Winter of the White Wolf: Post S1 of The Falcon and the Winter Soldier Chapter 48: Marmalade and Mountain Sage, a falcon and the winter soldier fanfic

I had the incredible pleasure of working with dead but delicious (lunamrublum on Twitter) on a piece of art she created to go along with a scene from this chapter. Please check out this chapter on Archive of Our Own to see the art and link to her Twitter to see more of her incredible art!

And *huge* thanks to her for bringing this particular moment to life in illustrated form.

Simply search for: "KLeCrone Ao3 Winter of the White Wolf"

Winter of the White Wolf

Chapter 48 - Marmalade and Mountain Sage

Barnes hoped Yama, Nomble or Teela might say something more to acknowledge his request to see the sunset, but as the ship approached in the distance, they stood in shared silence. As if commanded, Yama and Nomble stepped aside to retrieve their spears and take up position on either side of the undulating orange energy dome surrounding him, standing at a soldier's guard.

He wasn't entirely certain what their play was, but he was confident they remained intent to draw him into a false sense of security for whatever they were planning next.

Unconsciously, he drew his hand to his scalp as he felt out the locations he was certain the nails had been not a day ago. The revelation of their absence remained as confusing as it was unsettling, calling into question some of the few certainties he had.

Everything around him felt so immeasurably disjointed. His head and arm were usually pounding if he went without treatments for any length of time. Yet when he'd woken up here, he'd been without the vials of pills he'd taken from the hospital to moderate the pain. What had happened to them? It was obvious these people wanted something from him, but he wasn't sure what. Information? Obedience? He couldn't help but feel there was still something he was missing.

He was certain the words Ayo'd spoken in the lab were meant to make him submissive. He could feel the pull in them, the twinge of power in them that some buried part of him intrinsically recognized. But it wasn't the same as before. It was as if he could hear the words this time rather than just the overwhelming sensations they drew out in him.

For the first time, he could remember them clearly too.

Russian. They were all in Russian.

But why hadn't they worked as she so obviously intended? Or was it that she needed to speak more of them? Was there a piece they were missing?

Now that they had isolated him, he'd expected swift retribution. Enrichment. A correction for his brief attempts towards autonomy.

Was this another test?

Usually the objectives were clear. But he couldn't even remember being captured or coming out of cryo, yet Shuri'd claimed he'd undergone partial cryo the day before.

The more he tried to put the pieces together, the less certain he was of anything.

But one of the few certainties he maintained was that Ayo was a handler, which made her a dangerous adversary. But why had she been so slow in coming? Why hadn't she simply traveled out here and forced him into a state of compliance rather than wait until after his foot was reformed? Had the delay been a result of her own injuries? Had he managed to injure her with the phone to a greater extent than he initially believed? He wasn't sure, but he knew he was missing some key facts.

The group of individuals surrounding him appeared intent to lull him into a false sense of safety, but he didn't understand why. And what was the explanation for the shared likeness hologram the man clad in a black cat suit had shown him? Regardless of whether or not Sam wanted to claim these people weren't HYDRA or serving under a similar cause, it was obvious they were dangerous and knew too much.

And that they were set on manipulating him.

He had a plan for how he could escape, but he hadn't sought to put it into practice. Why? All he would have needed to do was to reach forward and take one of the women inside the shield hostage. Probably Yama. She'd been closer, and she wouldn't have seen it coming. They might not have brought their weapons inside, but they were far more fragile than he was. He'd carefully observed the way they stepped through the shield, how it parted around their forms and he concluded that if negotiation failed, he could have used their bodies as a way through the field by force if necessary. He still had the second phone he could use as a weapon if he needed, too.

But that part of him, the part that planned and drew out contingencies by whatever means were necessary… he found himself not fighting the possibilities, but questioning them. Questioning everything.

It was as if the tools were there, freely available to him to be a direct means to his ends, but rather than trust them and the cruel efficiency he knew he was capable of, he found some part of him resistant to their call.

He didn't understand that either.

Why?

It wasn't the first time he'd second-guessed himself, but he didn't understand it anymore now than he did then.

It used to be simple. Straightforward. Tasks handed to him to fulfill without question, because that was what he was trained to do. They needed him. The world needed him to be strong, focused. To do the things others could not.

At least, that's what HYDRA told him. Back when they simply called him "soldier." He knew what the term meant, but when they said it, they spoke it as if it were a name.

What had happened to the others? Some of them once had names that weren't "soldier."

...Why did he remember them? He didn't think he was supposed to remember them. He hadn't yesterday. He was sure of it. If he remembered something he wasn't supposed to, he'd have to undergo enrichment.

He didn't understand it then, he'd just accepted their reassurances that it was necessary. That it was a small sacrifice to ensure that he could perform with precision. That it would protect those around him. After all: if he was captured, they couldn't let information fall into enemy hands. It would put all of the lives of those around him at risk. It was important he didn't remember their names. Their activities. Their whereabouts.

He had to keep them safe.

What had changed?

Why had he retrieved this particular target from the water? Why had he gone against his better instincts and every bit of training and mission-prioritization to stick around nearby thereafter to ensure his target was retrieved by someone other than HYDRA. Why was he so certain they were a threat to Steve, to him, at the same time he acknowledged that if he simply completed his mission objective, he would have been able to return to start the cycle anew.

He still didn't understand why he'd been able to change his mission parameters, but the pivot felt correct. Still felt correct.

Like his change in protocols surrounding Sam.

Was he malfunctioning somehow?

Initially, he'd just wanted to escape. For them to leave him alone. But as each wave of HYDRA operatives came to finish his prior mission, or to try to take him by force, his opinion of them shifted.

And that sinking feeling of discontent, of awareness only grew when he saw those images when he slept. When he started to question everything, knowing that if HYDRA got ahold of him, they would take everything he knew away by force.

But why were there so many names? His last handler had used many names: Soldier. Asset. Son. Steve Rogers had called him Bucky. James Buchanan Barnes.

Friend.

Sam had used that name too. These people around him chose still others: Buck. James. White Wolf.

But what did it mean?

Was it like the story with the dragon? Where the boy sought to place a name on him because he didn't know any better?

He wasn't sure what to believe.

The name he'd chosen for the moment didn't feel like his own either. It was just a consolation prize, a shorthand he'd learned at the Smithsonian when he'd seen that haunting face etched into the glass. He didn't remember it, couldn't understand it, but the family name felt close enough to the fires raging in his mind to at least serve a purpose.

That was as close as he dared go.

In the week before, he'd managed to creep close enough to the hospital to keep watch over Steve Rogers and protect him from a steady trickle of HYDRA agents while he recovered. But his established perimeter around the hospital also allowed him the opportunity to listen into conversations between him and Sam.

The two talked about a variety of topics. Many of them were of little interest to Barnes, or involved complex colloquialisms he didn't understand. Steve's descriptions were often long and meandering, spanning eras of the man's life which made little sense at the time. His manner of explaining the past, by referencing years and world events and mixing them into a narrative were confusing at best to Barnes's aching head.

Phrases like "After I got out of the ice" initially led Barnes to believe that perhaps he was another subject of HYDRA, yet Steve and Sam spoke as if they were vehemently against them, and the stories he shared with Sam had a way of only further solidifying Barnes's resolve to not return to them.

But there was one topic he keyed into as he listened in from a short distance away: What Steve Rogers remembered of this "Bucky" he claimed he saw.

Steve said he'd seen him during a confrontation in the city, that he'd recognized him and called out to him, only to find the other man didn't recognize him. When Steve relayed the story, Barnes hadn't remembered the confrontation, but now he did. Why? Why had the memory not been there before? He knew him. Had he been wiped in the middle of a mission?

But by and large, Steve chose to not to focus on those failed missions. Instead, he shared stories from a time before he and Sam knew each other, back when he was young and he claimed he knew this "Bucky."

Barnes sat perched across the musky alleyway outside as Steve shared those stories. Stories of this "Bucky" he knew, and now claimed to be alive in some way. He wasn't sure how, and kept using terms like "brainwashing" and "Nazi experiments." But the more Barnes heard, the more certain he became that though he did not know who he was, he was not the person Steve remembered.

He supposed some part of him hoped it would be otherwise if only for the convenience it might afford, but he didn't feel inclined to pretend to be someone he was not. The only real clues he had were locked away in his own mind, and though he didn't understand what they added up to, he wanted to figure it out on his own. Needed to figure it out on his own. That was the only way he could be sure others weren't simply molding him into who - what - they wanted him to be.

And he no longer wanted to be someone's weapon.

But like Steve, Barnes felt certain the people around him now wanted to be someone else too. Only this time, he was finding it difficult to piece together exactly who that was. Was the ID in his pocket the same person Sam claimed these women around him knew? Had time passed like they claimed, and the absence of the nails implied?

Could it actually be ten years later?

This was all so disjointed and confusing.

