Chapter Five: Helping The Helpless

Eiji was out of breath. Sweat plastered him and chilled in the air as he ran at top speed down an alleyway. The painful sound of gunshots rang in his ears. He jumped, clearing some boxes, weaved through garbage bins, and raced around a corner. A dead-end. Eiji skidded to a stop, crashing into a bucket filled with stagnant rainwater. His head whipped around as the water cascaded onto the pavement below him. He braced himself as he heard the urgent footsteps growing closer and closer.

Suddenly Eiji's eyes burst open, his heart beating fast. He rubbed his eyes.

'Just another stupid dream.'

He sat to check the time. 4:57 AM. He could hear the birds beginning to chirp as the day dawned. Just as he had heard in his dream, the sound of another cascade of water-filled Eiji's ears. But surely Eiji was awake now. It was then that he realized that Ash was not in his bed. When the sound came a third time Eiji finally recognized it. He got up at once, running to the bathroom. Sure enough, he found Ash propped over the toilet, barfing his guts out.

"Ash!" Eiji shouted, running to kneel beside him. "Are you sick?!"

Ash didn't look up, just shook his head in disagreement as he heaved again into the toilet. After a few moments, he reached out a shaky hand and flushed the toilet before collapsing onto the cool tile floor.

"That's what I get, I guess…" he began "for taking those pills without food."

For a moment Eiji stared at him confused. When the words finally registered, Eiji said with a mix of concern and aggravation "Ash! Did my alarm not wake me? There was a banana on the bedside table! Did you not see it?"

"I saw it, I just didn't eat it." He said simply.

"Ash! You know be-" Eiji stopped and raised a tired hand to his forehead. What happened had happened. There was no point in arguing about it now. "Come on...back to bed."

Eiji helped Ash back to the bedroom. Instead of walking to his bed, Ash plopped down on the floor, in front of the fan. Eiji stood there a moment, fully predicting what happened next. Within seconds, Ash began to shake involuntarily with the chills that often follow the fevered sweats of emesis. Eiji wrapped a blanket around him.

"Come on, you need to get back in bed."

Ash anchored himself to the front of Eiji's pajama shirt as he made his way off the floor and back to his bed. He did not release his grip, even as he laid back down, pulling Eiji down with him. The warmth of his body felt so nice, so safe, against Ash's shivering one. He could not bring himself to let go. He held him tight as he drifted to sleep.

Humidity crept in through the still-open window. As the sun rose, so did the temperature of the room. Sweat married the skin of Eiji's face to Ash's left shoulder, and his arms to Ash's waist. Ash had been awake for the past twenty-two minutes-yes, he was counting. He knew that at exactly 8 O'Clock, Eiji's alarm would sound, tearing them both out of dreamland. He now had just three precious minutes left, and he planned to cherish each one.

Ash had never been in love before and not too long ago he would have laughed at the idea. While he'd always felt a special bond with Eiji, these past few days intensified everything. As he lay there, it was now very clear; he'd officially fallen for him.

He glanced once more at the clock on his desk across the room. 7:59. He took the last minute to engrave the moment into his memory. The feel of their skin plastered together in the hot room, the feel of Eiji's hair upon his neck, the sound of his slow, steady breath, the smell of him. And then came the dreaded chime of Eiji's phone, right on schedule. Eiji's steady breathing was disrupted as he woke. The feel of his skin and hair left Ash as he sat up and shut off the horrible blaring alarm. However, it wasn't a total loss, as Eiji let out a big sleepy stretch.

'Pure Gold.' Ash thought with a smile.

"Morning…" he yawned as he reached for the pills on the bedside table.

Ash caught his arm. "I'm not taking any today unless I absolutely have to. I'm tired of sleeping the day away. Plus I'm tired of how shitty they make me feel. I'd rather be in pain." he complained.

"Mmmm 'K…" was the only answer Eiji gave as he sleepily laid back down on the bed, this time beside Ash, but not quite touching.

