content advisory - some violence, implied/mentioned sexual assault, mention of suicide (without tags it's harder to alert about content and idk exactly at what level to warn about. since they're in yavesh it's all around them, the threat of it all the time. let me know if i need to add additonal warnings)

Jason's heart leaped; the words resonated in his mind, tangled with connotations of explosive past events.

"Tunnel?" he said.

Rick tapped his damaged leg. "I don't know if you want to risk going inside. If they find out—you guys are more expendable than I am. You might not… survive. I don't want that on my conscience. But I also… I don't want to hold back anything, just because I'm afraid."

"Where is this tunnel?" said Serhii.

"I found it while cleaning the entertainment room. There is actually a secret door in the back."

Jason's heart sank. Somehow they'd have to get in when it wasn't being used by the Admins or guards… and face the horrors inside. But if it meant being free… it was undeniably worth it.

"We'll have to stake it out," said Serhii. "See if anyone goes in… or else just go in and take down anyone that's there."

"So—you are planning to escape."

"Yes. And you're coming with us."

"I don't know… maybe I should stay behind and cover for you."

"Nonsense!"

"I don't think I can go in there again."

"I wish you'd reconsider."

"When are you going?"

"When we find out how to neutralize the monitors."

"Mine didn't go off when I went in the tunnel. I went quite far down before they found me."

Serhii looked at Jason and Elliot. "This is our ticket!"

Jason looked at Rick. "This is the best possible news. You're a miracle worker, you know."

Rick blushed. "All in a day's work. My job to fix things."

Jason laughed. "I think you'd get along with another janitor I know. If you every want to come to Odyssey…"

"That's where you live?"

Jason nodded.

"I'd love that. Anywhere out there—everywhere. I can't wrap my mind around this. You'll be the miracle workers if you can pull this off. If… I can be free…"

Jason could hardly contain his excitement but didn't want to upstage Kara and Karim's wedding. If they could get everything together, they'd go tomorrow.

Both the main problems neutralized at once!

He realized that Rick hadn't gone all the way through, though. "Did you find an exit?"

Rick shook his head. "I don't know if it goes all the way out or not. But I could see a glow at the end of it… I could hear running water…."

"I am jumping the gun a little," said Serhii. "But it's the best lead we've had so far. We'll have to test it first."

"We can go down it… try not to alert anyone," said Jason. "Then call for the others." He might have to take Zar there just in case—if they had only one chance, he'd have to use Zar to open doors and as a hostage. If it was a dead end, he'd have to make sure he gave nothing away and contact Zar again another time—a prospect he didn't relish in the least.

Zakhar opened the Tupperware containers to reveal little chocolate mug cakes decorated with flowers.

"How did you do that!" said Sahara.

"I learned to microwave bake. It hurt my heart a little…."

"They're beautiful!" said Kara. Karim slid closer to her, and they fed each other pieces of cake. When Kara reached the center of her cake, she cried, "Oh!" Inside were pieces of melted chocolate. It got messier after that, but the newlyweds didn't seem to mind.

Mira and Pedro sat on the bed and poured cake crumbs into each other's mouths, laughing as chocolate drizzled onto their chins. Some chocolate dripped onto the covers, but Jason wasn't about to reprimand them.

In a few minutes, the alarm rang. Everyone had to rush out into the hall before the door closed. Jason hoped the guards wouldn't notice how in disarray everyone was….

Gray stayed inside. He looked at Jason, eyes narrowed a little, then looked at the blank screen on the divider.

"I suppose you're wondering what we were talking about," said Jason.

Gray shrugged. "None of my business."

"Maybe it is. Would you like to—"

Gray held up a hand. "Let me stop you right there. I don't want to know."

"What if—"

"You know I can't be trusted. Even if I joined your little clique – I would be easily broken the second they….." He shook his head, his eyes haunted.

"Well—maybe you don't have to be part of us. You can still be a sort of liaison…. Without knowing anything at all. At the end—a reward. It'd be strictly need-to-know."

"The reward would be what?"

"What you want the most."

Hope bolted through his eyes. "For that I would risk everything… But still I can't guarantee what I'd do. My spirit is willing, but my flesh is weak."

"That's from the Bible, you know."

