Chapter Forty-five: Scabs Will Bleed & Scars May Never Fade, But I'll Love Your Skin All The Same

Eiji started his photography job on Monday and by Wednesday Ash thought he might die of boredom. Miyuki was in school and Aki worked most days, meaning Ash was left to himself with only Buddy and his own thoughts to keep him company. Well, his own thoughts and those of Hemingway or whatever else he was reading. He spent the days reading, cooking, keeping up with housework, training Buddy, and various other odds and ends to occupy himself until Eiji returned to him each evening.

Together, they ate dinner each night. Thanks to Aki, Ash was a fairly decent cook these days, and thanks to his ample hours to learn, he was even getting good at plating. However, much to Eiji's dismay, he still refused to let natto anywhere near their dinner table. Eiji would joke and say Ash was becoming a housewife, a statement with which Ash could hardly argue. The two lost it one night when Eiji stumbled upon an anime about an ex-yakuza boss who retires to become a 'househusband.' They both decided they were practically required to watch it since the synopsis was Ash in a nutshell.

So they spent their nights eating together, watching TV, and walking Buddy around the neighborhood. Some nights would end with cups of hot tea in that glorious bathtub of theirs, and others would end with soft cries, confessions of love, and fountains of white.

And Eiji had stopped asking. For casual hugs and kisses and even more intimate ones. And Ash loved it. It didn't mean Eiji was any less respectful of his wishes or boundaries, and it also didn't mean Ash couldn't still say no or call things off. He could, and sometimes he did, although that was becoming more and more of a rarity. But it made Ash feel much more normal and it helped the past trauma fade into the background like white noise. Panic and anxiety still plagued him but, as he told Iku-san, it was waning.

And in the mornings, Ash would whine and complain as Eiji untangled himself from blankets and pale limbs and insisted that he needed to get ready for work. And despite the strong desire to stay in bed, he'd trudge down to the kitchen and sip coffee while Eiji ate breakfast. At least once a week, he'd try to convince Eiji to call in sick, but he was never successful.

Miyuki continued to tutor Ash on Saturdays. He was practically fluent by now, as far as speaking went, but still needed help in the reading and writing department. Then Eiji would join them for lunch and the three of them typically spent the remainder of the day together. Aki would cook for them each Saturday night and then they'd end the evening with either a movie or a game night. Once a month, sometimes twice, Akira would join in on their Saturday night fun instead of going to Shunichi's. They all showered her with affection and, naturally, Aki quickly filled the girl's need for a caring mother. And as long as Ash avoided her father and let Eiji do the talking, things went smoothly.

Sundays were still reserved for family breakfast. A few times Ash and Eiji brought Buddy with them on a Saturday night and the three would stay the night in Eiji's old room. Then when they woke they were already there for breakfast. Now putting in the time and effort, Shun would join them for Sunday breakfast as often as he could. He continued working in Tokyo while he searched for a job in Izumo and finished out his apartment lease.

By the time October rolled around, Ash had finished furnishing the office upstairs, taught Buddy all the basic tricks and then some, read the complete works of Hemingway and branched out into reading Fitzgerald, took up gardening, polished his cooking skills and dabbled in baking, and even finished the entirety of Secrets of Shinjuku.

Clocking in at forty pounds, most would say Buddy had long outgrown the puppy sling, and Ash's shoulder and neck had to agree. Eiji's fears came to fruition as Buddy was now practically attached to Ash at the hip. The fast-growing puppy adored him and didn't quite understand he was getting too heavy to be held all day. Eiji laughingly scolded Ash when he returned home one evening to discover Ash wearing a backpack made to hold heavier dogs more comfortably upon one's chest. Ash told Eiji that Buddy liked to be held, he couldn't just stop holding him. Eiji quickly reminded him exactly whose fault that was. But Ash didn't see it as a negative thing. He adored his 'Little Man' and would continue to hold him until he physically couldn't.

In November, they sent out save-the-dates for their upcoming April wedding. Beyond better judgment, Ash decided to send invitations to a select few in New York. He continued his work in therapy and moved closer to giving Blanca a call.

Aki passed her driver's test and for the first time in her life, she didn't have to walk to work in the bitter cold. Eiji convinced Ash to buy a second car so Ash could have his back and not be stranded at home each day Eiji went to work. Tired of the stares the two-door BMW convertible attracted, Eiji opted for a much more reasonable car to get him to and from work; a year-old Honda Civic.

