Winter of the White Wolf

Chapter 47 - Oaths

Undulating patterns of warm, dappled light danced through the arms of the acacia trees towering protectively overhead. While there was still time yet until sunset, the sun had already begun to slip ever-closer to the approaching dusk, and it was as if the forest around them knew it, and welcomed the shifting winds.

It took Yama the better part of an hour to mend together the ghastly injury that split much of Barnes's foot in two. While she worked, Nomble offered what distractions she could in the form of sweeping tales of vikings and dragons which she hoped would draw attention away from field surgery taking place just to her right.

Nomble didn't think she was squeamish, not exactly, but she also knew she was not nearly as comfortable around what lay beneath the skin as some were. She'd been surprised to return from the realm of their ancestors to find Yama keen on pursuing such interests, but it was somehow fitting for her and her curiosity and attention to detail. Nomble was only glad she was the one who was responsible for threading the needle and stitching it though that raw, shorn very much living flesh, because Nomble was not sure her stomach could have handled such challenges in the best of circumstances.

While Nomble did what she could to keep her eyes attentive on Barnes rather than the bloodied injury to his foot, she knew the repair process would have been far better suited to a technologically advanced sterile lab environment, rather than the uncomfortable stitching process he willingly submitted to.

Barnes hardly moved while Yama worked. His entire body stayed planted firmly where it was and his breathing remained eerily steady throughout, regardless of the movements of the needle and thread through his flesh. The sight of such rigid obedience reminded Nomble of how HYDRA once worked on him without any anesthesia or numbing agents. Though no one had ordered him to remain so frightfully still now, some part of him must have recalled those horrible procedures. While Yama's treatments offered him some amount of pain relief, it was hard to watch how intensely he leaned into those trained behaviors that had kept him alive for so long.

His head remained locked in focused attention as he observed each part of Yama's process, which she relayed to him in-turn, asking for his continued consent as she went through step. Considering how violent and reactive Barnes had been only a short time earlier, Nomble had to give her friend credit for her ability to perform such a grueling procedure on someone who was more than capable of harming her with a simple flinch.

Even still, her fingers remained steady and she didn't even complain about the remarkable density of her patient's skin, even though Nomble was certain on more than one occasion she desired to remark upon the inconvenience.

Once Yama completed her last stitch, she cleaned the wound again before applying gauze and wrapping a further layer of compression bandages around it. Satisfied, she regarded her work appreciatively, "We should take a photo to show Sam and the others," she announced before turning to Barnes, "Would that be acceptable to you? He will be relieved that you have received treatment, and we can ask for him to send a photo back as well."

His eyes crinkled together as he considered the question in the wake of Yama's palpable enthusiasm for her idea, but eventually, he gave in, "I guess...?"

Yama grinned broadly in response, and though Barnes might not have seen the familiarity in his acquiesce of a response or her scheming smile, Nomble saw it clear as anything, and it brought a smile to her lips as well. She could remember more than just a handful of times where Yama's gentle prodding had led to adventures or hijinx of some sort, and not all of them involved animals.

After the three of them submitted their feet for the photo, it didn't take long for Ayo to ferry along a reply that included an image of Sam resting in what looked to be Shuri's lab. His face and teeth still had a ways to go, but the smile he offered was genuine enough.

"Do you know what this expression means?" Yama pressed, "The one Sam is making here in this photo?"

Barnes's glanced between her and the photo as he evaluated it before softly admitting, "No."

"It is not shameful to not know," Yama offered, her words light, helpful, and not at all condescending, "What was done to you here," she held a finger to a location behind one ear where a nail once penetrated his skull, "harmed your ability to parse such things. But you can learn them anew." She called his attention to the photograph of Sam that hovered in colorful vibranium nanites above her wrist, "See here? How the lips are turned up at the corners? That is a smile. Sometimes the teeth show, sometimes they do not. But it is the sides of the lips that show it is a smile. It is a good expression. One that means "happiness" or "contentment." It means Sam is feeling well and is not in distress."

Barnes chewed on her words as he considered them. After a time, he turned his attention back to Nomble, apparently intent on ensuring she did not leave the remainder of the story untold, "What happened to Toothless and Hiccup after the flight?"

Nomble dipped her head as she continued the story, and Yama returned to wrapping Barnes's foot in another protective layer of bandages. While Barnes remained vigilant over the hands touching his injury, his eyes glanced now and then to Nomble's own, as if he wished to acknowledge the words behind the story she spoke. Her version of the tale leaned more closely to the original film than the book series it was based on, but now and then, Nomble saw fit to blend the two. That being as it was, she felt it inappropriate to lean into certain themes, such as the idea that the great Nightfury and other dragons had been unwilling subjects of mind control that had been commanded to lay harm to others.

That… felt like it hit a little too close to home.

But as Yama worked, Barnes fell back into silence and listened, saying little. Initially, Nomble wondered if he was still following the story, but when he finally found his voice towards the tail-end of her telling, it was not a question she had ever considered, nor one she had an easy answer for.

"The boy named the dragon 'Toothless,'" Barnes observed, "but what was the dragon's name?"

Nomble cocked her head, not following, "Yes, Hiccup named the dragon 'Toothless,' because when they first met, the great dragon had his teeth retracted."

Barnes's expression didn't change much, but his forehead crinkled almost imperceivably, as if her response did not satisfy his inquiry, "But what did the dragon call himself, before then? And what did the dragon call the boy?"