All he knew was that the images he saw in his mind when he slept for too long didn't include any of these "Wakandans." He wasn't sure what that meant, but he wished they'd leave him alone so he could try to sort it out.

That being as it was, he didn't have much to go on for the three women nearest him, part of him remained conflicted if they were familiar to him at all, or if his mind was just playing tricks on him. Perhaps it was just the unified way they dressed?

His mind fought back against the overt simplicity of the answer. His mind was sharp, and he was clearly able to differentiate individuals, regardless of how they dressed. His training had impressed upon him the importance of being able to see through disguises and identify targets. This was no different. Should be no different.

It was as if small sections of his thoughts would snap together, but they'd immediately conflict with other truths he struggled to sort out. If he'd never met any of these women before, then why was part of him so convinced the one named Shuri had subjected him to experiments, and the one named Ayo was a prior handler? He didn't remember either, but it was like the shadow of the marks were still present on him. And he was certain he had reason to fear what Ayo was capable of inflicting on him. That they'd been in the throws of combat before.

The others were… different somehow. Particularly Yama and Nomble. Perhaps it was the fact Yama spoke harshly of a past he didn't know how she could have known about. That she didn't force her words on him. That she asked for his consent rather than demanding it. And when he chose otherwise, she didn't force him.

And she somehow knew about the nails. But she framed their existence as not necessary, but abuse.

And Nomble, she kept watch over him in a way that reminded him of how Sam watched over Steve in the hospital. Though he knew she was a skilled combatant, he didn't find her threatening in the same way Ayo was. She was different. When she told her stories, it was when he felt like she was almost familiar somehow. But not.

It didn't make any sense.

Though Barnes hadn't said anything aloud to deserve her attention, she spoke quietly to him in the language she called Sindarin. Grey-Elvish. The one she insisted was in some way like a private code between the two of them, "You will see the sunset. I know you may not choose to believe us, but we mean to keep you safe."

He glanced to her briefly, only long enough to make eye contact before she added in the same language, "Do you remember this quote, or who said it? 'A hunted man sometimes wearies of distrust and longs for friendship'?"

Part of him didn't want to entertain her inquiry with a response. After all: She clearly had something to do with Ayo's summons.

At the same time… he couldn't deduce why he knew the quote as well as the speaker who said it, and why those two solemn facts as well as the language she spoke to him in were somehow related to her, specifically. Not HYDRA. Not Yama. Not Ayo or Shuri. Her.

It was part of a story. But where did he learn it, and when? It didn't make sense.

He chose to reply in the same language, "Yes. The speaker was a man known as Strider."

"Aragorn," Nomble gently corrected.

He took his attention off the approaching ship just long enough to parse her expression. It wasn't a smile in the way Yama explained Sam's "smiling" expression, but there was something similar in it. She was incorrect, but he didn't think she was trying to trick him, "It was Strider. He hadn't revealed himself by the other name yet."

He caught Yama and Teela glancing his way from the other side of the shield, and while he couldn't read their expressions, it was apparent the two of them were trying to follow their exchange and failing.

"You are right," Nomble acquiesced, "Though it was Aragon then that made an oath to the hobbits Frodo, Sam, and Pippin."

Her words had a way of sitting with him more than he would have liked. They distracted him from the approaching ship in a very particular way, because some part of him recognized the names of the characters and the story. He didn't know all of it, but it was as if little fragments were slowly coming into focus.

How strange.

Barnes said nothing more as he tracked the approaching vessel as it slowed and came to hover over the grass at the far end of their plateau. Smoothly, it rotated in place until the rear hatch faced them. Whatever brief moment of repose his mind had as it tried to wrap itself around Nomble's words and the history of the language and story it drew upon were rapidly shattered, as he braced himself for who he anticipated was about to step off the ship, and the swift end to things that he knew would follow.

He didn't fight the instincts that bid him to step away from the dark, foreboding aircraft, feigning that he might somehow take shelter and avoid detection from the coming storm. As he positioned himself under a canopy of trees so his back was inches away from the shield, he watched the hatch finally open.

Barnes expected to see any number of people inside the ship, but he was surprised when the only figure visible was indeed Ayo. She held a spear in her right hand and her eyes glanced out over the encampment, surveying it critically before the weight of her attention fell over him.

She said nothing as she stepped off the ship and approached them, but Barnes didn't miss the unevenness of her gait. She was clearly trying to mask the injury to her left leg: The injury he'd delivered to her hours ago when she'd sought to restrain him in the lab.

Barnes tensed as he observed her, hoping to parse the cruel intentions behind her expression, but he wasn't able to latch onto anything. He watched her lips, as if he might be able to foretell the exact moment where she would seek to unmake him.

Ayo kept her eyes focused on him as she crossed the grass and approached the three women who stood guard along the perimeter of the shield. Once she was a few steps away, Ayo pulled her attention away from him, to the tribal clad figures and offered them a fist-to-chest salute which they returned in unison. Perhaps this was a sort of ceremony before the eventuality that awaited him?

He braced himself as he saw her prepare to speak, but her words were in Wakandan, and were not meant for him, "Each of you have acted with admirable intention this day. The sight of it brings me immense pride, even if we walk together into an uncertain future." She kept her eyes on the tribal clad women in front of her as she continued, "It is wise for us to plan that we should remain stationed here overnight. I have brought food and supplies to aid us." She turned her attention to Teela, "You are welcome to stay, but I would not request it of you. I know you are long beyond your shift and your family waits patiently for you. I would only ask that if you choose to return to them, that you consider visiting the Design Center at your earliest convenience, as Nareema, and especially M'yra, could use your support."

Barnes felt Ayo's eyes upon him only fleetingly before she continued, "The injuries M'yra suffered were grave, and while Shuri believes she will walk in time, much of her right arm necessitated amputation. She rightly mourns the loss before her. Though I wish it was under better circumstances, you will be tasked as the new head of your department's security detail."

"Yes, my Chief," Teela responded. Her voice was cast with a very particular tone Barnes was unfamiliar with, that was new to her.

He did not miss the glances each of the women separately made to the far side of the shield he stood braced within. He didn't recognize the name, but from context, he had his suspicions, and they unsettled him far more than he would have expected they might as the thumb of his right hand absentmindedly searched the crest of his left shoulder, tracing the line between soft flesh and unforgiving metal beneath the fabric over it. Like the scars left behind by the nails, he was certain the scars he felt running beneath his thumb didn't match the ones he remembered from the day before.

How was that possible?

A moment passed before Ayo spoke to Teela again, "You are free to speak your mind. I will hear whatever words you have to say without judgement or repercussion."

Teela's expression shifted as she turned her attention back to him, "It is not you I wish to have words with."

Barnes felt all of their eyes upon him at once again as Ayo considered her request, "I have not been present for much of what you have witnessed firsthand, but I question what salve may be possible when he is not himself. I feel certain the man we know would feel profound regret for his actions."

"I believe this, but it is not that man that has cost M'yra so much," Teela calmly observed.

Ayo met Barnes's eyes as she inclined her head and deliberated. After a moment of consideration, she spoke, "I grant your request. I only ask that you remain mindful of those cast in the wake of your conversation."

"Of course, my Chief," Teela acknowledged Ayo before she stepped closer to the shield, turning her full attention to where Barnes stood motionless against the far side.

She kept her back straight with her spear in-hand as she addressed him, "I would speak with you before I take my leave."

He regarded her, trying to piece together the underlying meaning of her posture and expression into something tangible. He felt certain Teela did not know the words that could make him compliant, but his handler's presence from a few feet further away told him that he should be inclined to acknowledge her request or risk the repercussions.

"I do not know you well," Teela spoke evenly. "And I choose to believe that what has happened cascaded from both fear and confusion, much of which still surrounds you. I do not think it fair to ask if you would have acted differently, for what is done is done. What I want to know is if you feel regret for causing such a terrible injury now that you have had the opportunity to see some of us as individuals and not simply hands that wielded weapons against you."

Barnes regarded her as he shifted his weight and ran his right hand over the cool metal plates of left wrist. He knew Teela's question was for him and that it required consideration before he could provide a suitable response.

Years of training under HYDRA had taught him the correct answer was that opponents were meant to be dispatched and not left alive so that they could strike again. That a swift death was proper protocol unless a mission necessitated keeping a target alive long enough that they could be interrogated. But all-the-while, his directives were clear:

Complete the mission.

Leave no witnesses.

But he still didn't understand why he'd acted differently here. Why had he held himself back? Part of him wanted to believe some type of behavior modification had been put into him to prevent misbehavior. Hadn't something similar been done with the Widows his handlers and their associates spoke of? But now he wasn't sure. He had no problems killing the HYDRA agents that had pursued Steve and him back in D.C., but he'd done his best not to hurt anyone else that happened upon such scenes, or whose supplies he required, even if they'd caught sight of his face.

But he didn't know why.

