Chapter Twenty-Four: Be My Baby?

"You're gonna fry out here," Eiji remarked as he examined Ash's supine form as he lounged with a book in the sun.

It was a deceivingly pleasant day in May. One of those that's just cool enough, and with just enough cloud cover, that causes one to mistakenly disregard the need for sunscreen. Currently, Ash was sprawled out on one of the Okumura's chaise lounges, wearing a black tank top and cut-off jean shorts. His bare feet were strikingly pale, even compared to the rest of him. Dark shades were the only protection he had from the harsh UV rays. The book he'd been reading now lay abandoned on his stomach. A fly danced between his now-empty plate and coke can.

"Ash?" Eiji tried again to get his attention.

"Ash?" He tried a third time. A smile crept onto his face as it dawned on him that Ash had fallen asleep.

Eiji set the tube of sunscreen on the table beside his chair. The fly that had been feasting on crumbs flew off with the sudden movement. He returned as soon as Eiji's hand left the table. Eiji squatted next to him and gave Ash's shoulder a gentle nudge. And then another. And still another. And finally, Ash stirred

"Hmmm?" He mumbled sleepily. His arm went instinctively to shield his eyes. The sun was bright overhead, despite his dark sunglasses.

"Hey," Eiji smiled. "Falling asleep in the sun is a great way to get burnt."

Ash groaned.

"I brought you some sunscreen."

"Mmm, thanks," he muttered sleepily.

Eiji stood, but Ash caught him lightly by the fabric of his shorts. "Stay with me?"

"Let me grab a soda?"

"Mmmm."

Eiji returned a few minutes later with an icy soda in one hand and a large glass of ice water in the other. He set the water down for Ash and joined him in the other chaise lounge.

"Don't want you getting dehydrated," Eiji said as Ash eyed the beverage discrepancy.

Ash nodded in appreciation, still too drowsy to respond with one of his typical quips.

With the snap of a plastic lid, Ash opened the sunscreen and began to rub it into his pale limbs. It was still too early to tell, but his skin certainly felt tighter. He was definitely burnt, the question was just how bad.

"So how'd it go?" Ash asked curiously.

"Pretty good, I talked with the photography department head. The program seems really nice," Eiji responded.

He'd spent the morning touring a local university.

"It's a four-year degree though, which seems like a long time, but I guess it's normal."

"I still think you could just start working. Your photos speak for themselves. Anyone in their right mind would hire you," Ash told him as he painted his limbs white.

"I just want to consider all my options...but I do think I'll apply to a few places in the meantime."

"Yeah, that's smart," Ash responded casually.

Ash held out his arm to examine it. "Do you think I look burnt?" He asked Eiji.

"Maybe a little pink," Eiji said with squinted eyes. "You won't know till later. That's always how it is."

"I thought you didn't burn."

"I don't really, but Miyuki does. When she was a kid, she'd stay out in the sun all day-Mom had to fight her to put it on. Then she'd come inside and boast she hadn't burned-but in a few hours, it was clear she had."

"Hmph," Ash laughed, "so she hasn't changed much, huh?"

"Mmm, not much."

Ash snapped the lid shut and set the sunscreen back on the table. He stretched out like a cat after a long nap in a sunny window, his arms reaching high above his head. A sleepy sound arose from his throat, a tell-tale sign of a good nap.

"I've been looking at listings online," Ash said following another sleepy yawn.

Eiji smiled at him as if he were the only thing in the entire universe that had ever mattered.

"What?" Ash asked upon seeing the face Eiji wasn't even aware he was making.

"Sorry," he blushed, "you're just so cute when you're sleepy."

Ash dipped his fingers in his water glass and flicked them at Eiji. "Yeah, yeah."

Eiji flinched slightly and chuckled as the cold water misted his skin.

"Sorry, what were you saying, I wasn't really listening."

"I said, I've been looking through some listings," Ash repeated.

"Houses or apartments?"

"Houses."

Ash hadn't even considered apartments. He'd stolen so much money he could buy any house he wanted. Cash.

"Anything good so far?"

"A few look promising. There's one I think we should tour. I'll show you the listing and you can decide if it's something you're interested in."