Nomble looked to Yama, and she could see her sister Dora with a smug smile on her face at the strange questions she also had no easy answers for. It was almost as if she was saying, 'See? This is such a nerdy question our White Wolf might've asked. I know you sense it too.'

"They spoke different languages. The dragon and the boy." Teela offered from her perch a short distance away. She was apparently no stranger to the fantastical story Nomble sought to weave. Teela had a very particular patience about her, as if this whole experience with their Lost Wolf was layered in curiosities she sought to understand. All-the-while, she kept her spear in her grip, but positioned it upright so that it appeared more ornamental than threatening. Even still, Nomble knew she was ready to use it at a moment's notice if the need came to bear, "But they couldn't speak the languages of one another."

Barnes appeared to consider this claim, "So they each had two names? What the dragon called himself, and what he called the boy. And then what Hiccup called himself, and the name he chose for the dragon, 'Toothless,' because he couldn't ask the dragon for his own name?"

What a strange thread to pull on, but Nomble could not find fault in Barnes's reasoning, "It is a good question, but I do not know what names dragons call themselves or their kin."

She must have smiled then without realizing it, because Barnes regarded the edges of her mouth carefully, evaluating it against some unseen metric in his mind. Perhaps it was the photo they'd shown him of Sam when they'd explained that it was a smile, and meant he was happy.

The timing for it could not have been more perfect, because Nomble found it important to explain that initially Toothless did not understand these things either, and so it made for a great way to offer clarity without making light of Barnes's own confusion around such sensitive and loaded topics.

While Barnes remained uneasy having questions directed his way, Nomble felt it prudent to permit him to speak if it was what he wanted, "Why do you ask? About the names."

Barnes's eyes flicked to Nomble's own, but he quickly redirected his attention to the wrapping Yama was securing around his foot, as if he was cautious of reprimand, "Some names have meanings and translations in other languages. Others do not," he observed uncertainly.

He watched Yama's movements with those confused, guarded eyes of his and fell into silence, as if he was unsure he wanted to speak more. As if he was suddenly reminded he was among strangers he did not trust.

When Barnes offered nothing more, Teela spoke carefully, gesturing to Nomble, Yama, and then herself, "Our names were given to us by our families. They have roots in our native tongue of Wakandan. When we greet one-another, we use these names regardless of the language we speak."

Barnes's expression didn't change, but he chewed on her words, "What if the dragon didn't want the name the boy gave him?" Barnes considered aloud.

"Then the dragon needn't accept the name," Nomble stated plainly. She could see him struggling with the topics, but wasn't sure what concern he was getting at underneath. Was this about the dragon, or himself in some way? About the names that he once considered familiar, but he now riled at?

Or about the names HYDRA had cast upon him?

Prisoner.

Asset.

Soldier.

Nomble renewed her focus and pressed herself to explain the nuance between the languages of men and imaginary dragons, "The two groups strove for some sense of synergy between them since their voices were incapable of speaking in the same tongue, you see. Unlike you and I. We speak many." That last bit, stepping outside the safety of the story and its characters was a risky move, but Nomble felt it important to lean into it without pressing too much.

"But your name is Wakandan," Barnes observed.

"It is," Nomble agreed, "And your chosen name is in English."

"Is that why you tell the story in this language?"

"I suppose I did," Nomble admitted, once again offering him the power of choice, "Is there another language you would prefer me to tell it in? I do not mind."

His eyes glanced to Teela, Yama, and then back to Nomble uncertainly.

"It is not a test," Yama observed, "Nomble is skilled at many languages and thrills at the opportunity to use them with others who are fluent in such things. It is not a strength of mine."

"Nor mine," Teela agreed from a short distance away.

Barnes considered their remarks before turning his attention back to Nomble. In crisp, clear Wakandan, he responded to her inquiry, "Ndinqwenela ukukuva ngolwimi lwegama lakho." I wish to hear it in the language of your name.

The man before her couldn't know why the request fell comfortably at their feet, couldn't understand that his accent had a way of speaking to years of use and careful attention that, of all things, had a very particular nuance that was pulled from the formal pronunciation the Dora Milaje preferred.

Nomble knew this was not truly White Wolf before her, but for a moment, she was reminded part of her 'Isalamane Sentliziyo' was still there. While she wasn't sure what was at the root of all his questions, she would hear them. She spoke to him in Wakandan, falling into its familiar rhythms with ease, "Did you have more questions, or did you wish for me to tell you the remainder of the story?"

"The story," Barnes responded without hesitation. "Was Hiccup able to fix the prosthetic he fashioned for the dragon's tail? And what about the other dragons?"

Nomble smiled to herself as she shifted her weight and settled in to tell the climax of the tale. The man before her might not have recognized his own enthusiasm, but she saw it as clear as anything. The sight of it only had a way of renewing her own oath that she would do whatever she could to help him, even if he remained blissfully unaware that his continued insistence upon the particulars surrounding fantastical creatures was nothing new then or now.

The sun hovered low in the sky by the time the tale ran its course. In the wake of the story, Yama tidied up the contents of the medical case and offered instruction to Barnes while Nomble gathered firewood from the brush nearby and Teela maintained the guard she promised Ayo.