Logic told him it would have been safer to kill them too.

But it didn't seem correct.

Teela waited him out, regarding him with those steady eyes of hers until he finally pieced together a suitable reply, "I just wanted to get away."

"I believe that," she responded before adding, "Do you wish to cause me injury now?"

He looked up at her, not understanding the reasoning behind the strange question. Why would he desire to cause her injury outside of conflict? "No. We're not at odds."

"And if we were again? Would you strike me as you did M'yra?"

It was as if she was seeking out an answer to a question she hadn't spoken. He felt like he was missing some crucial piece of information, and his eyes briefly glanced to Ayo before returning to where Teela stood watching him. Was this a test of some sort? Would he be required to spar against Teela as he'd been asked to against others? "I don't want to fight you," he admitted in quiet honesty as he self-consciously ran his hand over the plates of his metal arm, noting again the subtle variations from the chrome one he recalled having only the day before.

"Are you proud of what you have done to her? Do you enjoy learning of her fate?"

He slowly shook his head, confused at how he was meant to respond, "...No... I don't enjoy hurting people." He felt his face flinch, worried that showing preference was likely to be considered a mark of weakness that required enrichment.

Teela chewed on his statement for a moment before she returned to her original question, "Then do you feel regret for causing a grave injury to someone who also does not enjoy hurting others? Do you now realize her intent, like mine, was to aid Sam and rescue him from his injuries?"

Barnes frowned at her statement but said nothing as he looked over to the others standing a short distance behind Teela. Their faces didn't offer any additional clarity, but they were obviously listening to the exchange.

It was Nomble who spoke up next. Her words were for him, "Do you know what regret is?"

He shifted uneasily in place under her gaze, "I know the meaning, but I don't understand," he admitted, fearing this was an incorrect answer that might lead to swift correction under Ayo's command.

Ayo did not move, but Nomble took a few steps forward, crossing the distance between them. There was no rebuke in her posture as she approached the shield and stood beside Teela. When Nomble spoke, her voice was patient, measured. It was the tone she used when he'd asked her questions about the stories, "It is a feeling of sadness, of repentance for something that has happened. Where choices made led to an outcome that you no longer desire, but cannot undo."

He considered her statement, stretching his mind to the far-reaching implications of the meaning of 'regret' that he had only just begun to scratch the surface of. What of the people he'd been tasked to seek out and eliminate as mission objectives? Or those that had manipulated him for so long? What were the intended bounds of 'regret' and what did they want from him in that moment?

He didn't understand.

Why were these people so set on trying to play mind games like this? What would it even accomplish?

"There is much to consider," Nomble added in a softer voice, "We feel for our sister in her plight. If you do not understand the nuance of the emotions surrounding it, we cannot fault you for such things."

They fell into silence for a moment as the fire stirred and popped. Barnes found himself reflecting on faces he didn't know and weighing them against ones he did. Targets. Adversaries. Witnesses. Steve. Sam. He'd hurt the two of them, and in the aftermath of those actions, he felt somehow compelled to try to make sure they weren't in pain. He wasn't sure if that was what 'regret' was, but he knew what pain was. He understood suffering firsthand, and he was certain he didn't want them sharing the same fate.

"Is she in pain?" he asked, raising his eyes to Teela for clarification.

In turn, she glanced behind her to Ayo. Barnes tensed as she opened her mouth, but her words remained in Wakandan, "M'yra is resting now and has medications to aid her, but yes: she is in pain. She is likely to be for many months to come, if not for the rest of her life."

He considered her response as he ran his hand up to the crest of his left shoulder where the metal met with the unseen flesh underneath. Part of him didn't want to speak. Didn't want to risk earning his handler's ire with any questions of his own, but he had to know, "...Is Sam in pain?"

Ayo regarded him with that even, unreadable expression of hers before she responded, "He is. Shuri is seeing to him presently. We hope he will recover use of his hands in time. Neither required amputation as M'yra's lead arm did."

Barnes waited at attention to see if Ayo meant to reprimand him, but she inclined her head to Teela, as if directing him to address her instead. He offered simply, "I didn't intend for anyone to be in pain."

Teela raised her chin and regarded him before she nodded, and he got the impression that his answer satisfied her inquiry in some way, "We will talk again soon," she stated simply before she put her free hand across her chest and nodded to Nomble, who returned the gesture as she watched Teela walk back towards where Ayo and Yama stood.

Barnes said nothing more as Teela, Ayo, and Yama began speaking to one another as they made arrangements a short distance away and discussed what needed to be unloaded from Ayo's ship. The three women carried bundles from Ayo's ship and set them on the ground as they spoke about food, lodgings, and names he did not recognize. Barnes watched and listened, ever on the alert for equipment that would signify the eventuality he still felt certain was coming, though he didn't understand why Ayo saw fit to delay them further.

"Are you comfortable?" Nomble asked him quietly from across the other side of the shield. She hadn't moved and neither had he. She could have sought to get closer to him by walking the perimeter of the shield, but instead she addressed him from where she was, "Or are you in pain as well?"

He pulled his attention away from watching his prior handler as he glanced over to Nomble and she added, "It is difficult for me to tell if you are in pain because you are remarkably skilled at hiding it."

The truth was: he was in pain. His foot was tolerable after Yama had touched the medical bead to his skin, but the pain relief it offered was moderate at best. He felt certain he'd sustained a number of hairline fractures across his ribs and further injuries to his right arm, but he wasn't inclined to share the information, for fear that it would mean he might again be asked to let one of them enter the dome. The fleeting possibility made him feel vulnerable. Exposed.

That being as it was, he remained confused by the fact that his head wasn't killing him, and that graft of his left shoulder wasn't searing in a way it would usually be after going this long without painkillers.

But he didn't see the good in telling her that, when he still wasn't entirely sure what was going on. If they were planning to wipe him or send him to enrichment, he'd find out soon enough.

So he chose not to answer, all-the-while wondering if it might be the last time he would be permitted to experience the tenuous empowerment of free-will.

Nomble said nothing more as she stood guard across from him and the other three women unloaded bundled items from the craft Ayo arrived in. It was difficult for Barnes to identify the underlying contents, but he was well-aware the larger packs that he initially registered as blankets and bedrolls could easily be concealing medical equipment within. Even still, he watched as they set the last of them on ground a short distance away from the shield, and he caught wind of a very particular aroma that he immediately pinpointed as food of some sort.

Barnes couldn't identify anything more about it than that, but some part of him saw fit to remind him of just how hungry and thirsty he truly was. He did what he could to push the sensation aside, but it continued to grow more demanding, gnawing at him with an uneasy reminder that he was once again forced to be reliant on those around him to take care of his most basic needs.

Across the way, Teela saluted the other women one at a time before she took her leave and approached the outer boundary of the shield once more. Barnes didn't know what she was looking for from him, but he regarded her uncertainly from where he stood beside Nomble.

"I am glad you are alive," Teela offered simply, "When it is suitable, I will relay to M'yra your words. That you didn't intend for her to be in pain." She paused before adding, "I hope your own wounds mend swiftly and without complication, Barnes."

He wasn't sure how he was meant to respond, but he watched Teela regard him for a moment longer before she tilted her head and dismissed herself, boarding the smaller of the two aircraft that was situated in the grass nearby.

As he watched the narrow black ship rise and take flight, he became aware of movement as well as new scents emanating across the way from him. Nomble stood guard while Ayo and Yama busied themselves unpacking what looked to be small bundles of colorful wrapped baskets and fist-sized containers. He regarded their position and backed away from them, making sure he was as far away as the shield permitted while a renewed sensation of profound dread settled into him once more, reminding him of how trapped he truly was. His eyes darted between the three of them, tracking their movements and colorful garb and baskets against the lush green tapestry of their natural surroundings as he struggled to remain aware that it could all be a distraction he was meant to buy into.

He briefly turned his head to glance over his shoulder to check if other operatives might be concealed nearby, but a flash of movement brought his attention back to Yama, who laid out a small blue and black patterned blanket and arranged some of the items on top of it. She looked up to him as he backed away and repositioned himself, "You do not need to be so worried. It is only food. You may wish to test yourself to see how long you can go without, but we are hungry."

"Yama…" Barnes snapped to attention at the sound of Ayo's voice, but it was not meant for him. Even still, he could sense the warning in it, one that swiftly reminded him of a handler's nearby presence. She met his eyes momentarily before dropping them back to Yama, though it was Nomble that spoke next.

"Yama speaks candidly," the other woman offered as she stood guard and watched Yama open one of a series of colorful, small glass jars with questionable gelatinous and liquid contents he was unable to identify from this distance. "It has been a boon, I think. It is not like the other times."

"Better than some, worse than others," Yama agreed, using a spoon to portion a dark red substance from one container into a nearby bowl.

Barnes watched, listened, but remained still. Perhaps the virtue of his continued compliance might save him from notice for whatever they were planning next.