On particularly cold days, especially ones featuring snow, Ash drove Miyuki to and from school. Her classmate Rin would accompany them often on rides home since her house was so near Miyuki's. They knew each other from tennis, but they weren't exactly friends. In fact, she obviously annoyed Miyuki, but they happened to live minutes apart, so she rode home with them most days. Ash often let Miyuki come to his house after school, but never once extended the invitation to Rin because her obvious fascination with Ash made him uneasy. Although she knew he was taken, she made a habit of blatantly flirting with him in a joking sort of way. Ash laughed it off each and every time and both girls were convinced it didn't bother him in the slightest.

And then, one fateful day mid-December, Rin came to the car without Miyuki at her heels. She opened the front door and sat in the front seat instead of climbing in the back like she usually did.

[Where's Mi-chan?]

[She's with Jake,] she said casually. [She's going to his house. Told me to tell you.]

His brows furrowed at the new, non-Japanese name. [Who?]

[The British exchange student who just so happens to look a lot like you, Hollywood.]

[What are you trying to say?]

Rin pushed the button that controlled her seat warmer and cranked it up as high as it would go. [What I mean, is that Miyuki's obsessed with you.] She met his eyes. [But you already know that. But Miyuki can't have her brother's gorgeous American boy, so she'll settle for second best...a sandy blond boy with a British accent that makes his Japanese nearly indecipherable.]

Ash stared at her venomously. [That's just a coincidence. Miyuki's not in love with me.]

Rin's eyes went to the ends of her ponytail, twirling the hairs in her fingers as she spoke. [I didn't say she's in love with you, I said she's obsessed. It's different.] She gave him a once-over. [I mean, how could she not be.]

Ash scowled. [You're projecting. She's not attracted to me, you are.]

Rin shrugged, [Yeah, that's probably true,] she replied shamelessly. She turned towards Ash and tossed her dyed chestnut brown ponytail over her shoulder. [But isn't it still a bit odd that she doesn't correct the other girls when they assume you're her boyfriend?]

[You're lying. She doesn't think of me that way. We've discussed it many times.]

[If you've discussed it many times, you must have your doubts.]

[Tell me the truth or get out of my car,] he spat.

She pursed her lips and studied his face and then the snow on the ground outside. [Fine. That's a lie. I'm the one who's been telling people you're my boyfriend. Cuz, fuck, I wish you were. Happy?]

Ash closed his eyes and forced himself to breathe, forcing himself not to scream at her and push her out into the snow. [Is that the truth? Or are you just telling me what you think I want to hear?]

She raised an eyebrow and leaned over the center console. [What I think you want to hear, huh?] She let her eyes fall to his lips and wetted her own suggestively.

[Is that the truth or not?!] Ash shouted.

[Calm down, Hollywood, that's the truth.] She dropped a hand to his thigh and caressed it, [But if that's what you wanna hear, we could do something about it, ya know. Cuz maybe you've thought about me,] she smoothed her other hand up and under her skirt, [like I've thought about you.] The hand on his thigh tightened.

Ash pushed her shoulders hard before thinking better of it. "Don't fucking touch me!" He shouted. They were words he didn't think he'd ever have to say again.

Rin's English wasn't great, but she understood that and instantly knew she'd way overstepped a boundary.

[Sorry- I- was halfway joking- I-]

"Get out!" he said wildly.

She stared at him with confused guilt but made no move to exit the car.

"I SAID GET THE FUCK OUT!" He screamed.

Rin opened the door and practically jumped out. [I'm- sorry,] she stuttered. [It won't happen again. I-]

[Damn right. You're never stepping foot in this car again. Winter just became your favorite fucking season. Have fun walking.] He leaned over and pulled the passenger door shut. She pulled back just in time to not have her nose broken.

With shaking hands and a burning throat, he pulled away from the curb. Minutes later, he slammed his palm against the wheel as he parked in his driveway. "FUCK!" He shouted angrily. "Fuck," he repeated. He laid his head against the steering wheel and let angry tears fall from his eyes as he struggled to control his erratic breathing.

Several minutes later, his phone rang.

Miyuki.

"What?" He asked wildly as he answered the phone.

"Hey! Did you forget me, Ash?" She asked, obviously not noticing his tone.

He took a deep breath to compose himself. "Aren't you with Jake?"

"Who?" She asked with clear confusion.

Ash muttered a string of curses under his breath. Of course, it was all a lie, every bit of it.