"You will need to stay off your foot awhile so it does not draw in infection," Yama instructed, "If you must use it to balance, try to use your heel or toes, but it is better if you avoid putting weight on it as much as possible until the fibers of your foot begin to mend. You heal quite fast, so it should only take a few days until we can remove the outer stitches. The ones inside will dissolve on their own."

Barnes didn't choose to say anything, but he regarded his bandaged foot carefully and testingly wiggled his toes.

"Would you like more pain relief for it?" Yama inquired from a few feet away.

He considered her words for longer than Nomble thought the question necessitated, "No," he stated plainly after a time.

"Well if you change your mind, you only need ask," Yama supplied. "I suspect we will be sleeping here tonight, and you are welcome to wake any of us if you need relief." She gestured to the Kimoyo Beads along her left wrist as explanation, "You do not have a medical bead as I do, nor the training for it." Satisfied, she added, "I am going to stand up so I can step out of the shield." When he didn't object, she did just that, rising to her feet and as he chose to do the same, much to her consternation.

"You should try to stay off that foot," Yama repeated, exasperated.

"Is that a command?"

She waved a dismissive hand in his direction, offering only, "So stubborn." in her wake.

His blue eyes kept watch over her as she brushed herself off and then grasped the medical case, carrying it with her as Teela kept watch while Yama stepped through the orange energy shield surrounding Barnes like a make-shift prison cell.

Nomble met Yama's eyes as she bent down to replace some of the armor she had shucked off as a way of impressing upon Barnes that she meant no harm. Nomble could tell by her friend's expression that she was proud of what miracles she had managed that merged the two halves of that awful injury into one whole foot, but that she remained uneasy that it could not be seen to by specialists yielding more advanced tools and techniques. She couldn't help but wonder what the coming days would foretell. Would Shuri visit them out here, and if she did, would Barnes allow her to work on his foot? Or might they be able to convince him to return to the lab or a more agreeable environment where his injury would be able to be healed more expediently, and with advanced precision?

Those were considerations for the future. Not the present they needed to step through together.

"You did an admirable job," Nomble offered as she offloaded the firewood in her arms into small piles on either side of the shield.

Yama inclined her head, stepping in to help with the firewood, "It was not a task I imagined myself ever needing to do, but I am relieved it is done." In her typical fashion, she added, "It is still better than if I had to talk you and Teela through this and other procedures had I found myself without my hands."

Nomble cringed at the morbid thought, and Yama bumped her shoulder lightly before she crouched to start the closest of the two fires, "See? Always a bright side."

Yama arranged the kindling in the center of the wood like a small nest before positioning the larger branches around it. While these activities were a standing part of their survival training, there was something calming about the simple act of gathering wood and cultivating a fire out in the rugged sprawl of Wakanda's wilds. Something primal. While they'd all been taught how to start a fire by hand if the situation necessitated it, Yama chose the efficient route and used one of her Kimoyo beads to provide the initial spark to bring the fire to life.

She blew on it, fanning her hands over it until the fire could sustain itself. Only then did she rise to her feet. "It has a pleasant scent," she observed, "Did you ever notice how the fires we burn here have their own fingerprint?"

Nomble considered her words, testing them against her own thoughts, "I think you are right. Perhaps it is the mountain sage we use for the kindling? It has a calming feel I have come to associate with this sacred place."

"It smells as if a botanicals shop caught on fire," Teela supplied from a short distance away before adding, "but I find myself fond of the aroma. If I were called to put out such a blaze, I might find myself momentarily conflicted about the righteousness of such an order."

Nomble grinned, but turned her attention to a blinking blue light along Yama's wrist that drew her friend's focus away from their casual conversation. Yama gestured her fingers over it as she read the text message awaiting her. Her expression grew cautious as she tilted her head to Nomble and succinctly noted, "She is on her way now."

Nomble's attention shifted to Barnes, still standing near the center of the shield just behind the line Yama had drawn to divide the two halves. She did not miss the tension and unease that returned to his posture as he silently looked to Yama for clarification on her statement.

Nomble wanted to think that they'd managed to carve out some amount of headway in the time since they'd landed and made camp atop an arm of Wakanda's Primitive Peaks, but the silent figure a few feet away from her was not wholly the man she recognized. And yet, at the same time: it was.

It was clear Yama sensed it too, that feeling of connection lying just under the water, but not yet breaking the surface. The more time they spent around him, the more she could see it, the flickers of guarded curiosity, his propensity for compassion, and the remarkable stubbornness he shared with Ayo. Part of her wondered if it was like glimpsing into a time capsule of sorts of what this man she knew so well was like years before they first met. If Sam's instincts were correct, perhaps his mind placed him only days or weeks since he'd finally escaped from HYDRA's cruel clutches.

The man before her didn't say anything as he ran the fingers of one hand through his short-cropped brown hair, as if he felt it prudent to reassure himself that the nails that had plagued him for so long were indeed no longer there. His expression was troubled as he glanced between them, and while it was perhaps fault to assume he held no desire to test the shield that surrounded him, some part of Nomble felt certain he would at least wait until he believed Sam was safe and fewer eyes were upon him.

That being as it was, Nomble was not so blind as to believe that his desire to escape had been mitigated with some stitches and two stories. Given the opportunity, he may not wish to harm them, but she was certain he would run. Though part of her wished to press the topic, to find a way to convince him that this basic instinct of his was misplaced, she knew it was likely to take time to make even marginal headway. But how long? This man, or someone like him had been on the run for nearly two years until he was captured, and during that time, he'd shown no interest in returning to the people that knew him best. How could they expect this time to be any different?