"I know."

"I forget you do have a Christian upbringing…."

"Not surprising you forget."

"You could….come back to it."

"That isn't even on my radar."

"Maybe it should be."

"I…. don't know," said Gray, looking at the floor. "I can't make sense of things… can barely think straight."

"I… have my own doubts about whether I can… whether I'd be able to stand up to them if I had to."

"Because of what Zar did to you."

Jason's heart jolted. He nodded.

"It's true that is what breaks a person most reliably… I wasn't even as good of an interrogator as I thought, because I didn't take advantage of that angle most of the time. Partly because for me, sex was as superfluous as religion. But if I ever become myself again… maybe I'll consider using it for information gathering."

Horror raced down Jason's veins. "You said you wouldn't… go to that point…"

"I also said I am not sure if I have any moral compass or if it's just remnants of Tasha's impression on me, and it'll fade eventually. All I know now is that I could not imagine doing it because it would remind me too much of… Outside, if I somehow became a better agent… if I could be free… I might use the tools I've learned here…"

Ice raced through Jason's heart. "Then you'd better not be free."

"Well—there's a slim chance of that. Even if I escape, I will probably be irrevocably changed. There's no way to know what form I'll take. If I have a newfound moral center or not… I couldn't guess. But I have strong inclination that from now on… I will not only see sex as superfluous—but abhorrent. Tasha was the exception, and I wasn't even thinking of anything further. Just how glorious the kiss was. I can't see anyone else getting that far without me… feeling like throwing up." He shivered, tears springing to his eyes.

"Gray…. I'm so sorry."

"At least you still have that… possibility. They haven't ripped it from you. Right?"

"I… hate that he's tainted something beautiful, but as soon as the one I love touches me … it'll erase it. Because he has absolutely no claim on me."

"Then I hope that you—somehow escape what everyone else seems to experience here."

Jason felt that odd sense of guilt… survivors guilt, he supposed. He wanted nothing more than to escape such degradations. But when the others went through it… he felt privileged, and not in a good way. Escaping would be the only way to get rid of that feeling—outside, no one would bother the others ever again. And they'd have no chance to get at Jason and tear his soul apart… if that were even possible.

"So…" said Jason. "Would you be willing to do a small task for us?"

Gray smiled. "I would feel more like an agent. And if there's the potential…reward involved…"

"It would just be to take a message to Nalika. You wouldn't know the contents."

"So next time the doors closed, I'd stay out."

"Yes."

"I'd be up for that."

"Really?"

"Better than just sitting around here… waiting for them to make me a slave."

"There haven't been any incidents so far."

"The Admins and guards seem to be leaving everyone alone lately for some reason."

"It might be because—" The possible reason struck him.

"Because what?"

"They're preparing for her… return."

The calm before the storm.

We have to escape.

Now.

But we still need a few pieces… Kara and Karim are going upstairs tonight….

What else?

I need to solidify my plan now that we know where we're going. If there's one tunnel, maybe there are branches off of it…. And if there is running water… that means there's an opening.

His heart leaped.

He sat down on the couch.

Still, there are a lot of obstacles…

My monitor might be off, but I have to be very careful not to let the cameras catch anything suspicious… all of us have to move as inconspicuously as possible.

I have to contact Zar.

Get him to take me to the Entertainment Room. On some pretext. Somehow pretend I actually want to be near him… Even if I can pull it off, wouldn't he be suspicious after how violent he was? Who would want more of that?

Zar isn't the sharpest tool in the shed. And he's arrogant—thinks he's the biggest catch out there. He's like Elena in that way. They think they're irresistible.

It disgusted him to think about acting accommodating… but he wouldn't have to do it long. If Nalika had access to drugs, maybe they could drug Zar…. Enough he was awake but also compliant. Zyx would do that. If it were the right dose.

Then I'll force him through the tunnel… find out if there's anything on the other side… if there isn't, I'll have to have some explanation. Or maybe just leave him there…. good riddance. I don't want the Admins to get too suspicious until we're out of their reach. I might have to figure out something else… but if the water and light are the signals they seem to be, we won't have to worry. Just make sure we have everything coordinated.

Weapons in case things go south. Otherwise keep them concealed.