On the other line, Miyuki's eyebrows furrowed. "Ash, are you alright? You sound funny. Shit. I haven't caught you at a bad time, have I?" She added under her breath, "I thought Eiji was working today."

"What? He is." the meaning of her words dawned on him and he added, "Oh. No, I just- I'm driving there now. I'll explain." He started the engine again and pulled out of the driveway, making his way back to the school he had just left.

"Oh. Okay, see you in a minute then. I'm by the main entrance."

A few minutes later, Ash pulled up and Miyuki hurried to the car. She noticed his red eyes the second she sat in the passenger seat. "Ash? What happened? Are you alright?"

He pulled away from the curb and began the drive home. "That Rin is no good, that's what."

Concern wrinkled her face. "What'd she do?" Miyuki asked anxiously.

"Said you were with some guy- Jake- British exchange student."

"Ohhh, that guy. I know of him, but I've never even talked to him."

Ash huffed. "Well, she implied you were dating him," he glanced at her from his periphery, "cuz he looks like me."

"He doesn't look a thing like you. Blondish. That's about it. And he's a jerk, you couldn't pay me to date him."

"Fuckin' figures." He shook his head and exhaled shakily. "She's a no-good liar, Mi, stay away from her."

"What else did she say?" Miyuki knew that couldn't be all of it, something like that wouldn't shake him so badly.

He angrily flipped his blinker and turned. "She tried to...come onto me."

"WHAT?!" Miyuki shouted, startling Ash and causing the car to swerve and slide in the snow. Ash regained control of the car as Miyuki continued to shout. "Oh, that BITCH! I'm gonna kill her!" Then she quieted as she noticed Ash's very irregular breathing and trembling arms. "Ash," she said solidly, "I think you should pull over." He did so instantly and threw the car into park.

"I can drive," she insisted. "Just breathe, okay?"

It was easier said than done, breathing seemed like an impossible task at the moment. Shakily, he stepped out of the car and switched seats with Miyuki. She drove to his house.

"What'd she do?" Miyuki gathered the courage to ask as she parked the car.

Ash shook his head violently and got out of the car, slamming the door behind him. Miyuki chased after him as he entered the house. Not bothering to remove his shoes, he trudged snow through the house as Buddy jumped excitedly at his heels. He locked himself in the bathroom.

"Ash?" She called gently from the other side of the locked door. "I'm gonna call Eiji, okay?"

"NO."

"No?"

"He's at work, don't call him."

"He's off in an hour, he could probably come home early," she offered.

"No, Miyuki, no," he pleaded. "Please, he can't know."

Her eyes widened in fear. "Ash, open the door."

There was no response.

"Ash, I'm gonna have to call him if you don't let me in."

The door immediately unlocked and opened a crack. She opened it the rest of the way and found him leaning against the wall, eyes closed, fingers feeling his pulse at his jugular, and struggling to breathe. Miyuki had no idea what to do, or how to comfort him. Her instinct was to hug him but, while that may work for others, she knew that was not the right approach for Ash. She thought way back to the time she'd seen him panic in the bathroom at the other house. She remembered him flinching away from Eiji's touch. She decided to sit with her back against the hallway wall, the same wall he was against, only on the other side. She couldn't see him, but the open door put her frantic mind at ease.

"I'm here. I know I'm not Eiji, but I care about you and don't want you to feel this way. And I'll stay until he gets here."

A wave of nausea shot through Ash. She heard the toilet lid fling open. "He can't know," Ash uttered before heaving into the toilet bowl.

"Why can't he know, Ash?" She asked after he'd finished heaving.

Ash could still feel Rin's hand on his leg. And he could still picture her hand on her own leg. The thought of what she implied churned his stomach again. He wanted nothing more than to hop in the shower and scrub his flesh away, but it didn't seem Miyuki would let him do that.

"Ash? Why can't he know?" She repeated.

The toilet flushed.

"It'll upset him so much. Everything's been so much better lately- I haven't panicked like this in months- please- he can't- can't know."

"Breathe, Ash, breathe."

She heard him trying to do just that, in heaving gasps.

"Can you tell me, Ash?" Against better judgment, she added, "I won't tell Eiji."

She waited patiently for a reply.

He inhaled sharply and Miyuki braced herself for whatever he was about to say.

"- Tou- touched me- my leg. And herself- her leg- said she-" another sharp inhale interrupted his sentence. He said the rest of the words quickly to get them over with, "Said she gets off to me. Fuck. FUCK!"

Miyuki's eyes glazed with tears as she heard his head thud against the wall.