Especially when they could not lean upon Steve Rogers to assist them.

Nomble frowned, wondering if Sam had thought to delve into that particular topic at all with Barnes. She could not imagine there was an easy way to explore such a frightfully complex and loaded subject.

But she knew this was not the time for her to give air to such considerations.

Sometimes Barnes was willing to engage with them, but other times, like now, he slipped into himself. Nomble wasn't sure if it was because he was lost in the thicket of his own thoughts, or if he felt it necessary to show himself to be willingly compliant as a way of negotiating for Sam's continued care and safety. As if somehow, the words he considered to speak aloud might tarnish that solemn purpose.

While the man before her remained surrounded by enigma, her mind did not choose to view him as the Soldier, of that much she was certain. Her encounters with those parts of White Wolf were much easier for her to pinpoint, for they were piercing, but also relatively fleeting. When his mind entered such a sharp and pointed state, when certain code words or triggers were active, they relied on scripted countermeasures to quickly get matters under control. And those controls they used placed him into an unconscious or compliant state until such troubling snares could be resolved.

It was deemed a necessary, but dehumanizing part of the process so that they could tackle the Winter Soldier programming that burrowed inside of him like a rotten fur.

The first time she had seen it, well… it was difficult to properly define what moment could be considered the first, because those early weeks and months were far from a straightforward path. They were more like the winding way of the rivers and streams that lay hidden beneath the canopies of their lush central valleys.

Nomble only heard of one "Sergeant James Buchanan Barnes" less than a day after he first arrived in Wakanda. He'd entered their country at their King's behest, but with a decided lack of fanfare, and what some might consider outright secrecy. It was unusual, if not unheard of to allow outsiders into the inner sanctums surrounding Birnin Zana, and it was Ayo that told her the man Shuri had been tasked with aiding was the same one that T'Challa falsely believed to have been responsible for the death of King T'Chaka and others at the Bombing of the Vienna International Centre during a United Nations ceremony.

The actual murderer, Ayo had assured her, was a man by the name of Helmut Zemo who was now in custody elsewhere. This man, this Sergeant Barnes, was innocent of that terrible crime, but his history was layered in blood, though strangely, it appeared it was not by his own choice.

Nomble remembered standing with Shuri, Ayo, Yama, and Tasdi as T'Challa spoke with them of what he knew and compared it to what Shuri had been able to track down through the digital archives she kept on international matters. They knew he was a childhood friend of Steve Rogers, that he'd been captured and experimented on by HYDRA against his will, and that HYDRA's files named him as a Winter Soldier who was credited with a long list of assassinations for the better part of seventy years. Though neither T'Challa or Steve Rogers had seen it firsthand, Sergeant Barnes claimed Zemo had been able to use verbal commands as a method to control his mind, but none of them knew much more than that.

The early scans Shuri took displayed not only clear signs of torture, but utter depravity, and the longer Nomble regarded them, the more sick it made her to her stomach. While she didn't wish ill-will upon this outsider, she certainly doubted someone in such a condition, with such horrific injuries as the pins and nails she saw through his skull could hope to be made whole after such an ordeal. Part of her quietly wondered if it would have been a kindness to ask him if he wished to simply be released from such misery.

It didn't take long for her sympathy to grow, however, and for her to begin to see him as something more than the injuries beset upon him. He was calm in temper, curious, and it was surprisingly easy to be around him and feel for his plight, but also appreciate his willingness to help wherever he was needed.

While he was a guest of their king, he found no tasks beneath him, and would offer no complaints as he volunteered to help with grueling work or manual labor under the harsh African sun. Initially, Nomble wondered why he would do such things. No one would have faulted him for wishing to remain within the creature comforts of air conditioning while he recovered, and no one insisted he take on such tasks: He took them on because it was what he wished to do.

When Nomble had thought to ask him about it one day when she and Tasdi were tasked to guard him, as explanation he'd offered simply, "What point is there to all this if I'm just going to hole myself up in yet another lab? Nah, I'd rather help. Especially if it means hearing Shuri complain that she needs to recalibrate the sonic showers so that they can properly remove the lingering smell of goat."

Nomble remembered snorting, appreciating that even after all he'd endured, he still sought to cultivate a sense of humor and wield it daringly against Shuri, of all people.

This desire to help and good humor were both in his nature, and because they were so apparent, it was easy to overlook the violent, ailing man and provoking code words T'Challa warned them were hidden underneath.

It took them many months to have their first glimpse of the monster laying in wait that they had been forewarned about, but never seen firsthand on anything other than the brief recordings Shuri manages to decrypt. But there were many trials that came before their first sight of the Soldier, and they were just as formative and important.

Shuri sought to make his body whole as she pursued understanding the immense and complex damage done to his mind. Early on, she planned and oversaw a number of surgeries to remove both the harsh grafts of his damaged arm as well as the nails that were mounted into his very skull and driven into his brain. She concluded that the nails served a variety of sinister purposes, including that they were meant to be used in conjunction with electroconvulsive therapy in order to reprogram him and force him to a hyperaware state where he was highly suggestable. They offered no dulling agents as they experimented on him time and time again, and their cruel methods introduced what Shuri short-handed as 'noise" in the electric activity of his hemispheres, causing not insubstantial brain damage as they submitted him time and time again to use targeted electricity to wipe and repress targeted short and long-term memories.