'Am I still dreaming?'

"Pain meds or not, you don't have the strength to do it alone!" Eiji shouted in retaliation.

"I'll be fine!"

"Until you slip and fall! The last thing you need is to fall and hit your head, or tear another stitch!"

"I'm not a clumsy two-year-old still learning to walk!" Ash argued.

"But you are a clumsy, injured gangster who barely has the strength to pee on his own! Don't think I haven't noticed how you're always a bit sweaty after using the bathroom."

"Maybe I'm sweaty because someone insisted on opening all the windows in the middle of JULY!"

"That was only last night! And besides, how was I supposed to kno-"

"KNOCK IT OFF!" Came Alex's booming voice from the living room. He had been sleeping peacefully right where he'd dozed off last night…that is until Eiji and Ash began arguing like an old married couple in the middle of the hallway.

"I'M TRYING TO SLEEP!" Alex shouted, waking Kong and Bones in the process.

Ash looked to the living room, then back at Eiji. A little quieter, he said, "Well, I still don't need help."

"Yes you do." Eiji said forcefully, yet in a lowered tone.

"No, I DON'T!" Ash said, shouting once more.

"SHUT UPPPPP!" called the three angry guys in the living room in unison.

Ash sat on the side of the tub, his feet on the cool tile floor, as it filled with warm water. He'd been forced to accept Eiji's help after Alex, Kong, and Bones took Eiji's side. He now sat there sulking in just his shorts, his bandages already removed.

"The shorts stay!" Ash had told Eiji. "I'm wearing white underwear which won't mix well with the water...so the shorts stay!" he had shouted.

"That's what that was all about!? You could have just told me from the start! You didn't need to pretend it was an issue of strength!" Eiji replied loudly. "You know I would have respected that, right?" he then asked him, this time returning his voice to its normal, gentle tone.

Eiji sat on the tub beside Ash as it continued to fill, his feet placed inside the tub. A heavy, awkward silence sat between them. Water began to threaten the edges of Eiji's already-rolled jeans.

"Honestly, Ash...I hope you know I never want you to feel uncomfortable around me." Eiji said, finally breaking the silence.

"I know...I just...you know" Ash began, staring at his own feet on the tile floor.

"I'd understand more if you'd explain." Eiji said, shaking his head slowly.

"It's just...it's easier to argue than to actually say what I actually mean...or how I feel."

Eiji nodded in agreement. This he could understand.

"And you don't, by the way" Ash began "make me feel uncomfortable, I mean." he finished, seeing Eiji's confusion.

"And yesterday...do you regret it?" Eiji asked slowly as he stared at the rising water. He wasn't sure he wanted to know the answer, but he had to ask.

"No." Ash said firmly. "I appreciated the help, really, I just hate the thought of being a burden."

"Needing help does not make you a burden." Eiji told him, meaningfully locking their eyes

Just then the water reached Eiji's upper calf, soaking the bottom of his rolled jeans. His attention shifted as he stood and stepped out of the tub.

"It appears I'm having problems with the opposite end today." Eiji said with a smile, referring, of course, to the sweater from yesterday.

Ash's eyes widened as he realized the meaning of those words. And they widened impossibly more as he watched as Eiji casually slipped out of his jeans and placed them neatly on the toilet, just as he had done with his sweater the day before. He sat back down on the tub, wearing only black boxer briefs and a pale grey t-shirt.

"Well, hell, at this point, you might as well get in yourself. Ya know, conserve water, save the planet and shit?" He suggested with a smirk.

"Now isn't that a bit hypocritical, 'Mr. I-can-bathe-alone?'" Eiji teased back.

"Can is different from want." Ash replied. His voice was still filled with teasing, but his smirk was replaced with a firm face as he locked eyes with Eiji.

Eiji blushed a deep red, his throat suddenly dry. Although clearly embarrassed, he couldn't tear his eyes away from Ash's. For a moment, Ash regretted his words, but the moment quickly ended as Eiji pulled off his t-shirt.

