"If someone keeps bringing you down, perhaps it's time to get up and leave"
― Karen Salmansohn
Beck
"I am losing my fucking shit. What in the absolute fuck is going on here?!"
"Temper temper. The way I see it, you only got about 1 minute and 45 seconds before the cops are busting down your door and seeing this absolute bloodbath that is laid out before you."
"Why did you do this? Who are you?! What the fuck did I ever do to you for this fucked up shit to even happen?!" I scream into the phone, taking in all of the blood drenched surroundings, running though every bad encounter that I have ever had.
"All will be revealed in due time. But right now, you have about 58 seconds to climb out the fire escape window and leave before you have a very awkward situation to explain."
Damnit! I look at the blood splattered door and I can't tell if the pounding I hear is from the cops coming down the hall or if its the sound of my heart. I really don't have any time to think through my options.
"Tick Tock Mr. Ashford…" comes the menacingly playful voice on the other line. Fuck it.
I grab my jacket and make my way through the window. I struggle as I shuffle down the firescape. Cursing whoever put them in the upright position, which makes it more difficult for me to escape effectively.
Once, I'm down on the ground I quickly look up and I don't see the police looking out the window. I don my jacket, to hide my blood stained clothes and run my hands through my hair at a poor attempt to groom myself and ease my nerves.
I walk away from the building, stoping short once I see another squad car pull up. I
Fuck, what do I do now? I need to get out of here. I look around and the lights and sounds are all too much. I don't know where to go or what to do.
Who's blood was that? Whose bodies were those? Why the fuck am I caught up in this shit?
My head is pounding and dear God, do I fucking have a hangover in the midst of all of this bullshit?!
CUT!
I blink a few times, gathering my thoughts and wits about myself.
"Excellent Job Beck, you did great. We need to set up for the chase scene. Go ahead and take 10." Yells the director. I give him a thumbs up and make my way to my chair.
"Are you ready for the chase scene?" asks Chris. He's one of the stunt coordinators for the show. I have been working with him since the start of filming almost a week ago. He's amazing and really put his body through the ringer. For the most part, I have, and will continue to do all of my stunts. But this upcoming scene requires a lot of running, dodging, and even a pretty gnarly jump. I'm pretty amped up to do it. But…
"Yea, I'm ready. We've been practicing the jump all week."
"Yea, but if you're not sure, we can have Antoine do it no problem."
"I got it. I can handle it," I smile at him. I pick up my phone to see if I have any messages.
"Alright, alright. You better not fuck yourself up. Ethan will kill you if your hurt yourself." I roll my eyes. Ethan is the director and he's pretty much on edge all of the time. This is one of his first solo projects and he spent a lot of money in making sure that production goes on without a hitch.
My smile widens when I see that I have a message from Jalisia.
She is amazing.
She's so beautiful and carefree. That night we met, we stayed out talking until 3 am. Then I brought her back to my place and…
Memories of her hand tangled in my hair, her lips on my neck, my shoulder and much much lower. It's been a long time since I was able to enjoy myself with someone else…someone other than Jade…We've basically been inseparable since.
"What is that? A smile? Who got you smiling like this?" Chris mocks me.
"Fuck off man," I try to compose myself, but Chris is wiggling his eyebrows. "It's just a girl I'm talking to."
"Really eh?Things are getting serious?"
"You know, you really should try minding your own business."
"So things are getting serious. What's her name?"
"I think they are ready for you on the set," I tell him.
"Who needs me?"
"Ethan, I'm sure I heard Ethan say, 'Chris to the set', or something like that."
"You're so full of shit man," he laughs.
"No, I'm being serious, I heard them call you to the set." I look down at my phone and check the message Jalisia sent me.
Hollywood, a couple of my friends are getting drinks later tonight, want to stop by?
Sure, send me the details and I'll be there.
Kay, see you then ;x
"Look, there goes that smile again…"
"I'm really going to kill you man."
Fuck it though, he's right. I really like this girl.
.
.
.
Jade
"Hello…" I absently mindly answer my phone as I walk through the historical fiction aisle of the library and restock the shelves.
"Hi, Ms. West, this is Eleanor Rutgers from a week ago." Well she sounds familiar. "I was calling to let you know that we are giving you a callback for the role of MImi in the revival of Rent."
What.
The.
Fuck.
"I'm sorry?" I say into the phone, my heart racing. What, this isn't real, this can't be true.
"You are receiving a callback for your audition. Congratulations. It's between you and one other person. You really left an impression with the casting director."
"Oh my God. Oh my fucking God.I'm sorry, I didn't mean to curse, but ohmyfuckinggod. I got a call back."