When Shuri pressed him to speak frankly about such matters, initially Nomble got the impression he was intentionally holding back on some key details. It took time for her to realize that HYDRA had made such a mess of his mind that even on a given day, his memories and understanding of what had happened to him could be foggy and ever changing at best.

"I just know if I started to remember any fragments, anything they didn't like, they'd wipe me," he'd admitted on one early occasion as he kept his head pointed down to the floor, as if it was the only part of the room that would not judge him, "Sometimes more than once. If that didn't work, they'd combine it with oxygen deprivation or try to stop my heart so they could get a clean start."

"You were a victim," Ayo'd quietly observed, her voice tight but seeking truth, "There is no shame in what you were forced to endure."

Nomble remembered seeing him flinch at that, "You say that, but if I'd gotten away earlier, a lot of people would still be alive."

"None of what happened was a failure of your own character or strength of will, James," Ayo insisted.

James squirmed and kept his attention focused on the floor at his feet, "Yeah, well. I appreciate the vote of confidence, but… that's a lot of people that never made it home because I wasn't strong enough to break away sooner."

The days after that troubling exchange were absent of inquiries into his mind or memories save for Shuri's conclusion that she wished to remove the nails themselves before pursuing any further exploration to the code words they suspected were hidden deep within his mind.

"We do not have viable studies on procedures like that which was done to you, no less assurances that once we remove the nails, your body's unique physiology will mend the holes left behind properly, but based on my simulations, I feel it is the best option available to us. It may offer you further relief from your dependency on painkillers, but I am hopeful that given the opportunity to heal, your brain may form new and valuable connections that have been blocked for as many years."

"Then let's do it, Doc," James had remarked without any hesitation. "Just knowing they're not there will… it'll be something."

Shuri'd smiled that knowing, but sad smile of hers before adding, "I must warn you that your recovery in the wake of such a major surgery isn't guaranteed. There is always a chance it could be fatal or worsen your condition."

James considered her words a moment before shrugging them off, "I'd rather risk dying and be free of them than have to live another day with their handiwork still in me."

"Of course," Shuri agreed, "And we will make you as comfortable as we can while you recover."

And just like that, they'd struck an accord and arranged for the surgery that freed him of those awful metal spears that plagued him for so long. While his recovery in the wake of such a complex operation was not without challenges, it was one of the few times Nomble could remember where he was willing to sit still and stay nearby so his progress could be monitored and additional technologies utilized so that his brain could heal properly, with the correct connections forming with each step.

It was during this time of quiet healing that Nomble first took notice of the particular manner that was unique between James and Ayo. It was a curiosity at first, and something Yama was quick to point out in private. Always in private.

"Do you think she is aware?" Yama wondered aloud, "It is not as if we haven't invited her to some of our events, but it is different. She is still our Chief when she attends."

"She is not able to be anything but our Chief when she is around us," Nomble agreed. "Perhaps it is the fact that he is not a Dora that allows her to be more herself around him? I do not know, but I can see it as well. It is a sweet thing."

"It would be bold of you to let her hear you say that," Yama snorted teasingly.

"I do not mean it that way," Nomble was quick to clarify. "Only that Ayo is careful with her bonds, and James does not know our traditions and ways well enough to know he is glimpsing something rare and precious. He spends too much time around your antics and mistakes them for refined culture."

It was clear Yama viewed her words as a challenge, "Oh, we shall show that man so much culture that even Okoye will be impressed!"

"I'm sure we will," Nomble laughed, finding it strange but comforting how this guarded charge of theirs had somehow already begun to fold so easily into their lives, like he had always been a part of them.

How strange.

In the wake of the procedures to remove the nails and the important milestone it represented, it took the better part of a month until Shuri felt confident that his brain had healed enough for them to broach the topic of what still lay hidden beneath. Though they could not have known it then, it took far longer still for Shuri to begin to crack the code on how HYDRA had managed to control his mind than any of them might have expected. It was easy to assume her genius might offer easy solutions where they saw none, but it was rarely so simple where this man was concerned.

It was apparent James wanted to help them in any way he could, but he insisted that something strange happened whenever certain words were spoken that prevented him from remembering them. He wasn't even sure what language they were spoken in, but he felt certain they weren't English. He assumed the words spoken to him were real words, and not something entirely made-up, but how were they to know?

So, over the course of weeks, Shuri hooked him up to all manner of machines and systematically went through recorded syllables in any number of languages as she began the process of trying to decode what combination of words might elicit a reaction if in various parts of his brain where HYDRA had sought to target his behaviors. She likened it to trying to put together a puzzle without any guide, and without being permitted to place tiles together so they interlocked.

But she did not give up, and for a few hours each day, James obediently sat in a chair in her lab while he listened to recordings and Shuri took scans and notes. Though he'd shown no aggressive tendencies during his stay in Wakanda up until that point, he'd agreed to have his chest, legs, and arm restrained while the audio recordings ran their course. Nomble found the sight of it distressing, but he insisted it was necessary, and that he felt better for their presence.