Do everything possible to escape.

Or die in the attempt.

Gray took a nap on the couch and Jason lay on his bed, going over possible scenarios. It evolved into images of Zar on his knees, Jason punching the daylights out of him.

That fed his hope.

The more I imagine that, the more my mind will be prepared. The more chance I won't freeze.

After all, he cannot win against me in a fair fight.

Fueled by this vision, he headed out to supper with Gray, who sat in the one empty chair beside Jason at the end of the table.

The food was some kind of mystery meat with gravy and biscuits. The biscuits weren't that bad, but the gravy was extra thin. Worse, it was mixing with the 'tropical' fruit juice.

Zakhar leaned over on the other side of the table. "It's hard to go back to this…."

"There's more where the little treats came from. Jarl brings them down almost every day. Your concoction was marvelous."

"Thank you. I really wanted to give them something good…" He glanced at Kara beside him, who was toying with her food, not eating any of it. Instead of despondence, she had a dreamy look on her face, tinged with the spice of longing.

Being tortured hasn't ruined their love… even if they went through the worst, there's still hope. Not that I have to worry about that.

"I just wish I could've done more…" said Sahara, to Zakhar's left.

"Being there for her was enough," said Zakhar.

"Ohh I want to see them into their new life together…. I want us all to be together… even though we'll probably part… that's the only thing I'll miss."

"We'll stay in contact," said Jason. "We won't have these limitations—we'll have choices."

"I'll get to see my family…" Tears sprang to her eyes. "Sorry. I… it's bringing everything up I thought I'd buried long ago…"

"Nothing to be sorry about."

"I can't let on anything's different…. Can't jeopardize this." She looked at Jason. "I would like to visit your town."

"I'd love to show you around. And I'll fly south…"

"And I can show you all my childhood haunts…" She smiled. "Literally haunts. There are ghosts in grandpa's old shed. And the attic." She laughed.

"Can I do another dance?" said Alelu beside Jason.

"You can do anything you want," said Elliot. "Your dance today was amazing."

"I practiced so much! The other kids didn't always listen."

"But they fell in line today."

She nodded solemnly.

"It was hard," said Tim on the other side of Elliot. "But I did it!"

"Yours was amazing too."

"I'd rather play ball though. Too bad there you have to keep the balls in the recreation room."

"You want to take them in the Cathedral?"

He shrugged. "I like the Cathedral better."

"I loved your dance," said Jason.

"Thank you!" said Alelu. "I love to dance!" She flung her arms up in the air, joy on her face. She'd blossomed so beautifully. Soon she'd be able to heal in earnest, totally safe for the first time in her life.

"You could just dance freestyle," said Sahara.

"I like doing that. But I like to make patterns too."

Sahara smiled, nodded. "You are a natural dancer. I'm not so much… but I used to sing…."

"Really?" said Jason.

"I lost my voice in here. But soon…. I may try again." She smiled a little. "Actually… I was never a bridesmaid before. I did sing at a couple weddings."

"Maybe we can have another celebration out there," said Zakhar.

"Maybe another wedding." She looked at him meaningfully. He smiled sadly and looked down.

"If…my fiancée will still have me," said Elliot.

"Well—I figure—you're a decent person, so you're marrying a decent person. She'll wrap you in love—no questions asked."

Elliot nodded, uncertainty in his eyes. "I also want to ask if… she'll agree to foster Alelu with me."

"No problem there either. Alelu is a hundred percent loveable."

He looked at Alelu. "I… wasn't considering this before… but her father might still be out there." He whispered, even though he spoke in code. "I know I wouldn't want my child taken from me. Especially after….. He deserves everything good. And she deserves a father."

"Fostering her sounds like a good solution."

He smiled. "Serafina will be an amazing mom… we just have to get married first." His eyes lit up. Then shadows crowded them. "I… wish I could take my son. But he's not even here…. and I don't want him to be, because it'd mean Elena was back… and even if she were, I couldn't take him. He has about five more weeks yet. I… might never get to see him…."

"The goal is to get this place shut down," said Jason.

"But it could be dangerous. She might not… go quietly."

Jason thought of reassuring him, but he knew Elena probably wouldn't just surrender without a fight. "I'll pray that no matter what happens, he'll be safe—and you can see him soon."

