Chapter Two: Gentle One
The day after Ash's discharge from the hospital, Eiji and Ash slept the entire day. As always, they shared a room, but they didn't share a bed. That's how it had been since Eiji had come to stay with the gang. Their room was simple, consisting of a twin bed for each of them with a small bedside table between the two beds. Ash had a computer desk against the wall with a fan beside it so that he could drown out the noise of the others in the apartment and sleep as late as Eiji would let him. And of course, there was a closet and a dresser for each of them. The highlight of the room, at least in Ash's eyes, was the large window at the end of the room. He loved to sit there and watch the movement of the city below them. When doing so, Eiji couldn't help but think Ash looked like a lion watching over his kingdom, just like the movie Ash had shown him.
On the following day, the afternoon sun shined brightly into the bedroom, eventually waking Eiji. Eiji opened his eyes to find Ash already up and out of bed. His eyes widened in shock. This was an absolute first. Eiji walked into the living room to see Ash sitting on the couch hunched over. The elbow of his good arm rested on his knee, and his chin rested in that same arm's hand.
Hearing Eiji enter the room, Ash complained "Man, as stupid as it sounds, I almost didn't make it to this couch. Those pain meds make my limbs feel like they're made out of lead! And this shirt!" he said tugging on the neckline in disgust. "It was a war just getting it on!"
"Ash, you're bleeding…" Eiji stated with an edge of worry in his voice.
The back of Ash's white shirt had several small, yet distinct, blood spots on it. Ash reached back with his left arm to touch his right shoulder. Sure enough, it came back with blood on it.
"Shit….I told you, putting on that shirt was nothing short of an Olympic event!" Ash shouted over his shoulder to Eiji.
"You should have asked me for help, Ash…" Eiji told him.
"You were still asleep" Ash retorted.
"You could have woken me!" Eiji said, raising his voice.
"Tsk!" Was the only response Ash gave.
With his left hand, Ash reached into his jean pocket and pulled out his knife. In one swift motion, Ash swiped the knife up the front of his shirt, slicing it in two so that it hung open like a cardigan. He was then able to pull it off him with ease. Eiji stood in shock with his mouth hanging wide open as if he were a cartoon character. Ash turned to face him with a sly grin.
"What? It was ruined anyway. There's no way I was gonna deal with the pain of getting it off just to change these bandages." Ash said pointing at his shoulder.
The amount of blood that had been previously shown on Ash's shirt was deceiving. It was the overflow. The gauze and bandage that covered it had been soaked through, which led to the overflow that had begun to stain the shirt.
"Uhhh. That's more blood than I expected…" Ash commented, looking down at his shoulder with contempt.
Ash sat, working furiously with his left hand trying to find the end of the bandage that wrapped around his chest and up and over his shoulder. Eiji strode across the room and sat on the coffee table in front of the couch on which Ash was sitting. He was now at eye level with Ash, their knees inches apart. Facing Ash, Eiji reached out and grabbed Ash's left arm. Ash stopped fiddling with the bandages and met Eiji's eyes.
"Yesssss?" Ash asked his voice heavy with sarcasm.
"Let me help you with that?" Eiji proposed.
"Yeah, alright…" Ash muttered. The slightest blush arose in his cheeks, showing his frustration and embarrassment.
"Good," Eiji said with a smile "'cuz the end of the bandage is in the back, and I'm not sure you would've ever found it. I had a vision of you slicing the whole thing off with that knife….which of course would be a totally unnecessary danger."
Ash sat there in frustrated silence as Eiji's delicate fingers found the end of the bandage and began to unravel it from his chest. Ash hated being injured. Not so much because of the pain, but rather because it left him feeling helpless and vulnerable. Ash took a deep breath in. The unconscious plan was to let out a heavy sigh….but as he breathed in, his chest expanded, causing his skin to make contact with Eiji's fingers. It was as if an electrical current had traveled through the contact point. His breath caught in his chest. Thinking he had somehow hurt Ash, Eiji pulled his hands away from him at once.
"Ash, I'm so sorry! Did I hurt you?" Eiji asked at once.
"...No...no sorry, it's nothing," Ash said, releasing his caught breath. "Sorry, it's just- it's nothing. Keep going." 'It's just that hands this gentle have never touched me before. I've never been cared for...not like this." Ash thought to himself, completing the thought he didn't dare share with Eiji.