His body remained tense as focused on his solemn task of listening, and the days and weeks went on as Shuri observed those readouts of hers, obviously hoping to be able to piece together a latent reaction. Some breadcrumb that would begin to unravel this hidden contingency that lived within this foreigner they'd all begun to develop a growing fondness for.

She started with German, and moved on to a number of related languages, such as Afrikaans and Dutch before she worked her way to Russian syllables. And somewhere in there, out of the blue on one unassuming afternoon, they got their first whiff of the true depths of what they were dealing with.

The tell of James's response to the particular recording was subtle, but it was enough that Nomble didn't miss the unfocused expression he made as his breathing hitched, nor the sudden shift of his vitals.

"Did you feel that?" Shuri immediately inquired, sensing it too.

He frowned, "Yeah, what happened?"

"Do you remember the syllable that was just played?"

His expression tightened as he searched his memory. When his eyes glanced back up, Nomble could see the unease sink into him, "...No… I… it was like I just blanked for a moment."

"We are here with you," Ayo offered her reassurance as he swallowed and took a deep breath.

After a moment had passed, Shuri inquired, "Can I repeat the syllable? To see if you experience the same reaction?"

His mouth tightened, but he nodded.

When Shuri played the syllable again, the same eerie blankness briefly returned to his face, and Nomble did not miss the sense of distress that suddenly flooded into him in the moments thereafter. He held his breath, and after a moment the side of his lips trembled, "...You found something, didn't you?"

Shuri nodded compassionately as she ducked down beside him so that he didn't need to look up to meet her eyes, "I think so. How are you feeling?"

"Something happened," he admitted, "It was like… for a second I was here, then I wasn't."

It was Ayo that spoke next from a few steps beside him, "You need not be afraid. You are not alone in this challenge we face."

Nomble could clearly remember James snorting dismissively, "Oh, I am afraid, but not for the reasons you're probably thinking," he admitted. He regarded the restraints with a new wave of concern, "Can we… can you make these stronger before we go any further? I don't want to hurt anyone..."

Nomble could remember seeing Tasdi frown as Shuri submitted to James's request and noted they had done enough for one day and would continue tomorrow.

In the days after, Shuri kept to her word and improved upon the restraints, going so far as to rely upon the services of her brother to test the latest version himself. It was an odd thing to see, watching their King struggle against the vibranium restraints as the the rest of them stood watch nearby. It was clear too that Shuri's humorous tongue wished to make light of the ridiculousness of the scene before her, but one only had to look to James standing nervously nearby to be made freshly aware that this was not a time for jokes about such serious matters.

Ayo said nothing and maintained her stoic expression as she stood guard beside him.

When that business was dealt with and James had an opportunity to test the restraints himself, Shuri slipped back into working on assembling what she believed were a rubric of specific Russian-bourne syllables that formedwords she felt certain acted as a countdown of sorts. Independently, each were all-but benign, but Shuri believed that in tandem, they would produce a result, though she was uncertain which result that might be.

Soon after, there came a day when it was time to put her theory to the test and begin working through the precise order of the wait commands.

"I believe I've narrowed down one of the sets of code words," Shuri supplied as she threw her fingers over a rotating holographic display of James's neural pathways, "They all react and resonate with one specific region of your brain but communicate across others, including motor control, problem solving, body awareness, speech, and facial recognition. It tells me they are part of the same underlying programming sequence. But like the combinations on a safe: We do not know the proper order for them, nor what might happen when the combination is unlocked."

James regarded the scan seriously, "...So you want to try to figure it out by process of elimination? Or trial and error?"

Shuri's expression was sympathetic, "I think we will be able to tell quickly, but I am unsure of how you will feel during it, so we should discuss the next steps in great detail, because I do not know if you will be able to maintain consent throughout what may happen."

James frowned, "So you're not sure what this batch of words does."

"Not clearly, no," Shuri admitted, "We have found other sets as well, but this is the longest sequence. I feel it is wise if we start with this sequence, because it is likely a method to access others. And if I had to theorize: The complexity of it speaks to the possibility that it is one of the core programs that ails you."

He snorted, but it was with decided unease.

"We don't need to do it today," Shuri reassured him, "You can think about it if you need time."

He shook his head, drawing his attention to the floor, "No it's… it's not like this is going to get any easier tomorrow. I know you're big on consent, but what do you want from me?" Nomble wasn't sure if she'd ever heard his voice so meek.

"First, I want you to look at me, because I want to see in your eyes that you know the choice of all of this is yours alone. We will do nothing you do not wish us to do."

Nomble watched as James lifted his head up to meet Shuri's concerned face, and he turned those pained and worried eyes of him to each of the Doras surrounding him, "I know," he admitted, "I know, I just… I guess I thought maybe all of this would be easier. That you'd just put me on ice, fix things, and then when I was brought back out, I'd be cured. That this living nightmare would finally be over."

"I wish it were that easy," Shuri agreed, "But… it is not so simple. Even still," she gestured to his missing arm and then his head, "You have already undergone much in your recovery. No one would fault you if you wish to leave the rest as it is and live out the rest of your days in caution, but in peace."

He shook his head, "No I… I've already had time enough to consider that," he admitted, "I really have. I know it's safer here in Wakanda, but… what they did to me. I… I can't let it happen again. Just knowing that if someone said the right goddamn words that they could turn me against you or anyone else. Could pull me back into being a weapon against my will if…" He licked his lips as he set his jaw, "I appreciate the offer, but… It wouldn't be safe. It wouldn't be a life. Not really. Maybe I could stay here, but I'd always be looking over my shoulder for the next threat. For the next asshole that wants an obedient puppet."