"Mmm 'kay," Eiji stated simply. "Does it have a nice yard?"

"Hard to tell, the pictures were taken over winter."

"Ah, I guess we'll have to see for ourselves." Eiji hesitated a moment before asking, "Is it in Izumo?"

"I'm only looking at places in Izumo," Ash responded instantly. "I meant what I said back in Tokyo-I want to stay near the family."

Eiji relaxed and simply nodded.

The boys chatted casually in the sun for hours, until the sun began to set. As the sky turned purple and pink, Aki stuck her head out the back door.

"There you are!" She proclaimed in Japanese, causing their heads to turn to see her. "Dinner is almost ready, why don't you come inside."

Their limbs were stiff from sitting as they made their way back inside, arms filled with sunscreen and empty dishes.

"Good thing the wedding isn't until next week," Miyuki said comically.

"Whyyyy?" Ash asked hesitantly.

"Because you're red as a lobster!" Miyuki laughed.

Ash groaned and examined his own arms. Inside it was obvious, he was burnt to a crisp.

"Forget to reapply?" She asked as she plucked the sunscreen bottle from Ash's hand and examined it.

"He actually fell asleep in the sun!" Eiji remarked with amusement.

Aki gasped from the kitchen. "Ashu!"

"I didn't mean to!" Ash defended himself. "Believe me, I didn't plan on frying like bacon!"

Aki simply laughed as she finished preparing the food.

"Is it painful?" Miyuki asked as she poked his arm.

"Ow! Yes, actually, it is!"

Miyuki laughed and began to set the table with dishes. "Live and let learn!" She chirped.

"Actually, you're mixing two sayings; live and let live and you live and you learn," Ash corrected as he pulled out a chair and sat.

"Ah, whatever."

Aki emerged from behind the counter carrying three serving bowls filled with food. She set them on the table and they all began serving themselves.

"Ooo! That is bad!" She said as she got a better look at Ash's skin.

"Yeah, I know! Stop rubbing it in!" Ash replied humorously.

"Show him where we keep the aloe, later," Aki told Eiji.

"Mmm, that will help," Eiji agreed.

"So, how was the university tour?" She asked Eiji.

Eiji recounted his visit in more detail than he'd given Ash. He told his mom about the program, the type of classwork and experiences that were required, as well as the cost and time frame.

"Kind of expensive," Aki remarked upon learning the tuition fees.

"There are some scholarships I can apply for. I don't know if I'll get them, but we'll see. And there are always loans. We'll see."

Miyuki studied Ash's expression. She knew exactly what he was thinking; he wouldn't let Eiji go a single cent into debt. He'd pay for his schooling without a second's hesitation. In his own words, he'd stolen too much money for one person to ever spend in a single lifetime.

But he kept his mouth shut, Aki didn't know that he'd stolen a humble 90 million from his abuser. By now she must have known he had some money saved up, but how could she possibly guess he had that much?

They continued talking as they ate, Miyuki shared a story from her school day that had the whole table laughing, even Ash who was having a hard time keeping up with her frantic Japanese.

After dinner, Ash felt like he was being pierced with a thousand needles as his skin met the hot shower water. He looked at his clothes in disdain as he gently patted his burnt skin dry. He opted for just his underwear. He wrapped his towel modestly around his waist and peeked out into the hall. The house was quiet, except for the distant sound of Miyuki and Aki watching TV in the living room. The coast was clear. He tossed his unused change of clothes into his room and then made his way upstairs to Eiji. He opened Eiji's door to find him sitting at his desk scrolling his phone. Eiji gasped as he walked in and blushed at the sight before him.

"Did I scare you?" Ash teased.

"I heard you coming up the stairs but I didn't expect you to be…"

"Naked?"

He wasn't, but Eiji didn't know that. To him, he was clothed only in a small, white towel. Ash dropped the towel just to be a shit. Eiji burst out laughing, partly in shock, as he realized Ash was wearing boxers.

"Ha, I got you good!" Ash laughed.

"You did!" Eiji replied between fits of laughter.

"So what are you actually doing walking around half-naked?" Eiji asked when his breath returned.

"I am too burnt for clothes!" Ash said dramatically.

"Oh! Here, let me get that aloe," Eiji said.