"What transpired here while you stood watch?" Ayo inquired.

"Nothing of note transpired while we stood guard," Yama responded with a very particular tone Barnes couldn't parse. "Perhaps similar to as we are now. A tenuous impasse."

Nomble glanced behind her to Yama, but Yama only shrugged, "If you mean when Nomble and I were off-duty, we saw to the mending of one foot and shared stories."

"Stories?" Ayo pressed.

Yama continued opening and closing various containers, inspecting the contents of some and portioning the contents of others. Barnes caught the scent of something new in the air, he didn't know how to identify the aroma as anything beyond "food," but it was not unpleasant, and it reminded him of just how his stomach continued to revolt at his continued denial to satiate its pleas. The nutrition offered to him under HYDRA's watch was often devoid of such complex smells, and even this was unlike anything he'd caught wind of in Washington D.C., which smelled mostly of damp, rotting leaves, wet concrete, and the residual musk of too many bodies trapped in one place.

Yama responded to Ayo's inquiry, "It was not as if we were to sit in strained silence for hours, my Chief." She tilted her head, "I did tell you that you would bask in the wake of my highly refined ingenuity."

Ayo spared another glance towards first Barnes, but her attention fell to his foot, which he quickly repositioned so it was more difficult for her to see it.

"You should speak with him," Yama added more softly, "He prefers our tongue, and it would be good for you both, I think."

His handler's attention settled back on Yama, "Do you consider yourself on-duty presently?"

"I can be whatever it is you wish me to be. You did offer to hear Teela's words without judgement or repercussion, so thought you were offering the same to us. If I have overstepped, it was not my intention. I will as-ever follow your lead."

There was silence between the three women, and there was an undeniable nuance to their conversation Barnes couldn't grasp beyond some subtlety that Yama was a soldier under Ayo, and was offering some manner of challenge to her.

"I have offered Teela and your sisters space to speak their minds with what they have felt and seen this day. It is fair I offer you the same. What is it you would have me hear?"

Barnes was still trying to sort out the dynamic between them, but Yama glanced to Nomble, as if prompting her to speak first.

He could feel the palpable tension in the air as Nomble paused, appearing to choose her words carefully, "It is abundantly clear that this is not what we have seen before. I would have you consider the possibility that the best way forward might be to shuk off the lingering injustices another man dealt you, and instead to see this before us with fresh eyes. To offer the sight of "Ayo" rather than our esteemed Chief, because the progress we have made was not as Dora, but as kinship seen as individuals, I think."

Ayo turned her attention from Nomble to Yama, "And you? What words would you have me hear?"

Yama shrugged, "I am fond of Nomble's wise words, but I find myself inclined to abstain my own until after you spoken with that lurking in the shadows. It is a rare opportunity for me to find myself without the worry of repercussions for speaking my mind, and I plan to make every word count. As a free suggestion that is very much not using the precious gift you've offered us, I choose to observe that you might consider sheathing your spear. It makes him uneasy."

Barnes thought he heard Ayo mutter something under her breath, but he couldn't make it out as she rose to her full height and turned to face him with that unreadable expression of hers.

"I will remain on alert," Nomble offered as Ayo stepped closer to the edge of the shield furthest from where Barnes stood watch.

He wasn't sure what to make of her, but the sight of her and her relative nearness to him made him profoundly uneasy. It wasn't the weapon in her hand that worried him, but the power of the words he was certain she wielded. He watched her lips, as if intent to capture the telling moment when everything he worked so hard for would suddenly begin to unravel, only for the horrors to return and swallow him whole once more.

As he regarded her, his mind struggled to come up with any viable alternatives for the predicament he found himself in. He hadn't tested the strength of the shield, but some part of him was convinced it was as impenetrable as they claimed. Part of him recalled another shield, a larger one cast in blue that was similarly capable of keeping things out rather than in, and so it led him to not seek to question the strength of the one surrounding him. Likewise, he didn't know the exact location of the electrical node the man in the black suit had placed on him, but his arm and body remembered its crippling efficiency.

It wasn't that he hadn't felt trapped before Ayo's arrival, but the presence of a handler a few feet away made him aware of just how immeasurably caged he truly was. How easily she could put a halt to the performance of all this with a single word.

He hadn't even gotten to see the sunset.

Ayo stood a few steps outside the boundary as she retracted her spear: as if that would make a difference, "I don't wish to do you harm," she insisted for not the first time.

He didn't believe it for a moment.

"It was wrong of me to seek to speak the words I did. I was startled and believed you to be someone else. I will speak them no more."

He didn't believe that either, but he didn't say anything.

"I confess I do not truly know who you are, but I am trying to understand. I wish only to help."

Briefly, Barnes considered if there was any value in trying to negotiate with her, but he couldn't come up with anything she wasn't fully capable of taking by force. Instead he simply watched and waited, letting her make the first move.

She took in a deep breath, but said nothing more as the crackle of fire filled his ears and he kept his attention focused on her mouth, waiting for the moment she made the first move to strip him of the little he had. Of everything he had. The silence between her words drew out as she added, "Is there something we can offer that would make you more comfortable?"

He kept his voice low as he responded, doing what he could to keep the threat he felt from rising into his voice, "I want you to leave me alone."

She flinched and contorted her face, falling silent again. "Do you remem-"

Yama cut her off from a distance away, "-know."

Ayo turned back to the other woman who was leaning over the assorted colorful bowls, cups, and baskets on the ground.

"Do you know," Ayo continued, emphasizing the last word, "how to meditate? What it is?"

He said nothing.

She responded by seating herself carefully on the ground and folding her legs up under her. He didn't miss her flinch as she drew them beneath her body and settled. "It is a technique to calm oneself. To take slow, deep breaths and draw out that which causes you distress. To center yourself as you listen to the world around you."

He was fairly certain she was hoping he would take the initiative to mime her movements, but he wasn't about to unless it was framed as an order. Even still, seeing her on the ground like that had a strange way of not earning his ire. He wasn't sure why that was, but his mind marked her as less of a threat when she was seated, even though the logical part of him knew he had to remain on alert, because it was the words she wielded that were the true enemy to his mind.

"You may not feel it, but you are safe here. You are among friends."

"I don't have any friends," he swiftly countered. "And certainly not you."

He couldn't read the expression on her face, but said nothing more as she sat silently and regarded him from across the boundary that separated their worlds.

Ayo wasn't entirely sure what she'd expected, but it was not this.

She supposed part of her had hoped the apparent progress Yama and Nomble had made with Barnes might have offered an opening for her to breach as well, but it was abundantly clear that he had no interest in hearing what she had to say.

The logical part of her tried to not take offense at the hate she saw in those eyes, but it was hard to see the man she knew braced in the far corner of the energy dome like a scared animal. One that was terrified of her specifically.

When the Soldier emerged, it was easy to tell herself it was almost someone else. Someone violent, who was drawn to violence and lethal intent. His blows were frightening in their ferocity, but the Soldier did not mince words. Somehow the mere act of hearing Barnes speak, leveraging her friend's strained voice… it had a way of causing Ayo more pain than she thought possible in the moment. The part of her that insisted this was a passing problem that would find resolution like so many countless challenges they'd taken on together, well: That part of her saw the man before her and feared for what future he might have. If they could not reawaken James, what would they do with this 'Barnes?' Would he be forced to simply live out his life in a cage like this one?

She did her best to not to let her worries show on her face, but when she caught Nomble's sad expression, her Lieutenant saw fit to offer encouragement, "It will take time. It took us many hours, and we share different histories. His mind is sharp, though. Observant."

Ayo said nothing. What she wanted to say was that in light of the day's events, that the hate in those piercing blue eyes was almost too much for her to bear. That it felt selfish for her to hope to break through to this man Barnes when could not yet find a way to separate herself from wishing it was James instead. That she wanted so much to reach him, to speak candidly with him about the truth behind the failsafe and more, and yet… they were at a terrible impasse, and it was up to her alone to swallow her own feelings and make herself present in the moment once more.

She thought of Nomble's words, that she should try to see the man before her with fresh eyes, and offer him to know her as "Ayo." She knew what her Lieutenant was digging at with her suggestion and she would not fault her for such a statement, but it didn't rest easy within her breast. Her instincts told her that she needed to be a strong leader, that people were relying on her to make decisions that would affect many. She could not afford to be weak, to show vulnerability at such a time.

As if having a surreal ability to sense her thoughts, one of those same Lieutenants helpfully from a short distance behind her, "I would also see to that leg of yours soon enough," Yama remarked.

Ayo turned her head from where she sat and shot her what she hoped was a suitable glare, but her charge didn't do so much as lift her head from her busywork, "You may reprimand me tomorrow for my boldness, but I am not wrong. It is only an observation. I retain my hold on my free pass on my words for a later time that suits me," Yama raised her head to Ayo and offered her a small smile, one that Ayo would have words with her about another day. Yama tilted her chin towards the food, "Mamma and Ch'toa show favor to us this night it seems?"