He fell to silence for a moment before quickly apologizing, "Sorry for the language, I just…"

"Do not worry. I share every spark of your fervor," Shuri reassured him. "But as we work to unravel those auditory strings, it will be important for you to realize you are likely to have to relinquish control as we proceed. I do not see a way around this possibility, and I want to make it clear so you have time to consider who you would entrust this crucial duty to."

"Who would have the power to control me, you mean?"

The princess cringed but nodded softly, "Not in so many words, but yes. I have discussed this matter with my brother, and we respect these are sensitive topics that cannot risk being spread further for the danger it presents to both yourself and others."

James nodded, and it was clear he was considering her words carefully, but he did not have to consider them for long. "Ayo," he said simply as he raised his head in her direction, as if checking if his selection was proper, "If that's alright."

Nomble watched the two of them regard one-another in shared silence as Shuri spoke, "It will mean she may wield the power to command you to-"

James cut the princess off mid-sentence, disregarding the impropriety of it, "I know what it means." His words were for Ayo alone as his attention settled onto her, "I've already thought about it. I trust you. With my life, and with making sure I don't hurt anyone. That I'm not used like a weapon again. And if you need to stop me… well. I trust you to do that too."

Nomble could see it clear as anything as something passed between the two of them. As James willingly laid his life in Ayo's strong hands, she considered the true depth of his request. With remarkable intention, she spoke an oath to him, and him alone, "I will speak the words needed to aid your cause, but only when necessary. And I will look out for you when you cannot look out for yourself. It is a burden I take willingly. An oath I will uphold with all conviction."

At that, Ayo stepped forward and switched her spear to her left hand and used her right hand to clasp James's forearm in a show of something more than solidarity. It wasn't simply a greeting, or moment bespoke of reassurance: She stood with her head held high, her eyes focused on his as the two regarded one another and the remarkable act of trust they'd agreed to take on together.

"Thank you," James whispered, and Ayo simply inclined her head in response.

None of them could have known then of the tremendous trials that lay ahead, especially for Ayo and James in particular. But Nomble remembered the powerful conviction of that moment, and how it only hardened her own resolve to see him made whole and healthy as well.

But in the hours since things had gone so terribly sideways in the present, this man, Barnes, that stood before her was not the same man that had laid his trust and wellbeing in them, and in Ayo in particular. But at the same time, he also was. Nomble could see the question on his mind, on who would soon be arriving to join them, and if they were seeking to unmake him.

He tucked his body close together and inspected his foot, balancing on the toes of it as Yama had requested as he looked between the women assembled around him for answers, for clarification. Nomble only wished she had words that could put his mind at-ease, but the passing hours had shown that it was ill advised to try to force him to believe their claims simply because they wished him to.

Nomble knew her next words had the power to upset the fragile balance they managed to forge in the time since they'd landed, but she hoped that if she spoke calmly and truthfully, that Barnes might not find them as upsetting as she feared he might, "Ayo will be joining us shortly. Do you know that name?" She chose her words carefully, avoiding phrases that implied he should remember or feel a certain way about people or things.

But it was clear as anything that the name immediately resonated with him, but that it was not a positive instinct. The tension in his shoulders immediately increased, and his posture shifted forward slightly, like a scared animal bracing for whatever came next.

The trust she saw in his eyes was snapped up in an instant, as if he sought to lay blame on them for inviting discontent to their communal doorstep.

Yama and Teela watched their exchange while Nomble tried to put herself into Barnes's position. Her best guess from their prior interactions and the vitriol he directed at Ayo was that he believed her to be a handler of HYDRA, and therefore: a very particular threat. It didn't take much to extrapolate out that he was scared she planned to wipe him and make him compliant once more. It was yet unclear what exactly he remembered, but he was correct that she had once wielded the power to do at least a fraction of the things he now so feared.

Barnes's voice was gravelly as he responded, "I know it." It looked as though he considered saying more, but he opted to remain silent, watching wordlessly as Yama busied herself and set the fire nearest him.

Though Nomble knew it was likely to fall on deaf ears, she felt compelled to speak up on Ayo's behalf, hoping that somehow her words might break through enough to draw him away from the piercing balance of fight or flight she saw building in his bright blue eyes, "She is not your enemy. She will not speak the words you fear." Part of her considered telling him that the words themselves had been made benign, but she wasn't sure if such an admittance would be any more valuable in the moment, nor if it was her place to volunteer such things. While she wanted to believe the power of truth, she also respected that depending on what Shuri had planned, it could be deemed beneficial for Barnes to maintain belief in the innate threat the words represented so that perhaps he was inclined to remain civil as he was now.

The performative nature of it all didn't settle well with Nomble, but how would one even go about proving such a claim without causing him undue strife? It was not like the relative simplicity of the nails at all.

Regardless: Nomble felt certain it was not her place to try to convince him that his mind was at-once safe from these concerns, especially in the wake of the day's strange happenings that might imply otherwise. Was it possible Shuri had somehow missed a code word? Did she have any idea what had happened that had brought Barnes's mind to the state it was lingering in?