"I know- I know that's not that bad- compared to other shit I've been through but-"

"You don't have to justify it, Ash."

"But I thought I was done with all that." She heard his body slide down the other side of the wall and onto the floor. "And it made me remember- Dino, of fucking course, it made me remember Dino."

She couldn't be sure, but she guessed he was crying, and that alone made her cry. Ash heard her sniffle and jolted upright. He scared her as he appeared without warning in the doorway. He ran his hands wildly through his hair.

"Enough. He can't come home to see us crying. He can't know."

"Ash, you have to tell him. He's gonna know something's up." Her eyes widened in shock as his appearance changed before her eyes. The panic left his face and his usual confidence returned to his posture.

"I'm a great actor," he said with a convincing wink that literally made her jaw drop. And then, just as fast as it came, the facade fell and the anxious boy was back.

Miyuki hopped to her feet. "Ash! What the fuck!?" She chased down the hall after him. "You can't do that! You have to tell him!"

He made his way to the living room, giving Shorter a nod as he passed the picture, and collapsed on the couch. He laid belly down, eyes closed, with his cheek pressed into the cushions. Buddy excitedly joined him, lying directly on top of his back. Miyuki moved to drag the dog off him but stopped when she realized the weight seemed to settle him.

"Ash." She kneeled before his prone form. "How can I help you?"

Without opening his eyes, he replied, "Don't tell Eiji."

"I already told you I won't. I think you should, but I won't make you or do it behind your back. What else?"

His eyes snapped open as she placed a hand on his shoulder. "Please. How can I help?"

"Answer me honestly…"

She held her breath in anticipation.

"Honestly, Miyuki."

She nodded in understanding.

"Do you...or have you...thought of me while getting off?"

"What?! NO! Of course not, Ash!" Her hand retreated from his shoulder.

His eyes closed again and his face settled somewhere between exhaustion and grief. "Good. Keep it that way." He sighed. "Rin apparently does and I hate the thought of that." A shiver ran through him. "I hate the thought of being lusted over without my knowledge. It makes me want to fucking vomit."

"I swear I never have and never ever will. I swear," she said sincerely.

The door creaked with Eiji's return. He was early. "Hey!" He called into the house as he removed his shoes, not yet looking up. "We had a meeting that finished early so they let us go."

Ash swallowed the bile that churned from his stomach. "I'm sick. Lie," he commanded Miyuki with a whisper.

"Ash?" Eiji called.

"He's- he's sick, Eiji. Ash is. He picked me up from school and then...he had to pull over and throw up on the side of the road. I drove the rest of the way."

Eiji rushed to his side. "Think you ate something bad?" He asked with concern.

Ash didn't open his eyes, just shrugged. He was worried Eiji would see through him if they made eye contact.

"Hmmm...We've been eating the same things…"

"Could be a migraine," Miyuki offered.

Inside, Ash cringed. Eiji actually got the occasional migraine, so he would know that any nausea and vomiting that accompanies a migraine typically comes as the migraine is ending.

"No, that doesn't sound right," Eiji replied, "vomiting is the last symptom usually, but you said he picked you up from school, so it can't be that."

Miyuki began to sweat, "Oh, well, it was just a guess. He hasn't really been able to tell me much."

"I went out for lunch," Ash lied, "probably just food poisoning." He said before Eiji could consider anything being seriously wrong. The last thing he wanted was to end up in the ER for suspected pancreatitis.

Eiji turned towards Miyuki. "You should probably go, just in case it's contagious."

Ash cheered inside. Score.

Eiji stood and fetched the bathroom trashcan and placed it beside the couch. "Think you'll be alright for a few minutes while I drive her home?"

"I'll be okay," he muttered in the most pathetic voice he could muster.

Eiji placed a hand against his forehead. "Huh, that's weird, you're not hot." He paused and then added, "Ash? Open your eyes? Look at me."

Ash did as Eiji asked and met his eyes. He'd lost, he knew instantly. Eiji didn't believe him, it was written all over his face. Still, Eiji leaned down and pressed a kiss to his hairline. "I'll be right back."

He drove Miyuki home and when he returned, he announced, "I know you're lying. You don't have to tell me what's really wrong," he entered the living room and softened his voice, "but you also don't need to pretend to be sick all night."

"What gave me away?" He asked, dropping the act. "Lack of fever?"

"No." Eiji sat on the floor beside the couch. "Your eyes. They look panicked, not sick. Can I see them again?"