"I suppose saving the planet is a noble cause." Eiji joked.

Ash sat there breathless, taking in the sight before him. Ash then stood and pulled off his gym shorts in one swift motion, hardly even noticing-and certainly not caring about-the pain. He no longer cared about the water soaking his white underwear, he didn't care about feeling naked. He didn't care what the other guys would say if they found out. He didn't care about anything except the gorgeous man beside him. He loved and trusted Eiji, and he was happy to let the fact be known. He sat back down now. Both boys sat in their underwear, staring at the other in awe.

"Now we're even." Ash said. "You better get that." Ash said pointing at the faucet.

Eiji tore his eyes off Ash and hastily turned off the faucet before the water rose too high. When he faced Ash again he stammered "What about what you said...the white...and the water?"

"I'm over it." he said dryly. Proving it, he casually lowered himself into the water, Eiji followed suit, blushing the whole time.

Unable to look away, Eiji sat there, just staring at Ash for a good solid minute. There was something he was supposed to be doing, but what was it? His mind had gone blank. Prompting his memory, Ash threw a loofah at him and turned around. Eiji shook his head as his foggy brain cleared. "Bakadesu" Eiji muttered to himself.

"Huh?" Ash asked, still staring straight ahead.

"Sorry." Eiji replied, shaking his head once more before squirting body wash on the loofah and beginning to wash Ash's back.

"Sorry? I thought that was 'gomennasai?'"

"Huh? Oh yeah, you're right, that's 'sorry.'"

"Then what'd you say?"

"What?"

"You said something in Japanese, what was it?"

"Oh, nothing, just that I'm an idiot" Eiji replied reaching the end of his back.

"And why is that?" Ash said, turning around so he could do his front.

Eiji's face burned. He concentrated on the task at hand, trying to retain his composure as he answered painfully. "Staring at you like that. Stupid."

"Eh, I'm used to it." Ash said, clearly willing to brush it off.

"Exactly! All those creeps have always treated you like an object! Staring at you like that...I'm just as bad!" Eiji raised his voice.

"Those men see me as nothing more than a way to get off. Is that how you see me, Eiji?"

"Of course not! I-"

"Then don't compare yourself to those pigs. You're nothing like them." Ash told him firmly. He shifted back around so that his back faced Eiji again. Eiji couldn't see, but tears filled his eyes. "Now come on, this hair ain't gonna wash itself!" he said, his voice betraying his true feelings. He stared at the bubbles gathering on the water's surface as Eiji silently started on his hair. Before giving it another thought, Ash forced himself to say exactly what he was thinking.

"If it makes you feel any better, I wanted to stare too, ya know. You're gorgeous." Ash's face scrunched with awkward discomfort as the words left his mouth. There they were, out in the open. Too late to take it back. Eiji surprised him as he let out a genuine laugh.

"Gorgeous?! If you're trying to make me feel better, you should have chosen a more accurate word!" he said, continuing to laugh.

Ash whipped around violently, causing water to ripple over the edge of the tub as he did so.

"Hey! I didn't say that just to make you feel better! I meant that!" he almost sounded hurt. His tone of voice made it clear just how hard those words were to say in the first place. His jade eyes glared at Eiji. His cheeks were flushed and the shampoo in his hair began to trail down his neck. Ash whipped back around, causing another tidal wave.

Eiji started to wash out the shampoo. "Gorgeous, huh? No one's ever said that before…"

"Well I meant it." Ash muttered so quietly Eiji almost couldn't hear him. Eiji's gentle fingers ran through Ash's hair, along with the rest of the shampoo and conditioner, and then trailed down Ash's neck and shoulder. His palm came to rest on the middle of his back. "Thank you...Ash." he said almost as quietly.