Eiji didn't push the issue and continued unwrapping the bandages as Ash had asked. As he did this, Ash recalled other times he'd been injured in the past. He was the one who changed all his own bandages. On the rare occasion that someone helped him, it was always rushed and a little too rough. Eiji, on the other hand, worked slowly with precision and care. The electrical current rushed through him once more, pulling his thoughts back to the present, as Eiji placed his hand on Ash's right arm. He very carefully lifted it so he could begin to unwrap the bandages that covered Ash's shoulder.
Of course, he and Eiji had brushed hands before and even hugged, but for whatever reason this was different. Ash couldn't place his finger on it, but the difference was vulnerability. In this moment, Ash felt completely vulnerable. Given his traumatic history of abuse, vulnerability was a four-letter word to Ash. And yet, he didn't exactly hate this. In fact, it was kinda nice being cared for like this. It made him feel so...so human.
Suddenly the front door opened and Alex walked in.
"Oh, so you let Eiji change your bandages but not me?" Alex complained.
"Yeah, 'cuz Eiji actually knows how to be gentle! Not like you!" Ash shouted at him. "Eiji, you should see this guy," he teased, gesturing with his head towards Alex "he bandages wounds like he thinks he's bandaging a mummy or something. Way too tight!"
"Don't listen to him, Eiji, I make a great nurse!" Alex called as he disappeared into the kitchen.
Ash turned his head back to Eiji and said in a low voice "He's so full of shit. All those hands know how to do is shoot, stab, and apply pressure to an open wound."
"And what, that doesn't apply to you?" Alex argued reappearing from the kitchen, obviously overhearing Ash's remark despite his lowered tone.
"Of course it applies to me too! It applies to all of us who grew up in this mess." Ash answered
"Yeah… 'spose I can't argue with that." Alex said. "Good to know you're still self-aware, boss." He returned to the kitchen grabbing what he had come in for and then exited into the main room "Later!" Alex said, closing the door behind him.
"Annnd you're free!" Eiji said cheerfully after removing the final bandages and gauze. He then got up, taking the old wrapping with him into the bathroom. He returned with fresh gauze and bandages, as well as an antiseptic cream. Ash also noticed he returned smelling strongly of lavender.
"I can do that." Ash offered, reaching for the antiseptic cream. Eiji quickly pulled it out of his reach.
"Only if you're willing to get up and wash your hands first. We don't want this getting infected." Eiji replied
'Well, that explains the lavender.' Ash thought. "You win. Just be gentle, oniichan" Ash answered playfully.
"Of course." Eiji replied with a sweet smile creeping onto his face.
Eiji carefully cleaned and tended Ash's wound. Eiji noticed Ash close his eyes several times, but other than that, he gave no indication he was in pain. Though, Eiji was not so easily fooled. He knew that no matter how gentle he was, there was no way this didn't hurt. When he finished, Eiji returned what he'd taken from the bathroom and then disappeared into the bedroom. Ash leaned his head back on the couch and shut his eyes for a moment.
'What is he up to in there?' Ash wondered
"Ash" Eiji said, startling Ash who had not heard his friend return to the living room.
Ash opened his eyes and found Eiji standing before him holding two shirts. At first, anger welled up within him. He'd just gotten out of the last shirt which had caused him so much pain! But within seconds he realized these shirts were different.
"Which one?" Eiji asked, holding up a green flannel and a white button-up.
"That one." he said, pointing at the flannel "I swear for a second there, Eiji, I hated your guts. I thought you were gonna try to weasel me into another T-shirt." he said with a laugh.
"Come now, Ash, I don't have a deathwish!" Eiji joked.
Eiji held out the shirt and Ash quickly weaved his left arm through the sleeve with ease. Then, very slowly, he straightened out his right arm, wincing slightly in pain as he did so. Eiji slipped the other sleeve over his right arm and Ash slowly let out the breath he'd been holding. Eiji's next move caught Ash off guard. Eiji instinctively cuffed the sleeves and straightened the collar of the shirt. His fingers then moved to the buttons. Ash gently caught Eiji's fingers in his palm before he could begin buttoning the shirt.