He disappeared down the hall and returned a few moments later with a bottle of aloe. He tossed it to Ash and then left again without a word.

'Where's he off to?' Ash thought, tilting his head in confusion.

No matter. He began applying the soothing ointment to the burnt skin on his arms, legs, and face. By the time Eiji returned, he was sticky and fragrant with the plant extract.

"Where'd you run off to?"

Eiji didn't answer in words, instead, he simply held up a handful of wet washcloths.

"Oh my God, you're a saint!" Ash said as his eyes locked onto the cold fabric.

"I make a good nurse," Eiji agreed with a smile. He stepped inside the room and closed the door behind him. "Now, lay down," he directed.

Ash did as he was told, his head finding a pillow at the bed's head. Eiji draped the cool washcloths across his burnt skin. He'd brought up five rags; two for his arms, two for his legs, and one for his forehead. It wouldn't be long till the rags turned warm from the heat that radiated off the burns.

"Better?"

"Mmmm, thanks," Ash hummed happily.

Eiji turned off the overhead light so just the soft light from the lamp remained. He then changed into his own pajamas and laid down beside Ash.

"You want a sheet? Or a blanket?" Eiji asked as he snuggled under the comforter.

"Not yet, I'd just get it all wet."

"Okay. Let me know when you want fresh water for those. I know they heat up quick."

Ash turned his head as he said, "Okay," which caused the cool rag to fall from his forehead.

"Hey," Eiji chuckled and set the washcloth back in place, "lay still, baby."

Ash's stomach warmed, as if it too were burnt, at the sound of the word baby.

"Second time you've called me that now," he observed.

"Is it okay?" Eiji asked, suddenly a bit self-conscious.

"Mmm, I like it," Ash smiled. "Just wondered what brought it about."

Eiji shrugged. "I dunno. Always wanted to say it...but I wasn't sure how you'd react. Thought you might tease me or get upset...but it just slipped out the other day and you didn't seem to mind."

Ash smiled, but it was a strangely sad smile. "Why would I mind?"

"I'm sure you've heard it before...from loads of creeps."

"But you're not a creep," Ash told him sincerely. "I hereby give you permission to call me baby whenever you want," Ash said in a goofy, authoritative voice.

"Whenever I want?" Eiji teased.

"Whenever," Ash confirmed.

"You might regret that one."

"Eh, you'll end up flustering yourself more than me."

Eiji chuckled. "Yeah, you're probably right."

"Just maybe not at the wedding next week," he added after another moment of thought.

"Hmm, yeah. Are you nervous, Ash? To meet everyone?" Eiji asked with concern.

"Yeah," he responded openly.

"It will all be fine. I won't introduce you to more people than is necessary."

"I'm gonna stick out like a sore thumb."

"Well, you are strikingly beautiful, so you will stand out," Eiji said teasingly, "but the man Suzume's marrying is actually American. She went to school abroad and that's how they met. Some of his family's flying in, so you won't be the only American there."

Ash let out a sigh of relief. "That's good to know." Ash used his hand to steady the cloth on his head as he turned his face towards Eiji. "Still, your family...what will they think?"

"Most of them are pretty traditional, but it doesn't matter what they think. We don't need their acceptance."

"I just don't want to come between you and your family."

"You won't. If they have a problem with you then that's their issue. I love you and so do Mom and Miyuki, that's all that really matters."

The corner of Ash's lip tugged in a small, sad half-smile. Eiji reached out a hand and touched the wet cloth on his forehead.

"Let me get fresh water, these are already hot," Eiji said as he sat and collected the rags from Ash's body.

He went to the bathroom to refresh the rags and placed them back on the areas of burnt skin. He leaned over Ash and placed a kiss into his hairline.

"Good night, Ash," he said softly.

"Good night, lovely."

Eiji turned out the light and got back into bed. He placed an extra blanket beside Ash.

"In case you get cold," he explained.

"Thanks, love," Ash murmured sappily.

A few minutes past midnight, Ash awoke in a wet pile of fallen washcloths. In a sleepy haze, he gathered them up and tossed them off the side of the mattress, barely opening his eyes as he did so. He rolled over to fall back asleep before his senses came to him. He sat up and looked at the pile of damp cloth slowly wetting Eiji's beautiful hardwood floor. Eiji was so good to him, how dare he have such disregard for his things. He collected the pile of damp fabric and took it down the hall to hang over the shower door to dry.