"I almost feel like I shouldn't leave him… but then I think of Alelu… she needs me."

"We all need you. We're not leaving you with her." The Es on Jason's clothes burned his skin, now more than ever.

In the Cathedral, Jason gathered with the others and sat on the edge of the fountain, Gray leaning against it beside him. some guards marched passed and he shrank in on himself, looking like he wanted to fade into the floor.

Alelu swirled over and looked at Jason, then Gray. "Is he okay?" she asked Jason.

"He's just had a rough time."

"Oh." She stepped toward Gray. Tentatively held out her hand. "Do you want to dance?"

Gray looked startled. He looked down at her as if she were an alien just beamed down from outer space.

"I don't dance."

"Oh." She looked down. "I won't bother you anymore."

Gray tilted away from the fountain, startling Alelu. He stopped short. Then he crouched down. "I'm sorry."

She backed away, blue eyes gleaming with uncertainty.

"I won't hurt you." He held out his hand. "Maybe… I do want to dance?"

Her eyes lit up. "Okay!" A smile burst across her face. She grasped his hand.

And to Jason's immense surprise, she led him out onto the floor.

And they danced.

It was awkward at first… Gray was being extra careful and so he barely moved. Alelu's rhythm jarred with his. But after a few moments, he caught on. They swirled across the floor; he let her take the lead, his movements smooth and elegant.

It was a quick dance, all only to music in their heads. Gray ask her permission, then he swung her into the air and she laughed.

It's almost as if we're halfway out already… the fabric of the universe is already lightening, unwinding, the darkness unweaving from it….

Alelu stopped abruptly and Gray stumbled so he wouldn't step on her. He swept his hair back, his face in a stunned exhilaration.

Alelu tilted. "I'm tired," she said, and began sinking to the floor—Gray knelt and grabbed her just in time.

He carried her over to the fountain. Sahara took her from his arms and set Alelu onto it and Elliot kept his hand behind her back, keeping her from falling in. Her cheeks were flushed, her bright curls in total disarray, but she glowed with happiness. "That was fun!" she said exhaustedly, falling backwards. Elliot caught her with a laugh.

"Alelu trusts you," said Elliot. "She doesn't trust just anybody. And I trust her intuition." He glanced at Sahara, who nodded.

Gray looked shocked at this. But he gave them a tentative smile.

Back in their room, Gray said, "I'll take the couch."

"I don't mind."

"You need your sleep." He settled down into it, lying back. "I… suppose I am, you know."

"What-?"

"Throwing my lot in with you." He smiled at Jason, though his eyes held a quiver of fear. Then he closed his eyes. Jason gave him some sleeping pills and not long later he was breathing evenly.

That was more than Jason could say for himself.

Escape hovered in his mind, emblazoned across it in letters of fire.

Almost overriding the fear.

Almost.

It was too momentous not to fear for its success.

Sighing, he grasped the neck of the wine bottle in the fridge and drank the rest of it, bracing for a possible hangover.

Soon dreams consumed him.

Still, his sleep was fitful and light; large swathes of it could hardly be called "sleep". But at least he didn't have a hangover when he woke up… just a small headache.

Maybe my tolerance for alcohol is rising, he thought matter-of-factly, without the alarm he thought he should feel. He had bigger things to deal with.

After breakfast they had their final book club meeting in the library. Jason mentioned that Gray would stay out next time the doors closed and meet with Nalika. He'd deliver a coded message—that the escape was imminent and to stand by—and ask if she had anything for them. Last night, Kara and Karim had had their honeymoon, and they'd gathered a few things from Ali's room that could be used as weapons.

Now Jason needed to figure out if Zar was back and lure him to the Entertainment Room. Then secret tunnel, Rick had explained, was behind a shelf in the back. All you had to do was press a lever at its base, and it would slide sideways. He suspected it might be one of the major entrances. The guards seemed to come out of nowhere and disappear the same way. There were probably other entrances they didn't know about. Rick had never tried to find them because he was afraid of more repercussions; he'd actively tried not to touch anything that might be a secret lever.