"I'd actually prefer it open if you don't mind." Ash lied. Of course, he'd rather it be closed so that he didn't get cold, but he wasn't sure he was able to handle all the skin-on-skin contact that would result in Eiji buttoning his shirt for him.
Eiji gave him a sweet smile. "Just let me know if you get cold." he said.
'Eiji...what did I do to deserve someone as good as you?' Ash wondered.
It was a quiet night in the apartment. The other gang members were off doing God knows what. Kong and Bones stayed to keep watch over Eiji while Ash was still injured, but they were off in another room. Now it was just Ash and Eiji in the living room. They had just finished the dinner Eiji had made them.
"Ei-chan!" Ash shouted affectionately into the kitchen where Eiji was tidying up
"Hmm?" Eiji replied.
"Would you mind bringing me one of those oxys?" Ash asked. "I haven't had one since I woke up and I'm starting to really feel it."
Eiji appeared holding two halves of a pill and a glass of water. "I didn't realize they sent you home with these." Eiji stated innocently
"They didn't." Ash said. "Now don't look at me like that, Eiji! Honestly! I'm a gangster. It would be more surprising if I didn't have pain meds lying around."
Eiji handed him the pills and water.
"Hold up, I said one." Ash said handing one of the halved pills back to Eiji. He then chugged the whole glass of water as he swallowed the half pill. "These things are addictive, after all. I'm no stranger to injury, so I have to be careful. I take regular over-the-counter meds as often as I can, but sometimes these babies are the only thing that will curb the pain. Ya know it's bad if I have to take the whole pill." He looked more seriously now, pausing to look down at his empty glass. "My life is hard enough already...I have no intention of adding a drug addiction to the list." He said solemnly. Eiji remained quiet, letting Ash speak. "Ya know, all the vice in my life….I didn't choose any of it. Most were forced upon me, and the things I did freely...I only did to survive. He said gravely, still looking down into his glass, swirling a few remaining droplets around the bottom of the glass. Eiji reached out his hand and placed it lovingly on Ash's left arm.
"Believe me, Ash, I know.." Eiji said with great compassion in his eyes.
"I often joke that I am literally the 'thug life' meme." Ash said in a much happier tone, trying to lighten the mood.
Eiji's brow furrowed in confusion. Seeing his confusion, Ash sat up straighter and leaned towards him.
"You know, Eiji, the 'thug life' meme! The one that's like 'I didn't choose the thug life, the thug life chose me.'" Ash said loudly. He was hardly able to believe Eiji had never seen such a classic meme!
Eiji chuckled as Ash stared him down in disbelief. "I'm sorry, we have different memes in Japan, I've never seen it...but it sounds really fitting." he said, still chuckling.
"Gah!" he exclaimed. "Alright, that's it!" Ash pulled out his phone. "Allow me to educate you on the finest American memes." he said in the stupidest proper voice he could muster.
"And then I'll show you some Japanese classics?" Eiji teased, knowing full well Ash couldn't read Japanese.
"Uh-huh, sure. If you wanna read them and explain them all to me, be my guest." Ash scooted closer to Eiji on the couch, holding his phone between them with his left hand. He started by showing him some 'American classics,' as he referred to them, and then moved on to some of his personal favorites that he had saved over the years. While many of them were lost on Eiji, Ash was surprised at how many he found funny. Suddenly Ash stopped scrolling. The pain medicine he took about an hour ago had started kicking in, sending a wave of drowsiness over him.
"Gah, sorry, these pain pills knock me out" Ash explained shaking his head and rubbing the eyes he could barely keep open. Ash dropped his head to fall on Eiji's shoulder, sending shockwaves through Eiji. "Not enough padding here, Ei-chan" Ash teased. Supporting himself with his left arm, he readjusted so that his body sprawled out on two cushions of the couch and his head landed on Eiji's lap. "Much better." he said sleepily, closing his eyes.
A blush graced Eiji's cheeks as he smiled down at Ash. He gently began running his fingers through Ash's hair, suddenly very grateful for the sudden storm of drowsiness. Ash could feel Eiji's fingers in his hair, but couldn't make his eyes open. Ash cursed the drowsiness, desperately wishing he could see Eiji's face right now. But suddenly, he was out as the drug overpowered him.