Reluctantly, Ash stared into Eiji's eyes. "Something happened," he concluded. "You really had to pull over? Or did she lie for you?"

"That was true."

"Then something bad must have happened. Do you...want to tell me?"

"No."

"Later?"

"Probably not."

"Never?"

Ash shrugged.

"Flashback?"

Ash gave no response.

"Something new," Eiji said, definitively. He stood. "I'm sorry, but you're gonna have to tell me later."

Ash groaned and buried his face in the couch cushions.

"Later could be tonight, or tomorrow, or a week from now," Eiji clarified. "But whatever happened greatly upset you, and you're gonna have to tell me at some point. You can't keep things buried inside to fester just for my sake," he added, seeing right through him.

Four days passed before Ash was brave enough to broach the topic. For those four days, he acted. Eiji knew this and Ash knew Eiji knew this. Still, he pretended. He pretended to be his normal self. He wanted to trick himself into thinking he was okay as well. On the second night, he even tried to have sex with Eiji, just to prove how 'okay' he was. Eiji told him he saw through the act and refused his advances.

On the third morning, Eiji told Ash seriously, "I want you to tell me tonight, so you can stop torturing yourself. Ultimately, it's your choice. I won't make you, but I want you to." He didn't tell him that night. To be fair, he tried, but in the end, he couldn't get it out, and Eiji kept to his word, he didn't force him.

The fourth day was a Saturday. He canceled his session with Miyuki and they both bailed on their typical gathering at Aki's. Ash told Eiji over lunch. Eiji was angry and sad for Ash, but he held it in. He knew Ash dreaded telling him because he knew Eiji'd be upset, so he mercifully hid the worst of it. Ash apologized after the story was told, saying he knew it was probably the tamest thing he'd experienced, and that's when Eiji could no longer hold back tears. He told him time and time again he was allowed to be upset, even if he'd been through worse.

"Do you feel any better? Now that it's off your chest?" Eiji asked that night as they lay in bed.

"Yeah. I knew it would help...I just- I knew it would hurt you. And things were going so well for so long, so I- wanted to preserve that."

"Hey. You know I love you no matter what. I don't care if you go five years feeling perfect, you're always allowed to relapse."

"Thank you, Eiji," he said softly. The words meant the world to him, it couldn't be more clear.

"Eiji?" Ash asked after a lengthy pause.

"Hmm?" Ash could tell by the way he answered that Eiji had drifted to sleep.

"Sorry, I just wanted to ask if you set an alarm."

"Oh." Eiji sat and grabbed his phone to set an alarm. "You still wanna go?"

"Dad's gonna be there, right?"

"Yeah, he is. You sure you're up for it?"

"Yeah, we already missed dinner, I don't wanna miss Sunday breakfast too."

When they arrived for breakfast Aki was still finishing things up in the kitchen. After greeting Miyuki and his dad, Eiji went to help her. Shun followed after him.

"Hey," Miyuki bumped Ash with her shoulder. "Doing okay?" She asked. She hadn't seen him since the day of the incident.

"I told him," he said quietly so the whole house wouldn't hear. "So yeah."

She nodded. "Good." She nervously fiddled with the ends of her hair. "I told Rin to never come near me or you ever again." She dropped her hair and looked at Ash with fire in her eyes. "I told her I don't wanna be associated with her ugly ass-"

"Miyuki!?" Aki called from the kitchen.

She turned bright red when she realized just how loud she unintentionally got.

[What on Earth are you talking about?]

[Nothing, Mom! I'm talking to Ash,] she retorted in an 'it's none-of-your-business' kind of way.

[Well, breakfast is ready so come on over.]

Ash patted her shoulder. "Thanks."

She smiled up at him and then gave his arm a light, affectionate punch. "I'm glad you're alright."

Ash and Miyuki joined Shun at the table, who had begun to read the morning paper after Aki kicked him out of the kitchen due to lack of space.

[Hey, Dad,] Ash said as he sat in the seat beside him.

Shun looked up from his paper and smiled. [How've you been, Ash?]

[Not bad,] he lied with a convincing smile.

Aki and Eiji joined the table, arms full of serving plates. [Eat up!] Aki announced cheerfully.

They all served themselves and began to eat.

[I have some news,] Shun announced to the table, earning him all of their undivided attention.

[I accepted a position in Izumo. I start in two weeks,] he said humbly.

Miyuki squealed with joy and Eiji smiled a smile Ash had somehow never seen before.