"Yes, so we'll need to see you on Thursday, at 11 am. We'll have you do a scene from Caberet and perform 'Maybe This Time', do you have all of that information?"
"Y-yes, yea, I do. I got it."
"Great. Then we will be seeing soon Ms. West. Once again congratulations and good luck."
The phone beeps to signal that the call has ended and I can't believe it.
I got a callback.
I got a mother fucking call back!
I want to run and tell everyone. I…I…
I leave the book cart and make my way to the front counter where Jalisia is. She looks up from her phone and when she sees me a smile spreads across her face.
"Done with restocking already?"
"I got a callback," I whisper to her, trying to keep the eagerness out of my voice.
"You got a callback? Really? Princess…that's amazing. Oh my God, you got a callback!"
"Loweer your fucking voice please," I whisper to her, looking around. "But yea, I got a callback."
"Jadey, Jadey, Jadey, Jade! This is huge fucking news! I'm so fucking proud of you. We need to celebrate! Come give me a huge you grumpy, gothic, talented bitch!" She makes her way from behind the counter and give me a huge squeeze. I'm too excited to pretend that I don't like it.
"Drinks! We have to have drinks to celebrate." She states, pulling back from me and looking me in the eyes.
"Jay chill, it's only a callback. No need to get all outside of ourselves and what not."
"Girl please, this is exceptional news. Lets go out and get drinks. I can bring this new guy that I'm seeing and you can bring Andre. This is huge."
I get a prickle of jealousy when she mentions the guy that she's seeing. I do have small feelings for Jailsia. But I come with too much baggage for us to ever to do anything more than the occasional fuck. Besides…Andre and I have been…catching up and I don't know…it's been real nice.
I wouldn't mind getting Jalisia's opinion of him.
"Okay, fine, fine. But you know what it means if I get this part?" I give her my naughtiest look.
"You're finally going to move in with me? Oh my fucking christ, hell must have frozen over."
"Don't make me regret this more than I already do." I complain, but I'm actually really fucking excited. I have a callback. I know now to bring it more than I did previously. And since this shit is fucking working out, why not move in with Jalisia? Shit, why not fucking give it a chance with either Andre or Jalisia? Whichever one makes me the happiest, makes me feel the most whole? Finally, finally. I get my fucking chance. Finally, I get to show everyone…the ones who hated me, who looked down on me, who didn't fucking believe in me…
I wonder if he'll know.
NO!
Don't think about him, don't mourn the fucking past. Finally…I'm not a fucking failure. I'm…I'm…
Oh my fucking God, I am such a baby…but I'm happy.
I just need to nail the fucking callback. I can do it. I fucking got this.
I got this.
.
.
.
I stand outside the Karaoke bar that Jalisia wanted to go to. She's inside signing us up for songs and ordering drinks. I'm outside waiting for Andre. I texted him and asked him to come by, but I didn't tell him the news. I don't know, it feels kind of private and intimate…I want to tell him this semi good news alone.
"Jade," I look around and I see him. I feel the familiar, thump-da-thump in my chest.
"Andre," he pulls me into a hug and I inhale his scent. "I'm so glad that you could make it."
"You know I love hanging out with you girl, besides, I'm looking for a new sound for a song that's been rattling around in my head. I'm hoping to be inspired."
"Well then lets go find you some inspiration, but before we go in…you know how a few days ago, you asked me how I was doing or whatever?" His mouth quirks up into a side smile.
"Yea…"
"Yea, yes, okay so. Um actually, earlier that day I had just auditioned for a role in the upcoming revival of Rent and I was pretty bummed because I didn't think that I had a good audition. But earlier today, I got a phone call and now I have a callback!" This is so stupid.
"Jade, that's amazing!" He gives me another hug and lifts me into the air. It's so hard not to squeal in delight like a child. "Girl this is amazing news!" He sets me down. "I hope the world is ready for you."
"You are so stupid, you haven't changed a bit." I playfully hit him in his chest. Looking up, I push back some errant strands of hair. His eyes are so happy and peaceful. I'm so happy that he's here. I can feel myself leaning in closer…
"Opps, sorry!" some tipsy person bumps into Andre, "Oh My God! It's you, you're Andre!" The person dissolves into a being of happiness. "Oh my God, I can't believe it, can I please get a pic with you?! Oh man, I love your album so much! I was actually planning on singing one of your songs today. But gosh, I don't know if I want to sing it with you you going to sing? Oh man, I'm so sorry." they rattle on and on, and Andre just takes it all in with a sincere smile. I catch his eyes, and it seems as though he's apologizing. I just smile and shake my head.