"We'll try to do this as covertly as possible," said Serhii. "But we'll also have to be ready to defend ourselves. Do you think you can do that?" He looked at Jason, Sahara, and Elliot.

"Anything to get out of here," said Sahara.

"Training has really helped," said Elliot. "I feel so much more like myself. I think I could fight them now."

"You have to be sure."

Elliot's eyes flashed. "Alelu's life is at stake. I'm not letting her get taken again."

"How about you, Jason?"

"I've got the hardest job of all."

"That's true. You think you can crush Zar?"

Excitement burned through him. "I'm looking forward to it."

"It's true we're taking an incredible risk, but it's better than sitting around waiting for them to hurt us again."

"We will have to improvise."

"There are a lot of variables. But we've tried to minimize them."

"If we can keep our secrecy and I can crush Zar—we have a good chance of succeeding."

"We will be there for you, waiting to back you up."

When they emerged from the meeting, Gray was out in the Cathedral, wandering among the trees, fingers brushing the dewy flowers and leaves on the wall.

"Ready?" said Jason.

Gray nodded.

"You can do this."

"Doesn't sound too hard." Gray smiled. There was fear and yet determination in his eyes.

Jason paced his room, then focused his energy on more training; he didn't stop until the alarm for lunch sounded.

To his dismay, he didn't see Gray in the cafeteria. He tried to go out the door, but the guards blocked him. When he tried to push past them, they drew out their shockrods. Another guard came at him from behind and wrested him back to his table.

He would have struggled harder, but he didn't want to draw too much attention to himself.

As soon as the guards stepped aside, he went with Elliot and Sahara to find Gray. They checked the Cathedral; he wasn't there. Then the rec room, common room, library, theater.

The Entertainment Room loomed.

"Maybe we should check it out beforehand anyway," said Sahara. Dread filled her eyes.

"I'll go. I need to know the layout before I contact Zar. You don't need to go in until it's time to leave."

"Are you sure?"

Jason nodded. "You already know the layout. You don't need any more exposure to it than you have to."

"I'll see if he's in your room and doublecheck any of the others."

"Thank you."

"I'll stay with you," said Elliot. "I… haven't seen this room before either."

Jason opened the door.

It was like plunging into hell.

Torture instruments hung from the walls. The walls and floor glowed red, cut through with the diabolical shapes of black and silver. Spikes, whips, chains… beyond them he could see movement.

A bloodcurdling scream cut the air.

The snap of a slap and a cry.

He ran toward the sound, his heart throbbing as if bleeding from multiple wounds. Every inch of his body felt like running away—and yet he couldn't because someone needed help.

Beyond a kind of glass barrier was a slab tilted at an angle. Nalika was bound to it, half-dressed, her eyes terrified, her face damp with sweat, dark hair plastered to her forehead and shoulders.

Rave stood beside her, a hexagonal device in his hand. He smirked when Jason appeared.

"Eager to join me?"

Jason's voice was trapped in his throat. Nalika looked at him wildly, shock and pleading in her eyes.

He dragged fragments of strength, enough to speak at least. "Let her go."

"If you're not going to join me, I'll have to ask you to leave." He laid his hand possessively on Nalika's ankle.

"You're hurting her."

"So? It's my prerogative."

"She's pregnant. I thought you weren't supposed to—"

Rave slid his hand through his slick black hair. "I'm the harem Admin, so I know better than a slave what should and shouldn't be done. Usually we leave them alone, but this little dumpling was so irresistible, and since as Admin I can do what I want—I just had to take advantage of this." He caressed her calf. "One reason why I funneled into harem. Pregnant women have this particular glow—"

A fever of rage seized Jason, and he slammed his fist into Rave's face.

Rave fell back against the slab and Jason followed the punch with another, harder. Needing to crush the disgusting being who had hurt Nalika and Sahara. As Rave fell to the floor, Jason kicked him in the stomach and then kicked him again.

Rave cried out and tried to struggle away; Jason smashed his foot down onto his knee and he screamed.

Gratification flooded him. He kicked him in the side, flipping him onto his stomach. Rave tried to crawl away but Jason stomped on his ankle.

Another scream.

"Jason!" said Nalika.

"What! He deserves this!"

"I—think my water just broke!"

"Oh!"