Aki, however, looked befuddled. [I thought you said there were still

5 months left on your apartment lease?]

[I just decided to pay the fine to break it. It was two month's rent. No big deal.]

Aki's lower lip quivered as she bit back tears. [Oh,] was the only word she managed before tears fell. [So you'll- move back- here?] She choked out. She pointed down at the floor to indicate that she meant the house, rather than just Izumo in general.

Shun nodded, [If that's okay with you.]

Her frown morphed into a tearful smile and she nodded. [Yes,] she mouthed, but no sound accompanied it.

[I can] he pointed down the hall, [take the spare room,] he offered.

Aki choked out a hiccup of a laugh and wiped the tears from her eyes. [No,] she shook her head and wiped two fingers under her eyes to clean up any running mascara. [No, we can share,] she added with a tearful laugh.

Aki pushed away from the table and walked to Shun to hug him. [Oh, I'm so happy,] she said tearfully as she hugged him. He hugged her back tightly and said something to Aki that the rest of the table couldn't hear.

Aki excused herself and slipped away to the bathroom for a moment. When she returned the evidence of tears was absent. She sat back down and switched subjects, asking Eiji about work and telling Shun that Miyuki had begun the process of applying to universities.

Ash zoned out as Miyuki began talking about a new movie she'd gone to see with a friend the night before. Eiji was warning her not to spoil it because he wanted to see it as well. She promised she wouldn't, but Eiji didn't seem so assured. As the Okumuras made conversation, occasionally interrupting each other, Ash wondered how on Earth he'd ended up as a weekly guest to their family breakfast. No, not a guest, just part of the family. It was something he found himself thinking about a lot; how lucky he was to have them all in his life. Such a jovial family filled with so much love that it seemed to exude from their very pores and seep into the lives of others.

Ash's brain reminded him of Eiji's words from the previous night. 'I don't care if you go five years feeling perfect, you're always allowed to relapse,' he'd said. To Ash, those words were the epitome of unconditional love. Eiji had already loved him through hard times, and for several months now, they'd left that behind them. Up until a few days ago, things had been going very well. Loving him now was easy. But Eiji's words last night proved that he'd go through the rough waters again without a second thought. Eiji would love him through a relapse, and that was huge.

As he continued to dwell on this, he was vaguely aware that someone was calling his name. Aki, he realized after a moment more.

[Ashu?]

[Sorry, what?] His eyes, which had been glazed over in thought, snapped back into focus, and realized that the whole table was staring at him.

[Are you alright? You've hardly eaten?]

[Yeah.] He shook his head to rid himself of the lingering fog. [Yeah, sorry. I zoned out for a second there.]

[Well, eat up,] she said with a smile. [I don't want your food getting cold on you.]

Because she cared. She cared if he ate. Not to maintain his appearance like Dino had. She didn't care about simply 'keeping him alive.' She cared because she loved him. She wanted the food to taste good and not grow cold. She wanted him to enjoy the food for his own sake, because she loved him. She couldn't care less what he looked like.

A surge of nervousness rushed through him as he decided to speak the words on his mind. [Ya know, Mom, I greatly appreciate how good you are to me, and I don't think I say that nearly often enough.] He glanced around the table. [That goes for all of you.] He took a deep breath and pushed himself to keep talking. [Before I came here, I'd see families like yours in TV shows or movies and I'd scoff because I thought they were so unrealistic. I remember telling Alex- one of my guys- that people like that didn't exist. Families don't actually get along like that. They might tolerate one another but they don't love each other.]

As the words left his mouth, Nadia Wong and Giff came to mind. Sure, they were loving towards their brothers, but they were just two people, not a whole family. Logical or not, he didn't think that counted.

He looked down at his own hands and then back up at Aki. [Thanks for proving me wrong.]

There were tears in Aki's eyes again...and Miyuki's...and Eiji's...and even...even Shun's.

"Shit," he looked frantically at Eiji, "Shit, I didn't mean to-"

"Happy tears, Ashu, happy tears," Aki interrupted. She wiped her tears with a chuckle and comically said, [I should not have worn makeup today.] Then, more seriously, she added, [I thank the gods each and every day that Eiji found you.]

Tears burned in Ash's eyes. For the first time in months, he looked down at his wrist to peel back a bandaid that wasn't there. He turned to Eiji instead, "This is real, right?"

He nodded tearfully, "Yeah, Ash, it's real."

A tear rolled down his cheek as he looked back at Aki and replied, [So do I.]