Upon his return, he noticed Eiji tossing and turning fitfully in his sleep. His face was red, adorned with eyebrows and lips twisted in distress. His nightmares occurred far less often now that they were both safe and sound in Japan, however, they still plagued him from time to time. Ash was a pretty heavy sleeper, so oftentimes, he was unaware of Eiji's dreams. But sometimes, Eiji would wake him or simply tell him about the dream later. And in rare moments such as this one, Ash would witness his distress firsthand.

Ash placed a calming hand on Eiji's cheek as he slept. "Shhh, it's just a dream. Shhhh," he cooed soothingly.

But Eiji didn't calm down and he didn't wake up either. In fact, judging by his breathing, the dream seemed to be getting worse and worse. Still, Ash tried his best to soothe him without actually waking him. However, when a small tear rolled down his cheek, wetting Ash's hand in the process, he decided to give the sleeping boy a gentle shake.

Eiji awoke with a sharp inhale. His terrified eyes instantly found Ash's concerned ones. He sat and wrapped his arms around Ash's neck. Ash just held him, looking slightly shocked and quite unsettled. Eiji was burning up in his arms. Shaky breaths came to and from his lungs irregularly.

"Just a dream, just a dream," Ash whispered as he slightly rocked the boy in his arms as one would a crying baby.

Eiji gripped him tighter and buried his face in Ash's sunburnt neck. "Too real," he managed to whisper.

By now, Ash knew all too well that he was the prime subject of most of Eiji's nightmares. In fact, he wasn't sure the boy was scared of anything else but losing Ash.

"What was it about?" Ash asked carefully.

Eiji shook his head, "I don't want to say." He began crying again and although his tears were silent, Ash could still feel them drip onto his skin and he could feel his body shaking just slightly.

"It's alright, I won't make you tell me," Ash whispered. However, he was secretly hoping Eiji would. It tore him up not knowing. "But it might help, ya know, to get it all out at once."

Eiji didn't say anything but then, after a few long minutes, he finally spoke. "It was horrible...by far the worst one yet," he said, tears interrupting his words.

Ash continued to rock him soothingly while he rubbed his back as Eiji recounted the dream.

"You'd been stabbed," Eiji began. A classic start, most Eiji's dreams began with Ash being stabbed, or shot, or fatally injured by other means. "And...and...you were bleeding out...fast," he choked out. "And one of Dino's men...had me...and I couldn't break free…and I couldn't speak...I tried but no words came out."

Dino's men, of course. All the worst dreams contained traces of Dino...only those dreams typically belonged to Ash, not Eiji.

"And he was there too," Eiji choked, referring of course to Dino. Eiji started crying harder as he attempted to speak the next sentence.

"Shhh, it's alright, it's alright. You don't have to tell me if it's too painful," Ash told him softly.

"No...no…" Eiji shook his head. He would tell him sooner or later, he always did. Ash was right, it was easier to get it all over with at once. "He was...he was…"

Ash had already guessed what Eiji was trying to say, but he desperately hoped he was wrong.

"Raping you," he said the words quickly, like the best way to pull off a bandaid-quickly and all at once.

Ash's stomach burned with guilt. He was the source of so much pain for his sweet, sweet boy.

"And you may have already been dead...it was unclear...but he was making me watch," the last word emerged from his throat in a burning, tearful whisper.

Ash held him tighter, as hatred for Dino dilated his blood vessels.

"He'd've been the last thing you ever felt...I wanted to kill him...I wanted to kill him so bad." Eiji snarled.

"I know, I know, Eiji," Ash told him. He longed to kill the already dead man as well. He always had and, now, he always would.

Suddenly, Eiji pulled away from Ash. He was now visibly shaking. His hands fiddled desperately with his shirt collar as he tried to breathe, one of his classic signs of a panic attack.

"Woah, woah, woah," Ash said, placing a steadying hand over Eiji's shaking ones. "Take a deep breath, you can breathe, I promise, it's just panic."