For a long moment, they just sat there in silence, neither one moving a muscle. The moment ended as Eiji began washing his own hair. Ash remained facing the wall, his back now uncomfortably cold where Eiji's hand had been . Though his eyes were surveying the tile wall before him, his mind was elsewhere. The fragrant aroma of Eiji's rose-scented shampoo drifted through the steamy air, causing Ash to visualize how Eiji must look right then. His eyes focused on the steamy tile, hoping, with no luck, to catch the reflection of Eiji in one. He heard the water shut off and knew Eiji had finished. Ash continued to face the wall.

"I've upset you haven't I? Sorry. I did not try." Eiji said sadly, looking at Ash's turned form. "You cannot even look at me."

Ash's eyes widened in surprise. "Eiji, you're an idiot." He oriented himself towards Eiji, and this time, he forced himself to stay put. He looked Eiji in the eyes, "I'm not upset with you. In fact, it's quite the opposite. Eiji, I-" His confidence waned and his gaze travelled and came to rest on Eiji's arm. "I think I'm falling in love with you. No. Let me rephrase that...I've fallen in love with you, Eiji.

"Ash-"

Ash cut him off. If he didn't finish the thought now, he may not get the courage to say it again. "But, it's scary, 'cuz it's new to me...love, I mean...I don't have a clue what I'm doing. It seems to come so naturally to you, taking care of people, showing them you care. But for me..." a burst of adrenaline pulsed through his veins as he met Eiji's, now dilated, eyes. "Look, before you I hated any form of touch! Dino's to blame for that...But you're different...when you touch me, when you hold me, it's filled with love, not lust. You don't expect anything from me. But I don't know how to return the sentiment. I've looked death in the eyes hundreds of times, but this...when it comes to this, I'm afraid." His gaze fell back to the water as the last words entered the space they shared.

Eiji stared at Ash, pupils dilated, cheeks flushed. He cautiously took Ash's hand with his own. He simply held it as he spoke to him softly. "You act as if there's a problem, but there is not. You said so yourself, I don't expect anything of you. I love you, too, Ash, but that doesn't mean I expect you to give yourself to me. I'm happy to stay as we are, for as long as you need. Even if that's forever."

"Eiji….Eiji, I- I don't know what to say…" Ash said with tears in his eyes.

"Then don't say anything."

Ash fell into Eiji's arms as he cried. Even after the tears stopped, they stayed like this until the bathwater turned cold.

"He said he needs the same favor as yesterday." Eiji told Bones, oblivious to what exactly this favor was.

"No! No way! That was a one-time thing!" Bones said urgently.

"He said you'd say that."

"Oh he did, did he?" Bones said, his voice laced with sarcasm.

"And he said I had to convince you anyway."

"Is that righ-Hey!" Bones outstretched his arm, grabbing a lock of Eiji's still-wet hair. "So that's what took so long. Helpin' the boss out while you were in there, huh?" Bones said nastily, his hands making a vulgar motion. Eiji felt his whole being blush.

"No, it's not like that!"

"Sure looks that way."

Both the boys' heads shot toward the hall as they heard Ash's thundering footsteps. He was freshly bandaged, but still undressed. With his bad arm, he held a towel around his waist. He stopped an inch from Bones's face, towering over him menacingly.

"What the fuck are you trying to imply?" he asked wildly.

"N-n-n-othing, boss" Bones stuttered, taking a few steps back.

Ash used his free hand to pull Eiji close to his chest. His eyebrows shot up in shock as his body pressed against Ash. His face pressed against his chest, his hand landed just inches away from his own face.

"If I hear you've been spreading such nasty rumors about Eiji, I'll make you regret you were ever born." he threatened through an evil smirk.

"Of course! S-sorry, boss!" Bones shouted. His shoulders raised and his eyes shut tightly, half expecting Ash to punch him.

"Now, come do what I asked." Ash said through gritted teeth. He released Eiji, leaving him dumbstruck, and stormed back down the hall towards the bathroom. Bones hesitated for a moment and then followed after him.