Ayo was not blind to Yama's indication of a change in topics and she got to her feet, stepping over the spread Yama had organized in her absence, "They send their prayers and regards."

"Certainly not the reunion we had envisioned, but better than none at all, yes?" Yama coolly observed.

"Better than none at all," Ayo agreed to the solemn truth of the statement, looking out over their surroundings and the trees sheltering the woods nearby. They reminded her of other times, some of them more recent than others. Quieter. Somber.

The most distant flickers reminder her of memories seven, nearly eight years old. Times when she sat and meditated with James and spoke of the challenges to come, his past, and his future.

It was a place beset by strife and pain. Where things had gone wrong and tensions flared and blood was shed by the Soldier's will. Still, it was also a sacred location where work was done to not only test the snare of the code words, but where James was permitted the space he needed to challenge their hold on him.

Ayo and others could show their support as much as they wanted, but at the end of the day, so many of the demons James fought were ones he knew he had to face alone. The fact he permitted her there with him spoke to the unique bond they shared.

Even still, as she looked out over their makeshift encampment, she couldn't help but recall where she used to stand watch, and the precise spot where he'd sat atop that fallen log so many years ago as she spoke the words and he summoned the strength to listen and stand against them.

In particular, she remembered when they'd at last been able to make it all the way through the sequence. The clarity of the night and that moment lingered in her as she spoke the last word. Only then did a sudden rush of emotions flood over his face one after another until he was left with such an expression as she'd ever seen before.

It was at once relief, but it was so much more.

"You are free."

They had no further use for words in that moment or in quiet time thereafter when the sounds of the crackling fire and peace of the night winds sought to bring comfort after so very many years of trials.

But simply because his mind no longer sought to work against him did not mean he suddenly found himself cured. The lingering damage that was was done was in some ways nearly as significant as pulling the code words free themselves, for it took time to diagnose and address each one. It took longer yet for him to be able to stand up to them, and not cower to the shadows they cast over him. He was stubborn, that one, and he thought himself weak for believing that he would be at once "cured" when the words themselves no longer pulled at him like strings on a tangled marionette.

Instead, they returned to this place to discuss such matters, to meditate, and test the words again and again until he developed strength to stand against them and the pull they once had. The fear. The horror. The helplessness.

And then at once: he and half the world were no longer there, and songs of the mountain birds went with them.

This sacred place of theirs took on a very different feeling in the absence of so many. For five years, it continued to bloom, grow, and flourish, as if nature wished to insist that life could go on, regardless.

Even if she could not.

Would not.

Perhaps that was why she permitted to Yama to sometimes be loose with her words. Because she'd been there too. She understood in a way that those that glimpsed the realm of their ancestors could not. Even she with her quick tongue would quiet in respect when she visited this place, this outcropping of stone, earth, and steady trees that sought to comfort in the ways only nature could.

Ayo caught Yama glancing her way, and in that moment she could not help but feel the fresh-faced younger woman was somehow glimpsing into the thoughts and worries that plagued her.

Ayo did not see judgement there. Only compassion.

And not necessarily her Lieutenant, but a friend that had stood with her here. Had visited this sacred place of theirs during and after Decimation, regardless of if Yama had herself chosen to move on or not.

"Well, he may not know us well," Yama began "But I have done what I could to try to teach him that wrong was done to him and that he is deserving of kindness and compassion. Nomble has shared wise stories of unlikely friendship that are fresh and wondrous to his mind. And you…" Yama slid a small tan bowl towards Ayo that she immediately recognized, "...you will be the one that finds a way deeper yet. Of this I am certain. We may share a Pack Bond, but you know one another in a way those around you do not. He had a term for it too, you know?"

"A term?" Ayo inquired, curious, if not a bit apprehensive.

A conspiratorial smile grew at the corner of Yama's lips, "Nomble knows it too. He asked her about it first when he was still new to learning our tongue."

Ayo turned her attention to Nomble, and she offered a casual shrug, "I had thought he had told you. He called you his 'indawo enamanzi amaninzi.'

His 'Oasis.'

The power of that solemn claim struck a very particular chord in Ayo, and she found she had to steady her breathing as she kept her focus tight on the precious jar she placed in her hands for fear that if she looked elsewhere, emotion might slip into her eyes.

She couldn't recall him saying that to her directly, but she remembered times when he slowly came into himself and found reason to smile, to laugh again. And as hard as the dark and trying times were, those other times made it all worthwhile.

Ayo looked across at him, trying her best to see him with fresh eyes.

Barnes said nothing as he glared back at her from under the undulating shadows of protective leaves. Those fearful, icy blue eyes of his wanted nothing to do with her, but regardless of what he believed, she'd sworn those same eyes an oath she would not break.

The man before her might not remember all they had shared. The good and bad. The days of triumph and simple pleasures. The trials that tested their mettle as well as their resolve.

But she did.

She remembered. And she told herself regardless of if the man in front of her would remember or not, she would do what she could to think him capable of being more.

"What approach would suit you?" Yama inquired.

Ayo shook her head, "No, this is a reunion of a sort. I would have us work together and lean on what lessons you have gleaned in my absence."

"My Chief," Nomble spoke up from a few feet away, "might I offer a suggestion?"

Ayo looked to Nomble and raised her head as she regarded her seriously, "I will hear you, but not as your Chief. Tonight, I will do as you encouraged. I will try to be 'Ayo.'"

Barnes was well-aware the three women were trying their best to manipulate him in some way, but what they were seeking to do was strange, even to him.

It wasn't that they'd opted to ignore him entirely, but somewhere along the way, the three of them had stopped making overtures trying to forcibly draw him out or interrogate him. Instead, Yama had asked his permission to set up a blanket of some sort just outside the furthest edge of the shield. When he didn't object, she laid out a variety of what he suspected were various types of food containers atop it.

Once she was done, she sought his attention again, "I have items for you, Barnes. A bedroll, two blankets, and a pillow. Do I have your consent to place them within the shield along with some food and drink? You do not need to partake of any of it, of course. But they will be there if you wish to."

This act, the act of crossing the boundary of the shield was not something Yama would accept silent acquiescence for. Eventually, he responded, "Fine, but not her."

Yama glanced to Ayo and managed a casual shrug before acknowledging him, "Of course. I will respect your request, and you do not need to remain on the other side of the line now that we are no longer inside." She tilted her head up towards him and added as she moved the items to just inside the shield, "You kept to your word and I shall keep to mine."

Once the pillow, bedroll, and one blanket were inside, Yama flourished one end of the remaining blanket and laid it out across the ground just inside the shield and began placing some bowls, small baskets, and other foot items atop it. Nomble assisted her as he watched from the far side, saying nothing.

Without another word, the three women opted to seat themselves just outside on their own blanket. They formed a small crescent shape with Yama and Nomble closest to the shield, and Ayo between them.

Then, they began going about their own business... ….as if he wasn't there at all.

He'd expected bouts of silence, or at the very least, continued attempts to force some barrage of topics upon him. Instead, they'd simply slipped into conversation amongst one another. The containers of foods initially placed inside the shield didn't stay where they were, either. Yama and Nomble saw fit to move them in and out of the shield and reach their fingers into various bowls and baskets before replacing them. He didn't understand what they were doing or why, no less what strange combinations of shapes and substances they were eating and drinking, but his mind sought to find patterns in their movements.

Most of the time, they took turns conversing with one another, but the topics often concerned names and places he did not know.

Still, he listened, hoping to glean clues. Something.

By and large, they ate and appeared to ignore him from this spot under the shadowed branches, but now and then, one of them would slip a question or comment his way, as if hoping he'd bite.

"If these foods do not suit your tastes, we can find you other options," Yama observed as she placed something green and slightly wilted into her mouth.

What was it? It didn't look like anything he'd seen.

"What do you like to eat?" Ayo asked as she dipped her fingers into a pale ivory substance he couldn't identify from where he was standing on the far end of the shielded area. Was it some type of doughy paste?

Barnes knew he was capable of foregoing nutrition longer, but the strange smells coming from the far side of the dome were unknowns his overactive mind found intriguing. Substances he couldn't identify or classify. It had only been days since he first started to explore the options that existed beyond HYDRA's meager nutritional offerings, and these were stranger yet.

In his first days on his own, he'd made due with what scraps he found within barrels and upright canisters he later found were called "trash cans." Soon after, when he realized he had no handler to rely upon, he sought to request nutrition from individuals prior to when they might relocate their unused supplies to the canisters.

His evolving negotiation tactics were remarkably effective.

That suited his intended purposes just fine until he'd discovered first vending machines and the free food hidden inside, and then, the wonder of the curious transactional nature of the cards he'd taken off the HYDRA agents that had made the mistake of trying to pursue him or his prior mission target.

