out of her vest and brought it down upon Zelene's hand, thinking only of the consequences after the impact.

Zelene pulled her hand away at the last moment and was mortified. Her mouth agape, her eyes watering, she held no respect in her expression.

Lunalei flinched and threw the pen to the ground, backing away a couple steps.

Zelene squeezed her fists and threw them down at her sides, "I-I was 12 when you left…! About to enter the most troubling years of my life…!"

"All those…ASSHOLE bullies that tormented me for my strange hair flung insults the moment they knew you weren't around to protect me. And not only that, they put glue in my hair, they kicked me to the ground from behind."

"And then…puberty hit, and now those very same pieces of shit were hitting on me cause suddenly my looks were attractive to them!"

"They thought I was so weak-willed that I would simply roll over and let them have their way with me! But all I could think about was how much I HATED THEM."

Her fists tightened and she swung her head forward with maddening, desperate eyes, "And I just kept growing and growing, and their sickening gazes didn't STOP!"

"Even ADULTS have looked at me that way…!"

Lunalei had nothing to say because what the hell could she say that didn't come off as her trying to win a fight with no value for her.

She hung her head slightly with a blank expression, "I…"

"How…how the hell did this happen?" It felt like any other day. Now it is becoming one of the worst.

But try as she might, she couldn't pin the blame on herself for Zelene's frustrations.

"Why do you think me staying here would've changed ANYTHING?!" She raised her head with a scowl.

"I still would've been busy doing college work-"

"Busy. Busy. Busy!" Zelene repeated in a semi-mocking tone, "That's your go-to excuse anymore! And I've had enough!"

"I don't think you actually are all that busy, 'sis'," Zelene's hateful remarks came with a tearful expression, "You just…you just don't want to be a part of this family."

"T-That's ridiculous!" Lunalei scoffed.

"Is it?" Zelene scoffed back, "You avoid talking to any of us. You barely stick around at the table. You're holed up in your room for most of the night…!"

Zelene looked her dead in the eyes and wondered, "Do you even remember that Stella is still missing?!"

Lunalei's heart shook as her pupils shrank.

Zelene bit her lower lip and glanced off to the side, "I tried, I TRIED…to understand why you came back into our lives…until I caught that you weren't even sleeping in your own bed anymore…"

"...I-I looked up to you, sis. You were…my hero. But I guess…I just wasn't old enough yet to understand you."

Lunalei put a hand on her chest and slowly tried to catch her breath, mustering up enough energy to scowl and remark, "Y-You've spent these last few minutes thinking like you've got me ALL figured out…! But you want to know the truth?!"

Zelene refused to look at her, and Lunalei raised her voice, "EVERYTHING I've been doing, has been for YOUR damn peace of mind! So why don't you grow up, and quit acting like a crying bra-"

Zelene's hand came as fast as lightning and as loud as a thunderclap. Lunalei found herself thrown against the nearest desk, her cheek throbbing, her shoulder soon to be in pain.

Zelene huffed and puffed and held her head up high, her eyes trembling and her teeth grinding together in pure rage, "I-I…I don't care if you don't like us, sis…! I just wish you'd tell the truth for once in your damn life!"

She then marched out of the room and Lunalei, gasping for breath, forced herself up and tried to chase after her in anger, "Zelene!"

But then she found her chest clamping up and dropped onto her knees, feeling cold.

"Haaa…! Haaa…!"

This whole horrid, wretched encounter…finally forced her to remember the contents of her nightmare.

She could ignore it no longer…

One of her fears in life…was becoming a stranger to her whole family.

As she took deep breaths and tried to compose herself, she was forced to ask herself, "H-How did I…let this happen…? What…what the HELL's wrong with me?!"

Next Time: Bloodstained Attractions