He unbound the leather straps from Nalika's wrists and ankles. She trembled, drawing her arms close, cradling her stomach.

Jason reached for her and she took his hand shakily, and he helped her off of the horrific slab. Her legs gave way and he lifted her into his arms. She pressed against his chest, struggling; he set her back down, holding her arm as she leaned against the clear divider.

"Just—just give me a minute." Tears streamed down her cheeks.

Jason realized that Elliot had disappeared somewhere among the jungle of evil devices. He saw movement across the semblance of an aisle—dried drops of blood on the floor in a trail—

A shadow flashed near his feet—then a slash of lightning tore his mind—

The next thing he knew he was on the floor and Rave was looming over him, blood on his teeth, eyes wild with revenge. He shoved the shockrod into Jason's stomach

Everything disappeared into waves of agony—lightning lancing toward his heart, threatening to stop it—

Then it ended.

He lay gasping, remnants of shocks wrenching his stomach, seizing his ankle. It was hard to catch his breath. It felt as if his heart had shorted out and was struggling to restart. He shook uncontrollably but somehow he needed to get away—

And save Nalika and her baby—

Gray needed help too.

Footsteps shuffled closer and he tried to push himself up but his arms wouldn't obey—

"It's okay, Jason." Elliot crouched in front of him.

"W-what –"

"We tied Rave up. He can't get to us."

"Nalika?"

"We need to get her to Med."

"Gray?"

"Here," said Gray weakly, appearing like a vague shadow at the edge of Jason's vision.

"What happened?"

"He saved me," said Gray, approaching.

"A guard was—hurting him," said Elliot. "I couldn't let him."

"So you stopped it?" Jason struggled to his knees.

Elliot nodded.

"We have to get Nalika out of here—then we'll figure out what to do."

Nalika gasped, crying out a little. She was leaning against the slab she'd been bound to, desperation and pain in her eyes.

Elliot helped Jason to his feet; blood flowed from his lower lip. His cheek was bruised.

We do have a dilemma. But right now—we have more urgent things to do.

Elliot held out his hand and Nalika took it. Slowly she shuffled toward the door, gasping when a labor pain hit her.

Gray looked in shock. He stood, unmoving. Despite Jason's physical shocks, he had to pull himself together and get Gray out of here.

"Let's go."

Gray looked at him, startled. Then he nodded. "Can't stay here…" he said breathlessly.

Jason leaned his hand on Gray's shoulder; when he didn't resist, Jason slid his hand behind his back, supporting him, even though Jason felt as if he'd collapse at any second. But he forced himself to put one foot in front of the other.

Just a few more feet, he told himself as Elliot helped Nalika through the door.

Then—finally—the horror slid behind him and he was out in the normal bluish light of the hallway.

Elliot supported Nalika back toward the harem. She cried out, doubling over. He tried to keep her moving but she slid to the floor.

Elliot looked back at Jason. "I don't think she can go on any further."

"We'll have to call them." Dread hitting him, but knowing there was no other option, he slid the cell phone from his pocket and called Med while Gray staggered to the opposite wall and leaned against it.

"Hi!" said the artificially cheery voice of the receptionist. "Do you have an urgent medical need? Otherwise it's forbidden—"

"Nalika's in labor! Her water broke."

"Oh!" Her voice took on a tone of urgency. "I'll get a team down there right away."

They waited in the hallway for what seemed like hours. Elliot helped Nalika back against the wall, and she moaned in pain almost constantly, her hand pressed to her stomach. But she still managed to tell Elliot "thank you".

Jason stepped over to Gray. "Is there anything I can do?"

Gray shook his head. He looked mostly unscathed, except for a few bruises on his face. His clothes were slightly rumpled, and his hair was a little ruffled, but other than that, he didn't look like he'd fared too badly. Jason hoped he'd escaped any of the worst.

"What happened?" he asked gently.

"I—gave Nalika the message. She—was going to give me something to tell you, but Rave came up to her. I tried to keep him away but—as soon as he came toward me I couldn't—I fell apart. The guard with him saw this and—he… forced me to go with him. He wanted revenge. I… hurt him when I was in training Above with Lila. I tried to tell him I wasn't technically a slave but he didn't listen. I knew what kind of revenge he wanted—like with Vivian—only more direct—and I tried to get away but it was like I was trapped in my own body and I couldn't resist—he—" A shudder wracked him.