While his HYDRA-issued clothing was effective and had an optimum amount of pockets, he was quick to notice that his appearance was not necessarily beneficial to objectives that placed him among the general populace. In particular, they found the sight of blood and bullet holes needlessly distressing.

Once Barnes procured suitable clothing and determined the relatively straightforward process required to secure nutrition with the plastic cards, he allowed himself the pursuit of determining more advanced substitutions for the pre-prepared purees and semi-solid protein supplements he was accustomed to.

He discovered the closest approximations were referred to as "baby food" and "energy bars," respectively.

The options available to him were far more varied than what he'd been given previously, and he began mentally cataloguing the various varieties to determine which were deemed the most palatable relative to their nutritional load.

Liquids were much easier to come by, and were available in a variety of sizes as well as colors. He'd quickly learned that some changed taste or consistency when their core temperatures were no longer maintained, while others did not. Some were available in bottles, others in cans, and still others were to be procured only from specific vendors during limited hours.

He wasn't certain of the exact meaning behind the strange series of code words visitors to the store front used, but he quickly learned that a 'Venti White Chocolate Mocha' was deemed desirable whether it was requested 'iced' or 'hot.'

Very desirable.

But as he stood and listened to the three tribal-clad women discuss assorted topics that didn't appear to relate to him, he concluded that the food and drinks positioned at the far end of the dome didn't look anything like what he'd seen. They smelled different too, in a way that was only seeing fit to remind him of just how hungry and thirsty he truly was.

Ayo'd asked him what he liked to eat, and while he hadn't seen fit to answer, she added without looking up from her food, "There are many options. Sweet. Savory. Salty. Spicy."

"And bland, but who would want bland?" Yama observed.

"There are some that like bland," Nomble defended as she dipped a morsel of something into a small blue jar, "It is uncomplicated. Simple."

"Booooooring," Yama responded, glancing over to Barnes, "Come now, whether or not you choose to join us, you must have a preference."

He wasn't certain he did. And if he did, what purpose would it serve to tell them? Perhaps, it could be used against him.

"You are overthinking a simple question. Even the dragon from Nomble's story had a preference for salmon over eel."

"There is a ceremony to sharing food," Ayo offered, keeping her eyes on the chunky, bright yellow substance in her hands as she spoke, "It forms connections. Memories. Experiences. We would not fault you for your curiosity about such things. All of us have been new to any number of foods on our travels as well."

"There is no harm in seeing deliciousness up close," Yama pressed, "Your senses may be sharp, but it is you that is missing out on the feast open for inspection before you."

He narrowed his eyes at that, but she lifted her head to face him, "I have been forthright and direct with you, as you have been with me. I have respected your boundaries, as you have mine. Consider for a moment, the possibility that what you fear most might not come to pass. That this could be the first of many meals you share with others. The first of many sunsets that cool into bright stars."

She pointed above her, as if gesturing to the sky that was warming overhead before she casually dipped a morsel of something plump and doughy into a bowl on his side of the shield, "You are needlessly stubborn. Regardless of whether or not the serum enhanced this core trait in you or not, I look forward to seeing the moment of realization dawn on you that no cruelty awaits you. This is the face I will make. See? It is a smile, like Sam's, but it is mine."

"That is called a 'gloat,'" Nomble helpfully supplied as she rolled her eyes, "Yama is very skilled at that expression. She uses it when she believes she has proved a point, and takes joy in having others revel in seeing she was wise and correct."

Barnes watched them. His instincts still told him that he shouldn't let his guard down for an instant, that they were just trying to lull him into a false sense of security before they wiped him.

But why the continued delay?

Ayo wasn't sure what it was that finally drew him out, but out of the corner of her eye, she caught movement from inside the dome, as the figure inside it slid a foot forward and slowly, carefully crept closer like a scared stray.

His approach was methodical, but not the movements of a predator seeking to land a strike on unsuspecting prey: it was the movement of an animal who was curious, but ready to bolt at a moment's notice.

She pretended not to see him.

When he was a little over halfway across, Ayo felt the weight of his gaze upon them, but she did not look up. Her warrior's nerves told her that a powerful predator had its eyes upon her, and that it was now within striking distance, but she laid her trust in the shield's ingenuity as well as Nomble and Yama's experience with Barnes to alert her if there was reason for concern. Part of her questioned if it was poor leadership to sit together and eat without any of them on active guard duty, but she told herself that the man a few feet away from them was not only contained, but had shown no aggression since he had agreed to trade himself so Sam could be taken for treatment.

She was quick to remind herself that that did not mean he could intrinsically be trusted, however.

After a time, Ayo became aware of further movement as he gradually lowered himself to the ground, so that his eye level was shared with them.

Ayo did what she could to try to ignore the sight of his bandaged foot as he watched them and then deliberately sought to seat himself in a position similar to their own while keeping his wounded foot extended so it was out of the dirt.

It couldn't have been comfortable in those tight jeans of his.

Such a strange fashion trend.

He made no further movements as he sat there and observed them, but Yama used one of her elbows to discreetly nudge Ayo, as if prompting her to take the next turn to speak. Ayo did what she could to determine what could be said that had the least chance of provoking him. Though it had been many years, she tried to remember back to the last time he'd suffered a bad reaction to their continued attempts to free him from the snares HYDRA had placed within his mind. Perhaps instead of trying to ask him questions, she could simply offer information to indulge his innate sense of curiosity that she hoped was still present beneath that harshly neutral expression of his.

"We dip our hands in water to clean them before we eat." She telegraphed the motion as she poured water from a jug into a wide, etched gold and black bowl that Mamma'd been wise beyond her years to include as part of her care-package.

Ayo continued, "There are savory pastries filled with curried meat and vegetables in the green striped basket, and a rich and flavorful soup in the clay jars to the side. It is a bit spicy on the tongue."

Nomble didn't say anything as she gently scooped out a bowl of white, purple, and black rice and sat it just inside the dome so it was within reach if Barnes chose to take it. Which he didn't.

"That is rice," Ayo added, "It has been seasoned with butter, garlic, and other spices to make it a suitable base for many of our foods. I like to make little balls out of it so I can dip it into the sauces, but you can also put the meat and vegetables into the crepes to make them easier to handle."

"There is no wrong way to eat," Yama observed as she took a bite and casually passed one of the baskets through the dome so that it was closer to Barnes before briefly retrieving another from inside and placing it back where it was. With expert precision, she popped one of the savory dumplings into her mouth whole.

Barnes watched the three of them, but didn't make any further movements as he took turns watching them. Their hands, their mouths, the food itself. Ayo wasn't sure how long it was into their meal when he slowly, carefully extended a hand to the basket nearest him, as if he was testing what would happen if his bruised fingers made contact with the woven cane.

Ayo didn't miss it, but rather than let silence call attention to Barnes's piqued curiosity, Yama sought to fill it wish a question she directed to Nomble, "Have you visited the new cat cafe in Northern Birnin Zanai?"

"There are many new cat cafes," Nomble observed, "Which one?"

"The 'Cattfeinated Comfy Chair.' It has oversized furniture that is meant to make you feel as if you are a small cat as well as rustic shelves along the walls and tubes for travel in the ceiling. The owners mean to host adoption fairs too."

Yama was going on about their flavored espresso as Barnes gingerly lifted the lid of the nearest jar, inspecting its contents critically before replacing it. Ayo pretended not to notice as he turned his attention to the finger bowl and discreetly dipped the fingers of his right hand in it, rubbing them together as if to clean them.

Ayo did everything she could to not draw undue attention to his actions, though she was certain the women to either side of her caught sight of them as well.

Yama continued to talk and Nomble feigned undue interest while Barnes took hold of a savory dumpling between two fingers and carefully inspected it before taking a first, tentative bite. He rolled the food around in his mouth experimentally before swallowing and taking a second bite, watching those around them as if he was wary of reprimand. He returned to stillness as he observed them and opted not to mime their exact motions as she'd seen James do before, but to instead take inspiration from them to create his own creations.

In her heart, Ayo knew it was not James before her, not really. Her battle-hardened nerves assured her that the bruised and battered man before her was still just as dangerous if pressed and cornered as he'd been not hours before, and her leg was quick to not let her forget that fact. But that being as it was, she felt an unspoken part of her relax at the sight of him sitting quietly atop the patterned blanket in this familiar place… listening. Watching.

Yama made sure to send Ayo that private, gloating smile of hers as she casually talked about the ridiculous names of the cats in the cafe she'd visited that morning and how they compared to another establishment she frequented.

Ayo wasn't necessarily following the conversation as she kept her head down, lifting only her eyes for just a moment to catch sight of Barnes as he glanced between Yama and Nomble.

His eyes immediately connected with hers and he froze in place.

They were still the blue eyes of a stranger, but there was less anger in them now. Less fear. There was confusion, certainly, but he was no longer wound so tightly that it seemed like the smallest move could set him off.