Shuri once spoke of the possibility of reviving some of the trigger words if it was deemed absolutely necessary. Would she consider such drastic possibilities based on the man they saw before them?

Nomble sighed as she regarded him, hoping somehow that he might recognize her and that she was no enemy to be feared. But she could also see the resilience of the man before her, the injured warrior braced to defend himself and whatever came next, and her well-honed nerves were not blind to the threat he posed.

But the better part of her saw more. Saw the weariness in him, the fear. It was not that she hadn't seen him confused before, but this brand of deep discontent was very particular, because he knew his future and very identity were on the line, but that he could trust no one before him.

Barnes didn't debate Nomble's claim that Ayo meant him no harm, but it was clear he did not believe her words for an instant. Nomble felt certain in that moment that her choice to try to speak to such things had a way of poisoning the well between them, and it hurt to see the distance grow again. "Are you sure you do not want something to eat or drink? It had been hours since you last had anything."

He narrowed his eyes, glaring into her while from a few feet away, Yama helpfully seconded her claim, "Sam suggested it as well."

"You told me he suggested it," Barnes pointedly clarified. He turned his attention back to Nomble, "Is it a command?"

Nomble hated the challenge she saw in his blue eyes, "No," she whispered, because she would not force it upon him.

"Then no," he responded in that dark tone of his. The one that demonstrated the lack of trust between them.

"You are being needlessly dramatic," Yama sighed. "You are injured and have lost a great deal of blood."

"I can go a long time without if I need to."

Nomble could feel the power in his gaze. The memories lying just under the surface of the atrocities HYDRA had subjected him to in the name of science and progress. But she still felt it necessary to speak her mind, "We will not force you, but your stubbornness serves no purpose other than to prolong your own discomfort." She picked up a water flask from nearby, "I can drink from it first if you need proof it is not laced with something that could harm you if that is your concern."

The man before her said nothing. He showed no interest in accepting her offer as he crossed his arms protectively over his chest and rubbed a hand across his exposed arm. He looked up at the sky overhead, and Nomble got the distinct impression he was calculating how much longer it would be until his will was forcibly ripped from him once more.

Nomble wasn't expecting him to say anything more as the four of them stepped back into that uncomfortable, loaded silence of theirs. The only sounds that could be heard were the crackle and pop of the fires and a distant call of cranes in the distance. The fire light played against his hardened features, but something about them shifted the longer he stood watch for Ayo's ship. Nomble could see it, the subtle fright of unspoken worries that wrapped themselves around him once more as the raven-like ship finally appeared in the distance beyond Warrior Falls.

He tilted his head up to watch its approach, dropping his eyes to glance first to Nomble, Teela, and then Yama. It was Yama he spoke to in a voice that was edged in many emotions at once. He confided a simple request to her, the one that had asked his name, sought his consent, mended his foot, and who hadn't attempted to convince him in Ayo's innocence in the crimes he believed her capable of.

He asked softly, simply, "Can I see one more sunset?"

Yama cocked her head, but immediately recognized the palpable seriousness of his inquiry. Nomble wasn't certain he'd asked for permission for anything before. Why now? Why this?

"You will see this and many more sunsets," Yama reassured him.

He chewed his lip at her claim, but wasn't satisfied by it as he added even more quietly, "I won't remember them. I want to remember this one."

Nomble's heart was breaking to hear the profound surrender in his voice as he watched the approaching ship draw closer.

"Why this one?" Yama inquired, as if she could not help but wonder aloud.

"Because for just a moment during the story," the battered man with their friend's face spoke to the mountains and sage-scented open air, "I could almost imagine what it must have been like for that dragon to finally fly free again."

Author's Remarks:

* Isalamane Sentliziyo - Wakandan Translation: Kin of the Heart

Ah, the power of names…. and... yeah, Nomble should *definitely* pass on talking about some of the events of "How to Train your Dragon" 2 and 3. I still think it's *wild* they opted to kill off a character how they did… It's not Howard and Maria Stark, but… close enough...

James wishing he'd had the strength to break away from HYDRA sooner... :(

Barnes asking to see one last sunset… :(

Also please enjoy exploring some of my further head-canons on the awful process that it was to try to help Bucky when he first came to Wakanda, as well as his evolving relationships among Shuri and the Dora Milaje.

As an aside: The exchange regarding him biting Okoye in Chapter 45 was intended as a brief spot of humor, as well as perhaps a small bit of running commentary on why HYDRA might have issued him a mask to begin with… (I view it was likely there in order to have control over what he ate and drank, but… I mean… who's to say he didn't bite when pressed...?)

My wonderful friend, thefalconthatcriedwolf (on Ao3), also wrote a Gift Fic called "Judge and Shuri" which you should definitely check out if you could use a further dose of Bucky, Wakanda, and Angst in your life!

Also, if you're interested in checking out some of my other art and such or connecting with me on social media, you can find me:

Website – kimberlylecrone (with a dot) com

Twitter – KLeCrone

Instagram – k (with a dot) lecrone

Tumblr – klecrone

I'm dipping into some weeks of some rather intense overtime coming up, but I'm still hoping to keep to weekly or more frequent chapter updates as I can manage it.

As always: Thank you so much for sharing all your comments, thoughts, kudos, and kind words of support on this ongoing story. I hope this update finds you well, and among friends and family that also wish to see the best in you. Thank you for continuing to join me on this journey.