"You don't have to tell what he did."

"That's the thing." Gray's eyes flashed with anguish. "He said he had all the time in the world. So he didn't even do much yet. Just tied me up. And I was helpless and he was going to—" He hung his head. "I knew what would happen and I couldn't do anything so I just—lay there like a—dead fish. I almost didn't feel at first… I was numb and I welcomed that even though I couldn't struggle—He kept touching me, caressing me and I wondered what type of revenge that was. Not even any pain. It became more insistent then and I—wanted to scream but it was trapped in my throat and I—" Tears streamed down his cheeks. He leaned against Jason's shoulder and shook with silent sobs.

Without thinking—still a bit out of it—Jason stroked his hair as if he were a wounded child—but then Gray pulled away, fear and shame in his eyes. "Sorry."

"Nothing to be sorry about. You were supposed to be safe still. After all you've been through… no one can blame you."

He shook his head. "So pathetic… I deserve what was coming to me…"

Before Jason could protest his interpretation, a team wheeled a stretcher down the hallway and stopped beside Nalika, who was lying on the floor, groaning in pain.

"Ooh, you weren't kidding," said a nurse, and directed two guards to lift her onto the stretcher. "Don't worry," said the nurse, stroking Nalika's forehead, "You'll have your baby soon. She'll be beautiful!"

Nalika nodded, then cried out as another contraction hit her.

"Let's go." The nurse turned and they rolled Nalika swiftly down the hallway toward the harem.

Elliot leaned back against the wall. "I hope she'll be okay." He looked up at Jason. "After… what Rave did to her…"

"At least they seem like they'll care for her. While she's having the baby, anyway.

"Let's get you back to my room," said Jason to Gray.

Gray walked slowly, Jason beside him if he needed support. When they reached the Cathedral, Sahara ran toward them. "Are you alright?"

"Thanks to Jason and Elliot. Cam… didn't get very far."

Empathy spilled through her eyes. "Oh—good. Knowing what happens in there…" She glanced at the hallway where they'd come from.

"We found Nalika, too," said Jason. "It was Rave who took her."

Her mouth dropped open. "Rave.. hurting Nalika?"

"She went into labor. We…" He glanced back and forth, even though they were speaking in code. "Tied him up. He won't be hurting anyone for a while."

"So—this changes everything. They'll come for us."

"Not you. Just me and Elliot. Don't tell them anything."

"If we can't leave—we might have to wait—"

"I couldn't leave Nalika like that."

"No—you did the right thing. She's upstairs?"

"They took her to Med."

"We might have to lie low for a while… she won't be able to come with us right away."

"We also tied up a guard," said Elliot. "The one who was hurting Gray."

"They'll probably find them soon," said Jason. "We could go now. But that would mean leaving Nalika. And Gray is in no shape to go either. I…need to recover a bit myself."

"We'll figure out something," said Sahara.

"You might have to go without us." The shock of the possibility hit him. But it was their safety that mattered.

"I'm not leaving you."

"If they punish us—and you find an opportunity to escape before we recover—please promise me you'll take it."

Sahara nodded solemnly.

They reached Jason's room and Jason helped Gray onto his bed. Gray lay back, his eyes unfocused. He barely reacted when Jason spread the lavender blanket over him.

Elliot and Sahara stood in the doorway.

"I'll try to take the blame as much as I can," said Jason. "After all, I hit an Admin. You only hit a guard."

"Don't—" said Elliot.

"You were able to fight them off. I don't want to jeopardize the progress you've made."

"You'll have more chance of getting out—if they don't hurt you as much."

"Both of you should probably leave soon," said Sahara, backing out the door, since it was chiming. "Hide in the tunnel if they haven't found out about what you did yet. We'll join you if we can—"

The door slid shut.

Jason sank into the nearest chair. Sahara's probably right. I need to get out of here. Take Gray and Elliot.

We'll have to come back for the others… unless we just leave without Nalika…

We might have to leave Alelu. And Kara, Karim, Mira, Pedro, Zakhar…. It's true we should probably streamline the operation since they'll be more vigilant against any slave resistance.