Eiji inhaled sharply and then let the breath out in a shaky exhale.

"Breathe with me, Eiji," Ash said, taking in visibly deep, slow breaths.

Eiji tried his best to follow along, but his breaths were far more irregular in depth and frequency than Ash's. But after a few minutes, it helped. His breathing slowed and his shaking mostly subsided.

"Hey," Ash said calmly, "let's get you some juice."

Eiji nodded. But as Ash stood, Eiji grabbed his hand fearfully as if to say 'please don't leave me.'

Ash smiled sadly and then scooped Eiji up so that his legs hung over Ash's arms and the rest of him was nestled safely against Ash's chest. Very carefully, Ash made his way down the stairs and to the kitchen. He stopped awkwardly in the doorway as he heard, and saw, Miyuki typing furiously at the kitchen table.

She caught his gaze with a puzzled look. They were certainly a sight to see. Ash was still clothed only in his black and charcoal grey plaid boxers. His typically pale skin was now decorated in the sun's bright red patterns and a few faded marks that Eiji made a habit of leaving upon old scars. In his arms, laid a shell of the normally happy man Ash loved so much. His eyes were closed tightly with tears still leaking out. Normally, Ash would have been embarrassed by his current barely-clothed state, but right now, all that mattered was Eiji.

Ash expected Miyuki to blush or squeal, but she didn't. She simply asked, "Is he sick, Ash?" because she knew something must be terribly wrong.

"Panic attack. He had a nightmare," Ash answered with a head shake.

Miyuki's face dropped and so did her heart. The last time she saw Eiji like this was when he first returned home from New York without Ash. He'd been inconsolable for at least 48 hours.

Ash walked past her, to enter the kitchen. She rose and followed him behind the counter that separated the kitchen from the dining area. Ash set Eiji down on the countertop as one would a small child. Reluctantly, Eiji let himself be released from Ash's arms. His eyes followed Ash as he watched him fetch a glass of orange juice. Miyuki stood beside her brother, eyes tracing his pained face with familial love and concern.

"Can I get you anything to eat, Eiji?" She asked. He hadn't realized she was there until she spoke to him directly.

Slowly, he shook his head no.

"Here," Ash said, handing him the juice. "Trust me, this will help with the shaking," Ash told him as he wrapped Eiji's hand around the glass.

Eiji nodded and sipped the juice. He held his free hand to Ash, who instinctively grabbed it. Miyuki hopped up on the countertop beside her brother. She wrapped a loving arm around his shoulders. For a moment, no one spoke. Words weren't needed to communicate their love and concern.

When Eiji was halfway through his juice, Ash asked Miyuki, "Why are you up so late?"

"I'm finishing up a paper," she said softly.

"Sorry to interrupt," Ash replied genuinely.

"Eh, it's fine. It's not due till the end of this week," she told him with a shrug.

"Sorry I caught you in your underwear," she said with an awkward smile.

Ash looked down at himself, he had momentarily forgotten that he was standing there half-naked. "Not much different than swim trunks," he remarked casually.

"Yeah, but…" she said, pointing to her own chest, referring to the love bites that were clearly visible on Ash.

"Oh," he said, looking at his skin, "whatever. It's fine."

Miyuki gave Eiji a tight squeeze and hopped down from the counter. "I need to finish my paper...but let me know if there's anything I can do," she told Ash and Eiji. She went back to her seat at the table and began typing furiously as if she had never been interrupted.

The film of disorientation had cleared from Eiji's eyes as he finished the last of his juice. Embarrassment crept under his skin as Ash took his empty glass and placed it in the sink.

"Ready to go back up?" Ash asked.

Eiji nodded and Ash scooped him off the counter and back into his arms. He thought about protesting, insisting he could walk on his own, but decided against it. There was something very comforting about being taken care of in this way.

"Night," Ash said with a nod to Miyuki as he passed.

She looked up from her laptop and smiled at the two boys. "Good night."

Soft footsteps were the only evidence of their departure. Back in Eiji's room, Ash set Eiji gently on the bed. They broke contact just long enough for Ash to lay beside him and pull a blanket over them both. Seconds later, Eiji was back in his arms, muttering his love for Ash into his sunburnt skin.