I mouthed to him that I'll meet him inside and I made my way in. I squeeze myself through the crowded entrance and look for Jalisia. I see her sitting at a table that is closest to the bar, but with an amazing view of the stage. There is someone on stage singing a terrible rendition of Dead of Alive by Bon Jovi. I gave Jay a strained look as I gestured to the person on stage. She laughs and gives me a drink.
"Hey, where is the famous and talented Andre?" she laughs.
"He got caught up at the front with one of his adoring fans. I escaped before they asked me to take a picture of them." I look around the bar, taking in the low, yet colorful lighting, the bar area that is placed in the center of the place, crowded with people grabbing drinks, placing orders and ect. "Where's your new friend? I'm looking forward to meeting this person."
"He'll be here in a few minutes. Filming took longer than he expected today."
"He's an actor?" I turn my attention to her and lift an eyebrow.
"Don't give me that face, it's irritatingly sexy."
"Has he been in anything that I've seen?"
"I don't know all the things you've watched babe." I roll my eyes at her elusiveness. "You can hound him once he gets here."
"You really just left me out there by myself?" Andre comes up to the table.
"What? You were busy! I didn't want to get in between you and your adoring fans."
"Uh-huh?"
"This is Jalisia by the way,"
"Hi, I'm-"
"Andre Harris, I know. Lots of people know who you are." She smiles at him.
"Jade's oldest friend, is what I was going to say." A giggle escapes me and they both look at me like I've grown an extra head.
What the fuck was that? Did I just giggle? Why did I giggle? I don't giggle. Giggling is for small children and puppies. Not me. WTF?!
I clear my throat and look around. I see that the person singing Bon Jovi has finally stopped."So Jailisia, are you going to go on stage and sing for us?" I ask.
"Yea, eventually. But I think you should go on first, we are celebrating your good news." She reaches across the table and squeezes my forearm.
"I don't know,"
"Jade you should totally do it. Maybe you can be my muse like you used to be?" Andre encourages me.
"That was only one time, it was one time." I tell Jalisia. I can see the gears working and turning in her head. I look at Andre. "Besides, you're the famous singer here. Why don't you go on stage and sing one of your songs?"
"I'm not getting paid to sing tonight…am I?"
"I thought you loved singing?"
"I love doing a lot of things. Eating cake, taking a shower, going on a walk in the park, eating-"
"Okay, we get it. Jalisia, you sing."
"I already told you, not until you go."
"How about you two go on together?" Andre suggests. I open my mouth to combat it but its actually not a bad idea. I like performing in front of people and Jalisia and I do harmonize pretty well.
"I'm down with that,Jay, is that cool with you?"
"Sure babe, let's go."
We walk up to the Karaoke moderator and looks through the book of songs that they have for us to sing.
"Hey, how about this?" I ask her.
"It's not really a duet though…"
"We can swing it," I tell her and she shrugs. I look at the moderator and nod. He puts the song in the queue and since it's only 7 pm on a Tuesday, not many people are lining up to sing and we go on immediately.
Once upon the stage, I had a pretty good look at the whole bar. I see Andre at our table and he raises a glass to us. I smile and look at Jay and her eyes are closed as she gets into the mindset of the song.
The notes of Careless whisper starts to play and I feel a smile tug at my lips. It's kind of like a rick roll singing this song, but i don't care. I feel happy and George Micheal is always amazing.
Jailisia sings first. Her husky voice setting the tone. She sounds so good. I just listen and vibe out to her singing the first verse and then I join in with her on the chorus.
"I'm never gonna dance again
Guilty feet have got no rhythm
Though it's easy to pretend
I know you're not a fool
I should've known better than to cheat a friend
And waste the chance that I'd been given
So I'm never gonna dance again
The way I danced with you, oh"
I take over on the second verse, and I look out into the crowd. But…I must be seeing things.
"Time can never mend
The careless whispers of a good friend
To the heart and mind
Ignorance is kind
There's no comfort in the truth
Pain is all you'll find"
Jalisia joins in with me, but I'm really only paying half attention. I see the familiar gorgeous head of hair. I blink rapidly as my heart pounds loudly in my ears. No, no, no, no. This can't isn't happening. This isn't fucking real.
I look to Andre, who seems to noticed that I am freaking the fuck out.
"I should've known better than to cheat a friend (should've known better, yeah)
And waste the chance that I'd been given
So I'm never gonna dance again
The way I danced with you, oh"
I'm trying to keep up with the song, but I know it's him.
It's Beck.
He comes more into my field of vision and is looking directly at me. Everything stops. My heart stops. The music is so far away.
He is looking up at me and I can't read his face. I…I…what…
Beck…
I faintly hear Jay still singing the song in the background, but I've completely stopped. I've lost all air. I have to be fucking dreaming.
He's here.
What.
The
Actual
Fucking
Fuck.
Beck.