If we were trying to be practical we shouldn't have asked anyone else anyway… At least they don't know much about the operation beyond that we're escaping and their small roles.

Serhii doesn't have deniability. He should come too if possible. Though he's been a little more erratic lately…

And Gray…. If he's not up to it… I might have to leave him.

No—I'm not leaving him.

What if he's a liability? Like he said—he'd tell them everything if forced. If we really want to take Yavesh down… I might have to make some hard decisions.

He lay back on the couch, his heart aching. Yet a sliver of excitement cut through it.

If they didn't miss Rave or the guard yet… there's a very slim chance that they don't find them before we go out for supper…

If they do—they'll punish me.

As soon as I can, I have to get away without arousing suspicion and go to the entertainment room. Go into the tunnel and call the others to meet me.

Trying to think beyond that, though, just resulted in a tangle of disjointed ideas and thoughts.

His stomach still burned and his heart still felt rather fluttery. It had been a powerful shock.

At least Rave won't be hurting anyone for a while.

His thoughts drifted to Nalika—she would be having the baby soon, if not already. It was a little girl, they'd said.

Rave could've injured Nalika, so she'd have problems having the baby. His heart ached at this possibility.

How can we leave her?

We will be back. At least, the agents will.

Gray stirred. Jason sat up, grasping the back of the couch. "Are you alright?"

Gray turned onto his side, his eyes a dull gray-blue, suffering written on his features. "I can't."

"Can't what?"

"You saw how I fell apart. He barely even did anything. I couldn't help Nalika."

"You tried. That's the important thing."

Gray shook his head. "Intent only matters in your rose-colored world. In the real world, the only thing that matters is what is done and what isn't done. What one is capable of, and what one isn't. I am just a shadow of my former self. It's not changing. I was kidding myself to think it could happen. Bringing me down here was a good thing—now they can filter out."

"Don't talk like that."

"I might be a harsh judge of others, but I don't shrink from it myself. I see what is true and what isn't. Perhaps now more than ever. I see myself as I am. Good only for grinding beneath more powerful boots…" His eyes sparked with an unsettling light.

Alarm wove through Jason's chest. He walked over to Gray, knelt before him. "You're so much more than that. You're so much more than the evil you did—and you're more than the evil that was done to you. You have so much potential—"

"Even if I did, it's gone now."

"If you were taken out of this environment—"

"Which won't happen."

"Gray—you could come with us."

"For what? Just more slavery. Of a better sort but…" He sighed. "There is only one way out of this. I stay here—jeopardize anything you're planning… and if it goes wrong, be cut into shreds— or—" With sudden burst of unnatural energy, he marched over to the cupboard, grabbed the pain pills. Launched them into his palm.

Jason was stunned for a moment.

Then he hurled himself across the room, grabbed Gray's arm. "Don't do this."

Gray struggled weakly. A few pills spilled onto the floor.

"Even out there, Jason—do you think I'll belong? Even in the best case scenario—I can never be close to what I was. I'll always be this damaged thing—no place in the world."

Jason grabbed for the pills—Gray jerked his clenched hand away. A few more pills scattered onto the linoleum. Jason's grip tightened around his wrist. Fear shone in Gray's eyes.

"If Elliot can get back his agent self, so can you. You saw what he did."

"He is stronger than me."

"He's gone through just as much trauma as you have. You're not the only one who suffers. That doesn't mean you give up."

Gray's body weakened. He lowered his arm. Let his hand rest loosely on the counter. "Jason—please. You don't know what it's like. I—I can't do this anymore. I can't just wait for them to come for me… and feel them again and again, cutting me apart from the inside….. every single second of the day it's…"

"If you will give yourself a chance to recover—"

"I can't do that here. I hate to say this, but your escape plan is just a futile dream. My presence would make it even less likely…. There is only one way to escape. Only one way to find peace." Intense longing and anguish burned in his eyes. He slammed the rest of the pills into his mouth.

Jason tackled him. They both fell to the floor. Jason reached in his mouth—scraped the pills out—only some of them—

Gray pushed Jason away weakly, his mouth closed—he swallowed.

The door slid open.

A familiar figure stepped inside.