Though it made no sense in their present circumstances, she wanted so much to tell him she was sorry. And that she forgave him. And that though she wasn't sure what the future held, she would still honor the oath she'd made to him so many years ago to look out for him when he could not look out for himself.

But the man sitting only a short distance before her didn't remember that promise. Didn't view her as an ally or friend. So the only thing she could offer him in that moment was experience. Slowly, she passed a small tan bowl to Yama, who knowingly dipped a corner of her crepe in it before laying it through the boundary beside her so that Barnes could access it if he wished.

"Contained in that one," Ayo observed, "is orange marmalade. It is very sweet. It goes well with pastries and crepes."

She did her best to turn her attention back to her own meal after offering him the information free of command, but she did not miss when he carefully dipped a finger into the semi-translucent substance and regarded it curiously before pressing it to the tip of his tongue. Yama and Nomble didn't miss it either, and inadvertently they fell to silence as they tried to make it seem as if they were not each and all intently observing him for a reaction. Specifically: for the possibility that he might favor it as James always did.

Barnes rolled the substance around on his tongue before he dared to take another sample. After the second time, he said the first cautious words he'd spoken in the better part of half an hour, and they addressed them to not Yama or Nomble, but her, "…Is there more of this?"

"There is more," Ayo reassured him. She wasn't sure if she'd smiled once the whole day, but she felt it then. It ran quietly alongside the hope that maybe, just maybe, they could navigate this new challenge together, and conquer it like so many others.

If Barnes had thought to ask her the expression she wore that moment, it would have been one of "hope."

The meal, while understandably tense, was blissfully uneventful.

Barnes chose to remain nearly silent throughout the prolonged ordeal, though Ayo was certain he still believed that ill intention was just around the corner. While they could do their best to try to convince him otherwise, it was clear it would simply take time for him to come to the realization on his own, and that he showed no interest in being forced.

Once the meal was complete, he retreated again to the far corner of his translucent cage, tucking himself into the shadows behind the campfire to watch the sunset as if it might offer him some protection from whatever he feared was coming.

As Ayo helped to clean up after the meal, she could see him fold into himself as he watched the cloud-streaked skies blend from gold to a vibrant orange that dipped to crimson before fading out entirely. Now and then, Yama tried to speak to him, but it was clear her words were lost in the evening wind as his mind traveled to a place where they could not join him.

When the last of Orisha's bright brushstrokes finally lifted from the sky and the first of the night stars sought to make themselves known, Barnes turned his attention back to his companions. Though it was clear he believed with frightful conviction that the time where he could exercise some power of choice was soon coming to a close, Yama still sought a way to get through to him.

"I told you that you would see this and many more sunsets," Yama insisted, "did I not?"

Ayo was surprised when Barnes actually responded to her inquiry, "What are you waiting for?"

Yama sighed dramatically as she approached the shielded area, "So stubborn," she repeated, "As I have said before, no cruelty awaits you."

"Then what are your intentions?"

"Tonight? I plan to sleep with a full belly, enjoy the sight of our stars and smell of the fire, and after a much needed rest, I fully intend to gloat in the morning when you find my words to be steeped in truth yet again."

Ayo watched Barnes consider her words, but his attention leveled on her, specifically. Ayo got the impression he didn't dare to speak up against her. That was okay, because Yama was there to help them along.

"Nomble, what are your intentions?"

"I am tired," Nomble admitted, "I hope to stay awake awhile and then get sleep and find myself refreshed tomorrow. It has been awhile since I slept outside and I'm unsure how restful it might be."

Yama turned her attention to Ayo, as if letting her question remain unspoken if she wished to take it with both hands.

Ayo understood what she meant to do, and she searched her words to place them in a way that was honest, "It has been a long day and I am tired too. I intend to ensure we will need to take shifts to watch the fires and stay alert, but beyond that…" She spared a moment to look towards Barnes, "I simply wish to understand what you need so that I might help. I see the confusion in you, and I wish to find a way through the fog so that you might again know peace."

Barnes said nothing from where he stood along the far side of the dome, but Yama turned his question back on him, "And what of you, Barnes? What are your intentions this night?"

It was clear he hadn't anticipated his inquiry to be redirected at him, but after a moment, he responded, "...I don't know. I don't have a choice but to stay in this cage."

"You do not give yourself enough credit," Ayo countered, "Whether you choose to believe it or not, we care greatly for Sam Wilson as well. Your choice to trade yourself so that he could receive treatment was a profound and meaningful act. Its significance is not lost on us, and it is my hope that the shield will not be necessary if we can build trust between us. That will take time, but I'm too stubborn to not see important things through."

Her words were no different from any others, but for a moment, Barnes felt as if he was compelled to regard Ayo more closely for her solemn declaration. He wasn't sure what he'd expected to see just then, but it was almost as if… no… …was it? Had she said something similar before? He couldn't recall it, but it nagged at him. He remembered being told his memory was supposed to be crisp. Precise. Why then did it seem like some thoughts slipped through his mind like trying to hold fists full of sand?

...Had he ever actually held sand?

Where had that thought even come from?

He struggled to search this handler's face for clues about her true intentions, but he found nothing to grab onto. Nothing solid at least. He still didn't trust her. Hardly. But at the same time, he found himself questioning if any parts of her words could be true. And if they were: which ones?

The tenuous moment between them persisted, but it was Yama that spoke next, directing her words to him once more, "It is not improper for you to ask us questions if you wish to."

His eyes glanced to Yama and quickly back to Ayo. It had to be a trap of some sort. What would the purpose be of questioning a handler? He's been pressed into enrichment for far less.

"Yama is correct. I will hear whatever questions you have for me."

In that moment, trapped as he was within the confines of the shield, facing someone who could undo him with a single word, he felt as if he had nothing more to lose than to try and understand, "Who did you think I was?" He reframed his inquiry, "When you said you spoke the words you did because you believed I was someone else, who did you think I was?"

His handler cocked her head at that and paused a moment before she spoke. Her voice was somehow softer than before, "I believed you to be a dangerous man who acted only out of programmed impulse, and that we were your intended targets. I am… ...wary of how to explain this, because I do not wish to upset you when I do not yet grasp what might upset you."

Upset him? Why would a handler even concern themselves about such things?

"I believed something had gone amiss and your mind had reverted to a reactive state where our lives were in danger, and your only aim was to see that intention through. I see now that is not the case."

His mind traced the steps of her claim, and he drew out its logical conclusion: She'd believed he'd been acting as a Soldier. But why? Wasn't that what they wanted? Was something wrong with him, like there had been with the others? The handlers struggled to control them, too. They were unpredictable. Violent. Had he begun behaving similarly?

He struggled to put the pieces together, but he couldn't remember.

Nomble was next to speak, "We thought you were the Soldier. We did not yet know you were Barnes."

Ayo's lips adjusted at Nomble's words, but she did not dispute them.

"What name would you have Ayo call you?" Nomble asked.

Barnes hadn't heard the question coming, and its unexpected nature must have shown on his face as she added, "You concerned yourself much with the nature of the dragon's names in the story I told. But yours is your choice. We have respected it and Ayo will as well."

He didn't have an answer ready for that. He was certain, certain she'd called him "солдат," recently.

Soldier.

But when?

They were all just Soldiers to their handlers. What use would they have for a name when with a single command, they could choose a new one for him?

What was all of this really about? Barnes regarded the two of them a moment longer before he offered a non committal, "I don't know."

When they fell into silence again, Barnes watched from the shadows as Ayo stepped towards the edge of the overlook so that her back was to him.

The warmth of the day had since faded away, leaving the distance steeped in darkness, accented only by pockets of light in the far-off landscape. Their own encampment was illuminated by three campfires, and the closest one to Barnes cast waves of flickering light over Ayo's back, calling sharp attention to the silver armor across her regalia as well as the slight unevenness in her posture.

He still wasn't sure what to make of her. He didn't trust her, certainly, but she wasn't acting like any handler he could recall. Something was off, not the least of which was that he couldn't remember being in physical altercations with prior handlers, but he felt certain he'd fought Ayo on more than one occasion.

Why?

Stranger yet, as he stood beneath the canopy of leaves, he couldn't shake the strange feeling that had begun to seep into him about this place. That it wasn't familiar, but it also wasn't wholly new.

But where did that leave him, and what did it mean?

He caught motion to his right as Nomble checked the campfires and Yama tossed a small bundle of pale, leafy green plants atop the fire nearest her. The material burned brightly as it flared, settled, and smoked, leaving a very particular scent on the air, one that Barnes felt like he connected to this place. Pleasant, almost. Was that the mountain sage Nomble had spoken of earlier?

Yama stretched her arms wide before she laid face-up on the grass a short distance away. She shimmied a bit as she adjusted her shoulders, "This will be uncomfortable to sleep in."

"You said you slept out here before," Nomble observed, tossing a piece of wood to the fire nearest Barnes.

"I brought a change of clothes then. I'm not a savage. Who would wish to sleep in their work clothes?" Yama retorted.

Barnes watched as Yama patted the grass to one side of her, as if prompting Nomble to join her.

In response, Nomble sat down nearest the edge of the shield and looked out to where Ayo was still standing with her back to them, "Ayo?"

Ayo turned her head just in time to see Nomble make a gesture with one hand to indicate the space left open between her and Yama on the grass. Ayo's fingers crested over the beads around her wrist as she stepped back towards them and sat between the two women, looking out over the dark canyon below.

"It is easy to forget how bright the stars are out here without all the light pollution of the city," Yama observed from where she laid.

Barnes knew Yama wasn't speaking to him specifically, but he looked up to see what she was referring to and found his own view all-but obscured by the shadow of the trees he was tucked away in. He shifted slightly in place, leaning his weight into his good leg so that he could reposition the toes of his bandaged foot and crane his head forward a little so it was out from under the leaves above him.

When he did, he saw just a hint of what Yama was referring to.

Between the leaves, he could see at once that the sky above was awash with a cascade of stars far brighter and more numerous than he remembered in D.C. They stretched across the open sky in bands of sprawling, twinkling light.

"We have done many things together, but we have not done this," Yama observed, "Just… laid out under the stars as if we were children dodging our curfew."

"You had a curfew?" Nomble inquired.

"You are surprised she had a curfew?" Ayo remarked, earning her a snort from Nomble, who settled onto her back as well.

"Oh, I was not that bad," Yama defended, "I simply sought to stretch rules as far as I could to test them. It is a natural inclination." She paused a moment before adding, "This is nice though. Peaceful."

"It is," Ayo agreed from where she sat between the two women, looking up at the sky above.

"Nomble, you know the tales of these constellations, don't you?" Yama inquired.

"I'm sure you do too," Nomble countered. Firelight illuminated the side of her face, and Barnes caught her smiling from where she lay out on the grass just outside the shield.

"My Baba taught me some," Yama admitted, "but that you know many more. You likely have even collected books on such things."

"In multiple languages," Nomble observed, turning her head to the side towards Barnes, "Do you know the stories of our stars? They span many generations." She pointed a slender finger skyward, as if encouraging him to share her view.

"You can see better if you do not have to look through the leaves," Yama remarked, "And your neck will thank you if you choose not to strain it."

He considered the statement before he chose to step out to be closer to the center of the dome so his view was no longer obscured by the branches above. Movement from his right drew his attention as Ayo changed position and laid down like Yama and Nomble on either side of her.

No one forced him or asked him to share their pose, but he could feel the request lingering in the air. It felt odd to be standing when no one else was, and it wasn't doing any favors to his leg, so he chose to lower himself to the ground. When nothing happened, he slid onto his back of his own accord.

The sensation of the cool grass playing against his neck and lapping against his arm was new, but not uncomfortable. It tickled. While part of him fought the action, insisting that his choice to lay on his back made him vulnerable and open to retaliation, his curiosity to see what those beside him were looking at with such apt attention won out.

He reasoned that he was already on borrowed time. That many of the beliefs he'd been so certain of hours ago were now upended and in flux.

What harm could it do to hear another story?

From his vantage point on the ground, the sight of the stars was somehow more expansive. Maybe it was because he was no longer hungry. Maybe it was because the sky filled his vision and he could only see Nomble out of the periphery of his right eye, but it was almost as if the shield encircling him thought to offer him an unobscured view of the heavens, momentarily pushing away the confusion and worries surrounding him.

He could smell the campfire and the mountain sage. Feel the grass wavering against his skin and the play of the breeze over the fabric of his arm and the toes of his exposed toes and ankle. He should have felt nervous, ill-at-ease, strained and alert, but instead he felt oddly present. He found the sensation wasn't wholly unfamiliar.

Neither were the stars.

Strange.

He didn't understand it, but he didn't seek to fight it.

"The two bright stars there," Nomble pointed, and he did his best to follow the tip of her finger skyward, "Those make up the eyes of the panther goddess Bast. Legend says that long ago, when the five tribes of Wakanda were at war, she stepped into the dreams of a warrior shaman and led him to a rare plant that granted him strength, speed, and instincts. He became king and the first Black Panther, the protector of Wakanda."

Nomble drew her hand across the sky as she featured to the constellations above, "She keeps watch from the above, and if you look closely, you can see the outline of her back and tail and the clusters of stars that make up her four mighty paws there, there, there, and there."

Barnes shifted closer, trying to get a better look at which specific stars she sought to point out. He didn't intend to interrupt her telling, but she must have noticed his movements, because she glanced to him and drew her hand up again, "Can you see them? There, how she stalks brightly across the nighttime sky? Gazing down to see how her children fare?"

"Yeah. I think I see her."

"The Ibis God Thoth trails Bast," Nomble traced her fingers to her left, "The line of seven stars there make up the crook he holds in his right hand. You can see the shape of his great beak there, just up and to the left of the others. The tight cluster of three stars makes up his wizened eye."

Without realizing it, they fell back into that easy rhythm of her stories. And in time, those stories grew from legends and histories about the stars above to conversations between the women beside him and the tales they knew.

Barnes found he didn't have much to offer them, but he listened. Drinking in their words and discussions with rapt attention that had a way of settling into him in a very particular way. He found that as time went on, he didn't bristle quite so much when Ayo chose to speak, and though her voice didn't carry the same gravitas as Nomble's, now and then there was something almost soothing at the edges of it as well.

It was not that his worries went away, but it was almost as if the sight of the stars, the smell of the earthy fire, the tentative touch of the cool grass, and the steady tempo of the nearby conversation had a way of making him wonder. What might the future hold in the fleeting impossibility that Yama was right, and this wouldn't be the last meal he'd share, or sunset and stars he'd see?

What if he was permitted to remember?

As he held tight to the thought, he found it strange that though he was still undoubtedly caged, he was no longer driven by the impassioned desire to be left alone.

He didn't know why, but that felt significant.

Author's Remarks:

I had the incredible pleasure of working with deadbutdelicious (lunamrublum on Twitter) on a piece of art she created to go along with a scene from this chapter. Please check out this chapter on Archive of Our Own to see the art and link to her Twitter to see more of her incredible art!

And *huge* thanks to deadbutdelicious for bringing this particular moment to life in illustrated form.

Simply search for: "KLeCrone Ao3 Winter of the White Wolf"

250k! - I forgot to mention, but this story recently hit over 250k words! Starting out, I never thought this fic would grow into quite the sweeping story it has, but I have no regrets, and I can't wait to share what's around the next corner...

This chapter… ending up being a *much* longer chapter than I anticipated (what's new there, am I right?). While I considered dividing it up, I felt like we've been waiting to see Barnes and Ayo finally confront one-another for a while yet, and I didn't want to chop this into smaller bits and feel like I was forcing readers to effectively go to "commercial break" unnecessarily. :) So that said: I hope you enjoyed this heavy heaping of story!

Teela - I enjoyed the idea of Teela using Ayo's offer to speak her mind to confront Barnes about his actions and better understand him. While she obviously feels deeply for M'yra's plight, I'd like to think she asked some very important questions Barnes will be continuing to chew on going forward.

2014 "Barnes" in D.C. - I've had fun slipping in little bits and pieces about what happened to "Barnes" after he rescued Steve after the HYDRA fiasco in Captain America: The Winter Soldier, and the idea of him trying to figure out how to source out nutrition on the streets of D.C. is both a little rough as well as more than a little comical to me. Going from discovering food in trash cans and advancing through being able to order drinks at Starbucks… that *had* to have been quite the experience!

Ayo - I have a lot I could write here about Ayo, but it's been wonderful seeing her evolve through this story, and her willingness to surrender in some way and try to be fully present for Barnes and her sister Dora is just… it's really sweet and moving to me. While this was certainly not the reunion any of them would have wanted, there's something truly special about it.

Barnes's Enhanced Stubbornness - Comment earned credit of GrannyUnicorn (on Ao3). Thank you for this gem.

Thank you also to LivingProof (on Ao3) for offering me a refresher on what Washington D.C. smells like. ;)

Also thank you to rose_h (on Ao3) for introducing me to the song 'Strange Sight' by KT Tunstall in the comments of Chapter 44, because that song continues to give me *such* feels for the efforts of the Dora trying to break through to Barnes.

And LittleBlueBirdie on FF? I realize you don't have an account so I can't reply to you properly, but thank you, as always, for all of your enthusiastic comments. They are a treasure.

This continues to be a living, breathing story, and I want to thank all of you for sharing your enthusiasm with me, and for offering such wonderful reactions, thoughts, and conversations. I'll say it once and a hundred times more: your comments, kudos, and encouragement continue to be a light in the darkness, especially during some wild weeks of overtime here. Thank you, thank you for sharing this journey with me.